#Dina being okay with her feelings not being reciprocated as long as she can help by listening to her when she needs it. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dumdumsun · 3 years

Text

Forever and Never

A/N: Thank you so much for taking the time to read this series ❤️ I’ve had so much fun writing this and am very proud of and excited for it, I can’t wait to see how people react to this. Um I know there are plenty of warnings for a first chapter, but I promise it’s not as depressing as it sounds. It’s just that this story can deal with heavy stuff sometimes, so I just wanna let you know that. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Warnings: mentions of marijuana, death, sexual assault and mental illness

Word Count: 3194

—————————————

One: Hi, My Name Is

“So, what was your time in Pennsylvania like?”

“Uh… I’d have to say it was the best… and worst time of my life.”

“Best and worst, huh? Would you like to elaborate?”

“Well, I, uh… I mean, I don’t really know how to, like… explain it. It’s a lot. I don’t even know where to begin… Or how I would even word it or anything.”

“Well, you told me you like television and movies, right? You know those shows and movies where the main character tells the plot as, like, their life story? Maybe you could try that.”

“You aren’t… You aren’t serious, are you?”

“You’ll know when I’m joking, trust me.”

“Oh… Okay, then. Well, um…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi? My name is… (Y/N)? This is my life story, I guess.

So, if we’re going to talk about my life in Pennsylvania, we’re going to have to start with my life in Kansas, first. I had two loving parents that soon turned into one at the too-young age of nine years, when my mom died. I remember her as one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known. She had this way about her that was so carefree, yet she gave a shit about everything. You could never pin a thought to her because she never let you in on what was bouncing around in her head. She was stubborn and patient and lively. I miss her so much. I don’t usually think about her unless it’s a particularly hectic day, which I then resort to talking to the ring I wear on my left pinky finger at all times. Wasn’t anything special, just some cheap ring with a little emerald inside she found at a thrift store. It used to be hers and she’d wear it on the exact same finger. My dad said she’d want me to have it.

My dad is my favorite person. He isn’t the most… present, though. His mind is never set in one place, always racing with hundreds of unrelated thoughts. It’s why when you finally drag him back into reality, he can’t repeat a single sentence spoken to him. Regardless, he’s all I had for a long time. I never really learned what he does for a living, but I just know that it forces him to leave town sometimes. Well, more like all the time. Before my mom died, it was easy for him to leave for weeks on end, but when he became my only guardian, he didn’t really know what to do with me. It was like he completely forgot how to take care of a child, his child. When I turned twelve, that was when he started travelling again. I would then be home by myself for a month to eight weeks. In these times, I had no choice but to learn to cook for myself, go grocery shopping and housekeep. I became pretty independent at a young age. It wasn’t like Dad left me totally alone, though. He would call every two or three days and he sent me two hundred dollars every two weeks. Like I said, I don’t know what my dad did, but he was definitely getting paid. At the end of eighth grade, Dad had a particularly long trip to go on, so he sent me to Pennsylvania, where his sister lived.

Pennsylvania was partially the best part of my life because of my family. My Aunt Pam was like a second mother to me. She was never able to have another child after my cousin Jacob and she’s always wanted a daughter of her own, so that’s what I was to her. The daughter she could never have. I’d often find her staring at me with a bittersweet smile on her face, watching my every move with a sense of pride, but when I’d ask her what was wrong she’d only brush it off as her admiring me. My Uncle David didn’t necessarily view me as a daughter, but he certainly treated me like one. When he wanted to spend time with Jacob, he included me as well. We’d usually go on drives around the town, but I always fell asleep to the soft and serene music that filled the car from the radio. On the weekends, we would head down by the lake and spend hours learning to fish.

I hated it, but I couldn’t complain. It gave me a sense of certainty to live with a father figure who didn’t leave me alone every two or three months.

Jacob was like a brother to me. He’s a year older than me, which, to him, meant that he had to protect me at all costs. I always assumed it was because he always wanted a younger sibling, and I was the closest he was ever going to get to that. I always felt as though I’d never be able to equal Jacob on an intellectual level because he practically had the IQ of Albert Einstein himself. I felt inferior to him until I found out how much of a joy he really was. On the weekends, he would beg me to accompany him in a movie marathon. I learned that Jacob was a huge fan of Tim Burton (his favorite was Beetlejuice). He’s the only cousin I’ve ever known. Mom and Dad didn’t like each other’s families, so I never met anyone besides this little family. Moving in with them meant that they’d have this huge burden on them.

Yes, I almost forgot to mention that I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD. It just means that my mind is flooded with these crazy and unnecessary thoughts and so my behavior is affected by them. For example, if I were to blink and felt I put more pressure on my left eye than my right, I would have to repeatedly wink with my right eye until they felt balanced. Sometimes I can’t enter a room until I have inhaled eight times. If I scratch an itch on my left knee, I have to scratch the right one in the exact same place. At the sink, even if I don’t use both knobs, I have to hold both in my hands. And when I turn them off, I often have to check about four times before I am certain they’re turned off all the way. I know, it sounds tiring. Just imagine being on my end, having it be a part of who you are. I can’t do anything to stop it, I wish I could. I was always afraid to make friends because of this. If I couldn’t be balanced, I’d freeze, and I mean actually stop whatever I’m doing and stand still, until my body felt as if I were balanced once again. Who wouldn’t make fun of me for this?

Apparently, no one gave a shit about it. After moving to Pennsylvania, I made quite a name for myself at school. Literally. My name was Zip. I have no fucking clue how that ridiculous name came to be, but that’s what I went by day after day. One could say I was considered popular, but it wasn’t like I actually spoke to anyone. When it came to extracurriculars, I only participated in theatre. I never was part of the cast, just the stage manager. Secretly, I wanted so badly to audition and be a part of the magic they created on that stage. Not to boast or anything, but I had the talent and potential to be a starring role. But I could never bring myself to break out of my shell. Nonetheless, being stage manager still got me quite the attention. Everyone was always so nice to me, so I felt a little bad for not considering any of them as friends. That was until I met Dina.

Dina was new to our school sophomore year. She had this sort of light to her that attracted the pesky moths that were our dull and boring school body. We had the same social status in school. People liked our personalities, so we were well-liked and accepted without doing much to prove ourselves worthy. She was sweet and compassionate and so fun. I didn’t mean to become her friend, but she was so welcoming, despite being the newcomer. We became close friends, but not best friends. We already had people filling those roles.

Dina’s best friend was Sydney Novak. Sydney moved to Brownsville around the same time as Dina, so the two became best friends quickly, but Sydney wasn’t very popular at all. She was shy and introverted, but I thought she was nice enough. I liked her and thought she was a pretty cool person. We weren’t necessarily friends, we were just well acquainted simply because we were both close with Dina. The transitive property, if you would. I just wish we could’ve talked more, our relationship was pretty much nonexistent.

Speaking of nonexistent relationships, let’s talk about Richard Berry. I honestly don’t want to even think about him, but he played a role in my life that was too vital to just offhandedly mention. For some odd reason, Ricky Berry was absolutely in love with me. It was so obvious to everyone except for me. Sophomore year, he expressed his love through the most arrogant and cheesiest of pick-up lines and compliments. I wasn’t so easily won over, if you could guess. I tried being good friends with him, but he’d always fuck it up when he tried to initiate intimacy. I didn’t want to hold hands with him in the halls or receive “friendly” cheek kisses. I’m not what you would call affectionate, especially towards people I’m not close to. It’s just never been comfortable for me. Junior year, everyone around me was buzzing with excitement when they heard Ricky was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. The cheerleaders, who got to know him through his high school football career, constantly pestered me with reasons as to why I would be so lucky to date The Richard Berry. Granted, he became less of a dick junior year, so I thought, Why not?, and accepted. Being in a relationship with Ricky was the most one-sided… anything I had ever been a part of. He was undeniably enamored with me, but I couldn’t find it in myself to reciprocate those feelings. He would show me off to his family and friends like a trophy, but if someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I’d go, “I mean, yeah. I guess”, so not a very healthy relationship. It also didn’t help that Ricky knew nothing about boundaries.

One night, we were in his bedroom, studying for a science test. Ricky wasn’t focused at all and kept trying to kiss and cuddle with me. I let him for awhile, but then he took my book from me and set it on the ground beside his bed. He suggested we have sex right then and there. Now, I was never a prude and definitely didn’t wait to have sex for the first time, but I never wanted Ricky to be my first. He hadn’t earned enough of my trust to even touch me suggestively. So, of course I refused. Ricky only took that as me teasing him, so he advanced, nearly forcing himself on me. Using all my might, I shoved him off of the bed. He stood to his feet, utterly confused, but I only gathered my things and left his house. He tried following after me, but I ignored him until he turned and went back into his home. The next day at school, he was holding me and kissing me and showing me off to everyone like he always did. As if nothing happened between us the night before. It was difficult to do, since he was so inconsiderate, but I managed to break up with him. He tried to deny that we were Splitsville for about a week, but everyone caught wind of our break-up. Once everyone knew about it, it became true for him. I never really felt comfortable with being intimate or open with guys after that.

Besides with Stanley Barber, of course. Stan was my best friend in the entire world. I told only my deepest, darkest secrets to him. And he told me his. The only things we really had in common were our lack of mothers and our hideous bacne. Stan lived a few houses down and was eager to get to know me a week after I moved in. I’d never met anyone in my life like Stan. He was so awkward, but loveable. I don’t know, I guess he reminded me of my mom. The way he didn’t care, but he so clearly did. Whenever I wanted to talk about something that was difficult to voice, we’d smoke to ease the tension. Of course, this wasn’t how we always communicated. Despite his nervous stuttering, he was easy to open up to. Stan provided a sort of security in my life. He was never going to leave me and that put me at ease when hanging out with him, which we did regularly. I don’t know when exactly I developed a crush on him, but I never wanted it to surface in our bond. He was to never know. It was just a stupid crush, right? He was a guy who wasn’t family and was so unbelievably caring towards me. It was bound to happen, but that didn’t mean he had to be aware of it. Though, it was a little hard to keep such a secret when we’d both made out twice already. The first time was while I was dating Ricky, the kiss was very awkward and ended after about a minute and a half. The second kiss was just half a week after my breakup. That time, we’d both known what we were doing. And I may be a little biased, but you couldn’t have even thought to fake the passion in that makeout session. We never talked about either of those kisses and remained friends both times. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me that we didn’t become anything more afterwards. It was for the best, though, because two weeks before spring break, my dad returned from his job in Georgia and moved me to Kansas again. The move was so abrupt that I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to anyone besides my family.

My life in Kansas for the second time was something I’d never want to experience ever again. Since it was a little late in the year, I finished junior year online. For some unexplained reason, my dad had us get new phones and new numbers, so I lost all contact with my friends. I had no one to talk to and it wasn’t like my dad paid much attention to me. I remember spending every waking moment with him when I was younger, talking or playing games or watching television. It used to be so fun being his daughter, but when we moved back to Kansas, I just felt like this huge burden in his life. Our relationship was strained and he clearly had other priorities in his life. Like whatever he left back in Georgia. I’d see his phone ring and the same number from that state would pop up before he’d leave the room and privately talk with whoever. It wasn’t the secrecy that was off-putting to me, it was the fact that it was so much more important to him. Once again, I was ignored by the one person in my life I wanted to spend the most time with. So, you can imagine the joy I felt when Dad had to go back to Georgia for work. I had been attending public school for my senior year and left not even a full month in. It didn’t bother me, I had no friends and nothing to leave behind. Mid-September was when I moved back to Brownsville with Aunt Pam. Everyone accepted me right back in. Especially my classmates. As I walked the halls I heard whispers like,

“Oh, my god, is that Zip?”

“Zip’s back! Where’d she even go?”

“I thought she died.”

The only person I really wanted to notice me was Stan. I missed him so much, I even got into his favorite band to have something to remember him by. I remember the day I got back to my aunt’s house. Jacob had picked me up from the airport and was driving me to the house. He was attending community college, but was still living with his parents. As we drove, he tapped his index fingers rhythmically to the shitty pop music that played on the radio. “So, what are you excited about for senior year?”

“Not much, I just missed Dina and Stan. Theatre, too. I wonder how they’ve been doing without me.” I chuckled. Jacob huffed in amusement.

“But you didn’t miss Ricky?”

“Fuck, Jake, you know I didn’t miss him for a second.” I frowned, waving my hand in dismissal. My cousin tauntingly laughed at me. Had he actually known about what happened between Ricky and I, he wouldn’t have teased me. In fact, Ricky wouldn’t even be alive that day if Jacob found out. No one knew about the incident, not even Stan.

Pulling up in front of the house, we got out of the car and headed to the trunk to pull out my bags. I tried carrying them in, but Jacob insisted that he do all the heavy lifting and simply asked me to carry my backpack and close the trunk. I did what little I was asked of and headed to the front door to greet my aunt and uncle inside, but stopped. In the corner of my eye, I saw movement from the Barber residence. Turning, my eyes locked on Stanley, who was frozen beside his car. He was wearing his work uniform and staring at me with the most bewildered expression on his face. It was like he thought himself to be hallucinating my existence. Smiling, I simply waved at him before walking back inside. When he got home from work that night, he headed over to my house and knocked on the door. I answered with a grin on my face. “Stan!”

“If it isn’t the famous Zip, showing back up in my life.”

“Ugh, do not call me that.” I rolled my eyes playfully before bringing him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin at the top of my head. I would’ve stayed there all night if I could’ve. When Stanley pulled away, my heart hollowed and a pit formed within my stomach. I felt unfinished, unbalanced. And I hate imbalance. He asked if I wanted to hang out and I accepted his offer. All we did was lay on his floor, listen to music and get high, but in that moment, that’s all I needed.

Bloodwitch, a joint, and Stan laying by my side.

—————————————

Taglist: @melinda-hargreeves @sapphicsyn @stqnley @lonely-kermit

#i am not okay with this #ianowt #stanley barber #stanley barber x reader #wyatt oleff #wyatt oleff x reader #i am not okay with this x reader #ianowt x reader #ianowt fanfic #ianowt stanley barber #forever and never

144 notes · View notes

miitzwrites · 5 years

Note

can i ask u a levi and eren drabble or fanfic for the prompt "Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore."? thanks💗

Sweet, beautiful anon, I’m sorry it took me so freaking long, but hey, this monster of a drabble turned into a 8k One shot, and I’m pretty happy with the result, so I really hope you enjoy it as well!! Thanks for the prompt, come by if you want another -probably shorter- one!

[more prompts to send in] [if you would like to donate me a ko-fi, go there; or if you want to commission me a longer OS or a fic, send me a msg!!]

“Fuck, Erwin, I can’t do it. He’s a child, and sick at it,” the man whispered, but his voice seemed loud to the ears of the boy who laid chained to the metal bed, stripped down to only a pair of briefs, barely conscious. He was thin, and his skin acquired a pale tone, almost translucid, making his veins to stick out like fragile branches. And as if that wasn’t enough sign of the abuse he had been subjected to, his arms were painted in bruises, news and old ones, and needle marks were visible on his skin.

“Levi, he’s not part of the mission, and I don’t think he’s going to make it, anyway; remember what our boss told us, no witnesses. I am so sorry, but there’s no other way to help him,” the broad, giant blonde that accompanied the short, black-haired man, answered, and though his voice was cold, his eyes showed sympathy for the poor bastard who looked almost dead. When Levi refused to follow his orders, the blonde sighed, and approached the boy, holding a small knife in his hands. He knew how to make it less painful, almost merciful. With a loose hold on the boy’s hair, Erwin raised his knife, ready to strike, but a strong hand stopped him.

“He’s the son, Erwin. And if what we found about the mother is true, the kid will need some blood transfusions to help him going.”

“Levi…”

“Just fucking do it, eyebrows! I’ve seen this shit before, okay? Just… trust me on this one.” Shocked by the abrupt change in the raven’s behavior, Erwin nodded and helped Levi to untie the boy. They knew it was risky to make any move there in the middle of a deserted laboratory, so they decided to take him to their friend and doctor’s house, Hange Zöe, who waited for them after every mission.

-x-x-x-

Eren hated thunderstorms. He hated them badly, but after almost seven years of therapy, he learned how not to go into a full panic attack when the first thunder stroke.

He sat in front of the picture window in their living room, bundled up in a soft, blue blanket, holding against his face one of his boyfriend’s shirts, finding comfort in its smell. He scratched his arm, anxiously, ignoring the pain that came with that action. After months of being subjected to blood extraction and the experiments that came with it, the skin in his arms, legs, back of his hands and feet, became tender, hurting himself if he wasn’t careful. But, when he got like this, waking up after a nightmare and feeling numb, he lost his sense of reality, almost as if he traveled back to the source of his pain.

-x-x-x-

The boy, or better said, Eren, had been the subject of illegal experiments ran by Grisha Yeager, his father. For the information they gathered upon inspecting the laboratory, Dr. Yeager intended to make a serum from his son's blood, that could help treat some strange disease, which cure had yet to be found. The reason behind this experiment was unknown to the agents. And, with the lack of cooperation from Eren, they could only guess.

Eren didn’t speak and barely ate anything. He wasn’t malnourished, not exactly, but his haggard face made him look sick. He didn’t let anyone touch him, becoming quickly a trouble to the staff. Doctors and psychologists tried to approach him, but the boy was fast to avoid them when they presented him with a needle to take a sample of his blood or to give him some vitamins or other medicines. They had to restrain him more than once, but not even that made him want to talk to the agents.

After Levi and Erwin found him in that abandoned laboratory, they took him to Hange’s place, where she performed an urgent blood transfusion, just like Levi predicted. It was a surprise to Erwin and Moblit, Hange’s assistant when Levi was the one compatible with the boy’s type of blood. His records were classified since he was recruited into the Survey Corps, a secret intelligence agency that worked alongside the government, doing the dirty work when it was needed, so the only person who knew about him, was Hange, the woman who convinced him to join the SC, after being let up by his gang to die after a failed mission.

Both had an extremely odd blood type -Rh-null-, and while their blood was accepted by anyone, Rh-null carriers could only accept blood by others of the same type. It had been a miracle that they found Eren when they did.

But, aside from his health, the progress was minimal. Eren didn’t acknowledge them, they knew he wasn’t deaf because sudden noises startled him. After being discharged from the hospital and discovering that Eren didn’t have any close family that could take him in, Hange decided to look after him. And in this new environment, Eren remained secluded into his room. He only walked out of the bedroom to use the bathroom and wasn’t particularly interested in going outside. The boy was a mystery, especially for Levi. And as the man stared at his unofficial ward, he couldn’t help but feel connected to him.

-x-x-x-

Traffic was a bitch to deal with, and Levi tapped his fingers anxiously over the wheel, observing with a pained expression how the cars didn’t move an inch after the traffic light turned green. He didn’t want to worry, but he knew his boyfriend, and he remembered every single episode he suffered when the storms were accompanied by thunders.

It had been a little over a year since they moved in together, and frankly, Levi couldn’t be happier. It was a blessing to start his days and finish them with the sight of that beautiful shade of green that he loved dearly. But, although the good days occurred more often, the worry of having a setback, never left him.

With a sigh, he dialed Eren’s number again, frowning when he didn’t answer for the fourth time that evening.

-x-x-x-

“For fuck's sake, Nile, are you even listening to the shit you’re spitting out?” Levi groaned, again, it was the effect that Nile, his supervisor, had on him.

“Don’t be so crude, Ackerman. If you can’t see it, it’s your damn fault,” Nile answered, used to Levi’s bad temper -but feeling a little intimidated, nevertheless-, “the boy is almost eighteen, if we don’t clear this up, he could be prosecuted for his father’s crimes as an accomplice.”

“Erwin, beat some sense into this asshole before I do,” Levi stood up, ignoring the scowl of his coworkers.

“Levi, don’t let your personal feelings play into this, it can be dangerous,” Erwin suggested, and the room’s air became suddenly thick, and even Hange, who was munching on some snacks, stopped, looking at Levi with widened eyes.

“Come again?” Levi asked calmly, a clear sign of his lack of patience. The man was about to snap, everyone in the made-up office in Hange’s house could see it. And no one wanted to be at the receiving end of Levi’s anger.

“Your medical history matched some details with Eren’s. It’s such a huge coincidence, wouldn’t you say so?” Erwin explained slowly, how one would talk to a child. A glass flew by his side, missing his head by merely an inch. He didn’t wince and kept his eyes firmly on Levi.

“Don’t ever talk about things you cannot understand, do you hear me, fucking moron?” Levi threatened and didn’t wait for an answer, storming out the room and to his spare bedroom in Hange’s place, where he had been spending most of his time since rescuing Eren.

The door to Eren’s bedroom was ajar, and Levi was sure the boy had heard them talking. He didn’t bother to knock, but he entered the room, mindful of not making a sudden noise that could startle Eren.

“You heard us, didn’t you?” As expected, Eren didn’t answer, but his uneven breathing was enough to answer for Levi. “You don’t have to tell us anything if you’re not ready, just know that we’re here for you if you need us,” and after a moment, he added, “I promise you, no one will ever hurt you again.”

Suddenly, Eren looked up. Green and grey eyes crossed for the first time since the boy was first brought into the care of the SC, and Levi managed a small smile. Eren didn’t reciprocate it, but there was a sparkle in his eyes that told Levi he was going slowly but surely breaking down Eren’s barriers.

-x-x-x-

Not even a week later, the news reached the agents, informing them of the recent discovery of Grisha's dead body in a property that belonged to his first wife, Dina Fritz. The man killed himself, letting a note begging his son to forgive him, and explaining more detailed what he did to Eren.

His second wife and mother of Eren, Carla, was diagnosed a few years ago with a weird and practically unknown blood disease, that only worsened over the time, causing her to need constant blood transfusions. The problem was that her blood type was the same as her son's. There was no other person in the country that could help her, and his son couldn't donate his blood due to his age.

Grisha, then, did what he thought would help his wife, and after getting Eren’s consent, he started his research. At first, he would take a sample or two, but as time passed, he took more and more of his blood, giving him enough vitamins to have his son healthy. But that didn't change his wife's condition. In a moment of desperation, he searched for the people that he knew worked in the underground market, and they agreed that he needed a more aggressive approach. And then, Eren's nightmare began.

He accepted the help of a pharmacologist who promised would deliver better results in no time, but that didn't happen, and not only did Carla die without saying goodbye to her son months ago, but he never saw Eren again, and when the news about the raid on the lab of the pharmacologist reached him, he did what he thought would lead him to see his beloved family again, and with the help of a shotgun, ended his life.

“So that settles it then. Neither of them is guilty,” said Levi after hearing Nile’s report.

“It’s not that easy, Ackerman. We need to find this man, if he ends up being an invention of Grisha, the poor boy will suffer the consequences.”

“We have more urgent matters to attend to right now; how are we gonna tell him everything?” asked a mortified Hange, shaking her head after reading for a second time that day, the report.

“He needs to talk first and confirm his father's story. The information in the lab never revealed a second name, and no one saw or heard Grisha talking to another man. It could be a cover story for the trafficking ring in the underground,” Nile offered, disgusted by this whole mess.

“Just tell him so,” Levi suggested, “if the kid's responsible, his reaction will tell us. Just tell him the truth, your mom died, you were abandoned by God knows who, and your father took his life, so you either let us help you or you know, go to jail and all that crap.”

“Geez, Ackerman, no wonder why you didn't qualify for the psychology department,” scolded Nile, shaking his head. But the moment was interrupted by an almost unintelligible voice from the door. There, in front of the small group gathered in their usual made-up office, was Eren, looking at them with big, glassy eyes. For the first time, his usual inexpressive face showed sadness, and he spoke to the team that seemed as fragile as the owner.

“Are they dead? Mom and dad?”

“Eren, sweetie-.” Hange stood up, ready to console him, but Eren quickly shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No! When did they die?”

“Carla died six months ago, and your father was found earlier this week,” Levi answered, in his usual bluntness, but something told him the boy didn’t need to be cooed.

Eren’s face fell, and a sob found its way through his lips, “he said he’d help us if I behaved,” he whispered, and before anyone could ask what he meant, he turned around, returning to his bedroom, crestfallen.

“Eren, wait!” Hange yelled, but it was too late. Nile and Erwin were ready to follow him, but Levi stopped them.

“Wait here until I tell you. I think I can handle him.”

Levi knocked at the door twice, out of courtesy, and stepped inside. He sat on the edge of the bed, and his heart clenched at the sight of Eren, curled up in a ball, crying silently. Levi wasn’t an expert with victims. He got them out, and his job was done. Eren had been an especial case since the beginning, and now, he wasn’t sure of how to proceed.

“I know what you’re going through,” Levi lamely said, as if that would help him bond with the boy, but he knew that had been the wrong thing to say. Despite not saying anything, Eren’s jaw tightened, as if he were containing himself. Resigned, he continued, “I was once where you are right now. I was born and raised in the underground, my mom was a whore and I never met my father. She did her best to take care of me, but she got sick when I was six. And things went downhill from there,” Levi didn’t know why he felt the need to reveal this part of his story to the boy, something that only Hange knew, and only snips of it.

“One of her clients came and offered to help us. He took us to what we believed was a shelter. He gave us food, medicine for her, clothes and a good place to live. Then one day, they stopped giving my mom the medicine that she needed, and I could only watch as she died. I wish I had been stronger back then; I would’ve broken bone after bone of the shitbag that dragged her body out of our room as if she were garbage.”

Levi tried to swallow the knot on his throat, so unused to tell his story. But it was the only way he could show Eren that he understood him. Their experiences weren’t the same, but he could understand the level of pain that Eren suffered. He had felt it himself, and yet, he had survived.

“I was going to be sold off to one of the assholes that sponsored that place, but when they made some tests to see if I was healthy, they discovered that I was “special”. I have the same shit as you, so I became their golden boy. They used me as their blood bag, but only that. It was less painful in comparison to what happened to other kids. Long story short, the shelter couldn’t run such a successful business without the biggest dog in the underground noticing it. Kenny the Reaper is his name, and he dismantled the place, killed most of the people that ran that place, and let the kids run freely on the streets. Funny thing is, that idiotic man is my uncle. He was pretty mad when he found me among those brats.

And once I was freed from that place, the nightmares started, the night terrors, the paranoia of being chased by one of the fuckers from the shelter. Life hasn’t been easy, but I survived. You’ll get there, Eren, just give it some time.”

Somehow, Levi felt lighter after telling Eren about his past. He didn’t tell him about his time as Kenny’s ward, or when he ran his own gang, and although he wasn’t proud of some of the things he did, Levi would truthfully tell Eren more, if he asked.

The room was in silence, and Eren had finally calmed down. Levi was going to let him rest, but long, bony fingers grabbed his hand, and he understood the quiet message. He stood there, holding Eren’s hand until he was sure the boy was asleep.

And, the following morning, when Erwin asked him what had happened the previous night, Levi replied that he would watch over Eren for the time being, before they were forced to send him away because he was confident that he would get through him. After all, no one could understand him as well he did.

-x-x-x-

The following days, Levi started to notice how prominent the bags under Eren’s eyes became. Instead of getting better, he looked frailer. Levi could coax him to eat a meal or two and to walk outside for a little while, but nothing seemed to work out, Eren even refused to talk to their newly hired psychiatrist, Petra Ral. He was concerned, if the boy didn't make significant progress, he would be sent to a psychiatric clinic, and Levi had had his fair share of shrinks as to know how badly that place could fuck up Eren's already weak mental state.

And his concerns only increased one evening when he got a call from Hange, telling him they were at the hospital.

The sky was clouded, and heavy drops fell on the ground, accompanied by occasional thunders. Even Levi got startled a couple of times while driving, but he focused on the road, intent on getting to the hospital in time.

When he arrived, he found Hange sitting in the waiting room. She had managed to get a private room for Eren, but what caught the attention of his short friend, was the gash on the right side of her face. Hange tried to smile, but she winced instead. “I only got three stitches; I've gotten worse.”

“Good thing I don't have kids. I've had my fill with you and the emergency room for a long time. Where's Eren?”

“We had to sedate him,” the humor in Hange's face disappeared, and looked at Levi with sad, big brown eyes, “the thunderstorm triggered a crisis. He didn't recognize me and thought I'd hurt him, so he did this. Moblit helped me to bring him here. He even crushed a mirror with his bare hand. Doctors said he was lucky he didn’t cause any permanent damage.”

Levi cursed loudly, earning a frown from one of the nurses that passed by. He went to Eren’s hospital bedroom, and upon opening the door, stopped dead on his tracks. The sight of Eren trembling and whimpering, with his hands tied, so he wouldn’t hurt himself or others, angered him. The kid didn’t deserve this shit, so controlling his initial anger, he walked to his bed. Carefully, he untied him, rubbed his reddish wrists, and wiped the tears off his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

“This is so fucking unfair,” whispered Levi, “you don’t deserve going through this shit.”

“I behaved like he said,” Eren muttered weakly, and Levi’s head shot up with surprise when he heard him talking, “but he lied, and now my parents are dead,” a new wave of tears filled Eren’s eyes, and Levi cupped his face with both hands, holding his face softly.

“Who is this man, Eren?”

“Mr. Zackly. He’s the owner of the lab where you found me,” replied Eren, and then began telling what he remembered. Grisha had contacted the man in hopes of getting a second opinion about his wife’s condition, and the man, a pharmacologist well-known in the underground because of his unorthodox methods and experiments with new drugs, suggested he could treat his case personally, but in order to do so, he had to conduct his own research on Eren. Grisha declined the idea, but it was his son who convinced him. Eren wanted to give it a try if that meant his blood would be useful for his mom’s recovery.

But Eren’s stay was prolonged three more months that what they had originally agreed on. For six months, Eren endured Zackly’s perverted ideas, some of them leaving him on the verge of dying. And when he felt like giving up, Zackly would give him reports on his mother’s condition. Eren was truly happy when he read Carla was making incredible progress after five months under Zackly’s care. He didn’t know she was already dead by that moment.

A couple of days before Levi and Erwin found him, Zackly had taken a good amount of his blood, careful not to overdo it, and abandoned the lab and Eren. He had heard rumors that the location of his laboratory had been found and would be ambushed, so before getting caught, he fled, like the coward he was.

And, innocently, Eren thought Grisha would come back for him, but instead, the SC’s agents had found him, and his worst fears were confirmed the night he heard them talking about the suicide of his father. The memories of some of the experiments were fuzzy, and Levi didn’t want to dwell on them, prompting another crisis on Eren, so he took Eren’s hand -the one that wasn’t badged-, and firmly, he promised, “I’m going to find the son of a bitch that caused you this pain.”

Eren stared at the man for an instant, before nodding and closing his eyes. He didn’t doubt it that Levi would fulfill his promise.

-x-x-x-

The SC’s headquarters was a façade. A flat in the middle of the city where only tech interns worked, was enough as to no arise suspicion about the work of said organization. Regularly, the noise was minimal, with two exceptions. One being Hange and her enthusiast talks to the interns, and the other one, being Levi, throwing things at the walls in an angry fit.

They had been investigating Darius Zackly for over two months now, and the information they found didn’t incriminate the man at all. He had everything covered up, had alibis for his long work trips outside the city, and even, ten years ago, when he was subjected to a trial under the charges of malpractice, he wasn’t condemned because the evidence wasn’t enough, leaving him free to continue with his perverted plans.

When Levi finally vented his frustrations -or ran out of things to throw at the wall-, he sat heavily on a chair, staring up at the ceiling. Nothing was going as planned, and that frustrated him, and what was worse, he barely saw Eren, with the amount of work he had, by the time he got back to Hange’s place, Eren was either asleep or out with Petra.

Following his stay in the hospital, and as if a weight would’ve been lifted from his shoulders, Eren accepted Petra’s help, and the psychiatrist recommended him going to support groups where he could talk to other victims. She also told him it’d be ideal if he found an activity that he would enjoy until he decided if he wanted to go back to school or not. And, after a couple of weeks trying different things, Eren decided to volunteer in the local animal shelter.

Eren suffered from nightmares but wasn’t a constant occurrence, only once or twice he would wake up screaming or crying as if he were back in the lab, but the thing he had yet to overcome was his fear of thunderstorms. For what Eren had told him and Hange, he had lived for months in a small cell where he was chained to the bedpost, to prevent him from attacking one of Zackly’s men. The room didn’t have a window or anything that let him see the exterior, but he could hear when it was raining, and the sound effect of the thunders on that cell, scared him. Weak from whatever that man had put him through, with no way of covering the thunders, and with no source of light, had left Eren traumatized.

Levi shifted his attention to the clock on the opposite wall, and it read half-past seven. Another day with no improvement left a sour taste on his mouth, so he used his last resource. Picking up his cellphone, he dialed a number that he had memorized since he was younger.

“Hey, old man, I need a favor.”

-x-x-x-

Kenny was a strong name in the underground, his business, although illegal, conserved some type of ethic that didn’t allow him nor his men, to hurt the most vulnerable people. Sure, he had his brothels, and he trafficked weapons and drugs, but he never touched a kid or a lady without her consent. Thus, when he got his nephew’s request to investigate Zackly, he was a hundred percent aboard.

Finding information was easy. Relying upon them to his nephew, even more so. However, what wasn’t a piece of cake, was delivering the news to his nephew, that this man used to visit Olympia during her available hours, nor that he approached them because her son was exactly what the market needed. Yes, as it turned out, Zackly was a client of Kuchel Ackerman, his late sister, and his instincts told him that he had something to do with her death and the subsequent imprisonment of his nephew before he dismantled that old shelter.

Kenny rarely left his safe house, preferring using a safe channel to speak privately with his people, but this time, he knew he needed to pay a visit to the city.

-x-x-x-

“Mr. Ackerman, a man requested a meeting with you. He says it’s urgent, so he made himself comfortable at your office.,” the newest intern, Marlow, told Levi upon his arrival at the SC HQs. Levi frowned, ready to reprimand him for being careless as to let someone into his office without even asking his name. Unfortunately, Levi knew there was only one idiot with enough galls, as to step into his territory and be unaffected by his fury.

“Listen up, kid, if anyone asks, no one, and I repeat it, no one has come to see me today. Do you understand?” Marlow paled under Levi’s frigid gaze, and nodded quickly, returning to his desk to try to focus on his work. When Levi reached his office, the curtains were drawn, and the lights were dimmed. He closed the door behind himself, and locked it, just to be sure.

“Nice office, brat,” Kenny said as a greeting, sitting behind Levi’s desk as if he owned the place.

“To what do I owe the displeasure of your visit?” Levi replied, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms.

“I gathered all the information that you needed, rat. All you need to do is to plan how you’re gonna present it to the big guns, and then start the whole shit-show. The bastard will spend a long time in the cooler if you do this right.”

Levi hummed, with a hint of suspicion. He was good at reading others, and by the crease on Kenny’s brows, there was something else that the man wasn’t telling him yet. The silence lingered for a moment longer, and Kenny chuckled, procuring an envelope from his jacket.

“Why don’t you let me deal with him?” Offered Kenny, but Levi narrowed his eyes, shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah, don’t look at me like that, just let’s keep this off the records, kid, alright?” Levi took the envelope from Kenny’s outstretched hand, and opened it, reading the contents. The information was from almost 25 years ago when the man started working as a contact between the black market and the lowest whorehouses in the underground.

“What’s this, Kenny?”

“I’m an old man, kid, but my instinct has never failed me. And I’m convinced this asshole visited your mama at her job.”

Levi felt as if cold water had been poured over him. He was a kid, he hardly remembered faces or names, but Kenny never lied to him, and most of the times, he was right. The struggle in his face was obvious to the old man, but he couldn’t force his nephew to decide in such a short time. They both respected their line of jobs, even if they were opposites.

“Listen, son, just take your time. Do your work and use this information as you please. But don’t forget I’m a call away if you need me, okay?” Kenny offered his support, placing his hand on Levi’s shoulder, and he nodded dumbly, ignoring when his uncle left his office. He knew what he had to do, he was one of the best in his division, but this case was hitting close home, and for the first time Levi was at a loss of what to do.

-x-x-x-

Laughter could be heard from the backyard, and Levi stopped to gauge the sound. Did Hange invite someone? That was unlikely, in most cases, the obnoxious laughter would belong to her, and what he heard wasn’t as annoying as hers. Regardless, he found himself surprised when he spotted the owner of said laughter.

Eren was sprawled on the grass, trying to regain his breath, as a huge beast licked his face and pawed at his belly. The joyous sound reached him again, and for a moment, Levi regretted not being able to store it away and treasure it. If it were for him, Levi would give everything in his hands to keep that smile on Eren’s face and to hear him laughing more often.

“Oh, you're here early,” Hange greeted him from the kitchen, “did you miss us?”

“As if you wouldn't know already what happened,” grumbled Levi, finally taking his eyes off Eren.

“Well, yes, but I wanna hear it from you. You know Erwin gets moody and doesn't tell me the fun bits.”

“I got suspended for two weeks because I told a coworker to kindly fuck himself,” Hange snickered, making that horrible sound that annoyed Levi, “and apparently, I was too invested in the case, so I needed to either chill-out or step down.”

“Ah, can't say I didn't see it coming. Poor Nile, I bet he's traumatized.”

“Nile? It was the fucking tall blonde that got me suspended. Nile only signed it up.”

“Oh boy, Smith omitted the funniest thing,” the grin on Hange’s face verged on maniac, and Levi wondered, not for the first time, why he was friends with such a crazy lot. Nevertheless, he knew no one would understand him as Hange did. That batshit crazy individual knew how to put up with him.

“The evidence we got isn’t enough,” commented Levi, directing his gaze back at Eren, “half of the evidence isn’t conclusive, the other half can’t be trusted because an unknown source isn’t reliable enough. We have nothing, Hange.”

Hange observed how Levi looked at the younger man, and arched a brow, but decided not to comment anything, yet. Instead, she boiled some water, knowing that nothing calmed his grumpy friend as tea did.

“And why did Erwin think you’re too involved?”

“Kenny is convinced that the fucker here is the same man that got my mom into that fucking place. And I don’t believe in coincidences.” Hange nodded and offered a pat on Levi’s back as a way of comfort. She would’ve hugged him, but the few punches that she earned over the years, taught her a thing or two about Levi.

The door that led to the backyard was opened, and a gasping Eren entered the kitchen. He signaled the big dog to wait for him outside, and the animal obeyed him, waging his tail.

“Hey, Levi, You’re early.”

“Yeah, yeah, got some free time, so here I am.”

“That’s good! I haven’t seen you in days,” Eren smiled, and by reflex, Levi mirrored his expression, “oh, by the way, my little buddy out there, is Titan, he was abandoned some weeks ago, and I was asked to look after him for a while, if you don’t mind.”

“This is Hange’s place if four eyes doesn’t mind, I don’t mind either. Just keep it out of the house and don’t let it shit everywhere.”

Eren touched his jaw with his fingers, a gesture that Levi picked up on as nervousness. The blush that was already present in his face, deepened, and the older man quirked an eyebrow, waiting for the boy to keep talking.

“W-well, I, uh, I’ve been talking to Petra and she says it’s policy of the SC to keep under their care the people that are like me,” Levi noted the way Eren flinched, avoiding to say out loud that he had no family to go back to, “and I’m almost eighteen, so I’d like to adopt him, so I need you to sign up the forms.”

“Shouldn’t Hange do that?”

“N-no. I mean, I’m gonna move in with you in a couple of months, right?”

Luckily, Hange had yet to hand Levi his tea, otherwise, he was sure he would’ve dropped the cup. Levi stared at Eren, gauging how serious his statement was. And then, as blunt as ever, he replied, “and what on earth gave you the impression that I’d let you live with me?”

For the first time in a long time, he regretted his unfiltered mouth when he noticed the hurt that crossed the boy’s eyes. To cover up his deflated expression, Eren looked down, scratching the side of his face, again. “Listen, kid, my apartment isn’t fitting for a person, much less for a boy and his enormous beast. And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m barely around. I wouldn’t have the time to look after you.”

“And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a damn kid, Levi,” Eren countered, tensing his jaw in a way that denoted anger. Without another word, he turned around and left the kitchen, and the last Levi heard before Eren closed the door, was “I guess it’s just you and me, big boy.”

“The fuck was that for?!” Levi exclaimed when Hange slapped the back of his head before placing his tea in front of him.

“I cannot believe that one of the Corps’ finest is such a stupid, little man!”

“Oi!”

“Eren likes you, for God’s sake!”

“The kid’s not bad, but I wouldn’t be a good guardian nor roomie for him,” Hange shoot him an incredulous look that made Levi uncomfortable. “Stop looking at me like that, lunatic!”

Deciding to drop the topic, for now, Hange shook her head. Definitely, his friend needed to interact more with others if he wanted to catch romantic clues faster.

-x-x-x-

When the news about the prosecution of Zackly for his involvement in human trafficking and the evidence became public knowledge, his legal team was quick to shut down any suspicion, painting every possible witness as unfitting for court. Even Eren, who was by far one of the sanest witnesses and one of the few victims rescued, was disregarded, claiming that he was lying to protect his father and that the abuse he suffered provoked him to want to blame someone innocent.

It came without saying that Eren’s confidence and progress declined from all the chaos that surrounded him. He spent hours away in his bedroom and only allowed Titan to accompany him. And, if that wasn’t enough, the nightmares started with more frequency.

Levi couldn’t do much, other than to watch from the side and curse his bad luck. Since their failed conversation a while ago, Eren had put an invisible barrier between them, and any type of comfort the older man tried to offer, was ignored or denied, so he could only stay outside of Eren’s room, listening to him sniffing and muffing his sobbing against his pillow, as Titan whimpered by his owner’s side. But he couldn’t stay back and watch him suffer when he started panicking one night.

The light rain turned quickly into a storm, the kind that makes windows and doors tremble with the force of it. Levi couldn’t sleep, his insomniac tendencies worsened when he was stressed, and he hadn’t had a moment to rest in the past months. He re-read the files, trying to find a way out, but they were cornered. With a sigh, he threw the papers to the floor and stood up to refill his cup of tea, when a sound from Eren’s room alerted him. It started with a loud thud, and then another, and another one, as if someone were throwing things at the wall. Then the beast that Eren called his dog, barked and scratched the door. That was Levi’s clue to sprint to his room, and kick the door open, not minding if he made the boy upset by bursting in that way.

Titan rounded his legs, and Levi pushed him lightly to the side, approaching Eren. The boy kept his gaze on the corner of the room as if he was expecting something to jump out and attack him. Levi noticed several glasses and other stuff shattered on the floor as if Eren had used them to try to protect him.

“Eren,” Levi called him softly, stilling when the boy tensed. He turned to look at the older man with fear in his eyes, and that sight hurt Levi in a way that he couldn’t quite understand. He knew people dealt with trauma in different ways, he had an outlet when he was younger, fighting to make a name for himself in the underground, but that didn’t always help him. Sometimes, he wished he could turn to the person next to him and hug him. But he wasn’t a touchy person, he wasn’t sure if he would ever feel a hundred percent comfortable with someone else invading his personal space. However, at that moment, those thoughts were forgotten. After a moment, the cloud in Eren’s eyes dissipated, and realizing it was Levi who had barged into his room, Eren launched at him, almost making them fall.

“Oi brat, you’re spending so much time with your beast. His bad habits are starting to rub off on you,” he tried to joke, to make the younger man smile, but it was useless. His shoulders shook but not from laughter. Fat tears rolled down Eren’s eyes, and Levi let him cling to him, wetting his shirt and holding him almost uncomfortably tightly.

“I’m going crazy, Levi,” Eren sobbed, “I’m waiting for Zackly or one of his men to come here to hurt us. I could swear I saw someone on the corner, but I was alone.” The paranoid of being hunted down was something Levi learned to live with. Instantly, his mind was making any kind of plans to help Eren to cope with it. He could train him or ask one of his fellow agents to do so. Anything that could give him some peace, Levi would do it.

He allowed Eren to get everything off his chest, but when the boy mumbled apologies, Levi frowned, and took his face between his hands, to make Eren look at him.

“Listen up, brat, you have nothing to apologize for, alright?” Instead of answering, Eren shut his eyes tightly and shook his head. “Eren, look at me. C’mon, look at me, please,” it took him a couple of minutes to take deep breaths, just like Petra taught him, but when he finally could look at Levi, the older man smiled, and he brushed his thumbs over the boy’s cheeks. “Hey, calm down, alright? They can’t hurt you anymore. And I promise, no one will ever touch you again.”

Eren nodded shakily, and convinced that he believed him, Levi maneuvered them on the bed, so he could rest against the headboard while Eren rested on his chest. Levi’s legs caged Eren’s body, in a way that would make him feel protected, but that he could also leave whenever he felt like it.

Minutes passed, and Eren finally managed to calm down, soothed by the constant throb of Levi’s heart. Slowly, he fell asleep, confident that the nightmares wouldn’t return that night.

Hours later, when Hange returned from her job, she found Eren’s door open, and giving in her curious nature, she poked her head into the room, finding them in the same position, with Eren clinging to Levi’s shirt, and Levi carding a hand through Eren’s hair, while the other was upon Titan’s back, who laid comfortably on Levi’s left leg.

Hange smiled knowingly. It was only a matter of times before his stupid friend finally realized his feelings and Eren’s, she was sure of it.

-x-x-x-

As expected, the case against Zackly was rejected and Levi was sure that son of a bitch bribed the judge into disallowing the case. The public opinion was mixed, but the majority agreed that he was either a lunatic or a predator, or that he was both.

“What will happen now, Levi?” Hange asked him, both were in the park near the courthouse, after hearing the verdict. Levi couldn’t go back to Hange’s place yet. Eren was at work in the animal shelter, but it was only a matter of time until he heard the news, too.

“I don’t know, Hange. The bastard is free to wander around and hurt more people. He won’t stop unless someone stops him.”

Hange learned back and observed her friend. His slouched posture and tense jaw, how he anxiously tapped his fingers over his knees or bobbed his head imperceptibly. “You know what to do, don’t you?” Levi affirmed with a nod, and Hange hummed. “What’s stopping you, then?”

“You know the answer as well as I do.”

“Well, I’d say he has done enough for a lifetime. I’m sure Eren thinks the same way.”

“Eren?”

“Yes. I heard him once saying that, if he could, he’d kill him himself with his bare hands.”

Despite the situation, Levi smiled. The kid had some courage, the sparkle in his eyes shone brightly, even if it dimed at times. With that in mind, he finally decided on what to do. He pulled his phone from his pocket and sent a quick message. Then he got up and extended his hand to help Hange up. “Let’s go back now.”

-x-x-x-

“And as expected, this case is closed until further notice, and any information that comes through us will be redirected to the Federal Agency while the investigation runs its course. Understood?” The agents nodded when Nile finished his speech, and then he dismissed them.

Outside in the hallway, Erwin stopped Levi and brought him to an empty office. Levi crossed his arms and waited for his friend to start talking.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“I’m not sure what you mean, eyebrows.”

“Zackly was found dead this morning with a letter detailing his crimes. Do you expect me to believe that it was a simple suicide?”

“Maybe the bastard grew a conscience over the past days and decided to do a favor to the world.”

“Levi…”

“Listen, I don’t care, okay? I wish the man would’ve swallowed his fucking tongue, but I didn’t get my wish, so this is better than nothing. Now, if you don’t have more inquires, I’d like to go.”

Erwin didn’t try to stop Levi this time.

-x-x-x-

It was liberating for both men to know that the source of their pain was already gone.

While Levi continued with his job, Eren was able to move on. With the help of the SC and recommended by Petra, he was accepted into the State University where he would major in psychology. He had a strict schedule, going to classes, working at the animal shelter, therapy with Petra, etc. But he felt freer than ever. Also, he was authorized to find a place for himself instead of living under Hange’s roof, not that he wasn’t grateful, on the contrary, but he wanted to regain the control over his life, and since he couldn’t afford a big house or an apartment, he was happy to live in a shared house with other students that allowed him to move in with Titan.

Levi closed the door behind him and placed the last door on Eren’s bed. He had offered to help him to move to his new house. Luckily, he didn’t have much back at Hange’s place, so the moving was quick.

“Anything else, kid?”

“No, and I told you to stop calling me that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, young adult, then.”

“Levi! I’m serious,” the pout on Eren’s face didn’t help him, and Levi chuckled, looking fondly at Eren. In the past months, he had grown some more, and Levi had to stretch his neck more to look at him. He also gained some weight, filling his muscles nicely, and the brat let his hair grow, so he wore it in a small bun.

“You’re a cute shit, you know that?” Levi chuckled at Eren’s blush. “Well, I’ll leave you to settle down, call me if you need anything.”

“Levi, wait!” Eren grabbed him by the shoulder, and Levi looked at him inquisitively. Eren didn’t say anything for a moment, but his eyes moved from Levi’s to his lips. The blush that was already set on his cheeks, deepened, and Levi was about to make a teasing comment when a pair of lips landed on his.

To say that he was shocked, was an understatement, he just froze, and didn’t have the time to react when Eren pulled apart slightly, only to change the angle of his head, to press his lips against Levi’s once more. But this time, Levi did react, pushing him away with probably more force than needed. He turned away, rubbing his hands over his face, trying to calm his beating heart. “Fuck kid, why did you do that?” Levi whispered, feeling somewhat conflicted after Eren’s kiss. Maybe it had been an impulse, right? Or a way to thank him for what he did for the kid. But he could almost hear Hange’s obnoxious laughter, confirming him that, yes, the kid liked him. “fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“I’m really sorry, Levi,” the boy apologized, sitting on his bed, looking at his feet. “I thought you’d finally see me as something more than a kid now that I moved out. But clearly, I was wrong.” When Levi remained in silence, Eren took a shaky breath, “I-I like you, okay? And don’t say it’s just a crush, because I’ve known you for almost two years and this feeling hasn’t changed. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, just tell me that I didn’t fuck up our friendship, and let’s forget about this, please, Levi?”

But Levi couldn’t simply forget it or pretend that it didn’t happen. Sure, Eren’s confession caught him by surprise, but he’d be lying if he said he never thought about Eren as more than just a kid, and that thought left him feeling restless in the past. Regaining his composure, he sat by Eren’s side, frowning when the kid flinched.

“Eren, I’m too old for this shit, so I really want your full honesty here, okay? No half-truths,” when Eren nodded, Levi continued, “Why would you like an old man like me?”

Eren snorted at the comment, and his lips curled up slightly, “You’re not old, Levi, 32 years old isn’t old.”

“That doesn’t answer me shit, Eren.”

“I don’t have a reason to like someone, do I?” At the impassive look on the older man’s face, Eren elaborated, “what I mean is, I don’t have a reason, you can’t control it when you fall for someone. Because, honestly, you’re not the hero I kind of envisioned the first time I saw you after you and Erwin rescued me from that place. You’re crude, a clean freak -no offense-, and your shitty jokes are, well, shit.”

Levi slapped the back of Eren’s head, looking mildly offended, “Oi, brat! That’s not how you woo someone. Do I need to teach you that, too? Even Erwin did better with that giant bloodhound when he proposed.”

“And that’s exactly what I’m trying to say!” Eren threw his hands up, a bit exasperated, “I got to know you, the real you, with your flaws and all, and I still like you. You want a reason? Well, I find you attractive. And you make me feel safe. And you make some killer eggs in the morning, frankly, I’m gonna miss my breakfast.”

It was Levi’s turn to blush at Eren’s confession, and that was laughable, a grown man like him shouldn’t get all blushy because of a few compliments from a brat.

“Levi, if you let me, I-.”

“No. The answer is no,” Levi cut him off, but upon realizing his harshness and Eren’s trembling lower lip, he added, “Not yet. Look, you’re young, and you’re starting your life. You have all the opportunities in the world to find what makes you happy, and I won’t stop you. We met under difficult circumstances, and we haven’t known each other outside of them. So, this is what I can offer you. You’re going to do your thing, and I’ll do mine. Explore a little, make friends, have dates, you know, all that crap. And if in two years you still feel the same, then I’d be happy to give it a try.”

Eren’s pensive face betrayed the disappointment that he felt, but Levi’s offer didn’t sound too bad. If that gave him a chance to be close to the older man, he’d happily take it. “And what about you? What if you find someone else during that time?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when the time comes.”

“That doesn’t answer me shit,” Eren mimicked Levi’s tone, earning himself another slap in the back of the head. “Fine. I get it.”

“I mean it, Eren. Go outside and live your life at its fullest. I’ll be here when you’re ready,” Levi’s soft voice made Eren smile, and without a second thought, he leaned his head against Levi’s shoulder. Although the height difference made the position a bit difficult, Eren didn’t mind in the slightest. slightest.

“Levi?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Don’t be greedy, kid.”

“Jeez, a hug at least?”

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound bad.”

-x-x-x-

The house was completely submerged in shadows when Levi finally arrived. That wasn’t a good sign, but the silence was somehow reassuring. In the past, when something triggered Eren’s fears, he could hear his voice screaming to the front door, or the loud barking of Titan. from the inside. He took off his shoes and jacket and was about to look out for Eren, but Titan came running to greet him, stopping in front of him as he had learned not to try to jump and tackle him down as a greeting. At least, Levi knew he wouldn’t be tackled down by a giant beast every night after work.

He petted the dog’s head and followed him to the living room, and there, in the middle of the room, found Eren in the same position that he had been for the past two hours. He came up to Eren, sat by his side, taking in the way the moon and the streetlights illuminated his face. Eren seemed lost in thought, but his hand found Levi’s, and cradled it against his chest, quickly forgetting Levi’s shirt. When the dog returned to his owner’s side and Eren didn’t seem to react, Levi knew he needed to be careful while approaching the boy.

With soft movements, he approached Eren and kneeled in front of him. “Eren, baby, can you hear me?”

“How do you feel, bright eyes?” Levi asked, using his favorite pet name for Eren. Eren shrugged, and Levi moved his gaze down their intertwined hands, noticing the harsh lines on Eren’s arms, caused after scratching himself repeatedly. “Do you want me to call Petra?” Eren shook his head, “then, are you hungry? I can fix you a quick dinner,” another negative, and Levi was running out of options. “Can I at least hug you?” At that, Eren gave an affirmative nod, and Levi released a sigh of relief.

While the dog put his head over his paws, observing his owners Levi's arms circled Eren’s shoulders, and his boyfriend leaned against his torso, resting his head on Levi’s chest, and the older man peppered kisses over his forehead. Some minutes passed, and the tension abandoned Eren’s body, feeling protected between Levi’s arms.

“I came home and took a nap, and when I woke up, I was disoriented,” Eren explained, “for a moment, I feel like all these years had been a dream, and that I was back in that place. I was terrified to even imagine that everything I have was gone, that you were gone.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here, baby.”

“No, no, don’t apologize. You’ve done more than enough for me already. The rest is all on myself.” Levi didn’t argue with Eren, and he felt proud of him, of all that he had overcome, and the way he had matured over the years.

Holding the younger man’s chin with utter care, Levi lifted Eren’s face, looking at him with adoration. Then, he leaned down, kissing his boyfriend’s lips, a gesture that Eren returned in an instant. “Fuck, Eren. You have no idea how much I love you,” hearing those words, always filled Eren with warmth.

“Not as much as I love you, babe,” Eren responded, leaning in for another kiss, that he interrupted with a yawn.

Levi snickered, and shook his head, fondly, “Heh, such a cute shit you are.”

#ereri #riren #snk #levi x eren #snk fanfiction #my fics #thanks nonnie!

62 notes · View notes