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#I'm giving the girlies (me) everything they've (I've) ever wanted
dbphantom · 1 year
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Thought process: wow I have so many tabs open on my Firefox what the hell was I do-
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Carry on.
#The other 7 tabs were also H2O related. Namely Max and Gracie's pages as well as Charlotte's#I also had a really funny page open that described mako island completely incorrectly? Describing lost ruins from a bygone civilization#Scattered across the island. Which I guess could technically be from Mako Island of Secrets (with the merman chamber) but like...#The images they attached were of old decaying bridges and temples so I don't think so!#This fic has been a journey and a half#Season 2 is suddenly at least 5 episodes longer#In my defense I really think it'll be worth it for the payoff at the end. I hope.#I'm giving the girlies (me) everything they've (I've) ever wanted#Cruddy rambles#... It is essentially just the show but Lewis is a fish now#I love all the other merman Lewis fics too but they do tend to deviate from canon a lot. Which isn't a bad thing!! Just not what I'm vibing#With atm so I'm writing what I want#I mean it is a whole rewrite so deviating from canon is implied but y'know what I mean? I just want s2 but with a few tiny details changed#A lot of them tend to be removed from the '[generally] slice of life but with mermaids' style of canon#Which is what I'm really vibing with atm as I'm currently in a tumultuous period of my life#So like absolutely no hate to those styles. I fucking adore them (and am heartbroken one author who posted recently never came back after#I posted a comment on their work talking about MA Zewis 😭😭😭) because holy shit their stuff slaps hard as hell and I love all of them#I'm the number 1 merman Lewis fan#I Stan every single person who has posted art or writing for that style of au#Just to make it absolutely fuckin clear that I mean no hate whatsoever. I just wanna throw my own hat into the ring yknow?
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kentopedia · 2 months
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Can you drop some long series recs (any fandom!)?! I haven't had any come across my dash >.< Would love to read some!
omg of course!! I HAVE SO SO MANY RECS! a lot of the ones i've seen recently are ongoing, but i hope you give them a go & keep watching for updates <3 i have read quite a variety, so hopefully there's something for you tehe. some of them i haven't read yet, but have been on my list bc i enjoy their other works :) so i recommend them to since i know the writers are amazing!!
across the universe by @lovedazai (dazai, complete) - mai actually just posted the last part yesterday, so this is a great one to start with tehe. everything she writes is so lovely & she knows dazai sooo well. i'm so excited to see finish it!
to have and to hold by @fedyenkas (chuuya, ongoing) - i just started this one today & it's so so amazing so far !! chuuyas characterization in it is sooo yummy. i haven't read a hybrid series before, so it's super unique to see how that fits into the bsd universe.
noble blood by @forest-hashira (satoru & suguru, ongoing) - i haven't read this one yet, but both of fallon's entries for my collab were incredible, so i can only imagine this is too! plus, the premise is SO insane, it's about dragon riders, and there's an entire sheet with all lore that they've created !! i can see how much love and care was put into this one, so i can't wait to check it out !!
oh, baby! by @tetsuskei (kuroo, ongoing) - i have yet to read the first part (everyone throw tomatoes at me) but risu posted some parts on her old blog & i read it there! it's so so sweet!! i looove all her writing, and dad!kuroo is just the cutest thing EVER.
waterloo by @fyorina (dazai, ongoing) - i haven't read this one yet either but i am SO SO incredibly excited to get to it. this one is going to be long, so it might be what you're looking for !! the first two parts are out already, and there's a posting schedule if you want to know when they're coming out :)
bulletproof love by @staryukis (gojo, ongoing) - i've really enjoyed this one so far and logan's writing is so captivating <3 it feels just like missing scenes from in between the canon jjk storyline. logan also has a mini zombie apocalypse series i've been excited to read after reading the other series !! it's dying (for your love).
regrets by @/kingkonoha (levi, complete) is so good !! i still need to finish it, but the concept is super cool & the reader is the antagonist so it's a really interesting spin on levi's actions in the canon universe.
tidal temptations by @fyodorloveclub (fyodor, ongoing) - i have also yet to read this one (cries myself to sleep my tbr is never ending), but everything flora writes is incredible, so i have no doubt this one is too. it's a merman fyodor fic, which is such a cool concept i'm so excited to see where it goes !!!
hell within reach by @/ddarker-dreams (chrollo, complete) - omg. ok i read this one like 2 years ago LOL, but it's finished and its about 80k long, and it's so good <3 i used to be an insane chrollo girlie & this is one of my favorite fics about him.
lover's delight by @lovelyluc (diluc, ongoing) - i don't even play genshin or know anything about it HSHFSDFH but this one is so sweet <3 you can really see how much awea loves diluc in this series, which is my favorite thing about reading fics, and it has so many of my favorite tropes !!
geheinisse by @honeybleed (jean & reiner, ongoing) - only the first part of this is out but it's SO INCREDIBLE. there's so much drama already, and nara does such a great job of setting the scene while getting you hooked immediately. nara also has a two part reiner fic (the first part is decades) that's completed and over 10k words that i'll never forget! her characterization of reiner is so yummy.
if it wasn't for him (would you have me) by @gojoath (yuuta, ongoing) - cella's the ceo of yandere yuuta, so if you're into him, i can't think of anyone else to recommend !!! cella wrote another yuuta series that i think is completed, so there are lots of amazing things to read on her blog <3
@osaemu has a streamer!gojo series that are all in the same universe & connect! they're so funny & everything sabs writes is amazing, so i encourage you to check out her work if you haven't
the lakehouse by @tetzoro (kuroo, ongoing) - rahhh i'm the worst bc i still haven't read this but aims is one of my favorite writers on here, so trust me it's amazing. this was written for october, so if you're missing autumn rn def read this one! aims also has another kuroo series coming soon <3
i know i left some people out, so if you're ever in need of any other recs, pls lmk tehe. and if you're a mootie of mine but have a series i didn't include, send it my way <3 but hopefully all these amazing ones will get you started!
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Apparently I'm in a mood to give commentary, y'all, so here we go
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[I made this meme, please be nice and don't repost it without giving credit 🥺🥺🥺]
I've seen a lot of episodes scattered throughout all the seasons so I'm currently in a full watch starting from the beginning. I'm currently on 2x13, an episode I've already seen but it's been awhile
It's the episode with that Frank dude. Didn't he have some girl he was in love with that was at the center of all his shit though?? I don't know, I can't remember, guess I'll find out as we go along
Oh damn, I didn't realize he'd been killing for that fucking long 💀💀
Same, man, same
(Totally off topic but Nebraska's just became one of my sycronicities and they're literally in Nebraska so that's fun 💀)
"YoU rEaLly ThInK wE hAvE a SeRiAl KiLlEr In OuR tOwN?" Bro, shut up, you're town isn't excluded from psychopaths and people with issues, anything can happen 💀💀
"Is it just me or are we not very welcome here?" Reid, you're so cute, ilysm
THAT'S HER ISN'T SHE
THAT'S FRANK'S CRAZY GIRLFRIEND
RIGHT???
I could be completely wrong on that but oh well, lmao
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jane!!! Totally his girlfriend or whatever
Poor Garcia, she has to see so much gross shit :((
Oh yes, there is another connection
They all drive along the same highway
This Aflac commercial is so dumb, bro
Like the colors of that chess board though
That's such a nice diner. Poor lady, just finding out that she's been serving a sadistic serial killer milkshakes for all these years. I guarantee you've served more than just one at some point, honey, a side of the road trailer diner right by the highway like that
"Do YoU tHiNk I'm InSaNe?" No, bro, I KNOW you insane
Gideon's just like, "Bitch, do not play me right now, I know that you know that I know that you've tortured and killed dozens of people, and my knowledge makes me more dangerous than you 🙄😤"
HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE
Holy fuck
That's
I don't wanna think about that, tbh
BEING STUCK IN A K-HOLE 💀💀💀
I vaguely recognize the police officer lady that took them to Jane but that might just be cause I've seen this episode before
Awww, young Jane was so pretty
She thought Frank was an alien 💀💀💀
He just basically said loners in so many other unnecessary words 💀
Yeah, Jason. What's the psychopath got in the bag, huh?
I recognize that dude with the shotgun, too, lmao
Another ad break, ugh
In other news, my cat came to visit on her way to the window
I don't care about ikea 😤
Oh, and we're back now
What's in the baaaaggggg
"We are all sons of bitches" Damn, bro, that's rude
Imagine if tickets were as big as heads
Last time I heard someone say "S.O.B." was in Supernatural, I think
MONTAGE
"To get away with murder, you simply don't tell anyone" Yeah, I think we already know that, guys 💀
They've figured it out! Good job for being smart, guys!
I love Garcia and JJ's friendship 🤣🤣🤣
WHY WOULD SHE TAKE SOME CRAZY LADY FROM JAIL TO HER HOUSE
Just found out snapshot from progressive is not available in both California and North Carolina
They're like right across from each other on a map, that's the weirdest thing ever 💀💀
Dammit, I want a milkshake now, tbh
He wants his girly friiieeennndddd
Don't Frank and Jane both end up dead by the end of this episode
Oh great, he's artsy crafty
And we've now caught up to present times
The same happy chemicals that come in chocolate also come in peas, what 💀💀💀
Oh god, ew
Reid's face when he sees everything in the gross torture and murder room :(((
Awwww, he fell in wove
Yet another ad break 😩
And we're back for the final home stretch
Not the little kiddies :((
Awww, they're so made for each other
In their very own weird twisted way
"I cOuLdN't HaVe ThAt On My CoNsCiEnCe" Bro, nothing goes on your conscience to begin with 💀💀💀
"I'll kill myself"
"Call me first" 💀💀💀
Did he really just hike that entire 2 miles 💀💀
"We'll find them" He says, looking confidently into the distance.
"Sure, Jan." I whisper, from behind a bush.
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malboraslihan · 5 months
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okay i hear you on that concert shit LMFAOOOO like that sounds rough!! but i'm glad you got to see her so many times<3 okay yes literally obsessed with rachel and tom right now........ had to go rewatch tbosbas like 2 days after initially watching it because i was so into it! and i absolutely LOVE having muses for so long - and especially dob from teen wolf era! brother you've been through it huh<3 i'm getting a lot of good info here...... lot of good info! i'm rapid fire throwing questions at you now. what sort of music would you use to describe patrick (like if you already have a muse playlist, feel free to use that!), what faceclaims would you love to see more resources for, what has been your favorite thing about rp/tumblr for you, and what's some of your favorite movies and why! - ss
please <3 thank you! it's been a long time coming for real, the eras tour was my first tswift tour cause it's the first time she came to brazil rip. but honestly.. i've been wanting to rewatch tbosas ever since i saw it for the first time and the songs from that movie are living in my mind RENT FREE. i can not forget rachel belting can't take my charm out of nowhere... insane. i'm gonna be real with you and say my playlists almost always include taylor swift songs only cause... that's mostly what i listen and draw inspiration from. however.. around the time i made patrick there was one song i always used for edits and that was skyfall by adele. specifically the lines you may have my number, you can take my name but you'll never have my heart as well as the bridge cause it truly represented his feelings towards his twin sister and everything they've faced together to me. other songs i can name are kiss with a fist by florence and the machine, whatever it takes by imagine dragons and if you could see me now by the script. those are probably old as fuck but they're the ones i can remember the most. as for faceclaims i wish had more resources... honestly that's so hard cause i usually jump in to make resources of people i wanna use when they have absolutely none LKADJASKL but recently i became obsessed with adim farah, a turkish show and derya pinar ak who's an absolute beauty but has too little resources. matthew noszka, who's one of my favorite white boys of the month and michael yerger who's also a white boy i love and been wanting to use because i became obsessed with cowboy books. alfie enoch, he's in so many things and the lack of resources that isn't from how to get away with murder is insane.. kazuha from le sserafim, minnie from gidle and god, huh yunjin with her new ginger hair cause they're favorites of mine right now. my favourite thing about writing on tumblr/roleplaying has always been the collaborative aspect of it cause i work constantly with screen writing and while it's amazing to use my creativity i feel that roleplaying truly gives me an opportunity to develop ideas and characters more thoroughly whether it's through plotting or just writing with others. i always feel like my most developed muses are the ones that i created and used through group verses / group rps cause the “forced” interactions with other characters always helps me get to know them more and think about different paths of thoughts and quirks they could have as well as add more to their backstory so it’s always the most fun. i'm always a big big big sucker for group verses settings because of this. i'm almost done.. i promise, i'm rambling too much in these and i promise i'll try to stop KSAJDL but as for movies, i'm very much a horror girlie. my all time favorite (and comfort movie tbh) is scream. but some of my other favorites are the shining (1980) and psycho (1960). i've always been obsessed with the horror genre, mostly cause my cousins would make me watch horror movies when we were younger and spent every summer break together.. chucky is one of my favorite movie characters of all times, i just love him and the movies are some of my favorites as well. i'm a stephen king girlie through and through, even if the most recent it movies aren't the best thing ever i still love the characters so much.. and honestly one of my favorite films ever made is stand by me (1986), i literally cry every single time i watch it cause the whole friendship / growing up and growing apart situation is so beautifully done. the i never had friends like i did when i was 12 quote truly is my roman empire i think about it twice a day.
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dreamerandcrazy · 3 years
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Ok, so I haven't been able to comment much on my Riverdale rewatch mostly bc i'm watching it with my boyfriend and we have an agreement of no cell phones when we're watching, otherwise we can't pay proper attention to it. But I wrote down some notes about the episodes I did watch (I watched up until ep 6, which is very ironic bc apparently today is its anniversary, so yay for my perfect timing). I actually remember most of the stuff that happened in s1, so here's mostly a few things I paid more attention to or noticed about the characters and the ships, or things i'm able to look at through a different view now that i've watched all the seasons. Strap in if you want to see my notes, if not just scroll please, no ship or character hate here please. Also, feel free to ignore, this is really just a personal look in some stuff I didn't notice in my first watch.
- Betty's character used to be much happier and lighter in season 1. I know we're introduced to "Dark Betty" right in episode 3, but still, I feel like the way Lili played Betty in season 1 did not hold the same "darkness" as it does in the following seasons. The scene where she is dancing happily in her bedroom because she's going to homecoming with the boy she likes? The scene where she introduces Jughead to the Blue & Gold and gets him to work with her? Her genuine innocent happiness at seeing her sister again after so much time? The way she interacted with Kevin and Veronica? Those were all chef's kiss because she actually feels like a teenager in them. In all her girly glory, she radiates youth energy and it's a thing that was sadly lacking after s1. Btw this is not a critique at Lili's acting at all, I blame it entirely on Ras and his obsession with dark Betty.
- There's actually so many indications of Cheryl being a lgbt character in the first episodes that I have no idea how I missed it the first time. But then again, there were many indications with Veronica as well, and sadly that's not the path Ras chose for her.
- Jughead in s1 is truly so superior in so many ways that it's not hard to see why he quickly became such a fan favorite. I think even if he wasn't played by Cole Sprouse, he still would have conquered many fans' hearts. Sadly, the things that made Jughead such a loving and interesting character for me also fizzled out in s2 when the writing team decided to make him a woke serpent leader instead of allowing him to sticking to his true personality as a passionate mystery lover, a dedicated friend and very nerdy, which was very cute. I feel that we got some of that back for him in s4, which was good, but sadly s1 is where my love for him really stayed to stay. But I still care for him, and s5 has a promising storyline for him which i'm excited about, so let's see if s5 Jughead can become better than s1 Jughead.
- Going back again to Cheryl for a sec, I just noticed that the red lipstick actually wasn't that common for her in s1? At least not in the first five. I wonder when did it start becoming her trademark? Anyways, it's actually a really good look her and allows you to appreciate Madelaine's natural beauty even more.
- Also, did anybody notice how Alice lowkey figured out who killed Jason in ep 2 lmao, like... in episode two she legit says she wouldn't be surprised if the Blossoms themselves had killed Jason, which... is what happened LMAO, considering we know it was his father. And even more hilarious and tragically ironic note, in ep 6 she's laughing at Betty suggesting that Hal killed Jason because "do you think your father has the stomach for it?!"... Ma'am... i'm-.... 😂😂😂😂.
- This rewatch has reminded me of how much I adored and how I much I miss Josie and the Pussycats. The girls were such a nice addition to the cast, and their songs were so beautiful. I truly wish we get to see them again someday, but at the same time I also think the actresses deserve to be at a work place where they're given the treatment they deserve and not completely ignored and treated like extras.
- Archie/Valerie was super cute and is very underrated in the fandom, but i'm glad Valerie stood up for herself and didn't take any of Archie's or Cheryl's sh*t. Still sucks because they were really good together, though.
- Why was Jason not allowed to talk, lmao? Like, i'm sure it's become a running joke in the show at this point, but back when season one was airing what was the excuse for it? He appeared in so many flashbacks and scenes and we still never heard a single word ☠️☠️☠️☠️. I just want to know what was the reason lol.
- I liked s1 Reggie, but I feel like Charles Melton's Reggie is better because he actually feels like a douche with good intentions lol, and he has more of a personality. Most of the time I even forgot about Reggie in s1, but after s2 he definitely made me more aware of him. So for that, I like Charles Melton's Reggie more. But the actor from s1 still did a good job with what he was given.
From now on I will be talking about the ships, so bear with me, and know that I am a multishipper. Yes, I have my preferences. No, my word is not law, it's just an opinion, so please respect it.
- Bughead is still super cute in s1. I feel like from s1 they will always be my otp, even if I no longer feel as strongly about them now and have a different insight as to where I would like their story to go, and now I definitely see the problem others had mentioned before of how they kind of took over the show, which is something I kind of closed my eyes to before... But I really loved them in s1. It felt like a very juvenile teenage relationship, they didn't give much thought on why and if they should be together, they just went for it like teenagers usually do, and they were very very cute together.
- I feel like if you don't count Beronica (because they really were the best no matter what you say or ship), if there's a ship that deserves "best chemistry" award for s1 is probably Varchie. I lost my interest in them years ago, but this rewatch reminded me of why I actually loved them once. They never really became an otp for me, but Kj and Camila's chemistry in s1 was VERY GOOD, and I really liked them. Their kiss in the pilot was electric and the s&xual tension was OOF, and that chemistry carries on through the season. You can easily tell something will happen between them eventually. It makes me sad bc I don't know what happened after s1, but their chemistry from s2 onwards was just... not there for me. Which is ironic bc it's the season they truly started dating and they got a lot of smexy scenes, but I just... didn't feel it. But I'll leave that comment to my s2 rewatch. For now just let me enjoy Varchie's chemistry in s1 while it lasts because it was really good.
- Now we get to Barchie, who I made clear was the reason for my rewatch, so let's get to it. I LOVED the way Barchie was written in s1. I remember when I first watched Riverdale, I was curious about their dynamic but didn't put much thought into it because I loved Bughead too much and wanted them to be together, and I thought Barchie would be the traditional "first og ship" thing and wouldn't have a big follow up, but boy was I WRONG and am I GLAD for it. I'll talk more about their development in the next seasons when I get there, so for now let's focus a bit on s1. Just in like the first two episodes, there is so much Barchie foreshadowing, like, it's legit insane how it was right there in my face and I missed it the first time! "I have never felt what i'm supposed to feel with betty", "it's not my fault he doesn't like you", "I can't give you the answer you want"... Omg, those are obvious eyebrow raising "this will come back to bite you in the a$$" moments and it's incredible how they actually DO! I would call it clever writing, but like... it's Riverdale lol. So I really am just glad that the ship was done this way, i'm glad Barchie has the back story that they do, they've really come a LONG way and i'm happy I get to experience their whole growing storyline. It's also especially good because s1 actually provides you with scenes that show you their friendship and how they're so close, you see them hanging out, talking, their pictures together, everything was just really done well with them. Still have a bit of critique with the way Archie contradicted himself sometimes regardinf his feelings for Betty, but let's be honest, we've watched enough Riverdale to know that's just a problem with the writing.
- Kevin/Joaquin is still my favorite Kevin ship, i'm sad it's completely impossible to go back to them someday so for now i'll just be really glad it existed and that I got to see them even if it was short-lived. They had great chemistry and their kiss scenes always outsold.
- Beronica... sigh. Beronica. The most wasted chemistry i've ever seen on CW and I've watched a LOT of CW shows. There was so much potential there, s1 was practically overflowing with them and it's one of the reasons it became some popular. I remember when the Beronica fandom was the biggest one, ah, good times. Veronica and Betty were easily the best part of season 1, their friendship, their lowkey romantic moments, they were just superior in every way. This ship deserved better, not even just as a ship, but as a friendship.
- Veronica's s1 hair >>> Veronica's hair in seasons 2-4. I loved the side part and I am glad it's back in season 5, it looks so much better like that.
- Cheryl, as always, deserves better. Can't wait for her to meet Toni so I can watch again Cheryl finally get to love someone and be loved back, which is exactly what she deserves.
For now, that is all! I will probably make another post soon when i'm done with season one and from season two on I will be live-blogging the episodes since I will be watching it alone. Once again, pls, no hate, my thoughts are my thoughts. Peace.
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quaylinsims · 3 years
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True to his word, Henry had the coach driver stop in a town on the way to his cousin's house. At first glance, it was super cute and historic. Everything looked to be from around the Civil War era. Much like Henry's suit and the stagecoach and the "roads" and...
Henry bought a newspaper and asked where one could go to find a pre-made dress for a little girl. He was directed to a corner shop. When we got there, I looked out and noticed the dresses and everything else were also from the 19th century. Henry's newspaper said 1850.
My heart began racing, and my head began pounding. Thoughts started flashing through my mind: How did I end up in 1850? That shouldn't be remotely possible! How do I get home? Can I get home? Do they have plumbing? Does my family know I'm gone? I hate those ruffly hoops skirts. How do I live in an era where women can't even vote? Does my family think I'm dead? Will I ever get home?
I started hyperventilating. Henry patiently waited for me to calm down, and I knew he had no idea how to help. Still, he tried. He put a cautious hand on my back and rubbed it slowly, gently.
Think! Think! One thing at a time! I need to wear clothes. This man is helping me. One thing at a time.
I slowly regained my composure and let Henry know I was ready to go.
Inside, the shop was very girly. The man behind the counter greeted Henry, who in turn said he needed to buy me a few dresses.
A few? Wow.
The man finally looked at me in my tent, his eyes widening. He quickly glanced back at Henry as if to size him up, but the latter was calm as ever.
Soon, I was trying on dresses.
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Then our destination rose up amid the fields .s book, and Henry gave him some money.
"I really appreciate this, Henry," I said when we were back in the coach.
"Mr. Baldwin."
"What?"
He sighed.
"It is inappropriate for a young girl to call a man by his first name. Honestly, child, did no one teach you manners?"
Shit. I really messed that one up. That's right. 19th century. I have to be proper. I've read a lot of period novels and watched a lot of period tv. Thank you, Bridgerton. I can do that.
"Apologies, Mr. Baldwin," I correct. "I can do better. Your generosity is deeply appreciated."
I even bowed my head a little and offered a sheepish smile. He looked stunned at my reversal.
"That is much improved," he said. "Now then, Miss Swan, we will be going to my cousin's house. He is Mr. Tobias Nickelby. He has many... people in his... employ... I trust you will be well-behaved?"
"Of course, Mr. Baldwin."
He nodded and fell silent, reading his newspaper. I recalled some genealogical research I had done and the newspapers I had searched for obituaries. They published a lot of local social news, like who was passing through, who was visiting whom, whether my grandparents' homing pigeons made it back to Cleveland. I smiled and quietly chuckled to myself at the memory. I wondered what was in this newspaper.
We had to stay in an inn that night. We weren't far from Mr. Baldwin's cousin's house, but it was too far to venture further in the night. He rented me my own room for my privacy. I was grateful. It did not take me long to fall asleep, what with the eventful day and all.
We were back on the road in the early morning, eating breakfast at dawn and heading out of town. By noon, we were almost there.
"Now remember, Miss Swan, you are to call my cousin Mr. Nickelby."
"Yes, of course, sir."
He smiled.
We took a turn east. Thick trees on the right, vast fields on the left. There were men and women out working in the fields, wielding tools and carrying baskets.
Then our destination rose up amid the fields and we turned down the long driveway.
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To call Mr. Nickelby's home a house was an understatement. It was a lovely mansion. Lovely until I got a closer look around me. All the workers wore tattered clothes, and none was white. Except for the odd fellow here or there just standing around barking at the others.
I wanted to cry. This was the past. I knew that. This was 1850. Of course slavery was still a thing. But to see it...
"I don't want to be here!"
Mr. Baldwin quickly turned his head at my outburst.
"I can't!"
"What ever is the matter with you?"
Mr. Baldwin sounded more surprised than upset.
"Th-this," I stammered, tears beginning to fall. "This is-isn't ri-ight!"
He looked out as we neared the plantation house's front.
"You are not wrong, child," he nearly whispered. "But we must be respectful of our host."
I wasn't sure if I could do that. I shook my head.
"How is your imagination? Can you pretend they are not there?"
I must have given him quite the stare because he looked back at me with shock.
"Remember your manners."
His tone was almost scolding, but before I could say anything, he was hopping out of the coach.
Mr. Nickelby -- whose formal name I use out of respect for Mr. Baldwin, not the vile filth that owned humans -- greeted his cousin with a roaring "Welcome!" Mr. Baldwin gestured to the coach, and said something about me. The former waved a greeting in my direction and escorted Mr. Baldwin inside.
I had to leave the coach.
I stepped foot onto a working plantation, and I shuddered. I knew from school and documentaries and movies how frighteningly awful they could be. I looked around for something that didn't seem tainted by malevolence, and I saw a small tombstone under a tree.
"That there was Mrs. Nickelby's favorite tree," said a voice behind me.
I turned to find a beautiful woman in a yellow dress and an apron standing about four feet away. I could just make out a scar on her left brow under her hair and a tattoo on her right wrist. She caught me staring at it.
"Come, Miss. There is a room for you."
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She led me upstairs to a very frilly room.
"Thank you," I said, my voice catching in my throat.
I caught sight of her tattoo again. I knew it was a brand. I wanted to cry again.
"I am so, so sorry," I say, trying not sob.
"I'm surprised you care, Miss. If I may say so."
"Of course you may. And I promise you: this will all end one day."
She gave me one of those looks adults give children when they've said something so innocent that their naivity is both adorable and sad. I knew this look; I'd given it to my nephews. It broke my heart that she didn't have that hope.
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I did not go down to dinner that night. For the next three days, Mr. Nickelby entertained Mr. Baldwin, and I ate what little I could in my room. I never met his daughter, and she never tried to introduce herself to me. Though I understood we were about the "same" age.
Finally, Mr. Baldwin knocked on the door.
"Come in."
He entered, took one look at my I-just-finished-ugly-crying face, and frowned.
"What has you so upset, child?"
I couldn't talk about how I was stuck 171 years before my "present" and so far removed from those I cared for, but I felt I could possibly mention the horrors I knew about and even had seen from my window. I took a deep breath.
"I hate this place," I admitted. "Enslaving humans beings, it's just so wrong!"
He pulled the chair from the corner to the side of the bed.
"Just yesterday, I saw an overseer whip a man so violently that--"
I had to pause. I didn't think I had more in me.
"It was awful. The crack of the whip. The blood. I could tell what it was even at night."
I buried my face in my hands and tried some deep breathing exercises.
"I am sorry, Miss Swan. No child should have to see that."
I looked up at Mr. Baldwin.
"No human should have to endure that," I answered.
My tone was harsher than I would have liked it to be, but Mr. Baldwin didn't show any shock or disppointment.
"Well, we will be leaving in the morning," he said, rising from the chair. "Hopefully you will feel better once we are on our way."
Through the lens of the 21st century, it nearly enraged me that he wasn't more upset by things. Everywhere I looked, everything I saw reminded me that I was in 1850, yet I could not wrap my head around what I knew to be an ass-backward, hateful, ignorant way of life.
It was somewhat of a relief that Mr. Baldwin at least also disagreed with what those in the south were doing.
It took two weeks to get to Philadelphia. I was relieved to be in the North. I was just about to ask Mr. Baldwin if I would be staying with him.
"I have written ahead to a cousin of mine here in Philadelphia," he told me over breakfast. "She is a teacher at a school for girls, and I have secured you a room there."
I was stunned.
"Do not leave your mouth hanging open, young lady."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Baldwin. I'm just surprised."
"Why? You can read. You are an intelligent girl. Why shouldn't you go to school?"
Well, I can't disagree. I've always loved school, but it's a little elementary for me, my dear Baldwin. I do have advanced degrees.
"You are always so generous, Mr. Baldwin. I wish I deserved it."
"I will leave you with an allowance, and I will send more regularly."
I was speechless. This sort of kindness always made me feel uncomfortable, and I couldn't understand why anyone would want to dote on me.
"Why are you so kind to me, Mr. Baldwin?" I asked quietly.
He smiled and placed his napkin on the table.
"Come, I want to make a stop first."
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The stop, it turned out, was for me. Mr. Baldwin took me to a bookstore on our way to the school and told me to pick out anything I wanted. Of course, the books I really wanted to read weren't out yet. But I found a few.
"This may be the most generous thing you've done for me yet," I smiled.
"I'm glad you're happy," he he said with a chuckle. "We are near the school, so you can always come back here."
"Oh, I will."
I wondered about the possibility of somehow getting home and bringing some mint condition first editions with me.
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He wasn't wrong; the school was very close. His cousin, much nicer to look at and not a slaver, welcomed us in. She was warm and comforting, not unlike Mr. Baldwin. He left as night fell.
She showed me to my room, which I would share with another girl, Anne. Anne was quiet and very hard to get to know; she mostly ignored me. When I wasn't in class, I was often upstairs reading, sometimes under my blanket, but only when the sun was bright through the windows.
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I received regular letters from Mr. Baldwin and his wife, which I did not expect. She seemed like a lovely woman to know. I hoped I would get a chance to meet her.
The Baldwins went to Boston for the holidays. Mrs. Baldwin's father was there, and he was ill. I was glad she had a chance to visit with him. I was homesick, too. I wondered how my mother was and if the nursing home was treating her kindly.
I frequently visited the bookstore, found a few others, and scanned newspapers for any bizarre stories that could be like mine. But to no avail. I had no other way to figure out how to get home.
Late in the spring, I received a letter from Mrs. Baldwin inviting me to stay at their home for the summer months.
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