#Change of subject. Am I going to keep dropping the full backstory and plot in the tags? Yes. Yes I will. Sorry guys

[sineala]

Captain America: The Great Gold Steal

I wrote this up last week because I did not have access to my usual comics files but I figured I could review something that was just a book. So here is a review of the 1968 Captain America novel Captain America: The Great Gold Steal by Ted White, with an introduction by Stan Lee. I really liked it, actually! It was surprisingly good!

This novel features: Cover art of Captain America holding his shield in one hand and a very large gun in the other! A scene where the villains dramatically unmask Captain America and have absolutely no idea who he is! Captain America being extremely, extremely depressed about being in the future! Captain America dropping acid!

(I'm not kidding about the last part. In this novel there is a lot of LSD use. By Captain America. Talk about something the Comics Code wouldn't ever let you put in a comic book. Thank you, 1968.)

Faithful readers may remember that some time ago I posted reviews of Marvel prose novels from the 1970s. There was a line of prose novels featuring everyone's favorite Marvel superheroes, published by Pocket Books in the late 70s; I have reviews of the Iron Man, Captain America, and Avengers entries in the series; I liked the Iron Man one best, and I also have a Doctor Strange one I have not yet read. They're all short and action-packed paperback reads, of varying quality; the only one by anyone you might have heard of is the Avengers one, which was written by David Michelinie, who was actually writing the Avengers run at the time. That one was, um. An experience. 

(Yes, it's "prose novel" because otherwise the assumption is "graphic novel.")

Marvel still publishes prose novels now, of course, also of varying quality; some are new plots and some are straight-up novelizations of comics arcs, which I guess is useful if you want to, say, read Civil War and not look at pictures at the same time. I also have a bunch of those that I could probably review if anyone wants. But, anyway, I personally am particularly intrigued by the older Marvel prose novels, both because the stories are all original and not retellings, and also because I often prefer the characterization found in older comics. And the older prose novels of course use the then-current characterization. So reading a Marvel prose novel from 1979 is like getting to read a brand-new comic from 1979, and that's a whole lot of fun for a nerd like me. Also do you know what's not subject to the Comics Code? Prose novels. So things can happen in these that definitely could not happen in comics of the same era.

This brings me to my current prose novel, which is something else entirely. I mean, okay, not really, it's still a Marvel prose novel. But it's not part of the same line. It's actually a lot older.

Bantam Books actually published Marvel prose novels in the late 60s. Yep, a full decade earlier. They published exactly two, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that they were probably not bestsellers. The first one, which I do not own and now sort of want to track down, was an Avengers novel in 1967, The Avengers Battle the Earth-Wrecker. And then in 1968 they published the novel I am currently holding in my hands, Captain America: The Great Gold Steal by Ted White.

(I am still not sure why no one involved in titling this book thought of the word "theft.")

Judging by the back copy, it appears to be about Captain America foiling the villains' dastardly plan to steal gold from the Federal Reserve. Oh boy. Fun.

So this book is from 1968. The modern Marvel universe had kicked off just a few short years ago! Captain America was just getting his own solo book after the end of Tales of Suspense! And here's a novel about him, back when certain elements of his characterization were perhaps a little more flexible than they are today, by which I mean that the cover art -- which the internet informs me was painted by Mitchell Hooks -- is a striking full-body portrait of Captain America, head held high, shield in one hand... and a very large gun in the other. Hell, yeah. Not gonna see that in today's Cap comics, are you? It's amazing and I love it.

(Okay, you might see that in Ults. I'm pretty sure I have seen that in Ults, actually. But this is still cool.)

So the cover art is a definite plus, and apparently it's one of the few reasons anyone has ever heard of this novel. The other reason -- and the reason this is more expensive than the later novels, I assume -- is that Stan Lee's name is slapped on the cover, because he wrote an introduction. (I think I paid about $30 for this. The others were definitely under $20.)

All right. Here we go.

The first page is actually a brief summary of Steve's origin story, but not a version I was familiar with. Steve was born July 9, 1917 (yes, I was surprised too), was orphaned at a young age, and was a student at Columbia University (!) before Rebirth, which in this version is a gradual process that is also extremely body-horror. Steel tubing was inserted into the marrows of his bones. He was fed "high-protein compounds." Then they gave him a chemical that "gave him complete control over every nerve, muscle, and cell in his now-magnificent body." Sweet. Where can I get some of that?

The blurb also confirms his control over his own metabolism as well as his healing factor ("wounds would heal in half the normal time"), which is nice, because sometimes I wonder if canon even remembers the healing factor.

(I don't know why Marvel has this kink for filling people's bones with metal, though. It's not actually empty in there, guys! You need your bone marrow! How else do you want people to make new blood cells?)

The book is dedicated to "Jack Kirby and Stan Lee, without whom there would be no Captain America." Hey, Marvel, Joe Simon would like a word with you. I'm just saying.

The Stan Lee introduction is three paragraphs written in Stan Lee's, um, inimitable, distinctive and extremely florid narrative style -- if you've read any of his work, you know what I mean -- and making the point that Captain America is incredible and you will like him. If you are just discovering him for the first time, you will definitely like him. Okay. Thanks. I guess.

Oddly, the writing style here is substantially different than any of the other Marvel prose novels I've read; it doesn't immediately front-load you with exposition and a cast of colorful superheroes. It opens with a sort of James Bond spy-novel feel, running through a series of unnamed villains and bystanders, and a man who wants nothing more than to talk to Captain America but is killed before he can. Steve comes in halfway through the chapter, and he seems to be written for a reader who doesn't necessarily know who he is, and he isn't introduced as Captain America with his shield flying ahead of him to smite evildoers, or anything like that. He's just a tall, handsome blond guy who is reading a bunch of novels and is unsatisfied by all of them because all he can think of is the past. It's definitely an attitude I would expect from Steve in this era -- he is very much a Man Out Of Time here -- but it's also not how I expected the book to introduce him. You wouldn't even know he was Captain America by the end of the opening chapter, which then ends with a digression about the history of NYC subway tunnels. It's like it wants to appeal to someone who has watched a bunch of Man from UNCLE and just wants to read a cool thriller. Which is not at all what I was expecting.

By the beginning of the second chapter, of course, we discover that Steve is Captain America, as he changes into his uniform. The narration refers to him as Rogers when it's in his POV, if anyone is curious. He apparently keeps the cowl off in the mansion, because the cowl annoys him.

It was not so much that he needed to conceal his identity these days, because for all intents and purposes he had no other identity. Steve Rogers was officially dead, and had been for almost twenty years. Captain America *was* his identity. It was only when he donned the tight-fitting blue uniform with its shield chest-emblem, the red snug-fitting leather boots, and the heavy, yet pressure-sensitive red-leather gauntlets, that he began to feel real -- a complete human being.

Steve? Buddy, are you okay there? You're really not okay, are you, huh?

You see what I mean? They're really hitting the early-canon angst. Hard.

(Also it sounds like his uniform is a few sizes too small.)

We then get an expanded version of the backstory from the beginning excerpt. In this version of canon, Steve actually has an older brother, Alan, who is handsome and athletic and basically amazing, and when they are orphaned they are raised by their aunt and uncle. Steve gets TB twice as a kid, nearly dies from it, and when the stock market crashes, ends up separated from his brother and in an orphanage after his uncle loses everything.

(Honestly if I were writing this book, his brother would be the secret villain. Chekhov's Gun!)

Steve has glasses, gets bullied, is a nerd and an honor student, and studies law at Columbia because he wants to help stop fraudulent business practices and also fight organized crime. Legally, I mean. In a manner relating to law. I guess he's sort of like Daredevil. The lawyer part of Daredevil.

And then he joins Rebirth, and this is the part where I had to put the book down for several minutes, because Erskine's secret chemical, the key to making super-soldiers... is LSD.

Oh my God. You should see my face right now. My expression is, I am sure, indescribable. I'm trying not to wake the dog up laughing.

I just. Holy shit. This book is from 1968 in a way I definitely was not expecting. What the fuck, Marvel?

This project was headed by the brilliant biochemist, Dr. Erskine. His work with the endocrine system, and chemical body control, was well beyond that of his contemporaries. Only he, of all his colleagues, had fathomed the secrets of the Swiss Dr. Hoffman's 1938 discovery -- the mind-controlling LSD-25.

Let's just pause here for a few minutes and contemplate this.

I will point out that Albert Hofmann (yes, the book spelled his name wrong) didn't actually discover that LSD was a hallucinogen until 1943 when he accidentally tried it, but I am positive that 1968 here was a time when Some People were convinced LSD was a wonder drug. I'm still laughing. As far as I can tell, legal manufacturing of it stopped in 1965 so I am pretty sure that the author did not just decide to name a drug that had an ostensible legal therapeutic use, because it wouldn't have still had one by '68.

Anyway, in this version of events, Rebirth is a month-long process that involves a lot of vitamins, physical conditioning and training, and, yes, putting metal in his bones like he's the next Wolverine. They're filling his bones with stainless steel rods to make him stronger. That doesn't seem like a great idea to me, but I am also not sure about dropping acid to gain superpowers. Clearly I am not a genius scientist. Also Erskine knows what DNA is, apparently, because he's just that great. Anyway. Other than the metal, those all seem like relatively normal interventions. So far.

Now Steve has become fairly big and strong (and I guess he still has metal in his bones? this concerns me!) but they need to make him superhuman, so, yes, really, it's time to drop acid. Several pages of this book are devoted to describing Steve's acid trip. His acid trip is amazing and he discovers that he has conscious control of his entire body down to the cellular level. He can control the adrenaline in his bloodstream! He can tighten his muscle fibers! And when he's done tripping he still remembers how to do this, if not exactly on a conscious level, but he can still access the abilities. And that is how you make a super-soldier. It's LSD. Remember, kids, drugs are awesome! Do drugs!

Let's maybe take a few more minutes to think about this.

I just. I have no words. How did anyone at Marvel agree to print this?

I think for the most part superhero origin stories tend not to involve real drugs because people are generally aware that drugs they've heard of won't make you into a superhero. I guess this is what it looks like when you invoke the names of real drugs. They probably wanted something that sounded more realistic but somehow I don't think this was the best way to go. (Radiation, of course, will definitely make you into a superhero but I feel like most people have accepted that as one of the conventions of the genre.)

Anyway, after that Erskine gets killed by Nazis, of course, and Steve goes to war, and for some reason this book contains footnotes by Stan Lee himself listing the comics you can read all of this in. Just like the actual comics do!

We are introduced to Bucky, who for some reason is also from the LES in this version, although not anyone Steve knew before the war, and there is of course a description of Bucky's tragic death and Steve's subsequent icing.

They are really, really stressing the Man Out Of Time thing here:

No other man could have survived so fantastic a voyage through time. And no other man could feel so displaced by time.

He was a man twenty years in his own future. By rights, he should be nearly fifty years old -- nearly twice the age of his fellow Avengers. Yet his mind and his body were not yet thirty.

When the Avengers had brought him back to New York with them and insisted that, as an honored hero of the past, he join them, he felt a sort of melancholy homesickness for his own time and world.

We then get a few paragraphs with the usual being sad that he let Bucky down and got him killed, and also that he misses his family, and that Steve Rogers doesn't exist anymore, and that nobody is alive who remembers him, and that war is hell.

Hey, Steve, maybe the drugs you should do are antidepressants. Just a thought.

Also, this book is 118 pages and we're not out of the origin story flashback until page 34. I think there are some pacing issues here.

Actually, I lied, the flashback keeps going, but now we're up to the Avengers finding him, and I have to say that the list of things Steve finds strange about the future is kind of charming when the future is 1968. Men have long hair! Women have shorter skirts! Everyone is kind of blasé about rocket launches because there have been so many space missions now. (Oh, come on, you haven't even landed on the moon yet, 1968! You're not that blasé.) Color TV! And, excitingly, LPs! You can now listen to 36 minutes of consecutive music. (I actually don't know what previous standard he's describing that is a ten-inch record that holds six minutes a side because I don't think 45s are that big. Yeah, no, I just checked and 45s are seven inches in diameter. Hmm. Oh, never mind. He means 78 rpm, doesn't he? In my defense, the record player my family had when I was a kid didn't play those.)

The description of Steve coming into New York for the first time is definitely written by someone who knows New York, which is fun. There is generally a lot of local flavor to the setting of this book. That’s one of the best parts.

There is a brief summary of Steve's feelings about all the Avengers -- he is most impressed by Thor, which, I mean, fair, he's an actual god -- and Hank telling him all about how he can live in Tony's mansion. With Jarvis. Who Hank says is actually from Flatbush. Apparently Steve spent a lot of time at the NYPL branch at 5th and 42nd trying to catch up on history. And then of course the Avengers ditched him and gave him the Kooky Quartet, and for some reason they're not here right now either so it's just Steve being sad and alone and dealing with this mysterious dead guy. I think probably the book is also done explaining fiat currency now. This is definitely the weirdest Marvel novel I've read.

Anyway, we have now returned to what is ostensibly the actual plot. Steve shows up at the New York Federal Reserve Bank (I guess the theft is happening here and not, like, at Fort Knox) with the gold bullion that the dead guy from the beginning of the book had on him -- I think I got distracted by the LSD bit and forgot to mention that part, but the dead guy was carrying some US government gold -- because the actual plot is that villains are trying to tunnel into the bank vault and steal gold. Steve discovers this after he gets the bank manager to give him a tour. The bank manager tries to refuse, citing security concerns -- Captain America could be anyone under that mask, after all! Steve just smiles and says, "If I removed my mask, would you have any better idea of who I am?" and I guess that's a flawless argument because he gets his tour.

(I'm sorry, all I can think of is that one gif from the JLA cartoon where Lex Luthor bodyswaps with the Flash, announces that now that he's in the Flash's body he's going to discover the Flash's secret identity, then pulls off his own mask, stares at himself in the mirror, and says, "I have no idea who this is.")

Given that the theme of Steve's interior life in this novel is "Steve Rogers died twenty years ago" it seems even more sad that Steve is just walking around basically saying, yeah, well, I'm nobody. And apparently that is being reaffirmed for him by the narrative.

So Steve goes down the tunnels, takes out some of the bad guys, and gets himself knocked out and buried in a collapsing tunnel. Don't worry, he's gonna be fine.

A lot of this book, by the way, is from the POV of random people, like this bank guard who went with Steve into the tunnels:

He had wondered, briefly, if a man like Captain America ever knew the pinch of too many bills, had ever felt desperate over the arrival of yet another mouth to feed. But, of course, Captain America had no family, and would hardly concern himself with such matters. It didn't occur to Thompson to wonder if this in itself might not be something for which to pity Captain America.

Rude. I mean, come on, do we really need random characters telling us Steve is a sad sack whom nobody loves? Steve's already got that covered!  (Also, how does this guy know Captain America has no family?)

Anyway, thanks to the power of LSD, Steve is going into a trance, amping up his metabolism (he loses "several pounds" in a few minutes), and making himself super-strong so he can dig himself out. Hooray. This is definitely how human bodies work. Also LSD. This is definitely how LSD works. Yes.

Steve then finds out that a couple of the guards who were with him in the tunnels died down there and he goes home and eats dinner while stewing in miserable guilt because he was responsible for their deaths. He's really not okay. I'm not sure the book actually understands how not okay they have made him. Then someone from SHIELD is on the phone for him and he is briefly cheered up by the thought that it might be Sharon although I think we should also note that the narrative makes it clear that at this point in canon Steve still doesn't know her name. Remember when that was a thing?

Alas, it is not Sharon; it's just a random SHIELD agent who happens to have information about the plot and asks to meet. Then, as Steve leaves to go to the meeting, we get two pages of exhaustive description about the mansion layout and how it's built relative to the surrounding buildings. It feels like this book was written by a frustrated city planner. But anyway, the meeting is a setup and the villains capture Steve.

They knock Steve out, drug him, take him to their hideout, and tie him to a chair. Except, once again thanks to the power of LSD, the tranquilizer they're using wears off way sooner than they expected and so Steve feigns unconsciousness and listens to them discuss their evil plans.

And then the villains unmask him and I swear it's exactly like that JLA gif:

Rogers heard footsteps scuffing across a thick carpet, and then Sparrow's voice again, almost directly over him. His ears still buzzed, but he fought to catch the elusive familiarity of the man's tone. He wished he dared open his eyes.

"This is a moment which I, personally, have long awaited," Sparrow said, his voice rising in triumph. "*The unmasking of Captain America!*"

Then, his nails scraping along Rogers' face, Sparrow dug his fingers under his cowl, and ripped it back. Rogers felt air strike his exposed cheeks and forehead. Then fingers clutched his blond hair and pulled his head back. "Behold!" Sparrow said.

Raven was first to speak. "Well, I dunno about you, Sparrow, but it rings no bells with me. I never seen him before."

Starling agreed. "His face means nothing to me."

"He could be anybody," said Robin. "What good does this do?"

Sparrow let Rogers' head fall back to his chest, and his voice when he spoke was defeated. "I don't know. Nothing, I guess. I always wondered. I felt, if these guys -- these costumed heroes -- wore masks, it must mean something."

"Captain America was missing for twenty years," Starling said. "That could mean the first one died, and this one took his place. He looks awfully young."

"Perhaps. It doesn't really matter. Let's get going."

(Yes, the villains all have bird-themed codenames. I have no idea why.)

This scene just makes my day. I love dramatic unmaskings. I bet they'd have been a lot happier unmasking Iron Man.

The villains then leave Steve and go to a power plant, where we switch POVs to one of the plant employees and get two entirely unnecessary paragraphs about his racist and anti-Semitic thoughts about his coworkers before the villains murder him. Great. Thanks.

Anyway, the villains cause a blackout, while meanwhile they've left Steve alone with the girl villain, and Steve is busy trying to persuade her that crime doesn't pay. He's moved from the "do you know what they'll do to you in prison?" theme onto "how exactly are you going to spend a billion dollars in gold bullion when it's illegal for civilians to possess? who are you going to do business with?" and then points out that gold is heavy and hard to transport, which is when she gets out a a knife.

The bad guys are off to steal the gold, and Steve has now successfully turned the girl they left him with, because she frees him. Of course, the first thing he does is put the cowl back on.

"Why do you wear that?" she asked.

"The mask?" He smiled. "It gives people something external to concentrate upon."

"But..."

"Without it, I'm just another ordinary-looking man. With it, I become a symbol. For some people it creates awe; for others, fear. Look at me. I'm different now, aren't I? With the mask on."

"Yes," she nodded. "You look -- bigger, somehow. Stronger. Fierce, implacable. You look a little scary."

"Exactly. You no longer see me as a person, but as a thing -- an Avenger. It can be a potent psychological weapon."

"They were so disappointed, when they took your mask off. As though underneath they'd find a famous person."

"Maybe that goes on TV -- handsome playboys, and all that. But I've been anonymous all my life. Even my real name would be meaningless to you, to them. No, the mask is part of the uniform, a psychological device. That's the whole story.

Now: let's get out of here. You have a good deal more to tell me yet, and we can't waste more time."

Bwahaha. In a few years, Steve's going to be pretty surprised about who superheroes are, I think.

STEVE, now: Superheroes definitely aren't secretly handsome playboys! That would be silly! STEVE, after Molecule Man: fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK I'm such an idiot

I'm definitely looking forward to that.

Also, not that the issue of Steve's psyche actually recurs after this, but he's once again having the narrative vindicate his belief that Steve Rogers is dead and whoever he is under the cowl doesn't matter. Steve, I don't think this is very healthy.

Steve then tracks down the villains stealing the gold, has some geopolitical thoughts about where the gold could be going (he thinks either South Africa or Russia for the best laundering potential) and then hides himself in the villains' trunk while they drive to Staten Island, which is where they're taking the gold out of the country from.

During the final confrontation, Steve finally gets to see the villains, and he discovers that the one in charge is in fact the director of the Federal Reserve Bank who Steve met at the beginning of this book. Gasp. But that's not all! He's also... the Red Skull!

Honestly, I was kind of surprised; I didn't think this was the kind of book where we'd get any known comic villains, but I guess it's always gotta be the Red Skull. I think he's the only one of Steve's big villains who likes to disguise himself; Zemo has obvious disguise issues and I imagine it's also hard to cover up Zola's Teletubby-esque television body.

Steve shoots one of the villains, because I guess that's what he does in this era of canon.

So the plot wraps up in, like, two pages, because for some reason all these early Marvel novels wrap up very fast. Red Skull, of course, attempts to escape and then disappears and his body is never found. The end.

Well.

That was definitely a book. That I read. Believe it or not, I actually think it was the best of these early Marvel prose novels that I've read so far, even if it was also the absolute weirdest; I thought the thriller-style plot was entertaining, I liked Steve and his Extremely Sad characterization, I obviously enjoy all the identity themes, I liked how very detailed the New York setting was, and I do like how they tried to treat it all seriously. I mean, sure, this did lead to LSD in the super-soldier serum in presumably the name of realism, but I felt like the book was trying to present superheroes in a way that didn't feel silly and also didn't really take for granted that the reader would automatically accept superheroes.

It felt like a book that was written hoping that people who weren't superhero fans would read it, if that makes any sense. And I thought that was interesting, because most modern superhero work that I can think of assumes they've got complete audience buy-in and everyone is willing to suspend their disbelief and we all know the genre conventions and are expecting people running around in brightly-colored spandex. Whereas this is more like a James Bond novel if for some reason James Bond were called upon to defend his decision to wear brightly-colored spandex instead of bespoke suits. But I assume no one read it, because Bantam never published a Marvel book after this one.

If you can actually find a copy of this one for a price you're willing to pay. I recommend it. It was delightful and way more solid than I thought it was going to be.

Also, come on, you know you want to read about Captain America's acid trip.

#posts i actually wrote

[dragonnan]

16, 17 and 19 for the most recent ask thingy, should you feel the mood sway you. 😁

The mood will ALWAYS sway me lol!

16. Describe your WIP that currently has the highest word count.

Simon and Simon and Psych (Psych/Simon & Simon) Word count: 24,323

So this one, in spite of not being updated in YEARS, is a story I’m still absolutely on fire to resume because I’m just thrilled af about the concept. It’s a crossover between 2 series I love - Psych and Simon & Simon (an 80s Private Detective series).  What excites me most about it was the reimagining of Simon & Simon for the modern era while still retaining all of the things that made the characters what they were.  

A little back story on Simon & Simon as I feel more people will be less familiar with that series of the two.  The series is about 2 brothers who decided to open a detective agency together after the younger brother, AJ (Andrew Jackson), left the larger detective agency where he had been working for several years.  

AJ is blond, surfed a great deal as a younger man, attended law school, and was considered the “golden child” growing up somewhat sheltered and cherished and maybe a tad innocent of the world.  When his brother went to Viet Nam, AJ took part in the peace protests - primarily because he was terrified for his brother and wanted to do anything he could to make the fighting stop.  AJ tends to be the more mature of the brothers - nearly always wearing a suit and usually takes lead in dealing with clients (assuming Rick doesn’t interrupt him).  

Rick, the older brother, left home after they father died and bounced around from various interests, including being a biker for a time, before going to Viet Nam.  He would come back from the war with a boatload of PTSD and a very fierce drive to protect his younger brother (probably far more so than he’d even felt prior to Viet Nam but to be clear - Rick is VERY protective of AJ).  All of that, however, might take the casual observer by surprise as Rick is incredibly irresponsible (on the surface) and nearly always in a good mood or quick with a joke.  Just don’t threaten baby bro other their mother.  Really, just do not.   

So that’s a bit of backstory so I can mention my changes for the modern era.  Instead of Viet Nam, Rick is now a veteran of Desert Storm.  They now both carry cell phones instead of relying on pay phones or other land lines.  They have a website.  I’ve updated their cars.  Before, AJ drove a red Camaro T Top so I changed that to a 2008 Chevy Corvette.  Rick, in the series, drove a 1979 Dodge Power Wagon so that one... did not change lol!  I seriously cannot picture Rick in any other vehicle. 

So after ALL OF THAT there’s actually a story in progress...

The plot thus far is that the Simon brothers are in Santa Barbara because AJ is running in the annual Half Marathon (an actual one cause I do like to blend some real events with my fiction lol).  While in town, Rick goes to run an errand - picking up an item his buddy Carlos had shipped but wasn’t able to pick up himself because Carlos is... sketchy (an actual character from the series that we hear about anecdotally from Rick).  Meanwhile, Juliet and Lassiter are at the shipyards as well, having set up a sting on suspicion of drug activity.  So, of course, when Rick goes to collect this item for Carlos, he ends up being stopped by the cops who confiscate the item after finding it filled with drugs and they arrest Rick.  THIS, then, is how the crossover comes into play as Shawn, of course, horns in on the investigation and immediately suspects that Rick is being setup so he volunteers to help out the Simons.  Various things happen which ultimately leads Shawn, Gus, and AJ back to the shipyards and a suspicious warehouse (aren’t ALL warehouses suspicious?) where suspicious men are rapidly emptying it of product.  The 3 men get caught and are bundled off in the back of a suspicious vehicle to a suspicious location.  At about this time Rick is let out on bail (thanks moooom....) and in a panic as he hasn’t heard from his brother.  When he realizes AJ must be in trouble, he ends up tentatively joining up with Juliet and Lassiter who are trying to find Shawn. Nobody is entirely thrilled with being teamed up in either group...

And this is roughly where things stand after the last update!     

So after I’ve subjected you to all of the above, how about a snippet from chapter 1?

___

Shawn Spencer spun slowly in his father's chair – maintaining just enough speed to make a full revolution before kicking himself into another circuit.  Typically he enjoyed his time at the station, provided he wasn't behind bars or being subjected to an interrogation.  Okay, scratch that.  He did enjoy an interrogation provided his hot pants girlfriend with a personal pair of handcuffs was the one dressing him down.  He leered. He didn't even have to try to make that sound dirty.  

Right.  Back on the subject at hand. Naughty cop Jules would, sadly, have to wait until they could have some private time.

If they could have some private time.  Of course, the way things were going lately...

And that brought him back full circle to his original beef.

Dad was being cagey. Like, Nick Cagey complete with diminished mane and sneaky covertness. Sure, he pretended he wasn't being covert but his dad sucked almost as bad as Lassie when he tried to fake acting casual. He was way too sour in the shorts to pull off that level of none chalice.

Like now, the old man was going for coffee. Like anybody with half a badge couldn't see right through that act. Shawn pulled together a mild sneer as his dad returned to his desk.

“Really? You put sugar in that too?”

His dad didn't look at him as he set his coffee on the desk. “Stop glaring at me. And get the hell out of my chair!”

Shawn didn't budge. “I am on to you.” He enunciated with immaculate exaggeration.

“The only thing you're on is my chair. And too many Pop Rocks; I thought Gus had cut you back to one pack a day.”

“I'm allowed two packs on the weekend.”

“It's Wednesday, kiddo. Maybe it's time you invested in a calendar.”

“Well maybe it's time you invested in hair plugs!” Shawn paused as his father crossed his arms. The pointing hand dropping back to his lap. “Too Terence Stamp? Sorry, I was caught up in the moment.”

“What do you want, Shawn?”  Giving up on patience, Henry opted for shoving his son until he toppled out of the chair.  Ignoring the yelp when Shawn flopped to the tile, he scooted closer to the desk so he could pull up the report he'd been working on.  Fingers just coming to rest on his keyboard, he scowled at the active game of Pitfall taking up his screen.  He tapped a button but rather than taking him back to the SBPD mainframe, it caused the character to jump into the green shapes he assumed were meant to be alligators.  Behind him, Shawn gasped.

“You just killed my last guy!”

“Be grateful that's all I've killed.” Slapping a few more keys he finally found the right combination to get back to his report.  

Still sitting on the floor, Shawn drew up his knees up and propped his chin on both fists.  Not even managing to type a single word, Henry sighed and swiveled towards his moping son.

“What, Shawn?”

Now that he had the desired attention, Shawn pushed his lower lip out the tiniest bit.  “Jules is busy and she said I can't help with the stakeout cause it's “super stupid important, Shawn” and Gus won't let me borrow the blueberry so I can follow her cause deep down inside I know she wants me to help cause, please, like I don't always make a stakeout better – I mean, who else is going to remember to bring an extra container of cheese dip for the nachos because one cup is just never enough and believe you me you do not want to short cheese a guy packing tear gas...”

Henry held up a hand to cut off the ramble that could easily go on another five minutes.  With his other hand he rubbed at his aching eyes.  Of course Shawn would find out about the sting.  However, Chief Vick had been adamant about keeping him out of it.  Henry had actually lobbied for including his son on the details – the memory of the last big operation that had temporarily cost him his job was not an easily healing wound.  Rather than even attempt reconstructing the word barrage of bitching, Henry latched on to the least pointless detail.

“Where is Gus anyhow?  I thought you two left an hour ago for dinner.”

Shawn shrugged.  “I don't know for certain...  I mean, by now he could be anywhere.  He's always expressed an interest in touring with Alicia Keys...”

“Shawn.”

“We went to Taco Louie's and he insisted on the deep fried beef and bean mini burrito...”

Henry raised his hand again.  Enough said.

“Well whatever you were thinking, I'm still not talking the Chief out of her decision.  You're bored?  How about you work on the burglary case I gave you.”

“Daaaad... the Redbox robberies?” Groaning, Shawn flopped on his back and sprawled dramatically. Officers passing back and forth shot glances at the display and Henry rubbed his face in embarrassment.

“Dammit, Shawn, get off the floor! You look like an idiot!”

Shawn sat up but didn't stand.  Nor was he ready to let go of his latest complaint.

“Come on!  Dad, Redbox?  That is so... not sexy!”

17. Describe a fic that is still in the ‘ideas’ stage.

This one is an Iron Man character exploration regarding Tony’s relationship with Obie and that, with hindsight, he realizes Obie had been grooming him.  It will never cross that crucial line but the potential leaves Tony reeling.  This will be in the same universe as another short fic titled “Simple Math”.  Here’s the bit of writing I’d put together so far:

_____

He'd thought it was bonding; at the time.  His dad had never been one for just hanging out; shooting the shit; telling tales out of school.  No, Pops, when he bothered to interact, led with questions.  “You keeping your grades up?” “You still seeing that floozy?” “When are you going to pull your head out of your ass and grow the hell up?” “You do realize it's my name you're disgracing every time you go on a bender?”

With Obie it was just, easy.  Obie might ask about school but it was always with approval and pride.  He would discuss Tony's conquests as though Tony had climbed Kilimanjaro wearing nothing but underwear and a cape.    

Obie was there when his father wasn't. Which meant that Obie was always there.  The first time he got astoundingly drunk on his father's scotch, Obie was the one to help him hunch over the toilet and vomit expensive, aged booze into the toilet.  Obie was also the one to replace the depleted bottle to keep Howard in the dark.  For a fourteen year old kid still trying to gain his dad's favor, that had meant everything.

He saw his first porn with Obie; sex education ala Traci Lords, three months shy of his fifteenth birthday.  That was the same time he was introduced to weed.  Obie had cautioned him to use it sparingly; didn't want to fry that genius brain, he'd say, and ruffle his hair.  The porn had made him uncomfortable.  Obie had turned it off and told him they could watch whatever Tony wanted.  They'd ended up changing the station to Knight Rider; smoking and munching Cheetos and laughing over their orange fingers.

It was Obie who was there, arm around his shoulders, after his parents died.  He desperately didn't want to sob in front of the man.  Things were so complicated with his dad that all he felt was blinding guilt... as though some part of him had caused this.  But Obie had filled him with bourbon until the emotions got soft around the edges and he'd sat beside the older man, head tipping gradually to the right until he was held up by Obie's bicep. Obie had just slung and arm around him and let Tony pass out while he rubbed a broad hand up and down his arm.

It was strange, now, looking back with adult perspective.  A perspective that included Afghanistan and his intended execution and Obie's arm around his shoulders while he talked about legacy and responsibility while Tony's lungs slowly seized.  He'd taken the time to sit there – arm around Tony's shoulders while one broad hand traveled up and down Tony's bicep – just like when he was a kid and Obie was the whole world.

He'd tried to remember if it had felt so tainted... at the time.  Or if he'd always believed it was love.

Obie had never quite crossed that line. Though hindsight offered a peek into that possibility with enough clarity Tony had fought with his cramping gut for nearly thirty minutes.  He'd staved off vomiting though he was fairly certain his dignity had still been in tatters what with Bruce wandering in on his misery.

19. What’s your favorite character headcanon?

Gosh... It’s funny that when asked the question the first thing that I ponder is “what head canons?? what are characters??? Do I even watch tv???” So I needed to ponder a bit.

As far as it goes my favorite head canons are not typically ones that I myself have come up with.  And going with that maybe the best one I know is for the series, and character, Sherlock.

I’m am 100% all in on Sherlock being on the autism spectrum.  Yes, I know this is attributed to MANY characters but consider the fact that those reasons have a ton of validity.  Sherlock has very strong indications of being on the spectrum and having read quite a number of essays on the subject, many of which were written by people who are also on the spectrum, I’m completely convinced.  It’s to the point I don’t even like calling it a “head canon” as that implies it’s only a fan concept and therefore has less likelihood.  It just feels so deliberate with that character.  

So going off from that I would say, in a more general sense, my favorite head canons are they type where we can discover neurologically atypical traits in characters - especially heroes.  Too long anyone neurologically divergent is portrayed either as a victim or, FAR FAR worse, as the “crazed villain” and frankly that is disgusting.  So it is beyond refreshing to suddenly have this amazing, brilliant, layered person who also displays autistic traits.  In going back over characters that I’ve loved most there are many who have traits of this sort that, only in hindsight, do I recognize.  Just a few off the top of my head; Malcolm Bright, Shawn Spencer (100% ADHD), Rapunzel, Rick Simon (remember him? lol), Adrien Monk (his OCD was very deliberate), as well as characters who’ve developed trauma after horrific events such as, well, most MCU characters but particularly Tony Stark and Stephen Strange.  Malcolm Bright also very much was built from trauma but I also am convinced there are neurologically atypical traits at play.  

Thank you so much for the great ask!!        

#disappearinginq

[mst3kproject]

The Manster

Who has two thumbs and is back on terra firma with working wifi?  This MSTie!

As for my chosen subject this week… I don’t think I have to justify this one.  It’s called The Manster, as in a portmanteau of man and monster.  It was directed by a guy who mostly made cheap-ass jungle movies, and stars a bunch of embarrassed actors who don’t know how they ended up here.  It’s old and it’s dumb and it’s often pretty funny though never on purpose, and the perfect stinger moment comes very early in the film… you’ll know it when you see it.

So we have Dr. Robert Suzuki, who lives on top of a volcano.  When people have ‘Dr’ in front of their names and live in isolation with a bunch of blinky light machines, that’s usually a pretty good clue that they’re mad scientists. Tragically our hero, Larry Stanford, is not that observant (Larry’s obliviousness would have been a constant target for Mike and the bots and he would have deserved all of it).  He’s a reporter who wants an interview about Suzuki’s theories on the causes of mutations, but too bad for him, he arrives just as the mad doctor has run out of family members to experiment on.  Under the influence of Suzuki’s injections he’s soon devolving into an animalistic frat-boy, drinking, carousing, and murdering… oh, and he’s growing a second head. Will that be a problem?

So basically this is a werewolf movie with a fake mustache on… or perhaps a Jekyll and Hyde movie of sorts, as discussed in the denouement.  It wants to explore the dichotomy of good and evil in every one of us, using the very silly device of a two-headed man.  I have to say, I understand the metaphor, but it wasn’t put to nearly good enough use.  The movie would have been ten times more fun if we’d gotten to see Larry and his second head arguing over whether or not they’re going to kill somebody.  Not better, mind you, just more fun.

As far as just being a movie goes, The Manster is better than a lot of things I’ve watched for this blog.  The characters have names and look different enough that you can tell them apart, the story makes sense on its own terms and everything that happens is relevant to the plot.  Photography is honestly pretty good and the actors are competent.  All this happens to be in the service of a really silly story with awful special effects (I love Larry’s rubbery second head bouncing as he runs) but it’s engaging enough that you want to keep watching.

What I really like about The Manster, however, is that it offers a lot to analyze.  I’m not sure much of it is intentional.  The Jekyll and Hyde side of the story is elucidated in an ending speech, as Larry’s friend Ian tries to reassure Mrs. Stanford.  He says there was good and evil in Larry, and they’ll just have to wait and see which side wins.  This is not a very satisfying ending, really.  We’ve just seen Larry’s evil side plummet to its death into a volcanic crater… and the surviving good side is under arrest as a serial killer.  Dr. Suzuki and his assistant, the only people who could testify that Larry was not responsible for his actions, are both dead.  This guy’s going to jail.

The really interesting thing in the movie, though, is one that comes up by accident.  Dr. Suzuki’s work is on evolution – his theory is that cosmic rays can induce mutations, producing new species more or less overnight (this is called ‘macromutation’ or ‘the hopeful monster theory’, and lurked on the edges of the mainstream in the 40’s and 50’s) and he hopes to induce the same effect chemically.  When he tries, however, his efforts invariably produce monsters.  Emiko, his wife and former research partner, turns into something resembling the closet monster from The Brain that Wouldn’t Die.  Kenji, his brother, turns into a yeti, and a similar fate awaits Larry.  These mutants cannot understand human speech, and their behaviour is irrational and violent.

This implies a couple of things.  We hear vague mentions of Dr. Suzuki experimenting on fungi, but his heart is mostly in his human experiments.  That tells us that his goal is to speed up the evolution of humanity, and one presumes that this is intended to improve us somehow. Of course, this is not how evolution works.  Evolution does not make things better – this is why biologists have mostly dropped the descriptions primitive and advanced in favour of the more neutral basal and derived.  Dr. Suzuki’s quest is therefore quite misguided, as illustrated by his monsters. In no way could they be considered ‘better’ than humans – in fact, they’re significantly worse at surviving and reproducing (the thing natural selection selects for) than ordinary people are.

There’s another layer here, though.  ‘Evolution makes things better’ is a misconception that’s been around since Darwin, and dates back to even earlier ways of organizing the natural world.  When Linnaeus created the classification system for living things that we’re still saddled with today, he did it under the believe in the Great Chain of Being – the idea that you can order everything that exists into a hierarchy with mold at the bottom and god at the top, and that after god and the angels humans are the best thing that exists (as proved by our being the only creatures able to create classification systems).  It’s an idea that appeals to human vanity and to our need to impose order on the natural world, and it isn’t likely to go away anytime soon.

With that in mind, perhaps there’s another reason Suzuki’s experiments fail.  If you believe that humans are the best living thing around, particularly if you believe we are the image of god on earth, then maybe it’s not possible to improve on us.  Any change you make to people that takes them away from humanity will automatically make them worse.  This idea does appear to be manifest in the fates of Emiko, Kenji, and Larry, all of whom become more apelike, less ‘advanced’, as they change.

In that case, what does The Manster think makes for a good human?  We see a little of Larry before he starts to mutate, so we can compare that with what he becomes.  Rather surprisingly for a movie of this vintage, the fact that Larry is white seems to be pretty incidental.  He is a foreigner in a faraway place, but this serves mostly to drive a wedge between him and his wife Linda.  Except for a couple of rather troubling moments, the film does not present Japan in an exotifying light.  We do see things like a bathhouse and a geisha bar, but these represent Larry’s personal slide into debauchery, rather than the country as a whole.  We also meet normal working people among both the Japanese and the American expat community – reporters, police officers, and even priests.

There’s a very nice bit, actually, where Larry comes upon a Buddhist priest praying, and when he realizes this man doesn’t speak English, Larry takes the opportunity to unburden himself.  It makes him feel better to talk about his moral quandaries aloud, and the fact that the priest doesn’t understand him means he cannot judge him.  This is a very relatable and human moment, one of the best in the movie.

Unfortunately, it also segues into a couple of the most distasteful things in the film.  As I’m sure you’ve guessed, Larry does murder the priest, but before he does, he stares at a particular statue in the shrine – a representation of a three-eyed, fanged being that I am in no position to identify, although it looks a bit like Vajrapani.  Before Larry grows a full second head he sprouts an extra eye in his shoulder, and the implication is that the three-eyed statue draws his attention to the monster within himself. I don’t know much about Buddhism but I do not like the idea of casting another culture’s religious figures as symbols of monstrosity.  The west has done plenty enough of that.

But back to the question of acceptable humanity. We watch Larry get drunk, violent, antisocial, lazy, and promiscuous, which tells us that the ‘good’ man is the opposite of these things: sober, peaceful, friendly, hardworking, and chaste. The film pays particular attention to how Larry relates to women.  The fact that he’s been faithful to his distant wife is established early on, and one of the first symptoms of his devolution is his willingness to discard her.  First he makes out with a couple of girls at the geisha bar, and later he takes Dr. Suzuki’s assistant Terra (who has a tragic backstory but we frustratingly never find out what it entails) as his mistress. On the phone with his wife Linda at the beginning of the film, Larry tells her he loves her and promises to be home soon.  Later, when she comes to Japan searching for him, he shouts at her and makes a show of preferring Terra.

One conversation he has with Linda is particularly revealing.  He tells her he has no desire to settle down in one place and wile away his time drinking coffee and playing bridge when there’s a big wide world out there.  She asks him what about her plans, and he declares he will ‘put her in her place’ and ‘slap her down’.  Since this is when Larry is the opposite of what a good man should be, we can take from it that a good man respects his wife and takes her opinions and needs into account.  For the late fifties, this is actually kind of surprising – I’ve seen films from a decade or two later that were far more backward about this.  So hey, points for that.

All things considered, The Manster is a pretty well-made movie.  It’s dumb and full of clichés, such as the man scientist destroyed by his own creation, the femme fatale who sacrifices herself for the hero because she’s fallen in love with him, theremin music to represent the monster’s appearance, etc etc etc… but it’s competently put together and whether intentionally or no, contains a lot of interesting material. It’s the sort of movie I can watch repeatedly and always find something new in.  Definitely recommended viewing for the 50’s Monster Flick fan, although with the caveat that there is a scene in which one character urges another to commit suicide.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #the manster #guys in gorilla suits #tw: suicide #50s

[matteredloyaltyaa]

                                                       NAV.

                GOOGLE DOC (RULES/ABOUT/VERSES).

                                         PLOTTING FORM.                                             HEADCANONS.                                                   WISHLIST. 

Tumblr mobile friendly version of my rules under the read-more.

DISCLAIMER:

I do not claim to own or have created this character, though the headcanon posts you see here are of my own interpretation of this character and events. I am private and selective, meaning that I only write with mutuals (those who I follow and who follow me in return), and tend to watch who I follow back and/or write with for my own comfort. However, my askbox is open to everybody if you wish to talk to me or the character on this blog, but I may not answer everything put in there.

PASSWORDS:

Due to my social anxiety, I don't have a password in these rules, nor do I send them in. I read everybody's rules and pages before following and usually before interacting.

ACTIVITY:

This is my main blog, which means that I am on it most of the time. However, I do suffer from some mental disorders, namely anxiety, depression, and OCD. These tend to affect how I interact ooc and can make me overly distant sometimes, and it's usually nothing anybody has done to me but my own mind running off on it's own about things. So, I do apologize for that. I may be absent from blogs during bad periods or make a couple posts here and there that I always delete after an hour or two stating that I'm in a bad way. Everything will be tagged.

HIGH HONOR: 

Please note that I base my characterization off my raw play of this game, in which Arthur is HIGH HONOR and you may see more of that toward the end of his main verse. However, I still play him as a morally grey individual, especially as he’s trying to find his own mind on things in a way, but ultimately he leans more toward honorable moral choices (or what are considered honorable for the life he leads). He will do both good and bad things. At his point in time, I’m not exactly leaning towards adding a low honor verse, as his portrayal within the fandom has turned me off completely and after playing that route myself, I don’t really see much reason to. However, that may change if I end up finding a way to put a spin to that.

BLOG & PERSONAL TRIGGERS: 

Please note that I don't have many triggers myself outside of suicide and overly anxiety inducing content (jumpscares, purposely paranoia inducing posts, etc). 

There are some themes that I would like to avoid writing about in detail or at all. Namely, I WILL NOT write out anything like incest (the John/Arthur ship tends to fall into this category for me, along with Arthur/Dutch and Arthur/Hosea, so I will say that it's a NOTP for me), abuse (outside of mentions in regards to backstory, all forms), pedophilia, and rape. Also, I should note on a personal side that pregnancy can make me a little uncomfortable due to some gender stuff with me. I don't mind mentioning it, nor do I mind parental relationships when it comes to Arthur and sometimes outright adopting children in certain verses, but threads and interactions solely based off pregnancy can make me uncomfortable. It's difficult to explain but I would like to avoid it. Really, when in doubt, just ask.

This blog does and may contain triggering material, due to the nature of this game and the character. The biggest ones that will be present here are violence, guns/shooting, crime, and illness. I should also note that, due to the fact that this game takes place in 1899, there may be some triggers related to the views of this time period. Arthur himself is rather progressive and doesn't hold those views himself, but that doesn't mean the people around him don't and may be referenced in threads. Everything will be tagged as I catch it and where needed.

SPOILERS: 

This game has been out for at least a year now. I will not be tagging for spoilers anymore, so please follow or read at your own risk if you are working through the game for the first time.

WRITING, SPEED, and NSFW:

My general writing style is paragraph/paragraphs. I don't mind one-liners but I usually only reserve those for starters that I’m writing and I tend to expand on the length of those as I go. I format my posts, mostly just some minimal spacing, small text (not sub), and all-caps words, bold, and italic usage. If this bothers anybody or makes it hard to read, please let me know and I can continue our thread in a non-formatted way. I also use icons, but I will follow my partner's lead on iconless rps. I can also be a little long-winded with my replies but you aren't obligated to match that. As long as I don't get like three sentences back to five paragraphs, we're all good.

I'm a slow rper. It may take me a day or two to get around to things, both asks, threads, and messages. I don't mind a nudge here and there but if it feels like you're pressuring me, I will warn you and block if it continues.

I'm 24, the muse is 36 in his main verse. We are both over the age in regards to nsfw. Smut is kind of rare for me and I don't do it often on Tumblr, however if we're in a ship and you want to write that over Discord, I may be open to it. That said, too, I will ONLY write nsfw with people and muses who are OVER 18. There is no exception to this. That noted, too, Arthur's in his 30's so a massive age gap may not appeal to him much either.

SHIPPING: 

I’m going to sound like a hardass but: I am a highly selective shipper on here, and the ships that do appear on this blog are ones I have had for quite some time. Everything of a romantic nature will need to be discussed with me and the chemistry has to be there for me to agree to shipping. I’m not an insta-shipper, nor am I accepting to pre-established romantic relationships outside of those in canon. They will need to be discussed with me like every other ship and may be subject to me disagreeing to do it. Otherwise, I am multi-ship, despite being highly selective, and I’m fine with discussing them but please be aware of this.

FOLLOWING, DRAMA, AND DUPLICATES: 

I will usually give someone a day or two of active posting after following before I unfollow if I don't receive one back. I don't mean anything personal by that, I'm simply making sure I don't accidentally like or send anything in if we aren't mutuals. That said, too, I am selective with who I do follow. If you're a sideblog and you don't have that blog easily accessible on your main blog or you don't message me about it, I'm likely going to miss it. I don't follow rp blogs that are run more like personals if only to keep my dash slower. Also, generally, if our writing styles don't mesh, you're rude to me, or you post nasty things, I will likely unfollow/block/or not follow back.

I don’t interact with or reblog callout posts. I don't have great patience with ooc drama and will likely unfollow if there is a lot of it being posted by you.

Following and being followed by duplicates (other Arthurs) is completely fine with me. However, with the mentality sometimes, I won't go out of my way to follow first if only to avoid making anybody uncomfortable by me doing so. I'm also non-exclusive for general interactions, so multiples of the same character I am fine with. I may take mains, however, which means these blogs get priority over plots and focus in headcanons, etc.

CROSSOVERS AND ORIGINAL CHARACTERS: 

I'm crossover friendly so long as I know the character/fandom. That said, if I just can't get into it or make it fit, I won't force it.

I love original characters and you guys are cool with me, however I do need to see at least some stats or a verse we can interact in before I follow/follow back. I'm also fine with your OC knowing Arthur in their backstory but, again, romantic stuff needs to be talked over with me first.

STARTER CALLS: 

I've found that I don't enjoy doing starter calls. I may do them here and there when the urge strikes, but the best way to interact with me is to message me or continuing memes sent or sent to me. I'm also more than happy to like other starter calls, too, if you want to throw them my way.

QUESTIONS?: 

No. Go away. >:(

I’m kidding. Just drop me a message, I’ll get back to you. I also have a Discord available to mutuals, if that’s what you prefer. I promise I’m not as much as a hard ass as these rules make me seem.

ABOUT THE MUN: 

Hey! Thank you for reading these if you do. A little introduction here: my name is Rory, I'm 25, Canadian and operate mostly out of the GMT-7 time zone. Though, I tend to post at odd hours so that may not be too noticeable. I'm nonbinary and I prefer they/them. I'm a full time university student, which means that I may disappear when studies pile up or my time is divided. That said, I do enjoy talking to people when I'm able. My IMs and Discord are always available to mutuals, just drop me a message.

#failed: rory has died . || ooc . #;pinned #[Figured I could do a more mobile friendly thing on here to pin #or more mobile friendly to Tumblr lol] #/// long post #[I hope the readmore works on the dash rn #if not I'm sorry]

[historyman101]

How I think Eureka 7: Hi-Evolution should have been made

Some people have asked me how I would have liked Eureka 7 Hi-Evolution to go if I was the one making it. I got to talking about it with a friend of mine one night, and we came up with a story that, frankly, I think most of us wanted to see at the beginning, but I will post them here anyway. First, a bit of an explanation.

If I ever seem disproportionately angry about the direction of Hi-Evo, it’s because a lot of the problems in this trilogy are the fault of bad writing and a poor development phase. Being an aspiring author myself, I have a tendency to pick apart story lines and can spot what does and doesn’t make sense. I do this in my own writing all the time, which is why I’m still editing my historicals for publication. If I reuploaded them now, they would read very differently.

This trilogy could easily be fixed if Dai Sato just had an editor to rein him in or tell him what works and what doesn’t. I’ll be honest: part of me doesn’t want to believe Sato is really behind this since he makes so much other good content otherwise. And if his Otaquest interview is to be believed, I think he was bent over a desk to work on this. It’s clear from his tone that he’s on this project because he has to be, not because he wants to be.

In addition, given the really schizophrenic advertising this movie trilogy has gotten and the sometimes laughably dissonant tones of the two films so far, I think this trilogy went through development hell. I will talk about this a little more later, but suffice it to say that I suspect one or both films’ plots were changed at the last minute (which would also explain the really shoddy writing) and the animation and art direction in both films make that painfully obvious.

If you’re interested to see how I would have structured this, read on below the cut (some spoilers follow).

Before, we get to my dream trilogy, we need to talk about why I think the current trilogy doesn’t work from a storytelling perspective. Don’t worry, I’ll keep this short.

Of course, HE 3 hasn’t been made yet, so I can’t say for sure how it will all tie together, but at the moment, nothing in this trilogy feels truly connected. The two entries we’ve seen feel like completely different films and one of them comes off as an original film that was changed to fit into E7 at the last minute. The first one is a rushed recap film that tells a new version of old events in the TV series, and the second one effectively renders the first one null to resurrect dead characters in the sequel as well as bringing in the lazy plot device of dimension-hopping, clearly aping from AO.

So, to remedy the problem, here is how I would have structured this trilogy, with a short explanation for each.

Hi-Evolution 1: A full “prequel,” detailing Eureka’s origins and her time in the Federation military with both Adrock Thurston and Holland Novak. The movie would climax with the First Summer of Love and Adrock’s death and end near Renton’s desertion of the Gekkostate (episode 21-22).

The first film should have followed Eureka’s perspective, not Renton’s. I mean, hell, Eureka’s face was on the fucking poster for the first film, so the fact it was almost solely about Renton is just baffling. The way the film was originally billed and marketed, this is what I and I think many others were expecting to see. Instead, we have a recap film that uses the first 20 minutes for an event that should really be used for a climax. This would also fall more in line with Renton’s supposed obsession about finding out about his father, as Kyoda once hinted at in the runup to the film.

Hi-Evolution 2: A “recap” of most of the OG series with some updated and streamlined parts, told from Anemone’s perspective. Some plot points may change such as Anemone chasing after Eureka in the skyfall scene from episode 26, and both she and Dominic deserting to Gekkostate after learning Dewey’s intentions. Chronologically, the film would end at or near the 45-47 episode mark of the original series.

Okay, now I know people will jump down my throat for this since I have criticized clipshows/recap films, but hear me out.

Recap films can work, but HE 1 doesn’t. It comes out clunky, disorganized, and rushed. But if a recap film followed a true “prequel,” it would make much more sense and be easier for the audience to accept. This particular structure would not only make use of stock footage (hopefully remastered and reformatted into 16:9) but it would also be interspersed with new footage showing Dominic and Anemone, as the rest of the anime would play out from her perspective. The “playback” motif would make more sense here as well, since it can be told post-series in the form of recollections from Anemone, Dominic, or both.

HE 2 as is just does not work. The only way it could work is if it or the first film is told from Eureka’s perspective because that way we can more easily empathize with her when she is revealed to be the villain. How it plays out originally gives the audience no reason to care about her since she is barely on-screen in HE 1 and is with Renton even less. Developing their romance is important, else it will not feel genuine to the viewer.

In addition, this film would actually build and add more to Anemone’s character, which HE 2 completely fails to do. I had some hopes for HE 2 since Anemone was always a character I thought could use more exploration. The film could have easily used its time to give Anemone a proper backstory, explain how she came to the Federation military and show us the experiments to which she was subjected. Instead, HE 2 gives us a completely different Anemone, a cutesy, peppy Japanese girl joining the military to avenge her father’s death. In other words, a generic moeblob heroine.

Hi-Evolution 3: The real “sequel,” showing events of the final leg of the OG series and events post-series, wrapping up the story for good. All characters’ fates would be resolved or explained, giving them the necessary development. Gekkostate is disbanded, Dominic and Anemone work to restructure the military, and Eureka and Renton start a new life together, maybe having a child.

This has the most flexibility, depending on how long the film would be. It would focus not only on Renton and Eureka but on Anemone and Dominic as well if the “recap” film doesn’t add any enough information regarding them. The sequel can even be told from a different character’s perspective (like Holland’s) if need be.

This would do the one thing that is holding this trilogy back: cut out all the unnecessary timelines and start from a clean slate, which is frankly what it should have done to begin with. Hi-Evolution should have just built from what worked before and what people actually liked, forgetting everything else.

I will go into more detail about why Hi-Evolution failed in a separate post once the third film drops, but for now, those are my thoughts on how this trilogy should have played out.

So, am I on the right track? Totally off base? Maybe have ideas of your own? Feel free to reblog and add your own thoughts if you have any.

#e7hievo #eureka 7 #eureka 7 hi evolution #hi-evolution #Renton #Eureka #Anemone #Dominic #anime #historyman's musing #rewrite #Writing tips #fiction writing #creative writing

[starchasertonight]

Kadena College AU MasterPost

The college AU is an alternate universe that explores what Kat and Adena’s story might have looked like if they had met six years earlier than in canon, and changes canon details about Adena’s backstory to account for this. Adena did leave home at 17, but she only travelled for two years instead of nearly a decade. She decided that she wanted to go to university and came to the U.S. to start her BA in Art History when she was 20. Kat goes to college straight from high school. When their lives cross paths, Kat is a 19 year-old sophomore and Adena is a 22 year-old junior. They attend a fictional unnamed mid-size college on the east coast that is not in New York City. It is a school that has a more residential campus.

This AU is best understood as an alternate timeline story. What this means is, these are not the characters as we know them in canon, dropped onto a college campus. It’s an exploration of what their dynamics might have been like if they had met when they were younger, less mature, and each had less life experience. So there are noticeable differences in their characterizations, with the hope that to the reader they feel like authentic younger versions of these characters.

I am telling you the overarching plot of this story because I do not have the time to dedicate to writing it as a long multi-chapter fic. However, my compromise is to present the basic plot of this AU for reference, and then to write short ficlet snapshots from this verse. I encourage you to read the plot synopsis below when you have the time, before reading any ficlets from the verse, because otherwise the ficlets may not make much sense.

The Story:

Sutton and Jane do not exist in this AU. Kat has more shallow and less supportive friendships, and Kat doesn’t make friends like Sutton and Jane until her early 20’s. Kat is studious, but she also parties a lot. She uses alcohol to cope with stress but also to avoid dealing with her own emotions. Kat’s younger self relies on alcohol much more to be honest and to be brave, and it’s a major point of contention in her journey with Adena.

They first meet when Adena is on campus late one night, taking pictures of the full moon, and Kat is drunk when she wanders by her. Adena is worried about her safety and helps her get back to her dorm; Kat doesn’t really remember it the next day. A couple weeks later Kat shows up at a tea shop near campus where a study group for a class is meeting and she recognizes the girl who works there but she doesn’t know why. It’s Adena. Adena reminds her of what happened and they have a conversation. There are really pretty landscape photographs on display in the shop and Kat asks who took them, and Adena admits that they’re actually hers.

Adena and Kat are total opposites in many ways but after a couple more random encounters around campus Kat’s like I think the universe is trying to put you in my life or something. They end up forming an unexpected friendship. Or, “friendship”, because there’s definitely a flirtatious undercurrent from the beginning.  Kat gravitates towards Adena’s maturity and how genuine she is compared to her other “friends” and gets more and more captivated by her. Adena is absolutely falling for her the more time they spend together. Adena is out and Kat knows that she’s a lesbian. Kat is also very open about the fact that she likes to go out on the weekends and that she prefers casual and not complicated and prefers hook-ups. So Adena doesn’t really try to make a move, even though she considers it sometimes because she’s so into Kat and she thinks that Kat is into her too.

They’ve been “friends” for a couple months when Kat shows up on Adena’s doorstep late at night, drunk, and confesses her feelings. They end up kissing, and then Adena helps Kat get a ride home.  Following their first kiss, Kat tries to pretend she doesn’t remember for a few days but eventually admits to Adena that she does remember and she can’t stop thinking about it and then she initiates another kiss, sober this time. She does it somewhere safe, where it can’t drag out and she can go back to what she was doing before. 

Then it becomes this thing, that they kiss when they’re alone together. Remember that Adena is also several years younger and less mature and she’s so passionate and she falls so hard. So she ends up in this position where she’s kind of taking what Kat is willing to give her and she has this hope that it’s going somewhere because more and more time passes and they often kiss when Kat’s sober now too. But they never talk about it. 

One night, Kat is at Adena’s and the kissing gets heavier and she starts to take Adena’s shirt off and Adena makes this sort of half attempt to stop her and Kat tells her she can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to be with her. Adena gives in and they end up having sex. Kat falls asleep there but Adena is all cuddly in the morning and asking if she wants breakfast and Kat panics and says she needs to leave. Basically, over the course of the story, the more they start doing with each other physically the more distant Kat becomes emotionally and it culminates in Kat leaving that morning. The sex itself was really intimate, which is part of why Adena is comfortable being like that with Kat in the morning, because she thinks things are finally different. But then, Kat is Kat and she bolts. Adena is heartbroken and decides she’s reached her breaking point with Kat. She can’t handle having so much care and passion for someone who keeps such a distance emotionally and isn’t willing to have something real with her.

When Kat realizes Adena isn’t answering her texts and she really fucked up by leaving like that she goes to Adena’s place. Adena is super guarded but eventually cries and tells Kat that she can’t keep doing whatever it is that they’re doing. It isn’t until that conversation that Kat realizes just how much she’s been hurting Adena. Adena has been considering studying abroad for some time, and she makes the decision to study in Paris in the spring.

A couple weeks later, after more unanswered texts, Kat shows up at Adena’s to apologize and tell Adena what she really wants and to try to fight for Adena. Adena tells her that she’s going to study abroad in Paris, and she needs Kat to not fight her decision, to let her go.

About a month after Adena gets to Paris, Kat emails her and asks Adena if she’d be willing to share her address so Kat can mail her something. Adena writes back her address and Kat sends her a letter. In the letter she tells Adena everything she’s been thinking about, and more fully apologizes for the ways that she’s hurt Adena.

International mail takes a while but Adena gets her letter and she processes it for a week before she writes back. They trade a few letters in Adena’s time there.

Then, one day, when Adena’s been gone over 3 months, Kat gets an email. There’s nothing in the subject or the body of the email but there are two pictures attached. Kat continues to receive regular emails with pictures attached, but never a message. Adena is never in the pictures, but it’s like she’s sharing parts of her life there, slowly letting Kat in again.

Meanwhile, Adena meets Coco shortly after she arrives in Paris. Coco is into her and it’s easy and she makes Adena feel desired and cared for and they end up in a relationship. Adena is open with Coco about what had happened with Kat before she came to Paris. When it’s time for Adena to return to the U.S., they agree to maintain their romantic feelings for each other and keep in touch long distance, but not to be exclusive. Because they have separate lives in different cities and Adena still has another year of school left, and any kind of future they might have together is tenuous at best.

When she gets back to the U.S., it’s June and Kat is working a summer job near campus. Kat goes to see her, a couple days after Adena gets back. It becomes extremely clear to Adena that Kat has matured a lot while she was gone and made a lot of changes in her life. Kat tells her that she doesn’t want to pressure her, but that she still wants Adena, and she’s ready now, to be what Adena deserves, and she’s willing to take however much time Adena needs to prove that to her.

Adena skypes with Coco pretty regularly and it’s Coco who finally asks Adena what she’s waiting for with Kat and calls her out for being scared. Coco says of course she’s a little jealous but she understands and Adena needs to let her walls down because she so clearly wants Kat and things are different now. Adena and Kat have been spending time together, catching up on each other’s lives and building trust in person again. They’re spending time together again when Adena thinks about what Coco said and she tells Kat that she still wants her.

They start dating for real, and soon enough become official girlfriends. This happens right around the start of the new school year. So, the story as a whole lasts a year.

---

As you may have noticed, the story is set up such that there are intentional parallels to canon season 1 events within the AU, but re-framed and re-imagined to fit the verse.

#college au masterpost #for reference #college au #i will be using this post as a reference point to introduce people to the AU

[airoasis]

Everything Wrong With Captain Marvel In 16 Minutes Or Less

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/everything-wrong-with-captain-marvel-in-16-minutes-or-less/

Everything Wrong With Captain Marvel In 16 Minutes Or Less

never much like the Stanley cameos and definitely don’t like logos but this is goddamn touching but while we’re on the subject of opening logos for movies let’s frame it this way imagine buying the new Taylor Swift album but before you can hear me you have to first listen to 20 seconds of a universal music group audio jingle it would probably be rocking and full of tight harmonies but it would still forever be 20 seconds of norway’s standing between you and your music that’s what opening studio logos do for movies place my hands so angry oh my god they give us the name of the city the description of that city’s importance and then a third line with an utterly incomprehensible series of letter and number characters do you know what time it is Jesus Marvel movies young Dumbledore young Pope Sherlock Holmes is there any beloved institution that Jude Law hasn’t infiltrated anything you know funny how I was thinking the same thing about this chatty friendly fight scene which happens in every movie there’s nothing dangerous warrior an emotion not even a nuclear weapon a landmine sharp sword sniper’s bullet jagged rocks meat from a plant that once had an e.coli outbreak control your impulses so easy miss start using this there’s so much goddamn pedantic mansplaining in the beginning of this movie that I fast forwarded to the end where Carol blasts the Balrog and watched it three times in a row future VR requires artificial tendrils that get to know you better than your spouse just because it looks kind of cool doesn’t make it practical so the burrito supreme searches your thoughts and becomes the person that you’re closest to before communicating I mean contact got murdered for doing that at the end of the movie so long the scrolls have invaded yet another border planet this time Topher already lost me dude if you think for one minute I’m getting all this down plus the three or four other names organizations planets he mentions in this briefing you sadly overestimate my ability to give it well marvel do you read me anybody copy as technologically advanced as they are at a Cree or apparently still reliant on 1990s cellphone reception this is some dusty furry dust things suspense I’m no expert but maybe if you spent less time screaming you’d be able to do more scrolling no one will be seated during the bunch of old portion of the movie some stuff is happening just try and keep track of the purple in the green they’re on different sides I think movie does a great job advertising the Air Force you don’t now the movie does pile on a bit heavy with this stuff about her constantly being told she’s not good enough I get that people are told that but in movie form maybe we don’t need to see it a dozen times to get the point okay fine we need some back story on why Carroll’s so driven to be the best but this exposition brain probe really feels more like a Nike commercial than an MCU film okay wait can you change the way the camera of your memory tilts so that you can pick up fine details let’s just like the zoom and enhance cliche but for your brain dr.

Wendy Lawson that’s her so Carol can hear the scrolls that are digging around in her memories and she in memory reacts to it you can’t change an event by remembering it right fright she got knocked out cold and captured on that planet with a single blast of one of these space Tasers now she’s impervious to them that’s not exactly full-sized so I guess we can call this a little helm scream in case you thought this movie’s 90s references we’re gonna be subtle she crashed lands into a king blockbuster huh movies playing this is a visual gag but was Carol seriously gonna immediately shoot any non-threatening presents in this environment what if this were the janitor doing a late-night cleaning this top shelf here goes hudsucker proxy hook something else that I’m pretty sure is hamburger hill then first night then jumping jack flash jr.

And just cause I worked at three different blockbusters in my lifetime and you could fire four there you have one job and I think half these movies on the Shelf star Sean Connery and Arnold Schwarzenegger how likely in 1995 is it that a blockbuster would be advertising babe with a giant poster and standee when that was only released in August of that year the church wasn’t coming out on video at this point honestly we take care of those dirty looks is quite simply the worst dry-cleaning advertising slogan I could even fathom why does a dry-cleaning service even need a slogan look at you be better off just writing your hours of operation talk about some nuclear yadda yadda how the hell does outdated 90s tech and a payphone and turn into a communicator with the ability to send signals to her people millions of miles away in space all did it book work sure she could make a space phone out of that but she couldn’t bypass Ma Bell in the ill communication once it’s real aliens find the earth to be way less than acceptable cliche okay if this call is urgent enough to use the sirens why not take the cops and shield until after daybreak to respond why was shield alerted at all it’s a broken window in a fucking blockbuster okay this d aging technology has officially gotten creepy as hell I’ll be honest Jana fired Sam Jackson looks pretty awesome here and I am terrified of how that technology will definitely be used in the future this is the most convenient Road near a train situation any city planner ever cooked up in pursuit and she should be easy to track considering she’ll be the only person in Los Angeles to take the train sure Stanley could have been reading Kevin Smith’s mole rat script in 1995 the movie came out on October 20th 1995 so this could be early in the year when it was about to get shot or something the problem is the record story just left Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie and the infinite sadness being advertised here is coming soon or already out came out October 23rd 1995 and while it’s insane that those two things were only three days apart Stan Lee would not have been reading the script in October unless he was just getting nostalgic about his cameo for the residents of LA to jump to an old lady’s needs and all but how is this even possible you’re telling me that after all the kicking Carol’s done three regular ask commuters could temporarily restrain her fight chase on top of a moving train I feel like I’ve never seen that before except always of course it is tunnels the only logical choice once you’ve opted for fight on top of a train what I’m still here at the blockbuster Coulson saw fury take off forever ago so why is he just calling it also look I think the young ending effect they’re using on Sam Jackson is amazing but they must have used all the resources on that because Clark Craig’s face makes Jeff Bridges and Tron Legacy look like fine art look movie no one in a major city subway terminal would look this hard and long and a girl in a weird costume subway terminals are beacons for folks in weird costumes I rode a train once with spider-man and Marilyn Monroe and a guy that look exactly like Richard Grieco only I don’t think that was a costume I think that was just Richard Grieco there you go now that no one can tell that’s an alien no one will ask questions about the body with a jacket thrown over its face inside the wrecked car ah cool the doohickey that the scroll dropped on the train gets inserted into the whatchamacallit and immediately displays plot convenient footage perfectly edited for maximum exposition alta vista internet cafes modems big computer monitors wasn’t 1995 hilarious but seriously how would carol have the first goddamn clue how to work this fad and sure the motorcycle guy was an asshole and probably deserved it but what did this vintage boutique ever do to anyone hey how’s your eye that’s a fine yeah they’re not gonna hem handedly try and shoehorn a reason for Fury’s eye patch into this movie I got word on a motorcycle thief that fits her description but instead of immediately following up on that lead I’m gonna waste valuable time at shield espousing this clunky dialogue might even drink a tear wine and stop by Sam Goody’s to pick up a jagged little pill CD before I act on any of this information toggling Scrolls can only some recent memories of their host bodies that is literally the definition of a stupid restriction to put on an ability just for plot or hero reasons why should they even be able to access any memories if all they’re doing is copycatting where are you born Huntsville Alabama does this do Carroll except to provide a little more backstory for fury is she able to verify this bolt in any way Ruth you’re not a scroll Carol is a dick – what if this is a jukebox from the 90s has to be 30% ac/dc CDs 40% Tom Petty CDs 29% journey CDs and 1% Van Morrison CD is that a communicator yeah state of the art – wig agent which would in no way and work in a bunker like this but I’m gonna keep making these nostalgic references as long as Marvel pays me to do so Oh how did this cat get into this official government covert facility and did they know he was a flirt come if so why is he out roaming the halls hey that’s exactly how Eminem writes his lyrics I’ll assume Lawson was writing the follow-up to Stan I want to question her along that sounds well evil and/or dirty all I know is we take them in to dead or alive dead or alive yeah agreed that’s excessive it makes no sense unless your bosses bosses a scroll poly these are the loudest lights I’ve ever heard can you imagine the constant jump scares you’d have to endure if you were collating these records the CGI cat is a king abomination and yes the actress is allergic and they had to do a CGI cat in some places but just take twenty thousand dollars of the money you’re spending on unifying Sam Jackson and put it into realistic in the cat god damn also they ran into that cat on level five in the storage room and somehow it ran several floors away from that position and got into the hangar and onto a prototype aircraft that they would eventually use Maria Rambo so how do we get to Louisiana I’m sorry but the amount of information they’ve gleaned from a few seconds of glancing through the records like Maria’s exact address is such bull that this movie is actively starting to stink what is Ronan looked like a character from mist here Carol appeared almost lifelike on the hologram earlier and even in full color his accuser tech still using dial-up or something she flashes little moments but I can’t tell what’s real I’ll tell you what’s real someone on this movie set design team thinks this single mother living alone with her daughter keeps a bowl on the table with 16 lemons in it that’s real that happened you’d better come take a look at this cliche that was all that survived the crash well that’s a lie you’re telling me a prototype aircraft crashed and every single piece of it disintegrated into dust including the rest of this dog tag but not this tiny corner of dog tag you know you really should be kinder to your neighbors you never know when you’re gonna need to borrow some sugar this is pretty hilarious but it’s also ridiculous to think that the scrolls stopped off at a fast-food joint to pick up some burgers and shakes on the way to Louisiana and how would you know about the sugar borrowing habits of earthly suburban Knights this soon into your stay on the planet that was before on you you uh before I knew what made you different from me honest Talos had to have gotten this information before the confrontation at the Pegasus base since that’s where he heard the recorder so if he knew that then why did he try to kill Furies ass he knew they were working together and now he’s all peaceful I actually really like this characters turn but given the sequence of events it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense what’s happening it’s loading windows 95 okay so Jude Law shot Lawson before she could blow up the ship but it takes like 15 seconds for him to show up at a distance in all this smoke plus their obstructed somewhat by the crash ship and they’re on the down slope of a hill how did he know where to aim Carol got her powers by being fantastic forward by the warp engine but the energy only hit her despite yon raw and about the same distance away she assumed his power she’s coming with us okay I’d maybe buy that this recording spurred Carol’s memory to recall the crash but she’s being unconscious here so how would she know this part quick question why did they leave the main house and all go to the one day from collapse cabin to listen to the audio it makes a nice shot but it makes no sense from a human being standpoint is this houses only computer out in the decrepit barn why does Talos still have Keller’s jacket on we’ve seen that when they morph into other humans they already have their clothes on but now that he’s turned back into his natural shape that jacket should be gone right she wanted you to help us find the core and why the hell didn’t she tell Carol about the reason for the mission in the first place I know it would have been weird to come out as an alien but they were already in top-secret mode this withholding of information both makes about as much sense as what happened to Poe in the last Jedi did you hear me man this depiction of the friendship between two strong independent women that is emotional but not corny is long overdue and it’s about goddamn time that Marvel showed it so I’m gonna take us in off because I’m totally a social justice warrior or virtue signal or whatever the latest term that’s complimentary but is being used to be derogatory take it off this moonlight shot makes no sense the pole at the bottom right of the shot shows a shadow that matches up with the moon’s location but then the spaceship thing that veers flew here has a shadow that suggests another even stronger light source off-screen to the right when they were handing out kids they gave up a toughest one lieutenant trouble so is everything cool now like KanCare remember everything about her life on earth black box recording was fucking magic what purpose does this function of the spacesuit serve like some cream was almost finished designing it and the supreme intelligence poked its head in and was like don’t forget to add the unnecessary color wheel why did they bring the can captivate this cat will lead her freak out on fury and cut his face but he doesn’t want to do it here in zero gravity which is baffling because I’ve owned a cat before a lawnmower can freak them out a clap of thunder can freak them out suspending in zero gravity but but have them clawing out the eyeballs of all the motherfuckers nearby until they were on solid footing the cloaking activated holy balls is there anything this magical wrist doohickey can’t do can it order takeout purchase ebooks access free porn ah Who am I kidding of course it can access free porn in her note she called us a tesseract you know I’m fine with the timeline of the tesseract the idea that Howard Stark helped found Pegasus in the 80s and handed it over to this project is totally okay I’m just tired of the fucking tesseract it shows up and seemingly every movie being on tesseract and stuff she’s a pinball wizard it’s gotta be a twist a pinball wizard has got such a supple wrist evil dude picked up the cat carried it all the way here and just tosses it casually and that is a ton of wasted effort what did you do to your uniform he got in her head just like we thought when Carol’s been calling with updates constantly since she’s been on earth and there’s no way they would know that the scroll to flipped his jacket it’s killer by the way does the supreme intelligence seriously have the bandwidth and the inclination for pithy one-liners species flirty threat hi so I’ll calmly place a cat’s eyes muzzle over its mouth and I just happen to be carrying on my person without us you’re only human flesh you may be you’re only human to me mistakes this montage of various Carol’s getting up after falling down is excessive and on the nose and over-the-top anjala you were reborn fierce because every sci-fi movie apparently needs an alien race to miss read something and call it something else like Star Trek with Vedra Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes with kolima this goes on for some time I will say this about the movie it waits until the perfect time to unveil Carol’s true powers and this is a goosebumps inducing moment so it absolutely deserves us in off having said that this reveals sets up the same issue as DC has with Superman Carol is all-powerful she hasn’t discovered everything she could do yet but she’s pretty much unkillable now and future movies and game mm we’ll have to do a ton of hand waving and marginalization for her to be included at all into the rest of the MCU okay let playing on just a girl during the climactic scene of this movie that’s more on the nose than anything ever literally the only more on the nose song you could have chosen is Meredith Brooks bitch or maybe Barbie girl or Cyndi Lauper’s well the movie never explains it or even suggests it but jaan raghav errantly has the ability to manipulate metal like magneto and I needs more backstory than anything in this movie that you actually gave a backstory fool god damn huh did that happen the movie is directly contradicting its own previous implications about the power differential here oh they’re dogfighting in the canyons just like an independent Sky Captain and the world of to marvel dude Carroll may be all-powerful but does she also have a GPS built into her headpiece how the hell did she know exactly where yawn Rhonda DUP she didn’t even see him crash poop to me you can beat me this is a great moment but it was also super fucking obvious that it was gonna go down like this this is basically Indy taking out the sword guy with the gun and Raiders of the Lost Ark motherf lurkin I’ll be back before you know it she will not for emergencies only okay and real emergencies too not like of an alien species is invading one of your most populous cities and your shadow government is about to nuke the god of it as a result and really it would take a giant stroke of some luck and some space gravity to avoid total annihilation you could totally handle that you think you can find others like her we found her and we weren’t even looking okay the logic here is stunning and yes they do end up finding more heroes but it’s not because they already existed Carol was a one-in-a-billion fluke banner still hasn’t tested gamma radiation yet Tony has to be kidnapped and build a suit in a cave black widow is just a human badass and Hawkeye is decent too okay with arrows just how amazing with this cat vomit scene be if we didn’t know where the tesseract went during the sequence on lawson’s lab it might have felt worth sitting through the 12 minutes of credits might have there I said it I like a cat ah I’m just a free we have Vincent yeah we happy your father and I were just discussing his day at work why don’t you tell our daughter about it honey Janie today I quit my job and then I told my boss to go himself and then i blackmailed them for almost $60,000 past nice pair your father seems to think this kind of behavior something to be proud of and your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a king prisoner while she keeps my in a mason jar under the sink tell the supreme intelligence that I’m coming to end it you Tom I’m coming and hell’s coming with me before we get started does anyone want to get out you want to play blind man go walk with the shepherd me my eyes are wide just talk

[batterymonster2021]

Everything Wrong With Captain Marvel In 16 Minutes Or Less

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/everything-wrong-with-captain-marvel-in-16-minutes-or-less/

Everything Wrong With Captain Marvel In 16 Minutes Or Less

never much like the Stanley cameos and definitely don’t like logos but this is goddamn touching but while we’re on the subject of opening logos for movies let’s frame it this way imagine buying the new Taylor Swift album but before you can hear me you have to first listen to 20 seconds of a universal music group audio jingle it would probably be rocking and full of tight harmonies but it would still forever be 20 seconds of norway’s standing between you and your music that’s what opening studio logos do for movies place my hands so angry oh my god they give us the name of the city the description of that city’s importance and then a third line with an utterly incomprehensible series of letter and number characters do you know what time it is Jesus Marvel movies young Dumbledore young Pope Sherlock Holmes is there any beloved institution that Jude Law hasn’t infiltrated anything you know funny how I was thinking the same thing about this chatty friendly fight scene which happens in every movie there’s nothing dangerous warrior an emotion not even a nuclear weapon a landmine sharp sword sniper’s bullet jagged rocks meat from a plant that once had an e.coli outbreak control your impulses so easy miss start using this there’s so much goddamn pedantic mansplaining in the beginning of this movie that I fast forwarded to the end where Carol blasts the Balrog and watched it three times in a row future VR requires artificial tendrils that get to know you better than your spouse just because it looks kind of cool doesn’t make it practical so the burrito supreme searches your thoughts and becomes the person that you’re closest to before communicating I mean contact got murdered for doing that at the end of the movie so long the scrolls have invaded yet another border planet this time Topher already lost me dude if you think for one minute I’m getting all this down plus the three or four other names organizations planets he mentions in this briefing you sadly overestimate my ability to give it well marvel do you read me anybody copy as technologically advanced as they are at a Cree or apparently still reliant on 1990s cellphone reception this is some dusty furry dust things suspense I’m no expert but maybe if you spent less time screaming you’d be able to do more scrolling no one will be seated during the bunch of old portion of the movie some stuff is happening just try and keep track of the purple in the green they’re on different sides I think movie does a great job advertising the Air Force you don’t now the movie does pile on a bit heavy with this stuff about her constantly being told she’s not good enough I get that people are told that but in movie form maybe we don’t need to see it a dozen times to get the point okay fine we need some back story on why Carroll’s so driven to be the best but this exposition brain probe really feels more like a Nike commercial than an MCU film okay wait can you change the way the camera of your memory tilts so that you can pick up fine details let’s just like the zoom and enhance cliche but for your brain dr.

Wendy Lawson that’s her so Carol can hear the scrolls that are digging around in her memories and she in memory reacts to it you can’t change an event by remembering it right fright she got knocked out cold and captured on that planet with a single blast of one of these space Tasers now she’s impervious to them that’s not exactly full-sized so I guess we can call this a little helm scream in case you thought this movie’s 90s references we’re gonna be subtle she crashed lands into a king blockbuster huh movies playing this is a visual gag but was Carol seriously gonna immediately shoot any non-threatening presents in this environment what if this were the janitor doing a late-night cleaning this top shelf here goes hudsucker proxy hook something else that I’m pretty sure is hamburger hill then first night then jumping jack flash jr.

And just cause I worked at three different blockbusters in my lifetime and you could fire four there you have one job and I think half these movies on the Shelf star Sean Connery and Arnold Schwarzenegger how likely in 1995 is it that a blockbuster would be advertising babe with a giant poster and standee when that was only released in August of that year the church wasn’t coming out on video at this point honestly we take care of those dirty looks is quite simply the worst dry-cleaning advertising slogan I could even fathom why does a dry-cleaning service even need a slogan look at you be better off just writing your hours of operation talk about some nuclear yadda yadda how the hell does outdated 90s tech and a payphone and turn into a communicator with the ability to send signals to her people millions of miles away in space all did it book work sure she could make a space phone out of that but she couldn’t bypass Ma Bell in the ill communication once it’s real aliens find the earth to be way less than acceptable cliche okay if this call is urgent enough to use the sirens why not take the cops and shield until after daybreak to respond why was shield alerted at all it’s a broken window in a fucking blockbuster okay this d aging technology has officially gotten creepy as hell I’ll be honest Jana fired Sam Jackson looks pretty awesome here and I am terrified of how that technology will definitely be used in the future this is the most convenient Road near a train situation any city planner ever cooked up in pursuit and she should be easy to track considering she’ll be the only person in Los Angeles to take the train sure Stanley could have been reading Kevin Smith’s mole rat script in 1995 the movie came out on October 20th 1995 so this could be early in the year when it was about to get shot or something the problem is the record story just left Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie and the infinite sadness being advertised here is coming soon or already out came out October 23rd 1995 and while it’s insane that those two things were only three days apart Stan Lee would not have been reading the script in October unless he was just getting nostalgic about his cameo for the residents of LA to jump to an old lady’s needs and all but how is this even possible you’re telling me that after all the kicking Carol’s done three regular ask commuters could temporarily restrain her fight chase on top of a moving train I feel like I’ve never seen that before except always of course it is tunnels the only logical choice once you’ve opted for fight on top of a train what I’m still here at the blockbuster Coulson saw fury take off forever ago so why is he just calling it also look I think the young ending effect they’re using on Sam Jackson is amazing but they must have used all the resources on that because Clark Craig’s face makes Jeff Bridges and Tron Legacy look like fine art look movie no one in a major city subway terminal would look this hard and long and a girl in a weird costume subway terminals are beacons for folks in weird costumes I rode a train once with spider-man and Marilyn Monroe and a guy that look exactly like Richard Grieco only I don’t think that was a costume I think that was just Richard Grieco there you go now that no one can tell that’s an alien no one will ask questions about the body with a jacket thrown over its face inside the wrecked car ah cool the doohickey that the scroll dropped on the train gets inserted into the whatchamacallit and immediately displays plot convenient footage perfectly edited for maximum exposition alta vista internet cafes modems big computer monitors wasn’t 1995 hilarious but seriously how would carol have the first goddamn clue how to work this fad and sure the motorcycle guy was an asshole and probably deserved it but what did this vintage boutique ever do to anyone hey how’s your eye that’s a fine yeah they’re not gonna hem handedly try and shoehorn a reason for Fury’s eye patch into this movie I got word on a motorcycle thief that fits her description but instead of immediately following up on that lead I’m gonna waste valuable time at shield espousing this clunky dialogue might even drink a tear wine and stop by Sam Goody’s to pick up a jagged little pill CD before I act on any of this information toggling Scrolls can only some recent memories of their host bodies that is literally the definition of a stupid restriction to put on an ability just for plot or hero reasons why should they even be able to access any memories if all they’re doing is copycatting where are you born Huntsville Alabama does this do Carroll except to provide a little more backstory for fury is she able to verify this bolt in any way Ruth you’re not a scroll Carol is a dick – what if this is a jukebox from the 90s has to be 30% ac/dc CDs 40% Tom Petty CDs 29% journey CDs and 1% Van Morrison CD is that a communicator yeah state of the art – wig agent which would in no way and work in a bunker like this but I’m gonna keep making these nostalgic references as long as Marvel pays me to do so Oh how did this cat get into this official government covert facility and did they know he was a flirt come if so why is he out roaming the halls hey that’s exactly how Eminem writes his lyrics I’ll assume Lawson was writing the follow-up to Stan I want to question her along that sounds well evil and/or dirty all I know is we take them in to dead or alive dead or alive yeah agreed that’s excessive it makes no sense unless your bosses bosses a scroll poly these are the loudest lights I’ve ever heard can you imagine the constant jump scares you’d have to endure if you were collating these records the CGI cat is a king abomination and yes the actress is allergic and they had to do a CGI cat in some places but just take twenty thousand dollars of the money you’re spending on unifying Sam Jackson and put it into realistic in the cat god damn also they ran into that cat on level five in the storage room and somehow it ran several floors away from that position and got into the hangar and onto a prototype aircraft that they would eventually use Maria Rambo so how do we get to Louisiana I’m sorry but the amount of information they’ve gleaned from a few seconds of glancing through the records like Maria’s exact address is such bull that this movie is actively starting to stink what is Ronan looked like a character from mist here Carol appeared almost lifelike on the hologram earlier and even in full color his accuser tech still using dial-up or something she flashes little moments but I can’t tell what’s real I’ll tell you what’s real someone on this movie set design team thinks this single mother living alone with her daughter keeps a bowl on the table with 16 lemons in it that’s real that happened you’d better come take a look at this cliche that was all that survived the crash well that’s a lie you’re telling me a prototype aircraft crashed and every single piece of it disintegrated into dust including the rest of this dog tag but not this tiny corner of dog tag you know you really should be kinder to your neighbors you never know when you’re gonna need to borrow some sugar this is pretty hilarious but it’s also ridiculous to think that the scrolls stopped off at a fast-food joint to pick up some burgers and shakes on the way to Louisiana and how would you know about the sugar borrowing habits of earthly suburban Knights this soon into your stay on the planet that was before on you you uh before I knew what made you different from me honest Talos had to have gotten this information before the confrontation at the Pegasus base since that’s where he heard the recorder so if he knew that then why did he try to kill Furies ass he knew they were working together and now he’s all peaceful I actually really like this characters turn but given the sequence of events it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense what’s happening it’s loading windows 95 okay so Jude Law shot Lawson before she could blow up the ship but it takes like 15 seconds for him to show up at a distance in all this smoke plus their obstructed somewhat by the crash ship and they’re on the down slope of a hill how did he know where to aim Carol got her powers by being fantastic forward by the warp engine but the energy only hit her despite yon raw and about the same distance away she assumed his power she’s coming with us okay I’d maybe buy that this recording spurred Carol’s memory to recall the crash but she’s being unconscious here so how would she know this part quick question why did they leave the main house and all go to the one day from collapse cabin to listen to the audio it makes a nice shot but it makes no sense from a human being standpoint is this houses only computer out in the decrepit barn why does Talos still have Keller’s jacket on we’ve seen that when they morph into other humans they already have their clothes on but now that he’s turned back into his natural shape that jacket should be gone right she wanted you to help us find the core and why the hell didn’t she tell Carol about the reason for the mission in the first place I know it would have been weird to come out as an alien but they were already in top-secret mode this withholding of information both makes about as much sense as what happened to Poe in the last Jedi did you hear me man this depiction of the friendship between two strong independent women that is emotional but not corny is long overdue and it’s about goddamn time that Marvel showed it so I’m gonna take us in off because I’m totally a social justice warrior or virtue signal or whatever the latest term that’s complimentary but is being used to be derogatory take it off this moonlight shot makes no sense the pole at the bottom right of the shot shows a shadow that matches up with the moon’s location but then the spaceship thing that veers flew here has a shadow that suggests another even stronger light source off-screen to the right when they were handing out kids they gave up a toughest one lieutenant trouble so is everything cool now like KanCare remember everything about her life on earth black box recording was fucking magic what purpose does this function of the spacesuit serve like some cream was almost finished designing it and the supreme intelligence poked its head in and was like don’t forget to add the unnecessary color wheel why did they bring the can captivate this cat will lead her freak out on fury and cut his face but he doesn’t want to do it here in zero gravity which is baffling because I’ve owned a cat before a lawnmower can freak them out a clap of thunder can freak them out suspending in zero gravity but but have them clawing out the eyeballs of all the motherfuckers nearby until they were on solid footing the cloaking activated holy balls is there anything this magical wrist doohickey can’t do can it order takeout purchase ebooks access free porn ah Who am I kidding of course it can access free porn in her note she called us a tesseract you know I’m fine with the timeline of the tesseract the idea that Howard Stark helped found Pegasus in the 80s and handed it over to this project is totally okay I’m just tired of the fucking tesseract it shows up and seemingly every movie being on tesseract and stuff she’s a pinball wizard it’s gotta be a twist a pinball wizard has got such a supple wrist evil dude picked up the cat carried it all the way here and just tosses it casually and that is a ton of wasted effort what did you do to your uniform he got in her head just like we thought when Carol’s been calling with updates constantly since she’s been on earth and there’s no way they would know that the scroll to flipped his jacket it’s killer by the way does the supreme intelligence seriously have the bandwidth and the inclination for pithy one-liners species flirty threat hi so I’ll calmly place a cat’s eyes muzzle over its mouth and I just happen to be carrying on my person without us you’re only human flesh you may be you’re only human to me mistakes this montage of various Carol’s getting up after falling down is excessive and on the nose and over-the-top anjala you were reborn fierce because every sci-fi movie apparently needs an alien race to miss read something and call it something else like Star Trek with Vedra Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes with kolima this goes on for some time I will say this about the movie it waits until the perfect time to unveil Carol’s true powers and this is a goosebumps inducing moment so it absolutely deserves us in off having said that this reveals sets up the same issue as DC has with Superman Carol is all-powerful she hasn’t discovered everything she could do yet but she’s pretty much unkillable now and future movies and game mm we’ll have to do a ton of hand waving and marginalization for her to be included at all into the rest of the MCU okay let playing on just a girl during the climactic scene of this movie that’s more on the nose than anything ever literally the only more on the nose song you could have chosen is Meredith Brooks bitch or maybe Barbie girl or Cyndi Lauper’s well the movie never explains it or even suggests it but jaan raghav errantly has the ability to manipulate metal like magneto and I needs more backstory than anything in this movie that you actually gave a backstory fool god damn huh did that happen the movie is directly contradicting its own previous implications about the power differential here oh they’re dogfighting in the canyons just like an independent Sky Captain and the world of to marvel dude Carroll may be all-powerful but does she also have a GPS built into her headpiece how the hell did she know exactly where yawn Rhonda DUP she didn’t even see him crash poop to me you can beat me this is a great moment but it was also super fucking obvious that it was gonna go down like this this is basically Indy taking out the sword guy with the gun and Raiders of the Lost Ark motherf lurkin I’ll be back before you know it she will not for emergencies only okay and real emergencies too not like of an alien species is invading one of your most populous cities and your shadow government is about to nuke the god of it as a result and really it would take a giant stroke of some luck and some space gravity to avoid total annihilation you could totally handle that you think you can find others like her we found her and we weren’t even looking okay the logic here is stunning and yes they do end up finding more heroes but it’s not because they already existed Carol was a one-in-a-billion fluke banner still hasn’t tested gamma radiation yet Tony has to be kidnapped and build a suit in a cave black widow is just a human badass and Hawkeye is decent too okay with arrows just how amazing with this cat vomit scene be if we didn’t know where the tesseract went during the sequence on lawson’s lab it might have felt worth sitting through the 12 minutes of credits might have there I said it I like a cat ah I’m just a free we have Vincent yeah we happy your father and I were just discussing his day at work why don’t you tell our daughter about it honey Janie today I quit my job and then I told my boss to go himself and then i blackmailed them for almost $60,000 past nice pair your father seems to think this kind of behavior something to be proud of and your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a king prisoner while she keeps my in a mason jar under the sink tell the supreme intelligence that I’m coming to end it you Tom I’m coming and hell’s coming with me before we get started does anyone want to get out you want to play blind man go walk with the shepherd me my eyes are wide just talk

[recentanimenews]

THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Sprints Towards Victory in Episodes 99-105!

Welcome to the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! I'm David Lynn, and I'll be your host this week as we make our way through all 220 episodes of the original Naruto. Last week, we covered episodes 92-98, which brought an end to the epic fight between the powerful Sannin. This week we take a detour in the Land of Tea with episodes 99-105. After wrapping up Tsunade's inaguration as the new Hokage, we get a small breather from the heavy arcs and plot developments of the last few weeks. This comes in the form of our first full-fledged filler arc, which entails Team 7 going on an escort mission to ensure an important race in the Land of Tea goes off without a hitch. Hitches, of course, happen anyway—perhaps both in the story and the execution. Let's see what the Crunchyroll Features team thought of this week's episodes!

    These episodes begin by wrapping up Tsunade’s arc, with her finally becoming Hokage. How do you feel about how the show portrays Konohamaru simultaneously processing his grandfather’s death and Tsunade taking his place?

Paul: The most interesting part of that conflict was how Tsunade resolved it by completely ignoring Konohamaru's antics. In his grief, Konohamaru's sulking in a booby-trapped room among his beloved grandfather's memorabilia and Tsunade just walks in like she owns the place (because she does), grabs a medical textbook, and leaves. Tsunade is straight gangster, and but she still gives Konohamaru room to grieve without coddling his selfish behavior. Joseph: I thought they gave that just the right amount of time to transition, especially for Konohamaru. He needed those moments, but it didn’t need to be more than an episode. Tsunade gets better and better each week. Jared: I think it works in the way that Konohamaru is a kid and truly thinks everyone’s just going to forget about the Third Hokage now that a new one is being instilled. He doesn’t know how to process that kind of grief and just evokes it in the only way he knows how. Tsunade coming through and just not caring about any of his traps though was pretty good. Kara: I agree, Tsunade handled it really well. Then again, she would have been in that position at one point herself, so she either knew via hindsight or example what Konohamaru most needed then. I do like getting to see how Konohamaru has grown, and just how many people including himself are really registering with Sarutobi’s passing that “Hokage” means more than “Cool Best Ninja.” Kevin: Honestly, I wish that they focused more on it. A new Hokage is a huge change for the village, and Konohamaru is one of the audience’s closest ties to the Third Hokage, so seeing more people’s reactions to Tsunade and dedicating more time to showing Konohamaru coming to accept her might’ve made for a stronger and more resonant transition. Noelle: I think it was handled fairly well. Like everyone has said, Konohamaru is a kid dealing with a tangible kind of grief for the first time, and everyone processes grief differently. There is no easy bandage to put over that, so Tsunade pushing her way past all that to establish her place felt pretty necessary.   Carolyn: I love Tsunade and it’s great she is so strong and sure of herself… but is it necessary to establish her control to a grieving child? She’s been there, I would have liked to see her comfort him. Danni: I appreciated how her letting him sulk for a bit was just her way of attempting to procrastinate and how her committing to helping Lee any way she can amounted to her actually embracing the title of Hokage. Also, the scene of her walking through all the traps was pretty freaking cool.

  Before our first big batch of filler begins, fan-favorite Rock Lee gets some more focus. In particular, it seems like his moxie has struck a chord with Tsunade, and things are finally looking up for him. Is the pacing of this subplot working for you? Paul: I'm still reeling from the tonal whiplash of jumping from “Lee, have the extremely dangerous, potentially deadly surgery!” to “let's all prank Kakashi until he takes off his mask”. That didn't work for me at all, especially since Lee's recovery is an order of magnitude more emotionally compelling than whatever shenanigans Team 7 is engaging in. Joseph: While I just said Konohamaru’s transition and grieving had just the right amount of coverage, I felt the complete opposite about this. Not that they should have spread it out, but it almost felt like they tossed it in this section haphazardly. What should have had a bigger impact felt overshadowed by what came before it and downplayed as a result of what followed. Still, loved that backstory between him and Guy. Jared: In the moment, I was very much into this and seeing where it was going to go, but it basically just getting dropped to go into filler city just sucked the wind right out of me. I don’t know if this is just a spot where the anime had caught up to the manga and they needed to buy time, but to have this serious episode and then to immediately go into some bizarre attempts at comedy just felt completely out of place. Kara: I love how Lee’s determination got Tsunade back on track. It gives a chance to, again, really dig into what being Hokage actually means. There’s a lot of caring and a lot of hard work, and I’ll be interested to see how the job makes her grow as a character, too. I really do wish there had been more focus on it, though. It was compelling but truncated, and then we go to cod lips and seriously what. Kevin: In more of a vacuum, I would probably say yes. Having too much of Lee’s story all at once would quickly becoming a lot more depressing and melancholic than the show tends to be. However, spacing out his subplot with the main three trying to see Kakashi’s face and the ensuing shenanigans just causes continuous emotional whiplash as we go from a horse pooping to Lee trying to come to terms with whether to take a coin flip on dying. Noelle: In general, I’m enjoying what subjects Lee’s subplot is approaching. He is a genuinely good kid and a character that deserves more, so I wouldn’t object to seeing more of him. However, in contrast to everything else, his portions are much more serious, which makes the plot-points surrounding this dire issue to feel all the more awkward. Don’t juggle two supremely contrasting tones, it never works out well. Carolyn: I agree with Joseph, here. I love Rock Lee and I’m glad he’s back. But he’s been gone a while and it feels sort of out of place. Danni: As much as I love Rock Lee, this whole subplot ain’t doing it for me. It was already extremely reckless of Guy to let Lee go as far in the battle against Gaara as he did, but he’s going even further telling him to have the operation that could easily kill him. Also, I know it won’t, and I feel like everyone watching it knows it won’t, so it feels like empty tension. I would much prefer to see Lee work his way back to the top again.

  When I was younger, I recall the “unmasking Kakashi” episode to be a pretty popular and amusing change of pace. This time around, I’m not so sure it really fits in. Did it work for you? Paul: It didn't work for me at all, partly because of where it falls in the overall storyline, partly because it had a few bizarrely well-crafted animation cuts (which they proceeded to recycle repeatedly), and partly because I have zero desire to see a cartoon horse enthusiastically pooping right in the middle of the camera frame (not once, but twice). The “Let's Unmask Kakashi-sensei!” episode should have come way earlier, i.e. before the Chunin Exams. Joseph: This might have done it for me when it aired back in 2004, but I didn’t have the patience for it this time. My reaction to pretty much all the filler this week has me a little worried about future installments of REWATCH, so I need to steel myself and get ready for the true avalanche! Jared: Not at all. Coming from Rock Lee’s big episode to this was deflating. I was so ready to keep going with that story and then to see this was the next episode killed any momentum I had to keep watching episodes one night. I suppose it sort of works as a way to transition you into a completely different tone, but it isn’t great. Kara: I love gag anime a lot, and I am perfectly happy with funny, goofy episodes, but I just… what? Why. It doesn’t help that I called the punchline ten seconds in. Kevin: I am in the exact same place, and it really doesn’t work now that I’m looking at it with a more critical eye. If it were just silly filler as the Genin try to uncover Kakashi’s face, then it would be harmless fun. Throwing in ninjas from Kakashi’s past didn’t really work, and neither did putting Lee’s subplot between comedy segments. Noelle: As a kid, I really enjoyed this episode. It was funny, and team hijinks are always a good time. At the same point, this is right by Lee’s incredibly heavy episode so—really? You’re putting it right here? This is where filler starts to kick in and yeah, it’s not such a good start to it. Put this episode anywhere else, and it would have worked out okay but just not here. Carolyn: The episode wasn’t totally necessary and the punchline WAS predictable, but I thought Kakashi’s sly, “Pretty cool, huh?” was hilarious. Danni: It was a welcome reprieve from the Lee subplot for me. It definitely felt out of place, though. It would’ve fit in better within the first dozen or so episodes. Regardless, I thought it was pretty funny. After all the angst, it was nice getting to see Sasuke be a bit childish.

  The Land of Tea arc gets started here, and with it we meet the headstrong Idate and resident villain Aoi as Team 7 goes on their escort mission. Idate gets a good chunk of character development here, but do you think it holds up? Paul: While I dig that they're exploring the ninja experience through Idate's trials and tribulations, overall the Land of Tea arc doesn't work for me. It feels like a watered-down version of the Zabuza/Haku arc. There's a similar sense of the powerful tyrannizing the weak, and there are similar questions of whether the ideal state of shinobi should be treacherous or loyal, but we've done this dance before. Joseph: Boy did my eyes glaze over during all of these episodes. I just couldn’t take any of its no-stakes narrative seriously. There’s such a wide gulf between this and the type of scenarios Kishimoto puts together in the manga. Jared: I feel like this arc would have worked better if we weren’t coming off the heels of everyone talking about how chaotic things are in the Leaf village. All of a sudden everything just seems fine. It probably would have worked better if it was just a flashback to something before the Chunin Exams or something instead of trying to be a continuation of what’s been happening. Plus, like Paul said, it felt like a rehash of stories we’d already seen in the very beginning. Kara: I was feeling the rehash myself. It felt very “by committee” (which it probably was, to be fair). A lot of it looked like they checked off which moments in the first 100 episodes people thought were coolest and just tried to reproduce them here. Like… oh, you lost your absolute mind when Lee dropped the weights, so you’ll love it when someone else does, too. Kevin: As a new character with maybe two or three episodes to get his backstory out and start developing, it’s not too bad. The problem is, as we’ve seen with a few people already and we will see with MANY in the future, it’s basically just Naruto’s backstory but as a different character. Having Naruto realize once or twice “oh, this person I have a problem with is basically just going through what I’ve been through” works as a story beat, but it’s repeated way too many times. Noelle: I remember the fillers being very hit or miss, and this reminds me exactly why. I know fillers are just there for padding and don’t actually contribute to the story but man, this is a painful reminder of that. Carolyn: I found it all pretty boring, to be honest. I didn’t think about it at the time, but I have to say that Paul is completely right with the Haku comparison. Danni: Overall it felt like pretty serviceable filler. Much like the unmasking episode, though, it feels pretty out of place in the current narrative. Also, why are they giving B—potentially A—ranked missions to a bunch of Genin without their leader? That seems extremely reckless.

  Part of the Land of Tea story seems to be trying to play on our assumed appreciation for the Chunin Exams, even deciding that the hardboiled Ibiki is actually related to and has a fairly involved history with Idate. They even brought back Team Oboro from the forest! Are you happy with this attempt at connecting this otherwise innocuous story to the rest of the show? Paul: I enjoyed Ibuki demonstrating the ideal qualities of a ninja from the Leaf Village (selflessness, dedication to friends and community, a willingness to correct the mistakes of others, etc.), and I appreciated the additional insight into how the written portion of the Chunin Exam uses psychological warfare to weed out potential candidates who lack those qualities, but I wish the Land of Tea arc felt less like a digression. Joseph: With the exception of a few outliers like Idate, most of the characters here came off like the Hydrox to the usual cast’s Oreo. And yes, I realize Hydrox came first, but who in the world eats ‘em? Jared: Giving these characters a connection to others we’ve seen seems like a way for the show to make you care about them more than if they were just randoms. Bringing back Team Oboro was more like a oh hey those guys and also just a way to not introduce new villains. Idate’s backstory was fine, even if it’s another person that Naruto sees his old self in which has already been a plot point. Kara: Feels like weird fanfic to be honest. Kevin: In general, I quite like trying previous characters and stories into new material, so bringing back the Rain ninjas was actually something I’m completely fine with. I just wish that they actually advanced beyond one-off villains due to having previously lost and thus trained harder, or anything to that effect. Noelle: It’s trying to make us care more about random characters, and I can respect that. If they don’t mess too much with canonical material, they could at least play with characters that don’t matter too much in the long run. It’s semi-functional, but also, I don’t think I would miss it if they didn’t cover it. Carolyn: I have the exact opposite reaction. I hate when a show tries to force random characters on you without making them earn it. Danni: Throwing some already established side characters into the mix at least made it feel a lot less like filler. I think I prefer it to having a weird digression full of original characters we never see or hear from ever again.

  And of course, what were your highs and lows this week? Paul: My low point was Might Guy promising to die along with Rock Lee if the surgery goes poorly. It's largely Guy's fault that his student was so badly injured in the first place, and such a suicide pact seems extremely irresponsible, since Guy still has two other students (and an entire ninja village) depending on him. My high point was Naruto using a combination of his Shadow Clone Jutsu and his Rasengan Jutsu to create an enormous whirlpool. That's the kind of outside-the-box thinking at which Naruto excels, and I enjoy seeing our hero's efforts pay off in creative ways. Joseph: My high point was Rock Lee having the potential to one day live out his ninja dream again. The low point has to be the Land of Tea arc, which I hope ends soon. When it first started I assumed it was a two-parter, but Paul was quick to inform me it runs through—and doesn’t end in—this week’s batch. I’m doomed. Jared: High point was Rock Lee, like usual. Although Sakura just yanking up the mast on the ship and swinging it around ruled. Low point was a lot of the Land of Tea arc. Aoi seems like the worst villain the show has introduced thus far and just feels incredibly boring. Maybe there’s a chance this arc ends on a high note next week? Hopefully? Kara: High point was Tsunade finally sitting herself down, crunching the numbers for Lee, and then her badass pose when she declared herself Hokage. Runner-up is Naruto attempting to parse Konohamaru’s character development: “I thought not wanting to be known as the Hokage’s Grandson was like, your whole deal?” Low point was the Kakashi unmasking episode, with special low point emphasis on the pooping horse. Kevin: High - Probably Lee’s various conversations. As everyone around him wishes him a speedy recovery, he already knows that the only way he’ll recover is with a surgery that is downright likely to kill him, and we see him go through all kinds of pain reliving that fact every time, but not lashing out or explaining the situation to them because he knows that they are just honestly wishing him the best. Low - Everything around Lee’s scenes. I didn’t particularly care for the Moya ninjas subplot, and the Kakashi face reveal thing should have been its own filler episode, instead of being lumped in with such heavy material. As much as it would have been more melancholic than the show’s normal tone, I wish that we had simply gotten an episode or two with Lee as the main character, seeing his current hardships and mental state. Noelle: High point, Rock Lee can get back in the game! I knew that wouldn’t be a permanent thing, but it feels really good to affirm that it won’t be. Lee deserves to live out his dreams, for sure! Low point, filler. I’d like to say this filler works out for me but it really, really doesn’t. Carolyn: Yeah, me too, high point as always is the return of Rock Lee. Low point is probably the Land of Tea arc. I was not interested in it at all. Danni: Low point is Guy’s weird promise to kill himself if Lee dies. The high point for me was when I watched the new opening and gasped as soon as I figured out what I think it’s saying about an upcoming Sasuke development.

    Counters:

Bowls of Ramen: 1 bowl (4 times, but counting it as one) "I'm Gonna be Hokage!": 4 Shadow Clones Created: 26

  Total so far: Bowls of Ramen: 36 bowls, 3 cups "I'm Gonna be Hokage!": 52 Shadow Clones Created: 340

And that's everything for this week! Remember that you're always welcome to join us for this rewatch, especially if you haven't watched the original Naruto! Watch Naruto today!

  Here's our upcoming schedule:

- May 3rd features PAUL CHAPMAN, who will walk us through the inevitable Naruto vs Sasuke in episodes 106-112.

- May 10th, JOSEPH LUSTER will give us the deets on the Sound Four.

- May 17th we'll visit the Valley of the End with JARED CLEMONS.

  CATCH UP ON THE REWATCH!

Episodes 92-98: Clash of the Sannin

Episodes 85-91: A Life-Changing Decision

Episodes 78-84: The Fall of a Legend

Episodes 71-77: Sands of Sorrow

Episodes 64-70: Crashing the Chunin Exam

Episodes 57-63: Family Feud

Episodes 50-56: Rock Lee Rally

Episodes 43-49: The Gate

Episodes 36-42: Through the Woods

Episodes 29-35: Sakura Unleashed

Episodes 22-28: Chunin Exams Kickoff

Episodes 15-21: Leaving the Land of Waves

Episodes 8-14: Beginners' Battle

Episodes 1-7: I'm Gonna Be the Hokage!

Thank you for joining us for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! Have a great weekend, and we'll see you all next time!

Have anything to say about our thoughts on Episodes 99-105? Let us know in the comments! Don't forget, we're also accepting questions and comments for next week, so don't be shy and feel free to ask away!

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If you like talking about sports anime and gratuitous fanart retweets, following David @navycherub wouldn't be the worst decision you make today.

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

[oxfordeliterp]

CONGRATULATIONS, BETH!

You have been accepted to play the role of LUCAS LOCKWOOD with the faceclaim of SEAN TEALE. Please create your account and send it to the main in the next 24 hours. I didn’t have to finish the application to be sold, but I finished it three times and, at every reading, I found something new to love. It’s a complex one, underlining not the surface of Lucas, but what’s inside his heart and after reading everything you have chosen to fill this application with, I can honestly say that I trust you wholly with this character, for you have already made him yours. You understand Lucas on so many different layers that I couldn’t imagine anybody else even trying to play him. Are you sure you haven’t written the biography yourself? I have seen your magic in this application tonight, but what I am truly enthusiastic about is the actual roleplaying with you.

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

Name and pronouns: Beth and She/Her

Age: 25

Time-zone: EST

Activity level: I work full time on a shifting schedule, I’m the main admin and currently only admin in another RP where I have eight characters, and I try to maintain at least a weak social life so I don’t want to promise anything I can’t live up to, so I cannot promise rapid fire replies all day every day I have free time, but I intend to do replies at some point every day, and truly believe I can manage and if anything it will be easier to slip in replies for a roleplay where I only have one character and where doing replies doesn’t trigger questions and hurt feelings over why I have not done more replies. I could end up not as available as I think, every other day or so instead of every day, but I am dedicated and I have no intention of just appearing only to stay off activity check or anything of that nature. Furthermore, I vow to reply with thought and substance, fully present when I am present—but now I’ll stop before I go on and make those promises I can’t keep. Alternatively, I could just write in this section: Bitch, you know how I roll

Triggers: I can’t think of anything I react strongly enough to for it to be considered truly triggering. We all have stuff that we are less comfortable with or don’t like, but for me there’s nothing that would cause any reaction stronger than to possibly skip reading the rest of the post if I’m not involved that I can think of right now, and nothing I believe I couldn’t handle being involved in especially as most traumatic plots would have to be cleared in advance and I’d have a chance to access my comfortability (ie rape or my character discovering the body of a friend who committed suicide), but I will let you know if something arises and tag anything in the triggers tag.

IN CHARACTER INFORMATION

Desired character: Lucas Lockwood. Several areas of his background struck with me. It’s always a balance of finding a character that you can put a piece of your soul into as a way to bring them to life but not making them your physical skin to a point where it is both boring to play albeit easy to know how they will react or dangerous that you may take things said/done to or about the character too personally. Lucas, truly, is very far from me—though those are the aspects I am drawn to too and can’t wait to explore, the Casanova spirit, the tough callouses grown on the path to “cool” and enviable paragon, the fake relationship with strong frames supporting rotting guts and the mindset of what would possess one of the ten men who could have anything to persist in that arrangement when the Casanova is limiting who he can charm into his arms and bed and how openly  and the boy who for  loves love deep at heart is settling for a lack, the sexual tension with the stepsister, and the evolution to careless rich boy—but his history spoke to me until I saw him as a kindred spirit talking to me about shared experiences. I was older than Lucas was when he lost his mother, but I know that pain and the further hell of seeing a parent shattered for years and being what feels like their caregiver when they still should have been caring for you, and to have that be what feels like the expectation, damaging words of “take care of your [for me it was my mother left]”  or “you can’t be a child from now on” feeling like orders not just sentiments with some of them regretful. I’ve seen my remaining parent leave a job and collapse in—though I will defend that my mother didn’t do so to the extents I may hypothesize Mr. Lockwood did– and heard them talk about love so strong they now know why in some traditions wives throw themselves on their husband’s funeral pyres, making me wonder why love for a child wasn’t enough to live but then having the weight fall that parental love and obligation was the only thing keeping them on the earth. I’ve worn clothes until they literally fall apart and learned to cook from free food pantry items, and I’ve also experienced the recovery as life does go on and get better eventually, though there was no marrying rich or even new love besides finding new love for living and new jobs in my family’s story. My mother calls even the idea of finding someone new to love an abomination in the face of true love thirteen years after my father died and talks about him all the time,  selling the idea of consuming love and soulmates until it becomes as terrifying as it is enchanting to hear of how life shapingly wonderful being in love is and you don’t know whether to run to or run away which are conversations I am sure Lucas and his father had. I know how deliriously, desperately happy and hopeful I would be if my mother did fall in love again, the way my knees would bruise with the speed and fervency I would drop to my knees to pray it lasts, and the lengths I would go to making sure nothing interferes while trying not to show how much it means and scare the budding love away, so it is all too easy to see Lucas’s mind on the new marriage. Those are the heavy aspects and those of what first ties me to the character over the other riot Club members, but, at the core I desire Luca because I do love the easy-breezy and charming aspects and I plan on having a lot of fun with our rioting rich boys and the inter-club war. Also, come on, I saw apps for Lauren and Cordelia and there’s a good starting place.

Gender and pronouns of the character: Male, he/him

Changes: As discussed, I would like to change the faceclaim to Sean Teale.  I can think of no other changes at this time as it was already established we had the same ideas about areas of his backstory that were left more open (ie what age he was when his mother died), not that I believe I would have changed those anyway instead of adapting. Anything else that diverts from the bio would be unintentional, personal interpretation, or character growth over time and if something strikes you as off and wasn’t cleared beforehand you can approach and reproach me as it really would be misunderstanding more than likely.

Traits:

For someone with humble beginnings, Lucas lacks the social consciousness or sense of social responsibility one might expect –to a degree at least. He may furrow his brow occasionally and discuss heavy world issues with intelligence, but only until the next opportunity to change the subject comes up. Problems bore and choke him and he’s gagged enough on dust. He will fold his biggest bill and put it in a busker’s container or the homeless man’s cup with compassion but these are the same close to empty gestures of anyone with periodic guilt for having when there are have-nots and he’ll join the jeering too if anyone says they are where they are only through fault of their own, without correcting that it’s often more complicated. He not only doesn’t read evil intent into casual comments such as assumptions he’s good at football, but would defend there would be nothing wrong in it if these were in fact based in the shade of his skin rather than the facts that he has a footballers’ build and stance and is known to be athletic and competitive, or that he made a comment about playing in lower school one time. Not everything is racist, or everything is and it’s too exhausting to pay attention to all of it and not worth it if it’s not harmful. Nobody’s calling him any slurs, or the one time they did it seemed affectionate (And it was the wrong one, which made it funnier instead of more offensive, assuming his mother had been Sicilian not Spanish with family  roots in…he isn’t even sure where. Someplace tropical, but God forsaken and constantly destroyed by hurricanes instead of fashionable, he’d say, getting the vibe part right and part very wrong and terribly offensive to any kin he could have tracked down on that side). He fired back just as quickly with a term of his own that could have gotten him in serious trouble in school, beaten up, or professionally blacklisted if said in the wrong setting to the wrong person, because he was lacking filter and sensitivity that day, but it was just jokes, just how the boys talk—and he loves his boys more than his own life that he’d dispose for any of them not realizing that claiming and feeling so he’s fallen into the love trap just like any romantic even if it’s a different genus of love.

It’s just like they can call each other every slang or synonym for homosexual in the book as insult with only the oversensitive in his estimation calling it hate speak, though they hardly do call each other that way anymore when it’s an outdated fashion. It’s more designer edgy—again, his estimation and his personality that all is aesthetic–to embrace yourself and your peers as any identity but straight and to wave your hands vaguely, spreading the smoke from your lit cigarette you openly mock as phallic as if anyone thinks Freud is more than a joke anymore as you slouch and sit with legs spread because careless is a fashion too, and talk about how you don’t see gender really and sexuality is a spectrum (as you, and only you out of millions who have said the exact same thing) understand truly. You say you don’t like to label or limit yourself and make eye contact with either the prettiest thing in the room or the one you want to exert dominance over because, gay, straight, pan, bi, demi, or any other either of you might be, if they look away first you’ve gained power. It’s a game. Lucas takes everything that makes up behavior lightly as a game that he’s childishly pleased to have learned all the rules of young—not that he shows how pleased, cool cucumber he must play.

Lucas is close to truly soulless, not mourning the morals he doesn’t adhere to like Nicholas secretly does, and not aware that he is miserable, self-hating, or even much miserable at all like Miles seems to be. He is content with what he’s sold, even content in not feeling the warmth of falling in love except in tastes that last for hours or nights or linger in generalities of finding everyone has something lovable. He’s a light spirit and adaptable in the extreme to the point he would seem weak willed and desperate to fit any mold to be liked if he were less shining and a touch more pathetic. He doesn’t see it as selling out or hiding a “real him” but that he’s gone and found his days in the sun and is enjoying them just as his father went and found new life.

I have hardly gone into the traits that make him up, though I’ve touched on some that weren’t borrowed explicitly from the bio to give you a better idea that I am immersing in and creating a character that is truly mine instead of just parroting. This was supposed to just be a beginning but I have talked too long (as I could truly talk about Lucas all day) and I will spare you further reading unless you want me to return to this section.

Extras:

First off, Lucas’s major course.  I would have him go for a MEng in Engineering Science, which may seem weight-y and cerebral for Lucas, but I feel like it is befitting for:

Someone who grew up in thin times where handymen and other technicians like plumbers and electricians couldn’t be afforded and would be trying to fix things as they broke, far beyond his usual expected level sometimes as a child, and tinker until they worked—even if his father when he could be stirred did most of it and Lucas was just observing. You spend enough time trying to look at everything and figure out how it goes together and comes apart and how to keep it working, and you either get frustrated and resentful or develop talents and fascinations

Engineers are both respected and always in demand, and Lucas wants to be secure in life even if he one day never sees a dime of the McQueen money that is now the merged family bankroll. He doesn’t have the obsession with a certain style of life that Nicholas does. He could give up the designers that he only memorizes to fit in and because they mean something to others (and, on the other hand, only feigns ignorance of sometimes to bait Cordelia or make her eyes widen). He could leave opulent houses and once in a lifetime vacations that happen multiple times a year. He doesn’t need fine food and drink, but he does need to know there will always be a full table, a roof, and clothes on back no matter what fate throws, and he’ll develop talents that aren’t easy to learn and study advanced maths few want to approach to make himself indispensable even if he’s gone from top to middle of the class as to truly excel at his chosen course it requires dedication he has in spirit but not always in practice as there are so many things to commit time to instead of living in a mechanics or robotics lab or scribbling in a notebook or entering equations in a laptop every waking moment.

For a more fun and light extra, I made a text post meme post—on a blog not related to this RP because , though I know mock blogs are a thing, my own superstition is it’s tempting fate to make a character blog in advance unless instructed to. I could defend every quote I chose if asked, including why “having no fucks left to give” and “I cannot stop caring” are not as contradictory as they would seem at first brush, but, as you wrote the character, I am sure you can see where I drew influences from and if I am taking away the right bits.

http://the-dark-marks.tumblr.com/private/160156220833/tumblr_op8d47IkaB1ttdq0w

Headcanons and other extras will come through the days that come if I am to be accepted. Everything from here on out is an “extra” technically as we get chances to prove we can take the characters beyond the bios and add layers.

PARA SAMPLE

Lucas had taught himself to tie a tie from a youtube video in his room at eleven when some friend’s concerned parents compelled him into going to church services with them, pulling the trick by making it into a gateway to a whole day of plan, the family in question always having some adventure planned that they left for via a Sunday drive tradition straight  from church. He knew it was all part trick, no reason they couldn’t double back and pick him up after services as he stood waiting in street clothes and they too had a chance to go home and change instead of awkwardly packing extra outfits if warranted and changing in the church bathroom.  He didn’t even mind. They weren’t even trying to “save” him. They just thought he needed “proper influences” in his life like they could see through the windows of his house, though Mr. Lockwood could put on a face of the best of them and act the dear and doting, constantly cheerful jokester matured into cool dad that still had boundaries even though it took more to get to them that Lucas remembered from his early childhood. He slayed at parent and teacher nights.

So Lucas learned to tie a tie, the same tie that went with the same dusty and too short in the arms and legs by then suit he’d worn to his mother’s funeral a few years before, because he didn’t know how fancy this church was and he didn’t own a button down that wasn’t short sleeves anyway at the time and it was winter, so suit with suit jacket it was. He couldn’t ask his father that day, not only because he didn’t know how to explain that he had nothing else to wear and not make his father feel guilty if he laughed at the suit and asked the question the one who bought the clothes they both dressed in should already know the answer to. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to answer why he was going to church in monkey clothes (Ah, how funny to think how many times a year the Lockwood patriarch would be wearing true monkey suits to lofty events, parading tuxedos with pride and beaming over cufflinks in not too many years, though the beaming was for who had bought him the cufflinks and helped him pick the suit) just for the sake of a day on the pier and the beach after, why the other family wanted to drag him about so, when it was because they thought Lucas would be better imitating any of the upstanding kind of men you met in such a building or absorbing some good advice from scripture rather than listening to his father. It was because it was almost the anniversary of when his mother died again and Dad was locked in his room the past two days listening to their song.

He’d done a not bad job on the tie, but his father had caught him on his way out and, after a confused look  that read startled to even see him in the house and not remembering that it wasn’t yesterday Lucas’ friend’s family was picking him up and today they were returning him much less that there was something planned that needed a suit, and following this with an obvious reassembling of expression that said he was going to pretend to be all knowing so he didn’t look like a bad father,  adjusted it for him, giving him advice on how to make a straighter, surer not and have the tie lay better next time.

Practice and fatherly advice and Lucas got quite good at ties over the years. He added more and more styles of knotting  to his repertoire over the years as he added more ties of finer materials and had more occasion to wear them,  though he faltered on purpose at the first few events with the McQueens to feel that motherly touch of his father’s new wife that fulfilled a craving he’d shut himself off from having almost ten years before meeting her or to smirk at Cordelia and gaze into her eyes trying to decide whether it was amusement or disdain in them as she rebuked his uselessness and he felt her fingers dancing around his collar. Oxford and his mates taught him yet more and what styles suited what, well, suits and days until he could have written his own books on customs and etiquette just related to the silly bits of silk, and the only time now he felt at loss was when the question became what tie to wear in what style to Elizabeth Pemberly’s funeral and how to not make it feel like his own noose when he gazed on another coffin.

#lucas lockwood #accepted