psychonyashki

[psychonyashki]

I’m gonna KILL MYSELF RGRGRGHRGRHRGHRGRHRG KILL DIE DIE DIE I AM GOING TO DO ITTTT soon one day hopefully BUT I WILLLLLL I PROMISE AND IT WILL BE SO FUNNNNN AND EVERYONE WILL BE HAPPY OR MISERABLE IDC BEATS YOU TO DEATH WITH A BAT

#MEOW MEOW MEOWWWWWW #tw suicide

[psychonyashki]

its a bold as hell move to leave my suicidal ass home alone with a BIG FUCKING KNIFE

#i am looking at it respectfully

[psychonyashki]

'suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem'

I think it's past temporary when I've felt the same for 10 years now

[psychonyashki]

Nobody ever talks about how selfless it is to choose, over and over again, to not commit suicide. Nobody ever acknowledges the tremendous sacrifice suicidal people make every time we choose not to kill ourselves. When a person who is suffering so horribly that death seems like their best option decides not to take their one way out, and to instead remain in hell, day after day, month after month, year after year, because they don’t want to hurt the people they love, they are doing something extraordinary. Not killing yourself when it’s all you want to do is the purest act of love I can imagine. Dying for someone is easy - you don’t have to deal with any of the consequences, you have your moment of nobility and then it’s all over. But living for someone, when the simple fact of consciousness is literal torture for you? Every single suicidal person who ever made a choice to not kill themselves in a moment of misery is a goddamn hero in my eyes. Wanting to die and still surviving is an act of titanic courage and self-sacrifice. We deserve more credit for it.

[psychonyashki]

i can’t do it anymore. i just want to give up on everything. i have nothing left to give.

[psychonyashki]

"And the sad part is I was getting better.

And now I'm not"

[psychonyashki]

the state of petpl4y on tumblr rn SUCKS. it’s all “puppygirl” this and “dogboy” that. WHERE IS THE LOVE FOR MY CATBOYS/CATGIRLS/NYANBINARIES. WHERE IS THE LOVE FOR ME. I AM THE KITTY AND I AM FEELING VERY UNLOVED :(

#what am i supposed to do in these conditions….. smh dogs getting all the love #i am LITERALLY such a cute cat but everyone only wants puppies :( #i am meowing so sadly #i am in a little box in the rain and im looking at you with sad eyes #i am soaking wet (in more ways than one) #meows at you MEOWS AT YOU #this post in unserious btw im just sad there’s no content that pertains to my taste… lol #nsft #petpl4y #trans nsft #kittyplay

[psychonyashki]

i neeeeeed to ramble about my toxic problemtique ocs BUT I CANT…. HEAVENS……

[psychonyashki]

for some reason reading violent love posts on tumblr gives me the ick but then in my own head I’m like “and then he<3 cracks my skull open<3”

#no one will ever appease me except myself #alas

[psychonyashki]

no one makes the genre of violent love posts I wanna see… I think I’m too bananas even for this side of the internet

#maybe I’m just cooler #slash jay

[psychonyashki]

my brother took the gaming PC from me which means I’m so bored I need to start insane posting on tumblr

#as one does #without h0nkai st4r r4il i am nothing theres nothing to do without my anime game #game is censored so it doesn’t show up in tags…

[psychonyashki]

I dont think my friend liked him that much :(

making an oc that expresses love through violent abuse that’s also together with my sona BUT I CAN’T SHARE THAT WITH ANYONE BECAUSE ITS INSANE

[psychonyashki]

Getting beaten an inch away from death by the person i love most is such a cute idea. Hope this happens one day

[psychonyashki]

making an oc that expresses love through violent abuse that’s also together with my sona BUT I CAN’T SHARE THAT WITH ANYONE BECAUSE ITS INSANE

#its the only way he knows how to express love… can you blame him…. #(yes you can) #my sona is not a good person but they’re a pretty naive idiot in the grand scheme of things #quite easy to manipulate

[psychonyashki]

Am I the only one who thinks that having my head slammed against a wall or floor until my skull cracks would feel. really good. better than nutting tbh

#LIKE MY SKULL CRACKING OPEN… RELEASING MY BRAIN AND ALL MY THOUGHTS….. MY HEAD THATS SO FULL OF JUNK…. #FINALLY FREE FROM ALL THATS WEIGHING MY HEAD DOWN…. THE RELEASE AND FREEDOM WOULD FEEL AMAZING IM TELLING YOU #TRUST ME #violent love #actually bpd #bpd vent #gore tw

[psychonyashki]

I wish I was a monster disguised as a human who was stalking a cute human boy, waiting for the chance to do something to him or steal him away, but when I finally get my chance he reveals that he knew what I was and my intentions the whole time. He knocks me out and I wake up in his basement, where he abuses me for his own enjoyment everyday and keeps me too weak to do anything, even though I’m a monster, I’m helpless against him. He’s sadistic and uses me as a pleasurable toy, if I fight back too much he’ll just cut my limbs and tentacles off, and he’s always slamming my head against the wall or ground. And I’ll be his beloved abusable monster pet forever and ever<3

#truly the ideal life #yancore #yanblr #yandere #bpd #bpd vent #actually ocd #actually bpd #obsessive love #violent love

[psychonyashki]

anyone wanna force me to be a constant victim and they’ll train me to always be perfectly weak and helpless so I can finally be a sweet innocent flawless victim who gets so much sympathy from my abuser for all the stuff they put me through

#please please pleeeaaaase I want to be the ideal victim everyone else seems to somehow be #stop me from being dangerous and just force me to be good #by drugging me and making me too weak to do anything else #cut my fucking limbs off for christ sake #I can be a good victim #pleeeaaaase let me prove that I can be the best victim you’ll ever see #i can be perfect I will be the perfect ideal i will be so helpless #i can be helpless i just want to be helpless