#'don't let go of a man who can appreciate your butt james'

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 1: “Big Time Audition” PART 3

Links to parts ONE and TWO

Highlights: Kendall infuriates Gustavo with his amazing ability to Not Care, Mrs. Knight becomes a single mother raising FIVE children, and I reminisce about 2010-era BTR fanfiction.

Right in the middle of a delightful group performance of the "Giant Turd" song, the doorbell rings, and it's Gustavo and Kelly! Sadly, he's not there for James but for Kendall.

Gustavo points out three things that Kendall has: a gift, the "fire," and anger management issues. Gustavo mentions that he also has been told he has anger management issues, which leads me to assume that it's a trait he immediately liked about Kendall. I recall enough of the show to know that Gustavo and Kendall butt heads frequently throughout the episodes and also that there was a very clear favoring of Kendall. I mean, Gustavo loves each of his dogs, but I'm not off the mark in saying that Gustavo and Kendall end up having a father-and-son sort of relationship, right?

Anyway, Kendall is super unimpressed by everything Gustavo and Kelly say, and denies that he sings, to which Katie immediately lets him know that he sings all the time. While he's shoveling, at the dinner table, in the car, when Katie can't sleep.

When Gustavo asks if Kendall wants to go to LA and be famous, Kendall replies with a big fat, "No." This guy could not be more disinterested by this music producer basically offering him fame and fortune on a silver platter. I love Kendall. He's not enticed in the slightest. Also, I had to gif the moment where Carlos bursts out laughing and James shoots him that look.

Poor Carlos. He's loving this! Having the time of his life! Let him laugh hysterically at the absurdity of the whole conversation that's just unfolded. Who cares if he can't read the room?

The next day, the guys are hanging out in the parking lot of Kendall's job. They're having a grand ol' time damaging cars and also causing innocent shoppers bodily harm by ramming into them with shopping carts.

Look at this poor man. Bowled over in the grocery store parking lot by four teenage menaces.

The guys all think Kendall is an idiot and want him to call Gustavo back.

I need to sidetrack real quickly here because this scene reminded me of the original pilot that I recall being passed around on tumblr way back when—the one with that other guy in Kendall's role. I can't remember his name. They weren't hockey players yet either; they were skateboarders?? Very weird feel to it. Alternate timeline Big Time Rush that only made me appreciate even more what Kendall brought to the group. I don't think the show would have worked without him.

Skipping ahead a little bit, Kendall calls Gustavo and remains masterfully stoic as he manipulates his way into a deal in which he's allowed to bring James, Carlos, and Logan along to L.A. A very interesting tactic considering the fact that this spur of the moment—and very significant—decision leaves no room to consult the other boys' parents. I can only imagine that Kendall has such sway and control over everyone and everything that all he had to do later that afternoon was let the other parents know, "Hey, I'm taking your son to L.A. for three months so we can be famous," and they just had no choice but to say okay.

I mean, what are they gonna do, say no to Kendall Knight? I think that's illegal.

Seriously, though, these parents all just release their children into Mrs. Knight's care and let them go halfway across the country that easily? Most parents would be really not cool with that arrangement. Speaking of, I know we eventually meet the moms (and James and Carlos's dad at different points) but like. What is the deal with their families? Do any of them have siblings? Logan's dad is never mentioned I don't think; can we assume his isn't in the picture either? Does anyone who used to read the fanfics back in 2010-ish remember the prevalent trend of giving Logan a horrible home life?? It must've been prior to Big Time Moms, because I definitely remember a lot of fics where Logan's mom was dead, and he was being raised by a father who was negligent at best and abusive at worst. People put Logan through the RINGER back in the day. He was always being tormented or given brain damage or was dying of some terrible illness or something.

Okay. Focus. The guys go to L.A. and have an adorable montage in the limo.

I'm particularly fond of the Kendall and James high five/fist bump moment.

Then, finally, we're at the Palm Woods! The guys waste no time in getting to the pool, where they meet some of the Palm Woods locals and Kendall delivers his third (?) motivational speech of the episode. This kid must be exhausted having to churn out these talks and keep his buddies in line.

I wonder how many pep-talks Kendall gives over the course of the entire series. A billion, probably.

First instance of James doing "the face"!

Griffin (love that guy! He's an absolutely bonkers, ridiculous man) drops the news to Gustavo that he has just THREE DAYS to turn the guys into a band. Upon arriving for the first time at Rocque Records, a stressed Gustavo meets them in the hallway. Shout out to the moment where he rips Carlos's helmet off his head, and Carlos reacts as if his very life force has been taken from him.

Also shout out to our other glimpse of Original Kendall, as he tells Gustavo to "bring it" while standing mere inches away from his face and staring him down with this completely cool, collected, and intimidating expression.

Yeah, it's broken a second later with a funny line, but come on. This is another one of those looks at this first episode version of Kendall that I so wish we could have had more of in the series. He's not afraid of ANYTHING. This is a Kendall that makes you wonder, "What is this guy's deal??" He'll take Gustavo into a back alley and fistfight him if he feels it's necessary. Don't mess with the tall kid with the eyebrows, or you'll never be heard from again.

The guys go through a grueling round of boyband boot camp, which goes about as well as you can expect. And I'll go ahead and wrap this thing up for now. Only fifteen minutes left in the episode, so I should be able to finally finish this in the next post! Thanks again to those who are keeping up with these :)

#big time rush #btr #btr rewatch #btr season 1 #kendall knight #carlos garcia #james diamond #logan mitchell

[ohanny]

okay, i am starting bed friend and since watching alone makes me stressed you are once again exposed to my initial reactions:

i love how the first minute of this show is uea being all "i am just your average guy... except i am so hot everyone desires me and it makes my life so hard. sigh."

HELLO YIM IN YOUR BOWL CUT NERD MULLET YES YES YOU ARE MY BABY MY SUNSHINE MY ETERNAL LOVE PLS TAKE ME AWAY IN YOUR SPACESHIP

so mark is like fine fine in that grown ass man way. pls someone tell me he is a lead in a show because i need

also like... am i the only one who thinks james is the soft, godly lovechild of yim and nat?

how can you dislike king and his jawline of doom. wait. oh my god. are having enemies to lovers thrown in this too?!?!? are they gonna hit all my fave tropes?!?

oh boy. OH BOY. something happened that night for sure sure

no but as a low voices appreciator this theme song is tickling my ears in a good way

ooh not the shiny shoes. damn, you really don't like the man.

oh this does not sound good but the stubble but OH FUUUUUCK

i have known uea for literally 5 minutes and 16 seconds and i am ready to murder anyone who hurts him

oh no. trauma.

yeah no, murdering anyone who hurts him is not enough. i need to go full vegas in a torture poncho on their ass.

the fuckboy has got the feels already 11/10 look at that face

in the non-creepiest way possible: i need to put these child actors into my pocket and feed them cupcakes

okay so the mom belongs in the bin

oh bitch DON'T YOU DARE call him

give my boy all the fuzzy blankets to cover up his sadness

noooo when do these boys learn pulling someone's metaphorical pigtails as a method of flirting will never work

ksdjfkalsfjasdlfj james since when have you been this PRETTY

king: babe, what can i do to make you like me uea: die

pock rhymes with cock which is exactly what you have to be to mess with my baby. a musty, unwashed, diseased cock.

jade is such a sweet bean and also a mood at the end of the day

i love how their gc is called "domundi"

what in the workplace parking garage showdown is this. also mark, daddy, step on me. respectfully.

okay, free karaoke emergencies are my kind of emergencies.

why does no one want to ride with the boss? I VOLUNTEER AS A TRIBUTE

lol, poor jade being thrown under the bus

is it gay to be unable to go through a single interaction with your workplace nemesis without standing face to face, intensely staring at one another? asking for a friend

ohhh cock is calling. hang up. that's a good boy.

this karaoke makes me miss my early twenties. also noooo, my baby jade letting loose while uea is like "pls god someone save me. end my suffering. existence is pain."

jade: i am about to vomit everyone else: THE FUCK YOU ARE WEAKLING boss: also you still have to work lmfao

butt. hehet.

oh nooo he has a cute lil man purse on top of the confidence to wear white pants? damn.

oooh he is drunk. i can see where this is going and i have conflicting feelings about it :')

i do not have conflicting feelings about these collarbones though. they are very much fire.

piggyback rides T T

okay but do i have to move to thailand to afford these condos on a single income?

one day these bl boys will be this gentle and soft yet also capable of resisting the urge to ravish their drunk crushes

(un)holy spiderman o.o

*distressed noises*

oh if you left snow white in bed all alone i am going to kill you

okay yes that is some tongue

i do love a strategically placed mustard yellow pillow

ooooh, it was king who had to wake up alone. oh my sweet babies. why do i feel so bad for both of them?

seriously, that bathroom is custom made. how much do these average salary men make?

JADE IN THE ICONIC YELLOW CARDIGAN

jade: omg what is wrong bestie uea: *war flashbacks to cock* sleep deprivaton

the fact jade is always drinking boba is just so in character. not that we know much all about his character but the point still stands. he is a boba boy.

oh that "mom" needs the bin asap. and you can't add a "we need to talk" text to that, king, you and your jawline need to time things better.

oh no. shit is about to go down in the copy room.

i love the alleged king of one night stands not comprehending one night stand etiquette. boy is down bad.

king: seriously uea: i am avoiding avoiding the subject, that's how deep my avoidance goes

they are just so laskdfjasdklfjsadlkfjaslkjfoierjudfj

why do i feel uea almost running people down with his car is a character trait

ugh, my poor baby is in pain and i don't know how to help (T⌓T)

THIS CAT

#bed friend #bed friend ep1 #episode recap reaction whatever #i am down bad #king x uea #new hyperfixation HERE I COME

[what-the--curtains]

Braving the Elements

Chapter 20: Another Party

Part 1/2

Tw: Swearing, sex in pt2

Authors note: TWO IDIOTS IN LOVE, yes this was inspired by moulin rouge dont @ me. love u all❤️❤️

Both versions r so good they both get included!

“He really thinks he’s James Bond doesn’t he?” Wanda laughs

“He sure does, much better ass though.” you respond the other two nodding in agreement as you head into the board room for the briefing. Everyone gathers in and Tony pulls up an infographic on the main targets, who they were, how they may be contributing, and the best way to get information out of them.

“So, Nat and Sam, we want you to engage with those I’ve identified as “salespeople”, act as if you, as non-mutants, are interested in obtaining temporary powers. I’ll be with the investors, acting as though I’m hoping to get in on the ground floor. Wanda if you wouldn’t mind, pretend like you’re interested in the genetic side, say you would be willing to donate some DNA but you need to know how it’s being used and processed first. Y/N you’ll help Wanda but see if you can get to the seedier parts of their operation. Based on your dubious past and ties to Roman they may be more inclined to share any less than legal aspects with you. Everyone else you’re there to keep up appearances, don’t interfere, play along. The most important thing is that we do not reveal what we know already. Everyone needs to pick a target and latch on for the night”

“ (y/n) you get the hot one!” Wanda exclaims

“Why?” you ask, forgetting that people didn’t know about you and Bucky.

“Cause you're single and hot so it should be easy for you to seduce him.” Tony says.

“Well put Tony thanks for the objectification” you say, rolling your eyes. The guy was hot and rich, and probably full of himself, used to getting what he wanted. Getting information out of him would be a breeze.

“Fine i'll use my womanly wiles” you say making some spooky hand gestures.

You quickly look to Bucky to see if he’s appreciated your joke, but he’s avoiding your gaze. You notice his jaw is clenched and his body seems tense, you wonder what’s got him in such a mood. You go to ask him but he’s gone by the time you stand up. Shrugging you follow Wanda into Nat’s room to get ready. Sitting down on her bed you feel something poke you in the butt. Reaching under the sheet you pull out a whip.

“Oh my god do you use this on Steve?” you ask throwing it at Wanda

“Wait what??” Wanda exclaims, tossing it onto the ground in disgust and surprise.

“Shit sorry Nat!” You exclaim.

“How long!” Wanda asks. Nat goes on to explain about that night you all went out together and then again in Russia and how they’ve talked about dating but didn’t want to have it fully out in the open yet because of the press and all the paperwork that would go into it, but they were very much exclusive.

“How long have people known?”

“Well Y/N and Barnes saw us in the kitchen and he told Sam immediately. Literally the second he could, and I was going to tell Wanda and Vision tonight but” she gestures to you.

“Sorry! So what, you going steady now?” You ask giggling

“Ya, how does it feel to date someone who can get a senior discount?” Wanda riffs off of you. Nat jumps on the bed hitting you two with pillows, instigating an all-out war only calling a parlay when you realize you were all going to be late if you didn’t get dressed. Unlike last time you actually had a dress procured for you, one of the benefits of being a hero, people sent you free stuff now. Your dress was a deep forest green. The off the shoulder top was decorated in overlying fabric leaves lined with gold beading. It cinched at the waist and gently flowed out with a slit going up the right side. You wear your hair down in waves and you finish it off with a headpiece. It’s a crown made of gold branches twisted together with a few gold leaves and flowers scattered throughout.

“You look like a goddess.” Nat says, looking at you as she puts in a diamond earring. She’s in a scoop back mermaid black dress with a high neck, simple, elegant and gorgeous.

“Well you’ll fit Sam’s need for a bond girl!” you say, linking your arm in hers and heading out to meet Wanda and Vision in the lobby. Wanda’s in a satin hi-lo plum colored dress that matches Vision tie, it has a halter top, and her hair’s twisted up. Vision escorts Wanda into the venue and you and Nat go in behind them. Nat nods her head towards the bar, she’s spotted your target. You let go of her arm, straighten your dress and pull your hair forward. You make your way over to the bar, stopping next to him and pushing your hair to the side to expose your neck leaning over in an attempt to get the bartender's attention. You can feel your target staring at you.

“Hey aren’t you that mutant girl,?” he asks, you turn to look back at him, biting your lip as you do so.

“How often does that line work out for ya?” you laugh

“Rarely, but for someone as pretty as you I figured it was worth the risk.” he smirks

“Well flattery will get you everywhere, Y/N.” you say extending your hand

“Pleased to meet you, Max Van Der Bilt, what are you drinking?” he asks, kissing it.

“Whatever you’re having” you say smiling at him. He beckons to the bartender and orders two double vodka sodas. Bucky’s standing near the bar, trying to get an optimal vantage point on you. You looked beautiful, statuesque, he'd never seen anything like it. You looked like something out of a Greek tale. He wanted to tell you that, he wanted everyone to know that you had chosen him, but instead he’s stuck watching you flirt with another man. He feels his heart ache. He tried to calm himself and stop the feelings he was having, but he can’t fight against them. He reminds himself that it was all just an act, but he can’t help but fear for the worst. Why had you agreed to go for the only attractive target. Why did he suddenly feel like he was being deceived by you? Everything you did when you were alone with him, you were doing with this other guy, was this just some big game to you? He’s pulled out of his thoughts by Nat elbowing him in the ribs lightly.

“I said, god what’s got your panties in a knot?”

“Nothing.” He grunts out. Following his eyeline Nat notices he’s burning a hole in the back of your head.

“Fuck Barnes relax she’ll be fine she can handle herself. Besides what’s he gonna do to charm her to death?”

“Where’s Steve?” He asks, downing another drink.

“Oh somewhere playing his part.” She says, handing him her drink saying he looked like he needed it more.

“How are things with you two?”

“Good. It’s actually really nice to have someone amongst all the chaos, someone who gets it, ya know. Also doesn’t hurt that he’s a snack with an ass that won’t quit and superhuman stamina.” She responds.

“Alright didn’t need to hear that.” He cringes.

Nat laughs “C’mon Barnes there’s plenty of hot girls here go after one maybe you’ll finally relax.”

“Go after one? When have I ever needed to do that?” he says smiling.

“There’s the lady killer I’ve heard so much about.” She says, patting his arm and heading off towards the bar. Well, if he was supposed to keep up appearances he shouldn’t be standing alone in a corner should he. He makes his way over to a nearby group of women who had tried to approach him earlier. Apologizing for his abruptness he begins conversing with them, hoping to get a rise out of you. You’ve moved into a booth and Max is droning on about genetics, which are super interesting but not when they’re being condescendingly explained to you. I mean seriously you were a literal mutant, you’ve known the basics of genetics since middle school thanks to Charles. You tilt your head trying to get a look out into the rest of the party. You see Bucky with a group of women laughing letting them feel his metal arm up, amongst other things. You feel hurt, no let down. Why was he doing this? Did he always act this way when you weren’t around? Have you been played for a fool?

“It’s a shame you know,” Max says loudly, catching your attention once again.

“Pardon.” you respond, turning the charm back on.

“That all mutants aren’t beautiful like you then society wouldn’t be so afraid.”

You’ve never wanted to punch anyone more, but you don’t have the information you need yet so you force a laugh and gently touch his arm.

“So this genetic coding, how do you extract the gene?”

“It’s a simple process using DNA from hair, nails, teeth or bone. We don't need much, just one strand of hair is enough to create an entire dose.” He touches your hair moving it behind your shoulder.

“And where do you get your samples from?” you ask allowing your leg to cross slightly over his.

“That is classified information, but you may just get it out of me” he laughs, placing his hand on your thigh, rubbing it gently. You know you’re close to getting what you need.

“I think I may know a few ways to do that.” you smile

“Let’s dance” he says “They say private conversations are best had on the dance floor.”

#bucky x oc #bucky x reader #bucky x you #avengers fanfiction #braving the elements #bucky barnes #bucky barnes slow burn #james buchanan barnes #bucky angst #bucky barnes smut