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#crack fic

My Queen, My Enemy

Part II - Truth be Told

A/N: Yes, there is a part two. Yes, because people demanded for this and I actually finally wrapped my head around something. No, I am not ok with this. Again, the following feelings go as follows: 😱😫😡🤬🤮 (oh and before I forget, this is just a filler flashback chapter; so this happens before Part One — and yeah, it’s probably lame)

Good luck reading and recovering from this, I guess 😅

Word Count: 967

I am participating in this week’s Wacky Drabble, and the prompt is: “Are you bleeding?” It will be bolded below.

Taglist go (plus, the people who asked to be tagged)! @bebepac @texaskitten30 @gkittylove99 @ofpixelsandscribbles @miss-smrxtiee @kingliam2019 @cordonian-literature @txemrn @marshmallowsaremyfavorite


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.you old fart

{grandpa emerson x reader}

rating: explicit

summary: reader gets dicked down by grandpa emerson

warnings: SMUT, gender neutral reader, crack fic, reader is 30+, spontaneous love confessions, spontaneous marriage proposal, reader refers to him as ‘grandpa emerson’ like one time because That’s His Name,

a/n: all right—buckle up, boi’s and boo’s, this ones a doozy. written because @theyreonlynoodlesmike asked so nicely for yummy granpa emerson smut 🤪✨


Originally posted by skybound2

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Request: You wanted requests, I give. How abt a scenario where Chuuya’s s/o is thrashing a lot in their sleep bc of a weird dream, and just when Chuuya tries to wake them up, they kick him in the crotch XD (hcs are also fine btw)

a/n! I really love this, thank you dear anon, I hope I did it justice bahaha :)

Warnings | Cursing, Crack Fic

It had been a few weeks since you and Chuuya moved in together, and it was wonderful! Sleeping next to him every night was a dream and he was so sweet, not to mention a great cook. Despite his long work hours.

It was late, around 10pm when Chuuya finally returned home and settled down into bed with you. After exchanging a few sweet words and a kiss goodnight you both laid down to get a good nights rest. Or so you thought.

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yeehaw, good buddy

If there was one task Charlie Weasley was expecting to help with during his visit home for Christmas, fixing the dragon fire charm on Harry Potter’s motorbike certainly wasn’t one of them. While he knew the motorbike had originally belonged to his late comrade Sirius, the thought of his little sister’s husband raising children and driving around muggle London on a motorbike just felt weird. Charlie wasn’t one to judge, however, and this particular charm was one he would prefer to fix personally, knowing full well how dangerous dragon fire was. He certainly didn’t want his father out here mucking about without proper supervision.

He wasn’t expecting the task to take so much time, but Charlie didn’t mind much - his dad had managed to fix up a Muggle radio in such a way that it played Muggle radio as opposed to the standard Wizarding Wireless, which he thought was a nice break from the same twenty or so songs he heard every time he was out in the shed. The country song in particular wasn’t quite to Charlie’s taste, but he found himself tapping his toe despite himself. He had heard it a few times in the hours he had been outside and eventually realized he wasn’t that annoyed when he caught himself singing along to the chorus.

“Our song is a slammin’ screen door..” he belted, clapping one hand on his thigh as he stomped his foot, “sneaking out late, tapping on your –”

“Whatcha listening to, Char?” his older brother Bill interrupted, leaning against the doorframe with a grin that said ‘what in the ever-loving fuck are you doing?’

“Oh! Um…” Charlie stuttered, flicking his wand at the radio, surreptitiously changing the station to something that made him feel a little less guilty. “Pearl Jam?” he attempted, immediately registering the guitar solo in Even Flow, but knew it was futile.

“Was that…” Bill began, laughing into his hand before taking a sobering cough. “Were you listening to Taylor Swift out here all alone?”

“What? No!” the younger redhead stuttered, his ears turning that stupid Weasley pink whenever any of them were caught in a lie, embarrassed, or caught in an embarrassing lie. “I was listening to Pearl Jam and I bumped the radio! Stupid knobs…”

“Char, you were singing along.”

“Was not,” Charlie countered, yanking on the sleeves of the flannel around his waist to tighten it before crossing his arms across his chest.

“I heard you. I saw you, Charlie,” Bill reminded him, doing his best to not burst into laughter again. Bill couldn’t remember the last time it had been so difficult to keep a straight face.

“Dunno what you’re talking about,” Charlie shrugged as the radio DJ announced the next song. “Good one,” he mused under his breath as the soft intro to Down in a Hole by Alice in Chains kicked on.

“It’s alright,” his older brother comforted him, transfiguring a nearby plug into a wide-brimmed cowboy hat and placing it on Charlie’s head, patting it like he would console a small child. “You enjoy being an angsty teenage girl, and I’ll enjoy telling Hermione you’ve lost your mind.”

“Hey!” Charlie countered, unsure how to respond to the weird level of insult that was so casually thrown at him by his big brother.

“Mum sent me to tell you lunch is ready, by the by,” Bill grinned. “You should wear your new hat. I think it suits you. Hermione’ll love it.”

Charlie merely glared and didn’t move from his spot, still rooted by the radio. Bill’s grin grew at least three sizes.

“Yeehaw, good buddy.”

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“random” texts with your boyfriend : suggestive/ fluff

shinsō x reader


*ps the first two, the reader sends him a pic of their lingerie*

a/n: aaa this is just a test I just wanted to see how I interpreted his character… I have mix feelings about this. I personally feel like he’s the type to rarely use emoji lol anyways enjoy these random texts


131 notes

I know literally nobody cares about my posts but hey (debby ryans) I’m feeling extra creative with this guy rn so…enjoy!

No powers just love interest tings, bc Saiki without his powers is interesting.

“I am miss y/n living my wattpad life, I am the main character, I’m that bitch.” You tell yourself in the mirror as you pose dramatically while flipping your hair quoting memes along with trying to hype yourself up.

You continue to seduce yourself for god knows how long before being rudely interrupted. “What the hell are you doing?” 

Jumping back in surprise you turn around to the unwanted guest. ‘I knew I forgot to lock the door’  

“Just my morning mantras what are you doing here…Ku-chan~” You say earning a look of disgust from the boy. 

“Don’t call me that ever again you sound like my mom.” He told you with a glare before lifting your school bag up a pointed look on his face.

 “I came here with your friends to pick you up.” He admitted sighing before leaving your room to let you get dressed. 

“Where are they?” Nendo asked taking notice of Saiki coming back without you. “Still getting ready, why do I always have to be the one to get them?” Saiki questioned his indifferent expression back.

“Because you two are like soulmates or something.”  Mikoto grumbled out earning hums of agreement from the group.

Crossing his arms with his curiosity peeked. “How are we soulmates?” Saiki  pressed with a quirked brow. 

“Who’s gonna tell him?”  Toritsuka asked looking around at everyone, staying silent, Kuboyasu whistling away, before Kaido sighed looking over to Saiki.

“Where should I begin? The way you two look at each other, the way you fix all their problems, how no matter how mean you are to them they always give you their dessert because they know it’s your favorite-”

 “Hey Kaido.” Chiyo let out making him turn to her. “Hmm?” “I think he gets the point.” She reassured resting a hand on his shoulder in emphasis.

“Yuh-huh, I get that you guys are a load of-” “Hey, sorry to keep you all waiting.” You say interrupting the pink haired teen not noticing the way everyone was eyeing the two of you. 

Once everyone walked into the building you took Saiki aside pulling him over. “Can I get a piggyback?” You asked earning a raised brow. “No, why ask now?” He queried looking you dead in the eyes, feeling like you were melting under his gaze you shyly grinned. 

“I wanted to experience my first with you…” You admit making him turn red. “You’re making it sound so wrong.” Saiki cringed out earning laughter from your end.

 “I know, I’ll stop.” You cackle out walking into the building, Saiki trailing behind.

The day went on until lunch where you found yourself surrounded by everyone at your desk. 

“Hey Kikomi, why didn’t you show up this morning? Everyone was walking together, even Saiki.” You pressed not mentioning the fact that you usually catch Saiki on the way to school without the group anyways.

“Me? Well I had something I needed to do at school.” She admitted eyes to the floor twisting and twirling her hair her face now beet red. 

You looked at her curiosity written all over your expression, before letting it go and changing the subject, letting lunch go on.

Nearly zoning out for the whole day, only realizing because the final bell rang and everyone was leaving the classroom. 

Collecting your things and getting up you leave the classroom alone.

Heading down the hall you hum along to the music blasting through your headphones, when you suddenly found yourself pulled into a room. 

This is it you’re dieing you never even got to have a piggyback ride you knew Saiki should’ve listened now you were going to die in the- supply closet? “Saiki?” He shushed you pulling you closer to him as you both stood there in silence.

“Saikiii.” You heard Kikomi calling out his name looking up at Saiki in question. “What’s going on?” You whisper. “She’s trying to ask me out again.” He responds annoyance apparent. 

You roll your eyes at his response crossing your arms. “You’re such a jerk, what’s your problem? Just turn her down nicely, what does it have to do with me anyways?” You asked.

“I don’t think you understand, even if I turn her down she won’t stop and her cult of worshippers wont let me live in peace ever again.” Saiki hissed under his breath. 

You look into his eyes before finally looking down at his arm wrapped around you. He follows suit both of you making eye contact before quickly jumping away from one another. 

You wipe at your waste as is it could dust off his touch, his letting out a heavy breath straightening his tie out. “I need you to help me get out of school without her noticing me.” He tells you gazing into your eyes.

“Fine but you’re treating me to dinner, and paying.” Saiki groaning at your request before shaking your hand. “Fine.” He grumbles out as you throw a fist out in the air in victory.

“Alright, grab my hand.” You tell Saiki, he looks down at your hand before hesitantly grabbing it. “Don’t do anything stupid.” He orders, only to watch you laugh at how adorable you find his serious face to be. 

“I wont.” You say with a mischievous smirk before bursting the door open and running maximum speed towards the back exit, dragging Saiki behind you stopping in front of the exit with him releasing his hand and looking around the halls.

He raises a brow at you watching you pull out your phone and blast your music, slowly beginning to dance before going full on out and pulling him into it. You continue to pull off weird dance moves finally shoving the door open.

The two of you stand there catching your breath. “I said don’t do anything stupid!” He yells as you laugh. 

“Come on it’s not like she saw us, and that was all you really wanted to begin with, plus you’re going to take me out on a date.” You say with a wink, pulling him by the hand behind you.

“It’s not a date.” He deadpans.

“It’s a date.” You cheekily respond. 

He only sighs rolling his eyes, letting a smile settle on his face as he lets you drag him behind you.

Yeah he’s definitely the love interest.

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Heheh yessir- I posted that for you boo. I also totally don’t mind if you ever send in asks just telling me AB your day 💖 (PS I wasn’t sure how to write this so it ended up being short, but you can tell your cousin that gummi-chan made a fic about her 😝)

C/N - Cousins name


A phone call is here! A phone call is here! A ph-


“I CANNOT DEAL WITH C/N- SHE JUST RAN IN SCREAMING THAT SHE ‘UNLOCKED HER SOUTHERN ACCENT’-” I burst out laughing, waving away the curious boys near me.

“Y/N, who are you talking too?” Denki whined, plopping his head on my shoulder. (Put your head on my shouuuulldeeeerrrr)

“Denki, bad pikachu. Down.” I mumbled, booping his nose.

“YEEHAW I’M SOUTHERN NOW-” I groaned, facepalming.

“That’s not how southerners sound, you little jackass. You’re doing it wrong! You do it like this!” Mina stared at me, jaw dropped.

“Your poor cousin-”

“My gawd, you’re a disappointment to all southerners. I will yeet you out a window.”



“Whattt? My accent is perfect!”

7 notes

Au where Oliver’s and Marcus’ relationship starts with they both wanting to break Harry’s leg

Listen guys, it’s awesome

Imagine that Harry Potter one day said he can’t play in next quidditch match cuz he had broken his leg. Oliver checked it and found out that everything is alright with Potter’s leg and he’s furious

Harry, of course, had to play and Oliver planned that right after the match he would break Harry’s leg — after all he had already said it’s broken, right?

But on the pitch, Flint threw a Bludger straight at Harry and he fell off his broom and… Broke his leg

And Oliver instead of being pissed off, came to Marcus after the match, to thank him. He did the work for him

Well, it’s crack of course and one of my conversation with my friend

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Breaking and Entering (not in that order) - November_Clouds - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]
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I miss the era of crack fan fiction like the sun 🌞 misses the flower 🌺 in the depths of winter.

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Yeah sure I do offer highly secured shipping with tracking information provide.

Dm for more details

Wickr me : @Lucasjane2


Snap: @lucas_jane00

Telegram; @Willyjame

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Quotes from my friends that could be fanfic titles, and what I think they would be

• Dobby the hooker - crackfic oneshot

• what happened to the catgirl - mystery, angst, 30k words

• deku (derogatory) - bakudeku, slow burn, 50k words

• ur brain? huge - college au/party au, oneshot

• dongobongo - danganronpa crackfic

• It’s the nerd rants, isn’t it? - Deku-centric, hurt comfort, 10k words

• mmmmm, fried brains - Denki-centric, fluff, oneshot

• oh no he’s kinda pretty - online dating au, chat fic, 20k words

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Kuroo/Tsukishima, Haikyuu!
More than five years ago I got an anonymous prompt that went as follows:
kuroo confesses to tsukishima, who firmly believes it was a bad joke/prank until yamaguchi (who heard from shouyou who heard from kenma) convinces him he might be wrong
Recently I’ve been getting into Haikyuu again and was rereading old fics, and found this honest to god finished prompt fill in my drafts, only missing a final spellcheck. It’s random and very crack, so if you enjoy that: here you go.
A random revival of a blog that’s been dead and buried for 3 years :’)

It’s just a coincidence that they are seeing each other now.

Tetsurou had had no idea that Tsukishima has family in Tokyo, and would never have dreamt that Tsukki would reach out to him – of all people! - just because he’s in town and has nothing better to do. Sure, they had been chatting a lot lately and Tetsurou can’t even try to pretend he’s not head over heals for the kid so yeah, of course he pretty much wants to see him always. Nobody that understands the situation would be surprised at how he drops everything and rushes to meet the tall bespectacled blond that snatched his heart.

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