shy-urban-hobbit

[shy-urban-hobbit]

By the time they're finished, she's just pulling regular kid pranks like putting salt in their coffee. Apart from Frank; she 'accidentally' leaves a container of rat poison by his cup and just gives him innocent face when he tries to interrogate her about wtf she's put in his coffee and refuses to drink it (spoiler: she's done jack shit to his coffee. He's just a paranoid dick and it's fun to mess with him).

@witchy-weve-monbebe okay but imagine a what if scenario where Frank, Joey, Peter and Sammy (I lowkey forgot what their actual names are 💀) escape and take Abigail with them

Frank 100% hated the fact that there was no money involved. That they all got screwed with and fuck it if he isn’t gonna stick it to Lazar and just take his kid. What does it matter at this point? (Let’s ignore that Lambert was there and called Lazar back)

Joey just wants to protect the girl despite her being a vampire and also because it’s another excuse to avoid going back to her son (not because she wants to but it’s like in the movie: she’s afraid she’s gonna be a shit mom)

Sammy of course joins for the ride just to see how it would play out and convinces Peter to join her in watching it all fall apart

Abigail is definitely an unwilling participant in terms to being a “hostage” but her attempts at killing them lower in intensity the more she spends time with them

(Also I think it’s be lowkey funny that Frank is the only one to really have beef with a 12 year old the more time they all spend together)

#Abigail #abigail 2024

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Kaer Morhen family moments I would have to draw if I had any artistic talent whatsoever

Vesemir leaves the little witchers inside the keep while he deals with the dead. One by one, they come out anyway and quietly help him collect medallions from the fallen wolves.

Little Geralt getting a ride on Vesemir's big black charger. Vesemir walks him round the castle grounds for like an hour.. Geralt talks about nothing but horses for days. Vesemir has created a monster.

Geralt teaching Ciri how to groom Roach, because Roach is "a good listener". It's therapeutic, and she can tell Roach about everyone she misses from Cintra. Scorpion sticks his head over the stall wall to investigate so she does him too.

Vesemir taking young Eskel with him to feed the goats and like, they're a resource to him, he uses them for milk and meat, but Eskel is just a kid and he wants to pet and play with them, and Vesemir just sort of lets him because it's the first time he's actually seen Eskel laugh.

Eskel showing Ciri how to bottle-feed Lil Bleater

Vesemir with a yowling, scrabbling Lambert in a headlock, trying to drag a brush through a matted mop of curls. There are grotty, bath-averse prepubescent boys, and then there's this asshole.

Lambert showing up to dinner with his hair nicely braided back off his face courtesy of Ciri, because he's sorry he was an arsehole about all her girly shit. He snaps at Geralt and Coen to fuck off you whoresons for looking at him sideways, and Triss gets a grumpy don't gimme that look, merigold, but he doesn't take the braids out.

Vesemir letting the wolf pups try to lift his sword. It weighs more than they do. They're just about managing it between them. This probably counts as teaching them teamwork, right?

Ciri gleefully waving Geralt's sword over her head, because she told him she could do it, she knew it wouldn't be too heavy. Geralt raises an eyebrow over Ciri's shoulder at Yennefer, who's holding the sword up with magic and only sort of trying to look a little bit guilty about it.

Vesemir draping his cloak over the dogpile of baby witchers fast asleep in front of the campfire, before he decides it's safe enough to take them back to Kaer Morhen.

Vesemir many decades later, draping a blanket over Geralt, asleep with his head tilted back against the couch and an illustrated bestiary open on his lap, and Ciri, asleep with her head on Geralt's shoulder.

[shy-urban-hobbit]

@elmonstro

Lambert finds out something about Aiden's past when the Cat accidentally gets triggered.

C/W past dub con/ non con but not between Aiden and Lambert. You have been warned.

The change in Aiden's mood was so swift it almost had Lambert choking. The scent of arousal moving to pure terror the minute Lambert pinned his wrists above his head, the Cats entire body going stiff as a board underneath him.

"Aiden?" He asked trying to catch the others eye, no easy task considering how they were rapidly darting around the room, looking at anything but him.

Looking for an escape Lambert realised.

"Please let me up." Aiden's voice sounded so small and meek and totally unlike the Cat who would yell dirty limericks at the top of his lungs, not caring who heard him. Lambert was off in an instant, barely moving away fast enough to avoid bumping heads with Aiden as he sat up, breathing deeply and absent mindedly rubbing his wrists, bringing his knees to his chest. Something had triggered him. Badly.

"Aiden?"

"Sorry, sorry. I just need a minute. I....it's fine. I'm fine."

"The fuck you are." Lambert went to put a hand on Aiden's shoulder in what he hoped would be a comforting gesture, trying not to let his hurt show when the Cat flinched away. This wasn't about him.

"Ok. I won't touch you, hands are staying right here. But will you please talk to me, what did I do that scared you?"

Aiden held up a finger and Lambert nodded in understanding before falling silent, wanting desperately to comfort the other but unsure how to until Aiden was ready to speak.

After several long minutes, the stink of Aiden's fear began to ebb away and be replaced with a nauseating mix of embarrassment and misery.

"I don't like being pinned down. I can't be pinned down, alright?" He gave a derisive laugh, still avoiding looking at Lambert, "I already know what you're going to say. You pin me like that all the time when we're training or wrestling but that's different it's not...sexual."

Lambert felt his stomach lurch unpleasantly at the implication, "Someone hurt you."

Aiden nodded, "More than I realised at first. I hadn't been on the path very long and...it was hard. I was lonely and miserable and then this person swooped in, they might have been the first one who wasn't afraid of me. They treated me like a person and weren't ashamed to be seen with me whenever I was able to visit them and I took it as a compliment how they only ever seemed to smell of lust when we were together and what they wanted in return seemed such a small thing in comparison...how could I say no when they endured so much shit just for being seen with me? It was a couple of years before some of my schoolmates found out and helped me realise exactly how fucked up this relationship actually was."

Lambert was fighting a losing battle to keep his anger in check as Aiden finally looked at him. All he could think to say was, "Are they still alive?"

Aiden shook his head, "A couple of my older brothers found me one season and told me they'd 'taken care' of it. They still refuse to elaborate on what exactly they did, but you've heard the stories about my school."

Damn. Lambert had already been making plans to present Aiden this bastards head on a platter. Oh well.

"And what do you need from me right now? Do you want me to stay or leave?"

"Will you stay?" He asked, looking at Lambert as if he was genuinely afraid the Wolf would refuse.

"Of course I will. You want me up here with you or on the floor?"

"I want to be held." The words left Aiden in a rush, "I'm sorry, I don't think I can...not now, but can you still just hold me. Please?"

Lambert shifted so he was lying on his side, "Nothing to apologise for Kitten, and for what it's worth, I want nothing more than to hold you right now. C'mere."

Aiden practically dove into Lambert's open arms, allowing himself to be enveloped as he snuggled as close as he could get without crawling into the others skin, "Thanks, Lam."

Lambert hummed in response, listening as Aiden's heartbeat slowed even more in sleep as the emotional toil caught up with him and totally unaware that his Wolf planned on keeping vigil the entire night to guard him from any nightmares which may be dragged into being by such unpleasant memories.

#the witcher #the witcher fanfiction #aiden/lambert #aiden x lambert #lambden #lambert/aiden #lambert x aiden #witcher aiden #witcher lambert #lambert

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Y'all are amazing. Reblog to hug the person you’re reblogging from.

#hug back!

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Lambert/Aiden Smut under the cut. First time attempting to write anything remotely BDSM (C/W sensory deprivation, traffic light system, safe and consensual).

Lambert once told Aiden he'd one day love to be able to fuck him on silk sheets. This is the next best thing, right?

Aiden gave the room a final sweep before deciding there was nothing worthy of note - well, nothing left worthy of note. Like all the other rooms in the manor so far, this one had been totally ransacked. Anything of value, however miniscule, had been taken long before anyone thought to put a contract out concerning the disappearance of the Lord and his family (even the larger pieces of furniture hadn't been spared. Both of them assumed they'd been broken down for kindling at some point). Not that Aiden or Lambert had blamed them; from the looks of the decrepit hovels which had passed for houses in this bastards lands, it was only a matter of time before they started figuring out a way to dismantle the place brick by brick to rebuild their own homes.

If it weren't for the training that had become second nature at this point he would have missed it, crumpled up in a corner and almost blending in perfectly with the shadows. It was a little dusty like the rest of the room and bore one or two small holes which had probably been left by moths or a curious mouse but overall it seem to be fine. He smiled to himself as he shoved it into the top of his pack, feeling a plan start to form. His Wolf had been particularly melancholy the last few days and while it wasn't exactly the fantasy Lambert had divulged to him when he'd drunk his way to the 'sappy' end of his tolerance one night, but it was probably as close as they were ever going to get.

Lambert threw the rabbit bone he'd been gnawing on into the lit hearth, muttering something about going to check on the horses again - his excuse for when he wanted a few minutes alone. Everything so far was pointing towards foulplay rather than fiend but after agreeing that it wouldn't hurt to stay the night just to make sure, they'd hunkered down in one of the upstairs rooms after hunting down enough food and kindling in the house grounds to see them through the night. Aiden grabbed his find from his pack as soon as the door fell closed behind his retreating lover. He wasn't exactly sure how long Lambert would be gone for, so he needed to be quick.

True to his word Lambert did indeed go to check on the horses. The stable had been in less than ideal condition but they seemed fine enough in the small paddock. He did another sweep around the perimeter of the house -still finding nothing - before heading back inside, his footsteps echoing around the bare rooms and hallways in a way that wasn't too disamilar to back home.

He was about to push the door open when Aiden's voice called out "Wait!"

Lambert was immediately on guard. He hadn't smelt or heard anything, but you could never be too careful, "What is it?"

"Don't worry Wolf, everything's fine. Just, close your eyes before you come in? I have something for you."

Lambert quirked an eyebrow. That didn't sound suspicious at all.

Probably sensing his hesitancy, Aiden called out again, "Everything's fine Lam, trust me."

Lambert closed his eyes.

He heard the other walk towards him - barefoot if the lightness of the footfalls was any indication - before something cool was placed gently over his eyes, barely brushing his face.

"Can you keep them closed until I tell you, or do you want me to blindfold you?" Lambert thought about it for a minute before shaking his head hesitantly. Whatever it was instantly retreated.

"Same as always, you can change your mind at any time. I'm not planning on tying you down or gagging you, I just want you to keep your eyes closed for me and listen when I give you an instruction. I'll tell you when you can open your eyes and when you can and can't touch me. Alright?"

A nod this time, "Yes."

"Colour?"

"Green."

He felt Aiden's breath on his face as the other moved closer, skimming his hands over Lambert's shoulders and arms as he peppered kisses on his eyelids, his cheeks, his nose. Lambert fisted his hands, wanting to touch but waiting on his first instruction.

"You can touch." Aiden whispered against his lips before pressing their mouths together.

Lambert's arms immediately wrapped around Aiden as they kissed and he felt the same soft, slippery coolness as before. Curious, he let his hands wander, feeling the calluses on his hands snag every now and again on what he now recognised as silk. Far better quality than the moth eaten and worn stuff the whores he'd visited over the years would drape themselves in, but silk nonetheless. He bought his hands around Aiden's front to be met with the others fire warmed skin as that same fabric fluttered along the backs of his hands.

"Aiden, what the hell?" He panted when they both had to stop for breath.

"Shhh, patience Wolf. You'll see soon enough." Aiden cooed as he moved to kiss down Lambert's throat. He in turn ran one hand back up Aiden's chest until he encountered a pebbled nipple, rolling it between his finger and thumb and smirking at the moan and nip it got him in retaliation before his kisses travelled back up towards Lambert's jaw.

"Can I take this off?" He whispered in Lambert's ear, running his tongue along the shell as he toyed with the hem of his shirt. Lambert would be cursing himself for divulging that particular weak spot if he wasn't so focused on staying upright.

"Words, Lam." Aiden singsonged.

"Yes. Fuck, yes."

Another kiss before Aiden tugged the offending garment upwards and off, making a pleased noise as he stroked Lambert's chest and stomach. Lambert didn't even try to bite back the noise he made when those caresses turned into Aiden lightly raking his nails over bare skin, just shy of tickling in the way he knew drove Lambert insane. He pulled Aiden closer and nosed along his neck, having every intention of leaving a mark on one of those perfect shoulders. And spluttering when he found himself with a mouthful of silk, causing Aiden to laugh.

"Tsk tsk, almost making a hole in this." The laughter still dancing in Aiden's words belayed any sterness, "Just for that. Hands by your side."

Lambert let out a growl but did as he was told.

"Good boy." A kiss to the nose. Lambert resisted the urge to bear his teeth but just barely, knowing that if he pissed him off enough he'd never be allowed to see what the Cat had been up to. Unless he tapped out, Aiden would have him keep his eyes shut the whole time just to punish him.

He expected Aiden to carry on undressing him but instead, he took Lambert's hand in his,

"I'm going to lead you further into the room now, ok." They went slowly, Lambert keeping a firm grip on the others hand. It was only a few steps but it was still a little jarring feeling this vulnerable while moving, "I'm going to help you lay down. Colour?"

"Green."

Lambert found himself being lowered onto what he recognised by scent as their bedrolls, Aiden encouraging him to lie flat accompanied by soft kisses and whispered words before straddling him. Lambert automatically moved to rest his hands on the others hips before remembering he wasn't allowed to touch and lowering them by his sides awkwardly. Aiden huffed another laugh before grabbing his wrists and gently guiding both of Lambert's hand above his head. He didn't need to tell Lambert to leave them there.

Lambert felt Aiden's hands at his waistband, undoing the fastenings of his trousers at a torturously slow pace until he was dipping a hand inside Lambert's brais and freeing him. The Wolf let out a whine at the much welcomed contact, thrusting up as Aiden's long fingers stroked him steadily, almost lazily, the other backing off whenever Lambert tried to speed up the movement of his hips until he got the message and let Aiden set the pace.

"I want to ride you." And Gods, Aiden sounded wrecked enough that he could have been the one on the receiving end of a hand job.

"Fuck. Aiden, please."

"Alright." He felt Aiden shift further down his legs and rise up, his knees still either side of Lambert "You just keep lying there and looking pretty for me for a minute."

He caught the lightly spiced scent of the oil he favoured followed by the sound of Aiden's breath catching in his throat. Was he....? Aiden's breathing shortly turned to breathy gasps and moans. Fuck, he was! Aiden was prepping himself while hovering over him! Lambert felt his cock jump at the picture in his mind's eye. Aiden naked, hips thrusting and head thrown back as he rode his own fingers, his free hand running over his own body, teasing his sensitive spots. Of course, his imagination could never compare to the real thing which was so tantalisingly close.

"Ah, ah, ah. No peeking, remember."

Lambert screwed his eyes tight closed, he hadn't even realised they'd started fluttering open,

"Shit. Sorry! I promise I didn't see anything!"

"You're absolutely sure of that?"

Lambert nodded vigorously.

"Then I suppose I can overlook that one." Aiden cooed, bringing a heavily oiled hand to Lambert's cock before moving to take him in, both of them swearing as Lambert breached him.

"You can touch now." Aiden breathed out once he was fully seated. Lambert's hands flew to Aiden's thighs, rubbing both silk and skin soothingly while the other adjusted.

"Fuck, Aiden." Lambert threw his head back as the other started moving, "I swear you get tighter every time we do this."

"Hah! You always know how to make a man feel special."

Lambert gave a thrust of his hips in response, causing Aiden to fall forwards with a yelp, hands on Lambert's chest as Lambert unexpectedly caught his prostate dead on. Something he now made a point of doing again and again.

"Fuck! Lambert - shit - look at me. You - you can look."

Lambert fought to open his eyes against the onslaught of pleasure and was very glad he did. Aiden looked positively debauched; his hair hanging in damp curls around pleasure blown eyes and his mouth hanging open. The silk robe he was wearing was open and hanging off one shoulder and he realised the blindfold Aiden had offered him earlier must have been the tie. Lambert wasn't sure what colour it was originally, but the light from the fire, along with the fabrics sheen made it look as if his lover was clothed in liquid flames. He wasn't sure if Aiden looked more ethereal or devilish in this moment but whether he led him to salvation or damnation, Lambert would happily follow him regardless.

He flipped them both so Aiden was underneath him, barely giving the other time to register the change in position before he was thrusting into him roughly, grabbing onto a silk covered hip as he encouraged Aiden to wrap his legs around his waist, the others moans turning into near screams at the new angle. Silk clad arms slipping across Lambert's sweat soaked skin as they threw themselves around his neck, hanging on for dear life.

Lambert's name echoed around the house as Aiden came, and Lambert quickly followed as his hips stilled inside the fucked out body beneath him. Aiden grumbled unhappily as he pulled out and pulled Lambert's head down so it was resting on his chest before stroking his hair, ever the clingy one after an orgasm.

"So...not that it wasn't great. But what bought that on?"

"You've seemed a little sad and you mentioned once that you wished to one day be able to fuck me on silk sheets in a big, fancy house somewhere. I figured a silk robe in an abandoned manor house was the next best thing."

Lambert lifted his head to look at him, "I'm surprised you remember me saying that, we were that drunk. I barely remember me saying it."

"Of course. I remember all the wishes you tell me. Never know when I might be able to help one of them along."

Lambert...had absolutely no idea what to say in response to that so instead chose to kiss his Cat so thoroughly, Aiden came away from it looking slightly dazed.

"You're keeping the robe, right? I think I just discovered about a dozen more wishes all involving it."

#the witcher #the witcher fanfiction #aiden/lambert #aiden x lambert #lambden #lambert/aiden #lambert x aiden #witcher aiden #lambert #witcher lambert #smut #the witcher smut

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Y'all are amazing. Reblog to hug the person you’re reblogging from.

#glomp!

[shy-urban-hobbit]

fuck it homebrew boop button. reblog this post to boop the person you reblogged from.

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Aaaaw, lookit the happy baby Witcher!! 😍😍

For the expressions post: perhaps young lambert as #4?

-solcorvidae

He was so much fun to draw!

Thanks to @shy-urban-hobbit for the idea <3

One of his brothers brought him an alchemy kit from the Path and he's never taken better care of something in his life (inspired by Johann Joachim Becher's portable laboratory).

From these expression requests

#the witcher fanart #witcher lambert #Lambert #I still wanna Just squish his cheeks #The excited fist clench! #the excitement is real #love the detail on the alchemy kit #everything a young future explosives master could need

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Being a writer your brain is either

A) STUFFED TO BURSTING with ideas you have no clue what to do with or how to make them make sense

or

B) It's a black hole that devours every inkling of creativity in your cells and you are just hoping it'll consume you too

THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Random Prompts 13:

"I hate you." "Aw, that's sweet. You can't even lie to my face."

"Why would you ever do this?" "Why? Why not?"

"Are you really that pissed off? It's just a little love bite." "I have stitches."

"Can we circle back to you two killing each other with blades later? We're under attack!"

"What just happened? Doesn't matter, it doesn't change us." "Oh, sure, my tongue in your mouth does nothing for our relationship, got it." "Keep talking and you won't have that tongue."

"If you ever hurt me, you're gonna regret it." "Maybe I should hurt you, just to test your bluff."

"Fuck me." "Agreed, this shit sucks-" "Fuck. Me."

"I shouldn't be worried. Why the hell am I worried?" "Because you like them?" "Like hell I do."

"Did you two..." "Kiss? Depends on what you call a kiss. Personally, being body-slammed into a wall then violently made out with isn't a kiss."

"Get the fuck out, right now!" "What? You invited me!"

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Get attacked!! ✨🌈SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING🌈✨

[shy-urban-hobbit]

me seeing a mutual's happy post: "hell yeah buddy :)" *hits like*

me seeing a mutual's sad/vent post: "aww no buddy :(" *hits like*

[shy-urban-hobbit]

list of au’s to consider where one or both of ur otp is a hot mess:

‘i met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night’ au

‘i’m an ikea employee and every day for the last week i’ve had to ask you to leave the store bc you keep coming in and sleeping in the beds seriously are you homeless or something i can call a shelter’ au

‘i don’t know who you are but we keep running into each other on the street and getting into screaming arguments over the stupidest things and i’m actually looking forward to our next meeting bc you’re annoying as hell but gdi you’re hot as fuck and its kind of fun to argue with you’ au

‘i’m in my underpants in a laundromat waiting for my clothes to get washed and your clothes are in the machine next to mine and i noticed that when you put your clothes in they were all covered in blood what the fuck’ au

‘last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us’ au

‘last night was supposed to be a one night stand but we drunkenly got each other’s names tattooed on each other’s ass cheeks so now its kind of hard to forget you’ au

‘you found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life’ au

[shy-urban-hobbit]

All three Wolves kneeling around an unconscious Vesemir directly after Voleth Meir.

Eskel; He's waking up!"

Vesemir, from where he's lying on the floor: Lambert...

*Lambert leans in closer, Vesemir whispers something*

Geralt: What did he say?!

Lambert: He said 'Please get your knee off my chest.'

#the witcher #the witcher incorrect quotes #source: tmnt #kaer morons #eskel #geralt #lambert #vesemir #witcher eskel #witcher lambert #witcher geralt #witcher vesemir

[shy-urban-hobbit]

#nature #my photgraphy #my pics

[shy-urban-hobbit]

For the ask game"

'In his defence, he never thought for one second this was how that particular 'what if' scenario would go.'

Character (s) / fandom of your choice.

👀 I spy with my eye a Lambert fan

In his defense, Lambert never would have thought for a second that this was how that particular 'what if...' scenario would end up.

He had expected anger, screaming, maybe even being thrown out of the keep ass over tea kettle, when spring arrived late and he declared loudly that he wouldn't walk the Path. It was a thing unheard of, a witcher as young as Lambert taking a voluntary break.

Never in a lifetime would he have imagined spending his summer alongside Vesemir, herding sheep through the kaedweni mountains to bring them from one overgrown pasture to the next. Neither would he have ever thought Vesemir to be so civil about it. And not only that - he was actually having fun. This particular 'what if...' had turned into a pretty great summer.

. . 🌿. .

Send me an ask with a First Sentence and I will write the following five!

#this is adorable #the witcher fanfiction #the witcher drabble #witcher lambert #lambert #witcher vesemir #vesemir

[shy-urban-hobbit]