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serenitys-things · 4 years
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I am standing on the ashes of what is me
Me- the person, my ambitions, expectations, assumptions, entitlements
And I am saying, have thine own way Lord, have thine own way.
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serenitys-things · 4 years
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People are looking for ears,
That will listen,
Without pronouncing a judgement.
Do you have those ears?
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serenitys-things · 4 years
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Regrets. There is nothing as emotiomally paralysing as living in regret. Regret for wrong decisions made, regret for chances lost.. I don't know if there is an emotion more tormenting for the soul.
But, is it possible to approach your midlife with no regrets? Is it possible to look back at your life at whatever stage, and be confident that you have taken all the correct turns and missed out on nothing? I don't know, yet I have heard some people, some of them my friends, say with confidence that they are living with no regrets.
Well, what else can I do except marvel at their good fortune.
As for myself, I have many regrets. Regrets that gnaw at my soul driving me to the brink of depression. Some are as petty as chosing not to join the piano class when lessons were offered at no extra cost back in my school days, to deeper, more heart wrenching personal decisions I made over the years.
Growing up, mum was a firm believer in God, Jesus Christ and Biblical principles. Mum taught us to pray and read the Bible. Mum instilled in my siblings and I virtues of hard work and honesty. Throughout my adolescence I gravitated towards Christianity, making every effort to live a life that reflected Christ and salvation from sin. Of course like many a teenager, I would from time to time succumb to the pleasures of the world and "abandon" my Christianity. But somehow, sooner than later, I would always find my way back into the Christian fold. (Proverbs 22:6- Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.)
My Christian faith grew in my 20s, propelled by a strong college Christian Union and a charismatic home church.
With this Christian background I wonder why I went wrong. The biggest regrets I have are decisions I made while living and practicing my Christian faith. I wonder why God allowed me to take the wrong path. (Jeremiah 29: 11 - For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.)
When I look at my present I feel like there is so much missing that is a result of my bad choices. I don't feel like I am living through God's plans to prosper me, plans that give me hope and a future. Is this hope and future for life here on earth or for eternity?
Truly, I feel my life is a pale shadow of all I ever longed and hoped for. Things that I had capacity to achieve but foolishly(?) took the wrong turn along the road of my life.
It is pointless to cry over spilt milk. I need to find my focus. I need to find the courage to move on. I need to find a way to insulate my heart and soul from the fruit of regret - bitterness and depression..
Lord, there is so much I don't understand but I pray that through your Holy Spirit you will deliver me from this pit and restore me and my faith in You. Restore to my the joy of your salvation. Grant me the peace that passes all understanding.
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serenitys-things · 4 years
Text
It is a brand new day. A new day should mean brand new beginnings. I can choose to leave yesterday's failures and disappointments in the past.
God give me the courage to start afresh. Or at least give me the strength and wisdom to let go of the past. I pray for supernatural ability to be able to look at people without the influence of yesterday's hurts and disappointments. Only then can I be emotionally free.
0 notes
serenitys-things · 4 years
Text
Regrets. There is nothing as emotiomally paralysing as living in regret. Regret for wrong decisions made, regret for chances lost.. I don't know if there is an emotion more tormenting for the soul.
But, is it possible to approach your midlife with no regrets? Is it possible to look back at your life at whatever stage, and be confident that you have taken all the correct turns and missed out on nothing? I don't know, yet I have heard some people, some of them my friends, say with confidence that they are living with no regrets.
Well, what else can I do except marvel at their good fortune.
As for myself, I have many regrets. Regrets that gnaw at my soul driving me to the brink of depression. Some are as petty as chosing not to join the piano class when lessons were offered at no extra cost back in my school days, to deeper, more heart wrenching personal decisions I made over the years.
Growing up, mum was a firm believer in God, Jesus Christ and Biblical principles. Mum taught us to pray and read the Bible. Mum instilled in my siblings and I virtues of hard work and honesty. Throughout my adolescence I gravitated towards Christianity, making every effort to live a life that reflected Christ and salvation from sin. Of course like many a teenager, I would from time to time succumb to the pleasures of the world and "abandon" my Christianity. But somehow, sooner than later, I would always find my way back into the Christian fold. (Proverbs 22:6- Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.)
My Christian faith grew in my 20s, propelled by a strong college Christian Union and a charismatic home church.
With this Christian background I wonder why I went wrong. The biggest regrets I have are decisions I made while living and practicing my Christian faith. I wonder why God allowed me to take the wrong path. (Jeremiah 29: 11 - For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.)
When I look at my present I feel like there is so much missing that is a result of my bad choices. I don't feel like I am living through God's plans to prosper me, plans that give me hope and a future. Is this hope and future for life here on earth or for eternity?
Truly, I feel my life is a pale shadow of all I ever longed and hoped for. Things that I had capacity to achieve but foolishly(?) took the wrong turn along the road of my life.
It is pointless to cry over spilt milk. I need to find my focus. I need to find the courage to move on. I need to find a way to insulate my heart and soul from the fruit of regret - bitterness and depression..
Lord, there is so much I don't understand but I pray that through your Holy Spirit you will deliver me from this pit and restore me and my faith in You. Restore to my the joy of your salvation. Grant me the peace that passes all understanding.
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