#《 it's just sad to think about how bleak her worldview is 》

[magichcuse]

It kinda just hit me that Dedrick's mentality is technically more optimistic than Victoria's?

Like...at least in Dedrick's dichotomy, there are the "idiots" who ARE genuinely nice. To Victoria, there are the men who pretend to be nice but are actually assholes (which she assumed Ozzie was) and the men who are at least upfront about the fact they're assholes (part of why Victoria wanted to marry Damion, outside of punishing herself).

Once Victoria learned that there are genuinely good people out there, it really opened her eyes to how better her life could truly be. Damion isn't a better person for being "honest" about being an asshole; he's still an asshole and Victoria needed to have better standards.

#{behind the magic} | ooc #《 not that I blame Victoria—her dad is a huge prick who sheltered her a lot 》 #《 it's just sad to think about how bleak her worldview is 》 #《 Dedrick believed kindness was stupid; Victoria believed kindness didn't exist AT ALL 》 #《 not a competition either; Dedrick has trauma of his own that is Valid and needs to be unpacked 》 #《 and it helps that Dedrick got to grow up in a different generation where people were less rigid with the rules 》 #《 I can't help but think Theo allowed Dedrick to have some semblance of hope for humanity 》 #《 like Theo gave him Trust Issues but he also went against Damion and genuinely is trying to do what's best 》 #《 the thought of Damion raising Dedrick is terrifying to me 》 #《 Theo might think he's a terrible dad for not being emotionally available for Dedrick 》 #《 but he honestly did fairly good for himself; especially given his paternal figure was a living nightmare who did WORSE than his folks 》 #《 and *gestures at Pat who messed up Vivian by going too far in the other direction* 》 #《 i know I bring up Pat a lot but I think it's funny (and lowkey sad) how Theo thinks Pat is a much better dad than him 》 #《 when that's not really the case at all 》 #《 I'm starting to go off topic and repeating things I already mentioned in other posts whoops 》

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Natasha/Andrei brainrot we’re really in it now, aka Natasha/Andrei playlist annotations!

Honestly the age gap is so inherently uncomfortable it’s difficult for me to really ship this but I think in terms of the REALLY low bar of W&P marriages/almost-marriages, it’s one of the better ones because they at least mutually care about each other. It’s also just devastating on principle!

There are several distinct sections of song on here, this is one of the few I’ve actually put in a significant order, so I’m going to break it down into that.

Part 1: Initial Meeting/Falling In Love The First Time/General

Absolutely Smitten - dodie

“She wants to dance around the room, kiss you until her lips turn blue”

This song really reminds me of their first meeting when they’re both like 👀 at each other. I like how it captures the excitement but also nerves of the girl, which I feel like is an important feature of Natasha’s part of the relationship.

Helpless - Philippa Soo

“Tryin' to catch your eye from the side of the ballroom”

Sorry to all the ex-Hamilton stans I jumpscared with this, but it’s about the Philippa Soo Singing About Falling In Love vibe. Also the quoted lyric reminds me of their iconic dance scene, or at least the bits leading up to that.

To Noise Making (Sing) - Hozier

“Honey, the look of it was as sweet as the sound; Your head tilt back, your funny mouth to the clouds”

This reminds me of the scene where she sings for him and he’s like WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH im in love! I paraphrase, but you get the idea.

Golden Years - David Bowie

“Look at that sky, life's begun”

This is objectively the stupidest song on here. It’s here because I think it’s funny to imagine the iconic Natasha/Andrei dance just being the Golden Years dance from A Knight’s Tale, HOWEVER the quoted lyric is in fact Andreicore.

Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You - The Arctic Monkeys

“And I know we got places to go, we got people to see/Think we both oughta put 'em on hold”

‘Wren there are several songs that are on this playlist AND your Andrei/Pierre playlist’ Thank you for noticing it’s because if Tolstoy can recycle the same lines of dialogue for these relationships I can recycle the same songs! This song is just. I Hate Everyone Except You :) which is deeply Andrei @ both of them. But also like wanting life to stop so you can just hang out with Your People.

Strawberry Blond - Mitski

“I love everybody because I love you”

I’m pretty sure someone once pointed out how this lyric fit Andrei/Natasha once in a post and I cannot for the life of me remember who but that made an impression on me. Mystery person, thanks <3 Also I forgot this was a Mitski song??

The Anchor - Bastille

“Bring me some hope by wandering into my mind”

One of Thee things about their relationship that sticks out to me is how Natasha is so lifelike and her very existence gives Andrei hope for the world. It’s so. It’s so much!

Something After All - Starry

“You’ve turned my world around”

Like I said above, falling in love with Natasha really changes Andrei’s entire worldview! I also think “I've spent years building up walls” is very Andrei, and Natasha kind of brought them down, like what happens in the song.

Cosmic Love - Florence + The Machine

“A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes”

IT’S ABOUT THE SPACE METAPHORS FOR LOVE. THIS IS NO ONE ELSE FROM GREAT COMET’S FAULT.

Cold Cold Man - Saint Motel

“I know I am a cold cold man: quite slow to pay you compliments or public displayed affections”

It’s about being generally not very emotional or expressive but being devoted to the person anyway...very Andrei-ish.

Ophelia - The Lumineers

“I don't feel nothing at all and you can't feel nothing small”

The quoted lyric just seems like a really good summary of their dynamic, but I also think “Heaven help a fool who falls in love” works well for bitter post-elopement vibes, so this song was difficult to place.

Part 2: Andrei Leaving For Abroad

Misbehavin’ - Pentatonix

For some reason this is on both the Nat/Andrei and Natasha playlists and I’m too lazy to change it. Just go look at those annotations.

No One Else - Great Comet

Duh

To a Poet - First Aid Kit

“I got on a plane and flew far away from you, though unwillingly I left”

This song makes me think of Andrei abroad missing Natasha :( Honey you’ve got a big storm coming

Part 3: Post-Elopement Breakup Songs

I Hope Your Husband Dies - Amigo The Devil

“All the distance that we've spent apart will never have to mean a thing”

This song is VERY much Andrei about Anatole. “Now you're with this asshole, you expect me to believe it's going to last” really works because her relationship with Anatole was never going to last, whether or not she knew that. And “I'm not so much afraid of being alone, just kind of feel I've had enough/And time and time again, time reminds me you'll never be my own/We'll never have a house to decorate, a place that we can call our home” as an Andrei thing makes me very sad!!!

Ruins - First Aid Kit

“Ruins, all the things we built assured that they would last”

I think you can safely say their relationship was in ruins after the elopement attempt. I also think “I lost you, didn't I? First I think I lost myself” is something Natasha would think about the whole scenario

Half of My Heart - John Mayer

“Half of my heart's got the right mind to tell you that I can't keep loving you with half of my heart”

I think this is supposed to be more of an “I don’t love you anymore and that’s on me” song, but I like to mentally frame it in the context of Andrei after the elopement refusing to take back Natasha. I also think all the bits about the singer’s love interest changing the singer’s outlook on life before really fits, like “Lonely was the song I sang 'til the day you came, showing me another way”

Love Like Ghosts - Lord Huron

“You don't want me baby please don't lie/Oh but if you're leaving, I gotta know why”

It’s all about the singer being haunted by a love that doesn’t necessarily reciprocate on the same level, and I think that really fits Andrei’s mindset. It breaks my heart to think about him trying to figure out what he did wrong, why he wasn’t enough for Natasha, and so that quoted lyric really makes me just. :(

Cold Day In Heaven - Delta Rae

“Keep thinking bout when we started, so innocent/Your heart was a mess and I was lost in it”

This whole song is so good for them, it’s essentially just a couple being disappointed that their relationship didn’t work out well. The quoted lyric is so. AAAAHHH. because both of their hearts were messes but for different reasons, Andrei was so hopeless and bleak but Natasha was so naive and not ready for it and it’s so. It’s so Much. Also “We watched, the stars fell, and oh you know we let them/We said it’ll never happen, we said it’ll never happen to us/But it’s a cold day in heaven my love” gets me because 1) star/sky references :( and 2) Natasha especially did say it’d never happen to them, she was adamant that she’d love Andrei forever and that uh. I think we all know how well that worked out!

2 Months. - Zach Adkins

Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi

“I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug”

This is kind of a generic betrayal/breakup/I-miss-you song, but I think it works. Especially with “I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain” and the focus on the singer’s lover getting them through difficult times and then abandoning them.

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

“Take me back to the night we met”

I think people are legally obligated to have this song on any playlist for a couple that doesn’t end well. It’s generic but it’s good! The entire Strange Trails album my BELOVED!

Careless Whisper - George Michael

“I should have known better than to cheat a friend and waste a chance that I'd been given, so I'm never gonna dance again the way I danced with you”

UNIRONICALLY THIS SONG. I think it’s the focus on dancing as like a significant marker of the relationship for me, especially given how heavily adaptations focus on their dance at that ball. The quoted lyric reminds me of Natasha’s mindset after all of this. Also “We could have been so good together, we could have lived this dance forever, but now, who's gonna dance with me? Please stay” reminds me of Natasha asking him to forgive her. Not to actually get sad over Careless Whisper but. :,(

With Or Without You - U2

“And you give yourself away”

The quoted lyric is in reference to the elopement in my head, and “I can’t live with or without you” is like. Andrei can’t continue on and let her back into his life, he admits that he can’t forgive her, but he also has no real will to live after she betrays him and goes off to die in war.

Atlantis - Seafret

“We've built this town on shaky ground”

“This town” is in reference to their relationship, and I like the acknowledgment that there was never a great foundation to begin with. And “maybe I’m not built for love” as an Andrei lyric is a little heartbreaking! Other than that it’s just a Breakup Song.

I Don’t Wanna See You Cryin’ Anymore - Adam Melchor

“I don't wanna be the reason you can't trust me like before/My head's in my hands as I'm shaking on the bathroom floor”

This reminds me of Natasha’s deep guilt over her betrayal of Andrei. The implication that Andrei would ever let anyone see him cry is a bit much for me, just ignore that HFJAHDHSH

Part 4: Reconciling While Andrei ✨Dies✨

Fake It - Bastille

“We can never go back, we can only do our best to recreate”

This whole is song is about trying to move forward from bad things in the past with your lover which is the whole vibe! But I also think it shows some reluctance on the part of the singer to forget, and a bit of a desperation to be able to leave the mistakes in the past. “Help me turn a blind eye” really captures that. I like this as the early stages of them reconnecting, because I think it’s realistic to have Andrei especially be wary but wanting it to get better.

Bad Blood - Bastille

“All this bad blood here, won’t you let it dry?”

Letting go of a grudge and trying to move on vibes!

Let It All Go - Birdy, Alvaro Soler

“We’re strong enough to let it go”

All their hurt surrounding the elopement is the Thing they’re letting go of in this case.

Flaws - Bastille

“You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve and I have always buried them deep beneath the ground”

The quoted lyric just feels like their general dynamic to me. Natasha is so open about everything and does indeed wear her heart on her sleeve whereas Andrei represses every emotion he’s ever felt. I think this is a post-elopement song because of “Dig them up; let’s finish what we started”. That feels like them reexamining their relationship and what went wrong and trying again.

Moscow - Autoheart

“All I need’s a fraction of your happy heart”

This song is so 🥺. “We both know what we’ve got to do: head back to where the magic grew” reminds me of them accepting their reconnection and moving on and trying to rekindle whatever was between them. And “Let’s get a dog, an Irish red setter, it’s all we need to get better” feels emblematic of them looking forward to domestic happiness as the solution. And the quoted lyric screams Andrei about Natasha.

The Heart Is A Muscle - Gang of Youths

“I will look at love as more than just an instrument of pain”

Not to be off topic but this whole album is so good every single song makes me feel SHRIMP EMOTIONS god. Also the whole thing is very Andreicore and I had to stop myself from adding every song to his playlist. But I digress. This song is all about having been hurt by love in the past (“I let bad love betray me once”) but deciding to open your heart again which is very them! “I haven't had enough and I wanna love someone” AAAAHHHH. “I am human now and terrified, but want it all the same” Mr. GangOfYouths im going INSANE! “I just ask you to be patient if you’ll have me still” HELLO? Not to quote the whole song but “I wanna be loved, I wanna be whole again, so tuck my hair behind my ears and touch my soul again” as an Andrei/Natasha lyric...I need to sit down. Can you all tell this song makes me go all kinds of crazy. And this isn’t even my favorite song off the album!

Shrike - Hozier

“I couldn’t utter my love when it counted, ah but I’m flying like a bird to you now”

This song feels very “we tried to have a relationship a while ago and it didn’t work out that well but I still love you we could try again” to me which fits this time very well!

Part 5: Andrei Goes Splat :( [And The Aftermath]

Work Song - Hozier

“No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her”

I can’t say what it is exactly, but something about persistent love framed around the death motif works for me here.

Dancing After Death - Matt Maeson

“As the sun waits to eclipse and the taste teases my lips, I'm too tired to wrestle with it”

The quoted lyric reminds me of Andrei giving up and shutting down when he realizes he’s gonna die :( oh ALSO my brain always mentally fills in “and no one else” after the “you and I” that ends the chorus which does NOT help with my depression!

One Last Time - Jaymes Young

“Could I feel your skin on mine before I have to say goodbye?”

SCREAMS SO LOUDLY. The whole song is like. Someone dying and wanting to see their person one last time and AAAAAAAAAAA. I am a little incoherent maybe. “I'm leavin' this cold world of mine, no pleadin' is gonna turn back time” really Gets Me in the context of Andrei accepting his own death and withdrawing and it’s so. Anyway.

Oblivion - Bastille

“When oblivion is calling out your name, you always take it further than I ever can”

I don’t think this is exactly what the song is talking about, but the quoted lyric in the context of Andrei dying and Natasha watching him fade and withdraw...good Lord. I need emotional support.

Haunt - Bastille

“I’ll come back to haunt you/Memories will taunt you”

Natasha being haunted by the memory of Andrei!!! Help me!!!! Also “I will try to love you/It’s not like I’m above you” as a callback to Andrei’s feelings for Natasha when they start to reconnect is so mental illness inducing. OOOH and “Questioning why as you look to the sky that is cloudless up above our heads and thoughts come to mind that our short little lives haven't left the path that they will tread” any lyric ever about looking at the sky is Andrei’s now.

Without You - for KING & COUNTRY

“What do you do when you don't get better/Strong arms get too, get too weak to hold her”

:( :( :( :( :( Also “I’m not ready to live without you” I am so sad.

Good Grief - Bastille

“Every minute and every hour I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more”

Pain! Agony, even!

I made myself SO sad writing the entire last half of these annotations geez

#im so sad im so sad im so sad! #war and peace #great comet #natasha rostova #andrei bolkonksy #uhhh whats their ship name? #w&p playlists #my post #figured out how to do a read more bc this post is so LONG

[tomakeitbeautifultolive]

Hey I was just wondering on your interpretation of Jonerys in the books? Because according to the bad leaks we will get Jon killing Dany, but in the book version its pretty clear that these two will marry and I don't necessarily see how those two things jive with each other, unless we get a literal repeat of the Azor Ahai/Nissa Nissa bs with them🤷🏼‍♀️ Thoughts? Because I have given up hope for the show and need some reassurance on the books after reading all of them plus the history books,,

Look, anon. Even in the fucking show these two have been paralleled to death - in a way that inextricably links their lives together, as seen here and here and here. When you learn that when Ian McElhinney (Barristan Selmy) confronted D&D about how he thought it was too early to kill off his character, it made them want to kill him more, out of spite… it makes it pretty clear what D&D are doing.

In their effort to adhere to shock and subversion… they’ve left mounds of unused foreshadowing all over the place (I’m still working on a master post of unused foreshadowing and plot elements). As you might’ve guessed, Jonerys foreshadowing is among those casualties - such as Dany mentioning she may have to enter in a political marriage at the end of season 6 before setting sail for Westeros, or the four different instances that challenge Dany’s belief that she can’t have children, that her family hasn’t seen its end, and that Longclaw will go to Jon’s children after him. As of right now, none of the leaks indicate that any of this meant anything other than dialogue filler. If it was never intended to amount to anything, then the writers should not have included these lines at all, especially in a show that was cut down from ten episodes to seven. Way, way too much emphasis was put on challenging the notion Daenerys can’t have children. It’s what a good writer might call ‘trimming the fat’ from the story, otherwise, it does nothing but muddy up the story unnecessarily.

Jonerys aside, D&D have killed so much foreshadowing in the series just to make a shocking ending (which by the way, makes no sense at all). I was flabbergasted when I read this quote from 2013:

When I asked Benioff and Weiss if it was possible to infer any overall intentionality to the upcoming 10 episodes, they sneered. “Themes are for eighth-grade book reports,” Benioff told me.

Uh, what?

As you may have seen, I already recently covered why Jon shouldn’t care so much about the incest aspect - in the comments I received, there was a great point about how Jon has borderline romantic feelings toward his cousin Arya (who he believes is his half-sister), tending to think of her when he wonders what his love interest’s (Ygritte) body looks like under all those clothes. In the original outline for the series, Jon and Arya were supposed to end up together or at least be involved in a love triangle with Tyrion.

As you see, in the books, Daenerys has already been groomed for the reality of being wedded to her brother, so her nephew won’t be some grand depature from this. She’s a dragonrider, and if the shows are to be believed, Jon will be, too - and if the majority of fans are to be believed, then there might be something magical about Targaryen blood that makes them different or unique or magical, hence the incest.

When you look at just how finely crafted this book series by GRRM is… it makes it really hard to believe that he’d throw out all of his foreshadowing for shock value.

“It’s easy to do things that are shocking or unexpected, but they have to grow out of characters. They have to grow out of situations. Otherwise, it’s just being shocking for being shocking.”—George R. R. Martin

I think we can all agree that season eight of Game of Thrones is all about futility, shock, nihilism. So, check out this quote:

Q: Early on, one critic described the TV series as bleak and embodying a nihilistic worldview, another bemoaned its “lack of moral signposts.” Have you ever worried that there’s some validity to that criticism?

A: No. That particular criticism is completely invalid. Actually, I think it’s moronic. My worldview is anything but nihilistic.—George R. R. Martin

It was George who said we’d get a bittersweet ending, not D&D. It was George who said he wanted a LotR-style ending, not D&D.

While there are many conflicting quotes out there about GRRM’s ending vs. D&D’s… This recent article published right after episode 3 had some interesting lines:

“Of course you have an emotional reaction. I mean, would I prefer they do it exactly the way I did it? Sure. It can also be… traumatic. Because sometimes their creative vision and your creative vision don’t match, and you get the famous creative differences thing — that leads to a lot of conflict.”—George R. R. Martin

My interpretation currently is that yes, Jonerys is real in the books…

(just as it was in the fucking show until they decided to abandon all preestablished groundwork and foundation) …and has been thoroughly foreshadowed - and not in a tragic way.

First of all, the series is called ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ - while this stands for many things from literal to metaphorical, I’d say it absolutely encompasses Jon and Dany. I have some very unpopular ideas that ice actually represents Daenerys and fire, Jon. Whether or not I’m right about that, we have some hints that Jon will ultimately accept his Targaryen identity…

Subtle clue about who he is, in one of his true house’s colors:

“The next time I see you, you’ll be all in black.”Jon forced himself to smile back. “It was always my color.”

He idolizes historical Targaryens:

“Daeren Targaryen was only fourteen when he conquered Dorne,” Jon said. The Young Dragon was one of his heroes.

He’d pretend to be Targaryens while playing as a child:

“I’m Prince Aemon the Dragonknight,” Jon would call out.

For Daenerys, we get this curious line:

“Mother of dragons, bride of fire…”

Bride could also be metaphorical in some way, sure, but let’s just say it’s literal. Jon is the dragon, the fire.

Okay, so for the books, I’ll try to hit the bullet points:

First and foremost, the pair are incredibly similar, both stepping into positions of rule after immersing themselves into a foreign culture, adapting to their way of life before making allies. Both Jon and Daenerys make grave mistakes while wielding power, and they learn from their mistakes. They’re being shaped into rulers.

Both fall in love, yet still feel alone:

“Her captain slept beside her, yet she was alone.” / "Even with Ygritte sleeping beside him, he felt alone.“

Daenerys dreams of her lover:

“It was never Jorah Mormont she dreamed of; her lover was always younger and more comely, though his face remained a shifting shadow.”

Jon is described as a shadow:

“A shadow half-seen behind a fluttering curtain.” / “He would be condemned to be an outsider, the silent man standing in the shadows”

Daenerys also dreams of life as a wife and mother:

“In her dream they had been man and wife, simple folk who lived a simple life in a tall stone house with a red door.”

Both dream of children they will never have:

“I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms.” / "I will never have a little girl.“

From Jon’s first chapter, there are hints that Benjen knows his identity and that family might someday be important to Jon:

"You don’t know what you’re asking, Jon. The Night’s Watch is a sworn brotherhood. We have no families. None of us will ever father sons. Our wife is duty. Our mistress is honor. You are a boy of fourteen, not a man, not yet. Until you have known a woman, you cannot understand what you would be giving up.”

“I don’t care about that!” Jon said hotly.

“You might, if you knew what it meant,” Benjen said. “If you knew what the oath would cost you, you might be less eager to pay the price, son.”

We have those quotes from Maester Aemon, that hint that Jon might choose love or a child over duty:

“What is honor compared to a woman’s love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms … or the memory of a brother’s smile? Wind and words. Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy.”

While yes, Aemon hints that it is both glory and tragedy, we’re coming off a long, long line of tragic Targaryen love stories - the difference here being that one of these Targaryens is out to break the wheel that destroyed so many of these star-crossed, doomed Targaryens loves (Rhaegar/Lyanna, Duncan/Jenny, Daemon/Daenerys, Aemon/Naerys, etc).

Blue roses are linked to Lyanna Stark or even House Stark in general. In a vision, Daenerys sees:

“A blue flower grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness.”

Meanwhile, there is foreshadowing that Dany will help Jon’s effort against the white walkers with lines like these:

“He might as well wish for another thousand men, and maybe a dragon or three.”

Daenerys, herself, has a weird moment with some ants while she wakes in the Dothraki Sea, brushing them off of her body as they swarm over a wall:

“To them these tumbledown stones must loom as huge as the Wall of Westeros. The biggest wall in all the world, her brother Viserys used to say, as proud as if he’d built it himself.”

Around the same time, Jon is killed, whispering to his wolf:

“Ghost,” he whispered. Pain washed over him. He gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold…

Meanwhile, after ‘opening her third eye’ with some berries, Daenerys hears the call of a wolf all the way over in Essos:

“Off in the distance, a wolf howled. The sound made her feel sad and lonely.”

We can extrapolate that this is, in fact, Ghost… as first, there don’t seem to be wolves in the Dothraki Sea, but also this line from Bran also provides context:

“Here in the chill damp darkness of the tomb his third eye had finally opened. He could reach Summer whenever he wanted, and once he had even touched Ghost and talked to Jon.”

Now that we know Jon’s true name (at least according to the show), this curious line from Daenerys also hints she might marry Jon:

“A crown should not sit easy on the head. One of her royal forebears had said that, once. Some Aegon, but which one? Five Aegons had ruled the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros. There would have been a sixth, but the Usurper’s dogs had murdered her brother’s son when he was still a babe at the breast. If he had lived, I might have married him.”

Meanwhile, Jon is infatuated with Val, a woman who sounds an awful lot like a precursor to Daenerys, who is a warrior woman with silver-pale hair… Jon is also reminded of Val’s hips and breasts and that she’s 'well made for whelping children’…

“The light of the half-moon turned Vals honey-blond hair a pale silver and left her cheeks as white as snow. She took a deep breath. The air tastes sweet.”

“Lonely and lovely and lethal, Jon Snow reflected, and I might have had her.”

“A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.”

As for GRRM, he told a helpful clue to director Alan Taylor circa season one of Game of Thrones:

“Anyways, he alluded to the fact that Jon and Dany were the point, kind of. That, at the time, there was a huge, vast array of characters, and Jon was a lowly, you know, bastard son. So it wasn’t clear to us at the time, but he did sort of say things that made it clear that the meeting and the convergence of Jon and Dany were sort of the point of the series. So, I was happy that a big step forward was taken in the episode I got to do this season is where he has fallen for her both, you know, emotionally and politically I think.”

But that’s not all. I did write a meta about the mother goddess Danu and her parallels with Dany - and this, to me, rings much more true to who Daenerys is in the books rather than whatever impostor is parading around in Dany’s skin on screen in season eight.

There is a lot of proof that GRRM puts a LOT of thought and detail into his books - even down to the Starks ‘howling’ and ‘growling’ and the Lannisters ‘roaring’. I’ve uncovered a cool trend where many of the names he assigns to characters reflect their numerological gemstone house colors - and the names he chooses all shed some light on the characters they are given to, such as Bran meaning ‘raven’ or Sandor meaning ‘defender of man’ or Gendry meaning ‘son-in-law’.

I’ve done a lot of thinking about these things, and I just cannot see GRRM throwing out all of his foreshadowing or all of the clever little things he’s been hinting at since book once, all for the sake of shock value or subverting expectations… That’s not his style and he speaks out against it.

Bearing that in mind, the clear mad queen is Cersei, who shares virtually every parallel to Aerys Targaryen - the way she tortures parent and child chained just out of reach from one another, the way torture sexually excites her, the way she was tortured into madness, and straight down to her wildfire use. Daenerys better fits the archetype of an anti-hero rather than a straight villain. With only two books left and still no signs of madness… I just don’t see it going down this way in the books.

As for whatever just happened with Daenerys, I’ve been given a compelling argument that in the books, as she squares off with (f)Aegon Targaryen, or, Young Griff, in an effort to expose the Mummer’s Dragon, she might accidentally set off these wildfire traps that make her look just like her father, and perhaps she even goes a little mad with grief.

Especially considering that ASOIAF is so heavily based on Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn, which share countless parallels, such as:

Norn (White foxes)  → The Others (White walkers)

Sithi (Dawn children) → Singers (Children of the forest)

Witchwood  → Weirwood

The Storm King → Night’s King

Ineluki → Azor Ahai

Sorrow → Lightbringer

Black iron → Dragonglass

Nisse → Nissa Nissa

Hayholt Castle → Winterfell Castle

Green Angel Tower → Winterfell Crypts

Simon Snowlock (secret heritage) → Jon Snow

Princess Miriamele (disguised as a boy) → Arya Stark

Warring brothers King Elias/Josua → Stannis/Renly

Tailed star → Red comet

Black priest Pryrates → Red priest Melisandre

Daenerys is suspected to be the Princess Maegwin figure, a woman who “is forced to watch as forces conquer her people and is eventually driven to madness in her desperation to save them.”

You make a good point about Fire & Blood and ASOIAF prehistory, too. Aside from the doomed Targaryen love stories I mentioned earlier, we get another history book that basically gives us a rundown of various Targaryen ladies who never got to be queen. I’d say this book has a strong feminist message - and might even hint that the last vestige of House Targaryen just might accomplish what her foremothers could not - finally becoming the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.

Lastly, I’ll leave you with a clip from the man, himself, about Dany:

“From my mother’s stories, I always had this kind of sense that I was like disinherited royalty. Here was this dock that my great-grandfather built - it wasn’t ours anymore. Here was this house that my mother had been born in - we didn’t own this house anymore. We didn’t own any house, we had an apartment. So it was like, ugh, I came from greatness - like Dany! And I will take back what is mine with Fire and Blood! I think on some level, that must’ve gotten to me.”—George R. R. Martin

I could be wrong about all of this, of course… but that’s my current take. 🤷

#answered #got leaks #got spoilers #jonerys #anti got #anti d&d #yeah my friend is still over but caught a quick nap lol #I will get to messages and such later ♥

[tanchimo]

34, 39 (Any OC you want to talk about!)

i’ll go with my Dragon Age OC, Neria, thank you!!!

34. How do they understand the world–what kind of worldview and thought processes do they have? Why?

oh my god Chelle, you really just came right in for the kill with the first question, huh

well for the first majority of her life, everything was pretty much decided for her by the Chantry, so she kind of just followed along with that to avoid causing issues. but after that, being thrust into this huge war so her thought process pretty sharply shifted to a more tactical mindset for sake of survival and keeping her friends alive. I wouldn’t say she has a bleak worldview, but she has definitely seen the worst of it so it’s like on the sad end of realistic, if that makes sense haha.

39. What sort of questions or thoughts recur in their lives, either specifically or as a theme? Why are these never answered, or answered permanently to their satisfaction?

okay well apart from the very recurrent ‘why me??’, I guess the only real recurring theme I can think of for her is the question about the Blights and the taint, and trying to find a cure for the Wardens. considering the games have all but forgotten their first protagonist, any sort of resolution will have to come from fanfiction haha

thank you so much Chelle!!!!

#ask meme #oc tag: neria surana #chelle you are a gift #thathilomgirl

[prissyhalliwell]

The Fairy Gardener

Chapter Summary: A proper fairy would never use the Dark One’s silk shirt for a blanket. Then again, Belle has never been a typical fairy. 

Read on AO3

CHAPTER TEN

Belle flew up to her little nest on top of the corner bookshelf in the library and threw herself onto the silken sheets. She was exhausted, despite it still being early in the day.

Her bed was the most comfortable thing she’d ever slept in, made up of an old silk shirt of Rumple’s that she’d snuck out of his wardrobe in the West Wing a few days ago, hoping the soft material would help her sleep better. She hadn’t slept well for over two weeks now, ever since Rumple had saved her from Blue and she had kissed him.

It had only been a little peck on the cheek, a sign of gratitude for what he had done. At least, that’s what she had thought when she’d done it. But as she’d quietly rejoiced over her escape from Blue, her own cheeks still warm from the daring kiss she’d given him, her thoughts had turned to the future and what it may have in store for her.

Certain fantasies, like achieving her mission of finally defeating Blue, remained unchanged. But somehow, her daydreams had shifted that day, adding a new element that hadn’t ever been there before: Rumple.

That was the day he had ceased to be Rumplestiltskin and had become Rumple. Her Rumple.

But the sad fact was he wasn’t hers. The way he had run away from her, not to be seen again until almost a full day later, had made that clear.

She hadn’t thought much of his missing lunch and afternoon tea  - he often got distracted by projects - and even though she’d been a little lonely at dinner, she’d still told herself it had nothing to do with the kiss or the fact that he’d disappeared from the room immediately after.

It was only when he’d missed their nightly ritual of reading together - a time she knew they both valued highly - that she’d realized her impulsive display of affection might have cost her dearly.

Suddenly, the idea of spending forever with a man who could never return her feelings was too bleak to contemplate. So of course, she’d lain the whole night awake, thinking of that very thing.

The next morning, he’d shown up as if nothing had changed. As if Belle’s entire worldview hadn’t shifted on its axis. He’d been awkward, fumbling for conversation when it usually came natural to them.

It hadn’t been until the next morning that he’d finally gotten up the courage to ask her what was wrong. She’d told him, in a fashion. She hadn’t corrected him when he jumped to conclusions, not really wanting to be any more vulnerable with him than she already was. Letting him know how she truly felt was unimaginable at this point, even if she suspected he already had an inkling of what was going on. One didn’t live through three centuries without picking up some wisdom about women, after all.

The only good thing to come from all of this had been Jefferson’s visits. Belle wasn’t naive; she knew Rumple had invited the Hatter to tea - at least the first time - in order to cheer her up. She now supposed that he regretted that decision, but it just made her care even more for him that he put up with Jefferson’s presence for her sake.

Even if he didn’t feel the same way, it was obvious he did hold some sort of affection for her. She couldn’t decide if that made her feel better or worse. Better in that he did regard her as special, but worse if it meant he saw her as some kind of little sister.

Without Jefferson’s occasional visits, her thoughts might have driven her mad. But Jefferson was always a fun diversion, made even more so by his strange effect on Rumple. She knew not to read too much into it, but it had certainly seemed as if Rumple was jealous of all the attention she was giving her new friend. It was understandable, of course, since he didn’t have many friends. Apart from herself and Jefferson - and perhaps on a good day, Regina - she didn’t think he had any. He’d been used to having her attention all to himself and it was only natural that he should be jealous, in a strictly platonic way. She knew better than to get her hopes up.

Pulling the silk shirt around her as she sat, she rubbed her face against it, breathing in the familiar scent. It was irrational and if he ever caught her with it, she’d never be able to look him in the face again, let alone explain why. She didn’t even know completely why herself, but the feel of the fabric against her skin and the familiar smell of him comforted her in a way that made her feel safe.

How in the world had she gotten herself into this mess? A normal fairy wouldn’t have been caught dead talking to the Dark One, while Belle worked for, lived with, and had now developed feelings for him.

She flopped down on the silk, bursting into tears. She was a terrible, terrible fairy.

The entire matter was ridiculous. Rumple was the the Dark One. He was temperamental, moody, and sly. He was also funny, intelligent, and occasionally even sweet, but only as long as he didn’t think she noticed. Simple things, like leaving one of the windows open in the Great Hall so that she could easily travel from the garden into the castle. She’d tried to thank him once, but he’d merely batted away her words, saying he was tired of the poor air circulation in the castle.

He’d saved her from Blue, too.  

Blue had offered to make a deal with him, an unprecedented event in the history of the Enchanted Forest. Their leader had certainly drilled that rule into all young fairies’ heads - a deal with the Dark One was never, ever an option. Yet, here was Blue, willing to make one.

The memory caused Belle to shiver. For not the first time, she wondered if Blue suspected what she was up to. The odds were certainly slim, despite the evidence hidden in her pocket. No one had been around the night she had snuck into Blue’s private archives back home in the Golden Glen. No one had been around when her whole world had turned upside down and she’d realized everything she had been taught was a lie.

Blue had only come to find her after she had been recognized by two of her fellow trainees, Tinker Bell and Nova, at the fountain. While they’d obviously ratted her out, she’d realized she couldn’t be too angry at them for it. If she were in their place, wouldn’t she have been alarmed to see a friend of hers with the Dark One? And not only with him, but traveling around in his shirt pocket?

No, she couldn’t blame them. They had been lied to the same as she had. But one day, they would know the truth. She’d made a promise the night she’d left and she intended to keep it, despite feeling no closer to an answer now than she had been then.

The idea to break into the Dark Castle had been a silly one, though at the time she supposed she hadn’t been thinking very clearly, still fresh off of learning of Blue’s betrayal. As she should have suspected, breaking into the Dark One’s home was no easy feat, and she’d spent several nights wandering around the grounds, trying to find a weakness in the castle’s defense that would let her in. She’d been convinced that the answers she sought would be found in Rumplestiltskin’s legendary library, rumored to contain even more knowledge than the library back at headquarters.

Between her time prowling the grounds, she’d taken time to spruce up the garden, disgusted by its lack of care. Each evening when she’d wake up, she’d find her work violently undone, her rose bushes burned to a crisp during the daylight.

As horribly as her other quest was going, it had become a point of pride to ensure the garden’s survival. When Rumplestiltskin had discovered her that final night, she had been near to exploding with frustration, her anger allowing her to talk back to the monster all fairies had been trained to fear since they were babes.

Strangely, he had seemed to respect her defiance and she’d wound up with a job and a place to stay. She hadn’t felt bad about promising to give him information about Blue, because hadn’t Blue broken that trust first?

Belle let out a deep sigh. All of that seemed so long ago now. So much had happened since and she was torn about what her next steps should be. She’d spent hours upon hours going through the Dark Castle’s library, hoping to find the information she sought. But Rumple’s library was legendary in part because of its overwhelming size. Despite her careful searching, she had yet to find any information that could help her bring down Blue.

And then of course, there was her secret weapon. It was hidden in her pocket as always, her own magic cloaking it from Rumple’s detection. Despite the fact that it was only half of a whole, Belle had learned that it still contained enough magic to knock her on her ass should she attempt to use it. She knew this because it had, in fact, sent her flying twelve feet through the forest brush when she had attempted a spell. She wasn’t in a rush to try again.

Though she longed to ask Rumple about it, she knew she couldn’t take the chance. As much as she cared for him, she still didn’t know if she could trust him with her secrets. The stakes were just too high.

Things had improved somewhat between them the last couple days. They’d resumed their nightly reading sessions to Belle’s equal delight and despair. She was glad to have their special time together back, but it also reminded her that this was all they would ever have.

There would be no reading tonight, however, as Rumple had gone to check on the Jekylls again and wouldn’t be back until late. He’d offered to bring Belle along with him, but she’d declined. As much as she ached to go along on another adventure, the events surrounding the strange man who had split himself in half gave her the eeriest of feelings. She’d rather stay in and do some more research than be around something so unsettling.

The sound of loud cawing broke through Belle’s thoughts. She sat up, glancing down to the window, which overlooked part of the garden, to see what was creating so much noise.

The sight made her cry out with alarm.

A large crow, at least one and half times the size of normal, was tearing up one of her flower beds with its beak.

She jumped up from her bed, nearly tripping on the silk that had wrapped itself around her foot, and flew off to the Great Hall and its open window.

Without fairy dust, Belle didn’t have a ton of magic, but she had a couple tricks up her sleeve. If she needed to, she could even grow full-size. She’d wait to do that though. One never knew when Rumple would pop up, and it would be just her luck that he’d show up then.

While Belle had never technically lied to him about her rank in fairy society, neither had she corrected him when he’d assumed she was a run-of-the-mill garden fairy. He’d seemed much more comfortable with that idea, and so she’d never told him what close company she’d actually kept with Blue, as she’d been training to be a fairy godmother.

Belle flew straight into the garden, her anger making her brave. The crow was clawing at her beloved roses now. She concentrated, sending magic hurtling towards the rose bush. Its thorns grew in size and sharpness, and the crow let out a squawk of pain as the thorns pierced its body. The bird leapt away from the bush and stared at it before raising its head and looking around the garden, its gaze landing on Belle.

She’d expected the crow to ignore her. Being much smaller than it was, she knew she hardly looked threatening. However, the bird seemed to be studying her closely, cocking its head as it looked her over. She was unsure what was happening until the crow let out a triumph “caw” and started flying towards her at breakneck speed.

Belle dove, but by then, it was too late to outrun the beast. The bird caught her in its claws, holding her tight. She squirmed, trying to break free, but the crow’s surprisingly powerful grip held her fast.

Her heart pounding, she squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to grow big. Nothing happened. As the seconds ticked by, she grew even more frightened. Her terror was so intense that it became impossible to concentrate on her magic over the panic that was quickly taking over.

Its prey secure, the crow began to fly towards the garden wall with Belle in tow. Realizing there was only one option left to her, she cried out, “Rumplestiltskin, Rumplestiltskin, Rum- “

He appeared before she finished the summons, his face quickly turning into a thundercloud as he took in the situation.

“Oh no, dearie,” he spat, sending a blast of purple magic through the air towards the crow. The bird lost its grip on Belle and they both went tumbling to the ground, falling short of the wall by only a few feet.  

Rumple walked forward, scooping Belle up with one hand, and leveling the other at the crow.

“You go home and tell your mistress that Belle is mine,” he hissed. “If you come after her again, I will personally stuff you and mount you on my wall.”

Belle didn’t miss the look of comprehension in the bird’s eye. It cawed once and flew off as fast as its wings could take it.

Rumple brought her close, his anger abruptly vanishing as his eyes roamed over her to check for injuries. “Are you alright? I won’t let her harm you.”

“I’m fine, really.” Belle gave him a tremulous smile. “We seem to be making a habit of this. You saving my life, I mean.”

Rumple shrugged, clearly uncomfortable. “It’s easier than getting a new gardener. Good help is so hard to find these days.”

Belle nodded, not trusting herself to speak or to call him out on such an obvious lie.

She held close to Rumple as he teleported them into the Great Hall. When he summoned her bed from the library onto the table, Belle’s heart stopped cold.

“I was wondering where that shirt went...nevermind, I have several others. I’ll make you some proper sheets one of these days.” He set her down next to the bed, his brows furrowed in concern. “You sure you’re alright?”

Belle could only nod in response. The near miss with the crow, followed by Rumple’s complete obliviousness to why she slept with his shirt had left her head spinning.

“I think I just need to sit down,” she replied faintly.

“Yes, good idea.” He scooped her up carefully and placed her in the bed, tucking her into his own shirt. “Just lie here and rest. Call upon me if you need anything.”

“Rumple, I’m fine,” she said, trying to sit up. He immediately held out a finger to gently, but firmly, push her back down on the bed.

“Rest.”

“I don’t have the flu!” she said, rolling her eyes at him. He was being ridiculous. She didn’t want to rest. The moment Rumple left her alone, she was going to find a private space to practice growing human-sized again. The fact that she hadn’t been able to do so in such a life-threatening moment scared her more than the crow’s attempted kidnapping or whoever Rumple thought was behind the attack.

He glowered at her. “Stay. There.”

Then he stepped away from her, his demeanor changing faster than she could comprehend. Gone was the soft, worried expression he’d worn while fretting over her, replaced with something darker and more sinister. She could feel his anger now, spreading out into the air around them like electricity.

“I’ll be back soon,” he promised. “There’s a meddlesome fool that needs dealing with. It might get...late.”

S could only nod. This was the Dark One at full power, his rage wrapped around him like a cloak. He disappeared from the room without another word. 

Belle shivered. Whoever was on the receiving end of Rumple’s wrath wasn’t going to live to regret it.

Author’s Notes: This chapter was inspired by ideas and comments by @rumple-belle​ and @pinchtheprincess​ from *cough* a really long time ago *cough*. I’ve included them below to give proper credit: 

@rumple-belle​: I just had this image of like some mean ugly crow trying to catch her and getting her cornered and Rumple comes out of nowhere and saves her. Maybe she even yells for him and does the thing where she says his name 3 times. But she doesn't think it will work because he's out making a deal. Of course it does though.

@pinchtheprincess​: The silk handkerchief! That’s wonderful. Or maybe one of his older silk shirts that he was going to get rid of … AND IT SMELLS LIKE HIM. And she’s a fairy so she’s not supposed to like the smell of the Dark One, but she does.

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #rumplestiltskin #belle french #fairy belle #The Fairy Gardener

[vermiculus-incipiens]

OOC INFORMATION:

What's your name? Elm.

Preferred pronouns: She/hers.

Timezone: CET (CEST during summer).

IC INFORMATION:

Character Name: Sirius III Orion Black.

What's a hobby or pastime that your character enjoys? The pulse beating hard as the sweat runs down your neck, lungs aching for air, your steps only guided by the moonshine; in the darkness, everything can be a foe, a friend, and the rush of adrenaline of the potential threat makes Sirius feel alive, makes his ever present-fears and high alert reasonable, for a change. The roaring of the engine, straddling the beauty, spoiled with time and money. Freedom, his mind screams as he takes to the roads, soaring in every twist of the road, feeling like gravity wants to pull him off the road. And that pleasant surge of… feelings; fear, happiness, freedom again, when the wheels lift, and he takes to the air, the sky above. Anything's possible, then, in the company of the stars, and he's one of them. Despite what they say, and as they'd always had said. Books weren't a thing that Remus had introduced in Sirius's life; he had often loved browsing the rows of bookshelves in the library back in the house he had spent his childhood. The titles, the covers of the books always held so much mystery, so much potential. Adventures inspire dangerous thoughts, ideas and philosophies to nurture them. Of course, Orion and Walburga hadn't housed books that rallied in defence of the Muggles and the marginalised but reading about how purists wanted the world to behave, indeed, helped create a rebel. Sirius likes books, still. Pamphlets penned by rebels and activists, stories about the bleakness of the world, the injustice, but he equally loved the fiction, the adventures, the classics. When his mind allows him the peace to sit down, it never really does. Drawing, then. It lets his energy out through the movements of his hand, yet it requires the form of attention that Sirius desires, that kind of where he just gets wrapped up in something and forget about anything else but to be in the here and now. His running and motorcycling do that, yes, but not in the same tranquil triumph of drawing, of finishing a piece.

Do you have any preferred ships or anti-ships? Ships I can name that I like are Sirius/Remus and James/Sirius. However, I'm open-minded. I am open to the possibility of any ship, no matter gender and sex, and I do not have any known anti-ships.

What do you think your character's Boggart would be? If their greatest fear isn't something that could easily take a solid form, what is it? Why? A gravestone with James Potter carved into it. That is Sirius's fear. He is not having James in his life. It's possibly quite possessive, and it is very unhealthy, his dependency on James. But James, James brought life. Who would Sirius be if he hadn't met James? James showed him what unconditional love is and how a healthy home life looks. James made it possible for Sirius to turn into the person he wanted instead of the statue his parents had tried to chisel him into. So a life without James? Sirius can hardly picture it. No, that's not true; he can picture it. Does it often. Imagines how he would find out James had died on a mission or been hunted down or that James would tire of Sirius and his moods, his inability to become this good, righteous person that he and Remus were, that he wouldn't be able to cope anymore with Sirius' addictions and traumas and the various ways they manifest themselves. The absence of James, then, more than some finite gravestone. James exists in his memories, only.

What's your character's biggest pet peeve? People assuming that they know him or that they are friends. Sirius has an outgoing, easygoing personality. He likes to chat and have fun, but just because you are one of the pub mates or someone Sirius talks to doesn't mean that you know him or are friends. Relationships are something Sirius isn't good at all, neither handling them, maintaining them or accepting them and letting them get close. He's very ambivalent about the relationships in his life, and the only friends he acknowledges as thus are the Marauders and Lily. All the other people in his life? Well, they are… people in his life. Terms such as friendship or lovers are just too much, making stuff real and scary and bothersome. He also dislikes when people assume to know who he is simply by the name he bears.

What would you consider to be an eccentricity of your character? Sirius deviates from the established pattern or norm in that he tries to unsubscribe from the norms of society. It isn't easy, especially when it comes to matters like purity and superiority and the importance of your family name, but more manageable when it comes to other things. In today's terms, Sirius would probably label himself as pansexual, genderfluid and/or non-binary. Sirius doesn't care about your sex and gender, but your heart, soul and brain and he can't understand why certain clothes or hobbies or mannerisms should only be worn/done/acted by men or women. Sirius certainly would have been part of the flower power movement if he had been a teen and young adult in the '60s. Why shouldn't he be able to wear that skirt, or have flowers in his hair, or paint his nails, or use makeup? What's wrong with shagging a bloke or loving him, or a girl, or multiple people at once? Gender is a social construct, don't you know.

What is/was your character's favorite subject in school? Why? Transfiguration, because Professor McGonagall became a sort of mother figure for him, and he liked the challenges of transfiguration and the brain work it required. Charms, because it was fun and whimsical yet complex to keep his interest. Care of Magical Creatures because it was outdoors, practical, and a 'nonsense' subject that had irked his parents he had picked instead of something more beneficial.

What time of day is your character's favorite? What time of year? Dawn, because the troubles of the night are being chased away, and before him, an unkissed promise is blossoming. Sirius likes most of the seasons for what they are. Although summers are still tainted by the anxiousness of returning to the house for many years, it is also the buzzing, giddy sense of freedom, life ahead, and camaraderie and acceptance. But autumn is possibly the one Sirius enjoys the most. It's something comforting and reassuring with the world preparing to go to sleep only to blossom come spring, and besides being the time he, at last, went back to Hogwarts, he likes the cosiness of it. Tea and blankets and the rain is chattering on the windows. The crisp air, the colours. The feeling that you're about to keep walking down the path where you, at last, will find the life you're seeking to live.

What's your character's Patronus? If they can't conjure one, what would it be if they could? Why? A big, black dog, like his animagi form.

What is your character's biggest vice (bad habit or immoral craving)? Oh, what isn't. Substance abuse, arrogance, prejudice, black&white worldview, rashness to the point of danger for him and/or others, a streak of cruelty and coldness and not caring what happens to relationships and people, hot-tempered, selfish to a degree.

Is your character an introvert or extrovert? How well do they handle social situations? Sirius is an extrovert. Since childhood, he has been trained to be able to socialise, carry conversations, and be a good representative as the heir of the Black house. Luckily for him, he wasn't an introvert forced to be a people person; Sirius was born an extrovert. He handles loneliness poorly, yet he craves it as he oft pushes people away that gets too close. He is the one that wants to spend all the time with you to the point you tire and enjoy some alone time. He is scared of abandonment and becomes too clingy and invested in the few relationships he cares about. Sirius always has no problems being social around the clock; he can be charming, fun, and charismatic. You have a higher chance of getting that good side if he wants you to have that experience.

What is your character's diet like? What's his or her favorite food? Oh, piss poor. Sirius has never had to learn to cook for himself. At home, they had the house-elves, at school, they had the house-elves, when he lived with the Potters, well, they had Mrs. Potter (and house-elves, if they had them). He ate reasonably well back then, but his diet went to hell as soon as he got his flat from the inheritance when he was 17. A cig and a coffee for breakfast, and often that could be pretty much it for the day. If it isn't, it's takeaways or dinner at the pubs and restaurants or perhaps a toast or two at home. He loves the Sunday roasts at the Potters, and he misses the Beef Wellington and Trifles from home.

How do you think your character's psychological issues have manifested and changed your character up to this point? Sirius has always lived with psychological issues. Sirius's disorganised attachment to his parents growing up has shaped Sirius and his changes up to adulthood. Sirius has always felt anxiety during mellow, peaceful moments and usually tends to busy himself to push away the problematic emotions he doesn't want to deal with. He tends to feel sad and empty even though James and the Marauders show their support and love for him. Sirius doesn't trust easily and is hyper-vigilant about his surroundings, another reason he has such trouble relaxing. He has a tendency to be drawn to harmful situations and bad people for the thrill. The rush of feeling alive and the relationships he has in various degrees of success has often been with other people with similar issues that can manage on their own and want to manage on their own and in that way doesn't have any demands on him. Closeness to Sirius has come to be connected with something dangerous, threatening due to him never knowing in what mood his parents would be and what emotions and reactions he would meet in his interactions with them. When he's facing similar situations now as an adult that feels similar to the experiences of his past, and it can suddenly feel not like a typical argument between two adults but flashbacks to his childhood, causing him to react in defence in the way he did as a child; rebellion, anger, coldness, withdrawal. Sirius often makes himself emotionally unavailable and has plenty of sexual contacts, be it temporary liaisons or longer relationships. Sirius hasn't changed but instead adopted the issues he's had to deal with since childhood. It's always been a part of him. He doesn't recognise his various coping mechanisms and the way he acts as something necessarily caused by his traumas and experiences throughout his life. His quick temper, his taste for recklessness, his desire to both be loved and be close to someone and push them away and emotionally shut down, his streaks of coldness and carelessness, his prejudices, his whole personality and worldview, it all has turned the way it has due to the life he has lived.

 Give us a headcanon for your character. Anything is acceptable. Sirius misses his family. He wishes that he could feel indifference towards them because that would mean he had no emotions invested at all in them any longer, but he doesn't. Anger and hatred, yes, but also longing, wistfulness, a bit of love, too. Growing up in the Black household was traumatic; it was full of superiority, blood purity, dark artefacts, and people not knowing how to express emotions and maintain relationships healthily. But they were also a family, a family unit. The best family, the Royals of the British Wizarding community. It was them against everyone else. And a mother's love towards her sons and a desire to make them as best as they could be in her mind. And a father whose approval and pride made you feel like you were tumbling in the night sky they all worshipped so much. Christmases with aunts and uncles and cousins and luxurious Christmas food, presents, and what felt like some warmth and love and doting underneath the scheming, the properness, the cold masks, the closed-off-ness so to be able to behave as one ought to, no matter if it was towards a child, family or the rest of society. Yes, Sirius misses it. Sometimes wonder if he indeed chose the right path; what would he have become if he hadn't willed the Sorting Hat to be placed in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin, the Hat's first suggestion? He would have been a Prince, but would he feel complete? Would he feel like he had found his place in the world? Would he feel not restless, for once?

#VIAccepted #Accepted #Closed Character #Sirius Black

[twilightknight17]

Looking back at Persona 1 & 4 with context from 5. Because I’m working on fic and stuff got psience-y all of a sudden and I need to sort my head.

Specifically, looking back at Maki and Adachi, but really all of 4′s dungeons sort of qualify for analysis I think. I’m not sure if it works to go back and try to understand the older stuff in the context of the newer stuff, but I’m gonna do it anyway.

So, 4′s dungeons are clearly something separate from Palaces, even if the distinction is only slight. It’s actually really fitting for them to be called dungeons in the first place, since they’re a manifestation of the imprisonment of the inner self. The P4 kids have their inner selves locked away, and while that can definitely be attributed to outside sources of pressure, it’s more of an internal conflict, and isn’t severe enough to distort their entire worldview the way that a Palace is formed. The dungeons themselves are still based on a warped impression of something, though. I dunno if I want to go all into that, but for example, Yukiko’s Castle could probably be the inn. That’s an analysis for another time, though.

On that note, Futaba’s “Palace” is actually a dungeon, since she’s suppressing her true self and eventually faces her shadow. The dungeon formed self-contained, without a hub, because the hub of the TV lobby was created from Izanami’s influence, but it’s still closer to a P4 dungeon than the other Palaces. There’s no rule that says a suppressed shadow-self has to be bad traits. Futaba was suppressing the part of herself that was good, because she convinced herself that she killed her mom and wasn’t worth being alive. She confronted her shadow and it became her persona, just like the P4 kids. There wasn’t even a Treasure to steal.

Neverminding Morgana’s weird brush-off that Futaba was the Treasure. I sort of take that to mean that Morgana doesn’t necessarily understand everything, so he’s trying to fit everything into the framework of it being a “Palace” even when it’s something different. Futaba isn’t a Treasure, but Morgana doesn’t know what to call it when there isn’t one, so he reverts to what he does know.

(Could we guess that the P4 dungeons didn’t collapse the way the Palaces did because of Izanami’s influence? Sure. Let’s go with that.)

So then, Adachi’s area is more of a Palace than a dungeon. His distorted worldview is of Inaba as a destroyed, empty shell of itself with himself lording over it. He sees nothing of value there because he can’t picture anything good in his life. He subconsciously rejects all of it with an incredibly bleak, cynical outlook, which the Golden anime really gets across in his episode. He ends up merging with his shadow and manifesting a corrupt persona because of that distortion.

(Palace rulers aren’t suppressing their true self the way that a dungeon prisoner is. Would something similar to Adachi’s situation have happened if, for example, Kamoshida or Shido had entered their own Palace? A fight against a ruler with a corrupted persona, instead of just the shadow self?)

The anime version also gives us an analogue to Adachi’s Treasure. When his fight is over, Yu shows him his mug from the destroyed Dojima house, putting it with the other three and telling him that he’d always had a place there (or something like that). That could be it. That mug could represent his desire, the one thing that he liked and wanted to hold on to: his relationship with Dojima and Nanako that he felt like Yu had stolen from him. And they didn’t have to steal it, because they actually had the real person there and they could confront the core of the issue, rather than just taking out the shadow version alone.

(Minds can change without stealing the Treasure, after all. Sae’s did. I’m probably stretching this but w/e.)

So lastly is Maki, who is an incredibly unique case. The DEVA System gave access to the cognitive world inside her heart, where her consciousness fractured into different pieces of herself: an ideal self, childishly good and bad selves, and a dark part of her. I think that this particular situation happened because Maki, unlike the kids and Adachi in P4 or Futaba in P5, was a Wild Card. She could use multiple personas, which manifested in the cognitive world as multiple pieces of her psyche. So Maki’s heart world is somewhere between Palace and dungeon, with the town distorted by her desires, and Pandora acting as the “shadow” part of her.

So, hypothetically, if any other Wild Card were to have a Palace or dungeon, depending on the distortion in their heart, it could manifest with multiple facets of their consciousness depending on how completely broken they are.

For example, my Minato would probably have the frightened part that doesn’t want the people he cares about to die, the ideal part that’s content and mildly sarcastic and actually smiles, and the nihilistic part that wonders why he bothers being the Seal when people keep reforming Erebus anyway. Yu would end up with Ideal Ace Hero Yu and then the sad part that’s scared of being alone. Etc, Etc.

(Now I’m really stretching.)

Anyway, everything is cognition in some form and that form just varies depending on the source of the issue at hand.

Yay~

#Persona #Persona 5 #Hours!verse #Hours!lore #headcanon #so much headcanon #I took my ''what if Magatsu Inaba is Adachi's Palace?'' idea and sprinted into the distance with it

[strontiumsun]

Margin of Error SS

I’ve been wanting to do some writing, but specifically write something short, since so many of my ideas for stories are too long for me to finish writing them. This was an idea that came into my head as I was driving to the gym, so I decided to run with it. Edits may come at a later point or may not.

TW: car crash, death

The sickening crunch of car against car was inescapable, even in death. It reverbed on loop, echoing the grisly sound of metal on metal, rubber on asphalt, glass shards hitting the pavement into knifelike shards. Over and over, the crunch ebbed and flowed, again and again, destroying what little will Patricia thought she still had – enough will to hear her demise – until she was sure she’d ground up into nothing.

               It was weird that she could hear at all, because she was certain the dead didn’t hear. But neither did the dead think… and she was doing an awful lot of thinking.

               She opened her eyes, and the change was if she had walked out of a loud club and onto a vacant street. The abstract landscape before her was a crisscross of greys, totally silent and damp like some deep cave. Just as eerie, too. Patricia tried to move from what she knew – but not sure how – was a crumpled fetal position on the ground, but her body was one giant bruise.

               This must be the afterlife, she decided. Although she wasn’t sure she deserved such a bleak eternity, she was willing to accept it as the price of her unnecessarily short life.  

               Still, her body wouldn’t move.

               “It’s not like a mortal to give up so easily,” a voice said, emanating from somewhere deep in the landscape.

               A figure was approaching, slowly drawing a form out of the crosshatched vista, and Patricia had no way to run. Embarrassingly, she found her only verbal options at the moment were grunts and hums, and she had no way to frighten the visitor off. Grunting with all her might, she tried to throw herself off the ground, but to no avail. It was as if she were glued to the floor.

               Hissing and pulling, she commanded her body to move, to wiggle at the very least, so that she could escape whatever impending doom was coming for her in the form of a man. But her breath ran short and her body shivered. This wasn’t a bleak purgatory – it was a hell with a torturer on staff.

               The man stopped advancing. Now Patricia could see his face, and she was shocked to find him looking so despondent.

               “It’s not very fair to judge a book by its cover, Patricia,” he said, kneeling down before her. His broad hands grabbed both of her arms and lifted her up as if she were a ragdoll, then settled her down, both feet firmly on the ground.

               “What the hell – oh,” Patricia stammered, realizing that she could talk again.

               “I’m sorry this place isn’t the most welcoming,” the man said. He sat down on a platform of dark grey that materialized out of nowhere, with a matching one springing up behind Patricia. “I tend to forget what it looks like from the mortal perspective.”

               “You’re… not mortal? So you’re an angel,” Patricia said. She sat down, and the mere act of controlling her body again was an untold relief.

               “Perhaps in some eyes I am, but I prefer to think of myself as a spirit,” he said.

               “So I am dead, if I’m seeing spirits,” Patricia said.

               He gave a half-smile. “You seem quite calm for one so recently departed.”

               “Maybe that’s because I’m the only one to blame for what happened. Even if I don’t exactly know what happened.”

               “Tell me then,” he said, almost pleading.

               That touched a nerve. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” Patricia said, giving the so-called spirit a narrowed look. “You might be comfortable here, but I’m sure as hell not and I know better than to open up to some creepy stranger, dead or alive.”

               Stunned, the spirit man looked downward at his bare feet on the many-toned ground.

               Patricia wanted to feel as brave as her cutting remarks, but she was shaking inside. She had died terribly – horribly – and without a doubt she had been the cause of it. She shouldn’t be getting a second chance. This wasn’t a death meditated upon. It was a complete and utter accident.  

               “That’s why you’re here, Patricia,” the spirit said.

               “Get the hell out of my head!” she said, flinching slightly.

               “I can make this much simpler for you to understand, if you’d just give me the chance.” He sounded genuine, and perhaps even a little sad.

               “Start talking then,” Patricia said, crossing her legs.

               He cleared his throat. “This is the Margin of Error, the place that deaths by mistake lead to. And I’m the guardian of this place, the spirit of costly mistakes – Prexus.”

               “The Margin of Error? Is that why this place looks scribbled together? It’s only made of margins?” Patricia said.

               “It’s cobbled together, in a way, of the split second between good and bad chance. It’s not supposed to house anyone besides me and whatever current charge appears here,” he – Prexus – said, waving a hand. “But this is not a place for just anyone, you must understand. Thousands of mortals die in car accidents every day. Very few of those mortals die because of a magical mistake.”

               Patricia’s mouth puckered. “Magical mistake.”

               “That’s right,” Prexus said.

               “You’re saying I’m… magical? Like Harry Potter?” Now Patricia was considering that this might be some elaborate coma dream, because while her worldview included things like angles and eternal damnation, it had no room for capital-M Magic.

               “Patricia, you didn’t just die in a car crash. You died because you turned you and your car invisible.”

               “No fucking way I did.” Her heart, which seemed to still be working, was running laps in her chest.

               “You don’t remember the cool, tingling feeling you had right before the accident? Or the light-headed rush that came over you?”

               “I remember getting smashed to bits – how could I pay attention to anything else!” But that wasn’t entirely true. It had felt like someone had cranked the AC, a switch turning on underneath her skin. It was like a machine had booted up inside of her – and then nothing but the crash.

               “You’re not the first magical mortal I’ve met, remember? The Margin of Error was created by wizards – humans adept at magic – as a repository for those unknowing of their abilities. Think of it as a strainer that most people flow through, but because of your nascent abilities you were caught by the net.”

               “Why’d I do it then?” she said, voice shaking.

               “Why do what?” Prexis said, concerned.

               “Why’d my magic suddenly kick in at the worst possible time? Isn’t magic supposed to get you out of life or death situations?”

               “Unfortunately, for you mortals, magic comes with a cost. It’s like the balancing of a scale – too much magic without thought for consequences will bring bad luck. Only those who can manage magic safely have the chance to become great wizards.”

               “Then that’s it, isn’t it.” Patricia wiped a vagrant tear off her cheek. “I mistakenly used magic and used up my chance to become a real life fucking Harry Potter-style wizard.” Now she could see the strewn-about greys of the Margin of Error lining up into a narrow black tunnel with a white point at the end. “And now I’m going to die for real, knowing that this wasn’t just some ordinary car crash statistic death. I’m wasted magical potential going down the drain.”

               Prexis seemed to follow her line of sight, but his countenance remained calm.

               Patricia couldn’t wipe the tears from her face now. What a cruel fate, she thought, to know what her future could’ve been if she just hadn’t made a careless mistake. What a cruel fate to have to learn the truth of your death instead of dying in ignorance, like everyone else.

               But Prexis laughed, and Patricia felt her heart skip a beat.

               “You wouldn’t be here if someone didn’t think your magical talents had potential, Patricia,” he said, and pointed a hand down the tunnel.

               At the end of the small dot of light was an unmistakable human silhouette.

               “Patricia,” the spirit said, “I’d like you to meet your wizard.”

#writing #short story #thanks for reading