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#tw: suicide
apolladay · 1 day
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Please check on the people in your life. Tell them you love them. Tell them you care. Tell them they matter. Tell them they are not alone.
And if you are struggling, please I beg you to reach out to someone, anyone and ask for help. You are loved. You are cared about. You matter. You are not alone. Life can get better.
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These are Canadian numbers, so please if you reblog this, add the helpline numbers for your country. It may be seen at just the right time by someone who needs it. If you reblog nothing else from me, please reblog this one.
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dreametheworld · 1 year
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the look of pure rage on joel’s face when henry prevents him from going to help ellie as she is being attacked... pedro pascal you fucking asshole. the look on henry’s face as he realizes what he has done... the way he says “sam”... lamar johnson you fucking king. the little scream ellie does when henry shoots himself... bella ramsay you fucking angel. THAT scene was brutal.
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why-i-love-comics · 3 months
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DC's 'Twas the 'Mite Before Christmas #1 - "Streaks in the Sky" (2023)
written by Michael W. Conrad art by Gavin Guidry & Ryan Cody
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neil-gaiman · 9 months
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Hi Neil,
A recent ask has prompted me to ask, given my father also hanged himself and left me with a raging case of PTSD: would you be willing to please tag any suicide-related asks with a tw: suicide? I would appreciate it. (Answer not necessary, and if you can't or don't want to, I understand.)
I'll do my best. I cannot promise I'll remember every time, or even spot it every time.
Also, for people who are triggered, episode 3 of Good Omens Season 2 has a threatened (but foiled) suicide attempt, and a mention of a long-ago suicide.
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jessamine-rose · 9 months
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꒰ The Spider and the Fly ꒱
This is for my hormones every artist/ writer who dragged me into the Miguel O’Hara fandom. Your content is absolutely amazing, and I hope this piece can measure up to the brainrot you’ve given me  ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝
Tw:: YANDERE, kidnapping, manipulation, blood, violence, self-deprecation, mention of suicide, bondage, noncon, nsfw, MDNI
Note:: Female reader, double POV, ATSV spoilers, Best Wingman Award goes to LYLA
♡ 7.6k words under the cut ♡
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i. spiral orb web
You’ve always been attracted to pretty things, and that includes spiderwebs.
In your eyes, the spider’s craft is the closest thing to art in your everyday life. It is a natural phenomenon marked by intricacy and utility, yet one so easily overlooked due to its associations with pest behavior.
Fortunately, public reception has shifted since the emergence of Spider-Man. It is thanks to your “Friendly Neighborhood Hero” that the spiderweb has been rebranded as a symbol of safety. Be it a weapon or a life-sized shelter, there is a certain beauty to those human creations.
Though the same cannot be said for Miguel O’Hara’s.
Spider-Man 2099’s webs belong to their own category. His are scarlet, bright as lasers, conspicuous and dangerous in equal amounts. When Miguel traps a villain in his webs, one is reminded that a spiderweb is the tool of a predator.
Miguel’s webs are not the only thing which set him apart from the other Spider-Men. He has more inhuman powers—claws, fangs, paralytic venom. His jaded personality and intimidating stature are also far removed from the public image which inspires hope in civilians.
Perhaps that is why you find him all the more alluring. Or it could be simply because he is the one who saved your life.
He’s done more than rescue you. After catching you midfall, Miguel regards you with shock and…pity, you think. It is the only logical explanation as to why he is being so gentle with you when your dimension’s stability is a greater concern.
It also explains why he allows you to follow him into the departing portal. No, follow is a self-preserving term. More like burst into tears, ran after him, then told him your pathetic life story and how anywhere is better than here.
Much to the surprise of his coworkers, he relents.
꒰♡꒱
At first, Miguel thinks you are an Anomaly.
It is one thing to find you in another dimension. It has happened before, and he always avoided your Variants for their sake. But you are inescapable.
Among every version of you, the happiest one was his Variant’s wife. Then there’s you, the one whose life would’ve ended if not for his interference.
He tries to justify his decision. Your departure doesn’t affect the Canon, so no harm will come to your universe. And judging by your personal data, you would be much safer in a different dimension.
His dimension, to be specific. Where he can keep a close eye on you.
He is also logical enough to recognize you as your own person. You aren’t his wife, and his observations support that theory. Your hairstyle is different. You code-switch more often. You sleep and wake up at earlier hours. You’re not as confident in your abilities.
You are alike and unlike her in so many ways, yet he still sees a spark of his sun in you.
ii. funnel web
Since then, you’ve resided in Nueva York.
In return for permanent residency, you are hired as a secretary for the Spider Society. It’s civilian work, nothing dangerous, but more purposeful than what you’d ever achieved in your old job.
Strangely enough, you encounter Miguel quite often.
At first, it feels totally warranted. He is the only person you know in Earth-928, so he guides you through every step of your adjustment. He gives you a Dimensional Travel Watch, shows you around the facility, and instructs you on how not to mess up the multiverse.
After your first week, he invites you to move in with him. Miguel claims that his home already has an extra bedroom, though LYLA’s remarks suggest otherwise. Regardless, you accept since it means a familiar roommate and better living quarters.
How thoughtful of him.
꒰♡꒱
“It’s easier to look after her if we’re under the same roof,” he rationalizes.
“Sure,” says LYLA. She flickers above his shoulder and watches the holographic screens with him. “And it’s not because she reminds you of a certain someone?”
Ignoring her, Miguel switches to a different camera angle. Peter B. Parker walks past your desk and does a double take, and he is promptly summoned for a meeting.
No doubt, there will be questions about you.
“What about the redesigns?” LYLA pulls up a screen showing two bedroom layouts, one collapsed and the other abandoned. “Should we pick one? Merge them? Think of a new design? Or we can ask for her input, seeing how she clearly has better taste than you.”
One of the monitors catches their attention, announcing an Anomaly in Earth-131222.
“We can talk about this later.” With that, Miguel opens a new screen and analyzes the data. On second thought, he adds, “She prefers thin bed sheets.”
-
Later that day, he escorts you home. Your mood has greatly improved since your change in environment, though you’re still quiet around him. LYLA compliments your coat, a purple remnant of her closet which Miguel lent to you, but he ignores her knowing glances.
You wear it differently, he notices. It’s the same article of clothing, but fully buttoned with a silver brooch on one lapel. The effect is significantly less casual.
“So, this is it.” Your expression turns hesitant as Miguel unlocks the front door. “Are you really sure that I can stay here?”
“I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t a hundred percent sure,” he points out.
And it means less time monitoring the CCTVs.
“And you haven’t seen your room yet!” adds LYLA. “We know you’ll love it.”
“I guess it would be impolite to back out now.” You follow him inside and remove your coat. “I’ll try not to be a nuisance.”
He pauses.
That green dress…he could swear that he’s seen it on you before. Many shades lighter, paired with a bright smile, to match the T-shirt of the little girl by your—
“Miguel?” You frown at him, then your gaze flits to your dress. “Is there something wrong with my outfit? I didn’t commit a serious fashion crime in your dimension, did I?”
“It’s nothing,” he says quickly. But upon noticing your lingering anxiety, he admits, “You look good in it. That’s all.”
You nearly drop your coat. “W-What? Are you serious?”
Miguel could swear that you look more shocked than during your first meeting. If he were to come close enough to touch your face, it would surely feel warmer than average.
That’s enough.
“I meant what I said,” he replies, walking ahead. “Do you want to look around or are you just going to stand there?”
That snaps you out of your fluster. You follow him into the living room, a small smile making its way to your face. “The living room is pretty. Was it you or LYLA who designed it?”
The change of topic is a godsend. As Miguel shows you around, you recover from his comment and focus on your surroundings. LYLA is the next to admire your dress, winking at Miguel as she asks about the color, and he takes note of your reaction.
More vulnerable to flattery, regardless of speaker. Extremely happy afterwards.
His wife wasn’t like that. Usually, she’d be the one teasing Miguel with praises, pick-up lines, and inside jokes which he pretended to understand.
Still, it’s nostalgic to sit next to you on the sofa. He could get used to this again.
iii. lace web
In the following months, you fully adjust to your new life.
Your job in the Spider Society is manageable, fun even. Aside from the Spider-Man of your dimension, your close coworkers are kind enough to welcome you into their group. They look out for you, include you in their conversations, and appreciate your hard work.
They even indulge your aesthetic interests! One word from you, and they are already comparing webs. Among the various designs and techniques, however, none have fascinated you as much as Miguel’s.
…You do wish he’d let you roam Nueva York more often.
In case of Canon events, you need to get his permission first. Then you have to wait for him or an assigned Spider-Man to accompany you, and the latter is always a stranger whom you find difficult to bond with. Conversations with LYLA can only do so much.
You’ve recommended your coworkers before, but Miguel doubts their reliability. And every time you invite them to go with you, a new mission cancels your plans. If not for the official records, you’d suspect them of making excuses.
It’s a bit frustrating, honestly, but you know better than to complain.
You should already be satisfied with Miguel. He is an agreeable roommate, he trusts your capabilities, and he acknowledges your efforts. And no matter how closed-off or overworked he is, he's still deemed you worthy of his company.
…He is also very nice to look at. Muscular physique, handsome face, a serious gaze occasionally tinted in red. It’s a shame that he rarely smiles.
In another dimension, a better version of you would have definitely pursued him.
꒰♡꒱
“...and get this, he can shoot webs with stabilimenta. The designs are so detailed!”
“Oh, wow.” Miguel barely looks up from the monitors, grimacing at yet another Anomaly. He quickly sends an alert to the dimension’s Spider-Man. “What else?”
Behind him, you suddenly grow quiet.
“Now that I think about it, you must already know that since you recruited him. Sorry if that wasn’t anything worth listening to…are you sure I’m not bothering you?”
“You’re not.” It comes out faster than intended.
He turns around. Once again, you look surprised by his words, but you don’t ask for confirmation this time. You just nod and return to your digital reports.
Why did you visit his laboratory again? You said it was a false alarm from LYLA, who’d likely sent it on purpose. Lately, she’s been on his case about how rude it is to “avoid” you through extra work. He thinks he could easily do without distractions or triggered memories, however.
Miguel opens a private file and thinks of what you’d just told him. Apart from concerned looks from Jess and Peter B, most of the Spider-Men haven’t given you any trouble. Your coworkers, however, are a different matter.
-
23) ______ laughed because of some stupid pickup line from Web-Slinger. Smiled when he complimented her outfit (purple blouse, black high-waist skirt, favorite heels, pearl hairpin).
24) ______ talked about the other agents’ webs again.* She admires stabilimenta.
-
“You should be careful with your friends,” he tells you. He types a few more observations and closes the screen. “The last thing I need is for you to get involved in their mess. Don’t think that I can’t see them slacking on the job.”
To your credit, you don’t apologize. “Noted.”
“Miguel!” LYLA appears and moves the screens around him. “We have an Anomaly in Earth-332. Spider-Woman called for backup.”
Great, another one. It must be a persistent villain if Jess needs his help.
“I’m on it.” He types the coordinates on his watch and activates the portal.
“How dangerous is it?”
He stops, just a few meters short of leaving.
You leave your desk, an anxious look on your face. “I know you told me not to worry before, but I really have no idea of what your battles are like. So…will you be all right?”
“I’ll be fine,” he assures you. A hug comes to mind—it always calmed her anxieties—but he instead gives you a shoulder pat. “Don’t wait for me. If it takes a while, LYLA will call someone to escort you home.”
“Okay.” You’re still standing in front of him, but he can feel the tension leaving your body. “It’s my turn to cook dinner tonight, right? I’ll prepare a nice victory feast so look forward to that.”
A few more seconds wouldn’t hurt. “You don’t have to.”
You pout at him. “But I want to. Besides, it’s not fair that you are so good at making my favorite meals. I still haven’t perfected yours.”
Secretly, Miguel thinks your cooking tastes better than his wife’s. But whatever keeps you distracted while he is saving the multiverse.
It’s also…nice to talk about work with you. With her, he had to act normal and make up excuses for his sudden disappearances. It’s refreshing to see your concern and know that you are praying for his safety. To imagine your relieved smile when he comes home.
“Miguel!” LYLA reappears between the two of you. “I hate to ruin the moment, but Spider-Woman could really use some help right now. I know you’re counting the seconds!”
No more time to waste.
“I’ll see you later.” He lets go of you and walks into the portal.
“Take care!” you call after him.
iv. triangle web
“Welcome home, love!”
As the door opened, Miguel resisted the urge to flinch. The lights were always too bright.
His Variant’s wife wasted no time hugging him. “What took you so long?”
“Something at work came up,” he explained, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“Again?” You closed the door behind him, a frown replacing your smile. “That’s the third time this month. Is there a problem in your office?”
“It’s…classified information. But nothing to worry about, mi sol.”
The house felt lively, even with Gabriella temporarily away. Warm lights. Family photos. Personal belongings scattered about. Your cheerful presence leading him.
The TV in the living room was on, paused at the beginning of a new film. Movie nights were an old family routine, he’d learned. The first time Miguel arrived in your husband’s place, you and Gabriella had agreed on an animated classic.
“Okay then. I’m just glad your office isn’t in the same area as that crime from earlier. Was there any debris blocking the road?”
“Not much.” And definitely none on the route to your workplace.
Upstairs, Miguel took a shower and contacted LYLA. The Anomaly had been returned to its original dimension. If he were lucky, none would appear tomorrow.
You were on the sofa when he came back. Wordlessly, he sat next to you and you rested your head on his shoulder. The film began playing.
“I called Gabriella,” you murmured. “She and her friends are already planning their next sleepover. I’ll pick her up tomorrow morning.”
“That’s good to hear. Have you gift-wrapped her present?”
A pearl ring glinted above your intertwined hands. “It’s in my closet.”
Note to self: Ask LYLA to record the party. It will be a nice memory to revisit.
He smiled at you. “I can’t wait to see her reaction.”
The movie had a happy ending. It was, in your words, a cinematic masterpiece.
-
“That’s how it ends?”
Your outburst prompts Miguel to face the opposite end of the sofa. In the dim light, he can easily make out the unimpressed look on your face.
“The ending looks decent to me,” he muses. “If you ignore the logistics of their reunion, the film is entertaining enough to rewatch.”
“I think it could be more realistic. And you’re saying that across the multiverse, this is the most common version of the movie?”
“In five dimensions, to be exact. Others have the same ending but different actors.”
You pause. “I’ll admit that Earth-928’s version has superior costume design. But I still prefer my dimension’s neutral ending. Maybe it’s because our societal values are different.”
The closing credits continue, but neither of you leave the sofa. You’re still criticizing the film under your breath, unaware that Miguel can understand every word. He does agree that the happy ending causes a few plot holes.
At least with you, he can adjust the brightness levels.
“We can watch your version next time,” he offers, reaching for the remote with his webs.
“Really? You don’t mind?”
He turns off the TV. “We can do it on my next day off.”
Knowing LYLA, this won’t be the last time she plans a movie night without telling him.
“Well, what else could I do?” she asked after he privately demanded an explanation. “You’ve been working yourself too hard, Miguel. You could really use a break, and so does ______.”
You take the remote from him and untangle the web fluid. “Do you mind if I keep this?”
Miguel gives you an odd look. “For what reason?”
You twist the web in your hands, forming string figures.
“As a decoration, maybe. Oh, and for the record, I don’t go around collecting webs from your coworkers. I just find yours particularly interesting.”
Weirdo. “My webs are functional like the others’. That’s all there is to it.”
You look him in the eye this time. “Hey, you should give yourself more credit. It’s my belief that every spiderweb is a work of art. And before you call me overly romantic, there have always been artists who thought they were worth noticing."
The web loops around your ring finger, in the place where her wedding ring used to be.
He averts his gaze. “I don’t see it that way. But whatever works for you.”
Another moment of silence.
“There is another reason,” you add softly.
He side-eyes you. “Is it about that day? You don’t need to keep thanking me for saving your life. As I said, I was doing my job and anyone would’ve done the same.”
“I wasn’t talking about you catching me.”
Oh, you meant that.
The web tangles in your hands.
“Listen.” You take a deep breath, eyes on your lap. “I know you’ve been avoiding this subject. Maybe it's so I don’t feel indebted to you or pressured into reliving bad memories. But…I just want you to know that I’m glad you foiled my plans.”
…It would be best to let you finish first.
Your voice shakes. “I mean, you’re smart, aren’t you? Even without my meltdown, you would’ve figured out that my fall had nothing to do with the Anomaly in my dimension.”
He did. And that was precisely why Miguel mistook you for one at first. It wasn’t just your identity but the fact that you were found in danger after the Anomaly had been captured.
Ten minutes post-battle. The undamaged state of the nearby buildings. The passive acceptance in your demeanor.
He can vividly recall the rest of that day. Those hours spent studying your personal data, identifying every action and condition which diverged from his wife's path.
A loud sigh. “I just—I couldn’t take it anymore, okay? I thought it would be easier to put an end to my mistakes, then you had to show up. And thanks to you, life has been great! I like this world, I’m not alone, I still have my personal issues to work through but I’m trying to do better. But yeah…I’m just sorry for forcing you to get involved.”
“It’s not your fault,” he insists. He scoots closer to you and puts his hand on top of yours. “I made the choice to bring you here. And I couldn’t exactly leave you, knowing your situation.”
That is a lie. Rather, half of his thoughts were about his wife and how he’d been able to sustain her happiness. How that farce proved he could do the same for you.
“Either way, I’m grateful.” You look up, your lips curving into a shy smile. “I’m really happy now, Miguel. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I’ll never regret my decision to follow a cryptic stranger into a portal. Even if it meant learning that the multiverse is in constant danger. Or that my favorite film has an alternate ending which makes no sense to me whatsoever.”
Has his wife ever looked at him like that? There is a soft brilliance to your gaze, wholly reserved for him. It triggers a warm feeling in his chest.
The moment is quickly ended when you cover your face with a cushion.
“Anyway! If you don’t mind, I’d really love to move on and talk about something else. How was your mission earlier? Is Earth-199999 still giving you a hard time?”
You’re still seated next to him, legs touching. Your tone leaves no room for objection.
He lets go of your hand. “You would not believe what kind of shocking messes we’ve had to deal with. We are never recruiting Dr. Strange or his little nerd.”
“You can tell me all about it.” You untangle his web from your hands; it loops around your pinky finger this time. “I’m here for you, okay? For as long as you’ll have me.”
v. mesh web
There have been more Anomalies lately.
You walk past the detained villains, silently counting them. Their increase in numbers has kept the Spider Society on high alert for the past weeks. While it means more documents for you, the effect on Miguel’s stress levels is concerning.
Come to think of it, has he returned from his mission yet? If not, you hope the cafeteria’s takeout boxes have a self-heating function. As you get closer to Miguel's laboratory, you hear the door open. The sound is followed by two sets of footsteps.
“Do you think it’s healthy for him?”
“I’m more worried about ______.”
You stop walking.
Is that Peter B and Jess? Why are they talking about you?
Jess’s tone is reproachful. “The poor girl has been through so much already. It’s not safe for her to be here, at least in HQ. He knows that she is a different case from Gwen.”
“You know how Miguel is. I’ve already asked about her, and he won’t tell me anything new. Not even my Super Adorable Mayday album could convince him.”
“I don’t like this, Peter.”
Their footsteps become louder. You go back to the entrance of the hallway, just within earshot but hopefully far enough to evade their Spider-Senses.
“Neither do I. But you should’ve seen him when he lost their daughter, Jess. Now think of his wife: He never got to see ______ before she disintegrated. Then one day, out of nowhere, after staying away from countless Variants, he finds a version of her who needs him.”
…What the hell are they talking about?
The walls close in on you. You take a step back, followed by another.
Then, at the sound of a sharp “Is someone there?”, you drop the takeout box and run.
Their daughter. His wife. A version of her.
You already know that Miguel lost a family in another dimension. It was briefly mentioned when he warned you about Canon disruptions, but he refused to share the details. Is this why?
This whole time…you are a Variant of his wife?
You aren’t followed. Your coworkers cheerfully greet you, but you ignore them and return to your desk. It’s arranged the way you like it, complete with personal decorations. The drawer holds a stress ball in your favorite color, a gift from Miguel of all people.
You never did tell him that it is your go-to stress reliever. Was it the same for her?
You squeeze the ball and take deep breaths, but the action does little to calm you.
It all makes sense. Why else would Miguel take an interest in you?
Your gaze lands on your Dimensional Travel Watch before you remember that the idea is futile. Yours is only a modified version which prevents glitches but can’t be used for travel. And the Go-Home Machine would require Spider-Byte’s help.
…Why are you even wasting your time on an escape plan? How are you sure that you won’t mess up and make another mistake?
“______?” LYLA appears in front of your face. Her greeting sounds different.
He knows.
You force yourself to answer. “Y-Yes?”
“Miguel is back.” She flickers as usual, but it doesn’t change the nervous look on her face. “He wants to see you.”
꒰♡꒱
Peter B will be dead when he gets to him.
Several screens surround Miguel, each playing CCTV footage. He focuses on a live recording of you on your way to his laboratory.
At least you are complying with his orders.
The platform is fully lowered by the time you get there.
“Hey…welcome back,” you stammer. “How was the mission?”
“It was fine,” he replies brusquely. “Jess and Peter B spoke with me as soon as I came back. I was just confirming the status of Earth-67 when I checked the CCTVs. Care to explain?”
A heavy silence falls between the two of you. LYLA is nowhere to be seen.
Your panic is evident. Your gaze wanders, at everything but Miguel, until it stops at the dented takeout box on his desk. “Is that…is the food still warm? Or have you already eaten in Earth-67? I forgot to ask in advance.”
He glares at you. “Are you seriously worrying about my lunch right now?”
“Well, what else am I supposed to say?” you shoot back. The anger in your tone is unmistakable. “‘Hey, Miguel, when was I supposed to know that we were a family in the dimension you accidentally collapsed?’ Does that sound any better?!”
“Believe me, I was going to leave you alone at first.” He grips the edge of his desk, resisting the urge to raise his voice. “But how could I do it after the way you reacted?”
“Oh, so it’s my fault? You could’ve easily said no! This whole time, I wondered why you were so willing to help me. I thought you were being nice, that you believed giving me a better life was worth all these risky accommodations. Was…was I wrong?”
Your voice cracks at the last part, and you hastily wipe your eyes. It’s reminiscent of your first meeting, the distressed shock which Miguel had never seen in his wife. Only that time, you had sought out his comfort.
“Tell me, was it because of her?” you whisper. Tears well up in your eyes, threatening to spill. “Is that all you’ve ever seen in me?”
“You have the wrong idea.” Miguel approaches you, but you instinctively back away. He raises his hands in a placating gesture. “If you would just listen to me—”
“How can I?!”
Your hand settles on your wrist, unconsciously fiddling with your Dimensional Travel Watch. The clasp loosens, and his reaction is immediate.
He grips your arm. “Don’t do that! You’ll get yourself—”
“Let go of me!”
You pull back, clawing at his wrist, but Miguel's grasp only tightens. His other hand taps the watch’s controls to activate the Lock feature.
“This is for your own good, ______." In the split second that he releases you, his webs shoot out and bind your limbs together.
“No!” You collapse onto the floor. The scarlet threads dig into your skin, emitting a harsh glow in the dark. “Please, just let me go!”
After everything he’s been through, he is not losing you again.
Ignoring the stab of guilt, he picks you up and salvages what is left of his composure.
“You see, this is why I didn’t tell you.” He sighs, already feeling the beginnings of a headache.
You’re still shaking in his grasp, tears rolling down your cheeks. “I…I’m not—”
His kiss easily silences you. It’s far from intimate but the sensations are familiar. Warm lips. The scent of your perfume. The addictive rush of euphoria. Physical and chemical reactions which couldn’t be adequately explained in words.
And the whimper that escapes your lips when Miguel pulls back to press a light kiss to your forehead.
“We can continue this conversation when we get home.”
vi. cobweb
Your days in the Spider Society are over.
Not permanently. Miguel says that you can resume work once you’ve calmed down, but you doubt it will happen under any pretense of freedom.
Since your confrontation, you’ve been confined in his home. As it turns out, Miguel had already prepared for this—locks, alarms, hidden cameras, a comprehensive speech which only elevates your horror.
“She wouldn’t want this,” you keep insisting. You writhe against your restraints, but the webs remain taut against your skin. “How would your ______ feel if she knew?!”
“She’s not here anymore.” Miguel looks away from your face, as though the reminder physically pains him. “What matters now is that I have you. The both of us can start over.”
“How can you say that?!” At this point, you’re on the verge of hysteria. “You…you don’t actually love me. You’re only doing this because I’m the closest you have to getting her back!”
The hand on your cheek makes you flinch. The gentle caress does little to soothe you, not with the underlying threat of his claws. His eyes flash red in the dim light, brimming with—what do you call it? Grief? Desperation? Obsession?
You can’t tell, not when those sentiments are for someone else.
“You only say that because you don’t know any better,” he says softly. His lips meet yours, trapping you in a deep kiss. “Now get some rest, mi sol. It’s been a long day, and we know how you get when you’re stressed.”
My sun. What a lie. Since when have you done anything to deserve such a title?
You can’t bother to fight back. You’re too tired to think, to resist the kiss, to move an inch as Miguel undos your restraints and tucks you into bed.
Instead, you close your eyes and retreat into slumber. But even in your last seconds of consciousness, his gaze is strongly felt.
-
As it turns out, Miguel really did consider all possibilities. Your Dimensional Travel Watch has an exclusive Lock feature, should you ever be tempted to escape him through death. It can only be removed during your scheduled baths, with LYLA acting as your timer.
You rarely talk to her, either. She clearly feels sorry for you, but not enough to help. She monitors your daily activity, keeps you company when Miguel is away, and tries to cheer you up. She has yet to accomplish the last task.
Against your better judgment, you ask her about your Variant. She is resistant at first, knowing the negative outcome, but you are persistent. In the end, LYLA decides that it’s better to show you a few videos than for you to ask Miguel directly.
…Your Variant is perfect. Pretty. Carefree. Successful. A calming presence. You can see why Miguel would fall for her, with how she effortlessly puts a smile on his face.
Among your Variants, isn’t there one who bears a closer resemblance to her? Or were they too important to leave without disrupting the Canon? Is that why he settled for you?
“You have a better sense of style,” LYLA offhandedly mentions. “It was Miguel who said that. And do you know that he calls you one of our best workers?”
It doesn’t make you feel any better. “I see. Thanks for letting me know.”
As LYLA predicted, the information only makes you feel worse. You can’t stop thinking about your other self. How did she turn out like that? How did she succeed in your failures? How has Miguel perceived his moments with you, as new memories or a replica of lost time?
You don’t want to ask him. You’ve had enough disappointments for one lifetime.
Neither do you make an escape plan. On the low chance that you succeed, you don’t have anywhere to go. The Spider Society, or most of them, is loyal to Miguel. And it’s not like you’d be better off in your dimension, back to your empty home and dead-end job and daily reminders of your insignificance.
At least here, you can feel valued. Even if you owe that to someone else.
꒰♡꒱
“I hate to say ‘I told you so,’ but I told you so.”
Miguel doesn’t look up from the screens. “Now is not the time for this.”
LYLA is anything but smug. ”Are you sure? Because you said that when I asked if you’d ever tell her the truth, and look where that went. A civil explanation might’ve been nice.”
“How is she?”
“No better than with you.”
The CCTV switches to the kitchen. By now, you've established a new routine—lie awake in bed, rearrange your room, watch TV, cook your own meals. It's repetitive but easy to follow.
He zooms in on the ingredients. “Do you see anything suspicious?”
“No potential poisons,” LYLA responds, equally focused. “Oh, is she cooking dinner again? Last night’s meal looked really good.”
“It probably helps. Gives her something to preoccupy herself with.”
In the end, you’ve chosen the docile route. You’re still tense around Miguel, but your behavior can’t even be counted as malicious compliance. You just go through your new routine, trying to create some semblance of normalcy in confinement.
Though internally speaking, he has no access to your thoughts.
“She’s quite different from his wife, isn’t she?” asks LYLA. “I like this version of ______.”
Miguel zooms in on you this time. In your current state, you’ve revealed more contrasts to his Variant’s wife. It actually doesn’t bother him in the slightest.
When did his feelings for you begin? Was it when he saved you? When he saw a spark of his beloved in you? When that spark turned out to be your own brilliance?
All he knows is that you’re the one who consumes his thoughts nowadays. Your distinct preferences, your little quirks, your quiet words, your uncertain expressions, your attitude towards him and no other Miguel.
...There must be a way to persuade you. If Miguel was able to play along with his Variant’s family, to the point that his love for them became genuine, the same can be said for you. He just needs to prove that you can and will be happy together.
The only thing missing would be Gabriella.
vii. sheet web
You’ve been promoted to Miguel’s bedmate.
His room isn’t much. It is dark, minimalist, often empty due to the nature of his work. There are zero mementos of his lost family, not even a framed photo or something of her influence.
They’re probably hidden somewhere. How considerate.
On most nights, you act oblivious to your new sleeping arrangement. You just say good night to Miguel, lie down on your side of the bed, and try to fall asleep as quickly as possible.
…That turns out to be more difficult than expected. Try as you might to feign sleep, you can’t relax in Miguel’s grasp. He holds you tightly in his sleep, your back pressed against his chest. You wonder if it is a familiar position or a means of keeping you close.
Lately, he has switched tactics. Movie nights have become a regular pastime. You’ve received permission to work from home, sans contact with the Spider Society. The two of you have even gone outside for a few dates, though his grip on your hand discourages any escape attempts. Awkwardness aside, he’s been more physically affectionate.
It’s absolutely jarring, but you’re somewhat grateful for the added comforts. If your choices are different from his wife’s, Miguel doesn’t seem to mind.
This should be fine. It’s better than when he was acting like an overprotective control freak…even if those methods had left no speculation as to who the intended receiver was. With this approach, you can never be sure if Miguel sees you or his wife in front of him.
You try not to dwell on it more than you already have. You’re still here. Your living conditions have marginally improved. Miguel doesn’t expect you to be more like her.
You just need to keep it together, like you always have.
That is what you keep telling yourself, up until the night Miguel asks for your thoughts on starting a family.
-
“No. Please, stop!”
Red. In the dark, all you can see is red.
The lurid color wraps around you, binding your wrists to the headboard. The webs are taut, no-frills, effective in their sole purpose of keeping you trapped.
No, what’s worse is Miguel. His gaze is trained on you, scarlet orbs alight with crazed desire and your own terrified reflection.
“Stop struggling,” he sighs as he pins you down. Blood decorates his bare arms, from where your scratches failed to stop him. “You’re only going to get yourself hurt.”
You continue, anyway, only to scream as he leans down and sinks his fangs into your neck. It hurts, the flesh burns, everything feels heavy—
You can’t move.
It doesn’t take long for the venom to kick in. The numbness spreads throughout your body, leaving you dizzy and helpless. Your limbs won’t cooperate at all.
Yet despite the paralysis, the pain stays with you. It’s the only sensation you can feel—the sharp ache in your neck, the chafing around your wrists, the sting from where Miguel accidentally scratched your thigh while tearing off your clothes.
“Mi sol, you are still tense,” he mutters. His lips remain on your neck, administering light kisses to the fresh wound. A clawed hand presses down on the bed, puncturing the fabric, to support his weight. “You need to calm down.”
You can only bite your lip as he moves on to your chest, tainting the skin with love bites. His other hand retracts its claws and strokes your stomach, tracing—are those patterns supposed to be her stretch marks?
Of course he memorized them. She must be on his mind right now.
You squeeze your eyes shut, but the ministrations continue. His thumb strokes your hip, eliciting a stifled moan, and the self-inflicted darkness gives way to the sight of Miguel’s irritated expression.
“You’re not listening to me, ______.” His eyes flash, daring you to try again. The sight of his exposed fangs, speckled with your own blood, triggers another wave of dread.
Should you even be surprised that he knows your sensitive spots? He already made it clear that any form of escape is in vain.
It's pure torture. It would be easier if Miguel would just have his way with you, use your body to his heart’s content, leave you to your thoughts. But no, he is taking his time and making sure that you physically enjoy this. Ensuring that you will be ready for what comes next.
“S-Stop.” Your lips are still numb, but you manage to form words. “I said…I don’t want this! I’m not ready!”
“Shh.” He silences you with another kiss, his palm pressing down on your stomach. “You’re only saying this because it’s our first time. You have to trust me.”
It’s hard to believe him when you know that his composure is slipping. What is he trying to hide? His ragged breaths? The hardness pressed against your inner thigh? The urgency with which he lifts your legs up onto his shoulders?
“You’ll understand once our child is here,” he says. He breaks off the kiss, his voice hushed to a reverent whisper. “We will be so happy, happier than you can ever imagine.”
“You’re lying…I can’t—!”
You can’t stand to look at him. His gaze is so cruel, clouded with love, adoration, hope. Skies, he looks so hopeful. You don’t want to wait for the day he looks at you differently.
Was this how he looked at her? How did she return his gaze? It must’ve been passionate. It must’ve been romantic. It must’ve been so promising.
“I can’t give you Gabriella!”
The world stops as soon as those words leave your mouth.
“...What did you just say?” Miguel stares at you, eyes wide.
Of all Variants, why did it have to be you?
That is when you burst into tears.
How humiliating. It’s hard to breathe, it must be an ugly sight, and you can’t do anything to cover your face. But it’s enough to make Miguel stop and listen to you.
“I can’t give you Gabriella,” you repeat in choked sobs. “It requires an exact time, specific cells and DNA. And even if we succeed, I can’t raise her into the child you knew. I...I can’t restore your family. I can’t be her.”
In the end, you will only disappoint him.
“______…” He raises his hand to wipe your tears, but you interrupt him with a glare.
“Honestly, why did it have to be me?!” you shout. “Why couldn’t you have found a better duplicate of your wife? This wouldn’t be happening if you’d chosen the right ______!”
He doesn't respond.
For a few seconds, all you can hear is your own pitiful weeping. You vaguely register the feeling of your legs hitting the mattress, of the absence of Miguel’s touch, but you keep your eyes closed. It’s easier that way.
Suddenly, there is the sound of threads snapping. Then the sensation of strong hands coming under your back, lifting you upwards, pulling you into an embrace.
Your eyes fly open. “What—”
“Ya, calladita.”
Miguel…is he hugging you? He holds you tightly, repeating the words in a hushed tone. The message is followed by a string of curses which, judging by the way he turns away from you, must be solely directed at himself.
Paralyzed, you can only stare down at your lap. At his webs, still wrapped around your wrists but no longer connected to the bed. “What are you—”
“Could you let me talk for a second?" he snaps. He tilts your face upwards, allowing you to take in his glare. “You are my first choice. Not the version of you from Earth-94, Earth-835, or any other dimension in the multiverse. It doesn’t matter that you are different from her.”
This can’t be true. “Still, I—”
“As for Gabriella, you’re right." There is a flash of resignation in his gaze, so sorrowful that it clashes with his words. “I knew that from the start.”
“...Then why?”
Your head spins. His hands are still on you, caressing your cheek and keeping you in his grasp. The numbness gives way to warmth.
“Well, it doesn’t change the fact that any child from you will be ours,” he answers. His voice softens, as does his gaze. “Just as you are mine and I am yours.”
The words get stuck in your throat. “Are…are you sure?”
How can he say such a thing? Your sense of hearing must be damaged. It is the only logical explanation as to why—
The look in his eyes leaves no room for doubt. “I promise.”
...What else can you possibly say?
Your vision blurs. Miguel is still speaking, another quiet reassurance from the sound of it, but it’s all static in your head.
What the hell are you supposed to do with this information? It’s beyond your comprehension, too subjective and unproven for the likes of you. And yet you feel…good. Happy. So, so happy despite everything you have been through.
Skies, you are truly pathetic.
No, what’s more pathetic is the way you cry harder and melt into Miguel’s embrace. It’s the way you listen to his remaining praises and beg him to keep talking. To list everything about you that is good and faultless and desirable to him, everything he thought was worth noticing.
And when he kisses you, you willingly reciprocate.
-
The darkness is soothing.
The dim lights cast the bedroom in shadows. It’s a blessing to your dizziness, your eyes tired from crying. With this obstacle to your vision, you can pretend that the previous hours never happened.
Almost. The soreness, the deft hands tending to your injuries, and the immense euphoria are impossible to ignore.
It’s also painful, unbearably painful now that the venom’s effect has fully worn off. You can only sit up and wince as Miguel disinfects another wound.
He looks up in concern. “Are you okay?”
“I am.” You give him a weak smile as he bandages your thigh and mumbles a second apology. “I feel better already.”
His own injuries are equally evident, from your hesitant love bites to the scratch marks on his back. As guilty as you felt, you could only say so much before Miguel silenced you with a withering look.
…You will make it up to him tomorrow. If you are still capable of walking.
The thought leads you to cry into the pillow, muffling your curses. If Miguel can understand you, he doesn’t say anything. Rather, he closes the first aid kit and holds your hand.
“I’ll draw a bath,” he tells you. “Can you wait for a few minutes?”
Your thumb brushes against his pulse point. His heart rate is frustratingly calm, perhaps slightly above average if you are to flatter yourself. Maybe you can count the number of beats and ask LYLA tomorrow. She will be happy to confirm it.
You meet his gaze, intertwining your fingers with his. “Sure.”
You’d like to think that his last kiss is another promise.
With that, Miguel stands up and leaves the room. As for you, you lie down and go back to screaming into the pillow. Tired as you feel, you haven’t felt this thrilled in years.
Then the spiderwebs catch your attention. They’re still stuck to your wrists, albeit frayed. There are loose threads from where Miguel broke them.
Red. Illuminating the dark, holding you close, keeping you safe.
Carefully, you pick apart the threads and twist them around your hand.
No string figures this time. Your technique is clumsy, irregular, lacking beauty and order. Nonetheless, you continue until your left hand is covered in a glovelike pattern.
The final knot is above your ring finger. It’s a perfect fit.
It is the prettiest thing you have ever seen.
Author's Note ๑ Side Story 1 ๑ Prologue ๑ Epilogue ๑ Side Story 2
“I’m just going to write a short post to purge my brainrot,” I say, shortly before Miguel O’Hara unlocks a core memory of me reading The Spider and the Fly and inspires me to write 7.6k words with literary references.
Thank you so much to @diodellet for beta-reading this and @yanmaresu for helping me with the Spanish phrases!! As for my readers, I hope you enjoyed my take on Yandere! Miguel and his darling. Do entertain me with your comments and brainrot ⸜(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)⸝
Tag a Miguel O’Hara enjoyer!! @kocherry @yandere-romanticaa @yandere-daydreams @bweoo @h2o2-and-baking-soda @ansy-tea @yandere-wishes @weebsinstash @curesi @robindere @crystalcrynight @mrlidocaine @handsomeunderwear-art @blughxreader @chiikasevennn @fortheloveofleon
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ozziescribbler · 12 days
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TW: suicide
Statements "James Somerton doesn't deserve to die and I hope he's okay.", "Harry, Kat, Todd or Jessie (?!) bear no blame for James' self-harm and calling them murderers is abhorrent." and "Threatening or committing suicide is often a DARVO manipulation/revenge tactic." are allowed to all be true at the same time and not mutually exclusive.
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dduane · 5 months
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Unnerving. …But nonetheless worthwhile—not just for the anecdotes associated with the practical advice, but for the reminder about the Thoreau quote: “The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.”
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sm-baby · 1 month
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but what would happen if he DID forget his name?
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samgirl98 · 8 months
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DC X DP Prompt #4
It turns out that one of the things Danny inherited from Bruce was his need to make contingency plans.
Or: Danny's family finds out that he has contingency plans for all of them, including if Danny turns evil and how to permanently stop him
Bruce feels a certain way when he finds out his son has a plan to basically commit suicide.
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kcggggg · 9 months
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CULTISTS! in:
"Fluoride"
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animenostalgia · 2 months
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Some extremely sad news to share - Mangaka Hinako Ashihara, best known in the US for her shoujo work like Sand Chronicles and Forbidden Dance (originally Angel's Kiss in Japan), has died from suspected suicide. Her latest series in Japan, Sexy Tanaka-san, has recently gotten a live-action drama series. But behind the scenes, the production has been riddled with problems. Ashihara had expressed in a now-deleted blog post the scripts where not what she was promised out of the adaptation, which she later apologized for, saying she hadn't meant to sound like she was attacking the staff of the TV show.
People speculate that all these issues most likely lead to feelings of despair, though we don't know the full details and possibly never will. Whatever happened, it is a true tragedy and Ashihara will be deeply missed.
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capesandshapes · 1 year
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As someone who is part of the indie romance community I need you to understand that part of the problem with Susan Meachen is that she was disappointed by a lack of sales and had been informed as to the reasons why (bad covers, unappealing blurbs, plain language in stories that didn't fit her genre) and took it as bullying instead of valid criticism.
Like people tried to help her and instead of listening to them she thought she knew better and for some reason decided to turn around and instead of improving her books and taking the ideas she obviously had to make something better, she decided to fake her death?
That being said, please for the love of God if you want to write professionally... learn how to take criticism.
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evilroachindustrial · 13 days
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If you seriously blame Hbomberguy for James Somerton possibly taking his own life, just like fuck all the way off.
The only person responsible for James Somerton's actions are James Somerton.
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“i’ll go now, this is your thing”
“no you can stay”
and what if i killed myself
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o-wild-west-wind · 5 months
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okay, here’s my actual thoughtful post: I get why people are upset about the finale…I really do. but I want to mention that there’s a bigger picture to this story that’s missing if you’re zooming too close onto Izzy as a character, and I’m honestly so grateful that the show stuck to the thematic arc it introduced in season 1 because, as per usual, it’s about the themes 🤌 and this show never skimps on the symbolism!!
so here’s the thing: the primary themes are toxic masculinity (& it’s opposite, queer joy); trauma; love as a healing force for the above; and, title alert—DEATH. because it’s so much more than a cool title!
now, Izzy has always represented something metaphorical about all of these points; most directly, he’s always represented masculinity, and s2 has been an arc of toxicity deconstruction. but crucially, he’s also represented all that for Ed, who is the deuteragonist of this show. because—don’t forget—Stede and Ed are the show.
I’ve always doubted myself for feeling this after seeing how fandom saw Izzy as a third romantic figure (which like by all means have a blast in your fanfics I don’t care it’s about joy at the end of the day and pursue that as you want to), but after hearing something about djenks referring to Izzy as a father figure, it confirms a major point for me—Izzy is also in a lot of ways a parallel to Ed’s dad, and a representation of the trauma and guilt Ed felt from that formative killing. for so long, Izzy was an aggressive shadow in Ed’s life, and a tangible reminder of those daddy issues—someone telling him what to do, keeping him Blackbeard—and the beautiful thing is how that changed this season, how Izzy became a version of masculinity that could love and be beautiful and make good from the hurt, the literal poison into positivity. someone antithetical to his own paternalistic force, healing our daddy issues one drag show at a time. BUT, Izzy is still thematically representative within Ed’s arc—and by also representing the trauma that made Ed “Blackbeard,” it does make smart writing sense as to why Izzy died (NOT saying you can’t be sad about it—stick with me for a moment).
because here’s the thing—as aforementioned, this show is also about DEATH. killing is the root of everyone’s trauma, and reconciling a relationship with death is the ultimate arc Ed and Stede are both on, with the ultimate path of learning to live despite its inevitability. there’s a reason it was such a huge thing that Ed couldn’t personally kill, and then in this episode killed so many people with his bare hands in the name of love—and there’s a reason that was framed as a good thing. and there’s also Ed’s (and arguably Stede’s) active suicidality, which has been a huge force driving this season. these are characters who see death as this all-consuming thing, and they see their own deaths as the only solution. death is the traumatic force driving almost everything about their being for so long—and its reconciliation is everything for them, the greatest sign of growth. so Izzy’s death, and everyone beginning again with love—healing each other with love—is a cap to it all. it’s death as a positive force, for once. it’s death as love, not trauma. it’s death as something that will always happen, but this time not forced by your own hand. it’s a death to everything toxic, to what “Blackbeard” represented, and all the while a sort of rebirth. it’s kind of a death to…death? it’s functionally like the real physical moon replacing the giant romantic imaginary orb: it’s taking the thing that’s been artificially morphed in Stede and Ed’s heads and making it real this time, with all the bittersweet emotions that come with tangible reality.
and honestly, I’m glad that it was tragic and emotional. I didn’t think I’d be so devastated to see Izzy die, but it really did get to me, especially because of everything he said to Ricky and then to Ed. but think of it this way: Izzy and Ed might be romantically compelling because they were toxic and charged (and I hope people still enjoy everything they get from that dynamic in fan work), but imagine if the show had actually gone in that direction—where would it take us thematically? it would kill the thesis; it would be love as chaos and entertainment, but not healing. instead, this show gave us something so much more powerful: a legitimate, fully-fleshed trauma arc.
trauma hurts. Izzy’s death hurts. but that’s okay. that’s great, actually! it means the storytelling was effective—that Izzy’s arc made you feel something. and i know this won’t be every viewer’s experience, but honestly? I’m glad I can have this grieving process in such a beautifully framed light in the safe space ship of this show, because let’s be real—death, real life death, fucks you up. and let me tell you, I could’ve used this show during so many episodes of grief in my life. but here it is now, reminding us that our grief and trauma doesn’t define us—and WHAT a powerful thing for queer love, especially, to be presented as the thing that heals us all. ESPECIALLY when so much grief and death in this community is woven so deeply with the trauma of our identity.
so grieve as you need to, but don’t forget to turn the poison into positivity 💛 because that’s what the show is telling us—choose live, despite!
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ghostsbimbo · 2 months
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Report and block: ladygoth
CW: encouraging Suicide, rape tw. This is going on within the cod fandom, and they're very proud of their actions - fighting tooth and nail even. - so report, block, and move on.
I am absolutely appalled by this person's actions. they used to be one of my favorite creators with their texting with Simon series.
With their recent post of encouraging others to message those who write about dubcon/noncon to kill themselves, I can't sit by and follow them anymore. It's appalling. They also are excited(?) To go to prison for murder, which is a whole other can of worms.
Screen shots below
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Post located here.
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Post located here.
I would also like to point out how they are tagging their posts with x reader tags, too.
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