#Because Juno already almost died for him. Nureyev cant have Juno living for him

[ephemeralgalaxies]

Y'ALL. Re-listening to The Penumbra Podcast (s3 now lol bc yes I am specifically looking for Nureyev lore since s4/5 new info) and Man in Glass has me SOBBING IT WAS RIGHT THERE ALL ALONG.

s3ep2, Buddy telling Nureyev his "calling card"

Buddy: "An endoring moral core, coupled with a strong desire to excise that core completely...like having a heart embarrasses you. I brought you on this ship for that moral core. If I distrust you, darling, it is only because you have proven that you can do anything you set your mind to, and so I am certain that you are capable of excising those morals for good. You just haven't done it yet."

Then later, s3ep2 still, Nureyev is talking with Juno in his room and Nureyev narrates:

Nureyev: 'I feel the weight of potentiality sit heavy on my shoulders, I hear Buddy's words about the excision of my moral core and about my ability to do it. And I realize, for the first time, that there is a kind of helplessness in complete freedom[...]when trouble arises, I disappear. [...]but looking at this new man [Juno], there is nothing I want more than to stay.'

AND THEN AND THEN IN S5ep14 The Sixteen Tons,,, yeah I know this line by heart :')

Nureyev and Juno talking (arguing) after Juno takes him into the closet at the facility (near the beginning of the ep)

Nureyev: "I do not want to see you anymore, Juno."

Juno: "...What?!"

Nureyev: "You said that it would just take those words to excise you from my life entirely, didn't you? Well, I've said them..."

THE EXACT WORD CHOICE. THE WAY HE WANTED TO STAY ON THE SHIP AND JOIN THE AURINKO CRIME FAMILY FOR (money, but also) JUNO. BECAUSE JUNO IS HIS MORAL CORE, THEIR MORALS DO ALIGN. THAT'S WHY THEY WORK SO WELL. SO OFC HE HAS TO "EXCISE" JUNO TO CARRY ON WITH THIS.

Because the reality of it: keeping someone between life and death for YEARS, helping fund the Big Pharma that has vowed to safe Slip and yet also commits such horrific acts, but he has to do it or else he never gets to know Slip or have someone know him as he thinks they should bc surely he must not be worth all of this to Juno, the lady's just being stubborn again and inconsiderate, but deep down Nureyev KNOWS that's not it at all. He knows that Juno does know him and will continue to know more about him, and if he can do that and love Nureyev... well, that means Nureyev could have a future.

But Nureyev has been trying to stretch out the future for over 20 years. He's set his mind to it, and he can do anything he sets his mind to. Including destroying himself until there is nothing left to bother with a future anyway. Until there is nothing for Juno Steel to know and love and so he gets the punishment he believes so adamantly that he deserves long before Juno first left him in that hotel room.

If he is alone, then when trouble comes he can just disappear. If he is alone, there is no one to hurt when that bomb goes off.

#juno and nureyev being character foils will always destroy me #yes I know they have many similarities for character foil label but so do Aang and Zuko and look where we are #also the way Nureyev finally realized Juno HATED Zola in s3ep2 bc he is morally disgusted by her — as is Nureyev's words #IN THE SAME EPISODE that Buddy talks about knowing Juno is Nureyev's reason AND that he can excise those morals if needs be #It is that being what Nureyev admires most about Juno but also the reason he must push him away to continue down this path #Because Juno already almost died for him. Nureyev cant have Juno living for him #Train from Nowhere also makes me sob if u cant tell #the penumbra podcast #long post #ehe #tpp #tpp s1 #tpp s3 #tpp s5 #tpp s5 spoilers #tpp spoilers #just in case #jupeter #juno steel #peter nureyev #peter ransom #juno x peter #buddy aurinko #my beloved mother #the aurinko crime family