#Don't be sad. Bilbo and Thorin being sneaky assholes because they're cringefail losers ok?

[edwardallenpoe]

another bagginshield story idea because the writers block is still kicking my ass but I need to write it down.

What if Bilbo lies about his and Thorin's relationship and tells whoever asks that they're partners. HERE ME OUT! I know this sounds shitty BUT

What if he does it so that people can leave him alone. Or to get discounts/tax benefits (however taxes work in Middle Earth/The Shire). What if he uses his Scary Boyfriend Privileges. What if people already assumed they were together and he was too exchausted with Everything to correct anybody and at some point after wearing the mithril armor everyday and having braids Thorin put in and doing traditionay hobbity and Dwarvish courting customs he's says "fuck it we practically are at this point" lmao. Like they share food and spar together and both of them have continually refused marriage proposals and Bilbo's like "well if he doesn't know we're married then sucks to be him" about Thorin.

WAIT BETTER IDEA HIT WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS

BOTH of these cringefail losers lie. :00 Imagine: after months of living in Erebor and doing traditionally Dwarvish courting customs and Bilbo keeps being badgered about it he lies and tells people he's courting Thorin. And also uses this as a way to keep potential suitors from marrying Thorin. He's intercepting letters from suitors and being like "oh whoops sorry news must travel slow to Ered Luin but Thorin is already engaged:(( yep I know. Welp. Good day."

Then. For some reason both he and Thorin travel back to The Shire right. They're staying there for a month or two. rumors obviously start about why and where Bilbo had left. And while they're there they do traditionally hobbity courting customs and so nosy cousin's and neighbirs start badgering Thorin about their relationship and their adventure and Thorin's just like "yeah we got married back in Erebor. Yep right after he slayed a dragon. Yeah he was too cool to not marry. Yep."

And so someone like random like Drogo Gamgee or smt mentions what Thorin's been talking about to Bilbo and a dwarf from Ered Luin sends Thorin a raven and they both find out what the other was saying behind each other's backs and make out so hard Mordor explodes. Or something.

Idk it is like. 5:30 am rn. I had maybe an hour of sleep before I woke up in a cold sweat to write this down and read @/conkers-thecosy fanfics. You're welcome.

Edit: chapter one of Dragonfly is now here :>

#bagginshield #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #bagginshield fanfic #thilbo #the shire #erebor #the hobbit #fanfic writing #I think I'm! Going insane! #Don't be sad. Bilbo and Thorin being sneaky assholes because they're cringefail losers ok? #I love them. #screeching