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ironwoman18 · 4 years

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The Worst Third Date Ever part 20

Chapter 20: We could be heroes, just for one day

The next day Max told her family and her sisters were so excited and her dad was crying happy tears because his second daughter will get married and with a good man.

Spencer also talked to his mother and told her, he proposed and Max said yes. Diana was excited and could not wait for the wedding.

After that the rest of their week was calm, she got an email from the Smithsonian saying she will have a class with children with Mentally Retarded Children and it will be the last test.

Spencer helped her with lots of tips about how to work with them.

"I have an idea, I did it with the first grade kids at school, I gave them a huge piece of paper and pour yellow, blue and red on each one. Then asked them to mix them and do a painting with their hands"

"That's sounds perfect, Mentally Retarded Children are very kinesthetic, they like to touch and feel things, some can't talk so thankfully their mothers will be there to help you. And I'm sure they never did such things like what are suggesting because teachers could be afraid of their mess but if you threat them with love and respect, they will do like preschool kids and clean when you ordered it"

"Ok, sounds awesome Spence" she kissed him and then texted the Smithsonian to let them know what she will need for the course.

"I will send my CV to some universities around Virginia and DC. If they offer me something good I will totally stop been a field agent but keep consulting"

"Is it what you want?"

"Yes, as I told you, I enjoyed teaching and giving lectures" he looked at her "when will be your course?"

She read on her phone "on Friday, why?"

"Aww... I can't go see you. My MRI will be that day" he pouts at her "I wanted to see that class"

"Its ok, I will ask someone to record it for you to see it. Also I always take pictures of the works"

"Great" then they continue to work on their laptops.

He sent his CV to Georgetown University,

George Washington University and some other universities around the town.

When she was done with her job and he sent all the emails, they went to the kitchen and got some icecream and watched a movie.

That week passed quickly and on Friday he went to the hospital after took her to the Smithsonian.

When he arrived the nurse took him to the MRI room, they did the exam and sent it to his doctor then the neurologist called him in.

"Doctor Reid? Hi I'm Doctor Hank Thompson, nice to meet you" a man in his mid-forties, dirty blonde hair, glasses and a kind smile said to him "I will be your neurologist, please follow me" Spencer followed him into his office "ok so the MRI just arrived to my email so we will compare the one Doctor K made you when you arrived and today's to see how is your brain going"

He opened his email and downloaded both exams and put them one next to the other "ok as you can see, this one..." he pointed the screen "...was the first one. There's the blood and your brain was convulsed and swollen. The other is from today"

"It looks better" said Spencer and the doctor nodded.

"Yes, it is much better than I thought. Because you had two seizures and maybe you were two hours without medical help so I'm surprised, even looking at you walking or analyzing a MRI" he smiled "we don't use this word so often but it's truly a miracle you don't have side effects"

"So you think I can go back with my normal life?"

"Not quite... I mean you are better than I thought but still it's dangerous because your brain is still swollen and I will recommend you to stay at home the last two weeks of your medical leave and after that you shouldn't do stressful things like chase criminals into woods or something like that"

"Ok Doctor" said Spencer nodding gently.

"Also you can do fine motor skill to wake your brain and help it do new connections also read and write. It will help your brain. Ok?" Spencer nodded.

"I still get tired reading to much. I love to read so that a problem"

"I understand and it's normal due to the hemorrhage but keep doing for short periods of time, rest an hour or two and continue. It's like exercising your brain" he nodded "well for now that's all. I hope the next time we see each other, your brain is at it's full capacity because for what I saw, it's truly remarkable" he stood up "who is staying with you? Cause Doctor K said you weren't alone"

"My fiancee"

"That's great and congratulations. I wish I could meet her"

"She wanted to come today but she had something important to do so..."

"It's ok and maybe the next to me she will be your wife because I want to set the next date in two months, which I think it's perfect because the brain will be totally fine by that time"

"Ok thank you doctor" Spencer stood up and held his hand "it was nice to meet you" the man nodded and then Spencer walked out to his car.

He drove back to the museum and noticed that Max hadn't finished so he got out the car and walked to where she told him she will be at.

When he arrived he saw her talking with a mother while her child hugged Max. He smiled at that. She kissed the boy's head and the mother walked away meanwhile a guy from the museum was helping her getting her stuffs in her bag.

Spencer walked to her "hey I'm looking for the most beautiful teacher around here" he said using his confused voice.

Max turned and smirked "oh and how does this teacher look like?" She asked playing his game.

"Well she has this beautiful wavy light brown hair and stunning brown eyes" he smiled at her as he walked towards her.

"Um... I'm not sure I saw her, mister, maybe look in the other auditorium" she also walked to him "but you know what, I gotta say, she is very lucky that this tall and handsome man is looking for her"

He blushed softly and looked at her as they were face to face "how was your day?" He held her hand.

"Amazing, those kids were fantastic, their enthusiasm for the activity was out of the scale"

"That's great, and when I arrived I saw you talking to a woman with her child"

"Yeah, she is Mrs. Rodriguez, she was thankful for this activity. Her son loves arts but the other teachers just let this group work with crayons, I'm the first one who use other things to let them paint" her eyes started to fill with tears "she and the other mothers were pleased with this and they hope I get the job"

Spencer hugged her as she placed her face on his chest "you made the difference today and I'm sure you will get this Max" he kissed her head.

"H...how was your MRI?" She looked up at him.

"It was great. The doctor said I need to do some fine motor skills and reading to help my brain getting better but it's not as swollen as the last one. He insisted on take the full time of my medical leave. He set my next appointment in two weeks"

"That's great and I will take good care of you" she smiled and rubbed his cheek "want to eat out today? I want pizza" she laughed softly.

"Sure, need help with anything?"

"No I got these" he nodded then both of them walked to his car talking about the course.

She told him everything and when they were waiting for their pizza she showed him pictures of the painting. They were messy but beautiful and she could not be more happy with the results.

After that the third week was more relaxed. They went to her dad's house to watch old horror movies. They were black and white and Spencer brought some more modern movies but still classics.

The last week of his medical leave he got an email from Georgetown University, they wanted him to be part of his staff. They payment was good and the schedule was perfect for him. So after that he asked Emily for a meeting.

She told him to go on Wednesday afternoon to talk. When the day arrived he explained Emily what he was thinking about the job, how dangerous it was and that he will build a family with Max and he did not want to be like his father, who left them when he was a kid.

He decided to be a consultant for the BAU and teach at Georgetown University. Emily understood his decision and wished him good luck. He will fly with them and see the evidence but he will not have to take risks.

And he will have always permission to miss a case when he had a class. Spencer thanked her and hugged her.

Then she informed him about the party Rossi organized for Penelope. She will be leaving the bureau to join a company that protects the environment. He was invited and Max too.

Meanwhile Max was at the bullpen talking with the team members about her recent job offer and their engagement.

All the girls were throwing ideas about it and were excited about it. When he walked out JJ walked towards him and smiled "well congratulations on your engagement Spence" she hugged him and he hugged her back.

"Thank you JJ. I was so nervous at that moment, I don't know how I performed that magic trick with shaking hands"

"You can do those tricks with your eyes closed so I'm not surprised at all" she laughed "I can't wait to see that because I truly believe you deserve your happy ending" she smiled at him.

"Thank you JJ" he smiled back and then walked to Max and the team talked some more then the couple left to the apartment.

When the day of the party arrived they got ready two hours before and then they left to Rossi's house.

Both of them walked in with Tara "Oh, not tonight you're not, my friend. This is gonna be the celebration to end all celebrations. Full commitment everyone" said Tara.

"You got it" said Rossi.

"Can't believe it. The band is breaking up" said Will with JJ by his side.

"How you feeling, kid?" Asked Dave to Reid.

"I'm feeling great, and I'm starting back next week. Can't let the team be down two members" he said smiling looking at them holding Max hand.

"Oh, come on, teaching and consulting?" Said Tara "you're making me look bad"

"Just doing what I love" he looked at Max then added "also Dave, you didn't know because you were recovering from your foot but... um... Max and I are going to get married"

"Oh! Congratulations kid" Rossi smiled at him and Max.

"I will drink to that" added Luke standing next to Max.

"Uh, you're not supposed to start the festivities until the Belle of ball has arrived" screamed Penelope walking out to the backyard.

"Don't worry, ok" said Luke handing her a cup of champagne. Spencer held up a glass of water since he cannot drink alcohol yet "cause this is gonna be the first of many"

"Penelope, congratulations" said Kristy "here I thought we were coming to celebrate Dave's retirement, but Matt said it was your farewell party. And you had like a hundred offers"

"Oh, that's only of you round up, but yes" they all laughed softly "anyways, it's nonprofit, it's close to here, and the dress code isn't all FBI conservative like I've been having to do" they all rolled their eyes because they all know she never really followed that code.

"I'm still in denial that you're leaving so..." commented JJ.

"It won't be the same without you" said Matt.

"Better not be"

"Dave decided he wasn't going to retire. He didn't want the team to go through too much of a transition all at once" explained Emily.

"That's cause Dave's never gonna actually do it" said Krystall as they all laughed.

"Hey, look, being with you all, doing what few others can, that's where I belong" the night was starting but some team members already had tears after that "but this night is not about me. To our beloved Penelope"

"Ohh!"

They all raised their cups and said at the same time "A salut" and clinked the cups.

They then when to the table as others people from the FBI and that were friends with her arrived.

"Ok guys I decided to invite two people that were part of the team and they couldn't miss this. Come in guys" then Derek with his family and Hotch with Jack walked in and Penelope had tears in her eyes as she walked to them hugging Jack, Savannah, little Hank, Hotch and lastly Derek.

"Baby girl how I missed you" he said hugging her tight "I'm happy you finally find what make you truly happy" he smiled at her.

"My chocolate thunder always surprising me" she laughed with tears "now stop with the tears and let's get this party started"

Then the DJ put some music and they dance and sing. They even danced and sang Heroes by David Bowie.

After the song was ending Luke and Penelope walked to drink some water and Max called JJ, Tara and Emily "hey I was wondering, is just me or those two like each other?" She pointed at them.

"It's not just you" said the three at the same time.

"What? About Garvez? Is it how you called Tara?" The woman nodded to Matt "we all made a bet, about when he will ask her to go on a date"

"Really?" Looking at Spencer.

"I bet it will take them three months in November"

"I bet in six months" comment JJ "but I think already lost, because look at them" they all turned. Emily could read his lips asking her out.

"Yeah I think Reid won this time" they all got out their money and handed it to him.

"What's up guys?" Asked David.

"Luke asked Penelope to go on a date"

"Garvez is endgame?" Asked Krystall and all nodded "who had the closed bet?" They all pointed to Spencer "not fair, the math boy always win" she said as she and Dave handed him money.

Then the other two walked over to them and looked their smirks "oh guys... you didn't, did you?" Asked Luke raised an eyebrow "who won?" Spencer raised his hand "you are evil" he laughed and looked at them.

"What...?" Penelope was blushing when she realized what was happening. She took the girls apart to tell them the details, including Krystall, Kristy and Max.

"I'm glad you decided to do it bro" said Matt.

"Yeah... I know the team and the FBI has a policy of not dating but some agents broke it but I don't know, I didn't want it to be awkward for her or even myself"

"I understand that. I would be awkward being in love with a coworker" commented Spencer "but now you can have dates without worrying about protocols and she will understand your job"

"Right, Lisa never fully understood this"

Later that night Emily took the stage "Penelope reminds all of us that change is good... painful, but good. And as much pain as Lynda Barnes caused all of us, she inspired me to change. So I'm cutting all my hair off. Get ready" they all laughed at that as she smiled.

Then it was JJ's turn to speak "So, um, I've grown up with Penelope, not as kids, but as adults" she laughed looking at her "and she has become my sister..." all of them looked at Penelope "there for me wherever I've found myself. Once she said that I was the glue that kept this team together. But we all know that that was really you" they both lifted their cups holding tears.

And last but not least Penelope took the stage "so we're at the beginning of the end. And this time next week, we're not gonna be together like we have been for as long as I can remember" she sighed and continued "I need you each to know that you hold a really special place in my heart. And... I wanna freeze right now. I wanna soak this in" she looked around looking at each one of them, her friends, her family "there, I did. Thank you for letting me be a part of this for so long" all of the presents had tears "and thank you for remembering me that there is an infinite amount of heroism and kindness in the world, no matter how bleak it seems. My favorite band says the love you take is equal to the love you make. So instead of a toast, I want to make a promise, can we please promise that no matter where we go after this that we keep this feeling in our hearts? Cheers"

"Salut!" Said all of them and drink their champagne and, in Spencer's case, water.

It was the perfect closure of the night. A night of celebration and a night of farewells.

OOooOOooOO

I hope you liked it and we will read sooner. Max and Spencer have a wedding to plan and later having a baby, because we all want to see Spencer been a father.

I will try to also add some double date with Maxcer and Garvez. I will need to think about it but I think it could be fun.

#spencer reid #criminal mind #maxine brenner #maxcer #fanfiction

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aliceslantern · 5 years

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Beyond This Existence, chapter 18

Summary: After Xehanort's death, Demyx finds himself unexpectedly human in Radiant Garden. With nothing but fragments of his past and a cryptic statement from Xemnas, he's left to figure out who he is. When Ienzo asks for his help with a project, the two find common ground, but the trauma and secrets in both of their pasts could tear it apart. Zemyx (Demyx/Ienzo), post-KH3 canon compliant Read it on FF.net/on AO3

-----

The weeks wore on, one into the other. Coping with the mass amounts of chaos in his memory never became easier, but at least it was bearable now that he was no longer so alone. Demyx’s days took on a quiet sort of comfort. Studying, songwriting, socializing, and yes, therapy. Telling someone else these things was hard, but keeping it to himself was even harder. Similarly, listening to Ienzo’s own stories was no cakewalk. Their lives had been infinitely complicated and troubling.

With all this behind them, there was a start of a real sort of life, not the odd buffering phase of the previous few months. The castle was no longer so dreadfully uncomfortable, conversations between Demyx and the others no longer so stilted. He was starting to develop real friendships with these people. Oddly enough, Demyx found that aside from Ienzo, he was closest to Even. He’d taken an interest in healing theory as well, though more as a pet fascination than a vocation. Every now and again, Even gave him tests. It was his own way of reaching out.

“... How’d I do?” Demyx asked. He hadn’t had much written education of any kind, but at least the tests were something concrete to work toward. More structured than Aerith’s “give me a call when you finish the book” method of teaching.

“In all? Not bad.” Even passed the papers back. “Chemistry is your worst subject. But you knew that.”

“It’s the math.” Demyx skimmed the results and found that, overall, he’d done better than he’d thought. “I just can’t understand it.”

“Well--when it comes to calculating molarity--it’s typically just memorization of the base compounds.”

“And algebra.”

“For some reason I highly doubt you’ll have to deal much with kinesthetics in your everyday work. And if you do I’m a phone call away. I rather enjoy figuring it out.” He started shuffling through the sea of papers on his desk. “It gives me something to break the endless tedium of my days, anyway.”

“You’re not going to work on the Replica Program anymore?”

Even drew the hair out of his face. “On one hand, I believe that project has reached its peak. The replicas have gotten to a point where they’ve developed their own personhood, and their own hearts. That was the goal, to a degree. I’m of course going to study them as they age to see if they live out the same lives as ordinary humans. On the other…” He waved his wrist, as though dismissively. “What right have I to create new life? Now that I am becoming human, I feel more responsibility towards the way these replicas are treated. It’s as if I were to give birth. I suppose there might be a medical application to the creation of vessels--say, if someone were to be seriously injured or lose all neurological function--but again, what right have I to continue to meddle with such forces?”

“I can’t help you with that one,” Demyx said.

“No, it’s something for me to puzzle over. In the meantime, I’m going to continue to reflect on the ongoing intersection between magic and science within my life. It seems… most apt.”

“Why did you become a scientist?”

“Hm?” The question seemed to throw him off-guard.

“You’ve been with Ansem longer than anyone else. Why’d you do it?”

Even thought about it. “Why is it you play sitar?”

Demyx shrugged. “It’s just part of me. Always has been. If it hadn’t been sitar it probably would have been some other instrument. That one just happened to be given to me first.”

“Precisely. It’s part of your core, perhaps for no real reason. Or many real reasons, if you subscribe to fate or a divine. That is how I feel about my research. I could not separate the essence that is “me” from it. This is merely another phase of my life, and so I need to adjust my work accordingly.”

“To what?”

“Something that I hope is meaningful. I do not yet know what exactly.” He smiled. “Learning to change and grow after nearly twelve years of stagnation is taking most of my concentration.”

“It’s hard, isn’t it?” he mumbled, more to himself than Even.

“Incredibly.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll quiz you on the next three chapters next week.”

Demyx sighed. “No problem.”

----

Demyx was headlong into these chapters when Ienzo found him. With half his mind he was trying to figure out how to make the song he played better, the other half trying to puzzle out the complicated terminology. He wasn’t aware of his surroundings.

“How is it going?” Ienzo asked.

Demyx jumped, a discordant note throwing him off the melody.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Demyx let Arpeggio disappear. “It helps me remember, if I play,” he said. “Otherwise I can’t focus. If I read a chapter enough while playing a certain song, it sticks. I tried it the other way. I don’t know how you guys learn stuff.”

“Everyone studies differently,” Ienzo said. “So you’re really going to do it?”

“That’s the plan,” he said. “She told me to read these before I came to her for the practical stuff.” Demyx shifted the books around.

Ienzo kissed him lightly.

“So what’s going on with you? I figured you were working on something, but I don’t know what.”

“Well, actually, that’s kind of why I came to find you.”

“The score? Ienzo, you realize I can just read it to you, right?” He hadn’t yet looked back at it. In a way, he wasn’t ready, even though he knew what the contents were.

He shook his head. “Not that. Though I would like to know what’s in it, if you’re not afraid to share. No.” He took the lexicon out from under his arm. “I’m afraid there’s something only you can help me with.”

He smirked. “What was it you said? “If you want to be alone with me you need only ask?””

“What? Do I really speak like that? Never mind-- no, this is something else.” Ienzo sighed. His cheeks were pink. “I want to go to the basement.”

Demyx bit his lip. He’d had a feeling this was coming. Ienzo had been making leaps and bounds dealing with his guilt. No doubt he wanted to make true peace with it. “Okay. Two things. First, not a great idea, all things considering. Second, why me? Why not Ansem or Even or someone else who was involved in the experiments?”

“You’ve got a weapon.” Very matter-of-fact.

He felt the blood drain from his face. “So--let me get this straight. You want to go to the basement--where it’s crawling with Heartless and god-knows-what-else, not to mention where you’ve seen enough horror to go gray prematurely--”

“I haven’t gone gray. This is my natural hair color.”

“Babe, the last time you remembered something half as horrible you went kinda ballistic. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I’ve healed since then,” he said. “I have this--” he held out the lexicon, “whatever it means. I think the only way I can find peace is by helping them. Talking with them. Maybe I can help them find some little bit of dignity.”

Demyx exhaled, exasperated. “And do you really trust me to defend you? I’m out of shape, and I have no idea how strong the Heartless down there even are.”

He frowned. “What is this really about?” Ienzo asked. “Are you truly afraid of a few Heartless?”

Demyx didn’t know what to say, just that his gut was telling him this was an awful idea. “I guess not,” he said. “I just… I’m afraid that going down there and seeing all that will change how I see you. And I don’t want that to happen.”

Ienzo took his hands. “I know that. And it might change your mind. But I… I need to do this. I hope you understand.”

Demyx knew what had happened in the basement. Maybe he didn’t know all the details--the how or why of it all--but he knew Ienzo had been involved in this dangerous human experimentation. He knew, factually, that Ienzo couldn’t really be at fault, that he’d been a child and too young to accept responsibility, especially since he'd been so manipulated. But at the same time, Demyx knew seeing all of it would be a different story. It would make it tangible. And yet. “You’d do the same for me. Alright. Let’s free some ghosts, or whatever.”

Ienzo kissed him. “I love you.”

“I can’t say no to you. But you knew that.” He marked the place in his book and set it aside. “I’d feel better if we got some supplies. And if you rested. You look exhausted.”

“So tomorrow?”

He nodded. “Tomorrow.”

----

Later that night, while Ienzo read in bed, Demyx headed down to Even’s quarters. Slick, hot anxiety was building inside of him, making him vaguely anxious. He knocked, was let in. Even was folding laundry. “Did you need help with something?” he asked. Then frowned. “You do not look well.”

Demyx didn’t know what to say. “Ienzo wants to go to the basement.”

He paused just the slightest. “Yes. And?”

“Well--what if something’s down there?”

“I thought you could adequately defend yourself now?”

“It’s not me I’m worried about.” He exhaled and pulled his hand through his hair. “He’s got the lexicon. What if he tries using his powers again?”

Even shook his head. “He’s aware of the risk. I doubt he’d try.”

“What if he doesn’t do it consciously?”

He raised an eyebrow. “I had the impression it took a lot of effort for him to traverse your memory.”

“But he couldn’t control it. I don’t know what this is going to entail. If I’m just going to beat up some Heartless, or maybe there’s nothing down there and this is just for closure. But what if.”

“Since when was forethought a strength of yours?” Even asked, almost bitterly. “Boy, now you’re making me worry.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know who else to ask.”

Even sighed. He set aside the socks he was folding. “Come along.”

They went down to his lab. Even pulled out a first aid kit, some ethers, and some potions. He approached another cabinet and took out a vial and a syringe still in its wrapping. He placed them on the table.

“You’re aware of the correlation at this point, of heart failure and overuse of power.”

“Well--yes.” The sight of the medicine made him shiver.

“I’ve been poking through our research. The reason why it struck Ienzo so intensely has largely to do with the fact that he quite literally grew up as a Nobody. Trying to adequately corroborate his humanity with a Nobody will served to heighten the risk. It may not happen again. Perhaps he’s adjusted. At the same time… it may.”

“What’s that?”

“A serum to induce sleep. Should he begin to exhibit the same symptoms, you should dose him. And then call for help. I’m giving this to you as a precaution only.” Even unwrapped the syringe, prepped it, and then capped it off. Demyx caught sight of the label on the bottle. He knew enough by now to recognize it.

“That’s a poison. Not a sedative.”

“Sleep akin to death,” Even said, as though quoting. “Better than actual death, is it not?” He held it out. Demyx didn’t take it.

“I can’t.”

“You must. This is--” He exhaled. “For goodness sakes, you might not even need it.” Even placed it on the table in front of him. “Have you tried convincing him out of it?”

“Yes. But how can we escape it? We live here. He’s reminded of it every day. If it’s not now, it’d be some other time.”

“The boy is… determined.” He sighed. “I’m trusting you with this. With him. Do you understand?”

Demyx nodded.

“So take it.”

He took all the medicine back with him, feeling sick. He hid the syringe in the first aid kit and tried to pretend it wasn’t there.

Ienzo was still caught up in his book. “Did you get everything you needed?” he asked.

“Oh, plenty,” he said breezily. “How do you feel?”

“Surprisingly, not as anxious as I thought.” He shut the book and settled down in bed.

“Can I… stay with you tonight?”

Ienzo frowned. “Of course.” He lifted the covers and let Demyx crawl in. He drew Ienzo close, breathed in his smell. “I’m not sure why you felt like you had to ask. You scarcely sleep in your own bed anymore.”

“Dunno. I figured you might want some time alone.”

“I have spent a lot of time thinking about this alone. I don’t mind the company.”

Demyx looked at him. His eyes bright and alive. He kissed him once. Ienzo settled down against him and was asleep before long.

Demyx did not sleep a wink.

----

Morning. Breakfast. He bathed, feeling vaguely numb and dissociated, slightly outside of himself. When he saw Ienzo in his apprentice’s coat, he almost wondered if this was a bizarre dream. He gathered up their bag of supplies.

“You sure you want to do this?” Demyx asked.

“Yes. I’m sure.”

He sighed. “Lead the way, then.”

He followed him through the corridors, through the familiar, then down dozens and dozens of stairs to a locked door. The air down here was cold, and it smelled dank and musty. Crystal sconces lit everything brightly, but at the same time he felt as though he was squinting in the gloom. At the door, Ienzo hesitated.

“Did you forget the code?” Demyx asked.

Ienzo summoned the lexicon. The soft rustle of its pages barely broke the suffocating silence. Demyx felt his heart in his throat. This was not a good sign. Ienzo meant business. Demyx tried to tell him then what might happen. But he had to know. There was no way he couldn't, right?

He punched in the code, and in they went.

It did not look dissimilar to the containment cells of the Castle that Never Was. Gray floor. Black and silver doors. Stark, harsh fluorescent light. A couple of these spaces were offices, and what looked to be a small lab. Papers were everywhere, all over the floors. Beakers had been smashed, a computer screen cracked. Ienzo took it all in with little emotion.

The smoky, musty smell only ever got stronger. “They smell us,” Demyx said. He brought an arm up in front of Ienzo automatically. He pushed it away.

“Not yet.”

They moved forward bit by bit. Ienzo absently touched the numbers on the cells, peeking inside here or there. Demyx didn’t see anything, but he could taste it. The cells were riddled with scratch marks, places where the floor had been gouged away. A sink bad been torn out of the wall. A mattress ripped to shreds.

“There’s no one here,” Demyx said.

“Don’t speak so soon,” Ienzo said.

A silhouette of pure darkness crawled out of the ground. It looked weirdly human in shape, more like a Novashadow than the little Shadows he was used to. It did not give chase, but seemed to merely watch them.

Darkness began to slither out of the back cells, forming yet more Shadows. “Freaky,” he hissed. The Keyblade snapped into his palm. One rose out of the pool and shuffled towards them. “Stay behind me.”

“Not yet,” Ienzo said. He crouched down, and Demyx almost screamed, but the darkness on the floor didn’t crawl over him like it normally would’ve. “Do you remember me?”

Was he talking to the Heartless? It paused, tilted its head.

“I was little then,” Ienzo said. “Not anymore.”

The Shadow twitched and shuddered. A few more peeked out. “What are you doing?” Demyx asked.

“Giving it the Sora treatment.” He exhaled. “Put that away. We’re not here to hurt you all. Isn’t that right?”

The blade in his hand trembled a little.

“Demyx?” Ienzo prompted.

He let it disappear. Raised his hands, as if to show how empty they were.

Ienzo smiled kindly at the Heartless. “You’ve been here for such a long time, so alone.” The lexicon opened to a random page, of a little girl. “Isn’t that right, Jamie? That’s you, right?” He held the book out to the Heartless. It seemed to stare at the page within, of the photo. “I wanted to apologize for all we put you through. There was a bad, bad man. He made all the people around him sick with evil. And they took it out on you. On me, too. And my friend next to me. That doesn’t make it right, but the bad man’s gone and everyone wants to help you.”

The Heartless seemed to convulse.

“I can’t imagine it’s fun down here. There’s nobody and nothing to play with. But there’s another place with lots of friends waiting for you.”

The Shadow raised a claw.

“Ienzo,” Demyx hissed. Ienzo held out his hand.

The Shadow placed its claw on the photo of the girl. It was not twitching anymore, not in the way Heartless usually did.

“Do it now,” he whispered. “She’s ready.”

He slashed. The Heartless had no defense; it was almost made of smoke. Its heart rose and vanished into nothing. Demyx was shaking. “Oh my god,” he said. “Are you… are you okay? I should’ve given you my coat.” He gave him a good once-over. No threads of darkness, no injury.

“I’m fine. Let’s keep going.”

“How many are there?”

“Left? I’m not sure. But these aren’t ordinary Heartless. This was the genesis.”

The Heartless, having seen all this, did not flee the way they were akin to when their brethren died. They came forward in a lump. They did not attack. They left plenty of space between them and Ienzo.

“They’re making a line,” Demyx said.

“They want to be free.” He smiled. His eyes were watering. “Who wants to know who they are?”

It took hours.

Ienzo gave nearly every Heartless the same speech, but he altered it slightly, peppering in details he must have read somewhere--information about a beloved pet, a favorite color, updates about loved ones who were still alive. Humanizing them. It was only once this semblance of humanity was found that they could go. Peacefully.

Even though the Heartless were weak, the fact that there was so many of them and that this was stressful to watch tired him. He waited for one to break rank, to attack and injure. None did, though.

“Are you alright?” Ienzo asked. Demyx had been standing to his right and noticed his full face for the first time in hours. He was sweating, his complexion washed out. Demyx swallowed. No.

“Just a bit out of shape,” he said breezily. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel fine.”

More speeches. More Heartless. Demyx was wondering if it was just his eyes playing tricks on him, or if Ienzo was looking worse. Pale. Shaky. No blood yet. But soon? The darkness was getting thinner and thinner until there were no more Heartless waiting.

“Is that it?” Demyx asked hoarsely. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“Yes, that was--” He calculated quickly, then furrowed his brows. “Ninety-nine. There’s one left. Maybe it’s hiding? Can you handle one more?”

“I think. You?”

He nodded. When he stood, his knees shook, and Demyx helped him up. He was getting weak. They had to get out of here, to get medical help. Demyx tried to covertly steer him in the opposite direction. “Why did they forgive me?” Ienzo asked.

“What do you mean?”

“The bitterness… they just let it go. Without fail. There was not even one rogue Shadow that tried to attack.” His eyes were wide.

“They’ve been here ten years,” Demyx said. “That’s a long time to suffer. Sometimes you have to let it go to make the pain stop.”

He looked at his trembling palm. “I see. I… understand.”

Demyx glanced over his shoulder. “I think we’ve found our stowaway.”

It was the humanoid Heartless, the first one they’d seen. They approached it slowly.

“We’re here to help,” Demyx said. “Do you want to go be with your friends?”

The Heartless paused. It twitched irritably.

“Ienzo,” Demyx said nervously. “Maybe start working your magic, yeah? My buddy here seems a little agitated.” He was positive that it was stronger than the last. Strength sapped, Demyx didn’t know if he could honestly take it on.

A hint of panic crept into Ienzo’s voice. “I can’t--” He started manually shuffling the pages. “I can’t find their--”

The Neoshadow hissed. Demyx drew his Keyblade. “Come on. Let’s talk this out,” he said. “I’m offering you a get-out-of-jail free card here, friend.”

Once it lay eyes in the Keyblade, the Heartless screamed. The sound almost incapacitated him, harsh, like razors against his eardrums. It leapt at him.

Demyx found himself awash in darkness.

#beyond this existence #demyx #ienzo #even #zemyx #demyx/ienzo

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dipshithqs · 5 years

Text

☠ ◞ ashton moio . 23 . cismale . he/him . › is that rocco mena i see walking through the campgrounds ? i can’t believe that the sagittarius is spending their summer here . i heard that MOUSE is a pizza delivery boy when they’re at home in chandler , arizona . but while they’re here , i’ve seen them stuffing his face while humming all night longer by sammy adams . i’ve called them the village idiot but that’s only because of their PLAYFUL and DIMWITTED tendencies . apparently , they’re back at camp silver lake this year because he missed the place . ‹ played by t , he/they , 18+ , mst . ›

INTRODUCTION

name. rocco age. 23 birthday. 11/23 sexuality. heterosexual

EXTENDED

full name. rocco spencer mena pronunciation. ROCK-oh SPEHN-suhr meh-NUH meaning of name. “rest” aliases. mouse, ,rocky, roc gender. cismale pronouns. he/him species. human zodiac sign. sagittarius hometown. chandler, arizona occupation. pizza delivery boy/camp counselor label. the village idiot faceclaim. ashton moio

RUNDOWN

🍕 a Very Dumb™ 🍕 obsessed w/ rap/hip-hop and constantly tries to write his own songs 🍕 super bad at writing but actually a decent rapper 🍕 generally liked by the kids ,, , mostly bc they can get away w/ a lotta shit w/ him 🍕 pinterest board 🍕 has been a pizza delivery boy fr 3 years 🍕 was a clerk n a babysitter before that 🍕 never taken seriously 🍕 loves energy drinks 🍕 still lives w/ his parents 🍕 developed a panic disorder n started getting panic attacks at 13 ,, , after his first run at camp silver lake 🍕 Would Rather Be Sleeping 🍕 bit of a momma’s boy 🍕 spotify playlist 🍕 a Good Choice if all you wanna do is sit around n eat cheetos all day 🍕 been skateboarding since he was 9 🍕 was close friends w/ 3 out of the 10 kids that disappeared 🍕 parties like a frat boy

QUESTIONS

why are they labeled as the trope that you applied for ? remember that kid in class that used to sit at the table during arts and crafts time just eating glue and putting stickers on his face ? that was mouse ... . ... and he hasn’t changed, ,,,he’s labeled the village idiot ‘cause homeboy is dumb as dirt ! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! !! a safety hazard. w/ the kinda luck he has too,,, he’d end up getting someone else ( along with himself ) killed ,,, fortunately, , where he lacks intelligence ... . n luck ,, , he makes up for in friendliness who are some of their character inspirations ? ( bonus points if you list some horror movie or television show characters ) gOd i wish i had more characters frm horror movies/tv but highkey philip j. fry from futurama, , a dash of charlie kelly from it’s always sunny in philidelpha,, touch of michael kelso from that ‘70s show minus the narcissism ( tho mouse has his moments ), ,,,, , andy dwyer from parks and recreation ,, , lowkey xander harris from buffy the vampire slayer do you think they’d run into danger or run away from it ? it depends tbh, ,,but probably run away , ,, like 93% of the time he’d run away what are the worst parts of their personality ? o god he is so. .. .. .. .. .. .... ..... ..so dumb, ,,fatally dumb, ,, , keep-your-distance dumb,, ,, actually making him annoying at times ( especially in serious situations ) ,, , n he can b V lazy so asking him to do. .. ... Anything .. ... can b such a Chore, ,, this makes him appear selfish at times,,, as well what are some connections that they would have formed at camp the first time they were around ? his main focus would’ve probably been the boys at camp the first go around, ,, since he was just set on having fun w/ a group a friends n girls just seemed Annoying at the time,,, , so BROS !!!!!! [ insert me and the boys meme here ] there’s a possibility he’d gotten a hardcore crush at camp the second go around ( at 14 ) tho are they nervous about returning back to camp silver lake ? why or why not ? noooooo he is v much Excited to b returning,, , thanks to his good ol’ ‘ subconsiously blocking out tramatic experiences ’ method ,, ,albeit ... .. . he didn’t expect to come back ,, , but couldn’t resist what’s their favorite scary movie ? so hard !!!! he’s def more into comedy or cartoons than scary or gore but he can b down fr a good funny horror ,, ,,, probably tucker and dale vs evil finally, what are some connections you’d like for them to have ? ( please list a minimum of three ) would fckn Love something along the lines of those two guys/heterosexual life-partners (shaggy/scooby, jay/silent bob, monty/jasper, etc) pLease ,,, might b pushing it but maybe something like cloudcuckoolander’s minder ?? listen .. ... ... ..he’s gonna die Quick w/o a smack whenever he tries to do smthn stupid (n thts all th time fjds),, !!! just friends !!! r smthin like it,, , def can see him crushing on someone, ,trying to hit on ‘em,,, , pulling out those cheesy pick up lines n they just Do Not Want , ,,,, ,lbh he’s not bf material, ,, ,, ok but i'm down fr aaannnnyyyytttthhhiinnngggg tho honstly it’s cool to just come up w somethin on the fly, ,, pLS HMU !!!!!!!

APPEARANCE

height. 5′8″ weight. 138 lbs eyes. brown hair. dark brown race. hispanic/latino nationality. american complexion. beige build. scrawny voice. x scent. cheese dust,, fruity pebbles, ,,body spray

RELATIONSHIPS

parents. donté + maría siblings. jamie children. none enemies. none ( that he knows of )

MENTAL

education. high school languages. english, spanish disorders. panic disorder habits. eating 'til he passes out, ,taking looooong ass naps ,, ,playing on his skateboard in the cabins ,, ignoring his general duties as a councellor/steering the kids off course

TRAITS

positive. optimistic, supportive, playful, tenderhearted, easygoing negative. lazy, dimwitted, self-indulgent, immature, careless

CHARACTERIZATION

moral alignment. neutral good jung. enfp-a enneagram. the peacemaker four temperaments. phlegmatic tropes. crying wolf, the ditz, buffy speak, dumb is good, too dumb to live, kindhearted simpleton, casanova wannabe, manchild, butt-monkey, the slacker, know-nothing know-it-all, fun personified, extreme omnivore, cloudcuckoolander, adorkable, unfazed everyman, innocently insensitive archetypes. the performer, the caregiver, the rebel aura. red tarot card. the sun

ATTRIBUTES

strength. 3/10 dexterity. 4/10 magic. 0/10 cunning. 2/10 willpower. 4/10 constitution. 8/10

INTELLECT

musical-rhythmic intelligence. 6/10 visual-spatial intelligence. 2/10 verbal-linguistic intelligence. 3/10 logical-mathematical intelligence. 1/10 bodily-kinesthetic intelligence. 3/10 interpersonal intelligence. 6/10 intrapersonal intelligence. 5/10 existential intelligence. 6/10 naturalistic intelligence. 2/10

#slasher.intro #( this is all tf over the place )

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wenamedthedogkylo · 7 years

Note

Dash: D1-5, E2, G1, H1, I5, J3, K1, K10, L4, L5

D1: How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?

Dash is what would be considered an atheist, but they follow the teachings of their organization’s teachings and principles. The Circle of the Twisted Fang worships Almaw’t (Death), so while Dash doesn’t give praise to or worship Death as a deity, they hold to the principles of the Circle that have come from that worship. The Circle is very chill like that, they don’t force their members to worship so long as they still hold to the principles.

D2: Do they believe in an afterlife?

Not really. Dash finds the idea of an afterlife rather pointless. What’s the purpose of leaving this world behind only to go, essentially, to another one? They’re much more comforted by the idea that death will mean proper rest—that is to say, nothingness.

D3: How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

Extremely. The Circle is an organization of assassins formed specifically to kill people so that normal people do not have to sully their souls with the act. Dash makes their living specifically by killing people for a lot of money. They are very comfortable with death.

D4: Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be?

I think that’s where some of their mentality on death comes from, actually. They believe there’s no point to dying if there’s an afterlife because you’d just be continuing on living in a sense, at least the way they see it. So either they should be immortal and not worry about dying at all, or death should just mean an end to everything. I don’t think they particularly care, though, like if they were offered immortality they’d just shrug and say sure, but it wouldn’t be a big deal to them.

D5: Do they believe in ghosts? If not, why? If so, do they think they’re magical/tie into their religion, or are they scientifically plausible?

Not in the traditional sense of ~ooooo spooky specter of a dead person oooooo~, mostly because of their views on the afterlife. But they do believe that the dead can leave impressions on a place they frequented in life or died in. So if a place saw an unusual number of horrific deaths, it will probably have a distinctly uncomfortable feeling to it, and might even have been changed or affected by the pain and horror that happened there. If a place had a very peaceful death or was inhabited by someone who was very peaceful in life, then their imprint on that place will coordinate.

E2: Which of the nine types of intelligence is your OC strongest in? Weakest? (Linguistic, existential, naturalist, et cetera)

I think Dash is stronger in Body-Kinesthetic intelligence, though they also have a good deal of aptitude in Linguistic and Naturalist. Their weakest points would be Interpersonal and Intrapersonal, as they don’t really do people or feelings.

G1: Is your OC close to their family?

That depends on your definition of family. If you mean the family they were born into, no, not at all. They left that family behind when they left to join the Circle, and part of joining the Circle is to leave all familial and friendship attachments behind. Their life before the Circle is no more, and while they are grateful to have had that life so that they could get where they are now, they have no emotional attachment to it or to the people they were related to. In fact, they mostly don’t really remember that point of their life. If family can mean the Circle, then in a way yes, they’re close to their family. The Circle discourages forming emotional attachments between people and Dash has taken that to heart, but they are loyal to the Circle and consider it to be their “family”, following their teachings, protecting them and their interests, etc.

H1: What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?

Dash is pansexual—being nonbinary themself, they don’t give a hoot about gender. In fact, sexuality and all that doesn’t really matter to them at all. They don’t think about it, it’s not a big influence on their life particularly because their career and principles mean they don’t get attached to people in that way, and it’s never caused them any stress or grief. They’ve always been NB and pan, it’s just who they are, and for them and everyone around them that’s very much a non-issue. They have slept with people in the past, but it was always a very one time thing, more for the experience or to let off some steam.

I5: Are they a good cook?

They’re not a gourmand, but they can make simple dishes that are more or less tasty and satisfying. Food isn’t really a thing they care about enough to learn themself, I guess. They’d rather let other people who are better at cooking do the work and then pay them for the opportunity to taste it. But as they travel a lot and are very curious about other cultures, they’ve picked up a few tips and tricks that make travelling alone and having to cook for themself easier.

J3: How politically active are they?

The answer is an imaginary number. A.k.a. it doesn’t exist (fight me, math nerds). They have no interest in politics, nor do they even remotely care. Yes, they’ve participated in numerous political assassinations, but I can’t emphasize enough how much they do not care. They’ve killed people from all political affiliations and groups: “good” guys, “bad” guys, leftists, rightists, centrists, doesn’t matter. Because their only (repeat: THEIR ONLY) motivation is that the Circle was paid to do so, and they are simply carrying out the request. Questions of morality are of no interest to them, so whether killing a tyrant is good or killing a rebel is bad or whatever means nothing. In the end, everyone dies anyway, no matter their political influence or leanings, and Dash is merely the means of their death.

That was longer than necessary, I know, but I literally cannot stress enough how much politics is absolutely meaningless to them.

K1: Does your OC have to keep their paranormal aspect (PA) a secret from general society? If so, how? I.e., they can’t discuss their abilities, they have to hide a tail, they have an alter-ego, et cetera. What would happen if society found out about it?

No, not really. The Circle is made up entirely of serpent lycanthropes, so that’s a non-issue. And while there are plenty of people in Dash’s world who are like “ew lycanthropes icky”, they genuinely do not give a fuck. Not even in a “oh you don’t like lycanthropes? well NOW I’M A SNAKE HAHAH SSSSUCK IT” way. Just like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ okay whatever. Also, the Circle exists in an interesting sort of liminal space as far as society is concerned. People know they exist… but still question whether or not they’re a myth? I don’t know how to explain it better than that, but you get the idea. Just in general, no, hiding their lycanthropy is a non-issue.

K10: Would your OC give up their PA if they could? Why or why not?

HAH! Absolutely not, under no circumstances. So here’s the deal: as I said, the Circle is entirely serpent lycans, no humans. Dash wasn’t born a lycan, they literally went and sought out the Circle to take their trial and become a serpent lycan. They wanted that. Bad. So bad they were willing to risk death at the age of twelve. So no, they wouldn’t give it up ever.

L4: Would you hang out with your OC if you could?

Sure. Dash is a pretty chill person in general, and their interest in other cultures and customs, coupled with being well-traveled, means they’d be fun to talk to and learn from. Provided they weren’t there specifically to kill me, of course. Cause then I’d just be dead.

L5: Which OC do you think is the most decent morally or behaviorally? AKA, which is supposed to a “good guy”?

Dash just eschews good vs. evil morals entirely, so they’re neither a “good guy” nor a “bad guy”. If ever there was a true neutral person, it’s Dash, and I’ll literally fight everyone who thinks true neutral is boring or bad. Dash has principles they hold to, they just don’t believe things to be morally correct or incorrect. The world is a random, bizarre place, and people are full of contradictions. A person who is “good” can have many habits or beliefs that are terrible, and a person who’s “bad” can have great qualities and beliefs. Good and evil is entirely subjective to them, so they have removed themself from that dichotomy entirely. If other people think they are good or bad, righteous or evil, that’s irrelevant to them.

#Bree's stuff #Bree's OCs #about me #about Bree #Vydash Oris #Anonymous

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symbianosgames · 7 years

Link

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

Original posted on the Frictional Games blog.

Before starting on the concept of presence, I need to discuss why it's so important to dig deeper into these aspects of games. This is not really needed in order to explain presence, but I think it is vital to know why it is so crucial to gain this deeper understanding.

I have talked about the concept of an "idea space" and how developing a game is basically about navigating this space. The most important concept that I want to get across is that developing a game is like going on a journey. You have a starting point and an idea of where you want to end up. When making a narrative game, having a clear focus on the goal is extremely important as there'll be many occasions when you need to go against what has the greatest gameplay benefit in the short term in order to reach a better end result. But given that you can't choose your next step based on what gives the largest boost to "fun", what do you base your decision on? How can you achieve a high degree of certainty that you've made the right choice?

You do this by having rules and principles that you follow. A simple example of such a principle is to ensure that gameplay makes sense within the story. It might be more "fun" from a short-term perspective to give the player a flying unicorn, but if that seems silly within the story then this is a bad decision. However, it's not always that clear-cut, and since you can't simply "follow the fun" you need other things to guide you.

Evoking the feeling of presence is such a principle.

So what exactly is presence? Well, it isn't the most well-defined term, but for our needs we can define it as something like "How much the player feels like they are present inside the game's virtual world". One way to measure this is to test the player's unconscious reflexes and see if these react to events in the game. For instance, does the player flinch if an object comes flying towards the screen? It's simple, but not the only way to measure presence. A more important aspect, in my opinion, is to evaluate to what degree the player feels they are their on-screen character. If the player views an in-game threat as something that is bad for them personally, then it means the sense of presence is high.

I remember playing Silent Hill 2 with my wife 6 years or so ago. As the intro sequence was over and she headed into the woods, she started to feel quite shaken. She went on for a minute or so and then eventually exclaimed that she couldn't play it any longer. The game was just too scary. So I took over the controller and suddenly she didn't feel as scared any more. I now decided to conduct an experiment and handed her back the controller. The moment she started controlling the main character she got scared, and again refused to play for more than a minute or so. This is quite interesting. Her feelings towards the game were quite different depending on whether or not she was holding the controller.

This is a great example of presence. When my wife held the controller she was no longer just a spectator of a scary narrative, she was the protagonist in a horror world. This sense of presence changed her view of the game drastically, and I believe this is what makes it a core component of creating good interactive storytelling [1]. So, understanding this phenomena is paramount in becoming better at making this sort of games.

To understand what it is that happens here, let us take a look at an experiment.

In order to conduct this experiment you will need a screen, a rubber hand and a hammer. You let your subject place their hand on a table and then place the rubber hand next to it. The screen is placed between the two so that the subject can only see the rubber hand.

You now start to stroke the rubber hand and the subject's real hand in the same place at the same time. Once you have done this for a while the subject will start to feel as if the rubber hand is their own. You can now test this sensation by quickly grabbing the hammer and slamming it on the rubber hand. The subject will now, as an unconscious reflex, pull their real hand out of the way. You can see a video of it all in action here:

[embedded content]

This is quite astounding. By just using some very simple manipulation you are able to change a person's mind in such a way that they think of a rubber hand as their own. You don't even have to use a hammer to test it. You can even threaten the rubber hand with a knife and see that the galvanic skin response (palm sweat basically) is the same as if it was the real hand that was threatened. There has really been a change in how a person perceives their body.

A bunch of similar experiments have been made by Henrik Ehrsson, above, who has managed to get people to have out of body experiences, by putting them in the bodies of mannequins and using very similar techniques to the ones explained earlier.

So why does this happen? In order to understand this you first have to understand a bit of how the brain works.

It is common to intuitively think that inside our heads sits a little man, a homunculus, who receives all of the input picked up by our eyes, ears and other sensory organs. When you start pondering this idea, it's obvious it's not the case - it just begs the question of how the little man is able to see, and you end up in an infinite regression. What actually happens is that there are a bunch of different modules in your brain that collect and process various data. This data is then sent onward for more processing or used as a means for decision making. There is no one thing that controls the brain. It's all controlled by a bunch of different computational systems, each receiving different input and being able to give certain output. Marvin Minsky's "society of mind" is a very good description of how it all works.

So what happens in the rubber hand illusion is that the input you get from your eyes overrides the kinesthetic sense. There is a sort of feedback loop going on between the constant sensation of being stroked, combined with the visual confirmation of seeing it being stroked. This provides a slight conflict with the kinesthetic sense, but the brain has to make a decision and decides to treat the hand as actually being the rubber hand.

Your sense of self is not set in stone. It's something that is highly malleable and is under constant evaluation. At any moment, the brain relies on the information that it has available in order to form the concept of your self. The entity that you refer to as "yourself" is really just a mental construct that's useful in making sense of the world, navigating it, and taking decisions. Most of the time it's fairly accurate and gives the right picture, but as we've seen, it's not always the case. It can be hacked.

This is where games enter the stage - because this sort of self-hacking is exactly what games do. When your current mental model of your self incorporates your in-game character, an approaching monster will make you feel afraid. This is extremely powerful and something that makes games very special. When you press down the button or stick that makes the player move forward, you instantly get confirmation that you are making a character move. Volition turned into action becomes a feedback loop and this causes your brain to change its view of your self.

In books and movies there is no such feedback loop. Information is only presented to you. In these media you are a spectator that watches as events unfold. But in a game you are an active participant who causes events and where things happen to you personally.

This is what presence is all about! And for me this is the core reason why interactive storytelling is so exciting. You are no longer just a passive audience but an active and present participant in the narrative. Being able to achieve a strong presence is a fundamental building block in an interactive narrative.

So does this mean that Virtual Reality is the ultimate device for doing interactive storytelling? Well, it is true that VR has a lot of potential to create presence. For one, it adds two senses, balance and peripheral vision, to the mix, It also allows a natural feedback loop to occur by looking and seeing the view move about. There is no denying that VR does things that games on your standard TV or monitor cannot. However, what is crucial with presence in games is what sort of activities it allows you to be present in. VR can increase the sense of presence when it comes to just standing and looking around. But I am not as convinced that VR will be as suitable for more complex narrative actions. For instance, a drawback of VR is that the game can't really seize control of the camera - something that allows many games to provide contextual animations. This and other tricks are things that are effective in making the player feel present in story events. We used this a lot in SOMA in order to give philosophically complex events, such as the body swap, a more visceral feel.

Obviously if you use the VR medium to its advantage you can elicit responses that wouldn't be possible otherwise. But what it all comes down to is that different mediums can do different things well, and that it's not a case for VR always being better at conveying presence.

I am not bringing this up to be dismissive of Virtual Reality - I think it's a very exciting field. I go over this in order to make it clear that a sense of presence is not just about recreating our normal way of being as accurately as possible. Ways to convey presence can take many forms, but what they all have in common is that they hack our brain into believing it's partaking in something it's not.

This also answers the common question whether or not a first person mode is better at generating presence: sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't. Sure, we normally see our lives from where our eyes are situated. But this is really just a helpful mental model. Remember, there is no small man in your head that is witnessing everything. It is all just modules that process information in various ways. If it wanted to, your brain could construct your sense of reality from a third person perspective. This is in fact what happens during out of body experiences. The reason we don't use this version during everyday life is because it is not the most optimal one. We cannot see everything that happens around us, and therefore it makes more sense to just let vision be modelled as if seen through the front of our face.

So really, the output from a game is just a stream of data that gets injected into our brains. The brain will then process the data and model the world accordingly. A third person viewpoint is just another way to be presented with that data. Sometimes it can be advantageous compared to a first person one - for instance when showing damage to the protagonist. This is something we normally get as a signal of pain, but as that is not possible [2] in a game, you can trick the brain by having the onscreen character limp and show big disgusting wounds on their legs. So again, it all comes down to different approaches being suited for different things.

So the sense of presence is a brain hack, and it can be done in different ways. Then what exactly are these different ways?

I will now go over a few basic principles that will help you maximize your sense of presence. There is a lot more to be said about these, but right now I'll just summarize the most important aspects. I'll go over each of these in more detail in another blog post later on.

Intuitive controls

The most important principle is to make sure that the controls can't be overly complicated. What we want to achieve is a feedback loop where the player thinks of something and then sees it happening. We want to make a connection between the onscreen character and the player by connecting volition with action. This won't happen if the player is too focused on pressing specific buttons.

In order to achieve a strong sense of presence, the controls need to be established as early as possible and be used for all future actions. Every time the player has to learn new ways to control their character, or has to look down on the controller to make sure they are doing an input correctly, the feedback loop is broken and presence is weakened.

A good example of a game doing this correctly is Limbo (and the more recent Inside). The player is taught the controls during the very first minutes of gameplay, and from then no new controls are needed. Instead the existing control scheme is used in intuitive ways to provide many different sorts of actions. This makes the player-protagonist connection very strong and I think it is one of the game's big success factors.

Constant Feedback

Once you have the player-protagonist feedback loop up and running it is important to keep it up. If the player just sits with the controller in their lap watching as things happen, the feedback loop will be broken and their self will no longer be extended. So it is important to keep the player busy. It is especially good if you also make sure the input has a good correlation with the movements that you are doing. For instance, moving the mouse to look around creates a nice feedback loop, but if you just press a button in order to accomplish a complex manoeuvre you will not feel as present.

Experiments show this clearly. As soon as you stop stroking that rubber hand the illusion start fading away.

This is one of the reasons why we have the physical interaction in Amnesia. Not only does it allow for some interesting analog actions (such as peeking out from a closet), it also makes sure that the players are feeling a sense of presence as they open the door, pulling a lever and so forth.

Consistency

In order to hack our brains there needs to be a good pattern to follow. The key feedback loop has to do with desiring something and then seeing it happen. But in order for this to actually work, the thing that you want to happen must actually happen. If you press the jump button and the character doesn't jump then there is not a connection any more. In fact, this becomes a negative stream of data to the brain which brings about the conviction that you are in fact not controlling the on screen character. The same rule also applies to interactions. The player will base their actions upon what they are currently seeing and what they know about the world. And if that set of beliefs is not accurate, then the player's volition will fail.

This doesn't just apply to actions that you input, but also to those where you don't. It is really annoying if the character does some movement without you having provided any input for it. A game that does this the right way is Assasin's Creed. Here the player's character jumps without the player providing input, but it feels good because you press down on a button as it happens (hence willing the action) and jumping is sensible and handled in a consistent manner. Presence is maintained. However, the game also fails miserably at times and the characters can start jumping when you really just wanna walk close to a wall. In these cases the sense of presence is severely weakened.

Realism

Finally, it also very important that things feel real. By this I don't mean that things should be photorealistic. But it is good if things happen according to how they are anticipated to happen, and that forms take a shape that make sense to us. In that way, the brain can more easily process the data using existing methods. For instance, presence works better when your character is walking like a normal human and not running around like some freak (as is the case in games like good ol' Doom). In the same way it's positive if as many of the actions as possible feel close to the ones we experience in everyday life.

Experiments can clearly express this by showing that it is much harder to make the subject feel as if the table belongs to them, than it is with the rubber hand. However, a super detailed hand doesn't matter as much. The most important aspect is that it looks pretty close to a real hand.

Exactly what sort of level of realism required is hard to say. A good thumb of rule is that you should try and have enough room for the brain to fill out the details. If you go with overly photorealistic there will be too much focus on that, and you'll end up with a problem similar to the uncanny valley [3].

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Back to where I started. Now we have four new principles that we can follow in order to navigate the space of ideas. So instead of just trying to go with ideas that give us the most fun gameplay, we can instead try and get as much presence as possible. What is good about having principles like these is that we don't have to be able to directly playtest the amount of presence added, we can instead just rely on making sure the game fulfils the requirements for creating lots of presence.

Obviously you'll need to test at some point. A principle is not an absolute truth. But it allows you to plan further ahead and gives you more confidence to tread into uncharted territory. If you can see that a certain path through idea space means that the underlying goals of evoking presence is met, then that's a good indicator you're moving in the right direction. Of course, presence is not the only thing you need to work on, but it's a fundamental part of creating an engaging narrative experience. If your game is going in a direction where the principles are not met, then you might be undermining any other features intended to accomplish interactive storytelling

That's it for now on presence. There are more details to be explored, but those will be brought up in later blog posts. Next week, I will be going over something called the Mental Model. This will go deeper into how we as humans create a virtual representation of both our selves and the world, and how this can be exploited for making better narrative games.

Footnotes:

[1] This is how I see it and where I personally want to take games. There are other ways to approach digital storytelling. For instance, you can see the player's role as someone who controls how the plot and pacing flows, and so forth. There is really no best way of doing it. But in order to get somewhere I need to take a stance, and games that puts the player in the shoes of another character are the ones that I find most interesting. Therefore, this is the direction that I want to explore. People who feel otherwise are welcome and encouraged to follow other paths.

[2] At least not without special equipment and not being afraid of a painful gaming experience.

[3] This is a huge subject and very interesting, but will have to cover it in a future blog post.

#IFTTT #Blogger

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trigafy · 7 years

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Hypnosis II - optical illusion dashboard at your fingertips

Hypnosis II – optical illusion dashboard at your fingertips

Price: $0.00

Hypnotize your friends and family, exercise your brain, just have fun!

Hypnosis II is an optical illusion dashboard, allowing you to call up 50 optical illusions, funky images and moving spirals. Besides being fun optical illusions can help you think in multiple dimensions (why does this 2D image look 3D?), enhance critical thinking skills (why do these dots look like they are moving?), and even help you with some memory recall (try to draw a detailed copy without looking at it).

Includes famous optical illusions like the Hermann Grid, the café wall illusion, Fraser’s Spiral, motion illusions and more!

This app is intended for entertainment purposes only.

Abundance Hypnosis

youtube

http://bit.ly/1Vxul4f Dr. Steve G. Jones Ed.D. has been practicing hypnotherapy since the 1980s. He is the author of over 22 books on Hypnotherapy and is certified as a Clinical Hypnotherapist by the National Guild of Hypnotists and the American Board of Hypnotherapy.

This is a quick introduction to the power of hypnosis, and how it can help to improve your law of attraction results.

You have probably heard of the law of attraction, you have probably even tried to use it, however apparantly fewer than 1 in 100 get the result they are looking for.. at least on their early attempts.

Often the lack of success in the law of attraction is simply because it’s an abstract principle and we all have different thoughts, different ways of thinking, different thinking, and various approaches to the law of attraction. Also, what often works well with one person simply might not be right for another person.

In amongst all of these possible reasons behind a lack of success there is one common one – belief, or I should say, a lack of belief.

The law of attraction is so abstract and often so against our common beliefs and values that we struggle to believe it is possible… even those people who get excited about the law of attraction,those people who really embrace it and dive head first into it, even such people have subconscious doubts which hold them back.

http://www.naturalhypnosis.org

This is one reason why so many people are embracing hypnosis for help in their law of attraction journey.

Hypnosis can help target your subconscious mind and re-program your limiting thinking and doubts from the inside out. This way your beliefs, or I should say your lack of belief in the law of attraction will be re-programmed.

Hypnosis will replace your doubts for a, belief in the law of attraction, and a simple, unshake-able faith that you can focus your mind on your own wishes and have them become a reality.

Hypnosis is more typically used for things like dieting, giving up smoking, and confidence etc, but now there are new albums being released by a new hypnosis audio webiste called Natural Hypnosis which are exclusively adapted to the law of attraction.

http://www.hypnosiscontrol.info

http://www.naturalhypnosis.org

http://www.freemp3subs.com

A phobia can be defined as a fear not based in reality. When a person has a phobic attack, they get panicky feelings; their respiration and heart rates increase; they may experience feeling choked up like their heart is in their throat; the palms of their hands often get sweaty; they may experience a ringing in their ears; and they often find that they are unable to partake in an activity. These feelings motivate the individual to avoid the situations and environments that cause them.

Specific Examples Of Phobias: For instance, if someone has a fear of driving, they would display these symptoms whenever they endeavor to drive, or maybe even when they just think about driving. Or a freight attack may perhaps take place only when driving in certain places like in heavy traffic.

Stage freight is a fairly widespread phobia. The panicky feelings appear when the person tries to talk in front of a person that they are intimidated by, or they may experience fearful feelings only in front of an assembly of people. The size of the crowd may vary. This fear can be triggered by fears of inadequacy, or a lack of self-esteem.

Those who suffer from social anxiety disorder can get very worried just being around other folks, even folks that they know. It’s a fear that they will be criticized or evaluated by other people. This fear can be triggered in almost any kind of social interaction. A person could be standing on line at a variety store and get panicky feelings as they think about having to talk to the cashier during checkout.

The fear of test taking (which is frequently known as test anxiety) is quite a common phobia. Phobias to taking tests are rooted in comparing yourself to other folks, and is deeply rooted in a fear of failure.

People have experienced irrational fears to every type of situation under the sun. For example: Snakes; bugs; relationships; flying; small enclosed places; animals; high places; death; and even the great outdoors.

Agoraphobia is generally considered to be a fear of open spaces. However, this definition is quite deceptive because Agoraphobics are really afraid of having a panic attack, wherever they are. Agoraphobia develops when a person begins to avoid places or situations they have associated with anxiety. For example, they could have a panic attack at home, church, or in a gas station.

For many, once the panic attacks have started, they begin to anticipate them to occur. And this expectation actually triggers them with increasing frequency. Other folks experience fearful feelings on a continuous basis. These feelings cause an overall discomfort, rather than panic.

Forms Of Treatment That Are Available:

Drugs: Some physicians care for their patients with sedatives, which can make the phobia worse over extended treatment. Sedatives do not treat the underlying origin of a phobia; they only disguise some of the symptoms.

Talk Therapy: Some counselors advocate “Talk Therapy.” Talk therapy is merely talking about what is bothering you. Unfortunately, thinking about or talking about the situation or environment that triggers a phobia can trigger a phobic attack!

Hypnosis CDs: Traditional hypnotherapy has been used to treat phobias, but with only meager success. Traditional hypnotherapy is accomplished when the hypnotist guides the subject into a relaxed state of self-hypnosis and gives him post-hypnotic commands or suggestions. Since most people of our generation question and resist direct suggestions, they also reject the belief that they will be more relaxed and at ease when they encounter the situation or environment that triggers their panic attacks.

Systematic Desensitization: Systematic Desensitization is the practice of gradually desensitizing a phobic person to the condition or environment that triggers a phobic attack. For instance, if a person wanted to dive from a high board but fears it, she is asked to first dive from a height that she feels confident about. She dives in and realizes that she didn’t get hurt and that she is secure.

The next thing she is asked to do is to dive in from the lowest step of the ladder going up to the high diving board. Again, she dives in and realizes that she was not hurt and that she is safe.

Over a period of time the subject is asked to dive in from gradually higher and higher steps on the ladder. Each time she dives in and realizes that she didn’t get hurt and that she is safe and sound, she is able to move up to the next rung of the ladder. If she experiences fear, then she’s asked to move back down one rung on the ladder and dive from there until she feels complete comfort and security. In the end she makes it to the top of the ladder and is able to dive in from the high board itself.

Systematic Desensitization While In The State Of Hypnosis: Systematic Desensitization can be done virtually while in a hypnotic state with as good as or even better results. While in a relaxed hypnotized state, the woman would be asked to visualize herself diving in from each step on the ladder. She would be asked to see herself feeling confident as she dives in. Since she is actually disassociated while seeing herself, she is not able to experience a panic attack.

Next she’s asked to associate, in other words to put the camera inside of her head so she would see what she would see through her own eyes if she was actually diving in from each step of the ladder. She is asked to imagine feeling safe and relaxed as she dives in.

Just as in a live (in vivo) systematic desensitization, if she feels any panic she’s asked to go back to the previous lower step on the ladder and imagine diving in from there.

The phobic might be taught to create a kinesthetic (feeling or touch) “anchor” of feelings of safety and security. She could then activate that anchor while imagining that she’s diving, and the feelings of security and safety could be subjectively transferred to the act of diving.

Systematic Desensitization while in self hypnosis can be incredibly effective and totally successful, but is can also be slow and take several hypnotic sessions to bring about a cure.

NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) V/K Disassociation: NLP is basically the study and practice of how we create our reality. The V/K stands for visual / kinesthetic. The V/K Disassociation is a method that allows a trained NLP Practitioner to guide a subject through specific visual imagery that quickly and in many cases instantly disconnects or disassociates the feelings of horror from the phobia that causes them. The V/K Disassociation is known as the “One session phobia cure” in NLP circles, and with good reason.

Conclusion: Phobias are common in our culture. They are fears that aren’t based in reality. There are many treatments for phobias, but so far in my estimation, the best treatments are Systematic Desensitization while a hypnotic state, and the NLP V/K Disassociation technique.

Alan B. Densky, CH is a trained hypnotist and NLP Practitioner who’s been in professional practice since 1978. He can be contacted through his Neuro-VISION Hypnosis site where he offers NLP CDs for phobias. Visit his hypnosis repository, or download a free MP3.

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symbianosgames · 7 years

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Original posted on the Frictional Games blog.

Evoking the feeling of presence is such a principle.

To understand what it is that happens here, let us take a look at an experiment.

[embedded content]

So why does this happen? In order to understand this you first have to understand a bit of how the brain works.

So the sense of presence is a brain hack, and it can be done in different ways. Then what exactly are these different ways?

Intuitive controls

Constant Feedback

Experiments show this clearly. As soon as you stop stroking that rubber hand the illusion start fading away.

Consistency

Realism

---

Footnotes:

[2] At least not without special equipment and not being afraid of a painful gaming experience.

[3] This is a huge subject and very interesting, but will have to cover it in a future blog post.

#IFTTT #Blogger

0 notes