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squiffed-then-sozzled
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14 hours
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Yay or nay to the cropped tweets for next time
(Part 16)
Also say happy birthday to my cat his name is Gur
#or don't this fatass bites my legs everyday
#When we first got him he used to climb the curtains and shit in our fireplace
#Like UP there too I felt like I was a 9 year old in the 1800s
#mf had me in there like a reverse Santa Claus
#He doesn't do his job either he just plays with the bugs
#or he walks away
#anyways
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rooster teeth
#rvb grif
#rvb donut
#rvb sarge
#rvb simmons
#tweet
#funny tweets
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5 days
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Me and my brother were just talking about when I gave him a concussion via knocking him down my grandma's stairs
(Part 15)
#So my cousin and brother had some beef
#no real reason why
#they just did not fw each other 馃槶
#so he took me to the yard and taught me how to sweep someones feet out from under them
#and told me to do it to my brother
#keep in mind I was like 7
#so I see my brother going up the stairs
#my grandmas house is RLLY big so obviously the stairs are too so I didn't risk having him fall back onto me
#and I just went for and that boy tumbled down like Humpty Dumpty
#now the stairs creak super badly and one is sorta knocked out of place
#anyways the actual tags
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rooster teeth
#rvb wash
#rvb church
#rvb caboose
#rvb tucker
#rvb sister
#rvb doc
#felix rvb
#rvb felix
#tweet
#funny tweets
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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6 days
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We were talking about Peru in class for some reason today and that just made me remember when I went there and this guy begged me to take a picture with his daughter because I was so white
#yes I took the picture
#but like who just walks up to an 8 year old and asks that 馃槶
#It was so funny though
#Tbh that entire trip was a fever dream
#we watched guinea pigs get slaughtered then ate them
#The firework war and the nun I mentioned a few posts down
#my brother getting pulled aside by security for having three moldy towels that he stole a bathing suit AND a potato sized rock that he did
#NOT originally have with him
#10/10 would go again
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rooster teeth
#edit
#felix rvb
#rvb locus
#samuel ortez
#issac gates
#felix mcscouty
#locus
#felix
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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13 days
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Went to the dentist guess who has 9 FUCKING CAVITIES 馃槶馃槶馃槶
#my mommy was NOT happy y鈥檃ll
#IDK WHY I GOT THEM I BRUSH MY TEETH EVERY MORNING AND NIGHT 馃様
#THEY DONT HURT EITHER
#she should be glad I鈥檓 not as bad as my brother 馃檮
#he literally had to get his teeth sanded down TWICE because his teeth were so orange since he never brushed
#when he had braces they literally had to pull two of his teeth to make it go faster
#鈥榗ause his teeth were rotting 馃槢
#anyways
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rooster teeth
#edit
#rvb carolina
#rvb tex
#rvb texas
#agent carolina
#agent texas
#rvb beta
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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15 days
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Another piece of great grandma lore is the fact she had a pet bobcat
(Part 14)
#she also threatened to kill my dad's girlfriend
#and my dads dads girlfriend
#which must've been terrifying with the mafia connections
#if I was my grandmother I'd be looking behind my back every second 馃槶
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rooster teeth
#rvb wash
#rvb church
#rvb caboose
#rvb sister
#rvb tucker
#lavernius tucker
#leonard church
#epsilon
#kaikaina grif
#micheal j caboose
#rvb washington
#tweet
#funny tweets
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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19 days
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The washing machine one has more than one meaning if yk what I mean, anyways just learned my great grandma had ties to the mafia
(Part 13)
#she also helped my uncle evade the police when she was alive
#he got caught and put away for 10 years though 馃様
#cant explain all the great grandma lore but just know there's a LOT
#lets just saying might not be related to half the people I'm told I am
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rooster teeth
#rvb grif
#rvb donut
#rvb simmons
#rvb sarge
#tweet
#funny tweets
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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19 days
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Dude all this eclipse shit got me remembering when I went to the totality zone in 2017 and got mooned
#like this 40 year old man was just dropping a steamy one in front of over 100 people
#No matter how much I stare at the eclipse that image will never be burnt from my retinas
#Anyways why do I hurt myself with my own edits 馃様
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rooster teeth
#rvb freelancers
#rvb north
#rvb carolina
#rvb wash
#rvb south
#rvb ct
#rvb maine
#rvb york
#rvb connie
#edit
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23 days
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Did anyone else's dad used to shoot squirrels away from the bird feeder with their kids BB gun or was that just a me only thing
(Part 12)
#sometimes they'd fall onto the trampoline
#and just be running around till they died
#HE'D HAVE US WATCH TOO
#AND PICK THEM UP BY THE TAIL
#ngl it was kinda fun 馃
#i have videos 馃構
#red vs blue
#rooster teeth
#rvb
#rvb church
#rvb wash
#rvb caboose
#rvb tucker
#tweet
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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28 days
Note
can i draw ur rvb twittr posts :3 i need to so bad theyre so fuckig funny
YESY YES YES PLEASE DEAR GOD PLEASE DO IT
#deadass forgot people even saw the shit I post
#I just throw it out in the wild and run
#So sorry if this is rlly late 馃槶馃槶馃槶
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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28 days
Text
JUST FOUND OUT MY DAD HAS MILITARY GRADE TRACKERS ON ME AND MY SIBLINGS 馃槶馃槶馃槶
#anyways the song fit to well to not make this
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rooster teeth
#rvb church
#rvb tex
#chex
#rvb alpha
#rvb beta
#leonard church
#edit
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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1 month
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My grandma's thinking about taking us the Germany this year and all I can think about is when I got a bladder infection the last time I was there
(Part 11)
#I genuinely like couldn't take a sip of water without it hurting for MONTHS
#It happened because I had to hold my piss in my so long and we could NOT find a bathroom
#for the love of god go to the bathroom before the seatbelt sign is on
#anyways can't wait for round 2!!!
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rooster teeth
#rvb grif
#rvb simmons
#rvb donut
#rvb sarge
#funny tweets
#tweet
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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1 month
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As soon as I heard black and orange I knew what had to be done 馃槱
#just remembered this one time when I was in Peru and it was New Year's
#So we're shooting bottle rockets right?
#but then this random ass kid who we did NOT know
#Started shooting rockets at us so now we're having a full on WAR
#But this kid like
#NEVER ran out and we were so confused as to how until we chased him
#And saw his dad owned a FIREWORK STORE and the kid had been stealing from it
#Also my cousin shot a nun with one and she called the police on us so we had to hide for a bit 馃様
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rooster teeth
#felix rvb
#rvb felix
#issac gates
#edit
#edits
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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1 month
Text
IT KINDA SOUNDS LIKE THETA OKAY
#Bro today I was in my grandmas car right
#And I felt something roll against my leg and I look down and it's an URN
#THEN SHE JUST FUCKING SAYS oh look out for your great uncle he's in the back!!!!
#LIKE HELP WHAT
#hes just rolling around back there cause no one wants him 馃槶
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rooster teeth
#rvb theta
#rvb north
#edits
#edit
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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2 months
Text
The lobster in question
PRAYING she's in the next season I love her sm 馃檹
#im a lot of things but I AIN'T no fucking liar
#It was so funny when it happened a kid just walked into 4th block
#And told the teacher that there's literally just a LOBSTER in the urinal 馃槶
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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2 months
Text
PRAYING she's in the next season I love her sm 馃檹
#had a spanish test today
#I am COOKED y'all
#Just started writing down random ass shit 馃槶
#OHMYGOD ALSO today someone for some godforsaken reason put a
#LOBSTER in the urinal
#I have a picture and everything 馃
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rooster teeth
#rvb sister
#rvb grif
#dexter grif
#edit
#edits
#mitski
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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2 months
Text
sorry not sorry the sound fit to well 馃槢
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rooster teeth
#rvb locus
#felix rvb
#rvb felix
#felix mcscouty
#samuel ortez
#issac gates
#locus
#edit
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squiffed-then-sozzled
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2 months
Text
HELP MY NEIGHBORS CHICKEN JUST HOPPED ON THE FUCKING UPS TRUCK AND LEFT
(Part 10)
#ITS GONE GONE BRO
#that mf half way across the country by now 馃槶
#also might make the mercenaries
#we'll see 馃構
#red vs blue
#rvb
#rvb grif
#rvb simmons
#rvb donut
#rvb sarge
#rooster teeth
58 notes
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