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saturnskiesss · 7 months

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𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖. . .!

— a my hero academia oneshot ✧ ೃ༄

©saturnskiesss - 2023

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“so, tell me when you're gonna let me in

i’m getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin.”

— keane

pairings : bakugou katsuki x midoriya izuku

warnings : angst. s***cide implied.

If you asked bakugou katsuki what he wanted the most in middle school, he probably would’ve laughed and stated - quite egotistically - that he was going to become the number one hero. If you asked him what he wanted most in the present day?

to turn back time.

to turn back time to that day.

the day bakugou katsuki lost his number one fan. his most cherished follower. his best friend. not that he would’ve admitted that in middle school, at least.

everyday, within the walls of Aldera Middle, it was a constant reminder of what katsuki lost. A reminder of a person who should’ve been there. A sickening reminder that midoriya izuku was dead.

A reminder that bakugou katsuki had murdered someone. not directly, at least. but still.

At first, katsuki didn’t believe that deku was dead. he refused to believe it. the nerd was the most cheerful person he knew. always smiling, always radiating happiness. always a reminder that katsuki was inferior to him. how else would the ash blonde compete with the nerd? despite deku not having a quirk, he seemed to always outshine katsuki in different ways.

even that damned nickname stirred something, down deep, within the explosive boy. kacchan.

when the nerd didn’t get up, his face plastered in an everlasting smile. katsuki knew deku - no izuku was gone. and he contributed to it.

what good hero material katsuki was. he remembered the tears falling from his crimson eyes, tears that he didn’t will to happen. they just did. he remembered falling to his knees and clasping the greenette in his arms. he remembered screaming for help, despite it not helping. all he remembered was the sobs that left him as he clutched the boy to his chest. vermillion staining his uniform, emerald eyes staring into ruby ones.

when help finally did arrive, katsuki refused to let go of de - izuku, blaming himself. blaming himself for something he aided in. he remembered the teachers yelling at students as they neared closer, phones out and lights flashing. he remembered the two extras who he hung out with almost snickering, almost thankful that a thorn in their side was gone. thankful that the quirkless nobody from their class was gone.

katsuki remembered falling into an explosive rage, screaming and cursing at them while explosions popped from his wrists. veins and blood ablaze with anger and agony.

he remembered the day all too well.

he told himself that he would visit the grave of his deceased friend three times a week. that’s what he owed to the nerd. the bakugou family turned up to the funeral and katsuki almost began to cry when he saw his auntie’s tear streaked face. midoriya inko looked like she was on the verge of breaking down. the bakugou’s hugged the green haired woman and katsuki hugged her the tightest. the woman was the only living person that tethered izuku’s memory into the ash blondes brain.

“I’m sorry.”

he had said, refusing to cry. he wouldn’t cry in front of his friends mother. he just couldn’t.

“it’s not your fault, katsuki. if anyone’s to blame, it’s society.”

inko had responded and without warning, katsuki cried for the second time in his middle school life. partly because he knew what she said was true, society really was about survival of the fittest. those who had strong quirks reigned above those with weaker or without a quirk.

if katsuki could give away his quirk, he would. he didn’t deserve it. not after izuku.

katsuki treasured everything that his auntie gave him, from the all might merch to the thirteen notebooks - yes, including the one he burned. he never knew why he set an explosive off on the material, but jealousy was definitely there. what the nerd lacked in strength was made up by wits and intelligence. every night, without fail, katsuki would read the charred page that his friend left him. he used it to expand his quirk’s knowledge and one day, he decided to rewrite everything down.

izuku’s death really did change him. for the better at least.

at school, katsuki snarled and threatened an explosion and those who dared mock izuku. he demanded that the headteacher set up a shrine of sorts, a demand that the teacher didn’t comply too until katsuki threatened he would tear the school to the ground.

that was how the mini shrine of midoriya izuku was created. everyday, katsuki would place a new flower down and would furiously scrub off the graffiti and spider lilies that dotted the shrine. how dare someone vandalise what katsuki had created.

yes izuku’s death did spark more anger within katsuki, but it was anger at society and those who he previously hung with. if it wasn’t for the memory of izuku, he probably would’ve turned to the dark side. it was only the memory of izuku that kept him sane.

“kacchan! we’ll still be the best heroes in the future won’t we?”

mini izuku cheerfully stated in the memory. mini katsuki laughed and puffed out his chest.

“duh of course! I’ll be the next number one and you can be my side kick!”

that memory occurred only a week before the dreaded news that izuku was quirkless. a week before katsuki gained a superiority complex. a week before everything changed between the two.

here katsuki stood. his head bowed as he read the name on the gravestone. etched deeply into the stone.

midoriya izuku.

beloved friend and son.

an enigma.

an enigma izuku was.

katsuki sat down, placing izuku’s tattered notebook down, and a small smile graced his face. or as much of a smile that the boy could muster.

“hey, izuku. it’s me again. your probably tired of listening to me talk everyday, but yknow what? I don’t give a shit.”

katsuki began, his voice hollow. gone was the aggressiveness that once took ahold of katsuki.

he looked at the flowers on the grave before he gently rubbed the notebooks cover, before he spoke once more.

“I managed to get the park renovated. the one we loved and always went too as children. you remember it right? if not, it was the one with the yellow slide and those cool as fuck swings. the ones you somehow managed to slide out of.”

the ash blonde laughed quietly, the only sound in the deserted graveyard.

“I miss you, izuku. school just isn’t the same without you. I miss your annoying ramblings. I miss your analysis. I mean, I’ve tried to replicate it but it’s failing. it’s probably because I don’t have your einstein brain.”

two tears fell onto the ground below katsuki. two more slowly followed before katsuki rubbed his eyes and sighed, looking up at the starry night.

“I hope, wherever you are, that you know I’m sorry. I bullied you because I wanted to protect you.” he then bitterly mumbled something. “also because I constantly thought you were better than me.”

he leaned forward and gently brushed his finger across the stone.

“you changed me, izuku. I want you to know that. I have to go early today, that jackass teacher has set a shit ton of homework. goodbye, I’ll see you soon okay?”

with a sharp inhale, katsuki stood up and picked up the notebook, clutching it like a lifeline to his chest. he then began to walk away, the tears already spiking his eyes like vengeance.

with a final look back, he turned his head and said three words that he had never said before.

“I love you.”

with that, the boy walked out of the graveyard. a strange feeling being lifted off his chest. what he didn’t know was that someone watched him. was always watching him with a smile on his face.

sitting beside the grave, a ghostly apparition of midoriya izuku hovered. wispy tears falling from his eyes. he watched his friend disappear and after those three words, izuku stood up. he stared longingly at the place where his friend sat.

with a small smile in the direction that the boy walked, izuku placed a hand on his non-corporeal body.

“I love you too, kacchan. I hope one day we can go back to the place where only we know.”

╰─▸ ❝ @saturnskiesss has logged off. . .

#bakudeku #angst #bakugou katsuki #izuku midoriya #my hero academia #ghost

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