#(they're just gonna be very late)

[zipsunz]

saturday morning cartoons 🥣

#omori #omori kel #omori hero #omori sunny #omori mari #omori aubrey #omori basil #omori heromari #heromari #my art #(basil and mari are still getting birthday comics don't worry) #(they're just gonna be very late)

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

fantasy au scribbles!!

#ft. bardaby and wall beefing <3 #ok yeah im just gonna call possessed wally wall. #cause yk. homes. home. walls. wall. #the alternative options were like. walome. holly. etc. bad options #In My Mind that scribble is the result of barnaby's first time seeing home possess wally #he did not know home could do that! they'd already had a very stressful and bad few months! #both of them were at their limits and were ready to Start Biting! #scribble salad #wh fantasy au #wh au #welcome home au #anyway yeah i gave howdy a lil ponytail. what about it #and his lil magic bullet bandolier <3 #ALSO DRAWING THE PUPPETS WITH TEETH IS FUN BUT ALSO VERY STRANGE #I AM NOT USED TO SHOVING CHOMPERS IN THEIR FACES #but in this au they're Real Fleshy Beings so. they need teeth i guess #ok i just wanted to give them teeth in a way that my brain allowed #still very unwell about this lil au btw #my little imaginings have been keeping me going lately #my favorite plotlines at present are bardaby-home bonding / wally & home are separated / ocean adventures / disembowelment <3 #fun things all around!

[stormyoceans]

Can i kindly redirect your attention to the fact that Talay easily caught Puen and held him without problems around the waist like 👀 Something tells me this is not the first time it happened

YOU CAN AND YOU SHOULD BECAUSE I /KNOW/ THAT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE 👀👀👀

and like not to be that person but im obsessed with how everyone involved in this show decided that top/bottom discourse is stupid and that the only reason puentalay is called like that is because it rolls off the tongue better than talaypuen. p'x kicked the door open the first day of workshop like LISTEN UP PEOPLE. WE'RE MAKING THESE BOYS SWITCHES. THEY BOTH LIKE TO MANHANDLE AS MUCH AS THEY LIKE TO BE MANHANDLED AND I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW ABOUT IT. one employee in the background timidly raising their hand and going like but how are we gonna do that if we gotta keep things PG-13. jimmy heard that and went like CHALLENGE ACCEPTED meanwhile p'x had already pulled up a 23 pages power point presentation on HOW TO USE TROPES TO VISUALLY SHOW THAT YOUR CHARACTERS ARE VERSES

#SORRY ANON THIS ANSWER IS SO LATE AND I FEEL LIKE YOU WANTED A VERY DIFFERENT REPLY BUT #idk there just isn't a pairing that is as equal and mutual as puentalay #and it's so funny that the our skyy episodes are built around the 'who's more madly in love' concept #because the answer at the end of them is gonna be both #they're both equally ridiculously embarrassingly truly madly deeply in love with each other AND IM MESSED UP ABOUT IT #anyway. sorry again anon ;;;;;;; #m: ask

[ebbpettier]

i don't believe in the fandom concept of problematic faves (all characters should have at least one Problem, i think, for flavor) but if i did, fiona pitch would have a permanent throne at the very top of my list. i just think she's neato-cheetos.

#on a scale from one to belittling a teenager who was just subjected to weeks of solitary confinement starvation torture #i think that fiona is a 10.5 and should consider prozac #rainbow has a way with multifaceted characters who do things because it's the only thing they know how to do #good things for bad reasons and bad things for good reasons and selfless things for spiteful reasons and vise versa etc #everyone is at least a bit of an asshole about something. even goodboy milk chap boyscout simon killed a bunch of vampires on sight #they were probably up to something shady but the likelihood that they were gonna kill those girls in broad daylight at a crowded renfaire? #probably pretty low. too late to un-kill 'em though. like. those were People. vampires are People. goblins too. #imagine you're a goblin looking to make some serious changes in your society and the only thing you have to do to achieve those goals? #is kill a fifth grader that already hates you and your entire species on principle and would definitely kill you first given the chance #some of those goblins were probably pretty power hungry assholes but i imagine if they have a monarchy they also have tax laws and shit #i couldn't kill a fascist cub-scout for free healthcare but i'm also very anti-murder in general and goblins seem quite pro #i am definitely thinking way too far into this but that's also my One SkillTM #the incredibly similar way that simon and fiona view 'dark' magickal creatures (and what it means about the entire WoM) is an essay itself #its also a LONG essay and i'm too much of a weenie to post in-depth fandom opinions more controversial than 'big teeth Hot' #so the gist of it is 'I JUST THINK THEY'RE ALL NEAT I LIKED THE BOOK A LOT' #del/lat

[difeisheng]

alright, i'm really hoping di feisheng is playing his own internal game with the wansheng clan and shan gudao, and/or that he's actually been in contact with li xiangyi since he started scheming against jiao liqiao and the turncoat jinyuan alliance

#and i am just going to assume that they will not reveal this until later. i am giving them the benefit of the doubt #because otherwise im gonna be very deeply disappointed in them dropping the ball on dfs's character this late in the game #his entire final confrontation(s) with jiao liqiao were great but the conspiring after was not #and im choosing to believe they're leaving his motives vague on purpose #he hasn't been interested in ruling the jianghu during the entirety of this show. just interested in li xiangyi #so im taking him bringing up that wish now as a pretense to get insider stuff from shan gudao #mysterious lotus casebook #di feisheng #ashton originals

[things-that-make-sa-happy]

Jeremiah Fisher | tsitp 1.06

#The Summer I Turned Pretty #tsitp #tsitpedit #Jeremiah Fisher #my beautiful boy! #Sa loves TSITP #Sa makes GIFs #I'm sorry- i'm having a moment and I'm hating every gif I've ever made past and present #on any of my blogs here #like why is everything looking so crummy lately? they're blurry and i can't get them right and i'm not happy #it won't stop me from posting more- cause if I'm making them then they're gonna be posted cause that's how I roll #but I'm just not happy with anything right now and I wish they looked better #i'm just ranting- don't mind me- i'm not looking for sympathy or compliments #i'm in a vicious cycle of comparing my very amateur gif making skills to others that are making these GORGEOUS ones and I need to stop #my lack of sleep is catching up to me and messing with my brain

[quickhacked]

drastic + vincent please :3

DRASTIC [x] characters >> vincent mayer (oc), vitali dobrynin (oc) context >> july 2077; vincent and vitali are in tucson to try and figure out a way to stop vincent from dying after johnny silverhand has been successfully removed from his head total >> 1.6k words warnings >> death mention, hospital, needles, surgery mention

‘Vincent. Can you hear me?’

Wakey wakey.

Vincent could barely open his eyes, eyelids and head still heavy with sleep. The air surrounding him was surprisingly cool; as far as he was concerned it was the middle of summer, and he was in Arizona of all places. Wasn’t it supposed to be sweltering?

Someone gently took his wrist. The action itself did not hurt, nor did the feeling that followed– but it caused him instant discomfort that bordered on pain, the sensation cramping up his entire arm and it took him a second to realize it was the work of a needle that was stuck in the top of his hand.

He was in the hospital. He had just gotten out of surgery.

His eyes finally opened, bright light pouring in from the window on his left and momentarily blinding him as he groaned and tried to adjust. The nurse beside him gently placed his hand back on the mattress and hummed a song as she checked something on the screens, gloved fingers rapidly tapping on the keys of the digital keyboard as she typed in some information.

The soft hum of the devices around him was like a lullaby and Vincent slowly exhaled as he closed his eyes again; but a sudden weight on his chest– as well as the sudden realization of what the surgery had been for to begin with– violently ripped him back to reality and he gasped for air, as if all oxygen had suddenly been taken from his lungs.

‘Easy,’ the nurse said, placing a hand on his shoulder to prevent him from sitting up. ‘You’re alright, Vincent. Everything is fine. Try to breathe as normal.’

Easier said than done. He had a fucking cybernetic lung now– and sure, it worked, but the idea alone was more than enough to cause involuntary tears to well up in the corners of his eyes as he could feel his irregular heartbeat in every single inch of his body and his unstable breathing scraped painfully past the dry inside of his throat.

Ever since he had arrived in Tucson it had been one surgery after another. Preventive measures for the most of it– save from the removal of a bullet shard that had still been stuck in his head, the last bit Viktor hadn’t been able to dig out before– replacing damaged organs where possible and removing previously installed implants to minimize risks.

And none of it had helped so far.

Vincent was still very much dying, despite all their efforts. Initially thought to be the damage the Relic had caused in his body, irreparable at that; not so irreparable anymore but with all holes patched and the ship still sinking, he couldn’t help but wonder if Soulkiller was still working its magic.

Sure, the program had been on the Relic itself– but then again, all technology had gotten damaged by that bullet and with Johnny’s engram overwriting his psyche and then his psyche overwriting all of that to separate himself from the biochip, who knows what kind of malware had managed to sneak its way in in the meantime?

‘There’s a visitor waiting for you,’ the nurse said, shooting Vincent a gentle smile after he had managed to settle down again. ‘Would you like me to get him for you?’

‘Yes please, thank you,’ Vincent replied, not needing to ask for a name to know exactly who she meant, and he couldn’t stop his heartbeat from rising in excitement and relief when she left the room to call the man in.

It still managed to catch him off guard, to see Vitali Dobrynin out of his usual work attire. A sight he had gotten to grow more familiar with over the last few months– the whole situation with Johnny had driven Vitali out of the office often enough for Vincent to catch him in simple sweatpants and a hoodie on the regular– yet it still felt a little strange to him. “The man sleeps in a suit,” Jackie had once jokingly told him. Vincent wouldn’t have batted an eye.

‘How do you feel?’ Vitali softly asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed, sleeves of his flannel loosely rolled up and only partially covering his forearms. His hands were clasped together on his lap– for once not a single ring adorning his slender fingers– and he nervously ran his thumb over the side of his index finger.

‘Little strange,’ Vincent admitted as he reached out to take Vitali’s hand in his own. ‘The more I think about breathing, the harder it gets. I know it’s just between my ears, but– you know.’

Vitali quickly nodded, a light smile on his face as he shuffled a little closer and leaned in to press a kiss on Vincent’s temple. Which, of course, also caught him off guard; with the complete chaos of the aftermath of the attack on Mikoshi he had continuously forgotten about the fact he was dating the fixer now, and now that they could finally have some time for themselves it still did not feel entirely real to him.

‘Don’t you think all this is– I dunno, maybe a lil’ drastic?’ Vincent quietly asked, allowing the other man to cup his cheek and run his fingers down his face. ‘I mean– I don’t feel much different than before. Just increases risk of cyberpsychosis if anything. Even with all the removed implants.’

‘You might not feel it now but something is still happening in your body,’ Vitali simply replied, the pre-programmed answer he had been giving Vincent for weeks now. ‘Sooner or later you will start feeling it. And then you’ll be glad we had precautions done before it got too bad.’

‘Costs a shit-fuckton of money.’

‘Which I have.’

‘Well, I don’t.’

‘You don’t need to.’

Vincent clenched his jaw and exhaled sharply, the action causing his chest to tighten a little and he winced, brief panic overtaking him; but nothing else happened, the cybernetic lung doing its job perfectly fine, and he allowed himself to relax again.

It did not feel right to let Vitali pay for his surgeries. He had done so from the fucking beginning, no less– when Vincent had gotten a correction surgery on his chest and Vitali had told Viktor to put it on his tab, despite Vincent continuously telling him he’d get the eddies himself after his recovery.

But Vitali was a stubborn man– painfully so, insisting on helping Vincent wherever and whenever he could. Out of the goodness of his heart, of course; but definitely so out of guilt as well, having to live with the knowledge he had not been able to save T-Bug and Jackie and because of that so desperately trying to save Vincent while he still could.

If he even could.

Vincent lowered his gaze, softly biting the inside of his lip as Alt’s words echoed through his head again. He was dying; there was no denying it, even if he didn’t feel it just yet, and if they wouldn’t figure out what exactly was going on with him he wouldn’t make it to the end of the year.

If he had done the calculations right, he’d be on his deathbed on Vitali’s birthday of all days. He couldn’t do that to him.

But perhaps Vitali was right. Perhaps the surgeries did help and would at least give him a little longer than what Alt had predicted. Perhaps Alt had not even told him the truth; perhaps whatever was going on with him in that moment was only temporary and the effects would wear off the more time would pass.

But with more and more of his body turning into a machine, Vincent could not help but wonder if it wouldn’t just have been easier to transfer his psyche onto a fucking biochip too.

Would’a been a copy, V, you know that. At least you’re still you, now.

But for how much longer?

Even Johnny– or, well the voice in Vincent’s head pretending to be Johnny– couldn’t answer that.

Vitali suddenly turned, pulling his legs onto the bed and moving closer until he was sat directly next to Vincent, leaning back against the raised mattress. He wrapped his arm around his shoulders– and Vincent in return moved closer without hesitation, burying his face in his boyfriend’s chest, grateful the painkillers were numbing most of the pain in his upper body.

‘We will figure this out, my love,’ Vitali softly mumbled and planted a kiss on the top of Vincent’s head. ‘I promise. I’m not giving up on you.’

He had paused all his business and tossed aside all his responsibilities to help Vincent find a cure. Had left Night City behind– had left his business in the hands of Mikhail– and even now weeks later he was still there by his side, paying for his surgeries and keeping him company through it all. Of course Vitali was not giving up on him– and Vincent had never received such devotion before, to the point he had no idea what to do now that it had fallen right into his lap.

‘I love you,’ he simply whispered in return, on the verge of choking back tears when he felt Vitali momentarily tense up. ‘I love you so much.’

He didn’t know how much time he had left. He didn’t know if Alt was right, he didn’t know if any of what they were doing there was helping him at all–

But at least he wasn’t alone.

At least he had Vitali.

#asks #faerune #writing asks #nuclearwriting #THANK YOU AND SORRY FOR THE WAIT. my brain is a bad soup lately i cannot get myself to write but i Did it #all of what they're doing there DOES eventually help out because vincent's body was very much just. dying. slowly #and the surgeries and all that stopped That specific process so that's a win. and then they get rid of the remnants of soulkiller #and then he's no longer dying :^) or well soulkiller is still there but it's dormant now. he's been given a stabilizer #so Technically soulkiller could still become a problem again in the future but i'm not gonna do that. he deserves a happy ending x

[casekt]

#I forget that my character LR mainly listens to juggalo rap because I've been listening to soooo much industrial and not much else lately #but they're out there in the desert clowning for real. important part of their character. it might seem like shitty writing and character #design but like. I didn't just pull everything about them out of my ass. they are for sure very odd but they're not the special chosen one #just insane #audio #there's that line between too plain and too special right. but idc make whatever character you want and I'm gonna do the same. #there are very much people out there like that #though in the book they're stripped of that because SOMEBODY (FP) wants to look at their bare face all the time

[bylertruther]

...

#i think.... i am getting.... performance anxiety when it comes to writing omg..... #i opened a google doc to jot down some ideas that have been floating around in my head lately #and i suddenly got very anxious? girl what da hell................. #@brain can we not do this................. can we PLEASE not do this can we PLEASEEEEEEE NOT DO THIS..... #it even goes for my personal writing not just fandom stuff which is so SILLY bc LITERALLY WHY AM I ANXIOUS #ONLY ONE OTHER PERSON IS GONNA SEE THAT WRITING AND THEY'RE MY BUDDY.... SO WHY THE ANXIETY? #i hate it here. 😠 #ennyways.......... if anyone has ever related...... and has any tips...... shakes my can at u

[beskad]

me every day: yes, I understand that I have ptsd. yes, it will frequently disrupt my life in sometimes (seemingly) random ways. sometimes this will necessitate leaving work or disclosing things about myself to a supervisor or friend or bystander because it's freaking them out and THEY are now panicking and often wanting to call me an ambulance. this is just a fact. it's fine. i'm dealing with it. most years are easier than the ones before them. it's fine.

me when my ptsd is actually triggered: what is happening right now. why can't I breathe. why can't I stand up. why do I feel like I'm about to throw up and die. oh, I know!!! I must be having an allergic reaction to something!!!! I'm suddenly coming down with the flu in the span of 3 minutes!!! this is so weird!!!!!!!

#EDIT: talk of PTSD proceed with caution #it's morphed a little over the years lololol #used to present as very obvious and unmistakable panic attacks with crying and hyperventilating #10 years later and it's quieter. 70% of the time the whole world just shrinks to a 1 foot bubble around me and everything goes dark #at least i didn't actually throw up this time around #and i was able to pinpoint the trigger about 2 hours in #once i was able to think again #and it was a song. 30 seconds of a song. #noticed right away that something felt wrong so i hit stop #but it was too late lmao within 5 minutes it was hard to breathe and the room was spinning and within 10 i crawled upstairs and passed out #but yeah like in the moment i often don't understand what's happening #i don't realize until I've passed out and woken up again #i had to lay down on the floor in the backroom of my retail job once and it scared the shit out of everyone #i usually stay somewhat lucid but i rarely realize I'm reacting to a trigger until after I've recovered #which means then I'm laying on a floor woozily insisting I'm fine #and then have the SUPER FUN TIME of having to explain everything after the fact once my brain and body are working again #I have a few long time coworkers who realize I've been triggered before I do lmao #They're like. Bro. You need to sit down. Right fucking now or you're gonna fall #rray.txt

[good-to-drive]

Okay Paul's episode of Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend was frankly disappointing and I get that but in retrospect it's really funny that no one stopped to question if a PODCAST is the right format to discuss a collection of photos

#people are discussing conan's worst guest ever and sadly paul is coming up a lot #but no one thinks it's paul's fault it's just that the whole situation straight up made no sense #and when conan interviewed paul on late night it was actually very sweet and funny #so I think they mesh well in general but a full hour of 'that's a nice picture' when you CAN'T ACTUALLY SEE THE PICTURE #yeah that was never gonna work #although when kevin nealon was on to promote his art book it went okay #but kevin and conan have better chemistry because they're friends irl #I think that's the only reason it was still entertaining

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the absolutely Vivid reality based chronological dream i had last night. man

#i got a job at like... an automobile warehouse or something? #we had to change a large trucks tires... #and i was sent to get some more from across the block or whatever #and its more complicated than that - there were conversations and interactions with people etc #and i was trying to find it but it was all like... in this corridor shopping mall? #the signs were western themed and listed items that you could get in that store #though i think it was all free? #anyway at some point it opened into a restaurant and i had a friend there who was carrying a plate for people who left prematurely #so i of course started shoveling it into my mouth - free food! but their manager caught us #and i had to be all 'hey i work around here im just lookin for tires and no one was gonna eat this anyway' #it was like... a rice/mango/cream thing...? strange because i dont like mangoes! #long story short i had to go back for the tires bc i wound up forgetting them. something about a dog.... #i was too late in getting the tires so i had to go sort rubber bolts instead :/ at least the warehouse was cool #absolutely unprompted #but it was very. linear. and it felt very real. like it was genuinely a place and a job that could exist #like i remember what the outside loading area looked like. the packed restaurant. the corridor. the warehouse. the lockers. the hallway #IF I HAD A BETTER MEMORY I STG I COULD MAP IT OUT #god i love my dreams. they're always plot based and im rarely myself <3

[whoslaurapalmer]

twice this month we've been in the car when some other car decides they either do not see my mom's car or do not have to obey proper driving rules and almost run right into us and. I love car rides. I love being in the car. I love riding around and looking at stuff. but every time we get into the car now I am so uncomfortable and tense and very scared and it is not cool

#my body will not unclench. wahoo #it's not like the first time this has ever happened but that one two weeks ago was like. wayyyyyyyy too fucking close. #I MEAN I DON'T THINK WE WOULD'VE. UH. BEEN INJURED. CAR WOULD'VE BEEN SMACKED INTO THOUGH. CAUSE THAT GUY DIDN'T YIELD AT A MERGER #and then today this car in the other lane kept swerving back and forth #which was. why would you do that. very scary bc you dont know where they're going next. #JUST KEEPS HAPPENING KINDA FREQUENTLY LATELY AND I DON'T LIKE IT #and like. my instinct in these situations is GASP AND FREEZE i have no reaction instinct but also I'm in the passenger seat. #but that's. a reason i will not drive like idk if i will acquire that reaction ability to not just Freeze #and try to make myself as small as possible. #and then i feel guilty that i don't drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that my mom has to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel really bad!!!!!!!!! #and I'm like. scrutinizing every single car that drives by like ARE YOU GONNA BE DUMB. ARE YOU GONNA TRY AND HIT US. #AND I CANNOT STOP BEING TENSE. #YEAH YEAH I KNOW WHAT IT IS.

[kdm13]

finances have been tight lately and i’ve been holding onto these too long in hopes of getting enough together to go out and sell them proper

20 US a heart, and i do have lots more yarn (i made sure to buy enough colors to do p much every flag i could find a few years back) if you want something that i don’t have pre-made. just know that anything not already made might take a bit as it’s hard for me to do much of anything without hand pain these days

the pockets are big enough that they can hold a piece of hard candy or a single tissue

if you can’t afford one, a signal boost would be fantastic. i want to be able to pay for car insurance so i can get my brakes fixed and go look for a job

feel free to DM me for further details

currently available:

bisexual - 1

nonbinary - 1

agender - 1

aromantic - 1

genderfluid - 1

asexual - 1

#crochet #fiber arts #yarn crafts #handmade #i tried to set up a shop but got very confused so i'm gonna try here for now #they're made using red heart yarn for the sake of affordability; color selection; and lack of dye lots #but yeah my last payment for my car insurance bounced so i put this off way too long #i also have a lot of free patterns at my disposal including one for coasters for your drinks #so if anyone wants a cute coaster with ears on it lemme know because those work up faster #i think those would be 15 a piece #i just don't have any of those pre-made besides two that are late birthday presents for a friend

[buckleyseddie]

...

#i need to drown my phone in a lake #and maybe also ****** #i'm too attached to this stupid hellsite even if lately it isn't really fun #i see too many posts that feel like a punch in the gut #and apart from a handful of people (who i appreciate a lot don't get me wrong) i don't really. interact with anyone? #so i shouldn't want to come back but. i still do #like i've barely posted anything this week but not because i'm not here it's because i just don't feel like it #like. i see posts that i like but they're piling up in my likes and i don't feel like rbing them #i just don't feel like doing anything #so yeah i should delete the app but. let's face it i probably won't #but i should #and drowning my phone would be very helpful cause it would leave me no choice but to stay off tumblr #which would reduce my daily crying by at least 10% #also not having many people to interact with here is definitely my fault like i know people are nice and i can reach out and make friends #but also i. don't think more internet friendships are what i need right now #again. i love and appreciate the ones i have and i wouldn't change them for the world but. yeah #anyway this is pointless cause i'm still gonna be here tomorrow #maybe soon i will be able to actually enjoy it and engage again #monse talks

[eggmeralda]

when I was 19 in 2019 I got these Vibes about 2023, it wouldn't be good or bad it would just be a Significant year

2020 was so bad that 2021 could only be better, it started good and then I got paranoid that 2022 was gonna be bad in comparison, so I mentally prepared myself for 2022 months in advance

then by the summer 2021 suddenly became worse than all of 2020 combined, but it improved by about september

bc of the mentally preparing myself months before, 2022 was amazing, but bc it started so good I got the feeling that it wouldn't end well

the last 4 months were pretty bad, and then came 2023

I got many different vibes for it over the past 4 years, but one of the main things was that there'd been a pattern going since 2015

2015: extremely good

2016: extremely bad

2017: average

2018: pretty decent

2019: extremely good

2020: extremely bad

2021: average

2022: pretty decent

so 2023 was expected to be really good? but also it had to get up from 2022's bad ending so the goodness was gradual

my brain is prepared for a good last 4 months to compare to 2022's bad last 4 months

but also following the pattern, 2024 should be extremely bad, and once I've got the thought in my head that a year will be bad, there's no going back. which would explain the extremely bad year following an extremely good year

2015 and 2019 were unreal, which meant 2016 and 2020 would've looked bad in comparison no matter what, so they just completely gave up and decided to be awful

but anyway it's 'getting paranoid about next year' season, also I can never escape the patterns of time etc etc

#in 5 days it's the 10th anniversary of the beginning of my memory and dates obsession. which is fun #oh time thoughts why must you run my life #why must you keep constant surveillance on my thoughts and if i think the wrong thing then something disastrous will happen #fun fun times 👍 #also like *19yo thoughts voice* ''something very bad will happen in 2020'' #*19yo thoughts voice* ''2023 will be a significant year'' and then me paranoidly thinking what could be That significant that i'm getting #info about it now? oh my god someone's gonna die #and then by 2023 someone died #bc i reblogged that post saying 'reblog to get good news in late march' #which meant i left the thoughts unsupervised by late march bc i thought i was protected by that post #then my friend and his toxic girlfriend had a massive fight and i was like 'oh my god they're gonna break up this must be the good news' #then they stayed together and my sister's friend died instead #as if the time patterns were reminding me never to let my thoughts relax like that again #i need to always remember every memory and make sure i don't accidentally control the future again #i know realistically i don't control the future and i didn't cause my sister's friend to die and i didn't cause the pandemic #and i know my brain is very irrational #but still #this happens way too much and idk i just don't want something really bad to happen in 2024 #hopefully it'll do a weird swapover like with 2017/18 #bc before that odd number years were good and even number years were bad starting in 2014 #or like odd number years would start bad but end good and the even number years would be the other way round #but 2017 stayed neutral throughout and then 2018 started bad ended good #then until 2021 the pattern was swapped #2021 was weird bc it started and ended good but was horrendous in the middle #no other year has ever done that #so yeah 2024 could do something weird and swap with another year idk #but i'll have to see #ramble