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starmended · 4 months

Note

THIS IS SO CUTE THANK U SM I LOVED IT 🩷🩷🩷

so i enjoy your writing… and because i’m lazy to write this myself (since i’m working on my series) i might as well request it :P

I had this thought for a spock fic, where love at first sight is at play…

The reader is unaware of spock’s way of flirting with her. but fortunately for him, her delusion is the problem (reader is an engineer that overworks herself to the point where she wouldn’t even remember who she was talking with and what she was doing) spock would eventually realize that and help her out in the best of his ability which would result in her realizing she likes him too and you could go from there

Crush On You

Author's Note: I enjoy your writing, too!! When I saw your icon in my inbox I was like: 🤩 Hope you like it and I'm sorry it took me so long! 🖤 Divider by @cafekitsune Warnings: maybe a tiny bit of angst? WC: 2,636

For Spock, there wasn't just one moment in time that made him realize he was in love with you, but several.

Working with you on various projects aboard the Enterprise, he came to enjoy your company. You were intelligent and well-versed in the workings of the ship, much like him, but you never flaunted it like so many before you. Actually, he would even go so far as to say that you seemed to enjoy being underestimated.

“Maybe if you weren’t allowing your ignorance to cloud your judgment, ensign, you’d know that shortcuts equal mistakes, and mistakes equal casualties.” You say sternly to someone who had questioned routine inspection and maintenance on the nacelles. “Do you think the Enterprise can afford casualties? When we are—essentially—Starfleet’s flagship?”

“No, ma’am.” The ensign mumbled.

You purse your lips as you stare at him for a moment longer than necessary, making the kid uncomfortable. “Good. Now scram, before I decide to bring this up to the captain.”

He scurries off, fully intending to get back to working on the project you’d delegated while you looked down at your PADD to see what other kind of maintenance was scheduled within the next few days. You were Hemmer’s second-in-command, covering while he regained his strength from the incident on Valeo Beta V. It had been an ordeal for the books, and while he’d wanted to get back to work as soon as possible, M’Benga had placed him on mandatory medical leave.

Besides, Hemmer knew the Enterprise was in good hands when you were on the engineering deck. You didn’t become a commander by twiddling your thumbs and letting everyone else do the dirty work, after all.

“Are you sure that was wise?”

“Hm?” You look behind you to find Spock standing in front of the turbolift, hands clasped behind his back. “What do you mean?”

He approaches you, precise in his steps and calculating in demeanor. You’ve come to realize why people associate Vulcans with great big felines. It’s the way they carry themselves.

“Intimidation won’t raise the morale of your underlings, it will only make them resent you, and in doing so, this leaves more room for error.”

You lean on one hip and raise an eyebrow. “It’s taken me a long time but I know when you’re joking, Spock. Nice try.”

The corner of his lips twitch almost imperceptibly. “How did you guess?”

“You’re one of the most intimidating people on this ship.” You point out. “And I recall you once saying something along the lines of, ‘assertiveness will ensure they get it right the first time’...or something like that.”

He tilts his head, impressed. He enjoys these bouts of light teasing between the two of you. “It wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility that I simply changed my perspective.”

You hug the PADD to your chest, thoughtful as you agree. “No…no it wouldn’t.”

“But,” You smile at him knowingly, eyes full of mischief. “You’re not a simple kind of guy, Spock. You’re not the type to change your mind like people change socks. It would have to either be a very hard lesson, or a…a revelation, to get you to do a one-eighty.”

You feel lucky to be able to see him like this as his expression turns to one of contentment. It brings to mind how close the two of you have become since the start of this away mission.

“You know me better than most.” He looks out at the people working under your care. “Not to mention the ship.”

It’s like ice water on you, but you just smile appreciatively and turn to look at the expanse of Engineering. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

He blinks as he lays a hand on the railing that leads down to the bay. That wasn’t what he was trying to—

“Commander, could I get your input on something?”

You look over to see a different ensign than before, looking hopeful, and both you and Spock go to answer.

“Yes?”

You share an awkward glance with Spock and he straightens, recognizing his blunder. “I…must get back to the bridge. Commander.”

“Commander.” You return, unsure as to why the air between the two of you had suddenly become so strained in the span of a few minutes.

***

Later, when you enter your quarters, you’re surprised to see an incredibly intricate vase with your favorite flowers posed on your counter. You kick off your shoes numbly and stare at the huge amount of flora that are illuminated by the kitchen light above them, the motion sensor having been activated.

“Wow,” You lift your fingers and touch one of the satin-soft petals, leaning in to breathe the natural scents. There are hints of delicate Queen Anne’s lace scattered in the vase, making the other flowers the focal point. “Where did you come from?”

You look for a note everywhere, even going so far as to hold the vase up to see if maybe it was hidden underneath, but there’s nothing except for a stamp declaring the iridescent vessel to be pure Andorian crystal (which explained the weight).

Surmising that the origins must mean it’s from Hemmer, perhaps a gift to say thank you for keeping Engineering in check, you jot a mental note to not scold him too much for being out of sick bay so early the next time you see him, even if the thought does irk you a little.

Men and their stubborn need to disobey medical advice…

***

“While I love the idea of sending you on a wild goose chase for no reason, I really have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Wait—” You scrunch up your face. “You really weren’t the one to send those flowers?”

Hemmer shrugs as much as he’s able to with one arm in a sling. “I don’t know where the vase came from either. All I have of Andoria on the Enterprise is my ushaan-tor, an ice-cutting tool. I have no use for crystal here—certainly not a vase.”

“Oh.” You sigh, pressing your fingers to your temple, feeling a headache coming on. Hemmer’s antennae focus in your direction and he gives you a knowing smile.

“I think you should face the fact that you have an admirer.”

“Don’t even. I’m sure it was just a nice gesture from someone.”

“And here I thought I taught you better than that.” He feigns a sigh.

“...What do you mean?”

“You’re making an assumption without even asking questions.”

You huff and extend your arms in defeat. “What questions am I supposed to be asking?”

Hemmer rolls his milky eyes. “The flowers were in your room, correct?”

“Yeah…?”

“Who on the Enterprise can gain access to another person’s quarters without their code or genetic signature?”

You blanch in horror. “The captain?”

“Or someone of equal rank as you.” Hemmer groans. “Honestly, what would you do without me?”

“But why would Spock of all people send me flowers?”

“Maybe you should go ask him.”

“Oh my god,” You whine as you turn to leave the sick bay. “I wish I’d never come to ask if it was you or not.”

“Not my problem.” Hemmer calls amusedly after you.

“Clearly!”

***

"I simply don't see how my feelings could be unclear at this point."

Uhura and Erica share an amused glance across from Spock.

"Maybe because you're looking at this the wrong way." Erica points out.

"How so?" He asks.

"Well," She sets down her beverage before continuing. They're gathered at one of the tables in the ship's mess hall, the three of them having finished their respective shifts. "Are you trying to court another Vulcan, or are you trying to go on a date with her?"

Understanding flashes across Spock's face. "You're suggesting that our two cultures are different enough to also warrant different courting rituals."

She grins as Uhura rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Of course they do! Spock, she’s human, and I hate to break it to you but human women can be both extremely smart or extremely clueless—sometimes both. Sending Y/N an old textbook that she’s been trying to find since her Academy days is a nice gesture, but it's not going to get your point across. And sending her a bunch of flowers with no note won’t either. Don’t even get me started on the necklace you gave.”

“Is it not customary to give gifts to those you admire?”

“It was on her birthday,” Erica shakes her head good-naturedly. “It’s not the same.”

“Don’t worry—she thinks all of it was really sweet,” Uhura interrupts. “But I think she just assumes you did those things as her friend. The necklace on her birthday, the book when our last shore leave was over, the flowers after it was tense between the two of you…it’s not exactly a neon sign.”

Spock blinks, seemingly at a loss. “What do you propose I do, then?”

“Tell her.” The two women state, their tones as deadpan and obvious as they could possibly get.

He sighs so minutely that you’d miss it if you blinked. “Point taken. Then I suppose the only logical course of action would be to follow your collective advice and…tell her how I truly feel.”

They look expectantly at him, Uhura choosing to sip at her martini at that point with interest.

“Why do I now feel an incredible sense of dread?” He asks, voice wooden in his throat.

Erica snorts and downs the rest of her beer, slapping his shoulder as she stands up to leave. “You’ll be fine, trust me. People do it all the time.”

She turns to Uhura. “You still feel like watching that new movie everyone’s been talking about?”

“Ooh, yeah!” Uhura enthusiastically hops off of the bar stool. “I’ve been dying to see it ever since Jenna mentioned it. Your room?”

“Wait—” Spock tries to stop them but they're already gone. He sighs through his nose as he stands, resigned to making his own way into the hall and towards your quarters.

He has no idea what to say to you, doesn't even know if you'll be up at this hour, but if tonight was anything like the rest of this week—the rest of this month, even—he clearly wasn't going to be getting an adequate amount of sleep until this issue was resolved. Much as he’d like to deny it, his emotions are getting the better of him, and he feels like they might just start to bil to the surface if he isn’t careful.

He takes a deep breath as he stands in front of your door, but it slides open just as he reaches for the control console.

“Oh—” Your eyes widen as you nearly walk smack into him. “Spock—hi. I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Hello.” He surveys your change of clothes; a cowl neck blouse that dips lower than your uniform and shows off the—

“Going somewhere?” He asks, swallowing when he sees the pendant he gave you nestled in the space just below your clavicle. It’s the first time he’s seen you wear it, only because you keep it tucked safely away underneath your uniform.

He doesn’t know that, though.

“Yeah, actually, I was going to meet up with someone for dinner tonight. I figured since we’re docked for repairs, it wouldn’t hurt to have a real meal.”

He feels a twinge in his chest. “My apologies. I’ll let you—”

“Oh no, no,” You press your hand to his elbow, expression hopeful. “I’m leaving super early, I just wanted a nice walk first. Wanna come with?”

He knows for his own sake, he should decline. But the warmth of your hand is enough to change his mind, even if you drop it almost immediately.

“After you.” He agrees. The smile you gift him with is worth it, he thinks. At least for a little while.

The walk from the ship to the dock is quick, and then before he knows it he’s escorting you through the city towards the restaurant.

“So what did you want to talk to me about?”

He’s snapped out of his thoughts abruptly. “I—”

The words seem to jumble on his tongue, and for what feels like the umpteenth time, Spock curses his emotions.

You pause in your steps, your long skirt swaying in place just above your ankles. It’s a rare occasion that Spock is speechless, and even rarer for you to witness it yourself.

“You can tell me anything, Spock.” You promise sincerely, eyes soft.

“I know.”

He clenches his jaw. “I wanted to talk to you about my feelings.”

“Your…feelings?” You ask. “About what?”

He looks at you for a considerable moment, expression full of weight, and recognition suddenly flashes behind your eyes.

“About you.” He admits quietly, nodding his confirmation. “Our friends have told me I’ve been going about courting you incorrectly, and I assumed you would understand without me having to say the words out loud.”

He clasps his hands behind his back, as he usually does when he’s putting a lot of thought into something. “That wasn’t fair to you, and you shouldn’t have to guess what my intentions are. I hope to remedy this by telling you now.”

“I’m in love with you.”

You nearly startle at those five little words, even though you knew he was going to say them. “Wha—”

Your voice cracks in your throat and you sniffle, having teared up as you listened to him. “Spock I—I don’t know what to say.”

His face falls. “I’ve upset you.”

“No, no,” You duck your head, giving him a watery laugh. “I’m not upset, I promise. I’m crying because I’m happy.”

He reaches for you hesitantly, but you melt into his embrace.

“I feel so stupid.” Your embarrassed lament is muffled in his blue uniform. “All those things you did, it was because you liked me?”

He huffs amusedly. “Yes. Although the phrase you just used seems quite inadequate.”

You pull back and he uses the opportunity to brush the wetness from your cheeks with his thumbs. “Vulcans feel emotion much more strongly than humans do, and because of that, the adoration I feel for you is multiplied exponentially.”

You search his own dark eyes as he goes on.

“As you humans are prone to say…you're driving me nuts.”

Your snort and resounding laugh as you press your face back into his uniform makes his heart lighter, and Spock wonders if he’s ever been quite this happy before.

***

“Your shift ended an hour ago.”

A voice behind you startles you and you bang your head on bare metal when you try to lift it. “Shit!”

“Are you alright?”

You wince as you rub the sore spot, peeking out from underneath the shuttle at Spock, who is bent at the waist to inspect your work.

“Yeah, I’ll live.” You grumble. “Did you say it ended an hour ago?”

“I did.” He holds a hand out and isn’t surprised when you grasp it, slick oil covering your fingers and wrists. You’ve tried to discourage him from touching you when you’re dirty, but he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, you’d argue that he reaches for you more often.

When he hauls you from underneath the shuttle, you’re pleasantly surprised with a steaming cup of coffee at your workstation. “I’m also aware that the odds of you coming back to bed without finishing your task are slim to none.”

The steam from the cup curls around your cheerful face. “You know me better than most.”

“That’s what boyfriends are for.” He retorts just as quick. He crowds against you and nuzzles against your cheek, despite your half-hearted protests.

“I’m all gross.” You warn.

“It’s of no consequence.”

You giggle, setting the coffee down to return his light kiss. “Nothing’s ever of any consequence to you.”

#spock #fic rec #must read

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starmended · 5 months

Note

This was the cutest thing ever 🙁🙁🙁

I've been binging romcoms with my younger sister and we just finished "To all the boys I have loved before" and now I can't get the idea out of my head: reader writing letters for different starfleet members without intending to send them and suddenly the letters are gone and being sent to their unintended targets (lol, probably Jim did it not knowing that they were not supposed to be read or something). Problem is: our favorite vulcan will too be receiving quite a love letter. Idk, I just thought it was cute, you can ignore if it's too silly ^\\\^

This was such a cute request and I love rom-com-type situations so I ran wild. Also, I'm sorry that this took so long for me to get out I have been busy with school and other annoying responsibilities! I hope you enjoy it!

Title: Message in a Bottle

Pairing: Spock x Kirk!reader

Warnings- none!

Word Count: 4047 my hand slipped

Lieutenant (Y/N) Kirk had been having a totally normal day. She completed her duties on the bridge as normal and had just finished eating dinner with her brother Jim. Now as she headed back to her room, she could not wait to shower, crawl into bed, and enjoy the next few hours of sleep before she had to get up and do everything again. When she entered her room the automated door hissed closed and she was finally completely alone. She took a deep breath and turned the lights in the room on. She almost immediately noticed something that completely ruined her peace.

Earlier that morning, (Y/N) was clearing out her storage closet and had sat a white box full of envelopes on her dining room table so that she would remember to find a new place for them. That box was no longer on the table. Now, one might think why is a missing box of envelopes a big deal? Well, they aren’t. It’s the fact that the envelopes were all properly addressed and full of letters to people she knew that she never intended to send. A few sappy ‘thank you’s to old teachers, a couple to her higher-ups including Captain Christopher Pike – the man who told the Kirk siblings to enroll in Star Fleet Academy. These letters would be slightly embarrassing if they got out but nothing (Y/N) couldn’t handle. After all, everything she wrote in them was true and she appreciates everything those people have done for her. There was only one letter in that whole box that worried (Y/N)—her love letter – a detailed love letter – to one Commander Spock. She cursed herself for writing and keeping a love letter in the first place though she didn’t anticipate the whole box would disappear. She tried to think back to earlier to see if she could remember if she moved it, but when she left her room after lunch it was still on the table and she hadn’t returned since.

“This can’t be happening. It didn’t just sprout legs and walk away!” She said to herself. (Y/N) ran a hand down her face and thought hard. She paused, “No fucking way.” She exited her room at a jog and progressively got faster as she headed toward her brother’s room. She slid to a stop in front of the white door of the captain's quarters and rapidly slammed her fist against it.

“James, open the door right now!”

The door slid open revealing a perplexed – and slightly afraid – Jim Kirk. He knew he had done something wrong for her to be angry enough to come to his room calling him by his full name. Of course, he had no idea what he had done but he decided it was best to try to start off ahead.

“Look, I know you’re upset about-“

“Did you move the white box on my dining room table when you were in my room earlier?”

“Wait, what? That’s what you’re mad about?” Jim scrunched his face up and scratched the top of his head. (Y/N)’s eyes widened and she briefly looked around the corridor before shoving Jim back into his room and following him in. The door shut with a hiss and (Y/N) closed her eyes and took a deep breath in through her nose and out through her mouth. When she opened her eyes Jim was staring at her with a confused expression and his hands crossed over his chest.

“Please, for the love of god, tell me you didn’t mail those letters,” (Y/N) said as calmly as she possibly could. Silence followed her question and she already knew the answer.

“Well –“

“Oh. My. God.”

“There was a box of addressed envelopes on the table so I thought you needed them mailed!”

“Jim! Why would you mail someone else's letters? Isn’t that, like, illegal or something?” (Y/N) was absolutely freaking out and, for the life of him, Jim couldn’t understand why.

“I was trying to be nice! I knew you had a long day today and I wanted to take something off your plate! Excuse me for being a good brother,” Jim rolled his eyes at his sister and threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

“Well, jackass, a good brother would have asked before just taking a box from his sister’s room and now there is a love letter headed to your second in command!”

A long pause followed her statement. Jim blinked once. Twice. Then a prolonged third blink.

“What?” Jim had no idea what to say. (Y/N) groaned and ran her hands through her hair in frustration. She began to pace in the entryway and ramble about how dumb she was to write it in the first place and how she should have burned the letters when she had the chance. Jim finally shook his head to rouse himself out of his stunned silence.

“Why the hell would you write a love letter…to Spock? Or to anyone for that matter what is this 1812?” Jim chuckled at his own joke but covered it with a cough when (Y/N) glared at him.

“I don’t know! I like writing letters and I just started writing one day and it turned into a full blown sappy confession that I had planned to keep hidden till the day I died! Now it’s headed off to the last person in the universe who I wanted to see it.”

“Well, maybe this isn’t so bad.”

“I want you to stop talking.”

“No, I’m serious maybe this is what you two need to stop dancing around the obvious!” Jim gestured vaguely with his hands as (Y/N) ceased her pacing. She sighed and shook her head.

“Jim, we’ve been over this: Spock does not feel that way about me. And that’s fine!” (Y/N) and her brother had had many conversations about this subject. Always with Jim insisting that the feelings were mutual and (Y/N) denying that Spock would ever even look at her in that way. I’m his best friend’s little sister and his subordinate, she thought, He’s way too professional for that.

Before Jim could respond, both of their communicators chimed. They were being called back to the bridge for an emergency. They briefly held eye contact before rushing toward the door. As they jogged toward the bridge, (Y/N) continued the conversation.

“Okay did you just mail them today?”

“Why are we still talking about this?”

“Because I want to know how long I have to transfer to another part of the fucking galaxy to avoid embarrassment,” They turned a corner and the lights flickered before flashing red. The ship shuttered and Jim and (Y/N) struggled to regain footing.

“Is it bad that I’m hoping whatever just happened happened to happen to the mail room?”

“Yes. And that was way too many uses of the word ‘happened’.”

Six hours and several shots fired later, the trouble was averted. A rogue Klingon battalion had decided to attack the Enterprise while it was stationary and almost destroyed the engines but quick thinking from Jim, (Y/N), Spock, and Sulu had saved the day. (Y/N) was officially beyond exhausted. She was so tired, in fact, that she forgot about the whole letter situation and went straight to bed after the whole debacle was over.

Day 1 of waiting:

She slept blissfully and woke up rested and ready for the day. She had gotten dressed and ready and made her way back to the bridge. Unfortunately, her blissful restfulness was cut short when she laid eyes on a certain Commander and remembered the imminent embarrassment that was bound to ruin her life at some point this week.

“Good morning, Lieutenant Kirk. You look rested.” Spock greeted her with a nod as he fell in step with her toward the bridge elevator.

“Uh, yeah, good morning,” (Y/N) managed to only stutter once and she quickly cleared her throat. She shouldn’t be freaking out. They walked together to the bridge all the time. Of course, normally Jim is with them but still, casual meetings with Spock were not entirely out of the ordinary. As they walked, silence filled the space between the two and, to (Y/N), it was suffocating. Something on her face must have given away the fact that something was wrong.

“Are you feeling alright, Lieutenant?” Spock asked. His face was neutral but he side eyed (Y/N) intensely. Briefly, (Y/N) met his heavy gaze before looking straight ahead.

“Yup, feeling absolutely terrific!” She couldn’t even believe herself. Spock raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak again but, luckily for (Y/N), he was interrupted.

“Lieutenant Kirk.” It was Scotty. God bless him! (Y/N) thought.

“What’s up, Scotty?” Was that the formal way to address him? No. But (Y/N) just wanted to get out of speaking with Spock one-on-one.

“I need to speak to you. There are some issues with a few of the privates stationed in the engine room and I could use your help to resolve the issue before I throw some people out of the airlock!” His accent was strong with annoyance and (Y/N) couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Sure thing,” She turned to Spock who had paused beside her, “You go on to the bridge, I’ll be in the engine room if you need me in the meantime.” Without waiting for an answer, (Y/N) hurried toward the engine room leaving Scotty to trail behind.

Day 2 of waiting:

It was only the second day, and Spock had already caught on to the fact that (Y/N) was avoiding him. (Y/N) knew it was not going to be easy to allude him while also keeping it a secret that she was doing it on purpose, after all – Spock isn’t an idiot and (Y/N) is anything but subtle. Spock and (Y/N) had a routine and of course in an effort to not speak to him (Y/N) had changed it so that she was usually off the bridge when Spock was there and vice versa.

“Lieutenant Kirk you are needed on the bridge,” Chekov’s thick accent crackled through (Y/N)’s communicator and she sighed. She knew Spock would be there which is why she was currently in the engine room recalibrating the warp drive. It was busy work that she normally wouldn’t do but anything to avoid the impending embarrassment.

“On my way.”

When she arrived, Spock immediately shifted his gaze from his work to her. (Y/N) briefly met his gaze before walking toward her brother who was seated in his chair with his legs thrown over the armrest. She rolled her eyes.

“What do you want, Jim?”

“That’s no way to address your captain, Lieutenant,” Jim had a smug smile on his face – as usual – and it took everything in (Y/N) not to smack him on the back of his head.

“Tell me what you want or I’m leaving. I was working, unlike some people,” She scoffed as she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned into her hip.

“Okay, I am sending you and Spock on a mission,” Jim’s smirk got wider as he noticed his sister’s eye twitch in annoyance. “The planet we’re coming up on is supposed to be abandoned but there should be evidence of a previous civilization. I figured with your archeological knowledge and Spock’s general smart-assery you two would fit the job perfectly.”

(Y/N) took a deep breath in through her nose as she glared at Jim. She sneaked a glance at Spock.

He was listening in on the conversation – an action he deemed logical since it also pertained to him. His eyes were focused on the screen in front of him but he could see (Y/N) from the corner of his eye. He noticed her normally relaxed state was exchanged for tensed shoulders and a glowering expression. Whatever had been going on yesterday had most certainly carried into today. He thought. (Y/N) Kirk was one of his closest friends just as James Kirk was. Though many things that the younger Kirk did were illogical and not well thought out, she knew how to get the results she wanted and always figured out a way for everyone to be happy or at least safe. Spock enjoyed her company even more than he enjoyed her brother’s. She was smart, kind, and usually quiet if it was just the two of them. She was a challenging chess opponent and someone dear to his heart. Not that he would say that to her.

(Y/N) sighed, “Okay. When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow afternoon. We’ll be in the atmosphere at around 12 o’clock Earth time so you’ve got plenty of time to research and prepare. Why don’t you and Spock take the rest of the day for whatever nerd stuff you need to do,” Jim waved his sister off before getting up and leaving the bridge. (Y/N) glared at his back as he left before begrudgingly walking over to Spock.

“Hey, Spock,” she said. Her eyes were focused on the ground rather than up at the Vulcan who was looking at her intently. (Y/N) took a breath in through her nose before finally lifting her gaze to meet Spock’s, “Let’s go get some lunch and we can talk about the mission.”

Before the Vulcan had the chance to respond, (Y/N) quickly turned on her hell and started walking toward the elevator. Spock easily caught up to her before the doors closed and as the elevator began to descend, Spock spoke up.

“(Y/N), are you feeling ill?” Spock dropped the formalities and asked straight out. (Y/N) lifted an eyebrow and looked at her Commander with a curious gaze.

“No, I’m fine. Why do you ask?” This was a stupid question, (Y/N) realized. Her behavior was at best erratic and clearly intentional so it was only logical for Spock to know something was wrong. She did breathe an internal sigh of relief knowing that Spock hadn’t received the letter, otherwise, she was sure he would have confronted her by now – mutual feelings or not.

“You’ve been acting strange for the last couple of days. I want to be sure that your behavior will not negatively affect your performance on this mission.”

(Y/N) fought the urge to roll her eyes as the elevator doors hissed open. Of course. She thought. He’s only worried about this dumb mission my dumb brother is sending us on to torture me.

“I am also worried about your well-being, Lieutenant.” Spock’s surprising sentiment almost made (Y/N) trip on her own foot. She cleared her throat and shrugged her shoulders as they turned the corner of the hallway.

“I promise, I’m okay. Just have a lot on my mind right now.”

“Ah, yes, the letter.”

(Y/N) swore her heart stopped right there in the hallway. She hesitantly looked at Spock, trying her best to keep her expression as neutral as his. She didn't know how to respond I could play dumb, she mused, but he’s too smart for that to work. The man knows my handwriting so it would be impossible for me to deny that I wrote it. She took a deep breath through her nose, Fuck it.

“Yeah, actually that is what’s on my mind. And honestly, I had hoped I could just ignore the problem but I should have known that wouldn’t work with you.” (Y/N) rambled.

“Why would this be a problem?” Spock tilted his head slightly and furrowed his eyebrows, something that (Y/N) found impossible endearing.

“It could ruin things! In so many ways!” By now, (Y/N) was pacing the hallway and Spock was more confused than ever. “You’re my superior officer and I just sent a love letter to you! Of course, I wouldn’t be dumb enough to send it that would be my genius brother. But I was dumb enough to leave the box out and allow him into my room! But I mean, who mails other people’s letters without asking? What was he even thinking?”

“(Y/N) –“

“I’m so sorry! I seriously didn’t mean to tell you like this and if I’m honest, I didn’t intend on telling you at all! My feelings were supposed to be kept to myself! Well, to myself and Jim but he’s a nosey bastard who obviously can’t mind his business! I don't know why I tell him anything and honestly, I wish he’d just – “

“(Y/N).” Spock, tired of listening to her pointlessly rambling on about how annoying her brother is – a fact he knew to be true – grabbed her gently by the shoulder to get her to stop pacing. Now that she wasn’t speaking and instead was staring up at him like a kicked puppy waiting to be scolded his mind went blank. Spock was officially at a loss for words. “I was talking about the letter of promotion Admiral Pike sent you. About the head of engineering position.”

She wanted to disappear. Perhaps if she willed it hard enough, she could fade from existence on the spot. For once, it was running her own mouth that got her in trouble instead of her brother’s. (Y/N) tried to read Spock’s expression but couldn’t and that sent even more anxiety straight to her gut.

“Oh.” That was all she managed to say. She quickly regained her wits, “Then just forget everything I said and we can just go back to normal!” She let out a nervous laugh that sounded more like a cry and started to walk in the direction of the cafeteria. However, Spock hadn’t let go of her shoulder and as she walked away his grip slipped from her shoulder down to her hand, stopping her in her tracks.

“Wait.” That was all he managed to say. His mind was still reeling trying to decipher her quick words. A love letter. He thought. She loves me? He couldn’t believe it. “You love me?”

Despite her distraught state, she had to admit she had never seen Spock looking so dumbfounded, as if what she said was something he had never thought of in any scenario. His hand still held hers firmly and he gently pulled her back towards him. “You love me.” He said again, though this time it seemed as though he was finally understanding the situation.

“Okay, Spock, you’re starting to sound like a broken record, and the record is titled Hurting (Y/N)’s Feelings.” She chuckled only to keep herself from bursting into tears out of sheer embarrassment. This was the moment she was dreading. The absolute end of a friendship and a lifetime of shame. I’ll have to go into exile. Maybe I’ll ask Scotty to throw me out of the airlock. She thought. Just as she was about to speak again, Spock dropped her hand turned on his heel, and headed back in the direction they came from. That was when the damn broke and (Y/N)’s eyes welled up with hot tears. Blinking rapidly, she haphazardly looked around the hallway to make sure no one saw her before jetting away in the direction of her room.

“You left her in the hallway?” Jim was on the verge of shouting. He was absolutely flabbergasted at Spock’s behavior. Spock rolled his eyes.

“I was unsure of what I was supposed to do.”

“So you decided to leave my baby sister in the hallway, by herself, after basically confessing her undying love for you.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Trust me, I am not.” Jim ran a hand through his hair and huffed out an annoyed sigh. He paced back and forth, a habit that Spock noticed the siblings share, before looking back at his second in command. “Okay, you have to go after her.”

Spock knew this. It was obviously the most logical course of action. There was only one problem: “What am I supposed to say to her?”

“Apologize for rudely walking away, first off. Then – and this is just a spitball idea – tell her you feel the same!”

Jim was actually convinced that Spock’s brain had short-circuited. Spock wasn’t firing on all cylinders because if he was, he would understand the logical thing to do. Secretly, Jim was happy this situation happened. He had been trying to the Spock and his sister together for months now but he found the process to be similar to cutting a tree down with a blunt axe.

“Beginning a relationship with Lieutenant Kirk would violate –“

“Not if she accepts the promotion.”

“She’d still be my subordinate!”

“Only in the same way Scotty is our subordinate! He only has to listen to us sometimes.”

“That is not how the ranking system works.”

“Who cares?” Jim was tired of arguing with Spock over something that seemed so obvious. Spock felt the same way. “Listen, if you don’t want to tell her you have feelings for her I can’t make you. What I can tell you is that no matter what you do the sentence needs to start with I’m sorry and end with something nice. Turn off the Vulcan side for a change, not everything you do has to be completely logical. Sometimes we just need to do things that we want.”

It must have been a strange sight. The commanding officer of the USS Enterprise stood stiffly in front of (Y/N)’s quarters. He was still trying to figure out what exact words he needed to say and he had taken to scratching at his cuticles out of nervousness. I should not just be standing here. He thought. Shaking his head and finally lifting his clenched fist, he knocked twice. Panic briefly set into his veins as he realized he was actually going to have to talk to (Y/N). A cold shiver ran up his spine as the door’s airlock hissed open and revealed (Y/N) on the other side. He could tell she had been crying, though the tears seemed to be mostly dry by now. Her red-rimmed eyes lightly glared up at him and she crossed her arms tightly over her body.

“Can I help you?” Her voice was scratchy and her words were punctuated by a sniffle. Spock felt an ache deep in his gut from knowing he had made her feel this way.

“I-“ He paused. Once again he was speechless but he was determined to make this right. “I apologized for the way I behaved. Leaving you there after such an important moment was not the right thing to do and I am sorry for hurting you.” Even as he did his best to keep his tone even he couldn’t help the slight waver in his voice.

“It’s alright, Spock. Honest. I’ll be okay and ready for the mission tomorrow. Like I said we can just go back to normal and forget about it.” She was offering him an out. He knew he could easily just take it and go but part of him, a large part of him refused to give up that easily.

“No.”

“What?”

“I do not wish to return to normal.”

“Oh.” (Y/N) believed this to be the final moment of friendship. He wanted nothing to do with her anymore. “Um, okay. I guess you can just do the mission alone or ask my brother to –“

“You misunderstand. I do not want to return to normal because I reciprocate your feelings of affection.”

Oh. (Y/N) thought. A moment of silence passed between them. Spock watched (Y/N)’s face for any sign of emotion but she seemed frozen. He wouldn’t lie, she thought. Vulcans don’t lie. “You do?” her voice was quieter than she intended, almost a whisper.

Spock took her hand in his larger one. “Of course I do. I believe an adequate way to put it would be you have bewitched me, body and soul.”

(Y/N) couldn’t help the giggle, “So you do listen when I talk about Jane Austin. I thought you found romance novels illogical.”

“Everything about you is illogical, but that is one of the many things I find alluring about you.” They both smiled. (Y/N) had only seen Spock actually smile a few times and each time it was like new life had filled her lungs but this time it was even better knowing that the smile was put there solely for her. And this time, she couldn’t stop herself from kissing that smile even if she tried.

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