#Evan 'I'm not doing anymore math' Buckley | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wackybuddiemewbs · 1 year

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Random thoughts about 6x13 before we can move on with life again

OMG. That whole episode was chaotic perfection!!! I really love those "filler episodes" that are just wacky calls, mingled with some domestic firefam shenanigan, a lot of Buddie goodness, and some heartfelt drama. Like, girls (gn), we've been FED this whole episode.

Here a not at all ordered assembly of what was going through my mind, watching the episode:

Human Calculator Evan Buckley

I do hope Buck gets to keep his math skillz a while longer. And I'd really love to see it come in useful on a more serious call, too? But oh well, a fangirl can dream. Chimney asking if he did math "in his head???" was sending me. Just like Eddie's facial journeys during the math homework scene. Like, he's such a muppet.

On a more serious note, I wonder what they are going to do with that, moving forward. They laid on pretty heavy with the whole theme of figuring out the equation (hence answers in life), missing the assignment, and how Buck's skills may only be temporary. So it might be that he'll lose his way again (the same way his math skillz may leave again). We'll have to see. But it's... intriguing.

Babytrap and Sugarbaby

Like seriously. They stole this straight out of fanfic, I'm not even kidding. Eddie is babytrapping Buck so hard, only to start hustling together with him, and Buck happily handing over the money. Eddie Diaz, I'm in your walls.

Love to see Eddie being like: I will use your abilities, for evil. This guy (affectionate).

For real, though. What is the point of all that if not to give those two a nudge in the right direction (aka each other's muscly arms and taut tummies)? Eddie taking out Buck for poker dates... Them doing crime together... Them doing homework over at Buck's apartment... Buck being alone with Christopher to make cookies for school??? What is even happening??? And what's the point if not the BUDDIE AGENDA???

Also, Eddie Diaz, wear some sunglasses, your hearteyes are showing. Geez, wear some protection, you freak.

The Man with the Answers

Speaking of which, Buck's journey this season has now taken him to the stage where he feels like he is the one having the answers he's been seeking for so very long. He began this season, reading self-help books and asking e.g. Hen for the right answers. After his coma dream, Buck figured out some things about himself. He learned to appreciate his inherent value and could let go of the ghost of Daniel haunting him ever since that revelation.

Which is to say: They're moving the chess pieces in the right position, for the strategy to fully unfold. And I do believe it is the Buddie Agenda, I do.

I think a big hint was Eddie telling Christopher that the point of doing the homework himself instead of letting Buck run the calculations is that this is what's for Buck in store as well. Buck will only truly learn and get those life lessons he's so desperately seeking if he's the one to find the answers. He can't rely on self-help books or the opinions of others. He has to figure out that equation entirely on his own. He has to figure himself out.

Details that pointed me in a similar direction:

Buck telling Eddie why he didn't just get more gas: Because figuring it out was "more fun". AKA the getting to the destination is actually the goal. Buck is already where he needs/wants to be.

Eddie pointing out that those "superpowers" aren't permanent: Which may indicate that Buck will find himself struggling further down the road. Once he doesn't have the answers anymore (or rather, has them, but doesn't know how to act upon them).

Buck asking Eddie if he thinks Buck knew math all along (which is why it's actually no secret superpower via lightning ex machina): Because yes, Buck, you knew all along how to solve the equation, you're just running the wrong calculations right now. But I have faith in you that you will figure it out. Maybe just use a different measuring system!

Christopher pointing out that Buck may get more superpowers the stronger he gets: Which may be the big hint that Buck can have so much more than he currently has (more powers), the moment he understands that he already has these things (the family unit with Eddie and Christopher). He just has to claim his winnings.

I tend to believe the upshot is going to be that Buck has the answers, he just didn't put them together yet. It's like he has all the puzzle pieces, but he has to stick them together to see the grander picture (the secret ingredient). And my guess would be that it's going to be the resolution of the sperm donor storyline as well. He's looking right at the solution, and yes, it's Eddie and Christopher. And it has been all along.

The Sperm Donor Storyline(s)

Speaking of which YET AGAIN, I do find it interesting that we got this donor parallel (or antithesis) with Nathaniel and Denny vs. Buck and Kameron's and Connor's baby. Like, they now established that Nathaniel will get to play some role in Denny's life, because that is what Denny wants.

Which makes it hard for me to believe that the writers will choose the same route for Buck, also for the plain reason that they seemingly put Buck and Connor on different trajectories. Whereas Hen and Karen had an agreement with Nathaniel to keep his distance, Connor keeps sending sonograms and what not. He involves Buck actively in this whole "process" or "experience", which makes for an entirely different premise of how they are going to negotiate Buck's future role in Connor's life as well as that of Kameron and the child.

Which is something I honestly didn't see coming, I'll admit. I figured they'd take the route that him and Kameron would rather try to push Buck away (while he'd try to push into their lives). Because they chose someone as their donor who's not as much part of their social circle as Buck may have been, back when he and Connor were still roommates. The point being: I thought the storyline was going to be that Buck has to (painfully) accept Connor and Kameron having chosen him as the donor also because he'd be "easier to cut out of" their lives (and that of their child by extension). But that's not the route they are taking thus far.

But in the light of how they chose to have Nathaniel interact with Denny, I guess it makes sense. Because that'd be repetitive, in a way. Which isn't to say that Buck won't overstep and try to insert himself more into their lives than he should. I actually believe he will (it's been foreshadowed with the baby cozy and all). But Connor actively involving him thus far gives me a different vibe from what I'd previously estimated.

I'm interested to see whether they wish to explore how hard they make it on themselves, by Connor having Buck be that invested. Even though the reality is that Buck's always going to be donor not dad for that child. Like, I see great potential there. Just like I see potential character development for Connor, say, in a scenario where he feels like he's not the child's dad or so. And how he may come to struggle with that (or may even project that on Buck). There are many paths this could go.

But to turn this back to Buck here, the Nathaniel-Denny-storyline fits in so damn neatly. And I personally hope we get that kind of antithesis by the end of the season (because I'd find that very neat storytelling, is all). Namely, that Buck will do the opposite thing and extract himself from the child's life, having finally solved the equation that his family equals NOT Buck + baby but Buck + Eddie + Christopher. Because that is the stark contrast with Nathaniel. He doesn't have the family Buck already has. So that'd be the kind of bittersweet finale to that storyline I'd love to see, personally.

The Wilsons and Nathaniel

I still love to see the show standing true to exploring the different shapes family can take, now also by adding Nathaniel to the mix, portraying the tough reality that comes with this. It felt very real to me, how anxious Hen and Karen were that their son was slipping away from them.

I also liked to see Nathaniel owning up to his actions (albeit belatedly) and apologizing for his irresponsibility, without demonizing him. That guy feels very alone in this world, it'd seem, and to seek out that connection with Denny... It felt very human. So I loved to see them making it out to be just that, people making mistakes, but those mistakes being motivated by love.

And I LOVED to see Toni's growth as a character. Like, she's really trying to be there for her family, she serves as the messenger between Denny and his moms. And now she's seemingly also part of the rules Hen and Karen are setting for Nathaniel and Denny to safely interact. I love to see her safeguarding her family by opening up conversation and accepting people for who they are and how they feel. LOVE TO SEE IT. LOVE IT.

Also, loved how the Wilson family seemed to visually match, when they went to see Nathaniel at the hospital. Like, we saw a lot of yellows and blues, which signified to me that they were being there as a unit. Which tells me they're gonna be alright. Or as Toni said, they just need to figure out the right way.

Chimney's Journey to Healing

First of all, loved to see his interaction with Denny and with Hen. He's such a supportive uncle and friend (note: VERY different from what we see Buck and Christopher doing this whole episode, coz Buck ain't his uncle!!!). Like, I loved to see how he showed understanding for Denny and even let on about his own troubled feelings about his father. Even though that must still be heavy on his mind.

I do find it interesting that Chimney and the Buckley children seem to follow the same path: Which is not to forgive their parents, but to choose to let that anger/grief not control their lives anymore. Chimney has a family of his own and it's wonderful. So him coming to terms with his troubled relationship with his father in an effort to embrace the future he has as a family father is great for him. I do hope it pans out like that.

It also shows how the next generations (Chimney, Maddie, Buck) try not to repeat their parents' mistakes by holding on to e.g. grief but to choose to move on and embrace the future instead. Like, Chimney recognizes his father's humanity, well aware that this man's not changed one bit and did the terrible things he did and still does not see his son for what his son sees him (a fallible human being)... it highlights the long way Chimney's come and the great person he's become. And that's owed to the family he's found and his own strong character.

Like, I love to see that we get different versions of breaking vicious cycles.

With Eddie and Ramon, they seem to take a different route, in that Ramon seems to show genuine interest in reconnecting with Eddie, trying to find a better way for them to be father and son again.

With Toni and Hen, we see a similar thing. They reached a level of healing. Also, in that, Toni is stepping in and actively supporting her daughter and her family.

But then we still got those absentee parents who are seemingly never going to get past themselves. Which I feel is... very real in that way? You will have those people in your life. Some of them may even want to change, but they can't, past a certain point. And buying your son a new couch won't mend that relationship because you still haven't taken full accountability for what you've done in the past. Showing up to one family dinner (and being an absolute pest about it) is not going to mend things either. That's as much the reality of troubled family relationships as are the examples where there is a moving forward, together.

3 Minutes and 17 Seconds

That one's still sending me across the universe, right into a black hole. Like, they are nudging Eddie and Buck in a certain direction, but neither one is seemingly ready yet to solve the equation. Eddie knows down to the second how long he lived in a world where Buck was dead. And he feels the need to point that out, unprompted.

I honestly thought they'd have Captain Mehta point back to the shooting regarding the matter. But again, I guess timing is of the essence (maybe also signified by Buck's and Eddie's fancy watches). But after they were told that Eddie was welcome back without Buck as his human calculator, maybe we will see a second poker scene to get us there?

Like, there is something very purposeful about bringing the actor for Captain Mehta back after he left acting, really. You wouldn't do that if it didn't serve a purpose, right? And up until now, I haven't seen it. So maybe Eddie will play poker without Buck. And then Captain Mehta will say something about the shooting that either we as the audience don't know yet (e.g. Eddie lied to Buck about how little he remembers and he's only ever shared that in the poker family) or Eddie doesn't know (what Buck was like after he got shot, something that Captain Mehta witnessed first-hand).

Performance Anxiety Underway

Something that struck me was that Buck was, on the one hand, rather confident in his abilities that he started to hustle with Eddie. On the other hand, he seems very unsure about them (and what they may mean, or if they're meant to stay, or if they've been there all along). It gave me similar vibes to Buck being unsure if something's wrong with him, when the doctors did more and more tests, without telling him what may be wrong with him.

We got a hint in the previous episode that Buck still has a way ahead of him in dealing with his trauma. Right now, he is more caught up in those "new sensations", and doesn't know how to move on with his life. At the poker table, I also had a feeling that there were those moments when he wasn't just confused (as he often tends to be) or putting on a poker face. I felt like he feels out of place in a way, like he doesn't yet know what to do with his abilities/with his life, after this event. He is still doing lists to be sure he's back to reality (back to life), after all.

Deep-down, Buck is immensely insecure. And the moment he felt like something he used to be confident about (his abilities to sexually please his partners) may actually hit closer to home than just... you know, ego. They played it for laughs, having him call the women he's slept with. But they might actually turn this around to be something more serious (i.e. a symptom for something else).

Like, Buck is hellbent on pleasing other people, so potentially not being satisfactory in bed may just be the kind of performance anxiety we may see in the next episode. It ties in with Buck's previous fear that his donation isn't good enough, so he spends weeks being horny and hangry thanks to green smoothies.

If I remember correctly from some of the interviews, Buck has no intention to dip his toes back into the dating pool and will basically have the shutters on for now... Which makes it unlikely for me that he's gonna start sleeping around, to be sure that he's good at sex after all.

But if it wasn't just for laughs, I could see the theme of "having the answers already" coming back into play here. Though I'm not sure how. There's just something to that theme of Buck needing his body to be functional, and how it may give him serious anxiety, feeling like his body isn't doing what it's supposed to do (or rather, what he always believed his body was supposed to do).

On a side note: Buck telling Christopher that he likes to measure everything to feel like an actual chef hit a similar mark to me. Like, Buck is overthinking things, which may make him miss the assignment for now. Buck seemingly feels like he's only pretending at things right now (which may feed into his insecurities, really), or like he has to seize control (measuring things, calculating everything, doing those lists, and texting Bobby). Like. There is something there. I just can't wrap my wee head around it just yet.

So yeah, I can very well see Buck continuing to have performance anxiety. And I'd love to see more of that, in all of its awkward facets.

Healing Starts in the Kitchen

Kitchens continue to be the places to be for meaningful conversations for characters, and it seems to be back in full swing for Buck and Eddie. Last episode, Buck found himself finally relax when he was at Eddie's (and on Eddie's couch, hopefully soon just on Eddie). The conversation with Eddie in the kitchen definitely helped him in some ways, but the road ahead of him is still long.

It's an interesting choice that we continue to see Eddie, Buck, and Christopher being this domestic in the kitchen/at dinner tables. Like, we started out this season with Bobby's infamous lasagna and Boggle, and now we're here for math and popcorn and more math and cookies.

Others have already pointed this out, but Buck learns to express his care by cooking for his loved ones (contrast that with takeaway for his parents and waffles for Taylor at a point in their relationship where they were basically done for already). So having him repeatedly cook for/with Christopher and Eddie is just SUCH a big thing, I believe. We're shown that Buck's not just the uncle to come pick Christopher up when Eddie's car's broke. He is alone with Christopher, baking cookies for school with him. He is not just a donor, not just legal guardian (AKA the backup plan) here. And I do believe that part of Buck's journey is going to be to figure out that part of the equation.

We've already established in previous seasons that Buck's apartment is a safe space for Christopher, and it continues to be a second home for him. In the same way Eddie's house proves to be the same for Buck (as we were reminded last episode). Which has me think that part of the equation for Buck is to fully embrace that, or rather, see it for what it is, namely his path to happiness that's been there all along.

Honorable Mentions

Here's a list of things that was sending me:

Everyone of the firefam is a himbo, except for Athena and Karen. Which drives the point home that they're the only ones with the brain cell. Like honestly, Bobby and Chimney instantly jumping on detective work like that??? Buck calling his past sexual encounters??? They're all himbos, your honor!

Denny, take your damn shoes off when you are in bed, you little punk!!! Your moms raised you better than that!!!

Hen at the hospital being like "My husband? The heterosexual audacity!" was everything.

Buck continuing to creep people out with random knowledge now fueled by the power of math. We stan a himbo icon.

Eddie interrupting Buck thinking about women he's had sex with, like "I did not take you out to sexy poker night for you to use your brain for that right now, you traitor!"

I guess RIP to a favorite headcanon of mine that Buck's gonna blurt out at some point that he's screwed with plenty of guys in the past. Because he specifically started to think about the women he's slept with, though the guy was talking about partners (gn), I believe. If the writers wanted to keep that door open, I guess he would've said people or partners or whatever, too. But I shall keep it for fanfiction purposes forever and always. Because that scenario is always sending me places.

Chimney asking if Buck did math, in his head??? No, Chimney, he did it in yours, now get the hell out of here.

Buck calling the women he's had sex with... oh, those phone bills. Also: We stan a himbo icon yet again.

Buck and Eddie, doing crime, dressed in blue and red, looking damn fine. I'm here for every damn second of it.

Christopher's sass being back in full swing. We stan the one true icon.

So yeah, that's it. For now anyway. I guess I'll ramble a lot more. But I rest easy in the knowledge that Buck and Eddie marrying in Vegas just became a possibility.

Cheers!

#buddie #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #911 spoilers #911 season 6 #911 season 6 spoilers #evan buckley #evan buck buckley #eddie diaz #meta #kinda #it's more “in which I ramble and make it everyone else's problem”#but oh well #it's fun

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