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pollosky-in-blue · 6 months
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I always try to touch what I shouldn't touch
and I want what I can't have
and I spend nights on my phone, afraid of dying
and I realize that every living being around me
is mortal
I wonder when I started to be afraid of the night
and I can't look at the starry sky anymore
because it reminds me of everything I don't know
and that I'd like to know
and that I'd like to touch
and that I'd like to buy
and every item I bring home
is so mine that I'd like to merge it with my body
I wish I was a teenager again
and could have fun again
I'd like to be despicable again
and amoral
and I'd like to meet that girl
and kick her
because there's no current problem of mine that isn't her fault
but I had fun
and maybe this poem is too personal
and I'm sorry for what I've done
and I'd like to talk to myself
tell myself that maybe it's not my fault that my hands are constantly shaking
I want to cry under the stars
because only they can understand
I forgave myself last year
yet I carry myself around on a leash
and I punish my body
and maybe even now I'm just doing what I always do
I am judging myself
but my legs never stop
because I know I'm walking on a treadmill
and I can't afford to stop.
– just keep going.
lunebordeaux, 20/08/23.
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pollosky-in-blue · 6 months
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i love laura palmer
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pollosky-in-blue · 10 months
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Hunger.
--
Twitter / Shop / INPRNT / Patreon
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pollosky-in-blue · 10 months
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Literally two clicks and a swipe away from deleting all contact with real life individuals. Am I to start again?
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pollosky-in-blue · 10 months
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Yoo??? This sounds fun but??? I DON'T REMEMBER YOU ARE YOU SURE THIS WASN'T AN ACCIDENTAL TAG?
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Anyways this is an ominous omen ngl
@the4humours @its-toasted @anjo-by-the-sea no pressure people ♥︎
ok new tag game search your name in the gifs and the fourth one is how your years gonna go (i saw this on facebook)
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Oh- thanks for the tag @lord-of-the-weird
Tagging: @visfar-the-101 @lost-highwayy @nikkisqueenofsleaze @kurtsnirvanabrother @novemberslashhx @axysbbygurl @adlersrose @rocknrollsoul76 @pinkpatiencecreepers @hungercityhellhound 🤍
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pollosky-in-blue · 10 months
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Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.
It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s having sex because you want to be used or abused or defiled. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.
Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.
It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.
This sort of behavior is classified as “para-suicidal” It’s putting yourself in a situation of danger or destruction with the intention of risking your safety rather than a direct attempt on your life. Kind of, leaving it all to chance? Also doing things to harm yourself or your self worth because you feel you deserve to feel the outcome of those actions.
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pollosky-in-blue · 10 months
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salud por el fuego y la lluvia (joy in fire and rain)
at the end of the day there is no one other than you i would come home to the mirrors of shop windows bend to break shattered illusions and rejoice in the simple art of breathing.
the witches cauldron of gentle fire rushes brushes past the crowds moving on and off the train platforms as we shed our skin to the grey slanting rain your fingers slide into mine as the glove of hearts contentment.
tomorrow is passion where hot bread with a soft centre is cut up into squares to drop into vegetable soup. a cat will purr in delight at the fresh kill of a wood spider and when the rain stops change will dry up the muddy puddles that only the day before soaked our socks right down to the heel.
with whiskey dry hands we retire to our thirsty exchanging of keys in locks before switching off front porch lights.
at the end of the day I only want to be awoken at night by your annoying snores and the sound of embers emitting joy as it is here in all that you are.
Soundtrack to winter in Australia: “Rain to Be”: ONEWE
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pollosky-in-blue · 11 months
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yeah I've been getting really into metalworking these days
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pollosky-in-blue · 11 months
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what if aquatic animals had Tumblr would that be fucked up or something lmaooo anyways
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🌿 mx-seagrxss Follow
mating season is such a chore. wdym i have to migrate back ten thousand miles just to find some bitches
🐟 thatsalmonboy Follow
outta my way gayboy I'm boutta get it
🐟 thatsalmonboy Follow
i have been transformed into a creature beyond my wildest imaginations
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🎣 cardinesan Follow
uhhh was nobody going to talk about how the new update makes the site virtually unusable for crustaceans ???
🌊 pelagic-tragic Follow
honestly even if we tell staff you know they're not going to do anything. crustaceans make up such a small percentage of oceanblr right now that it's going to be impossible to get them to care. the treatment of anyone who isn't a bony fish on this website is atrocious tbh
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🌑 the-midnight-zoom
oh my cod its so dark down here why do i have such piss poor eyesight. if my eyes could open any wider id be doing that but nooo my house in the god damn depths says get fucked. not even my cousin in that one cave has to put up with this wtf
🔦 anglerfished Follow
hey come here for a second
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🦑 a-sinkingsquid Follow
absolutely freaking out right now you frys don't understand ... There's another squid at this whale fall and she's really really cute! I want to talk to her so bad but I'm scared as all hell ... what if she thinks I'm trying to eat her and swims away ? ?
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🐋 girlwhaletail Follow
shipping discourse is sooo pointless like? you argue about ships? ⛵ those things that sound really loud & pass by me everyday? 🛳️ whoo whoo?
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🐌 justasnailfish Follow
where is every one ..
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pollosky-in-blue · 11 months
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the night is still young. i can do yoga and use my oil pastels. i can cut another fruit. i can write in my journal. i can make a poem. i can invite the figure outside my window in
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pollosky-in-blue · 11 months
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I never go on twitter (because, you know, it’s twitter) but I just had a look at it to check up on Hank and I’m glad to see he’s being *extremely* Hank about this
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pollosky-in-blue · 1 year
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eulogies for you and me https://www.instagram.com/p/Crh52FLyDaeYIITYZhzDbIlb-zU6_MRX2TXu2Y0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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pollosky-in-blue · 1 year
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4.
Oh darling, these are hard times. Phlegm and shit freeze us within And Hypocrisy always has the widest Embrace to envelope us till night Melts into the silent, livid dawns. The birds of paradise are nesting in our Chimneys, and the sparrows have Fallen beneath seventh heaven on the Hard tarmac, each feather frosted In place like the New Year's cake. The candles go out in your damp Breath - there is hardly enough Plates to go around but who gives A shit? Our hands are porcelain.
pollosky-in-blue
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pollosky-in-blue · 1 year
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to wish impossible things
like if our names had the same meanings and clouds could give themselves over to touch, like you resorting to snail-mail or if regret was a stranger you met at the park and never forgot, especially the way he would be scattering tinkling beads of rice for the clay pigeons to squabble over. but dearest one, our names do share a single meaning. and yesterday the Reuters released an article on the crazy man who dragged a cumulonimbus to absolute zero, and - and -you sent me the cuttings by post. the pigeons have brushed off the dirt in this year's first spring rain, and they fly again. such rizz (oh yeah) never was heard before, we behold Santana's spectre, serenade the downtown jazz. is truth then, not truth enough? the hope in your eyes scare me like spirits do you. and i push you off like a passerby at the flea market, in the mess of all things, until we are aga in inthe safe holds of impossibility.
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pollosky-in-blue · 1 year
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...refuge in adversity
I look within your aphotic depths
and wonder,
if the Ocean would let me build a roof over
its head,
to shield it from the rain to come.
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pollosky-in-blue · 1 year
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"3 out of 7? I mean come on, it's obvious" "No you're just delusional forreal" https://www.instagram.com/p/CpERAEUS96s/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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pollosky-in-blue · 1 year
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Oh Panacea
Oh Panacea, Graceful rain
Bring over your fragile face
Let down the ropes
And hang in the gallows all my pain
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