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hyunnieshannie · 11 months

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CLOSE | HJ

Chapter 13: Are you dense? (part 1) Series Master list | General Master list

Word Count: 2.6k

General Warnings: Strong Language, fluff!!

Disclaimer: This is a fanfiction, this does not represent the idols mentioned in any way.

A/N: FAIR WARNING: THIS CHAPTER WAS PROOFREAD BY A TEAM OF : 2 HAN QUOKKAS, 5 JINIRETS, AND 6 LEEBITS AND YOU CAN TELL IT WAS. (Don't ask why I have that many- Mini)

Another ridiculous day has passed, as you waited for the rest of your group to show up at the agreed meeting spot. Only you and Jisung had shown up on time while the others texted their excuses as to why they were late. You were busy staring up at the sky, as Jisung sat on the bench typing away at his laptop; headphones on, bobbing his head to whatever song played in the background.

You leaned over to peep at his laptop to see what he was listening to, noticing that you recognized the program he was using, it was the same Kitty used when making music.

“Are you working on a song?” you asked after poking his arm lightly to get his attention. He took out one headphone to hear you.

“Uh.. yeah.” he says shyly as he scratches the back of his head.

“Is it for a class?”

“No, no. This is a personal project,” he says as he clicks away on his keyboard a few times. “I’m just working on the beat for now, lyrics are a work in progress.” He looks at you quickly and back to his laptop. “Do you.. Do you wanna hear it?”

“I don’t think I’d be much help. I don’t know anything about composing music. Kitty tried to teach me once and it didn’t go over well.” You laugh awkwardly remembering all of the words Kitty threw at you as if you knew what she was talking about.

“It’s ok, it’s just the beat. You.. uh.. You don't have to listen if you don’t want to though…”

You wave your hands frantically, “no, no really. I’d love to listen if you’d like to share.”

Jisung gave you a huge smile and passed you his headphones, playing the beat for you. It was a very calming beat, with a soft piano opening. The song gave off calm, cozy, lofi vibes. There were no lyrics but you felt yourself calming down while listening to the soft beat, lightly bopping your head, a small smile gracing your lips, and your eyes closing to focus on the beat. Jisung was watching you very carefully, after all this was the song he was writing because of you; well it started off for himself, but quickly it became your song. He watched the small bobbing of your head, your brows knitting together, and the smile growing on your lips as you listened to it. He felt relieved that you were reacting so well to his song.

“Will you add lyrics to it?”

He quickly looks away from you, and you notice the slight blush to his cheeks. “I- I have a few I just don’t know where all of it is gonna fit in you know?”

“Can I see-” Jisung’s eyes bug out of his head as he scratches the back of his head again, frantically looking anywhere but at you. “-or not it's up to you!” You try to save the conversation, obviously you just made an error in asking.

“No!” he yells and you immediately get disappointed. “No, I mean yes; uh- I-'' Jisung keeps making weird hand gestures as if he's trying to pick the correct words out of thin air. “Yeah you can see them sorry, I usually don’t show people but feedback is always good!” He quickly pulls a beaten up notebook out of his backpack and opens it to a page with scribbled lyrics and doodles scattered across the page. He hands you the book shyly, you carefully take it in your hands and examine the lyrics he wrote.

Will you tell me about yourself?

You, who was seen from afar

I don't want to just watch without doing anything

Yeah, just tell me about you

There, far away, I can see you walking

I come to you without fear and ask about yourself

In the quiet tunnel, you with the sports car, the noisy engine blares

The walls that were colored are all black

They were colored by you, I'm surprised by the feelings felt for the first time

Name, age where do you live

Too many questions, I know i'm being rude

I'll cross the line just a little, as I finally

Avoided this road, I was walking on unsteadily

I'll look at you and rest for bit, I know I'm putting you out by doing this when it's our first meeting

I'm rambling noisily, as it's my first time having these emotions too, so I'm still

You look up at him after you read the words and give him a huge smile. “These are really nice Jisung!”

“Oh, thank you- I uh, kind of just write how I feel and hope for the best.” Jisung smiles, a blush dusting over his cheeks, and rubbing at the back of his neck, unable to make eye contact with you.

“Well, whoever this lucky person is, I’m sure they’re going to love it Jisung, honestly this is really good so far!” You say as you give him a genuine smile. You’re not gonna lie to yourself, you wish someone wrote things like that about you. His words were so sweet and you could feel the sincerity in it. Jisung is lowkey freaking out next to you, incredibly flustered by your praise.

“Yeah she’s uh- well.” You look up at him as he begins his sentence, he quickly looks away from you and at his feet. “I’m still getting used to things, who knows maybe she’ll hate it or maybe she won’t, maybe I won’t even show her.” You lean back on your palms, looking back up at the sky; carefully choosing your next words. Jisung couldn’t help but admire the way you looked, the sun beaming down on you, the wind gently moving your hair. Your eyes wide as you stared up at the clouds that gently rolled by.

“I think, if you choose to show her; it would be nice. I mean what girl doesn’t want an entire song written for them?” You giggle, “I don’t think she’ll hate it. The lyrics are coming along beautifully, and if she does for some reason react badly, well she wasn’t worth it and clearly doesn’t have taste.” Jisungs jaw basically drops to the floor, quickly turning his head away from you to quietly scream. He tries to compose himself as best as he can before faking a coughing fit.

“If someone were to uh-” Jisung thinks of his next words very carefully. “If someone were to do this for you, how would you feel? Wouldn’t you think it’s like.. Too much or something?” You look up to the sky as you carefully think about your answer.

“I think- I think I'd be a little surprised at first. I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever had a song written about or for me before-” You look down and fiddle with your fingers. “But I don’t think I’d react badly about it, it’s a sweet gesture, and if the song is as good as yours I’d be dumb not to appreciate it, you know?” You look at Jisung and notice the hint of surprise on his face, and you quickly cover yourself up to try and make light of your seriousness. “Unless the guy is a total tool. Now that would be unfortunate.”

“What if-” Jisung started, but he was immediately cut off by Hyunjin sneaking up behind him, yelling in order to scare him.

“MY FUCKING STARS HOW ARE YOU TODAY?” Hyunjin yells from behind you both, making both you and Jisung startle in your seats on the bench.

“Do you ever- not yell?” Mini groans as she finally makes her way up beside him, “I have a fucking migraine please for the love of god; shut the fuck up.”

“So grumpy,” Hyunjin mumbles, pouting from Mini yelling at him.

“You see this face I’m making right now? This will always be your sign, to shut the fuck up.”

“Never fuck with Mini when she has a migraine. It doesn’t end pretty for anyone.” You say as you shiver at the very unpleasant memory of the attack she launched on you after accidentally setting her off.

“Now, where the fuck are the others.” Mini groans, placing her camera down on the bench; as she begins to lay on the grass.

“On their way now, we can set up-” Hyunjin starts, but Mini gives him a look of disgust, “I can set up, so that we’re ready for this next scene.”

“Which scene are we doing again?” You ask and immediately regret the question when Mini shoots daggers at you from her spot on the grass. She’s definitely gonna beat your ass later for not remembering what scene you were shooting.

“The confession scene, falling into the kiss, and then into our villain trying to ruin things.” Hyunjin says as he begins prepping the equipment. The rest of your friends start arriving one by one. Something finally clicks in Jisung’s head and his cheeks immediately turn bright red. I HAVE TO KISS HER TODAY?! He thought to himself. He starts trying to busy himself with things around him, his nerves getting the better of him.

“You okay there HanJi?” Minho laughs, as he witnesses Jisung’s expression, “Don’t tell me our little Y/N is going to pop your first kiss cherry today!”

“She’s not popping my- what?” Jisung pauses, staring at Minho.

“So why do you look like you’ve got the ultimate sunburn on that pretty little face of yours huh?” Minho asks, poking one of Jisung’s cheeks.

“Just got a strange text that's all..” Jisung says, obviously trying to cover up his small freak out.

“Was it spicy? If it was, I want all the details.” You turn around and smack Minho in the shoulder. “What!? Maybe he’s got a secret girlfriend or something! I want to know!”

“Can we just get this the fuck over with? I want to go home.” Mini grumbles from the ground.

“Who the fuck pissed in her cornflakes this morning?” Kitty says as she makes her way over to Mini to help her up from the grass. You all turn around quickly and stare at Seungmin.

“I didn’t do shit-” Seungmin holds his hands up in defence. You all continue to look at him and he drops his hands and rolls his eyes. “Okay, whatever, we just had one extra drink last night it wasn’t even that bad-”

“She doesn’t get hangovers what the fuck did you do to her?!” Kitty yells, patting Mini on the head and running her fingers through her hair.

“What didn’t he do is the better question to be honest-” Hyunjin shudders as shakes the images out of his brain.

“Shut your mouths unless you all want to die.” Mini grumbles, but looks at Kitty, “except you, you’re safe baybee.” Kitty smugly smiles at Seungmin and sticks her tongue out at him, as she continues to pet Mini. “Everyone to your fucking spots.” Mini goes and grabs her camera, getting her setup all together.

“Ok let’s start from the confession-” Hyunjin states, grabbing his script from his bag.

~~~~

After a few rounds of rehearsals, and some errors in filming, everyone decides to try one last time after getting a few good shots. Standing in front of Jisung was sending your nerves into a panicked shock. The two of you were staring at each other as you tried to remember exactly what your lines were.

“I can’t do this-” you recite the lines to Jisung, looking at the ground as you feel a slight tinge of pain in your chest.

“Why can’t you,” Jisung says, placing his finger under your chin and lifting your head. “You can’t even look me in the eye, what did I do wrong?!”

“Why did you even call me out here, Peter?” You pull your head away from his fingers, pulling back from him, looking back down at the ground to compose yourself. “I want nothing to do with you.”

“You know that’s not true.” Jisung says softly, stepping closer to you. “Look at me, and tell me that’s the truth. Tell me and I’ll go.” is this what a confession would actually feel like?

“I can’t…”

“Can’t what. Look at me, or lie to me.” Jisung says, his voice getting quiet as he finishes the line.

“God you guys wrote this so dramatically…” Changbin whispers to the English majors.

“Stop hiding from me.” Jisung sighs, running his hands through his hair, exasperated. “You can’t just keep running away from me.”

“Why not.” You finally look up at him. This whole scene feels so real, you can't help but admire the man in front of you. He’s kinda pretty, and soft looking… and he smells so fucking good. Focus Y/N. You knit your brows together, fisting your hands at your side. “If you called me out here, to ask stupid questions I'm leaving-” You turn to walk away before Jisung grabs your wrist to stop you in your tracks.

“I called you out here, to figure out what you want from me. Why do you keep hiding from me, running from me! Why do you always leave just when I start thinking we’re getting closer?” Jisung is getting frustrated, his heart not understanding the situation. “Why? Why do you keep distancing yourself from me?” He drops your wrist in defeat. “I called you out here to figure out if you felt the same way, don't you get that!?” Jisung yells.

“W-what” you stutter. It was your line, but you reacted so out of instinct because it felt so… real.

“I need to know.” Jisung says softly, grabbing your hand so gently. “If you feel the same way. Please..” He almost begs.

“I don’t know…how I feel…” You struggle to find the words. Mini looks between Hyunjin, Kitty, Jeongin, and Seungmin. This was not in the script. “I’m so confused…” They let the cameras roll to see what the outcome will be. Jisung looks at you confused but since no one says anything he tries to continue.

“Fine.” Jisung says and grabs you, pulling you close to his chest. “How do you feel about this then?” He asks gently. He places a finger under your chin again and tilts your head up to his, your lips a breaths distance away from one another. He leans in to close the distance and you melt in his hold. You couldn’t help but feel weak at the knees because of him, the secure hold he had around your waist, the gentle hold on your chin, the soft caress of his lips against yours. You wrap your hands around his neck and pull him in closer.

“Perfect!” Hyunjin yells from behind the camera. Neither you or Jisung really register Hyunjins call of your names at first, too lost in each other's warmth, but once it registers, you both push away from each other, blushing like crazy, your ears and his cheeks bright red.

“Does art imitate life… or does life imitate art…” Mini whispers to Hyunjin.

“What?” Hyunjin looks at her confused.

“Are you dense? They like each other.” Mini whispers at him and slaps his arm.

“Seriously, I told you he was dumb.” Seungmin mumbles to Mini.

“Fuck you.” Hyunjin seethes to Seungmin.

“Not your job, but thanks for the offer!” Seungmin winks at Hyunjin.

“I hate both of you.” Mini rolls her eyes.

“Not true, you only PARTIALLY hate me.” Seungmin teases, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

“What even makes you think that anyway?” Felix asks from the side of the group.

“Look at them?!” Mini whisper-yells, as she points at you and Jisung are being awkward near each other.

“Nah.” Chan questions. “Anyone would be a mess if they had to kiss like that- right?” Kitty rolls her eyes at him.

“God you’re also dense.” Kitty says. “Men.” Mini nods in agreement.

TAGS @https-skzology @chanlixiiee @channiesbub @silentcry01 @iadorethemskz @heavensheadbitch @maeleelee @kubuwu @tfshouldidohere @jisungsbff01@applepie-macaroon @amara-mars ♡ Thank you for letting us tag you

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boydepartment · 1 year

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WAHHHHHHHH Sorry for worrying you, I'm doing very well, I wrote this message in the afternoon and was about to edit and send it. No transitions today because my ideas are very scattered and chaotic.

Today's writing song is coming of age by mxmtoon. I listened to her and Beach Bunny's music before quarantine, so it always takes me back and you can listen while reading. =)

I hope you have had fun on your road trip. From your pictures of everything, it seems like quite a adventure. As a side note, the outfits on your skzoo are super cute, did you make them yourself?

I spent some time thinking about your advice. I wish I could say that I've completely gotten over it, but progress has been like 3 steps forward, 2 steps back, 20 steps left, 50 steps right, jump 20x, get lost, start to cry, 5 steps forward. Everytime I think I've peaked, there's a another layer to work through. It's been really frustrating, but also rewarding. It's a reminder that I have a lot more room to grow and that's okay. Also, it takes so much more energy to be upset with where I am. I think I need to be more conscious of my own achievements and be okay with my own progress.

I'd like to think I'm a pretty introspective person, but I think everyone needs reminders sometimes, so thanks for being that person. I wish I could eat everyone's compliments and have them be a part of me when I can't see the good in myself. I'm trying to be more grateful for the things I do have, so for the next paragraph, you better internalize my compliments and take my burning heart on a stick or else I'll get really mad. >=( (I'm joking of course)

I think your comment about me being a sunshine was one of the nicest things someone has ever said to me. I hope to make everyone's day just a little better through these messages, but I think a lot of people can say the same about you. Although you say that you wish to be a little more positive, your advice has been and is very helpful, nonjudgmental, and realistic. Thanks for being such a great listener/reader? I like how your responses are always so reflective and introspective. Also, I can tell that your fics are based on your personal experiences based on your word choice, so I want to say that even if I can't completely understand, I will try my best be a listening ear. I think if we actually met irl, I would be a little less of a nervous wreck, maybe. It's super special the kind of friendship/pen-pal ship? we have, considering that our paths wouldn't have intersected otherwise. I'm glad you exist. <3

Okay, that's enough cheese for one day. I'm already embarrassed to admit that I write anything as sheep anon, so I'm going to crawl under a rock until your response. New messages coming soon, may or may not be as mushy as this one, depends on how I'm feeling, have a nice day everyone and stay safe. <3

-🐑

p.s. If you had a fan club, what would you name your fans? I think we need a name at this point, maybe something related to flowers or buds?

It’s okay sheepie!!! It’s no worries I promise :) I just wanted to make sure you were well ❤️

I absolutely loved mxmtoon and beach bunny. Beach bunny opened up for a punk show I went to a few years ago and it was GENUINELY so fun. Mxmtoon will always have a special place in my heart

My road trip is really well!!! I got to see my boys again and it meant the world to me. I would do anything to see them again and again. And hopefully I’ll be able to!!! As for my little jiniret!!! The red lights outfit was hand made!! His little button up tho that was from Disneyland and the hoodie he came with :) my other Amazon bought SKZOOs do have handmade clothing though :)

Sheepie i promise you that going back and forth is totally normal. The fact that you recognize it and are trying to focus on the positives really show how much you’ve grown I can promise you that. You have accomplished a lot even if it doesn’t seem like it. I’m so immensely proud of you. I will remind you whenever I can of this

I really do wish to be more positive and I try to especially regarding what has happened to me in the past. I will always try to not be judgey because we never know what the other person is struggling with.

My fanfics are definitely based on my mental and own life experiences. Pizza Parlor was a way to heal how I wrote fanfics when I was 14. It was just fun for me and a way to let all my daydreams out

I’m sorry. I’m late. Was always meant to be way more grown up. Just like how I wrote the reader, I’ve always wanted to run away ever since I graduated highschool. Just like the reader she landed herself in a bad relationship with bad people surrounding her to the point of putting herself and anyone who lived with her in danger. Unfortunately writing that was me trying my absolute hardest to cope with that actually happening to me. The only way I felt safe alone at night was getting lost in daydreams where I did run away to a small town. Some JayJay lore here, small TW

I also wrote that fanfic in a way where the two main characters love was unconditional. Of course some things had to added for plot to keep it running and not boring. However, the beginnings of their relationship was always something I’ve wanted. Even after my sophomore year to senior year on and off romantic relationship I never got anything close to that. I DIDNT get that cute romance, I never got gifts that actually were meaningful. I was 16 and naive, I was mentally tortured and physically beat. I’m sorry, I’m late, means so much to me because I could actually write something that I’ve always wanted to experience. It helped me cope with the fact that I’ve never gotten that romantic unconditional love.

My past is what also ties me into who I bias, not to crowbar Hyunjin into here but I really started biasing him because of what’s happened to me in my past. The way he describes love and how it should be eternal and forever really gives me hope that I will get that fairytale ending for myself. It’s why I’ll still be kind to everyone I meet and wear my heart on my sleeve even after the fact.

I think me and you could totally have a nice chat over tea or coffee or whatever your preference is!!!! We could probably go on for hours!!! If you ever want to you know where to find my instagram if you’d ever want to call or anything :) as long as you’re comfortable!! I would never want to pressure you into anything!

I’m very happy our paths crossed sheepie!!! I look forward to your messages!! Stay safe until then sheepie 🤍

I think if I had a fan base would be named doves!!! Even though I have a phobia of birds the dove represents the same thing as white roses. And I think the nickname dove is oh so sweet 🤍

Ps sheepie

I’m in college rn and every advisor I’ve had has ignore my emails about my major change (I’m taking journalism classes but signed up as a theatre major) do you have any advice? I’m getting a tincy stressed

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