What’s That?
Steve Harrington x reader. Past Steve/Reader/Eddie
Your daughter wants to know the meaning of yours and Steve’s tattoos. For the sake of this and Eddie’s death having MEANING they killed Vecna before he could get Max and open the gates. It’s six years later. You and Steve have two kids. They’re five and two.
I cried while writing some of the dialogue oops
After what happened in the Upside Down, and Eddie dying. You and Steve stayed in Hawkins for a little while, not long. You, Eddie, and Steve had gotten close in the year leading up to Vecna, you and Eddie already being a couple and bringing Steve in once realizing the feelings you both harbored for him.
When Eddie died, it basically killed you, you and Dustin watching as Eddie was attacked by the demobats, Dustin having to keep you from running to him, despite wanting to go just as bad as you.
You tried, of course, to stay, be there for your friends’ in their own time of grieving. Unfortunately, it all became too much rather quickly for you, you’d become more prone to panic attacks and random breakdowns over Eddie or even something simple like your toast was too hard. It didn’t help you couldn’t turn a corner for the first few weeks without seeing a vandalized missing poster of Eddie that Wayne had put up. Everything made you think of Eddie, and after much convincing from Steve, the two of you packed up and had a very tearful goodbye before leaving Hawkins.
You and Steve did what the three of you had always ‘joked’ about. Six kids, a house by the beach, in the fantasy, it was the three of you, with three perfect babies from each perfect boyfriend. The reality, though, would just be you and Steve, and as perfect as that was, you often wished Eddie was there, wishing he could get and give the love he desperately craved, and deserved.
“Mama?” The soft voice of your oldest daughter pulled you from your thoughts, you blinked rapidly and looked down at your book, long forgotten, before looking down at your daughter, Steve’s dark brown hair matched perfectly with your eyes and, unfortunately for the poor little thing, Steve’s nose. “Yes, my love?” You asked softly, closing your book slowly with your finger still in it to hold your place, though you doubted you’d go back to reading it.
“What’s that..?” You watched as her little finger came up and poked the tattoo on your arm, your eyes fell to it and you took a deep breath, hand curling around the arm wrest of your beach chair. “You and daddy have the same one.” She looked up at you, that same sweet, innocent look that’s always there, unaware of the memory she’d plagued you with, the hurt that now loomed in your chest from such a simple question.
“Well…” you cleared your throat and straightened up when your voice cracked, shifting a little and taking a deep breath. “Me and daddy had…. A very… very special friend.” You said softly, your thumb running over the tattoo, a gorgeous design of your initial, an S, and an E all twisted and twined together. Eddie’d drawn it, adding onto what was originally an idea for the two of you, he added the S almost immediately.
“His name was Eddie.” You licked your lips slowly, brows furrowing. “Like the one Ed is named after? Daddy told me about him.” Your eyes turned up and you felt your heart rug at the idea of Steve sitting down with Jamie, something Eddie had insisted he name one of his daughters, proclaiming his love for the Van Halen song, and telling her about the final puzzle piece that was missing from your lives. You and Steve didn’t even have think about what you were going to name her when you’d found out you were pregnant, you’d both instantly gravitated towards Jamie.
“Did he?” You asked softly, watching as her little head nodded. “What did he tell you?” You asked, moving your book to pull her into your lap and out of the sand she was playing in. “He said that…” she hesitated, likely gathering her words, though smart for six years old she still had a little trouble speaking and articulating. “That you both loved him a lot… but when I asked him how you both loved him and eachother… and he told me to ask you.” She tilted her head a little.
You nodded along to what she was saying, encouraging her when she would slow down to say the words better, or conjure them up, you weren’t quite sure. “Well…” you shifted her to make her more comfortable. “It might be hard for you to understand, because you’re so cute and little.” You tickled her side lightly, smiling when she squealed and giggled. “But.. I was dating Eddie first, you know what that is, right?” She nodded slowly. “It’s what you do before you get married.” You laughed lightly and nodded, your chest tightening a little as you took a deep breath.
“Me and Eddie were dating, and we talked to eachother, and realized that we liked daddy as much as we liked eachother, lucky for us, daddy felt the same way.” You explained, going slow so she could catch every word. “So… daddy likes boys? And girls?” She asked curiously. Your mouth opened and closed, huh, you and Steve hadn’t really had that conversation, honestly you couldn’t see bringing another person in again, no one could replace Eddie, or even fill the space.
“Well, we aren’t sure. I think it was just Eddie.” You nodded. “… I have some pictures. You wanna see?” You asked softly. Jamie immediately nodded and you stood up, holding her on your hip and continuing your story. “When daddy turned 21, me and Eddie showed him this design Eddie had been drawing.. and we went and got it tattooed that day.” You smiled at the memory, you and Eddie laughing fondly as Steve’s eyes squeezed shut while the needle punched his skin.
“Daddy cried a lot.” You said softly. “I did not!” Steve disagreed, walking into the room with your song hanging by one foot, upside down and giggling like crazy. “You did so! Can you please lift our son before he gets brain damage?” You laughed, chuckling a small stuff animal at him that Jamie had brought into your room earlier.
“Alright alright.” Steve chuckled and laid little Eddie on the bed next to Jamie. “I’m trying to get the box” you said softly when he came behind your struggling figure, fingertips barely brushing the box in your ridiculously tall closet. “I got it.” He kissed the top of your head.
You smiled and kissed his cheek before going to sit with your kids, pulling Ed into your lap as Steve came over and sat beside Jamie with the box, the girl sandwiched between the two of you as he opened it, put a few pictures away in your nightstand, and then gave the box to Jamie. “Be very careful.” He said softly.
Although the box was small, it was packed nearly to the brim with anything related to Eddie, his rings resting on your dresser rather than tucked away. The box held songs Eddie had written but not gotten the chance to fully compose, letters he’d written, things he’d drawn, and most of all, Polaroids.
Jamie, natural, was drawn to the pictures, looking at them curiously with wide eyes, practically mirroring a look Steve hadn’t seen on your face in a while. “He was pretty.” Jamie spoke after a while, staring at a picture of Eddie with his tongue out and eyes wide open. You laughed softly and nodded, wiping your eye. “Yeah. He was.” You said softly. “Y’know, he picked your name. A looong time ago.” You ran your fingers through her beach matted hair.
“He did?” She looked up at you curiously. “Mhm. After a song he liked.” You smiled softly and kissed her forehead gently. “Why isn’t he here anymore?” Jamie asked, looking down at a Polaroid of the three of you now, you sandwiched between Steve and Eddie, a wide toothy smile on all three of your faces, Steve’s eyes red and puffy. The day you got the tattoos.
You couldn’t find the words, sure, you knew them but… saying them always hurt, even after so long, it hurt a little less each time, the memories slowly becoming less painful and more fond, but there was always that thickness, that pull at your chest whenever you had to say them, or even think them.
Luckily, Steve reached out and laid a hand on your shoulder, grounding you as tears started to fill your eyes before he spoke. “Well… he got really hurt one day.” He spoke softly, and you knew that as much as it hurt you to say them, it hurt Steve, and you couldn’t be more grateful he’d decided to take the hit and not you. “To save mama, and me, and all our friends and family back at Hawkins.” His voice cracked at the end of his sentence before he continued, clearing his throat. “And he really, really wanted to be here, Princess.” He said softly. “He’d love you to death.” He kissed her forehead gently.
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You laid in bed with Steve later that night, Jamie absolutely demanding to keep a picture of the two of you with Eddie, which you let her of course. The room was quiet, the very distant sound of the waves on the beach the only thing making any noise aside from your breathing, until you finally spoke up.
“I miss him.” You whispered into the dark, you’d been crying silently for probably ten minutes now, silent tears sliding down your cheeks, quickly wiped away when Steve came in and curled up to you in bed. “Me too.” Steve’s voice came a few seconds later and you dug your teeth into your bottom lip.
“… do you dream about him?” You asked, hesitating before tilting your head to where he’d been laying on your chest, a habit you’d gotten into. “… a lot. Yeah.” Steve nodded and turned his head to look at you, looking between your eyes in the dark. “Do you?”
You nodded and looked back up at the ceiling. “… I feel bad sometimes.” You mumbled, frowning deeply. “Like… it’s wrong for me to wish for more when we already have so much.”
Steve frowned. “Y/N…” he whispered, hand coming up to cup your cheek, you closed your eyes and leaned into his hand, lip quivering. “You shouldn’t feel bad. I understand.” He ran his thumb over your cheek slowly. “Eddie was your first everything… my first gay everything.” You laughed and nudged him. “I’m trying to be serious.” You whispered. “I know.” Steve sat up a little more and cupped your cheeks. “And so am I.” He said firmly. “Don’t feel bad for wishing he was here. I wish he was here all the time.” You caught a tear when it started to fall from his eye.
“And I know. As much as you love me. Eddie’s always gonna have a special place in there, and I’m cool with that.” Steve smiled softly. “Same way with me. You both… meant and mean so much to me.” He whispered, kissing you softly. “Eddie was one of a kind, Y/N. Don’t feel bad for wishing he had the life he deserved to have.”
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