#I am litteraly gonna break into his house | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arziaisfrench · 1 year

Text

▪︎ IPKKND Ep 57 : Electricity is back

Their telepatic bond made them feel each other again. They are near to one another. Arnav seems to recognize that weird telepatic windy connection (lol) but Khushi don't. And I think it's beacuse she is still in denial of her feelings (as i already wrote many times, sorry for repeating myself too much).

Khushi tries to hide and Arnav thinks he's own mind is messing with him. "How could she be here?"

She missed him so bad, she can't help but to take a look at his handsome face haha.

Arnav reprimanding himself like "unbelievable man, stop being so delusional. Khushi isn't hiding in your wardrobe dummy! Tf are you thinking?!" haha but he was right !! 😅🤣😂

"Wtf?! Is she real? Am I having illusions now? Stealing every thought and dream isn't enough, damn it? Now, she wants to take away my sanity? Wtf?!"

"Wait ... she's real. Omaigad! Omaigad, it's happening !!! 😂

Arnav can't believe his eyes, finding Khushi hiding in his wordrobe. "Am I day dreaming?"

For the first time since he knew she was leaving, we see him with that much energy ! Khushi's eyes seem also so bright looking straight in his eyes full of disbelieve. They craved seeing each other so bad and now they even share touches, he grabs her arm and she touches his hand.

They missed that electricity so damn much ! Uuugh the chemistry between barun & sanaya is getting more and more intense !! How is it even possible ?! 🔥

He doesn't want to let her go this soon. I love thhe way he clings to her and the way she lets her hand linger on his.

Unlike the last time he saw her, now he tries to stop her from leaving. The last time, he couldn't dare to. Being so close to each other give them so much life, they can't even bother trying to hide the strong effect it has on them : they are so thristy for one another. Arnav doesn't leave her eyes, and Khushi looks few times at his lips hehe !

I love the subtle movement of his hand which tells us how much the touch has affected him. That electric spark is still quivering and he wants to savor every last drop of excitement. He missed that feeling so much !

Khushi has the exact same subtle movement, you just need to pay EXTRA ATTENTION lol and zoom at her hand haha ! I love that detail so much !!!

"What is Khushi doing her?" "I like how Lavanaya break his thought by he reminding him involuntarily that she's his girlfriend LOL but he only cares to know why and how khushi is here.

"-You should know about it. After all you did all the arrangements choete -I just give order .. I don't go to anyone's house to check what they are doing!"

Such a lie Arnav Singh Raizaida! Why being so defensive suddenly haha ?! Did you also secretly search were Khushi could live in Luckdown? Hmhm, I feel like like he did hehe ! 😏

The way he looks at her uuugh !! He litteraly forget everything and everyone around him !

He pulled her so close to him that Khushi is overwhelmed by their closeness, her eyes are so pretty! She can't hide the attraction she feels for him when they are this close, her eyes are lingering on his lips (very sexy if you ask me). Arnav, thirsty, drink her beauty without missing a drop. He tries to read her expressions.

He's very excited to see her again, he's been lifeless since she left him. He wants anwers but his eyes are so soft, he's lost again, drowing in her eyes. Just like her. They could keep looking at each other eyes for hours without the need of words, and let the magical electricity flow through them.

"You said that you'll return back to Lucknow, and will never come back?" "Why did you make me suffer so much if you were gonna comeback? Why did you comeback? Why are you in my house? Because of me? Because you missed me? Did you want to see me again? Please confess, I need it !"

Arnav knew why she was there after Anjali told him. Here, he's asking why would she come to his house if she knew it was HIS house? "Did you want to see me? Why? Did you miss me too? Khushi tell me, please! You didn't move? I had to suffer for no reason?! Did you suffer too?"

But Arnav seeing Kushi in his house after insisting she will leave Dehli because of him started to inconsciously put again some doubts about her motivation. Even if he's happy seeing her, it indeed is a strange coincidence. But she proved him she didn't care about his money when she resigned. So, intead of fully misunderstands her like the first time they met, he tries to not act to rushly, tried to understand.

" -What are you doing here? -"It's because of my helplessness. It's my helplessness, then and even now" Khushi is refering to the first they met here, her praying/asking god to send someone/something in her life to save her, to help her, to find someone who willl support, and protect her, someone who will help her find happiness.

"my helplessness"

I also think khushi chose the best word to describes why she's there lol. Of course, she's talking about the fact that she needed to work BUT she's definitely also talking about her incapacity to deny the pull she feels for him.

And somehow, I feel like Arnav understood she was using this word to stay vague/unclear about what she feels for him.

They are arguing again, they are both on fire ! The tension is delighful to watch. Uuuugh why is the chemistry so freaking damn incredible, especially in this scene ?!?!

Arnav was about to dismiss her attacks by trying to bring up the status thing but he stopped. He knows he misunderstoods her so much in the past, he doesn't want to risk hurting her again to the point of her wanting to leave him, leave Dehli once more.

Arnav was trying so hard to break Khushi's mask with his eyes. "Is she jealous when Lavanya hold me this way? Does she want to hold me? Did she come here for me?"

#ipkknd #ipkkndep57 #arshi #arnav and khushi

4 notes · View notes

noirrrefic-blog · 7 years

Text

I need help

You see the title… It’s pretty pathetic of me to do this, to see I’ve become this desperate to push away what little friends I had and being too scared to talk to anyone.

So I suppose I’m an anxious person. I’m a girl, 17 years old. I used to be so full of myself, a show off even. Fearless. And to see how I am being so scared and think so little of myself…

Here’s my story of how it all srarted. I doubt anyone would see this since I litteraly have no friends whatsoever here on tumblr, not that I even TRIED to make any.

It all started when we moved out of our house to the capital, in a small apartment. My dad never tells us his plans until tge last minute and we have no voice to speak for his decisions. I know he means well to take us there, not that it’d hurt to warn us but we eventually got used to it. Fights and yelling started to increase noticeably compared to usual, from little things such as we’re dirty, lazy, don’t clean up enough. Don’t study enough. So not like our cousins. And it doesn’t help that my brother, my only sibling, was starting to steal more and more oftenly, from us, his family. He became such a great liar and litteraly a useless guy who just eats and shits, on top of being a theif and a liar, he wasn’t even making any effort into his studies. Which all makes more and more pressure on me from my parents “ to not be like him ”. 5 years since we’re here in the capital, every year changing house, I never got to make any good friends and we’re gone. Again and again. At this point, I’m becoming fat, not too much, I just eat out of stress and my dad just keeps commenting on how fat I am, how ugly my face is becoming (assuming it’s from my food although the doctor says it’s hormonal) and basically belittles me on everything. Whatever I do is never enough, be it cleaning, my appearance, cooking, studies or anything. And like whatever bad thing has to be my fault. Even studies, when I clearly do my best in front of him and don’t reach to super grades, he found the new excuse that it’s because of my lack of faith in god. He now uses it for many other things. Years of being repeated the same degrading words and blames I’m accepting them all that they’re true, compared to my model smart perfect cousins? I’m just a pile of shit. I became way too sensitive, cry over every little thing, gaining more weight, my school grades decreasing just the same as my self esteem. I tried several times to make him understand that what he says to me is hurting me, his reply? Something that has to do with god and shit that goes like “ A real friend is the one who offers you your defaults. ” I know. But what about being a parent and giving your child occasional compliments? I get nothing of those. I don’t speak about my mother and brother because I know they’re affected too even though I now hate my brother. I don’t blame them.

Now every night I imagine finally exploding and different scenarios of how it’d go. Mainly of me screaming and breaking things. And then the most unexpected thing is that it happened, like 2 months ago now. And how I regret it and wish I’d just kept it to myself. I did break once my dad kept asking me questions like why are you always so sad you disgust me that you don’t appreciate my efforts and “ Am I a monster?”

I was so pathetic, I just cried loudly. I didn’t know how to answer his questions. And from all scenarios I imagined, I never expected him to react to me like I was possessed or something. Saying those religious words… He just kept pointing out that I was so far gone that I’m even shaking which only made me sob more. I told him, about all how worthless I feel and just wanted encouragement. His reply was mostly just “ You’re just so ungrateful for everything I do to you. Other people don’t live like you. You should be graetful.Now tell me what’s gotten you like this? We’re trying to talk and look at you! You won’t talk, not even look at us– ” No matter what I said he kept repeating that I have to talk. Basically meaning that I wasn’t making any sense so I shouted and got up… the first time I pulled such a stunt, really. I thought to just go back to my room, cry till sleep like usual but then my mom pushed me to the shower and put cold water on me, just as angry as my dad. She too told me “ Calm down. What are you so ungrateful for? Your dad is trying to help and you just ignore him! Do you even realize how lucky you are and you’re just rude! What do you even need? You don’t get enough encouragement with all things we buy you? ” But it’s not about money…. no. I just wanted to feel loved. Instead, she really slapped me. Hard. 4 times. To calm down? I don’t know. But i did stop crying, the slaps didn’t even hurt much. Not like my heart did at that moment. It was like I really never expected that, from all things. I didn’t get hit ever since I was a kid. And I get slapped for breaking down after years of bottling up my feelings? I just stopped caring then. My dad joined and they both kept lecturing me about not reading Quoran and praying and so. So I just agreed with them hoping for it to be over. That it’s still all my fault… well, I suppose it maybe is. Me being so sensitive and all. I know those are my defaults, I’m not like my cousins, I try, never appreciated, but I really tried. But years of hearing the same words just gets me. I just let them speak until they said I should change because I was shaking too much from the cold of the water. I doubt it. I didn’t feel cold. But whatever.

And then….? Hah, right after tomorrow he said he booked tickets for London. For 10 days. The flight was that very night, yet another plan he made without telling us until last minute. Oh, and then I was so right about what I expected was to come, completely ignoring what happened last night, except for the occasional teasing about things I said when crying (which makes me want to burry myself) pointing how I should be happy because others don’t go on such holidays. (Wow. ) And more like getting dragged around the city like dogs behind my dad more than anything else. I kepts getting hurtful comments when I try to help, pretend I was fine. I realize it’s just making me more and more distant from them. Because they clearly will never understand me. But what hurts me most is that I even HAVE to smile. Because trip. Haha. Both my parents keep telling me to at least smile and stop being so selfish. Idk why, but he kept telling me selfish, not just for the lack of smile. Because yes, even when I’m sad I usually ALWAYS am smiling in attempt to brighten the mood. I always get told that I smile a lot from people. And to hear “ You’re not even capable of smiling…” It made me realize that I indeed I’m no longer smiling like “ usual”.

I’m a mess. Really. My only friend and best friend is from another country I met on Facebook. I told her my problens and her only response is that she understands, because she too have similar problems. And now I haven’t been talking to her since the trip when she said I was lucky. I know it’s cheap of me, but I can’t talk to ANYONE. Really. Can’t even go to a psychologist to help me. No one to understand me or tell me " it's gonna be okay" and hug me. I doubt myself so much. I'm scared of holding a phone in front of my family. Scared of being seen drawing. Scared of being seen doing "nothing". So I just close myself in my room, even with so much I have to do and responsabilites, I'm doing nothing.

And thinking of the future… hurts too. Is what I always do. My dreams would never cone true. Not in this country at least. My dad put on my passport that even as an adult I can’t get out of country unless with him. My dream job is to become a comic artist. There are none in my country and I don’t get to join art school. But even work doesn’t matter much to my family since it seems their only goal is for me to get married by forcing me to learn to clean and cook and respect to be ’ a good wife’. The idea completely disgusts me and what scares me that I don’t even have a say in this when the day comes. So I’ll study whatever, at least to keep marriage out of the way…. for now. And funny is that a girl can’t even live on her own in this country. Makes me hate this country, this stupid family. And this stupid religion that was forced on me. I hate it. I hate it all. I wish I had the courage to say it to them.

How I miss little innocent, confident and optimistic me. Full of dreams that seemed so close only to be crushed by reality.

Hah… well, that was long. I’m sure I have more to say even. It’s 4 am and I just wrote whatever came to me. Wish I could write a fanfic this long in so short time, heh….. I’m not sure what people would say even if they went through the trouble to read it. But whoever does, thank you. I appreciate it.

And I still at least got something iff of my chest.

#anxitey #me #sad #depressed #about me #help #help me #rant #random #my story

2 notes · View notes