qandgay

[qandgay]

happy tdov my loves. don't let anyone else define your transness for you.

help trans women evacuate gaza

[qandgay]

these pics i took came out really good!! :0 pride flag dragon enamel pins on my etsy!

[qandgay]

i've made this post before but it bares repeating. it's always so wild to see young trans kids be like "oh i'm 18 it's too late for me" and more importantly seeing that being like, pushed from other trans people bc when i came out at 15 back in 2009, literally What You Did was just. wait to turn 18 so you could move to a major city and start transitioning. i got on hormones at 23 (nhs waitlists) and top surgery right before my 25th birthday. i consider myself a pretty early transitioner. i'm 30 now and i still experience changes from my hormones bc that's what it is to exist as a human and have hormones in your body. you're fine.

[qandgay]

“afab chests aren’t inherently sexu—” please say breasts please just say breasts please please please stop throwing the term “afab” around say tatas say titties say big bahoona bazingoroos if you must

[qandgay]

[qandgay]

Nonbinary AMAB people I love you so much. I'm sorry everyone acts like you're "basically just a trans woman" if you're feminine and then gets confused when you tell them you're not a woman, or else treats you like you don't exist at all if you're masc or fluid. I love you and I see you.

[qandgay]

The original pride flag and the sewing machine it was sewn on

[qandgay]

I forget why, but I was on the Wikipedia page for polycystic ovarian syndrome, and I started researching hirsutism in women, and I learned the following things in this order:

there's a diagnostic criteria used to evaluate how hairy a woman is

This is important because being too hairy is a diagnostic criteria of most disorders that cause hyperandrogenism

Disorders that cause hyperandrogenism can be diagnosed by...measuring how hairy you are (this is the main and most important diagnostic criterion for PCOS)

Disorders that cause hyperandrogenism are important because they are correlated with obesity, infertility, and...being too hairy?

I think to myself, wait, what is a normal range for testosterone in women? I find this article...which set reference ranges for "normal" testosterone levels in women...EXCLUDING WOMEN WITH PCOS?

Quote: "Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is another notable condition in genetic (XX) females, which is characterized by excessive ovarian production of androgens. This condition is included for comparison with DSD, as the affected females with PCOS are genetic and phenotypic females. The elevated levels of testosterone in these females can lead to hyperandrogenism, a clinical disorder characterized variably by hirsutism, acne, male-pattern balding, metabolic disturbances, impaired ovulation and infertility. PCOS is a common condition, affecting 7%-10% of premenopausal women."

So: the study claims to demonstrate a clear distinction between the normal range of hormone levels in "Healthy" men and "healthy" women...with "healthy" being defined in the study as...having hormones within the "normal" range.......................

So I researched what the clinically established "normal" range for testosterone in women is

THERE ISN'T ONE????

Quote from the above article: "Several different approaches have been used to define endocrine disorders. The statistical approach establishes the lower and the upper limits of hormone concentrations solely on the basis of the statistical distribution of hormone levels in a healthy reference population. As an illustration, hypo- and hypercalcemia have been defined on the basis of the statistical distribution of serum calcium concentrations. Using this approach, androgen deficiency could be defined as the occurrence of serum testosterone levels that are below the 97.5th percentile of testosterone levels in healthy population of young men. A second approach is to use a threshold hormone concentration below or above which there is high risk of developing adverse health outcomes. This approach has been used to define osteoporosis and hypercholesterolemia. However, we do not know with certainty the thresholds of testosterone levels which are associated with adverse health outcomes."

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

It's batshit crazy to make a diagnostic criteria for medical disorders by placing arbitrary cutoffs within 2-5% of either end of a statistical distribution. What the actual fuck?

"The results came back, you have Statistical Outlier Disease." "What treatments are available?" "Well, first, we recommend dietary change. You should probably stop eating so many spiders."

Another article which attempted to do this

Quote: "Subjects with signs of hirsutism or with a personal history of diabetes or hypertension, or a family history of polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) were excluded."

"We're going to figure out the typical range of testosterone levels that occur in women! First, we're going to exclude all the women that are too hairy from the study. I am very good at science."

Anyway I got off topic but there are apparently race-specific diagnostic tools for "hirsutism." That's kinda weird on its own but when I looked more into this in relation to race I found this article that straight-up uses the term "mongoloid"

[qandgay]

What are some things about gay sex everyone should know?

Not everyone has defined top or bottom roles.

Condoms are just as important for gay couples as they are for straight ones

When you first start bottoming, it feels like you have to take a massive dump.

Depending on the top, bottoming can make you very, very gassy.

Sometimes if you were at the bottom while barebacking (sex without a condom) you shart some lube and semen.

Sometimes after sex, if the top uses too much lube (very rarely an issue) you end up pooping blobs of lube after sex.

It's ok to tell your partner it's your first time.

Breeding is more psychological than physical

A penis tastes about the same as a finger, in terms of texture and stuff.

Always try to poop beforehand if you know you're going to have sex soon

For the love of god, mind your teeth when you're sucking him off.

Lightly play with the opening of the penis with your tongue

Pee after sex.

If something hurts, STOP. Don't power through it. Pain is your body's way of saying something is injuring you. Pain = Stop, slow down, readjust.

If you want to be a pro-ass eater, don't just lick his hole, make out with it.

Don't just go in and start choking them

If you want to be a good top, you're going to have to bottom a few times

Use more lube than you think is necessary

Getting STD tests is always a good idea whenever you get a new partner

Consent is key and can be revoked at any point in time.

Gay sex doesn’t create HIV out of thin air.

#q and gay adjacent #sex #gay sex #sex education #tops #bottoms #condoms #safe sex #std

[qandgay]

I’m bisexual/queer and genderqueer (she/they, femme) and I wanna call myself a faggot or a dyke, as they’re pretty affirming for me. But a part of me feels uneasy calling myself such since I’m not strictly gay or lesbian. Thoughts? :)

i think you can do whatever you want forever

in all seriousness, as long as you feel comfortable using these words, you should! in my humble opinion, nobody can tell you what you can or can't reclaim for yourself. nobody is gonna check your identity before calling you a slur, you know?

i identified as a gay man for a long time. now i have a girlfriend, and my attraction to her is queer even though im a man. we call each other fagdykes and dykefags and joke around. it's a very queer relationship despite being "straight passing" on paper.

tldr: if they're affirming, do it!

#mod hollow #q and gay #bisexual #bi #queer #genderqueer #hey everyone! 👋 im gonna try and answer things occasionally on here again! #thanks for your ongoing support

[qandgay]

Y'ALL THAILAND APPROVED SAME SEX MARRIAGE AS OF 7 HOURS AGO!!!!!!!

[qandgay]

Might actually cry a little bit (in a good way) - the new bill that just passed here in Minnesota granting paid medical leave to people caring for sick family members has such an intentionally expansive definition of "family" that biological and/or legal ties are not actually a prerequisite to qualify for the program. In fact, there's a portion of the bill that specifies anyone designated as family by the incapacitated party can receive the benefits.

Apparently this was done in part to make the policy as inclusive as possible of queer family structures and I am absolutely floored; as someone with a seriously chronically ill queerplatonic partner I worry a lot about my options as a primary caretaker, seeing as the fact that we are not legal partners bars us from so many other benefits, but the fact that this particular one would be inclusive of us (and poly partners, and single queer people with no ties to their biological family but close friends willing to help them out, etc) has given me more hope that may change someday than I think anything ever has.

This is how you do policy that benefits the entire queer community, including poly, ace, and aro folks for whom same-sex marriage has never offered the same legal rights (and plenty of other folks besides, like disabled people or people with terrible biological families -- you don't have to be LGBTQA+ for it to be a seriously important option). This is genuinely incredible. I was excited to see this pass even without knowing it would potentially apply to me, too, but now I'm a total grateful, emotional mess.

#minnesota #usa centric

[qandgay]

Preview of Sam Long’s story, drawn by the amazing Cynthia Yuan Cheng! (@cynthiaycheng, cynthiaycheng.com)

Becoming Who We Are Kickstarter ends Dec 14! Preorder now to help us fund the book!

bit.ly/becomingkickstarter

#not a q and gay

[qandgay]

I had a question, if it's alright to ask it here?

So, I'm trans, I've been out for years and have managed to wrangle my gender enough to alleviate any of my worst dysphoria. I tend to forget that I'm trans in the sense that I'm so used to my current gender I forget it was ever different.

There's just one thing that still bothers me- I have a really strong reaction to hearing my deadname, in any context. I get disgusted and freaked out really easily by it. Hearing it in a song, or as a character's name, or even just in passing. I've been trying for years to fix this- I can't exactly go around saying just hearing a specific name is one of my triggers, especially if I meet another trans person who's chosen that name. It's not fair of me to ask of other people to make them just stop saying it around me, I can't take someone else's name away.

I've tried doing whatever I could to sort of exposure-therapy my way into being more comfortable hearing it, like by watching youtubers with that name, but even after months I still flinch. Do you have any tips for ways I could try to make this any better?

honestly this may be a case of addressing the trauma that you have with your deadname rather than the name itself. was it the people using it? was it what it represented? find what you hated most about it and confront it head-on, if you're able to do so safely!

#q and gay #transgender #mod hollow #deadname #chosen name

[qandgay]

An informational comic I illustrated for my comics 2 class about drag!

[qandgay]

i was talking to my grandma this morning about how the holidays are really hard as the only single adult at the table, and i really appreciated my grandma’s understanding she agreed that it’s hard and said “you live in a couple’s world”

it’s so true and we talk about it all the time as the aromantic community but to hear my 83 year old grandma affirm me like that made me feel really seen

[qandgay]

I drew some pride chameleons! (Thanks to @serpentski for the suggestion!)

(No reposting! Reblogging is always appreciated though!)