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tysonbaerrie · 4 years

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safe for me to fall

For my favorite hockey ladies @bisexualtylerseguin, @austonandersen, and @blameitonmyjuuse. A little bit of Auston/Freddie fluff because the group chat melts down at least once a day over the fact that oh my god they’re quarantining together.

Auston doesn’t think twice when he invites Freddie to join him in Scottsdale.

Auston had made plans to go home as soon as they had been given the go-ahead. He loved Toronto, but if he was going to be stuck inside for weeks, he’d rather be surrounded by the familiarity of home. They’d thought that the pause would only be a few weeks at most. It wasn’t long enough for it to make sense for Freddie to cross an ocean to see his own family.

“You shouldn’t stay here alone.” Auston had told Freddie from his couch, scrolling through his phone for flight options. “Why don’t you come home with me?”

“I don’t want to intrude on your family.”

“My mom likes you more than me.” Auston pointed out. He reached out and nudged Freddie’s foot with his own. “Come with me.”

“Okay.” Freddie had replied after a long moment, and Auston booked their flights.

A couple of weeks had stretched on and on, and it was looking more and more likely that their season was finished. Auston was frustrated but, as usual, Freddie was a calming presence. They spent most of their time together in Toronto, but now they spent every moment together and it was...distracting for Auston. What had been a harmless crush was quickly snowballing into full-fledged unrequited love. Everything about Freddie was attractive, was everything Auston looked for in a partner. Now, though, when they weren’t under the soul-crushing pressure of carrying a franchise on their shoulders, when Freddie could just breathe - he was beautiful, and Auston was entranced.

“I’m glad you brought Freddie home with you.” His mother told him a few nights after their arrival. Auston looked up from the dishes he was washing and watched through that window as Freddie and his dad sat next to the fire pit in the backyard, beers in their hands as they chatted like old friends.

“Me too.” Auston admitted, handing the clean dish to his mom to dry.

“You smile more when he’s around.” Auston feels his cheeks heat up and he looks away from where Freddie is throwing his head back in a laugh. He shrugs, and he hears his mom chuckle beside him.

“You know, if you and Freddie are...you know we wouldn’t care, right? We love you, we love Freddie.”

“Mom, it’s-it’s not like that.”

“But you would like for it to be, I think.” She points out. “You don’t have to tell me anything, but I just want you to know that all of us would be happy for you both.”

“He doesn’t...he doesn’t see me like that, Mom.”

“He had many places he could have gone to ride this out, Auston. Denmark, California. He chose to come with you instead. I think that says a lot. But, like I said, it’s not my business. Just something to think about.” Auston lets her pull him down so she can kiss him on the cheek before giving him the last clean dish to put away. Auston looks through the window again, and he finds Freddie watching him. His gaze is soft and fond, and Auston feels something twist in his stomach.

His parents go upstairs to bed soon after that, and Auston grabs two more beers to join Freddie on the patio. Music is playing softly on Freddie’s phone when he joins him and hands the beer to Freddie. Their fingers brush briefly as Freddie wraps his hand around the bottle and Auston feels a shiver go up his arm.

“What are you listening to?”

“Songs for this month’s playlist.”

Auston stretches out on a chair as The Weeknd plays. “You know, you’re outing yourself as a Weeknd stan with these playlists.”

“You listen to them?”

“Of course.” Auston replies with a shrug. “You’ve got good taste.”

Freddie doesn’t reply, but Auston can see his cheeks pinken out of the corner of his eye. They sit there for a long while, sipping their beers as Freddie finalizes his choices. A song begins playing that Auston doesn’t recognize, and he nudges Freddie’s knee until he turns his gaze from the night sky to Auston.

“What’s that?”

“Halsey.” Freddie replies, and rolls his eyes when Auston laughs. “It’s a good song.”

“I like it.” Auston concedes. “It’s a slow dance song, romantic.”

“Dance with me.” Freddie asks, pushing up from his chair. Auston raises an eyebrow but makes no move to get up.

“Why?” Auston finally chokes out when Freddie is standing over him.

“Like you said, it’s a slow dance song. And I want to dance.” Freddie offers his hand at that, a more formal offer than Auston’s ever received. Usually, when he dances, they’re in a club and a random girl will simply pull him onto the dancefloor with a grin. He hesitates for a moment before setting his beer down and letting Freddie pull him up.

They’re closer than Auston thought they’d be, but Freddie wraps an arm around his waist to keep him close. He holds Auston’s hand with the other, leading them in a slow sway. Auston’s never really danced like this, but it feels comfortable with Freddie. It feels...nice, is the best way Auston can describe it. The song goes on and Auston grows more comfortable as they move in a slow circle. Freddie’s arm moves from his waist up to between Auston’s shoulders, pulling Auston in even closer. When Auston looks up, Freddie’s face is so close that Auston can feel warm puffs of air on his cheek when Freddie breathes. The moment suddenly feels charged, feels important. Auston thinks back to what his mom said, how Freddie could have gone anywhere, really, to wait the pause out. But he hadn’t gone anywhere, he’d come with Auston. He’d come to his home and his family, and he’d fit in with them like he’d always been there. He’d learned Auston’s favorite meals from his mom and helped his dad with projects around the house and chirped Auston with his sister. He fit, like a puzzle piece they hadn’t known they were missing. Like he belonged.

Like he belonged with Auston.

Auston stops their swaying, his arms grasping Freddie’s shoulders.

“Is something wrong?” Freddie asks, and Auston shakes his head.

“No. At least, I hope not.” Freddie’s gaze is confused, and Auston takes a deep breath before he leans up and brushes his lips across Freddie’s. It’s quick and chaste, and Auston pulls away almost immediately. If he’s read this wrong, he doesn’t want to make it any worse than he already has. He opens his eyes once he feels brave enough, and feels his heart stutter at the softness in Freddie’s eyes. At least if he’s going to reject him, Auston thinks, Freddie will let him down gently.

“Is that okay?” Auston finally asks, and the smile that spreads on Freddie’s face melts Auston’s insides. “I’ve...I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.” Auston shudders when Freddie cups Auston’s face in his big hands, his smile turning to something smaller, more private. He leans in and Auston meets him halfway, their lips meeting again. They kiss hesitantly for a few moments before Freddie turns Auston’s face the way he wants it and suddenly everything is deeper, hotter, better. Auston groans and pulls Freddie impossibly closer, licking into Freddie’s mouth. It’s unlike any kiss Auston’s ever experienced before. First kisses should be awkward, in Auston’s experience, but this is so good it makes Auston’s toes curl. Auston never wants it to end, but he also doesn’t want to end up coming in his pants on his parent’s back patio when he could let Freddie take him apart in the privacy of his bedroom.

Freddie bites Auston’s bottom lip when he finally manages to pull away, both of them breathing heavy but making no move to disentangle themselves. Auston dips his head and drops quick, biting kisses along Freddie’s jaw, and shudders when Freddie runs his hand through Auston’s hair.

“Come up to my room?” He asks against the shell of Freddie’s ear, half in love with the gasp that Freddie lets out when he slips his hands under Freddie’s shirt and runs his fingers along his toned back.

“My room is farther from your parents.” Freddie points out, and Auston pulls away enough to look Freddie in the eye.

“Plan on getting loud?” Austont teases, but the smile drops from his face when he sees the heat in Freddie’s eyes.

“You have no idea.” Freddie replies, and Auston doesn’t hesitate in wrapping his hand around Freddie’s and tugging him in the direction of the guest room.

#hockey rpf #freddie x auston #frederik andersen #auston matthews #my fic

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lesdoublesll · 4 years

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New, Random Questions

Rules: answer 20 questions then tag bloggers you want to get to know better. I’m switching it up with a new set of questions.

Thanks for tagging me @drawntothedarkside :3

0) Name/Nickname? If ya wanna share it.

Name : Lorraine. Nickname: Law.

1) If you could bring any two fictional characters (from books or film/tv) into the same world who would they be, what world would you put them in, and what would their relationship to each other be?

Interesting. Jonas (Iwan Rheon in Residue) and Wheeler (Alfie Allen in Pandemic) in a world where their problems are gone and they can drink coffee together...xD

I would like to see Modern!Theon and Freddy Finkel as chaotic twins.

2) If you could drop yourself into any fictional world from books or film/tv, which would it be?

Not books nor films nor tv, but video games for me. I would love to live in the world of Pokemon.

3) What’s your spirit animal?

Freddy Finkel.

Hm seriously tho, I don’t really like dogs, but people keep telling me I act like one so...

4) What is the most unpopular opinion you hold?

Shipping Thramsay doesn’t mean you stan abuse ? I think a lot of ppl out there don’t understand the appeal of the ship and honestly. I don’t care.

5) How do you like to style your hair most often?

I don’t. I just brush my hair and that’s all.

6) I always love this overdone question - you’re allowed three books on a desert island, what do you bring? (Note: Survival Guides don’t count).

Poèmes à Lou by Apollinaire, LOTR (the last one probably...), and probably something I’ve never read but I know I’d like to read, like one of Zola’s novel.

7) Something new you’ve learned in quarantine/lockdown/corona times?

That I can’t live two weeks away from my gf without fucking crying ?

8) Favorite alcohol? (Or non-alcoholic beverage if you don’t drink!)

White wine.

9) Music you can’t stand? Music you love?

I can’t stand music way too modified, I don’t really enjoy rap, and I like everything else. I am a big fan of rock, hardrock and metal, especially symphonic metal.

10) Have a favorite herb?

Uh... dunno. x)

11) What kinds of cups/glasses/bottles do you prefer to drink out of?

Chalice. I love being dramatic.

12) Preferred mode of communication: texts, phone calls, emails, letters?

Texting.

13) What is your favorite weather?

Very sunny, high temperature, a gentle sea breeze.

14) What kind of lighting do you like?

Bright, Natural lightning in the afternoon and a subdued light in the evening.

15) What is the best thing you cook?

I love cooking but I prefer baking. The best thing I cook must be cookies. A lot of ppl told me “How do you make such perfect cookies ? I always end up with burned cookies!” but I always thought it was very easy... ( and I think it is...)

16) Do you have a favorite font to write in ?

No.

17) What is something you’ve always wanted to write in a fic, but you’ve been too afraid to? Or, what is something that you were afraid to write, but then you did and it ended awesome?

I was very afraid to write Thramsay in general but anyway I’m quite happy with the result.

18) If you were in your favorite fantasy world, what would your weapon of choice be?

Magic.

19) Is there a commonly used expression/saying that you can’t stand?

In french yes. Like “Je ne sais pas qu’est-ce que c’est son nom” instead of saying “Je ne sais pas comment il s’appelle”... I think in general i don’t like when sentences that aren’t correct become commonly used expression. It’s UGLY.

20) What is something that you would like people to know about you?

I can’t stop talking and making new friends even I love solitude, but when we are alone together (I mean with my gf or close friends) because I can’t live alone (with all my psychological problems it’s very difficult.)

I don’t become angry easily, but when I do, I am furious and I want to murder someone (everytime someone is a dick to a member of my family or my gf, I want to hurt that person so bad...and well I did punch some of those assholes after all...)

Tagging: @lucy-sky @lesbicious-tendencies @hard-as-iron @cantdutchthis @kitchcat and anyone who wants to do it.

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d2myg · 5 years

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50 questions tag

tagged by @rysiowate thank u darling!

1. What takes up too much of your time? my hyperfixations and constantly updating all my online accounts and personas

2. What makes your day better? when i feel like ive accomplished something in a day; also, getting to go to bed after a long day

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today? i made really good tofu fried rice

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? the shire. just wanna live in a tiny hobbit house and eat and read

5. Are you good at giving advice? depends what it is about. and also, im better at getting my points across via text, so im useless at advice irl

6. Do you have any mental illness? anxiety and depression, im pretty i have some kind of executive dysfunction and maybe dependent personality disorder, but these two are just my assumptions. who knows really im broke and too anxious to go a therapist to get diagnosed lmao

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no thank god it sounds terrifying

8. What musician inspired you the most? even though i’m not an active stan anymore i’m gonna say bts because they’re the artists i’ve stanned the longest for and grew most attached to. i think they helped me develop as a person and they’ve been there for me in tough times. but also queen, because in freddie mercury i found a queer icon and role model which is very important for me

9. Have you ever fallen in love? i thought i was in love once but looking back, maybe not

10. What’s your dream date? i think this dream date business is bullshit. as long as im with the person i like, we could be doing literally anything and id still be like yeah this is a good day. like running errands or going grocery shopping or just lying in bed.

11. What do others notice about you?

idk probably my self-deprecating humour. also i if im wearing makeup that almost always gets commented on so i guess that

12. What is an annoying habit you have? just one? lmao uhhh when im super anxious about something i just shut off and like i cant function until that thing is resolved. my brain is just like ok anxiety time lets lay in bed and cry and nap for the rest of the day. also when im not in the mood to reply to someone’s text i will literally go days without replying not bc i forgot but bc i just.. yeah

13. Do you still talk to your first love? sometimes i check up on her (on her social media) but no we havent talked for almost a year since it ended. but then, was she really my first love. idk.

14. How many exes do you have? one

15. How many songs are in your playlist? i have multiple playlists and i also follow a lot of playlists; all together there must be at least 1k

16. What instruments can you play? acoustic guitar

17. What do you have the most pictures of? travelling, i have folders of pictures since last year that i havent edited yet

18. Where would you like to go before you die? hm. everywhere i havent been yet. id really like to go to canada, also like everywhere in asia

19. What is your zodiac? scorpio

20. Do you relate to it? idk i dont really read horoscopes and idk the like scorpio personality traits or whatever

21. What is happiness to you? being content with myself and what im doing.

22. Are you going through anything right now? final assignments of the semester :)

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? getting too attached to some people.

24. What’s your favorite store? record stores are so cool. also there’s this store in brighton that sells prints of stuff like ghibli on tshirts and tote bags. not my favourite, but i like it. i dont think i have a favourite.

25. What’s your opinion on abortion? im pro-choice. i dont think it should be a debate.

26. Do you keep a bucket list? no

27. Do you have a favorite album? sheer heart attack by queen, that shit slaps

28. What do you want for your birthday? honestly not to be shallow but some coins so i can buy myself some stuff ive been wanting to buy but didnt wanna spend money on

29. What are most people’s first impression of you? idk probably that im a bitch or that im intimidating. before i open my mouth to talk. one of my best friends told me they were scared of me when we first met.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? idk i mean no one really questions my age tbh. when i was younger people thought i was older lmao cause i seemed mature or whatever

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? usually on my bed bc i sleep with earphones

32. What word do you say the most? uuuh……. like. when i talk i say like after every 3rd words its annoying

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? 5-6 years probably

34. What’s the youngest age you would date? ½ years max

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? i dont talk about my career ambitions with anyone lmao it makes me anxious. my mom says i could do personal couching or psychotherapy or whatever.

36. What’s your favorite music genre? classic rock

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? sweden sounds really nice. hong kong or singapore also

38. What is your current favorite song? hm. the iron man 3 credits soundtrack. slaps. suffragette city by culture club also

39. How long have you had this blog for? uuh i remade very recently

40. What are you excited for? goin home for the summer. also rocketman and spiderman far from home. also!!! i might be going to the rocketman red carpet so

41. Are you a better talker or listener? listener. i dont really like talking about deep stuff

42. What is the last productive thing you did? did some uni work today. actually, did a lot of uni work today

43. What do you want for christmas? go to budapest with my mom weve been planning that

44. What class do you get the best grades in? my best subject in high school was english and in college it was probably psychology

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? idk 5/6

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

dude i dont even know what ill be doing next year after my ba course ok

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? i dont think i really had one. when i broke up w my gf, its been shit for a while and i just accepted that it wasnt gonna work so it didnt really like hurt

48. What age do you want to get married? marriage is overrated and expensive next

49. What career did you want to have as a child? i wanted to be a vet also but so much med school. ew.

50. What do you crave right now? to dye my hair bc im stressed insert this is fine meme

i also tag @hamkis also @crownedbabes also @funkysapphic, @milmercurios, @freddie-jupiter, @piscesyub, @cactustattoo, @tonyrights

#anyone else can do this to just say i tagged u!#and those i tagged u dont gotta do it #eli.txt #tag game #long post

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lasparabasdeamorx-blog · 5 years

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Sweet Lady

Fem!Reader and 70’s!Brian May.

Ok so this is my first fanfic/ imagine and yeah, I hope you enjoy. I did proof read but there probably are some mistakes in there, so I apologise in advance.

Warnings: language, implied sex, disrespect to women (not from Brian of course) and the tiniest bit of angst, blink and it’s gone.

It was a Friday night, and you were spending it by having a long, hot bath. Your best friend, Freddie had recently come out as gay and his ex-girlfriend and close friend, Mary had moved out. You were a struggling writer and had many financial struggles, so Freddie opened his home to you. Because you were so close to Freddie, you became extremely close to his band mates, especially Brian. Over the past five years, you had developed more than just a crush on Brian, you were head over heals in love with him, he just didn’t know that. Anyway, he probably didn’t have time for you because Queen had just gone from big to iconic in five minutes and fifty five seconds after recording A Night At The Opera. “Y/N, darling” Freddie said as he burst into the bathroom. “Freddie! I’m in the bath!” You exclaimed. “You’re in MY bath, dear” he simply said. You rolled your eyes at him. “What is it Fred?” “The boys and I are head ing out to celebrate the rise of Bohemian Rhapsody, I was wondering if you wanted to tag along, everyone has a date apart from BRIAN!” After five years of goo-goo eyes, Freddie had to have caught on to your feelings for Brian, and even tried to push you out of your comfort zone and express your feelings towards him, but you just couldn’t. You didn’t want ruin your friendship with Brian. “And who is your date then, Fred?” “Paul” he said casually. “Paul? Oh, Fred, we all hate that twat!”He just rolled his eyes at you. “Come on, Y/N, get your arse out of the water, put on something sexy and get to Brian’s side”

“Ughhh” You moaned. Freddie passed you a towel and strutted out of the bathroom. You got out of the bath and wrapped the towel around you. You walked into the guest bedroom that had been yours for the past couple of months. You went to look in the wardrobe only to find that Freddie was already there. “Darling! You need to wear this pretty little number!” He held out a tight, black, satin mini dress that Mary had picked out for you from Biba last year, it was meant for you to go clubbing with Roger and Brian, but you never went because Brian said that he was bringing a date. “I’m not sure Fred”

“Oh darling, you must, it would look amazing with these.” He pulled out a fluffy burgundy coat that Roger had gotten you for Christmas, you were too scared to wear it often because it was so expensive, but you absolutely loved it. He also picked out a pair of burgundy boots, that you had gotten years ago but they were just forgotten. Freddie did know your style better than anyone else did. “Oh ok, Fred” you gave into him. “That’s my darling, Y/N”

After doing you hair and a bit of makeup, you put on the outfit that Freddie had picked out for you. You looked at yourself in the mirror, you weren’t so sure about the outfit after all. The dress was very short, and you could see the stretch marks on your thighs, and you could see the outline of rolls on your stomach. Brian would hate it. You headed back to the wardrobe and picked out a pair of black flared trousers and a matching top with a little lace to wear instead. But, before you could change, Freddie burst in. “Darling, what or those in your hand?” He asked, confused looking at the garments you were holding. “Oh, I’m not exactly comfortable in this dress, so I was going to put these on” You gestured at the trousers and top. “But, dear, you look positively marvellous! Brian would love it!”

“Freddie...”

“Trust me, darling, Brian won’t be able to take his eyes off of you, or his hands if you’d let him”. In the end, you decided to go with Freddie’s choice of outfit.

Brian came to pick you up, Freddie had told him that you would go with him, of course! Freddie said that he would catch you up later as he was waiting for Paul, that prick!

*Brian’s POV*

I walked up to Freddie’s house, nervous has he had said that Y/N would go with me to the club as everyone else had dates, Roger some groupie he found in the last after party, Deacy with his wife, Veronica and Freddie, Paul fucking Prenter. I knocked on the door and Freddie immediately answered the door, he had probably been waiting there for ages. “Y/N Y/L/N your Prince Charming has arrived!” I blushed at Freddie’s comment, but Y/N blushed even harder as she glided down the stairs. She was wearing a short, tight black dress that looked so sexy on her. The boys know that I’m a sucker for a bit of ass and curves, and Y/N served some healthy helpings of those. The burgundy coat and boots added an extra bit of class to her outfit that instantly reminded me of why I fell in love with her. She wasn’t some groupie I met at a gig, she was a friend. A classy woman, and a very Sweet Lady. She was kind and caring, she had a diamond heart (Lady Gaga reference because I stan her) and a gold soul. “Hey, Bri” she said, snapping me out of my daydream.

*Back to your POV*

Brian jumped a little as I greeted him. I giggled. “Nice daydream Bri?”

“Only because you were in it” I looked at him with wide eyes, he stared back. Of course we had passed a few flirtatious comments over the past couple of years, but this one was just a little more flirtatious. “Oh darlings, you two need each other” Freddie just had to cut in. Brian and I blushed as we stepped into the dark night.

——————————————-—————————

Everyone was at the club, it was very noisy and everyone seemed to recognise the boys, well of course they did, Bohemian Rhapsody was a big hit to the music industry. Roger had left his date for a group of, how do I put this lightly, slags. John and Veronica, Freddie and Paul were breaking out some dance moves on the floor and I was sat alone, waiting for Brian to return with another round of drinks.

“Hey you!” You heard a voice behind you, the man’s speech was slurred, he was obviously pretty drunk. I just stared. “You!” He shouted again. “The fat slut in the tight dress”.

*Brian’s POV*

“The fat slut in the tight dress”. I had indeed noticed the drunken man yelling at Y/N, I wasn’t going to let it slide but I was going to let Y/N stand up for herself, because she hated being a damsel in distress, but that was it. I headed towards the table and set the drinks down. But before I could say anything...

*Y/N’s POV*

“At least I’m not your fat slut”, both Brian and the man stared at me. I knew very well that the snide comment was a bad idea. The man got up and came over to spank my ass, but I knew better. Before he could lay a finger on me, I punched him square in the face and ran for it. I wasn’t getting into trouble with the bouncers that night.

Brian walked outside. “I say we fuck off from here back to mine, what do you say?” I knew that it was only a friendly offer because he did it all the time, neither of us were the party animal sort.

“I would love to, Bri.” I replied, but I didn’t sound as enthusiastic as I had meant to.

“Are you feeling ok, love?” He asked in a worried tone.

“Do you think I’m fat?” I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, not even Freddie that I let the comment get to me. But, I was alone with Brian, the man I love most in this little world and I felt extremely vulnerable around him.

“Y/N...”

“ I understand if you do, look at me!” I touched my stomach and as I did that the heavens opened, as if it was a sign because the moment rain hit my face, Brian’s lips pressed against mine. At first, the kiss was soft, gentle and full of love. Soon, the innocent part was over as Brian’s hands cupped my ass, I flinched but deepened the kiss and it turned hot, steamy and passionate. But all good things must come to an end. Brian was the one to brake the kiss.

*Brian’s POV*

“Y/N, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever layed my eyes on. You’re fucking gorgeous. Not to mention kind, supportive and understanding. I.. I’ve fallen in love with you, Y/N Y/L/N.”

“I love you too, Brian Harold May” She said. It was music to my ears, she’s MY Sweet Lady. We shared another passionate kiss befor I bent down and picked her up bridal style. “I think it’s time I get that sexy ass to my place.” And I carried her into the night.

#brian May x reader #brian may fanfic #queen x reader #brian may imagine #Freddie Mercury #Roger Taylor #John Deacon #Brian May

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jet-uwu · 5 years

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Thx very much to the v groovy @peacelennon for tagging me^^

Rules: Bold your choice of magnificent queen things

Brian’s hair or Freddie’s mustache // bass or drums // 70s Queen or 80s Queen // Rainbow ‘74 or Montreal ‘81// Drowse or Tenement Funster // short hair John or long hair John (i stan both but i have the same hair as his long hair so...bias)// Freddie with mustache or Freddie without // Hot Space or The Works // We will rock you or We are the champions (they're a package deal, no?)// Roger with sunglasses or Roger without // Clogs or Adidas // badgers or hedgehogs // Deaky or Deacy // A night at the opera or A day at the races

I'll tag my dear pals @punk-r0ses and @awkward-goldfish uwu

#tag game #thank you again^^^

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all-alone-he-turns-to-stone · 6 years

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Killer Queen

Summary: There’s a new recruit at the Barn, not something very interesting for Mitch. But this time, it’s different. What makes an insolent, impolite and inattentive girl so special? That’s what everyone is wondering. And especially. Why is she always listening to music?

Word Count: 6677

Fandom: American Assassin

Pairing: Mitch Rapp x Reader

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

A/N: This is it! The first part of my entry for @inkstiles writing contest with the prompt Teach Me! Yeah, you heard me right, first part! Second part is already in the process of being written! This is also my first story written in the third pov. And I tried changing my writing style a little, maybe you’ll notice it?

A HUGE THANKS to @honeymoonmuke . If this fic is awesome, it’s thanks to Hannah who helped me with it. She kindly took more than 3 days to check it all, help me with my mistakes, made suggestions of better sentences’ formulations because everyone knows English isn’t my first language so sometimes it’s really hard. I hope y’all like this chapter, I sure do!

All the songs mentioned are from Queen and the names of the songs are in the fic. I strongly recommend listening to this group. Ah, and this is partially based on the movie Baby Driver. If you saw it, you’ll understand! If no, it’s a movie I recommend!

psa: I don’t think y’all are familiar with Queen. But there’s a song called Killer Queen and the meaning of the title will be revealed in a further chapter!

Nobody knew why the bosses had decided to accept it. Why a person like her could have been sent here. What the CIA could see in her, this girl no higher than three apples and no heavier than a few wet pounds. What a totally immature and disrespectful child who paid no attention to what was happening around her could do well at Orion’s training camp. There must have been something, a very important hidden talent behind her imperturbable and fixed in a mask of mute neutrality face. She must have something special. But the worst thing was that no one seemed to notice a certain detail, because everyone was too absorbed and excited by the new female presence at the camp.

Almost all the recruits had their noses planted against the glass to watch the new girl that had just arrived, Irene Kennedy by her side speaking with Stan, the latter having his back turned to the house. She had her hands in her pockets and swayed from one foot to the other, staring at the veteran who was talking to her without really seeing him, white threads connecting her ears to an electronic device emitting music only she could hear. The new rookie always and constantly listened to music.

Mitch noticed it. While everyone was salivating through the window, he was watching silently from afar.

Everybody was wondering why she was here, why now, who was she and they whispered like unruly kids as soon as they could about the new recruit. A girl, besides, it was a first time at the Barn. The men were starting to get out of control, and even a man like Mitch Rapp could notice it. In the dormitory where all the recruits slept, a smell of testosterone hovered, the obvious and displaced desire of these stupid guys who supposedly also had talent.

Luckily, the new girl didn’t sleep in the men’s room. Irene or Stan must have planned everything. This was what a certain young man was thinking about, lying in the uncomfortable bed that furnished most of the large room. Mitch had an arm behind his head and stared blankly at the ceiling - not seeing it due to the dark that riddled the room. His thoughts always returned to the girl. In spite of himself and even if he promised himself to never be interested in anything other than his revenge, he couldn’t help wondering what had brought her here. Like him and the others, she had to have good reasons - and good skills to have been chosen by the CIA to integrate the secret program of recruiting.

Mitch got into his bed and turned over with a sigh. He was surprised when the usual image of Katrina dying in front of him didn’t materialise as he closed his eyes to sleep. It had become routine for him - every night since her death, he’d pictured her, her dying screams rattling through her ears. He’d grown so accustomed to seeing her last moment that it shocked him when he didn’t see her and instead saw the new recruit.

Mitch made a choice then, with the unfamiliar features of the new recruit floating through his mind. He decided to pay close attention to the girl. She was hiding something - she had to be.

Running several kilometers in the forest very early in the morning wasn’t something new for anyone. Arriving on time at the starting line was an order, a rule that no one could ever break. If a recruit couldn’t get up one morning for any reason, he was fired. No pay, no goodbye, he had to pack up and leave. No one was an exception and Mitch was always the first to be on the line. So obviously today was no exception; he was the first to arrive.

Mitch waited for all the other recruits to join him, like every other morning. However, this morning was different, and everyone felt it. There was a tension hanging in the air, and it was surely leftover from the arrival of the girl. His body was tense and he glanced to each side quite frequently, waiting for her to arrive, but there was no sign of the girl in sight. The commanders made their usual inspection and gave orders to do the usual 50 push-ups before the start of the race.

“You’re late!”

Mitch’s arms contracted and froze in the position he was in, his face so close to the ground that his breath caused some grains of earth that weren’t frozen on that cool morning to scatter, the mist coming out of his mouth with each breath confirming the low temperature. He turned his head slightly to see a new person who arrived and recognized her immediately. She was at the other end of the line but his dark eyes didn’t miss her arrival, nor the shouting she received for her tardiness. Mitch shuddered. He could practically feel all of the recruits’ desperation as they yearned to know if the girl who had just arrived was going to be fired already.

“Oh, that’s right. We didn’t introduce you,” the supervisor said loudly enough and in a tone so dry that everyone could hear his words. “Get up! ”

Under the sudden order, all the recruits stopped their push ups and got up, ready to hear the rest since everyone was curious to see what was going to happen. Now standing, Mitch could have a better view of the girl.

She was wearing large gray joggings that were too big for her, her hands hiding in the pockets. Despite the chilly weather, she wore only a black t-shirt. Her hair was tied in a ponytail that had obviously been made quickly; rebellious locks were falling on her shoulders. And, of course, her headphones were buried in her ears.

“It’s not my job to criticize Hurley’s choice to accept a girl in our ranks,” the supervisor continued, walking in front of everyone with a stiff gait, his burning gaze grazing everyone. “But whatever. It’s like that, so we deal with it.” He spat on the ground in front of Mitch’s feet who didn’t flinch, his eyes continuing to fix the void in front of him until the supervisor passed so he could watch the girl again. “There is no exception for girls. However.”

The supervisor stopped in front of the girl who was staring at him from the beginning, her eyes placed directly in his. And she never looked down.

“The new ones can have a second chance.” He detailed the girl from top to bottom and raised an eyebrow. “You can all thank Y/n…” he insisted on her name echoing in the forest, a name Mitch repeated mentally, “for what will follow. Everyone, 100 push ups more. And the nice lady too.” His attention turned to the girl again, his brows furrowed. “And you didn’t even hear a fucking thing I said huh, with your earphones …” He lazily pointed at the white threads attached to her ears. “I don’t know why they let you wear that and I don’t care. ON THE GROUND!”

All of them went to the ground, some grumbling their discontent towards Y/n, while others, like Mitch, fell silent and began to work. A last glance away from the ground allowed him to see the girl placed in position, going up and down with her little arms that were strong and steady.

Everyone, including Mitch, wondered if there was music in her ears since she could understand the superior’s orders. Perhaps it was the loud and aggressive voice of the man shouting at her that had allowed her to understand, or simply that her music wasn’t playing loudly.

But the truth was different. And no one could know.

Almost all of the recruits had begun running, already done with their push ups. Everyone? No. A rookie was staying behind, running around on the same spot, a white, old-fashioned electronic device in her hand as she looked in her playlist for a song… No, the song that would allow her to run and surpassed everyone who had taken the lead. Her y/e/c eyes scanned the screen quickly as her finger scrolled through the songs, not hearing the screams of her superior shouting about her lack of participation. But she didn’t care more than that because her thumb had stopped moving, having found the perfect song. If she could have had any facial expression, Y/n would have smiled while reading the name of the song when she pressed play, the much loved and expected melody pouring into her ears. As soon as her head was invaded, her closed eyes reopened and she started to mouth the words.

Empty spaces - what are we living for

Abandoned places - I guess we know the score

On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for…

Her arms went up in the air, ignoring the glances of judgment thrown her way. The lyrics lived in her and running just didn’t matter when Freddy Mercury’s voice sounded so sweetly in her ears.

Another hero, another mindless crime

Behind the curtain, in the pantomime

Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore

Y/n still hadn’t started running and the supervisors had gathered around her, continuing to threaten that the consequences would be worse than an expulsion on the first day. Disturbed in her song by the shouting, the rookie suddenly turned her head towards the supervisor and stared at him without saying anything, the music continuing to make his words unintelligible. Feeling that the chorus was coming, Y/n raised her hand to the supervisor, her face usually expressionless showed a little mocking smile when she finally raised her middle finger, taking her action as a cue.

The show must go on,

The show must go on

Inside my heart is breaking

My make-up may be flaking

But my smile still stays on.

Transported by the music, her heels planted in the frozen ground and left visible traces of her passage. Her legs went into action, one step after another separated from a great distance, making her catch up. Nothing could stop her when music made her body feel alive, the sound in her head giving her heart a new motivation. Soon, the surroundings became a mere unimportant color around her, her breathing beginning to burn her chest. Heel, foot, bend the knee. Her way of running exceeded the perfection and the aerodynamics of her little body made her catch up in only a few minutes, the song fading out while she passed another rookie with a face just as insignificant. A new song began, not so fast and catchy, but just enough to give her the energy to continue.

Ooh you make me live

Whatever this world can give to me

It’s you you’re all I see

Ooh you make me live now honey

Ooh you make me live

Y/n had almost arrived at the beginning of the race squad when a sudden sadness took her. Her legs that were transported by so much energy suddenly slowed down as a buried memory resurfaced despite the heavy weight she had put on top of it to never remember. Her run slowed down - only a little at first, but then drastically. And then all the recruits impressed by her speed were disappointed to see that it was only fire, impressive but in reality nothing more than a show.

Mitch had the habit of never giving everything he had during the race, keeping his energy to not catch hateful looks at his very strong cardio. This wasn’t obviously the case for everyone and the young man noticed when the girl overtook everyone at a surprising speed, only to catch up to her a few meters away. He took a last look back before returning to his path, only to see Y/n’s gaze sink into the void as a cinematic memory looped through her brain. That’s when Mitch hesitated. Something told him to go his way, that she just had to be exhausted from having run that far in a short time, but something else told him it was more than that.

So he decided in a groan and slowed down to reach her height. Y/n was hardly running, her usually imperturbable face seemed broken by something going on in her head. There was even a moment when she stopped moving completely, stopped in the middle of the race path, the other recruits passing by, some ignoring her and others sending insults. Her chest went up and down quickly with the lack of breath, but it was indeed much more. Y/n should learn to make better playlists because the lyrics of the song - usually beautiful, joyful and full of life - were synonymous of sadness for the girl.

You’re the first one

When things turn out bad

You know I’ll never be lonely

You’re my only one

And I love the things

I really love the things that you do

Ooh you’re my best friend

“I know what you think. But that’s not what you think,” a young girl with a radiant smile and a joyful face laughed softly, holding in her hands a small box that might seem innocuous to many people. But not for the man in front of her. “For you,” she murmured, holding back a small laugh, stretching out the gift with her little arms. The man took it gently as if it was the most beautiful and precious thing in the world, as if what the box contained was worth thousands of dollars. The man opened the box, took out the papers that were there to take in his hands a rectangular object.

“Y/n … you didn’t have to …” His hands found the colorful paper that came with the object, reading the clumsy, misspelled handwriting of the little girl.

“Happy birthday! You are more than my dad, you’re my best friend,” she laughed softly, taking the man in her arms as best as she could.

“And you are my sunshine.”

That day, happiness reigned in the house echoing with a certain song full of joy that played in a loop for hours. Their song. You’re My Best Friend by Queen.

“Hey, you alright? ”

A figure that wasn’t part of her memory was near her, standing at a respectful distance and snapping his fingers in front of her face. Y/n came out of her thoughts; her eyes temporarily inhabited by emotions resumed their dull and uninteresting hue as they landed on her interlocutor. He was taller than her- well, it wasn’t too hard to overtake her anyway, his hair was rather long and in dire need of a cut and he wore an early maltreated beard. His brown eyes were dark and Y/n knew immediately they were once shining with a bright golden hue.

“Leave me alone.”

That was all she said before starting to run, not turning around, the next song of her playlist pounding through her ears. Mitch just couldn’t believe it: he had bothered to stop, turn around to make sure everything was okay and that’s what he got? The young man vowed to stop paying attention to the new recruit, to never do anything to help her again.

Mitch resumed his run, remembering that the last two to arrive would be deprived of dinner and supper. He really didn’t want to get that punishment for trying to help someone, but the rule was clear: never go back for anyone. And he had just done exactly the opposite for a stranger he only knew the name of.

He knew he wouldn’t make it, well, he could start running the faster but it would surely attract too much attention to him, and he didn’t want that. So, Mitch accepted his defeat and resumed his run at the same speed as before.

And indeed, he arrived last, just after Y/n.

The instructors and all the other recruits were waiting for them at the end of the course. Their vulture eyes stared at both of them, satisfied smiles stamped with pettiness on their faces, all glad that they weren’t the last. Mitch didn’t respond to the provocations, didn’t look at anyone in the eye, and simply walked to the Barn wordlessly as he passed by Y/n. Unlike him, she stared at Mitch the entire time, still wondering why the young man had risked a day of meals to help her. But no matter the reason, an emotion she tried to swallow discreetly got caught in her throat.

Guilt.

After sighing silently, the only woman in the group followed the last of the inward race where the training was about to resume. Training, that’s what everyone thought they were doing. Some quick-witted people had understood, however. It was a recruitment camp. And Mitch seemed to be, for the moment, the rookie most likely to be chosen.

Lunch arrived and only two people stared at their empty plates, several meters away from each other on the big table. Y/n distanced herself from everyone because, as Mitch had noticed, half of the recruits were a little too much interested in her. The men circled around Y/n like hungry vultures around their prey, standing around her all the time, asking questions that were all passing in the void. Her head went from left to right, following the music in her ears as she ignored the assaults of the men. Y/n’s fingers drummed on the table like on a piano, following the melody as her foot began to beat to the rhythm of the song I want to break free. In other circumstances, the lyrics would have made the girl laugh because, in the situation she was in, she really would have liked to get free from everyone and have some quiet time alone.

The moment came, something she knew that would eventually happen. Y/n was mentally prepared for the eventuality because man’s impatience is sometimes followed by acts that may be violent. Frustrated at being ignored, one of the rookies tore the earphones from the girl’s ears, pulling brutally on the white wire hanging in front of her and causing the music to disappear immediately. Y/n remained frozen in shock, the shrill sound returned with even more force in her right ear. Her hands grabbed without seeing the empty and untouched plate on the table, and stood up like a robot. The man who had taken off the earphones by force laughed, his disgusting mouth wide open made her feel nauseous. Y/n had no expression when she slammed the plate on the recruit’s head, plate breaking into several pieces under the impact. The blow made a sound of broken crockery that mixed with the cries of pain of the man. The sound of the other recruits’ gasps of surprise was quickly followed by a long and heavy silence. Y/n stared at everyone, her usually expressionless eyes displaying a burning rage challenging anyone to try her. Then, still without saying anything, she leaned over, picked up her earphones that still emitted sound and put them back in her ears. Y/n then left the cafeteria without hearing the insults of the man who was now very angry too.

The scene that had just happened hadn’t failed to attract attention. Almost everyone had witnessed it, and Mitch hadn’t lost a single moment and mentally remembered to never try touching the earphones of the new recruit. The young man got up from his seat and headed for the training section, passing in front of the rookie who had the audacity to try making fun of Y/n. The rookie, whose name Mitch couldn’t remember, had an open cut on his forehead, a little blood dripping from it to the floor. No matter where she was or how many years of training she had, Y/n wasn’t going to be able to escape the revenge of her victim. At least he knew she could run fast.

The next part of the day’s training was languages, nothing very exhausting. The class consisted of sitting in what looked like a classroom in front of a man who taught various languages. Today’s class, like yesterday’s and all the others of the week, was French, a child’s game for Y/n who spoke fluently the language. So instead of listening to the monotonous words of the instructor who also had a strong accent, the young woman searched in her playlist of the day to put on a song that would pass the time faster. After a few seconds she decided and let herself be lulled by the melody of Bohemian Rhaspody.

The next part promised to be more arduous, because it was the moment to show abilities in hand-to-hand combat.

The recruits were out in the forest and formed a line in front of what everyone called the circle. You had to go in there, fight against someone else and get him out of the circle… or knock him out.

During the entire ordeal, Hurley circled around. He made a point of stopping everyone occasionally, helpfully reminding them that none of them were good enough. Yet.

Most of the recruits had already passed. Half were severely injured and very angry at having lost, the others proudly displaying their victory on their faces. Despite looking everywhere around her, Y/n couldn’t see the man she had almost knocked out with her plate that very morning.

She found her attention shifting from that detail, though, when her attention was recaptured by the fighting. Her eyes never looked away from what was happening, quickly memorizing techniques that made moves more powerful. Y/n had many talents, but also too many flaws. And fighting was not her strong suit.

She could hit as hard as she could, dodge as best as possible the blows of her opponent, remove the knife they had in their hand, but she could never succeed and win. The young woman could already feel Hurley’s imposing gaze burn her neck and the words horrible, useless and pathetic bend his lips with disappointment. Nervousness made her hands sweaty as she watched the other recruits fight.

So caught in her anxiousness, time seemed to slip away, and all too soon it was her turn.

“Y/n, Mitch. ”

Y/n didn’t need to hear her name to know it was her turn. Legs still a little stiff from the inevitable stress of being beaten up and receiving a sermon on her incompetence in combat, she went to the middle of the circle and waited to see her opponent. When her gaze fell on him, a spark of recognition spread through her normally expressionless eyes. She had to fight him?

“With all due respect, I don’t fight girls. ”

His lips didn’t move fast when he was speaking so Y/n had no difficulty understanding his words, although he said them very low as if he didn’t want her to hear. Her hands formed fists and she clenched her jaw. There was still music playing in her earphones, which she had run over her back so she wouldn’t get caught in them, but she could barely hear the song. Suddenly, her fear of being beaten up disappeared under the rage of being again pushed aside because she wasn’t born with the right sex between her legs.

“Is it a refusal to fight?” Hurley walked the distance to Mitch to say his words in front of his face, their noses mere inches from each other.

“No, it’s a refusal to fight a girl,” he corrected. His level of sarcasm was hidden under a layer of polished satin to mask his lack of respect.

“Well, I would’ve made you skip your meals for that answer, but it’s already the case.” Hurley stepped back with a grin before looking at the girl who was still waiting, quietly following the conversation of the two men. “Get out of my sight. Tomorrow you will fight, trust me. Until then have good dreams.”

Y/n found herself breathing out a sigh of relief; this time, she managed to get through it. If the putting looks she’d got from Stan were any indication, she’d bet he had her file and knew hand-to-hand combat was her weakness. And even if he didn’t, she was sure the terrified expression she’d worn for the duration of the activity would have given her away. The nervousness could be easily read on her face because even Mitch noticed it immediately. Usually, Y/n never let any emotion betray her face, but she would have to review her techniques because her mask had cracked. And Rapp had seen beneath it more than once.

If it couldn’t be worse, her belly emitted a painful gurgling reminding her of how hungry she was. And she wasn’t the only one suffering from an empty stomach.

After training, it was the evening meal. Similarly to the morning, Mitch and Y/n weren’t eating anything. Y/n found that being in a room full of food, the appetising scent all around her, was very unpleasant. She didn’t last long before she decided to escape the loud, crowded place for the quiet sanctuary of her room. Mitch was quick to do the same and thus enjoy the hot water before all the other recruits decided to use it.

It was the end of the day, finally, and everyone had been sleeping for a few hours already in the big room where all the beds were. Everyone was a general term because among the strong breaths and snores, gurgles of a stomach also resonated. Skipping a day of meals and keeping the same pace of training were two things that didn’t mix.

Mitch turned to the side, back turned to the door, and hoped that he wouldn’t feel the hunger bite him. As he was trying to ignore the sounds his stomach made, he heard something that alerted him. The young man tensed, ready to react to the slightest sudden movement.

A hand squirmed on his mouth suddenly and his eyes fluttered opened, one of his hands gripping his assailant from behind while his other gripped their wrist. It must have been the very unusual circumference of the wrist or the strange sweetness of the skin that caught his attention. Something was wrong, because Mitch stopped struggling to turn his head and see who was there. His eyes, acclimatized to the darkness, recognized Y/n, who, with her free hand, had placed her index finger at the corner of her mouth. More intrigued than surprised, Mitch nodded and the girl pulled her hand off his mouth before taking a few backwards steps. She then pointed the door with her thumb and tiptoed towards the exit without making any noise, not waiting for him, assuming he was going to follow. And that’s what he did.

It didn’t take long for Mitch to understand where the girl was taking him, but the reason why was still a mystery. Usually, Mitch was a person with an ability to understand things out of the ordinary. But since the arrival of Y/n, a single day in her presence had seemed to unbalance his entire emotional stability.

Y/n was really making no sound while walking and it surprised the young man even more. How could she know whether or not she was making noise if she was constantly listening to music? And above all, why did she always listen to music?

The questions had been turning in his head without stopping since she’d arrived, questions that he had forced himself to keep to himself. Despite having heard her speak once, Mitch still suspected that Y/n was unable to talk.

Finally, after a few corridors, they arrived at a closed door that the girl opened. She entered and waited for Mitch to do the same before closing the door behind them, plunging them both into total darkness, which alerted the nervous young man. The latter was ready to defend himself, wondering if he had done well to follow her so far. But the sudden blinding light confirmed that, aside from a plate on his head, Y/n wouldn’t hurt him.

His eyes took several seconds to acclimatize to the sudden light and he winced at the pain that made his retinas hurt. However, when finally he could see where he was, Mitch didn’t regret having followed Y/n.

The two recruits were in a large room. In the middle, against the wall was a double bed that seemed inviting, and comfortable. On the left, a window hidden behind closed shutters. On the right, a closet. And against the wall near him was an office. On the desk were tens of MP3s of different colors and shapes, perfectly aligned next to each other.

Mitch realized that the room he was in was Y/n’s private room, and a twinge of jealousy was smothered as best he could at the thought of her being treated favorably. Then he remembered that it was probably to protect her from recruits who had big arms and their brains between their legs.

The best part, however, was in front of him. Y/n was standing and waiting patiently, her hair licking her shoulders, the traditional white wire of her headphones linking her ears to a device in her hands. As sleep clothes she was wearing a t-shirt too big for her.

She wore nothing as pants. Her long legs were thin but muscular, allowing her to run for many hours without problems. The skin was smooth and he suspected it had to be incredibly soft to caress.

Mitch’s honey-brown eyes went elsewhere when he felt a desire that all men have when seeing a beautiful woman because he couldn’t afford to feel such things. Planted in the middle of her room, he still wondered what he was doing there and why he had agreed to follow her. But he knew it quickly when he saw what she was holding in her hands.

“Here.”

Only one word was spoken and Mitch had trouble pairing the young woman’s voice with her appearance. Broken, hoarse and low, her word was barely audible, but he understood all the same. In her hands, Y/n was holding two packets wrapped in cellophane which he recognized as peanut butter and jam sandwiches. He hesitated between apple and strawberry jam as he could only see the red color soaked the transparent paper. Distrustful, Mitch reached out and took one of the small packets, only to rest his eyes on Y/n, raising an eyebrow.

“Why?”

The new recruit sighed back and sat with her foot under her thighs on her bed, not caring that her gesture revealied more of her legs and… Panties. “It was my fault that you didn’t eat. So here’s some food.” She dropped her powder-blue MP3 on the mattress next to her and began undoing the cellophane of her sandwich.

Mitch had turned his head away when he had seen too much of her anatomy, red tinting his cheeks too quickly for his liking. He would have liked to be able to hide behind his years of training to not show his obvious embarrassment so openly.

His hand squeezed the meager meal and he swallowed before looking back at the girl who was slowly eating her meal in silence. “That’s it?” Mitch asked in a hoarse, low voice, almost a whisper, still not touching his meal.

“I stole it, if that’s what you’re asking yourself,” Y/n answered without looking at him, and Mitch tilted his head to the side, again surprised that she’d heard what he had said despite her earphones.

Intrigued by her unusual personality, Mitch made a decision he wouldn’t usually make. Instead of just taking what she gave him and leaving, he approached Y/n and sat on the bed near her but at a safe distance, and what’s more, on the edge of the mattress. The discomfort was written in capital letters all over him. After a moment in silence, Mitch undid the cellophane and ate too. And it was only when his tongue tasted peanut butter that he remembered how hungry he was. Oh, it was apple jam.

Feeling that he had to say something, Mitch turned to the girl to look at her again and found Y/n very beautiful. She was a mysterious exotic beauty that probably hid many things behind the imperturbable mask. Rapp swallowed another mouthful before opening his mouth to speak.

“Why?”

He had already asked this question, but this time it was rather rhetorical. Just because he had finished last at the race didn’t mean she had to steal food in the cafeteria and risk getting fired only for a lean but delicious meal. And again, Mitch guessed right because Y/n turned her head towards him to answer. Her eyes plunged into his as she got lost in his beautiful eyes for a moment. Y/n felt so deeply absorbed in his eyes that she lost her breath for a moment, drowning in the torment she found there. It was hard to, but she managed to get out of his grip and decided to fix on another part of his face. Her gaze fell to his lips. Uh oh, bad idea. Immediately, a perverse thought invaded her mind as she imagined all the things his mouth could do. Her tongue slipped out and went to lick her lips before she realized what she was doing and shook her head. After sighing, this time loudly, Y/n honestly answered his question. She didn’t know it yet, but at that moment her heart was beating faster than it had been in years. It was beating, alive, intimidated and somehow inhabited an attraction hidden under a heavy layer of denial.

“I hate to feel those emotions… It’s…disgusting. So I fixed the problem.” Y/n punctuated her answer by crumpling the cellophane and tossing it in her trash like a basketball player. The object flew for a few moments in the air before touching its target.

It was an answer once again unsatisfactory, but Mitch understood and read between the lines. Y/n felt bad, hated the feeling so made sure to not feel it anymore. The young man could understand because he often felt the need to remove the uncomfortable emotions that dwelt in his mind. However, for him, it wasn’t guilt he wanted to silence.

“Okay. Excuse accepted, I guess.” Rapp got up and threw the remains of his meal into the trash, ready to leave without adding anything. However, he heard a faint ‘wait’ and didn’t immediately know if it was Y/n or his imagination. So the young man turned around, a hand on the doorknob and a raised eyebrow in anticipation of a sequel.

“I …” Y/n stood up and, like a cat, silently and skillfully walked towards him, her long legs carrying her on tiptoes near him. His body tensed as she approached and he lost again all his ability. “Tomorrow, I’ll have to do it. I can’t avoid fighting all my life.” Once again, Mitch could see an emotion in Y/n’s face, discomfort? Despair? No - ego. "I fucking suck,” she finally admitted, now very close to Mitch. Too close. He could smell her lavender soap and coconut shampoo. “Teach me. ”

“What?” Mitch couldn’t believe it. Had he heard correctly? The new recruit who seemed flawless, who probably had some kind of favoritism from Irene Kennedy to have her own room and bed and who never seemed to show her emotions asked him for help? To teach her how to fight?

"Teach me,” she repeated as if it was what she said that he had misunderstood, not that he was surprised.

“I understood the first time you said it,” Mitch continued, keeping all his control to not back down and look weak. Without his years of training he would probably have just left. “Why me?”

“You are not like the others.” Y/n tilted her head to the side, her hair slipping over her shoulders even more as her big sad eyes watched him with curiosity. "I hate everyone here. Everyone. They are stupid, don’t see with their eyes and all have misplaced brains. I don’t hate you. You are intelligent, you observe, you see. You listen. ”

Mitch didn’t know if he should take her words as a compliment or just a way to get him accepted. Y/n was smart and handling wasn’t a problem for her. However, the more he thought about it and the more he turned the words in his head the less he thought it was the case. He didn’t think she was manipulating him. She wanted to learn, her eyes shone with the desire to know, to fight, to get better.

“What do I get in exchange? ”

It wasn’t a yes, nor a no. Mitch weighed the pros and cons again. He was a lone wolf. He worked best alone and the only reason for his presence here was the obligation of the CIA and the help he could get that would allow him to achieve his goal faster. Helping a rookie he knew for a day was clearly not in his priorities and would deflect him from his original plan.

“I can help you with languages,” she offered, but when she saw Mitch shake his head, she realized that her knowledge of languages didn’t exceed his.

“Je n’ai aucun problème en langue,” he told her, a tiny smile stretching his lips as he pronounced the words in French without any problem.

Y/n put her index to the corner of her mouth, looking for another offer to propose, a gesture Mitch didn’t missed as he stared at her finger without realizing it. “Aiming? ”

“I’m good. ”

A silence fell again between the two recruits, then Y/n found the ideal compromise.

“A question.”

“What?”

Mitch folded his arms, quickly understanding what she meant.

“I know you’re asking yourself a lot of questions about me. So every time you train me, you’ll have the right to ask me one question. Anything.”

It was a very interesting proposition to the young man who was more and more curious. “Who tells me you’ll answer honestly?” He grinned, a little amused.

"I don’t see the purpose of lying.” Y/n was surprised by how much she was speaking. It must have been years since she had had a conversation with another human being who took the time to talk to her as if she were a normal person. And that warmed her heart in a very special way.

"Okay,” Mitch concluded and crossed his arms over his chest as he pondered a question, licking his lips as he used to when he thought. “How do you understand what people say while you’re listening to music? ”

His question wasn’t too personal, or too vague, and he had been wondering since the morning when she arrived late at the race.

Y/n shrugged a shoulder as she walked to her closet, pulled out a pair of training shorts and slipped on it quickly before tying her hair coarsely. Then she passed by Mitch, closed the light and answered in the dark.

“I read lips.”

Without waiting for him, the girl came out of her room and went to the training room. It was clear to understand, she had answered the question and now it was time for training. And Mitch knew she had told the truth.

But why she read lips was another question. And why did she learn to?

But his questions would have to wait because, for the moment, he had to train a rookie without experience before the sunrise.

Mitch allowed a smile to stretch across his dry lips as he followed Y/N, something he hadn’t let himself do in a very long time. He comforted himself with the knowledge that no one could see him in the dark, anyway.

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