#Also I guess to clarify; the reason this 'nicely fits' is because the general events were already going to happen to Labby

[systematicallycapricious]

[AoN] PxDN Lore Snippet: R-00 + R-01 Reactivation

Yep, I read Persona x Detective Naoto, and yep, I'm incorporating it into this story. Why? ‘Cause it’s not a bad read, and more importantly it’s got a lot of feasible world lore I can use to enrich the setting, of which I can do all sorts of fun stuff with. Also, Sousei and Sho share a lot of similarities in terms of circumstances and behaviors, so any chance for him and Sholar to cross paths has lots of fun potential as well, even if it's only once.

Anyway, this is just a little snippet from the full AoN-PxDN lore doc that I'm getting straightened-up, 'cause I'm excited about how nicely I got it to fit together. \o/

Spoilers for: Persona x Detective Naoto, Persona 3, Persona 4 Arena/Ultimax, and my fic "Apropos of Nothing" (very mildly though, otherwise I wouldn't be posting it xP)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(For quick reference, the R-series ASSW project spanned from roughly 2006 to 2009, with Sousei's run being from 2007-2008, Ai's spanning 2008-2009, and their endings being Yūri's death and Aigis's reactivation respectively. SEES is first founded in Spring 2006 (being Mit/Aki/Shinji), and P3 happens as normal from 2009-2010. The 7th Gen ASSW project also ended with the explosion & creation of the Dark Hour on Sept 10th, 1999.)

So, several times throughout 2011, Minazuki accesses Ikutsuki's isolated server + the Ergo database server in general, with the first instance of the latter catching the ShadOps/KJG's attention. A bit spooked by the unauthorized access, everything related to Ergo (both current and old) is given a thorough security check, resulting in the discovery of 3 ASSWs sitting around in storage, among other things.

(Note: the database server access happens differently in this AU, so up until now, Minazuki had been accessing the isolated server legitimately via Ikutsuki's whitelisted computer with admin credentials, and then attempted to access the general server with an unregistered device. I still have to learn how databases work though, so I might have to adjust that in the future.)

Pretty much no one seems to know much about this mysterious 5th Gen and two R-series androids, despite there actually being a decent bit on information on-file for the latter once they decrypted it, and so, alongside a bunch of other old Ergo artifacts, the three are shipped out to the Yakushima Ergo quarantine facility for inspection and threat assessment. Some of the staff who were cited to work on the R-series are also contacted by Mitsuru to get further information.

(Note: unlike OG, the transport goes smoothly, because canon-divergence. /o/)

Mr. Tsuge Tetsuma has been employed as a researcher in the Kirijo Ergonomics Robotics Division for a long time now, but more importantly since the R-Series project was abruptly halted and its products stuffed away into storage. Now, he was nowhere near happy about having to leave Sousei and Ai in there for all this time, mind you, but he didn't have the authority nor the opportunity to get them back out of storage on his own, and so it was all he could do to stick with the company until an opportunity might arise. Getting a phone call from Mitsuru provided one such opportunity.

With the aid of Tsuge, the three ASSWs are reactivated and inspected, and once Mitsuru learns that they're not threats and are sentient beings with "hearts" of their own, they're given official rank as auxiliary members in the ShadOps to keep Public Safety from trying to confiscate them on the grounds of being "highly dangerous weapons". And… I guess I haven't figured out the specifics beyond that point yet, like if they actually help out the ShadOps or not. I feel like they might given Sousei’s determination to prove his usefulness and Ai’s desire to help out overall, but Sousei’s determination to have a combat-type Persona might also undermine that? Anyway, Tsuge is also brought into the fold as an official ShadOps researcher and tasked with being the supervisor of the Kurogamis due to his past experiences and relations with them and their creator.

(Fun fact: the reactivation order goes Ai, Sousei, Labrys because they have more information on, and familiarity with, the R-series units than the 5th Gen unit, so there's less risk involved with activating the Kurogamis than there is with Labrys. (Plus, in the event that Labrys ends up being hostile or out of control, the Kurogamis could be called in to help suppress her.) Also, Tsuge knows that Sousei will be rowdier than Ai, so as one of the chief specialists on the team, he's making the executive decision to give the team the ‘easier’ one to start with, lol.)

A year passes (which is what makes up a lot of Sousei's impression of "smoldering away at a lab, not yet fulfilling his mission as a suppression weapon"), and in late 2012 the National Police Agency entreats the KJG for technological aid in civilian safety and law enforcement measures. With the Kurogamis’ robotic physique and Sousei’s Past Reading in mind, this opportunity gets presented to Tsuge and the Kurogamis, of which Tsuge eventually gets Sousei on board with when he learns that they can be stationed at Yagokoro's PD, where Aoi Touko works. Ai didn't really need a ton of convincing, being content to be wherever Tsuge and Sousei are and determined to help out where she can.

(Note: part of the "last year's brutal crimes" is influenced by the Inaba kidnapping and murder cases, as it caused quite a stir across the nation, though the other part is probably more mundane, non-magical crime. Also, other technology and robotics were implemented in other PD's across Japan, but Yagokoro was the only one to make use of ASSWs specifically.)

And from there, PxDN happens more-or-less as normal, although certain events may or may not have Naoto meet the Kurogamis and/or Tsuge before PxDN occurs. It depends on if they end up staying on Yakushima for the whole time or if they go to an Ergo or ShadOps facility on mainland Japan, and furthermore if it happens to be the one Naoto visits or not. Most likely, if they do cross paths at all, it'll be brief, or else an off-handed mention of them by someone else, but I'll have to see as I solidify more of that part of the timeline. P:

Also, Tsuge’s employment with the ShadOps lets him distribute Evokers to Touko and Naoto during PxDN’s events, perhaps special models more recently designed for use outside of the Dark Hour/CoUn, because they really shouldn’t be able to summon their Personas so casually in the conscious world. It’s somewhat believable for when Naoto Awakens to Amatsu Mikaboshi and when she’s trying to save Touko, given the circumstances, but outside of that. :P

#Sholar System AU #Persona x Detective Naoto #Persona series #Lorecrafting: Capricious Style #if something doesn't make sense or is hard to read lmk and I'll see what I can do #The past year solid of research is finally actualizing into cool stuff #I went through so many Persona IPs because there's like no substantial info on Ergo #At least that I can find/access #But at least I can do interesting stuff with all of that info now #Also I guess to clarify; the reason this 'nicely fits' is because the general events were already going to happen to Labby #Of the server discovery and resulting security inspection; plus some other Ergo timeline factors unrelated to Labby #And then I realized that I could apply it to the Kurogamis too given it's not well-clarified what happened to them post-Yuri death #(Or like how Ai was made and fits into this at all...) #And the ShadOps are meant to work with the legal police so the Yagokoro collab could be right up their alley? #So then I started connecting it to other given canon details and hence //gestures #Labby has her own arc to undergo so that'd be why she stopped being mentioned after a certain point #She does work with the ShadOps though but it's in a more passive position? #She's (planned to be - still working on it) stationed in Inaba to keep an eye on things after the lv4 Shadow Activity reading #But it's also kinda Mitsuru being sneaky in giving her a job that lets her live a somewhat more human-style life #Especially because Labby has only been reactivated for a few months #And then later down the line she might take on a more active role but that's super-WIP

[favoniuscodex]

Hewwo I really love your writing and I want to improve my own to a form similar to yours. If it's okay, can I ask what your writing process is or if you have any writing tips? Sorry if you already answered questions like this. I am not a native speaker by the way, can i also ask about how you built your vocabulary as well? Thank you very much in advance and I hope you're having a great day/night! Drink lots of water and don't forget to eat three meals a day.~

hello, anon! you’re actually the first to ask about something like this and i’m honored you think my writing is good enough for me to give advice on (and honored that you think it’s good enough to take inspiration from!).

i have two different writing methods, which are as follows:

long fics (10k+ words)

i write an outline and have my friends look over it to make sure that the scenes are both impactful and enjoyable, along with being organized. the most important part of writing a long story is making sure the timeline is coherent and that you have proper buildup to the climax of the story.

before i write a scene that contains foreshadowing to a future event, i write down what themes i wish to convey with this scene, along with any future information that will be relevant later in the story. this is helpful because you never write something all at once if it’s this long! you might forget important details, so having notes is always nice.

if i’m hesitant on writing a scene, i’ll talk it out with some of my friends and see if i’m still comfortable with writing it.

one of the biggest things i can recommend is being adaptable! being willing to change your story plans is crucial, because (typically) the first idea you think of isn’t always the best one. in my own experience, i change my ideas a lot as i write something. this is because i will get bored writing otherwise.

this is from my own experience, other writers may disagree, but i NEVER set word count goals for myself. i write when i want to write, otherwise i will get discouraged when i do not meet said goals.

take breaks or you will hit burnout fast!

have a glass of water and set a timer every 15 minutes to relax your eyes from your screen and drink some of it. it gives your mind a chance to soothe itself from the bright lights of a screen and also gives you a short break. and you stay hydrated!

short fics (<10k words)

when i write short fics, i typically don’t have an outline (unless if it’s a series) and i just go with my gut

if i don’t really like where a story’s going and i know it’s short, i finish it anyways because a finished product is better than giving up in my eyes? at least i know what not to do next time!

sorry a lot of these tips don’t pertain to actual writing! they relate more to planning. :( i’ve been writing stories for fun since i was 6 or 7 (i have journals upon journals of my first stories in my basement!) so most of what i do is just... gut instinct at this point? i apologize if that’s not very helpful of me to say. ;.; i don’t think of myself as very talented but like... i wish to say this in case it happens: please don’t compare your writing to mine! i’m sure your writing is lovely in its own right.

now that that’s said, here’s some stuff i can actually help with, which is under the cut because this is getting long:

word choice / vocabulary

first off, the best thing you can do for yourself is read something complex. like... the type of book where you have to pull out your phone and look up what words mean. if you’re not exposing yourself to new words, even if it is annoying to have to pause, you won’t learn new words.

this typically means ditching the fanfics and looking for actual published novels, typically older ones. i love fanfics (i write them lol), but the word choice in fanfics is typically limited to casual conversational language as they are written for fun, not necessarily to challenge the mind.

next, the best thing you can do is use a thesaurus. i personally use thesaurus.com but it’s different for everyone! but this is dangerous. using a thesaurus can be one of the worst things you can do for your writing if you don’t use it properly. you use a thesaurus to get synonyms for words that are commonly used, but may have a lot of other alternatives (i.e. happy, sad, etc.) and NOT super specific words.

ONLY use words listed as synonyms in a thesaurus if you know them and it’s safe to assume your readers likely know them as well! for example, i used the word ‘insouciant’ as a joke in my last fic. however, if i used that seriously, that probably would’ve been bad as it’s a SUPER rare word. nothing will ruin a reader’s experience faster than a story that blatantly uses too many words from a thesaurus and, worst of all, uses them improperly.

let me give an example:

starting text: “she was happy to see that he had returned safely. she could see relief in his eyes that she was safe as well. he smiled happily at her as she ran into his arms.” this is good enough, but it’s rather plain. it’s an easy read, but nothing about it is super engrossing.

good thesaurus example: “she was overjoyed to see that he had returned without harm. she identified relief in his eyes that she had stayed out of harm’s way as well. he smiled enthusiastically at her as she sprinted into his embrace.” it sounds a lot nicer before and definitely more polished, but nothing about this requires someone to whip out their phone in frustration to google a word. the point of typical writing is not to challenge your reader’s intelligence but to entertain them.

bad thesaurus example: “she was jocular to perceive that he had reappeared in an unharmed manner. she prognosticated solace in his blue orbs that she was guarded as well. he smiled jovially at her as she charged into his forelimbs.” this is a bit of an exaggerated example, but this is actually how i feel some authors tend to write. it’s very blatantly using a thesaurus, it uses words incorrectly, and it overcomplicated things to where it feels like the reader has to do a mental exercise to read it.

tl;dr for this section: if you don’t know a word, do not use it. if you are familiar with a word, it’s probably good to use as long as your writing still seems natural. thesauruses are your friend but can be your enemy.

i would like to clarify that i am a native speaker and it’s not necessary to read books forever in order to keep your grammar and word choice up to date. i have not picked up an actual published book within the last 4 years (don’t laugh at me i know this is bad). however, in learning to expand your grammar, reading books is essential.

some miscellaneous writing tips i have include:

you don’t have to take every request that comes within your inbox if you do decide to do tumblr writing. i probably, much to the behest of the people that submit, throw a good chunk of my requests out. write what you’re passionate about and your writing will improve and your followers will be happier.

if someone criticizes your writing, this does not mean they’re trying to criticize you (usually. don’t go on twitter if you want this to remain true). they are providing something most people don’t want to offer: advice. many times you will find yourself surrounded by people who will applaud you for writing nearly anything. this is not good. living in an echo chamber will ensure that your writing never improves. you want to ask people for advice and find those who will give you genuine advice, even if it may hurt to hear.

try to discern what authors you like do with their writing versus authors you don’t like. consciously making these comparisons will allow you to directly apply them to your own writing and help you emulate someone’s style as well.

please don’t write meme references into your work. it will get outdated fast. try to write something you can look back on within a few years and not cringe at. :) this is just my personal opinion lol, someone might disagree.

i do not proofread my writing. it makes me second guess everything. everything on my blog, as you see it, lacks proofreading, aside from inheritance, in which i had a beta reader glance over it. for beginner writers, this is probably shit advice if you’re not used to grammar BUT that’s just how i roll and i wished to share that.

the most important thing i do for my writing is have a good music playlist in the background. NOTHING will make you write better than listening to music that fits the mood of what you’re writing. find a premade youtube playlist or slap together a spotify playlist of songs you think fit the mood and get grooving to it. you’ll find that you’ll write better and you’ll enjoy the process of writing much more with the mental stimulus.

don’t write jokes in which you have to overexplain them. if you have to explain to the reader what the joke is, it won’t be funny. humor is difficult to write, but no jokes involved are better than a bunch of failed ones.

don’t worry about pinpointing fanfic characterization of a specific character perfectly. i get praises for my characterization of diluc and kaeya within inheritance a lot, even though i specifically altered them from canon (??????? this confuses me a lot that i get praised for this but anyways) and haven’t even read the webtoon. as long as it’s within reasonable expectation, you should be fine. zhongli shouldn’t be written as going off the walls crazy with excitement just like venti shouldn’t be written as super serious about frivolous matters. as long as you get the general gist of a character, people will enjoy it.

try to find some writer friends. they don’t necessarily have to be in the fandom, but being able to shoot off ideas with other people is amazing at improving both your plot and your writing overall. (shoutout to @shannara because for as much as i annoy him, he’s always willing to listen to me blab about any story and any idea, even though he doesn’t read reader-inserts nor should he care about my dumb OCs, but he cares about mine because he’s a cool dude)

don’t get discouraged if a fic doesn’t get good reception. in fact, it’s probably better if your first few fics don’t blow up in popularity if you do post them because it’s humbling and you can decide if you’re actually writing because you enjoy it or if you’re just doing it for clout.

i hope this made sense and if you (or any other people reading this!) need any more writing advice, my ask box and DMs are always open. if you ever want me to beta read something, please send a DM and i’ll see if i can as long as it’s like... not super long and i have spare time.

sorry this turned out to be so long but it turns out i had far more to say than i thought! good luck writing and i believe in you!

#long post #mail #advice #i hope this helped? i'm not very good at this sort of thing. #Anonymous

[heavy-lobster]

Okokok I’ve had thoughts and I am going to organize them into several paragraphs so buckle up

PMD DX is an important game, because it marks the PMD series not being completely dead, and has given people hope for more entries in the future. Of course, I think everyone would prefer that next entry be something new, rather than a remake of a past PMD game. Even then, since DX was announced I’ve seen plenty of talk about the inevitability of a PMD 2 remake, whether it’s coming next or will be following something new. Most people I’ve seen talk about this seem in agreement that PMD 2 would be the next game in the series to get remade if any. This is really strange to me.

I don’t feel like Explorers of Sky really needs a remake. Here me out.

Like a lot of people, EoS is my favorite PMD game. The pixel art graphics are pretty much everything I could ever want out of a game and the soundtrack might just be my favorite video game soundtrack of all time. The story is incredible and the characters are fun and charming. While I personally don’t really play PMD for the gameplay at all, EoS has the most enjoyable gameplay in the series in my opinion. I really love this game, so why wouldn’t I want a remake?

I don’t feel that EoS needs a remake. I just don’t feel like there’s any improvements to be made here. Let me clarify; I’m not saying EoS is perfect. It definitely isn’t. No game is. EoS has plenty of issues and things that could be improved and added to the game. So what’s the problem? I just don’t feel like hardly any of the things that actually need improving would be improved in the remake I know we would get. The remake would most likely just “update” the graphics, “update” the music, change and update some gameplay features, and maybe some new post game content or something if we’re lucky idk.

I feel the update to the graphics would almost be reductive in a way. The pixel art style of EoS just doesn’t really need “updating”. Clean, stylized, pixel graphics are timeless and will ultimately hold up better than any 3D graphics, the standards for which just keep getting higher and higher. It’s distinct and charming and I don’t feel that anything of value would be gained by making the game 3D. To clarify, I don’t hate the graphics of the 3D PMD games. They look just fine and there’s some parts of these games that look fantastic! I just feel like in the graphics department of an EoS remake, there nothing to be gained and everything to lose.

Music wise, this argument is entirely based on my own nostalgia and biases. I like the music! It’s good! Every orchestral rendition I’ve ever heard of a track from these games just hasn’t done it for me. Part of just really doesn’t want to hear an “official” version of these orchestral arrangements because I just. don’t like the sound as much. I’m a music nerd and even I genuinely can’t justify this with any kind of logic beyond just the nostalgia factor for me personally.

The gameplay is the only area I can see being actually improved and even I’m not really sure what more they could do other updating it to be more like it was in DX. Which would be nice I guess but it still just doesn’t feel that necessary to me idk. I doubt the story would go through any major changes, for better or for worse, so overall there’s just not enough improvements to be made to justify a whole remake.

If any PMD were to get another remake, the game I feel is the most deserving of it is Gates to Infinity.

Gates has grown a reputation for being the worst PMD game, the reasons for which are completely beyond me. Gates is my second favorite game in the series. The story is great and it fixes one problem I’ve had pointed out about EoS story-wise,,,, that being the generally pointless flashbacks to events that happened 5 minutes ago. The graphics are outdated by today’s standards yeah but,,,, Gates was the first fully 3D Pokemon game so how hard can you really be? The music, while not quite as good as its predecessors in my opinion, is still very good! Especially the goodbye theme, that’s a good one. The gameplay is. Certainly gameplay! Overall it’s a really good game and I like it! So why do I think it deserves a remake more than EoS?

There’s a lot more things to improve and expand on with Gates. Gates felt like it was being held back from what it could’ve been. There were so many cool features n shit that just wasn’t really utilized much and it’s sad because these games could’ve been even better! Gates feels almost incomplete to me, like there was supposed to be more to it. Probably not but it feels like it to me.

Graphic wise there’s a lot of obvious improvements to be made. The models in Gates definitely aren’t bad, but they could be better for sure. The environments would look SO good if the graphics were touched up,,, I wanna see the great glacier in high-def dammit! A lot of the animations were kind of awkward too, those could benefit from a touch up. A big problem with Gates is that the camera is zoomed in wayyy too much. You really can’t see shut most of the time and it just doesn’t look very good. That could be fixed in a remake. The music doesn’t need much of touch up that’s not really one of my points here it doesn’t get its own paragraph.

One thing I want improved story-wise is the post game. I really like the post game of Gates but it’s so short and there’s just. Not much there?? There’s actually kind of sort of a bad ending to Gates! You can straight up refuse to return to the pokemon world and then the cave collapses and fades out to some weirdly eerie text. I really like this!! I like everything about this climax in the post game! But that’s like,,, pretty much the only thing worth noting! I like the overwhelming feeling of emptiness, and I like the way your partner just silently stares at your old bed every morning before you get to control him. I just think it’s neat! But it could’ve been so much neater!! I just want to see it expanded on.

The gameplay is mostly fine in Gates dungeon-wise. The other things I’ve mentioned plus just updating somethings to fit in with recent PMD games would fix all the problems I have with the dungeon gameplay here. No I don’t care if they add hunger back or not, hunger adds nothing of substance to the gameplay and I couldn’t care less whether or not it’s a feature.

The gameplay I want to see improved isn’t in the core dungeon aspect. I want to see the Paradise building aspect of the game improved and expanded on. It’s a really cool feature! It could be so much cooler if it wasn’t as limited as it is!! I have so many ideas but I’m,,, not writing them down rn sorry. Also magnagates! That weird little feature no one cared about. Those were cool I just wanted to bring them up,,, I kinda miss them.

TLDR; I feel like there’s so much more they could do and improve with a Gates to Infinity remake, whereas there really isn’t many ways to handle an Explorers remake. But also I really don’t want them to remake another PMD game I just want new content please I’m starving here-

#!!DISCLAIMER!! These are just my thoughts don’t get angy! #feel free to start discourse however #I can write a whole ass essay about PMD but I can’t do my homework smh #I have so many thoughts you have no idea #this is completely incoherent btw it’s a total ramble #pmd #lobster.txt

[judithsupportsteamchampery]

Interview with Deniss Vasiljevs September 2019

Summer’s over - No reason to be sad for a real skating fan as it’s time for the new season to kick in!

For me personally it had been a quite exciting and eventful summer where I didn’t even miss skating that  much to be honest. I was rather a bit afraid that it had maybe lost a bit of it’s spark for me… but after that last weekend in Bratislava I can tell for sure, the fire is definitely back and burning as strong as ever. It was an amazing weekend full of emotions - mostly super positive -, lack of sleep, fun times with amazing friends and of course amazing skating and new programs.

Right after the Short Program, when the rest of the competition was still running, my friends and I had the spontaneous chance to have a little chat with Deniss and Stéphane about the Two Men in Love program, the unusual decision to have two Short Programs and about their off season.

Please note before reading that this was a very spontaneous, quite unprepared interview / chat. All of us are no native English speakers. Once again I tried to write everything down word by word as it was said. Towards the end it turned more into a normal conversation, so you see quite short phrases and some interruptions. I hope it’s still possible to understand everything.

You can also watch the interview on youtube right here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0ZbHV2FH2M

D: Deniss, S: Stéphane, M: Marina, R: Reut, J: Judith

The first question is paraphrased as it was cut from the video.

J: First of all thank you so much for your great performance and your great program today. We were all hoping for it and now you really chose Two Men in Love as your Short Program. What led you to this decision and when did you decide that?

D: It’s more like I am planing to change… depending on where I will perform, I am planing to change between Two Men in Love and Bloodstream. And I decided to… since here I will be first time showing my free program, I think that Two Men in Love is a little bit.. like gives a bigger contrast between the two programs, so I was really willing to make it a bit special.

J: Yea, definitely, it is!

M: So what is like your story behind this program?

D: This program… to me… I really really enjoy the melody, this music is really powerful… it’s… if I would describe a wine… it’s really „full body“… so I enjoy a lot skating to this dynamics that go throughout the whole piece. And it’s a very powerful, powerful piece and I enjoy to interpret it and to skate it the best I can.

M: Whose idea was it in the first place? This music?

D: I had a choice of certain musics and I - out of all that where available - I actually liked this one stand out for me and I really felt that this dynamics could be very well interpreted for my movement and for my skating. It’s really like a challenge in a sense because… well… I think it has a (…) under rhythm which is very hard to exploit and I am looking forward to really manage it and master it to open up a full (…) a full palette of this music piece.

M: But you have actually two short programs, right?

D: Yes, I do have…

M: Why such an unusual decision? You couldn’t decide?

D: One of the ideas initially was because I love to perform in shows and being a competitor and skating in the shows is kind of difficult to have another program that would be like very different. So in order to practice was made a decision to have actually a program that would in a sense mirror the elements of the initial Short Program and that way I would always work towards benefiting Short Program even more than just learning how to express myself for the crowd during a show performances. So it was in a sense a little challenge for me that I am really looking forward to overcome.

S: So if I can add, the initial idea actually was to - everything was correct - and I think there was also this idea of… like a company or a theatre has a seasonal program and in that seasonal program they have different ballets… like in one season you have Giselle and then during Christmas you have the Nutcracker and then at the end you have something contemporary.. so it was more like to be able to show a seasonal program with different pieces. Why to stick with one Short and one Free when you can actually… and he….

M: Wait, wait, do you have two Free Programs too?

S: We are thinking about that… because.. why you have to stick to one Short and one Free…

J: Yea, if you have the possibility…

M: Yea, but isn’t it more difficult to remember all the programs?

S: He has a good memory, an elephant memory.

D: I hope… I think I can manage. And to me skating, performing, working on the steps and overall… I love more the artistic part of figure skating and I really wish and I have a strong desire to actually.. maybe improve figure skating in general towards that direction through my work and my performance… together with Stéph… create a little bit more than usual. And having more programs I don’t think it’s such a big difference .

S: It’s a bigger palette.

D: Yea, the more you can do, the better you are and the technical elements I mean they stay kind of the same for everything, so finding a right pattern means patterns that’s kind of what a right master should be able to do, making jumps through all kind of patterns. And program is in a sense changing only in that way, so it’s also a very good practice for me.

R: So during the practice every day you run through three programs now?

D: I am now running actually far more than I used to and I feel I can get actually much stronger physically during such…

S: He runs all three programs yea…

M: Every time?

S: Not every time… but he runs through every program

D: Two programs…

M: Two?

D: It overall benefits me I think.

M: Do you already also have an exhibition program?

D: Well my other Short is exhibition. It’s kind of… what ever I feel, I skate…

M: That’s nice.

R: You wanted to have another costume? With big stones?

D: I honestly…

S: The first costume fitting was two days ago.

D: I honestly had no idea like how to interpret the Two Men in Love program and I just trusted the designer and he made I think a wonderful job with this costume. It’s super practical, I love it. It’s probably the lightest matrix I ever skated in and about the design of how it looks I find it very beautiful actually.

J towards Stéph: I guess you like this one too…

S: Yes, I really love it.. when I saw it, I was like wow . I am jealous!

R: So it’s not Japanese…

D: That was in Japan actually…

R: So it’s the same costume maker.. from Japan?

D: It’s the one that was making my previous costumes since I am skating with Stéphane… not the first year free program…

S: They made… they did…

D: The last four programs…

S: They did Sway, they did Recondita, they did Samurai, they did the Short Program Papa was a rolling stone…

R: Also exhibition?

S: And they did also exhibition, yes, they did Iron and they did also Nocturne…

J: So… like basically everything.

D: Almost…

S: No, they didn’t do Vivaldi, and they didn’t do Voodoo Child…

J: And Lion King… but that was your costume… (towards Stéph)

D: Lion King, yea…

J: As you talked a lot about the programs… we have a long off-season behind us, long waiting for us fans, so what was the highlight of your off-season for you, either skating wise or personally..?

D: It’s actually a very hard question for me because I had a really memorable… like a lot of amazing moments during this summer. I had been really enjoying it. I had a trip kind of first one on my own in Japan when I went for practicing there when Stéph was also there…

J: Yea, with the Japanese team.

S: Yea but he was on his own.

D: I have skated… I was on my own.

S: First time!

D: I had really good Camps in Champéry with coaches coming from Toronto…

J: Oh yea, the one in the summer Camp…

D: And it was like.. I really found it… I clarified very well my off - ice work which is like a very bright moment. I had enjoyed a lot… first time I actually went mountain climbing.

J: Oh yea, with Chris and Koshiro…

M: Oh, it was the first time..

D: In Champéry yea. Before I would just hike and enjoy the beautiful landscapes but this time I managed actually hanging out from cliffs.. it was really…

M: It wasn’t scary?

J: The view was probably amazing….

D: No, it wasn’t scary, it was… filling up with emotions.

I had a wonderful time at home during my birthday and I enjoyed a lot the company of my parents. And at the same time I had before that as well a very good moment in Champéry when we were doing the camp and it was a really really hard time but it was such a good work that now I am.. although through all these difficulties and hard work actually now I really want to smile because it was a really wonderful moment for me.

J: Yea to finally come through…

D: I learned a lot of the company of my friend Satoko Miyahara, she’s now also competing actually…

J: Oh, in the US, right?

D: Yea, so we had a great camp.. and now we’re…

S: It was really rich actually. We had a very rich off-season.

D: Everyone who is at Japan Open has been in Champéry.

M: But Javi wasn’t…

S: No but the Japanese Team… Yea, Javi was not, but he is Team Europe…

D: During the summer I also for the first time tried to make chocolate. And I really really enjoyed this confiserie…

S: Yea, confiserie…

D: I really enjoyed it

M: Like from the beans?

R: The whole process?

D: Yea from the cacao beans…

S: He makes pralines… but… wow! I mean, get ready, one day he will open his confiserie for sure. He is a master.

D: I definitely really enjoy working precise and with the right tools it works… And I enjoyed a lot this new experience. I also had fun using the Pasta machine this summer quite a bit and…

S: Please land your tripple Axel, you know how to do it…

J: It worked perfectly fine in the warm up…

S: I knooooow… just… just like he says he is a very precise person and to have to be precise… it takes something to let go and once he lets go it’s fine and once he starts thinking then the timing goes a bit… hmmmmm…

D: It’s just a simple problem, if you go, do it perfect, in everything… in cakes it works amazing…

M: In skating not so much…

D: In skating it doesn’t work.

J: Yea, stupid body…

D: When I have a problem in skating my cooking works better so I should make a problem in cooking and skating should work…

S: You get stuck at some point…

J: You have some positive energy…

D: Yes!

J: …and I hope it helps you to achieve your goals in skating…

D: I also in summer had made quite a bit of drawings, like I tried different techniques to draw and enjoyed organizing my flat much more.

J: Oh, wow!

D: And overall this summer… I traveled a lot, I had a lot of good work, and I think what is good, I matured a lot so overall I find that this summer was very constructive and I laid down a good foundation for the upcoming season.

J: So the success will come at some point, I am sure!

S: The success is always there, always there!

After that Stéph got up and gave us very surprisingly two Swiss Chocolate bars as a gift and I also gave Deniss the present from the Fans: Every Day motivational messages. He said that it was a very special present for him and that recently he learned to appreciate these kinds of presents much more.

It was a super nice talk, of course it could have gone on forever, there were much more things to discuss… I would have loved to know and hear more about his new drawings and his travels in Japan… but the next time will come… Of course in both performances, Short - and Free program there was room to improve but this first competitions gives at least me a really positive feeling towards the rest of the season. Deniss was so full of positive energy and proud of the things he has achieved in the off season that I am sure it will show of this season. Can’t wait to follow you on this journey, Deniss!!!

#denissvasiljevs #Stephane Lambiel #teamchampéry #interview #figureskater #figure skating

[missusgordo]

What are your thoughts on the cookie dough speech, and Buffy and Angel's reunion in general? (@sulietsexual just shared her take on it, and then I gave mine, so what's yours?)

Thanks for the ask! It’s been a minute. I did read both of your takes so I’m happy to share my thoughts on the scenes.

Just to clarify, it seems the topic ya’ll touched upon is not just the cookie dough speech but the entire two scenes of Angel’s appearance on btvs s7. The short answer is - I kinda love it all. First of all, I find nothing out of character for either of them. There is often talk that this scene was purely fan-service. Well - the fans were, in fact, serviced by seeing Angel return for the finale. Whether the entire fandom likes it or not, Angel was a character on BtVS for three seasons, was the love of Buffy’s life, and went on to be the cornerstone of the other half of the Buffyverse. Having him come back for the finale was a nice homage to the early seasons, it tied in the events from the Angel-verse to the Buffy-verse, and it was a great way to make a final statement on one of the most iconic relationships on TV in the late 90s.

From a more Watsonian perspective, nothing in that scene feels entirely out of place. Buffy is not in any type of relationship at the moment. It’s true that she shared a tender moment with Spike the night before. And in fact, she tells Angel that Spike is in her heart. But her having feelings for Spike doesn’t mean she doesn’t still have feelings for Angel. Her kissing him when he arrives clues us in on her continued love for Angel (nevermind that she just told us earlier that season that she has never loved anyone the way she loves Angel). I’ve written about this before but Angel doesn’t seem out of character to me either. Whether you think Angel was in love with Cordelia or not, they were not in a relationship at the time that he visited Buffy. Also, when Angel leaves LA the last thing we see of him is how he sees Connor happy with his new family. I’ve written about this more extensively before so I won’t repeat myself but suffice it to say that by the time Angel arrives in Sunnydale his most pressing worry - Connor’s safety - is taken care of. And even if Angel has a heavy heart because his dear friend is in a coma - seriously what is it that fans want to see here? Do they want Angel to come to Buffy, sit her down and say “listen I know you are fighting an apocalypse of epic proportions but do you have some time so I can fill you in on the last season of my show?” It’s just not realistic. And it’s also not in Angel’s character to over-share.

The bottom line is this: whether Buffy and Angel have feelings for other people at the time they see each other, doesn’t mean they have stopped loving each other. And honestly, if you think that’s the case then I think you may want to remove your shipper goggles. Because the show is quite clear that Angel and Buffy continue to feel strongly about each other throughout their time apart. AtS season 5 makes sure that you know this from Angel’s side of things.

With regards to their back and forth about Buffy’s relationship with Spike, I think it fits their pattern fairly well. Putting aside Forever, because that was dealing with Buffy’s grief, the last time before that he was in town he beat Riley up, he made snide remarks at him, gave him a smug ‘eat shit’ grin when he went outside to talk to Buffy and then told Buffy that he didn’t like Riley. Angel has a jealous streak. We see it throughout AtS. The conversation regarding Spike is completely within character to me (I will give you that it’s just a tad heavy heavy-handed - Joss likes to write Angel extra petty) but it’s just par for the course for the B/A dynamic. (Buffy btw is also super jealous with Angel). 

Another thing that is perfectly within the B/A dynamic is Buffy being snarky with Angel. This is the same Buffy that told Angel to contemplate getting over himself in WSWB. The same Buffy that threw his vampirism in his face when she asked if his heart was even beating when he broke up with her. The same Buffy that told Angel that she loved Riley in Sanctuary out of anger. Buffy can be rather hurtful when she’s upset. So when she says the line about “what was the highlight of our relationship?” while to me as a ride-or-die bangel it guts me, it’s honestly just Buffy being Buffy because she’s annoyed that Angel is giving her crap about Spike (which if we’re being honest not really Angel’s place - and to his credit he says he’s probably out of line for asking). But Angel can take it. He knows Buffy just as well as the audience does.

But also, the line regarding the highlight of their relationship from Buffy isn’t 100% entirely wrong. Ok - hear me out before you throw things at me. Of course, the B/A relationship had a number of great and wonderful attributes including mutual love, respect and support. I wouldn’t ship it to hell and back if it wasn’t so great. But the relationship was in large part tragic. Their happiness was constantly ripped away from them and she did send him to hell and he did leave her. Not because she wanted to kill him and not because he wanted to leave her but because they had no choice but to do so. And so yeah, Buffy hasn’t been quite so lucky in love. Which leads perfectly into the speech that is to come.

Ah - the cookie dough speech. I’ll be honest. I haven’t always loved it. I’ve had years where I thought it was great, others where I thought it was dumb. I think I’ve swung back around to the great category. What I have always loved about the speech is this very important message which is Buffy is finally making this about herself. First and most importantly she is finally recognizing that the reason things haven’t worked out with all of the men in her life IS NOT HER FAULT. Which - duh right? But unfortunately thanks in large part to Riley and Spike that lesson was not always obvious. And then she goes on to basically convey that she is choosing to live her life, experience things, get through the next apocalypse and the next one and maybe one day she’ll think about who she settles down with. But it will not be this day. And honestly - this speech is so fucking meta. It’s the show reaching into our living rooms (or now computers or whatever) and saying - ‘listen shippers - this isn’t about Spike or Angel it’s about Buffy.’ And fuck yeah it is! There is literally no other way they could have ended this, in my opinion. 

Oh but wait - we aren’t done yet - because Angel’s walking away, he’s respecting Buffy’s wishes. He’s heard that she needs time to bake. He’s being the respectful and beautiful man that he is - and Buffy can’t just leave it like that. She has to let him know that - she does - sometimes think that far ahead. The implication is clear. She may not see grandchildren in the offing with Spike but she does think of him in the future, sometimes. And hey - sometimes is something.

On the whole, I can’t help but love it. I love all of it. I love Angel letting Buffy kick Caleb’s ass alone, I love him enjoying watching her fight, I love her unable to resist kissing him. I love that he wants to fight at her side. I love that she doesn’t want to risk his life in this battle. I love that Angel wants to know who Buffy thinks about when she thinks of a future. I love that Buffy leaves the door purposefully open on their potential future. I guess... I just ... love it all. 

Ok I’ve rambled enough. Maybe this is why people don’t send me asks haha. Thanks for sending me one though my friend!! Even if we have slightly different takes :)

#thanks for the ask #bangel #buffy #angel #chosen #cookie dough speech #we-pay-for-everything

[kpoppernov-10]

Monsta X Concert Review

On Saturday 8/3/19, I went to the MONSTA X <WE ARE HERE> show at the Hulu Theater in NYC. After such a great concert last year, I was more than happy for my second Kpop concert to be at Monsta X’s next world tour. The fact that it was in NY instead of NJ made it even easier for me to attend. Plus, my brother joined me for this concert so it was nice to go to a Kpop event with someone. This year’s experience was a bit different from last year’s, but one thing that stayed consistent is that Monsta X put on a good show. 

There’s a lot to discuss, so I’ve broken down the concert experience into parts.

Pre-Concert

Tickets

As I mentioned in a previous post, getting a ticket took more work this year. There seems to have been a technical problem with the Powerhouse website but I was still able to get decent tickets. I think I was technically closer to the stage than I was last year, but I was more to the left of it so I wasn’t able to watch Monsta X from the center like last time. Nevertheless, I was in the front row of my section, so I was able to see and enjoy everything fairly well.

Venue

Although it was easier to get to this venue, it was nowhere near as nice as the New Jersey Performing Arts Center. For a place as famous as Madison Square Garden, the Hulu Theater is very basic with not much aesthetic at all—mostly just grey walls filled with (granted, comfy) seats. That’s not a big deal though since that aspect of the venue doesn’t really matter. But what does matter is the fact that the acoustics were lacking so the sound quality for this concert wasn’t as good as the rich, surround-sound-like experience of the NJPAC. It’s a shame that the venue had an unfortunate effect on the concert but oh well :/

Crowd

There was obviously a high percentage of young females but there seems to have been slightly more guys than before. There were very few older people attending this show and few Asian people in general, but I think the group was still diverse. The crowd waited patiently outside in the setting sun, and it was really nice to see two concertgoers dressed in Ongshimi Minhyuk outfits! The general check-in process was very organized but there was, understandably, much more security (metal detectors, bag x-rays and K-9 dogs) since this is NYC. Either way, everyone was seated and ready to go in no time thanks to all the helpful staff.

CONCERT

Although the concert was originally advertised to be at 8 PM, I found out only a few days earlier that it would actually be at 7 PM. But I guess most people got the memo because the place was pretty much full before the show started. There were some “false alarms” because a few things happened before everything officially began (e.g. the lights dimmed, a screen for the tour popped up and an Mnet ad appeared twice), but the show did start at approximately 7:10 PM. 

Stage/Audio/Visual

The main stage wasn’t that big and it was only one level, but there were multiple big screens that displayed things from different angles and used different effects. The screens enhanced the overall concert experience since I could watch close ups on side screens and also enjoy background visuals on the main screen. Like I said, the audio was not very good and sounded a bit low for some reason. It also seemed like the audio was only coming from the stage area instead of sound filling up the entire theater. Either way, the lighting was good and there were points during performances where stage lights changed colors, steam blew from the stage and confetti rained over part of the audience.

Videos

The show started with a really cool opening video that introduced the group/members. The other concert videos were also good and I actually think that this year’s video content was better than last year’s. Instead of a Monsta X party, they had “MonTube” that showed each member doing funny YouTube-style video clips that related to their personalities and interests. The other videos showed more scenes and details from the Alligator/Shoot Out era and they did a good job explaining the whole 7 Deadly Sins concept that they’ve pretty much had since their Beautiful era. Although I definitely enjoyed the videos for The Connect Tour, I still don’t quite know what they were really about. So Monsta X did a much better job at making their videos entertaining yet understandable this year. 

Talks

Monsta X talked throughout the concert in both English and Korean (with a translator), but they made a clear effort to speak more English this time. Although some members still struggle with English, you could hear how much other members improved (Kihyun’s English is now the second best in the group!) and most were able to speak more comfortably than last year. The most surprising part of the talks was when each member gave a little speech entirely in English at the end of the show. I honestly think they should’ve just let Shownu and Wonho speak Korean since it was so difficult for them to express themselves in a different language, but I appreciate the effort and I think their English will continue to improve with time.

Songs/Performances

Monsta X performed about 20 songs, plus they had special group acts and solos. There were more props for this concert which was a nice touch to their performances. As usual, everyone sounded good and the dancing was on point. I think their wardrobe was better than last year’s and their black and gold outfits were my favorite. They sang about half of the songs from each of their latest albums, some songs from The Connect mini album, but few (or even no) songs from the rest of their discography. I guess Monsta X is reaching a point in their career where their song collection has gotten so big that many great songs can’t be in their concerts simply due to time constraints. And the fact that they released two full length albums back-to-back made it even less likely that most of their older songs would be performed. Nevertheless, some of the missing songs were featured in the bgm of their videos and overall Monsta X picked a solid set list that included different styles, energies and moods for the concert.

I’m not a fan of the remix versions of Monsta X songs, but the 8-bit video screen for I’M’s part in Hero was really nice. They sang less title tracks but the new choreography for their non-title tracks was good (especially for Oh My). Minhyuk and Jooheon sang the Ongshimi chorus during one of the talks and it was funny when Jooheon sang and Wonho rapped another member’s part while performing. I was surprised that many of my favorite songs weren’t in the concert, but it was good seeing less/non-promoted songs live. The solo performances were a real treat since I enjoyed Jooheon's drum solo and Hyungwon’s DJ stage was one of the best parts of the show. 

Conclusion

Overall, it was great to see Monsta X again. Unlike last year, I had to stand up most of the time so I could see, but thankfully I didn’t lose my voice or get dehydrated because I learned my lesson from my first concert :P. There was actually more humor in this show than last year so it was fun to enjoy music and laugh throughout the evening. I hope everyone had a wonderful time, and I’m glad that the rest of the world tour was a success. Monsta X, fighting!

For more details about the concert, keep reading :)

Intro video

Shoot Out, Hero (remix), Trespass (remix)

Intro talk

Kihyun screams hits a high note that makes him cough

It was really funny/cute when Minhyuk was like “Did you miss us? Did you miss ME?? Did you miss Wonho?”

Party Time, Play It Cool

Talk + Kihyun asks us to sing the chorus of Play It Cool’s English version

Mohae, Jealousy

MonTube video

Shownu - ASMR mukbang

Wonho - Fitness

Minhyuk - Makeup

Kihyun - Coffee

Hyungwon- Fashion

Jooheon - Cooking (makes a Honeyto burrito)

I.M. - English class 

Group Performances 

Kihyun, Minhyuk, & Hyungwon -  Bazzi’s Myself

Jooheon & I.M hip hop song + Jooheon plays the drums

Wonho & Shownu - Mirror (made by Wonho)

Talk about songs

Jooheon & I.M messed up the bottle flip during their performance so they tried again but still failed :P Hyungwon was the one who was able to do it. (Note: They didn’t get around to talking about their song, but according to @KUnnies_on Twitter it’s called 삼박자)

Honestly, Noel Hada, Sweetheart

Talk

No Reason

7 Deadly Sins Movie 

This was a very interesting video because it clearly showed which sin each member was portraying: wrath (Shownu), sloth (Wonho), agony (Minhyuk), loneliness (Kihyun), pride (Hyungwon), greed (Jooheon), and envy (I.M.). Even though I already knew/figured out most of this already, the reason why I wasn’t sure about some of them is because they replaced lust and gluttony with agony and loneliness, which are more emotions than actual sins. 

It’s nice that the video officially clarified all this because I thought Minhyuk was lust since many of his scenes in MVs had roses in them and Kihyun was gluttony since all the formula-filled images related to him made it seem that he was a glutton for knowledge or something (or maybe Wonho was gluttony because he ate an apple in an MV?). Either way, their concept makes more sense now :)

Who Do You Love, Dramarama

Talk

Oh My, Special, Fallin’

Talk + them acting like this was the end of the show :P

Alligator, H.One’s DJ performance, Rodeo

Real Goodbye/Closing (mostly done in English)

By My Side

Group picture, Wonho’s shirt toss, final bows

Credits with behind the scenes footage

#Monsta X #world tour #NYC kpop #kpop #we are here

[sashagreypocket-blog]

Masturbate and Feel Good

male stroker "Masturbation... is simply not approved of the actual Lord not this religious organization, regardless of what can be said by those as their 'norms' are lower", Chief executive Kimball of the Religious organization involving Jesus Christ connected with Latter-Day Bienheureux (1981)

male stroker

"Every sperm is usually sacred. Each and every sperm is wonderful. If some sort of sperm is thrown away, Lord gets quite irate. very well Monty Python's The real meaning associated with Life.

A quotation generally used by various chapels in an effort for you to contain illicit serves amidst its people. Every single monserga on masturbation would likely estimate it, at least all of the sermons I have listened to. Within the circumstances, is the idea difficult to envision fleshlight as one of the particular biggest taboos in each of our society? Even today? Research education has done a new little to switch it. Can that mean people no longer masturbate? Certainly not. 00% of men and 70 percent of girls masturbate according to help various reports. The difficulty lies in the endorsement of the fact in which you masturbate. Clearly the story... a story regarding you.

A single night anyone were sitting on your own within your apartment eating lasagna. You decided to verify out a few new web sites on the net whilst you eat. So you journal on to the speed of your internet connection as well as start surfing. Inadvertently, you locate some piece of pornography(yes, online is quite entire of it! ) Shopping at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingley amongst the legs. One issue leads to an additional and also you end up going bad your own underpants. Now enable me tell you one more story.

One night you are sitting alone in any pub drinking beer. Along with then some sort of most wonderful person penetrates the club. The person that reasons tingley between your lower limbs just investigating him or even her. You decide this you can't release this kind of opportunity to get in order to know this creation regarding god. And that means you move to this person and initiate little talk. One thing contributes to another and you conclusion up in your current condo.

Whether you are a new woman or possibly a man, typically the next morning you actually more than likely be jumping using delight in the first event. When you go out and about in the nighttime to be able to meet your friends, a person would not necessarily tell these people about the hot website you found and precisely how an individual jerked off for you to it. Even so, in often the second case, less complicated sharing with anyone who cared for to help listen how you possessed by far the most wonderful experience involving your life you get. The reason why? Well, maybe simply because self applied pleasure is, effectively, practically nothing special. You can accomplish the item anytime you would like. Of course influencing the actual person of your ambitions is very an accomplishment. Zero wonder you may need an market. But what when you have the friend like me. A pal who is crazy plenty of individuals you did anyone wank off yesterday evening? Ended up being it good? Precisely what could you do then? Would likely you inform your friend concerning the hot web site along with your experience? Would you actually merely say, "Yeah! The idea was wonderful! What with regards to you? " Or maybe will you pretend nothing acquired happened and lie... similar to you were somewhere different yesterday night time, or perhaps lead your pal in order to believe you got happy having someone?

I in the morning guessing you would probably do the particular latter. Most certainly you'll not acknowledge the act connected with masturbation. Rather you might elude the question in addition to alter the topic. And any time your close friend tells a person about a hot cure the same night, an individual would want a jar of water when you could possibly drown. Shame as well as shame would come over anyone and you would transform the issue in two times quick time period. Are you actually crazy? Noway! You will be simply one of the vast majority. And an amazing majority with that! Way more bulk that what George Rose bush had in the very last elections! The reason why -social fitness!

You are the same as the child who ran outside the movies hall that was screening process an adult film (mind a person, he had absolutely no business that they are there inside the first place! However each of the cinemas care in relation to is the good discounts associated with their tickets! )

After in the day, typically the buddy who had also been at the movies along with him, caught up together with him or her and asked, "Why from the hell's name does an individual run out? micron The youngster answered, "My mom explained if My spouse and i watched a woman acquiring naked I would switch to gemstone. And darn you Harry, a aspect of me was actually becoming stone! "

Unfortunately, often the social conditioning is definitely inappropriate. It is while wrong for the reason that social issue in 18-19th hundred years Of india, where widows were being compelled to burn well using their husbands. As drastically wrong as the church ended up being in using up Galileo with regard to implying everything was definitely not the centre from the whole world. Lily Tomlin placed it ideal, "We have reason why you should consider that man first strolled upright to free the hands for masturbation! inch If god didn't desire us to masturbate, possibly we would still become walking such as dogs and also horses!

Typically the social health and fitness is a result regarding several myths, lies along with hoaxes perpetrated by many individuals regarding personal gain. Unfortunately, that conditioning is actually like a hard enthusiast, very tough to fracture. However, with effort in addition to chanelising your energies, you may break it. Remember, the actual nuts that crack the toughest, are often the versions that taste the top! Anyone must be wondering, what sort of hell does it subject if you are guilty about fleshlight. Why wouldn't you spend time smashing this housing?

Certain objective believe that guiltiness cognizant, whether sexual remorse or perhaps in any other application form, is the most detrimental element on your mental well being. Others find that it is one involving the most destructive. Yet the biggest effect connected with guilt conscious in my opinion offers been a lack associated with confidence throughout self. At this point you are an brilliant reader. I don't want to clarify you the particular importance of self self-confidence. Specific your career, romantic relationships or any some other feature of life, lack regarding self-assurance can bring your own personal downfall. I am not really implying which will you start off to feel more secure regarding masturbation, you would certainly succeed in almost all features of life. But this will be nice step to be able to take. A useless sense of guilt that should, and they are eliminated from your mind. Recall, an ocean is built of tiny droplets involving water. Eradicate a decline at a time since due time, the water would be empty! Involving course it will take numerous millennia! The good news is, you have a tendency have an ocean rich in guily! Just some naggings occasionally!

The first action towards eradication with this shame is knowledge. There are actually hundreds and hundreds of myths around fleshlight. Most of them perpetrated by certitude, unfortunately. Nevertheless some perpetrated by simply con runners. Lets look into typically the most important ones.

one particular. Fleshlight is against often the will connected with god.

Hokum. At a single point the actual church regarded as anyone who else was overtly ardent for you to his wife a adultrater. Follow that instructing as well as your wife would end up being doing adultery! Several clergymen have become on record to help say which not merely the church's coaching concerning sexuality were not related in order to the scriptures, but that they can caused more harm when compared with good amongst people. Aside from, nowhere in the non secular instruction of any key foi is masturbation regarded incorrect.

2. Masturbation can cause erectile dysfunction.

Most men and even several girls seem to think and so. Wrong again. Lets undertake the repair of the males first. Its understandable that seeing their very own sperm flow out associated with themselves, they think that may end sometimes. Effectively, it will end eventually... maybe when you are generally 100 years old. Although until then don't be anxious. Your sperm bank is fairly unlike Standard Chartered. You could have unlimited credit here! Ejaculate is a completely replenishable useful resource, renewable on the hourly foundation! For girls, well, there is simply no schedule in the hypothesis. Probably perpetrated by outdated ladies who also never experienced an ejaculation in all their entire life!

several. Fleshlight causes acne, hairloss, skin area diseases.

This one will be my favorite. Mainly due to the fact it is one of several a great deal better scams of all occasions! Your own personal social conditioning would likely have you feel that fleshlight is not particularly healthy. But awful how? No person would present you a satisfying reply! Now some scam music artists saw this as a good fine opportunity to will sell their products just like frizzy hair growth lotions, etc. Considering that most people start masturbating throughout their teens, (the periods of pimple and additional skin problems), they'd possess you believe that this particular is a result of masturbation! Unfortunately for them, it is seeing that untrue as the direct sun light rising from the western world! Fleshlight has no actual side effects!

some. Masturbating will make you slender and skinny!

Then there is no need for diet program pills and exercise routines my friend! And almost all surely 70% of US would not be overweight!

your five. Merely Kids masturbate!

Exactly why can you say that? My partner and i wonder! Very well quite not true, most grownups masturbate... yes even after marital life!

some. Masturbation is for guys.

And it is intended for 70% in the women way too. That's right, 2/3 regarding all females masturbate!

8. Only losers masturbate!

Yet another of my favorites. Simply goes to show merely how much of the taboo is masturbation! Right off the bat, 00% of males and also seventy percent of females have got masturbated at least once with their existence. Now that will is a hell of your lot of losers avoid you feel! Nothing far more that I can also add genuinely... this is really the particular supreme insecurity amongst men and women with regards to self pleasure.

6. Fleshlight is for homosexuals.

Wow. Exactly where did in which one originate! An individual have to make a etymology of the myths, would make to get an intriguing read! Merely as untrue because just about all these myths, masturbation along with homosexuality have nothing in accordance. Some people masturbate to be able to their dreams of contrary sex, some others to their own fantasies of similar sexual. That's it.

being unfaithful. Fleshlight will make you impaired!

Others claim that fleshlight is usually bad for your personal eyesight. Nonetheless their states are unsupported by specifics and health care advice. We suggest you talk for you to your standard physician in addition to he will describe anyone what a load involving bull this is.

twelve. Fleshlight changes the appearance of your manhood

Nicely, it does make the idea firm. But believe us, after you orgasm, the firmness fully gone! So no. Fleshlight provides absolutely no influence on how the penis appears to be.

[nemossubmarine]

Warhammer 40k: Wrath & Glory RP #1

So about 2 years after finishing KoNS, I’m starting another “another RP”. This time it’s gon’ be some space adventures as we’ll be playing Wrath and Glory which is set in the Warhammer 40k universe. There will be guns, some cyborgs, maybe some aliens? We’ll see.

But first, let’s meet the player characters:

Cayenne Pepper (played by @fuzzybooks), a rogue trader of the Pepper dynasty, spice merchants. Being only the 75th cousin in line of the head of the family, she’s mostly safe from assassination attempts. Got herself a nifty little space ship called Santa Maria.

Gorm Oddmundson (@raddigested) is a Space Wolf scout. This little cub is far away from home and for some reason without his pack. He is looking for that good, good glory.

Gimlet (@xxyumeganxx) in an ex-inquisitonal acolyte. Having left the inquisition after some inside trouble he now is roped into looking after a newly awakened psyker Saef.

Saef (@arctic-urpo) was a ganger until his whole gang got wiped out of existence in an unfortunate event he doesn’t want to talk about. Now he is a psyker and has wanders the world with Gimlet as to stay out of trouble.

Then, onto the story!

Our party of heroes have arrived in the Adeptus Mechanicus controlled Forge World of Triplex Phall, located in the Eastern fringes of the Empire to meet with a tech priest.

The Pepper family wishes to strengthen their bonds with the Tech Cult, so they have agreed to take on some work for them to gain some favors.

Cayenne Pepper has been ordered to do this job, and has taken Saef and Gimlet, new hirings to the ships precisely for this with her.

Gorm is here because the Pepper family has ties to the Space Wolves, and Cayenne decided having one could be useful.

The tech priest is not currently in his room, so our heroes are told to wait, and wait they do.

Gorm introduces himself to everyone, and asks for everyone’s names and comments on Saef’s nice pants! 

He also asks why everyone is here on this mission: Cayenne’s answer is business, Saef is just following orders and Gimlet admits on being interested in the Mechanicus.

Gorm takes this moment to wax poetry about his home-world of Fenris. Aah, Fenris, its icy peaks and glaciers are beauty incarnate!

They talk among themselves about what to expect, the tech priest’s ad hadn’t been exactly specific.

Gimlet says he has heard there might be Inquisition agents on the planet they’re heading.

Gorm comments that he hasn’t much experience with Inquisitors as he has never met one and Gimlet says that he hasn’t either.

Gimlet talks about wanting to know history especially related to the AdMech. He also seems to be curious in this particular tech priest that has hired them.

Gorm asks if Gimlet is the writing type, as he is in need of a person to write down his glorious adventures!

Gimlet agrees. 

Cayenne tells about the galas that her family does, helping orphaned animals.

Gorm asks if there’s any pets on board her ship.

She says yes, some cats and dogs. There’s also an indoor park and a shark tank!

Gorm says he isn’t much of a cat person himself. Definitely more of a dog person.

Gorm takes this moment to relay the tale of his childhood, where he was thrown into the sea, swam to find a kraken who raised him. Hence why he is called the “Child of the Kraken”.

This lovely tale is barely finished when the tech priest arrives. Much like the rest of his kin, he is rather haphazardly put-together figure with several extra limbs and eyes.

He leads our heroes to his lair, a tower-like room filled with shelves and computer screens.

There’s also a cream-colored cat that jumps onto the priest’s shoulder.

The tech priest shakes Cayenne’s hand with the hand that still appears to have some skin left on it, even still it’s cold and unpleasant. 

He introduces himself as E-E \\ 821.

Now onto the mission at hand.

A four person group of Mechanicus has disappeared on a mission in the planet Styria R867, led by E-E \\ 821′s sergeant K303 2:82. The tech priest wishes them to be found.

The planet itself is a curious thing, it  is unreachable for hundreds of years at a time, because of a storm and only comes out of it for 10 years at a time. Even then it is incredibly hostile as far as living there goes, but it does host a small population of human settlers, who mostly do mining.

The Imperium presence on the planet is really sparse, there’s members of Ministorum on the planet but not much else.

There used to  be some kind of ancient civilization there, and the storm occasionally uncovers ruins. 

The Mechanicus went to the planet to survey the ruins to see if there’s a need for the Mechanicus to ready a bigger mission, and to possibly find the origin of the storm so that the Imperium could use it better.

There is a settlement of Hellhole, where the Mechanicus were last seen. A Sister of Battle resides there, and she could be useful informant.

If the Mechanicus are dead, a data disk must be retrieved  from the Sergeant’s body, that is the condition in which our heroes are paid for their services.

The tech priest is very fond of swerving questions by asking clarifying questions and then answering those instead of the first question, but our heroes still get a lot of information.

Cayenne asks for something to show the Mechanicus to show that our heroes are authorized by their commander. 

E-E \\ 821 gives her a badge of the Mechanicus symbol with some damage on it.

They leave. Gorm doesn’t take his eyes off the cat, because he is suspicious, and just before the doors’ to the lair close he sees the tech priest give the cat a little pat on the head with his mechanical claw hand.

Before getting too far, Gorm has one more thing that he wishes from the tech priest, so they return.

Gorm wishes to have something with the sergeant’s smell on it.

As the tech priest starts climbing up his tower to find something that fits the description, his cat decides to take this moment to jump down in front of Gorm.

Despite Gorm showing no inclination for playfulness, the cat seems to be ready to play.

Gorm asks someone to get rid of the cat before he loses it.

Gimlet swoops in and attempts to befriend the cat, but she gets scared, smacks him on the hand and finds safety on Gorm’s shoulders.

Luckily before Gorm wolfs out, the tech priest returns, gently swoops up the cat and places it back on his shoulders.

For Gorm, the tech priest hands out the sergeant’s undershirt.

Gorm and Gimlet make a hasty retreat before the cat can do anything else bad, while Cayenne and Saef stay to say proper goodbyes.

Gorm says bye from the other end of the hallway, and the tech priest opens up a speaker right next to him to bid him goodbye.

After leaving, they talk a bit in the hallway, Gorm comments on having difficulty with robot-people.

Cayenne says eye-contact is important and instructs him to pick an eye and stick to it.

Then it’s off to Styria R867! 

Cayenne has her servo-skull to give a tour of the ship to the other three.

Gorm takes Saef to the tax-free shop to pick out moomin mugs for themselves.

While there he comments that he has heard good things about Saef’s gang, and he wishes to be Saef’s gang friend.

Saef doesn’t seem too enthusiastic about this, but he mutters a “sure” and keeps on looking at the mugs.

Gorm asks if they should ask the other people to be in the gang as well, but Saef says he should take care of recruitment.

Then the last bit of business is deciding whether to be a violent or non-violent gang.

Saef says he’s alright as long as he gets to fight, which sounds pretty violent.

As Santa Maria has warp travel capabilities it doesn’t take our heroes long to get to Styria R867.

They get teleported on the surface of the planet little ways away from Hellhole. And immediately get attacked by three scorpions. (as one occasionally does)

Gimlet immediately gets face-full of poison from a stinger shot. Gorm rushes that scorpion and gets a hit in with his cool-ass chain-sword.

Gimlet retreats a bit and takes care of the poison before anything else.

One of the scorpions attacks Gorm, but can’t get through his armor.

Cayenne takes a shot with her plasma gun, absolutely annihilating the third remaining. Unfortunately her gun jams.

Saef takes this moment to show off his psyker powers, smiting one of the scorpions.

Gorm finishes one of the remaining ones and Gimlet shoots down the last into bits.

Gorm turns around and demands to know which one of our group is a psyker. 

Saef rises his hand and Gorm tells that he doesn’t appreciate magic.

I guess that’s it for their awesome little gang.

Cayenne gets a bunch of unhelpful comments about her weapon such as, try turning it on and off again (Gimlet) and smash it against a rock (Gorm).

She knows her way around a plasma weapon however, and cleans it up no problem.

There is no more incidents as our heroes reach the settlement of Hellhole. Situated against the mountain they are mining in, the settlement consists of houses made out of mis-matched metal plates. There’s an AdMech ship parked on the front.

A woman clad in the black-and-white armor of the Sisters of Battle comes to meet up with them and introduces herself as Portia Bailey.

Upon hearing our heroes want to discuss the missing mechs, she suggests they do so in her house (well, more of a shack).

Sister Portia is a bit of a rambler, veering off-topic quite often, but from what our heroes can gather, the Mechanicus went to a ruined castle on the other side of the mountain.

Sister Portia has been to the castle before, but it was filled with traps and generally unsafe, she tried to warn the Mechanicus of this as well, even saying she could come with, but the Mechanicus were rather secretive.

In fact only the sergeant (or as Sister Portia says, the weird horse-legged one) did talking, the rest communicated among themselves in sign language.

After the Mechanicus left and weren’t heard from again, Sister Portia went to check the castle and noticed that the ancient machines in the castle were powered up again and the giant doors to the castle were locked up tight.

Sister Portia knocked but no answer.

She surmises that maybe the Mechanicus just wanted a castle, but admits that she has no real proof they are still alive.

She suggests our heroes travel to the castle at night, as they are less likely to be attacked by beasts as the nights still get cold-ish around here.

Plus they could catch glimpses of movement in the castle.

Before leaving the Mechanicus’ ship is there, although locked.

Sister Portia says she’ll look the other way if our heroes want to take a look. Which they do.

Before they can get to the ship, they are stopped by two kids, Layla (11), who is really interested in big Space Marine man (Gorm lets her hold his chain-sword) and Laurel (8), who asks about the big ship in the space.

Their mother calls them away before they can waste too much of our heroes’ time.

Gorm breaks the lock on the Mechanicus ship, and our heroes take a look around.

Cayenne looks over the sergeant’s room, and finds a data pad where the captain’s logs are generally kept, but she can’t crack the code of it. She still takes it with.

Saef goes over the other people’s living areas and notes that they are bereft of any signs of living or personal belongings.

Gimlet takes the bridge, and extracts the black box of the ship, but he has no tools to listen to the recordings inside.

Gorm checks over the cargo bay, and notes that the Mechanicus, especially the Sergeant appear to be extremely well-armed.

He also finds a device for listening to black box recordings. So that’s what they do next.

They pick the latest recording; the only speaker appears to be the sergeant, who admits to some uncertainty about the situation, saying he hopes “that Eden is right”. His musing are interrupted by something and he laughs and reprimands someone named Tora for their (sign) language. He then notes that it’s best that he does the talking while the rest can communicate via sign language.

There’s few oddities on the recording. 

Gorm is convinced something is up with the sign language and wishes they could have visual recordings of the Mechanicus.

(also we found out both Gimlet and Cayenne know the basics of sign language, though very specialized language only)

Gimlet notes that it is odd for the Mechancius to laugh, as they pride themselves in getting rid of their humane qualities.

Cayenne noticed the two names spoken, Eden and Tora, neither of which appear in anyway in their mission statements.

Gimlet suggests they could maybe ask the kids about anything odd the Mechanicus might have done while here, and everyone thinks it’s a good idea.

They find the kids in the mesh hall with their mother, who doesn’t want to talk about the Mechanicus.

Gorm tries to persuade the mother to come with her outside but only manages to her to clamp up even more.

Gimlet asks her to get them some food, which she agrees to, buying our heroes few moments with the kids.

Laurel, the boy, whispers what he knows into Cayenne’s ears. Apparently he had caught a glimpse of some of the non-sergeant Mechanicus without their hoods/helmets and he says they had pieces missing on their faces.

When they noticed Laurel they got really angry, and he ran away, which Cayenne says was a smart move.

And that’s enough information gathering for one day. Next time our heroes start heading for the castle! What mysteries will await them there? We’ll see.

#wag rp #wag rp writeup #campaign tag: tomb raiders #long post #nemo roleplays #im glad you guys got to bond with my fave npc #the cream colored cat :P #and by bond i mean be bothered by her #her name is felis catus and she is the best #reminder to self write something for the cptn's log #they're bound to break into that next sesh :P #woof i was meaning to write fic today but this took longer than i expected and it's already 19 #and by longer than expected i mean i should have expected it would take long #ah well maybe i can get something still done today #tomorrow is eurovision #but it's not like i have anything else :P being the une #mploymed person that i am #anyway i was rather happy with the first session #even though i had to throw out some clues there i had not planned in advance #so now gotta figure that shit out #it helps that i am basing the mechanicus somewhat on my kill team mechs #altho there are some heavy heavy alterations on the story obvs #since this is a completely different situation #but at least i know my admechs relatively well #i hope my players enjoy the admech stuff too :D #they are in no way obligated to follow that story any more than finding them mechs #but we'll talk about that once we get there #aka at the end of this thing

[mooncaps]

Okay, so shout-outs to the anon (or maybe multiple anons) who told me to read Marcy’s Super Secret Scrapbook. I freaking loved it! I’m also glad I read it at this point and didn’t wait until after the whole series. It makes such a good companion piece to the Stakes mini-series.

The Enchiridion was...not quite as exciting, but still had a couple of neat tidbits. Simon’s notes are nice. The Wizard section was fairly interesting. Some nice lore and world-building. I kind of wish the Bestiarum Vocabulum section had a bit more to it. And I must admit I was slightly disappointed that the Enchiridion did not, in fact, explicitly state that you should not strike a foe who’s raised their bottom to the sky. The Scrapbook is so in line with the mini-series; it would’ve been nice if the Enchiridion could’ve incorporated that as a little nod. They cover their bases with the explanation that there are multiple editions and even strongly imply that Finn’s was an earlier edition, but it still would’ve been neat.

A far more glaring omission is the Empress. Hierophant and the Vampire King are both mentioned in the Scrapbook, but the Empress isn’t. She knew both Marceline and Simon. Marcy had her power of invisibility so she must have staked and absorbed her at some point. My best guess is that the Empress enthralled Simon at a point when Simon was still writing the notes and it was on one of the pages he pulled out before he left. Or maybe Marceline just didn’t write it down for some reason. Or the writers just dropped the ball and didn’t catch this little continuity hiccup.

Those are my general thoughts. I’m also doing the whole images of my some of my favorite stuff interspersed with my reactions and commentary thing, but since this is gonna be an extra-extra long post, I’ve decided to actually use a read more cut this time.

Marcy and Bonnie talking about Simon in the margins. Give me some of that in the show.

This is the kind of lore development I like to learn about.

Does that mean the writers have thoughts about more Shoko development in future episodes and didn’t want to burn up their ideas in the side material?

International crisis. I mean that was more-or-less implied by the irradiated world, but I like learning more info. Also, he’s already talking about going North. It fits that they paired this with the Scrapbook. The notes follow through for tracking Simon’s progression into madness.

Sure. Again, kind of vaguely implied already by the series, but nice to know.

Now all I can think of is “long ago the four nations lived together in harmony...” Thanks to whoever sent that ask.

I may wanna get these on buttons or patches for my coat to go with the Avatar symbols.

Not sure what to make of this. I feel like it’s some kind of lore for the show. Maybe something to do with Prismo?

Hoo boy. Here we go. The feels train is pulling into the station.

This relationship is just so moving. I’m a sucker for found families.

More world building. Bring it on.

Even if Simon’s story hadn’t been tied to Marcy’s, it would still be one of the most interesting parts of the show. And that first paragraph feels like something that should’ve come up in the show by now. They really haven’t explained quite enough about Betty for my liking. Learning that she has a history of studying these kinds of things helps clarify why she’s so willing and able to take the approach she’s been taking.

After Bonnie and Neddy, I can only assume that this is the Mother Gum in its early days.

Mmhm. Sure. Matter’s more pliable. I can dig it.

The vibrational talk reminded of that bag of miniature people that Magic Man planted on Finn that one time. And he had to shake them to speak to them on their vibrational plane or whatever. I wonder if that’s ever gonna come back with some kind of added significance.

Reminds me of when Life kissed Death.

Wonder if that was a deliberate nod or not.

This. Relationship.

Again, I’m glad I read this now. The thing I couldn’t quite puzzle out after Stakes was where Hunson Abadeer fit into things. This is filling in some of the blanks quite nicely.

You know, after seven seasons of Grob Gob Glob Grod, it was a little jarring to actually see the word “God” here. I’ve got a pretty good recall for character voices, so I could basically hear Tom Kenny saying it as I read it. Of course it makes sense that Simon would have God in his vernacular. Somehow, after the phrase being conspicuously absent for so long, it seems to punch up the impact.

She celebrates her birthday around the time Simon found her! This precious child!

Oh, I can hear it in her voice. My heart!

“I don’t think I’ll ever see him again. Ever.”

There’s no mention of her encountering him again in the scrapbook. I’ve already mentioned the Empress, conspicuous in her absence. And she alludes to other meet-ups in the episode “I Remember You.” I can only assume those meetings take place after the last page of the scrapbook.

I’d love to know more though. I’d love to see her first discovering that Simon’s still alive, but completely insane now. And I’d love to know how we get from this:

To this:

There’s so much of the story that’s still untold.

That moment in Bad Little Boy where Ice King was like “Gob, I’m sorry I doubted your power” kind of takes on a new dimension when you think about how Simon’s from a different time.

“I hope these bring you comfort now that I’m gone, and remind you that you are loved.”

Just fuck me up, why don’t you?

“I want to feel her holding me in her arms and hugging me again like that.”

JUST FUCK ME UP, WHY DON’T YOU?

Again, this ties in so well with the Stakes mini-series. This was exactly the right time to read this for maximum emotional resonance.

Oh, Marcy, you poor, sweet, confused, little angel.

Well, I wanted to know where Hunson fit into things. Should’ve known it would be bad times.

Yeah, I can kind of relate to not having a great father but still wondering how much of who you are is from him.

Deep. Especially at her age. Simon did say she was smart. And of course she had to grow up fast, given that world was a wreck.

“He didn’t deserve what happened to him.”

I concur.

I can also kind of relate to giving your not-so-great dad another chance and getting burned again. I suppose it’s not really a shock that I gravitate toward characters who have poor relationships with their fathers.

I never really gave any thought to how difficult it would’ve been to even find fries at that time. And the fact that it was the first time he stole something specifically from her also gives it a little more weight. Like I’ve said before, it’s hard to tell when something’s just a throwaway gag and when something’s gonna come back later with added perspective and significance. I have to wonder how much they thought about in advance and how much is just them looking back and saying “we can expand on that.”

There must be at least some of it that they knew they wanted to develop even from the very early stages.

It’s interesting to figure out where Hunson comes into the picture, but I still don’t fully understand all of it. Primarily: How could a human woman see enough merit in Hunson Abadeer that she would want to sleep with him? What stopped him from immediately sucking out her soul? Why was he even on Earth shortly before or during the Great Mushroom War? There’s still a lot of room to grow on here.

Oh, honey, you’re the most interesting person in this universe.

“I still hope for a living friend.”

I was kind of hoping I might get the story of how she met Bonnibel, but I guess they’re saving that for the show. Must be after the events in the scrapbook.

Gimme all the lore. And Marcy wandering through an abandoned sunken mall full of skeletons shouting for Simon is an absolutely heartbreaking thought.

This angel child deserves nothing but happiness.

THIS. RELATIONSHIP.

She found a puppy! Ahhh! They’re so precious!

Yas, Queen!

This poor girl can just never catch a break.

This backstory is fantastic.

RIP, my dude.

Rise, Marcy the Vampire Slayer.

Let’s go!

Oh no, what’s wrong with Schwabl?

Marcy defending the last of the life on Earth against the scourge of the vampires. I’d seriously watch a whole series of this.

“Staking vampires, protecting the last remaining humans. It felt like I was protecting you. It was the only thing that brought me happiness during those years.”

Fascinating.

It’s rough watching a character who’s so good go through so much pain.

No, not the puppy!

Save the puppy!

Also, that time she almost went feral on Jake was probably really terrible for her because it would have stirred up these memories.

Another good reason to pair the Enchiridion - and particularly Simon’s notes - with this. Who would’ve thought that Marcy owned it for a time?

Thank goodness something turned out okay in all of this.

Wild. So is this Simon and the Crown, or some other force causing it? Does it affect the whole planet, or just the continent Marcy’s on? What about all the humans who were leaving on the boat? Can they survive an ice age? Is it a full “400 really boring years” like in Finn’s wish world? Longer? Shorter? This side material raises at least as many questions as it answers.

So Simon found the Enchiridion and took notes on it for a while before finally sending it to a museum in Scandinavia just was the international crisis that would become known as the Great Mushroom War was ramping up. Then some wizards found it. Then Marcy found the wizards and took it from them. Now the Enchiridion is with Marcy in hibernation. Then somehow it ends up with a minotaur later and Bubblegum is the one who tells Finn where to get it. There’s another chapter in between there and I feel like it involves both Marceline and Bubblegum. Marcy’s life after the ice age could probably fill another book or two.

Precious angel child.

Oh snap, it’s actually written by the people who play Marceline and Hunson.

That was a trip and a half to read. I love the backstory and world building so much. Even in the early episodes I suspected that there must be some kind of substance to this universe for the show to go on for as long as it did. Based on the early stuff though I had lowered my expectations and never imagined that this universe would gain so much depth, complexity, and (above all else) tragedy.

Marceline seems so carefree, but she’s been through SO. MUCH. Most of it while she was still a small child. The people of Ooo are absolutely blessed to have someone like Marceline in their world. And they’re also quite fortunate that her trauma didn’t push her to the full-on dark side. Even after a thousand years of so much confusion and loss, however chaotic she may get, she still has such a good heart.

And wow does reading this ever reinforce my desire for them to figure out a way to save Simon. “He didn’t deserve what happened to him” is so right. Although if it hadn’t happened to him, he never would’ve been able to protect Marcy. He probably would’ve died in the Great Mushroom War like almost everyone else, and Betty would’ve died too. Maybe you could chalk it up to Marcy’s mother’s last prayer being answered or the universe working in mysterious ways or possibly even retrocausality that Simon was able to survive and care for Marcy. Even so, I’m about four seasons beyond ready for the heroes and protagonists to help this poor old man get back the sanity that was stolen from him.

I feel like Finn’s the key somehow. The Crown seems to be possessed by a ghost or spirit. Gunther’s unfinished ghostly business was Evergreen and Evergreen’s unfinished ghostly business was the Catalyst Comet and Finn’s the reincarnation of the Catalyst Comet and all of that’s tied up with the Ice Crown. It seems like there’s some kind of puzzle taking shape there. Betty’s studying psychometric energy, magic, and Glob’s freaking helmet...Glob who was last seen facing off against, once again, the Catalyst Comet.

And just from the Doylist perspective, the writers have been spinning out this tragic tale of Simon Petrikov for a long time and it would be emotionally unsatisfying if they never save this poor man’s mind. I’m worried they might make me wait until the end of the show to fully resolve it though. I was worried for a while that getting his mind back would kill him, but after the events of the episode “Betty” I don’t expect them to take that route.

Simon and Marcy are such tragic characters and I feel for them both. I love learning more about them, even when most of what I learn breaks my heart. The two of them embody so much of what gives this universe its heart and brings it to life.

#Adventure Time #my first thoughts on this

[aclockworkfilmsnob]

Thoughts on Suspira (1977)

I know I said I wouldn't review any more horror movies I watched unless I got a request to do so after I post my IMDb ratings but… I'm sorry, I just have to talk about this. I… did not like this movie. I thought it kind of sucked. And I am very disappointed to say that given all the amazing reviews. I must be missing something here. This movie is praised as a masterpiece. Did I… watch the wrong cut? Did I not go in with the right mindset? I went in with no real mindset or expectations, in fact my decision to watch this one was rather impulsive, I was just not impressed by what I saw. Now I do want to clarify that this is NOT a film with no redeeming qualities, far from it. I've found that the most praise this movie gets is for its use of color, and for good reason, this is (for the most part) a gorgeous movie. The use of lighting is truly breathtaking, I mean this is the very definition of eye candy. Accompanied by this, there are a lot of incredibly interesting shots, expertly composed and fascinatingly creepy that just a mere glance at a handful of these will make plenty of people feel compelled to see this for themselves. But that's where one (of many) issues comes in. The visual spectacle only becomes notably prominent in the second half. It's not absent from the first half, but it's not there as much as you'd like it to be. In regards to the first half of this movie, for every one shot that's visually cool to look at, there's one that's also flat and boring. Like, it goes from amazing to "ehhh we don't really care" very quickly. That's just one of many annoying inconsistencies in this thing. I don't think I need to say it, you all knew it was coming. This movie is style over substance (when the style is even present, of course). The film opens with a pretty decent scene, creating a lot of intrigue with a kind of cool soundtrack, though it does get a little repetitive. Later in the movie… it gets VERY FUCKING REPETITIVE. I swear there are like three main tracks in this entire score, and they loop them over and over and over again, it feels like royalty free music that first year film students use because they're too lazy to get creative with their soundtracks. I toyed with the idea that maybe this was done to reflect some sort of descent into madness our main character was going through, but she wasn't really enduring that at all. She was just kind of, in danger constantly. The threat wasn't repetitive or redundant really, just the soundtrack. It got on my nerves very quickly, and looking back at it I can think of no good reason it's done the way it is. Anyways, back to the opening scene (forgive this abysmally structured review, but maybe you're getting an idea of how awfully put together this movie is). Like I said before, the opening is kind of cool, it's a good hook but you're left wondering if the film will deliver more than it's presented you. Well it goes from cool and mysterious to HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? In the blink of an eye the movie becomes so violent and bloody and totally not what you were expecting from the previous build up. Two characters we just met are murdered before our eyes, in an incredibly gruesome and over the top way. I swear to you, with this abrupt shift I was convinced that I was watching an experimental film, and I actually got kind of excited because now the movie got me hyped for some serious David Lynch type shit. Unfortunately, immediately after this, the narrative becomes conventional again. I didn't realize it yet, but that previous murder scene eliminates the mystery element this movie attempts to have almost entirely. So basically the movie takes place at this German dance academy where this new American student (our main character) starts to notice strange shit happening around the school. First some of the students act strangely around her, ranging from strangely nice to strangely snarky, but overall just strange. By the second half of the movie, it's completely irrelevant, those characters don't matter anymore. Only the teachers and other faculty members in their strange nature have any sort of significant impact on the plot. And there's no real suspense here, you KNOW they're not on the level. The first murder in the film was of a former student. And it was rather supernatural, almost anybody watching this knows that there has to be a connection between the two. Our main character did not witness this event transpire, she only saw the girl running away saying some cryptic shit. So, we know for a fact that this school is bad business, but our protagonist doesn't. Automatically she cannot be used as a catalyst for the audience to slowly but surely uncover new hints and clues that may explain the dark unrests of terrible things happening at the school. But she's at least interesting, right? We at least like her enough for us to want to see her get out of the film okay, right? Um… not really, no. Now she's not the most one dimensional character in existence or anything, but the amount of depth she has is lacking for this kind of film to work. Every now and again you kind of get what she's about, but not enough to feel as though you know her. She's like an acquaintance you when to high school with, like yeah you guys talked every now and again, and you kind of picked up on some of her quirks and interests, but you guys were definitely not close. That's who this girl is. You don't want to see bad things happen to her, but you won't be heartbroken if you do. She also has a friend who adds nothing but exposition to the movie. These two don't even build a friendship really, generic friend character just kind of whispers some things to the protagonist about how the teachers have always been creepy and mysterious, and suddenly they decide to stick together so they can survive, I guess. No real chemistry between the two, so these scenes aren't very interesting to watch, they're just kind of… necessary? By the way, that whispering scene I mentioned before has awful sound mixing. I could barely hear a word they were saying behind the creepy background noise, which is especially questionable when half of this film is ADR'd. At first I was willing to forgive the lackluster dubbing with the excuse of "oh maybe it's purposefully off putting, perhaps it will add to the tone of the film." Spoiler alert, it does not, it's just distracting. Suspira has a really awful balancing of tones. Sometimes it's incredibly over the top and bloody. Other times it's slow and atmospheric, trying to build suspense. Hell, sometimes it's just people talking with flat and uninspired dialogue. Absolutely none of it meshes, there's no glue holding any of this together, the filmmakers just pick and choose what kind of movie this is going to be at random spots, and they just can't make up their mind. I'm all for mixing genres and tones, but it should be handled like a chef carefully crafting a myriad of different foods into a gourmet dish, not some lazy slob putting his favorite meals in a blender and expecting it to be 5 star cuisine. 3/4ths of the way into this movie, there's a 10 minute long exposition scene that doesn't even attempt to be interesting or act as if it fits into the plot for a second. It's just one giant moment of "Here's what you need to know." I feel like this scene was filmed later in production, when the editor realized "oh shit, we didn't make enough sense out of what happens at the end." Speaking of the end, it doesn't really feel earned. The protagonist hasn't grown or overcome any obstacles, even though they sort of kind of I think try to imply she has. It's just her using a collection of information previously given to fight the odds at the end, kind of. Every now and again there's a problem she doesn't quite know how to face, but the solution ends up being so easy and takes her no time at all to solve that you're just let wondering "what was the point?" Now don't get me wrong, there were a few really good scenes. Scenes that, on their own, had me kind of invested, interested in what was going on and actually worked in being creepy/suspenseful. But they would have been better off in a better movie. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who will tell me that this movie isn't about the characters or the plot, it's about the style and the experience. That would be totally fine, if it stayed consistent with being a colorful over the top joyride of unpredictability. But it's not that, there are too many moments spent with our main character slowly wondering to herself "what is up with this place?" Well, we know what's up with this place, and we don't care enough about you to have any sort of investment in you finding out. The over the top moments don't work when you were trying to get into the suspense, and vice versa. Moments that are solely dialogue and exposition… simply don't work in any sense. A lot of shots are impressive and the lighting is gorgeous, but more times than not it's making up for it's lack of substance instead of harmonizing with it. I hardly felt any real emotion throughout most of Suspira. Was it supposed to be scary? Because I was hardly scared. Was it supposed to be suspenseful? Because it was almost never biting. Was it supposed to be funny? Because I never laughed un-ironically. Is it possible that this movie was supposed to be disjointed? Maybe it's some sort of parody of horror? Honestly, yeah that is possible, but even at that it doesn't work. I know this movie has a lot of fans and I'm glad people enjoy it. I envy that, I really do. I wanted to love this movie but I just didn't. I understand why people love it and I hope that one day I can change my mind on it and enjoy it too. Maybe there's something I'm just not getting, I don't know, but I got to go with my gut on this one. I just didn't like it, it was very disappointing. 4.5/10

[real-life-pine-tree]

Leo Will Never Know: Getting Stronger (4/?)

In an alternate timeline, Yugi indirectly prevented the events of Arc-V from ever happening. But how could this small change have an impact on a few selected people? A spin-off of the Arc-V Aftermath series. Based on the hilarious comic by @justanotherotakuandartist​. Co-written with @violetganache42​.

Within a few days, Ray had regained enough strength to go on the Domino City field trip. She has been looking forward to it before falling victim to the Society of Light because she gets an opportunity to visit her father and see how he's been doing the past few years. Michael admitted that it felt weird to be heading back to their hometown for a visit, but it was also remarkable to walk in the streets of a city where some important historical dueling events took place involving his idol Yugi Muto. He never forgot those words of advice to stay true to himself and he still cherished that memory to this day.

Ray noticed Michael's happy expression. "What got you smiling?" she asked.

"Before we met, I got to talk to Yugi Muto himself," Michael said. "He encouraged me to follow my heart and stick to my beliefs. He's the reason why I'm sticking to my Dueltainment dreams."

Ray remembered him telling her his dream to be a Dueltainer and was honestly impressed to learn how much he idolizes Yugi and was the reason for his future. She then began to ponder about her own future…again. While recovering in the nurse's office, she kept thinking about her possible dream to be a fashion designer. Her simple modifications to the female jackets led her to becoming an idol around campus and open up her own uniform repair business. Earlier that same week, the non-converted students were devastated to learn about her being manipulated into joining the Society of Light and the aftermath that followed, which explained the service's sudden hiatus, but they were all relieved that she's alright and that she'll be heading back to fixing up clothes in a little while. She didn't mind her abrupt popularity, but she has come to understand their undying respect, loyalty, and admiration for her, regardless of her being fooled into "embracing the light". Her talent for sewing and modifying clothes contributed into the life she was now living and left a positive impact on the dress code, and quite frankly, she was highly content with that. She hoped that her dream will leave an influence in the fashion world when she gets older.

"Michael, if you manage to become a Dueltainer, can I design your costumes?" Ray asked.

"Really?" Michael asked in response.

Ray smiled and nodded. "During my time in Duel Academy, I have become well-known for being a fashion designer. What if that's my true future?"

Michael definitely knew how much Ray was admired for her fashion skills. It would be awesome if she does utilize them to pursue her dream to design and fix clothes. He even imagined what costumes she would make for him to wear for his Dueltaining career.

"Sure," Michael said. "Can't wait to see what costumes you have in mind for my performances."

Ray's face became happy upon hearing those words of support. It was obvious that everyone adored the clothes she made and repaired, so being a fashion designer was officially going to be her future.

Not long after the two's discussion, the Duel Academy students arrived at Domino City. Everyone scattered all over the city; most of them gave themselves tours as they went to locations where important events occurred from Battle City while Sartorius headed towards KaibaCorp to talk to Kaiba about something. As for Michael and Ray, they walked down the streets together, talking about how it felt nice to be back in their hometown. She mentioned how she knows what her dad's hours are, so she'll visit him after he's done working. As usual, knowing the couple, they always unintentionally come across Jaden with his friends; this time, they saw him at the pier with Syrus and Hassleberry, who were both arguing about Yugi's duel against a mind-controlled Joey and—not surprisingly—who is worthy of being Jaden's best friend.

"Have you noticed something is a bit off with that Hassleberry guy?" Michael asked.

"Aside from having dinosaur DNA?" Ray asked.

"Not just that," Michael clarified. "It's how he treats Jaden."

"What about it?" Ray asked.

"He seems a little more chummy towards him," Michael said. "He even calls him 'sarge'."

Ray immediately knew what Michael was talking about. "You don't think...?"

"Probably," Michael guessed. "I never saw him express an interest in girls."

Even if Hassleberry doesn't have a preference for females, Michael and Ray both agreed that he wouldn't be the right fit for Jaden. Maybe it was for the best for him to be just his friend.

Later on, as Jaden, Syrus, and Hassleberry went to Kame Game Shop, Michael walked by KaibaCorp. As he looked at the building's structure, he reflected on how this gaming company was run by someone who ruined his girlfriend's old life. He was glad that she's moving on from it and looking towards the future. Just then, he heard a growl from Odd-Eyes Dragon, almost like he was eager about something.

Michael took out the card. "What's that, Odd-Eyes?" he asked. "You're sensing someone in there?"

Odd-Eyes growled out "Yes", leading to his owner to head to the window where he was sensing not someone, but rather something. It was a Duel Monsters card, leading to Michael to read its statistics. His name was Starving Venom Fusion Dragon and he was a Level 8 DARK Dragon Monster with 2800 ATK and 2000 DEF, requiring 2 DARK monsters—except Tokens—as Fusion Materials. On the turn he was Fusion Summoned, he can gain ATK equal to a special summoned monster the opponent controls until the End Phase. He can also target a Level 5 or higher opposing monster and obtain its name and effects, but it can only be done once per turn. If he was destroyed and sent to the Graveyard, his owner can destroy all special summoned monsters the opponent controls.

"Wow!" Michael exclaimed, impressed. "I never saw a card like that before!"

He heard Odd-Eyes enthusiastically roar, as if he may have found a new dragon to include in his owner's deck. Michael wasn't sure if it was for sale or available in stores, but he did hear him call out to him.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Michael turned his head to see where the voice came from and it was none other than Seto Kaiba himself, the same person who was not only Yugi's self-proclaimed rival, but also ruined Leo and Ray's lives. The Obelisk Blue student couldn't believe he was actually meeting him…at first.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Kaiba, sir!" Michael exclaimed. "But it felt like that card was calling out to me and-"

"Say no more," Kaiba interrupted. "I want you to come with me."

Come with him? Was there something important going on? Does it involve the Society of Light? Regardless, Michael listened to what Kaiba instructed and followed him.

"A few years ago, I never believed in fate," Kaiba said. "But then certain events occurred that made me realize things happen for a reason and it's not random."

"What are you saying?" Michael asked.

"I'm saying that if you really think that card called out to you, you can have it," Kaiba answered.

Michael was left stupefied but excited at the same time and thanked Kaiba for the offer. He was finally going to get a second dragon in his deck and Odd-Eyes his first dragon friend. "Wow, thanks!" he happily said. "I was actually trying to find another dragon!"

"Don't get too excited," Kaiba informed. "I'm only doing this because Sartorius told me about what happened to your girlfriend. I'm aware that it's my fault she ended up siding with him, but I had to make sure Solid Vision wouldn't cause the holograms to become self-aware. Leo Corporation going bankrupt wasn't my fault. People just happened to become fast fans of Duel Disks."

It was starting to become clear for Michael about why Leo and Ray ended up going broke. It was partially Kaiba's fault, but the general public was to blame for it. The CEO explained that he had to tell him because he feared she wouldn't believe him.

"You do have a good point," Michael said. "Ray has a tendency to be stubborn."

"So think of this card as my way of apologizing to the Akabas," Kaiba said. "After all, if you two are thinking about freeing the other students from the Society of Light, you're going to need a lot more powerful cards."

Michael immediately knew that Kaiba sensed something fishy was going on with Sartorius and the Society of Light after he spoke to the Arcana Force user. He was then informed about how security was keeping an eye on things at Kaiba Land after the CEO gave Sartorius permission to use the theme park.

"By the way, he also mentioned something about missing a card," Kaiba added. "He didn't seem to mind, but do you know anything about that?"

Michael remembered seeing the card a few days earlier when he was looking for Ray. He still had it with him and took it out from his deck. He explained that Arcana Force VI - The Lovers was originally supposed to be used to describe the couple's future together. It was unknowingly dropped and Sartorius used a different card to lure her into the Society of Light and mentally abuse her into becoming "the perfect Duelist".

"Then perhaps you can give that card to her," Kaiba suggested. "Ray might put it to good use."

"You think so?" Michael asked.

"Seems fitting since you're getting a new card," Kaiba explained. "Just don't waste this new power."

After staring at the Arcana card, Michael thanked Kaiba for the assistance. The two walked over to the display case and the latter unlocked it before handing Starving Venom over to the former and reminding him to take care of it. He said that he will and then exited the glass doors, leaving KaibaCorp.

The onion-haired teen ran through the streets to find his girlfriend and saw her near the city center. He then told her what Kaiba said about how the public's vast support of the Duel Disks was what caused Leo Corporation's downfall; she then face-palmed out of realization because she was so stupid to blame someone for her and Leo's poverty. She was reassured of how she had every right to be upset and was reminded on how Action Duels were rejected because Solid Vision with mass could make the monsters sentient and lead to global doomsday, making it Kaiba's fault for his decision, not the bankruptcy. She softly smiled after hearing this, making it a sign that her grudge against the CEO has lightened or maybe even faded away.

Michael then gave Ray a monster card. She asked what it was and he explained that they were given these two powerful cards to help them in their fight against the Society of Light.

"Wait a minute..." Ray said. "This is Sartorius' card!"

"Not anymore," Michael explained. "This was what he initially drew when he apparently read your fortune, but he must have lied in order to get you to join him."

Ray read the given information of Arcana Force VI - The Lovers. It was a Level 4 LIGHT Fairy-Type monster with 1600 ATK and DEF. When it is summoned, she must toss a coin to activate one of its two effects; if it lands on heads, she can treat it as 2 tributes for tribute summoning an Arcana Force monster, but if it's tails, then she can't tribute summon Arcana Force monsters. The effects seemed meaningless to her because she doesn't have that archetype, but Michael interpreted this card as a symbol for what her future was supposed to be: a bright and happy marriage with him.

"You really think so?" Ray asked.

"Of course," Michael answered. "You might have had a rough past, but it looks like fate wants us to be together."

Ray looked at the card again. "This could actually work," she realized. "Hope Dragon Flower's secondary ability allows me to special summon a LIGHT Fairy-Type monster from my deck or hand."

She may have found a new strategy she can use with the dropped card. She also pointed out on the card Michael was holding in his hand and he said Kaiba let him have Starving Venom Fusion Dragon because he felt a connection between them. As a bonus, this also made him Odd-Eyes' first dragon friend.

"Are you sure?" Ray asked.

"Of course," Michael answered. "I can hear him as well. He really likes being in my deck."

If that was the case, then Ray was proud of Michael gaining a new dragon partner. Now their next task was to find useful and powerful cards to battle against the Society of Light, so their best bet was to check out the card and game shops around town. Although they weren't able to assist Jaden and Aster due to their card search, it still didn't change the fact their mission to defeat Sartorius and free the students from his influence was necessary.

Not long after the Domino City field trip, the Genex Tournament was beginning shortly because Chancellor Sheppard was returning to announce it. During his absence, he has been giving various and professional Duelists one Genex Medallion to participate. Shortly after the tournament began, Dr. Crowler had called Michael and Ray into his office to speak with them about something important.

"Thank you for coming," Dr. Crowler said. "I wish for you to handle the professional Duelists who are participating in this tournament."

The two Obelisk Blue students were surprised by this request. "How come?" Michael asked.

"Because they are giving the more inexperienced students a hard time," Dr. Crowler explained. "I feel that it is an unfair disadvantage. I have already asked Damon and Belowski for their help and, as the two best Obelisk Blue students in your class, I wish for you to do the same."

"Thank you, Dr. Crowler," Ray said. "We won't let you down."

The best part is they can try out their new strategies now that they got Starving Venom, The Lovers, and some new cards they bought back at Domino. They were both given the last two Genex Medallions to let people know they're participating: one for Michael and one for Ray. They left the office and went outside to the island to start dueling the professionals. Some of them like Mathmatica and Maitre'D make the students afraid because they wish not to duel them due to how strong they are with their skills, but the couple won't back down from a challenge, even if they are from pro Duelists.

"Well if it isn't the rumored Obelisk students of Duel Academy."

The two students turned around to see a figure standing behind them. They recognized the red suit and the light blue and black striped mask anywhere. It was the legendary and infamous Arkana, who was one of Marik's Rare Hunters hired to defeat Yugi during Battle City and tricked into reuniting with his beloved Catherine. Since that day many years ago, he never forgave his former master for deceiving him like that, but he still has his Dark Magician and is no longer a cheater.

Michael stepped forward. "You're the illusionist Arkana," he said.

"Correct," Arkana said. "The one true Dark Magician user."

Michael smirked at that. "As if," he said. "That title goes to Yugi Muto."

"How would you know?" Arkana asked.

"Do you really think you're the only one who likes magicians?" Michael asked, revealing the magician cards in his deck. "I bet my lovely magicians can beat yours."

"You dare challenge me?" Arkana asked.

"Sure, I could kill some time," Michael answered.

The two activated their Duel Disks to initiate the duel and to see if Arkana's Dark Magician can handle Michael's Magicians and Sorcerers, especially the surprise he has in store for his opponent. While that is going on, Ray wished her boyfriend good luck before heading off to find another pro Duelist to duel against.

"Well what do we have here?"

Ray stopped waking to see the person standing in front of her. It was Rex Raptor and his brown hair with purple-dyed strands on his forehead were a clear giveaway. Ray has heard a lot about him since she was a kid and she knows that he has high dueling morals and plays fair despite his arrogant and tyrannical personality.

"So you're the one with the Hope Dragons," Rex commented.

"Indeed," Ray happily replied. "You want to see them in action?"

"Whaddya think?" Rex asked as he readied his Duel Disk. "I love a good challenge, but don't get too cocky. My dinos have gotten stronger over the past few years."

Naturally, he was one to talk because he was cocky. Ray also prepared her Duel Disk as well as she was about to start Crowler's assignment of dueling the professionals along with Michael. If she was going to be honest, she didn't expect legendary Duelists like Rex and Arkana to show up on the island, but it makes the tournament more fun to take part in.

So far, the couple have been fairing really well as they gained more Genex Medallions by defeating many pro Duelists. They spotted Damon and Belowski, who were both exhausted after dueling for a while, so they picked up the pace and dueled more professionals, including those that were defeated by their classmates and Alexis (since she still showed respect and pride for her Obelisk Blue companions). While they continued to search for any more pro Duelists on the island, they spotted a duel was going on and ran to where Jaden, Aster, and Hassleberry were standing. From what they saw, it was a battle between brothers with Syrus going against Zane, who looked and acted much differently than he normally did.

"Weird..." Michael said. "Was Zane always that cold?"

"Probably," Ray answered. "But Syrus seems...off."

Well, they weren't exactly off. Jaden and Aster overheard their curiosity and filled them in on what was happening. After his defeat at the Pro League, Zane soon became sadistic and disrespectful towards his opponents after his duel with Mad Dog. Syrus doesn't like his brother's new personality, so he decided to duel him to try and reclaim the latter's old persona. He was also "off" because of the shock-amplifying devices they were wearing, which electrocutes the Duelist whenever they lose Life Points; Zane was used to the shocks, but Syrus wasn't. He was using a continuous Trap called Life Force where he can reduce the Battle Damage to 0 at the cost of 400 LP.

Ray was absolutely horrified, her hand immediately reaching up to her neck. Despite her recovery, she could still feel the shocks she received during her time in the Society of Light. Why would Zane do such a thing?

Michael instinctively place his hands on Ray's shoulders to calm her down while reassuring her that it was going to be okay. Jaden and Hassleberry recalled hearing the story of the mental abuse Sartorius gave her while she was regaining her strength.

"Sarge and I heard about what happened," Hassleberry said. "Didn't even known that was goin’ on."

"None of us knew," Michael pointed out. "Sartorius imprisoned her in a room and prevented her from escaping."

"You feelin' alright, Ray?" Jaden asked.

"It still scares me from time to time," Ray answered. "But I think I managed to make a full recovery."

"That's the spirit!" Jaden encouraged, doing his signature pose to get Ray to smile.

Ray always saw Jaden's pose whenever he won a duel against someone up to where she can instantly spot it, even at a far distance. It undoubtedly helped her relax and crack a smile on her face. "Thanks Jaden," she said, knowing how he could still remain so calm and happy during dramatic moments.

The Slifer Red student pointed out that he'll do anything for a friend, a fellow classmate, or a student regardless of rankings. The five Duelists watched from the sidelines as the Truesdales' duel progressed. At one point, Syrus fell onto his knees after getting shocked and draining his LP down to 1600 due to Life Force, with his glasses falling off as well. It was nearly impossible for him to respect his older brother when he's like this, but Zane harshly claimed that there's only enough room for respecting victory, even if it means disrespecting his opponents. Hearing this cruel irony shocked Michael, Ray, Aster, and Hassleberry, but not Jaden.

"Syrus, no!" Jaden exclaimed. "It's not true! Don't listen to him! He's wrong, fight it! And don't forget: Zane isn't himself! You need to remind him about respect! Respect for his cards, respect for his opponent, and respect for himself!"

Syrus stood up and put his glasses back on face before drawing a card, which was revealed to be Power Bond. He wasn't expecting to find it in his deck and looked at Jaden until he realized that his friend went to his dorm room to look for it and shuffled it with the rest of his cards. Michael had to muffle a laugh when that was revealed.

Ray asked what was so funny until she spotted Power Bond and Syrus' comprehended expression. She could've sworn he was afraid of using that card yet the look on Jaden's face said that now was a good time to use it and to help remind Zane about respect.

As Cycroid and the Equip Spell Training Wheels returned to the field, the Vehicroid user used Power Bond to Fusion Summon Pair Cycroid with its ATK doubled to 3200, but was decreased down to 2700 by activating its effect to remove 500 ATK in order to declare a direct attack. Zane activates Power Wall and sent 27 cards to the Graveyard to nullify the attack, resulting in his younger brother to play a face-down. Power Bond's final effect would cause Syrus to take damage equal to Pair Cycroid's original 1600 ATK, but thanks to his face-down Mirror Guard, that damage is redirected to Zane, who activated Fusion Guard to cancel the effect by sending one Fusion monster to the Graveyard.

Once the Cyberdark user drew a card to start his turn, he used Warp Bean to reduce Cyberdarks Horn and Keel from 2800 to 800 ATK by sending Infernal and Exploder Dragons to the Graveyard and removed 200 more ATK on both monsters to attack his opponent directly. Life Force was activated twice, bringing Syrus' LP down to 800, and he used it a third time after Cyberdark Edge attacked directly through halving the Battle Damage, lowering it down to 400. Zane activated his face-down Rebirth Judgement to declare all monsters in both Graveyards as Dragon Type; he then used Instant Fusion to Fusion Summon Cyberdark Dragon by using Horn, Edge, and Keel as Fusion Materials. By using Cyber End Dragon's first effect to equip itself onto the special summoned monster, the ATK ricocheted from 1000 to 5000, and because there were 38 cards in his Graveyard, Cyberdark Dragon's third effect gives it an ATK for every discarded card x 100, making its total ATK 8800.

Zane targeted Pair Cycroid, but Syrus played Emergency Provisions to give himself an extra 1000 LP by discarding Mirror Guard and activated Life Force again to reduce the damage to 0 by costing 400 LP, bringing it down to 1000. He thought he won because that meant there were no cards left for his older brother to draw, but in an unexpected twist, De-Fusion was used and Cyberdarks Horn, Edge, and Keel were on the fields with 800 ATK each. They all dealt a direct attack to deal 2400 damage to him, causing the devices to electrocute him once more as his LP dropped down to 0 and he collapsed onto the ground as a result. Aster was left speechless at the duel's outcome while Michael and Ray were terrified; Hassleberry shouted out to Zane as he walked away while Jaden ran towards Syrus to see if he was okay, only to see his friend pass out. It was clear he needed to be taken to Nurse Fontaine's office right now.

"I don't know what's worse," Michael said as Ray was panicking due to the duel still reminding her of Sartorius' abuse. "The Society of Light or a deranged version of Zane."

Already knowing Ray was in a state of panic, Michael hugged her as much as she could to help regain her senses. Just witnessing the duel led her to become so terrified that she stated she might not be feeling well. This was a sign of her suffering from PTSD, and the shock-amplifying devices sending electricity to the Duelists were the triggers.

Michael started stroking his girlfriend's hair. "I see you hiding all alone," he started singing. "Crying oh so softly. Eyes looking down, feeling low." He started speaking normally. "Come on, RayRay. You love this song."

The song he was singing was the song "99%" by BOWL. He wanted to sing this to remind that despite the struggles she's been suffering, there will always be someone to help her through life's hardships.

"Rethinking all those memories," Michael continued singing, now having to separate from the hug to try to get her to dance with him. "Sadness comes across you and casts a frown. But things are more than they seem."

A small smile started to appear on Ray's face. "When darkness turns to daybreak," Michael sang. "Go out and seek for your sake. The people of this world may share with you your pain. But when a wall surrounds them, discourages and drowns them, they get up. So why don't you do the same?" As he sang that last part, the onion-haired teen booped his girlfriend's nose.

There was no point in resisting as Ray gave in and started dancing to the song. Michael may be dorky sometimes, but she was glad that he was her dork and she didn't want anything about that to change.

Ultimately Michael stopped singing and the two embraced in a sweet hug. "Thanks, you big dork," Ray said.

"Don't mention it, sweet princess," Michael replied.

For the rest of the school year, they continued participating in the Genex Tournament. They eventually lost all their Genex Medallions to non-Society students, but that moment meant they were now officially ready to take on the Society of Light. They joined Chazz—who wanted to make amends for his actions during his time at said organization—and a group of Obelisk Blue students as they freed most of them from the Society's grip while the dark-haired teen now possessed their Medallions. Ray felt this was an interesting way to take out her grudge against Sartorius, who was now under complete control by the Light of Destruction and dueling Jaden with the fate of the world at stake.

Just as Chazz was getting ready to declare himself the winner of the tournament, a disguised Blair Flannigan showed up who wanted to win this tournament and get into Slifer Red. Even though she soon lost and her opponent was officially the Genex Tournament Champion, she was still able to be accepted into Duel Academy as a Slifer Red student. It was also good timing too because Jaden defeated the Light of Destruction, freeing Sartorius from its control and disbanding the Society of Light for good.

#Arc V Aftermath #yugioh arc v #Zarc (arc v) #Ray Akaba #GenesisShipping #ZarcRay #Leo Will Never Know

[talvin-muircastle]

Gender Identity and Me

A lot of things have happened during Pride Month.  Father’s Day and events surrounding my father and a conversation I had with one of my young friends on here all kinda came together in my head.    I didn’t make an outline before writing this, and I probably should have: I ramble a bit.  Apologies in advance.

First: I identify as Male.  He/Him.  And Straight.  That’s me.  But that “Male” thing: what does it mean?  I identify as Male, but I don’t know if that really means the same thing to me as, say, to my Dad.  Or, indeed, to a lot of other people out there.

I am an American.  A White American Male is supposed to like sports.  He’s supposed to be the breadwinner.  He’s supposed to be the strong one in the family.  He is expected to know how to use tools and fix things. The WAM is expected to be the Alpha of his family.  In his youth, he is expected to “sow his wild oats”, and then later when he gets married, he’s supposed to make Horrible Dad Jokes for his kids.  

OK, I’ll admit that on that last one I really do run true to form.  Not gonna contest it.  Proud of it, in fact.  Aside from that, I seem to be failing at everything.

[Edit: this got long, so I am going to be nice and insert a cut right here:]

Sports?  I wound up working as first an Equipment Manager and then as an apprentice Athletic Trainer (the apprenticeship program has since gone away, now you need a degree in it) through high school and then college.  I don’t regret those years, as I learned a lot, but I always felt like an outsider.  I eventually left.

I was so much more worried about making sure everyone was ok then I was about winning games.   On paper, that’s what a Trainer is supposed to want.  The culture does not reward that mindset, let me tell you.  

I have worked at a few hundred football, baseball, and basketball games, among others.  I have never managed to sit through a session of just watching one. I don’t care who wins the Super Bowl.  As a sports-loving American Man, I am a failure.  

I have been the breadwinner.  Right now I am the homemaker.  My wife is the one with the career goals: I work for money because I need to pay the bills, but when that’s not an issue, I prefer to work on things that matter to me, whether it is working with teens in crisis or finding ways to boost my daughter’s LARP group or supporting a local charity in some way.  And, of course, raising our daughter.  That’s first and foremost for me, always.

I am not the “strong one” in our family.  I am one member of a strong family.  When I am hurting, my wife and daughter care for me.  When I was freaking out because my wife was unconscious on the kitchen floor due to an unexpected prescription drug sensitivity, my daughter (only five years old! at the time) went to the door and calmly waited for the paramedics.  From the front of the house I heard, “Um...hi!  Did somebody here call for an ambulance?”  “Yes, my mother is in the kitchen, Daddy is with her. I’ll show you.”  When my wife comes home from a bad day at work, I’ve got supper ready for her and a hug and kiss to tell her I love her.  I am strong, but I am not “the strong one”.  We are strong for each other.  

Tools?  Um, that skipped over my generation entirely, and all the tool-savvy rests with my about-to-be-13-year old daughter.  I am barely trusted with a screwdriver.  I am never to be trusted with blackboard paint again.  If it needs fixing, I ask her or I call a pro.  Dad-as-tool-user?  I don’t even get an Honorable Mention.  They’d rather not mention me at all. 

I complain about my Dad a lot lately, and lately he has given me a lot of reasons to complain.  I can’t say he didn’t try, though.  When I was a teenager, he sat me down and said, “What women want, son, is security. Men are expected to be adventurous, but women want security in a relationship.”  I sat there thinking, “But that’s what I want!  Is that...wrong?”   I did not have a girlfriend in high school, though I had a few friends who were girls.  College was similar.  My father finally broke down and told me that he thought I was gay!  When I finally got married, Dad went all out on the wedding, as far as I would let him.  It was like he was relieved.  It validated him, somehow.   

I was not gay.  I was waiting for, hoping for, someone with whom I could build a life.  When I give my heart, I give it fully or not at all.  The idea of a “fling” is something I can’t grasp on an emotional level.  I have a soulmate, how could I settle for something lesser?  This is not the ideal of a Man in my culture.  We’re supposed to want it wherever and whenever we can get it.   Meanwhile we have been in our first marriage longer than anyone in either family.  Logic can take a hike, I guess.  

I have always been the Caregiver.  I have been called “Mom”, both lovingly and disparagingly, many times over the years.   That right there is telling: call him “Mom”, because he isn’t fitting the mold of “Dad”.   Ironically, I have had it casually tossed in my face as an insult by a staunch Feminist.  (When it comes to Feminists and Feminism, I tend to paraphrase Gandhi on Christians:  “I like your Feminism.  I do not like your Feminists. Your Feminists are so unlike your Feminism.”  But I digress.)

It started when I was only 20 years old, a quarter-century ago:  I was “the only Adult I can talk to about this stuff”.  Hoo-boy.  I got the suicidal ones, the ones cutting themselves, the ones in the closet, the ones in abusive situations, the ones being targeted by predators.  Go tell Talvin, he’ll listen to you, he’ll believe you.  Also the ones that just didn’t fit in, the misfits, the rebels.  My “Tortured Young Geniuses”, I call them.   Somehow, they always turn out OK.    

Amidst the stress and the freakouts, there were (and are) some truly wonderful moments.  It felt right somehow. This is my calling.  That yearning I had felt as a teenager: I wanted to be a Father.  Not a father like I had been taught, but a father like I felt should be.  One of my young friends said to me twenty-some years ago, “I wish I could have had a Dad like you.”  I cried, and I feel no shame at doing so.   When my own daughter was born, I thought back to his words and said, “You already told me I can do this.  Now I am going to do it right.”  

I am a Dad.  Not “Mom”.   But my culture, my peers, tell me that I am being more Mom than Dad, and that this is somehow a shortcoming or a failing.  I am not out there being Successful.   A 14-year-old boy* who wanted to die has grown up with awards for his writing, a happy marriage, and a beautiful daughter, while my 13-year-old girl can run a small workshop better than some people studying Engineering at the local Ivy school, but if your stock options make you feel Successful, man, you do you.    If you are so damn Successful, why are you bothered by what I am doing?  

*Editing to clarify:  that’s the same one who said he wished he had a Dad like me.  He’s doing very well now.

So what does all this mean for my Gender Identity? Is Pride Month about me? From where I sit, that’s a bit of a reach.   From my father’s point of view, which is the point of view of a whole segment of American Masculinity, I come off as “maybe gay?!”  Perspective seems to be important, here.   I guess I will leave that judgment to my friends who identify as LGBTQ+:  am I a little bit Queer?  Is it that our cultural assumptions about “Male” are just a little too narrow, too stereotyped?  Both? Neither?  

I don’t know.

I do know that it is Pride Month.

I am Proud of Me.

And oh, my Tortured Young Geniuses, I am so Proud of You.