#Idk if I'm really looking forward to my bday or not | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gloryride · 4 months

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WIP WHENEVER

I was tagged by @alphanight-vp @chevvy-yates @just-a-cybercroissant @rosapexa thank youuuuuu !

I have things but not visuals, just ideas and talking.

>> VP

I have anything to show, the last big project was the CP Birthday and took all my energy. I cleaned up my vp idea and i have ... 72 lines XD If you want an idea (sorry it's in french) :

>> WRITING

I'm in mood for writing, but it's chaotic, i have many MANY drafts on my phone and pc with some paragraph, just idea, a dialog, nothing full. But i can show you one of them

So, just another snippet of Virgile/Eve fic, i really need to finish this chapter, but translation takes lot of time (i can't full write in english)

"You never asked me what's my job." He coughed several times under the glare of the other disdainful customers before catching his breath, avoiding her look. This must have made him suspicious in the eyes of the woman in front of him; he always looked like a child caught at fault when confronted with moments like this. Virgile remained silent and Evelyn resumed, resting her elbows on the table, not giving up. "Because you're not interested? Or you know and you don't want to talk about it?" More than red, he was turning crimson. His gaze was on the restaurant's décor, the sleek modern style, the chrome accents to underline the white walls where hideous gaudy pictures were hung to make it look like art … everywhere but on her. Unable to escape, trapped by his chair and his lunch, he finally took a breath, and whispered, "I already know". She didn't seem offended, quite the opposite. "Thanks to NetWatch or…?" He cut her off with a firm gesture, finally turning his gaze towards her. "I would never use my job to get information on someone. We're adults, we can… talk." He sighed, his leg trembling and his hands twisting as if he were telling a shameful secret. "Because I've been to Clouds before and met you there." He thought he'd never have this conversation, Evelyn talked little about her private life and he'd hoped she'd continue to do so without having to justify anything. His heart raced and his hand caressing the back of his neck betrayed his nervousness. For her part, she continued to smile, almost amused, then took on an air of conspiracy as she moved a little further forward. "And you're ashamed of something?" Her steady voice sought information, perhaps she was imagining what they might have done. Virgile had difficulty swallowing before answering, his gaze shifting. "I don't know," he replied. "Is it wrong to take advantage of someone's unconsciousness to get rid of problems?" "By get rid of your problems, do you mean … sex?" Virgile's face froze and he opened his eyes wide. With a sudden movement, he almost spilt his drink. "What? No! No ! " He saw her laugh as he tried to calm down. "I never wanted to… with a doll."

>> MODS

I have ... 5 XL mods waiting to finish XD 2 old mods i port in XL, 2 clothes and 1 thing. I don't like to talk more about it bc they're not finish, not much pics And now i'm done with npv commissions until february, i can mod for myself. So i need to :

update NPVanessa (new tattoos, new clothes, new hair)

update NPV Oscar (new clothes - young version)

redo NPVirgile (with his style i created for him)

redo NPV Isao (i borked him and now he has a wardrobe)

redo NPValentin (new body with Gymfiend, new clothes)

finish NPV Mieko

Would like to finish Enzo's scars on his hands too, and so update his npv too. I also want to finish my custom npcs for Eve for example (maybe release it ? idk) i want to learn to do props, i failed for CP bday, i found a plan B I want to learn to port clothes, i bought some because they were on sale but that's it I want to learn custom poses bc i have ... 3 sets in mind ! ... i will never have time until february XD

tagging (no pressure of course !) : @breezypunk @medtech-mara @cybervesna @nananarc @mhbcaps and anyone who wants !

#wip wednesday #wip whenever #many things but nothing finish ><

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silvertsundere · 4 months

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Silver Talks AniManga (07/01/24)

I watched 7 eps of stuff today. SEVEN EPISODES. that's more in one day than I was watching the entire week last season, that's crazy to me. it feels like the good ol golden days of watching seasonal stuff.

anyway it feels good, like I'm back in better, simpler times. it was fun. tho I will certainly be trying to watch these the day they air instead of all in the same day like this cause that's not a sustainable way to do it, especially when jump returns on sundays later this month

oh and there's also a couple more shows coming next week that didn't premiere this one so even more for the pile, it's wild to see myself watching so much stuff again but it really is just THAT stacked of a season. lots of adaptations of stuff I've known/been wanting to check for YEARS and sequels as well. along with a couple promising looking originals like bones' Metallic Rouge

oh also also, this week was very weird to see outside of that too cause jump chaps were on friday instead of the usual sunday which threw my whole routine out of whack but ANYWAY

green - new series/new to me

Anime

Gushing over Magical Girls Ep1

I've known about this manga since it came out, *checks notes*, 5 years ago??? (on my bday no less so that's a funny coincidence), but I just never got around to reading it. if you didn't know I'm a big fan of mahou shoujo (precure being my favourite by a long shot). I'm not too sure about this series but I'll give it the good ol 3 episode try, and see if it respects the genre enough for me to keep watching or nah. the first ep was promising tho so here's hoping. if I like it enough I'll prob end up reading it too

Chained Soldier Ep1

I've known about this manga since it came out, *checks notes*, 5 years ago. wait why does that sound familiar? anyway I've known about it and I've wanted to read it for a long time but have never gotten around to it. anyway, idk if it was my fault for expecting too much but the episode was pretty disappointing. the animation was bare minimum and even the art felt weird, like there was some weird filter over it, especially during the CG bits. seeing the girls animated and voiced by such a good cast is good tho. only 12 episodes so I'll most likely keep up with it til the end and end up reading the manga at some point this year

Dungeon Meshi Ep1

dunme is one of those manga I never got around to reading despite knowing I'd love it if I did, and then it ended up ending some months ago. I still want to go back and read it tho cause I know it's right up my alley. for now however we have the anime. when it was originally previewed at ax? or wherever it was there was a guy that made an article complaining about how it didn't feel like a trigger show and they were disappointing, but... that's a good thing? at the end of the day it ISN'T a trigger show so it shouldn't feel like one. it's an adaptation and a damn good one at that too. plus it's not like it's completely devoid of trigger's dna. that bit with marcille where it did a rough crop of her face and completely stopped all sounds was hilarious. I'll be looking forward to this every week and to eventually getting around to reading it as well. and also to whatever kui works on next

Sasaki and Peeps Ep1

how I ended up watching this show is p funny it wasn't on my radar at all, tho I knew it existed and all that but just wasn't that interested in watching cause "oh it's just another isekai" then some weeks ago CR posted a video of yuuki aoi promoting it and talking about the premise and I was like "🤔hm maybe it's not what I expect...but no I shouldn't watch it I'm already watching a ton this season and I'm not gonna watch a show just for my queen.." then the other day I heard about that sasaki bit in the credits, and that almost convinced me to watch it after all cause it was so funny but I stayed strong. the straw that broke the camel's back was a clip of the scene leading up to the screenshot below and the voice yuuki is using for the bird, coupled with sugita's great peformance if I had seen the ep was double lenght that prob woulda put me off from watching it but I only realized it like halfway through it so gg I'm... pleasantly surprised really. it wasn't just another isekai, that's just a part of the plot, and him traveling between both worlds and doing trading and stuff reminded me of maoyuu. I'll certainly be keeping up with it

Mashle S2 Ep1

not much to say about this really, just more of the same. from the preview for it, it seems this season will have a lot more sakuga than s1 so I look forward to those little crumbs

Blue Exorcist: Izumo Arc Ep1

ah yes good ol exorcist, how long as it been? let's see... SEVEN YEARS HUH??? time really is fucked up and unforgiving huh... not much to say about this one either. just the continuation of the story, with the same quality you'd come to expect. funny enough, the last time I read the manga was right at the end of this arc, so the anime should be ending where I last read. I really need to get back to reading it again since it moving towards the ending now that its on it's final battles

Tales of Wedding Rings Ep1

hey I've known about this manga for years but just n- wait a minute haven't I said that already? anyway I do think it's funny that both this and mato seihei (chained soldier) ended up getting adaptations in the same season when they have similar concepts. funny how the universe works out sometimes. I think this was a lot better looking than soldier tho, but we'll see if that stays true for the rest of the season. and also just like the other series I said the same thing from the start of this, I really should read the manga, hopefully this year I'll get around to it oh also, really looking forward to when the cat girl shows up she's so unbearably good, I NEED her

Frieren Ep17

good ep, like usual, tho I thought they'd get to the exam and introduce a billion charas in the 2nd half of the episode. that'll be next time tho, looking forward to it. also the new op is nice tho I don't think it's as good as the first one, would have to see the lyrics for it

Manga

Kaiju 8: B-Side Ch1

hoshina is my favourite from kaiju so him getting his own spinoff is very fun. apparently it's based on a LN which was only 1 vol so it won't too long. I'll appreciate it while it's around tho. worth to note that the art is by the super smartphone author so it'll also be nice to see how much they've improved since that series got axed

#silver talks animanga

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boxwinebaddie · 10 months

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First of all, Huge Fan of your Fic i've been reading it since you posted Chapter One in March or April? I'm sorry if this a weird or forward thing to ask, but do you know if there will be smut in Peppermint? I only ask because I noticed it has the content warning but Pep is rated Mature but not Explicit? Also because IMO I think you wld be good at writing it jajaja. But again, sorry if this is strange! Keep up the good work, I am really looking forward to reading Chapter 12!

omg hello hello friend! also i just checked and i think...april? *stan vc* wowza! i cant believe e've been live for three months there should be some special occasion haha if we hit four or five maybe ( i hope i finish by then jesus ) maybe ill write a special chapter!

not forward or weird at all! also that is very sweet you think i would be good at writing it because i feel like i would not ashdlksa it's so humiliating but even like writing all the makeout scenes i do behind my hands cringing shdlhsd i just feel awkward as hell writing anything even remotely steamy and everytime i put something out like that i am like is this too much or too little or too cringe or too spicy i literally have no clue ahaha

i tagged pep as mature because there are definitely mature themes like so much of kenny and bebes dialogue is pure FILTH! there are totally mildly sexual implied content ( ie. oh my god there was definitely some very unholy things happening between stan and gary that summer my goodness ) sort of leading to situations sometimes...also the boys are RAUNCHY like my word my goodness! like some of their inner monologue is like...maximum security horny jail i am clutching my pearls u dirty nasty boys

but as far as sexy sexy times go...probably not in pep...written. not that intimate stuff like that is cheap or anything, it's very valid and wonderful and an experience that means a lot of things to different people, but i just ALREADY WRITE SO MUCH and i feel like it might take away from the flow and vibe of the story which explores obviously sexual attraction and tension, but really is more focused on their personal relationship, their romantic feelings, even their platonic stuff, stuff with their families and friends...idk it wouldn't feel right to me.

i have also sakhdlkahd never written smut actually i am a little scared to try. if i did it would DEF be like very metaphor heavy and like prosey and not a lot of bowchikabowwow spicy extreme detailed action haha but if enough people were interested i might write a little embarrassing side fic with stuff in it ( is that the 5 month anniversary fic idk yikes )...i also specifically defied the laws of nature and time to make stan and kyle both 18 because it actually made me feel so icky nasty gross to have them lean in any sexual direction as minors like hell no brother! so idk close ur eyes...in m.m. if kyles bday comes up idc hes turning eighteen again i dont give a fuck close ur eyes its fine

BUT BOY OH BOY...i DOOOOOO have headcannons ;) so if u want them i can stick them under a readmore or u can dm me idk im so embarrassed im hiding behind my hands again thank u for this ask friend

ON A NOT SPICY NOTE u can totally send in asks about any kind of headcannons!!!!! i would love to answer any sort of bonus content i just like to interact with yall!!!!! so send anything u want...if its hate tho it better be spelled right or im correcting ur spelling xoxoxo

#im so embarrassing this was so embarrassing of me #but yeah i hope that helps clear that up sahdd smh #totally let me know how u feel i am crying

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jakeperalta · 11 months

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Hi!I need your opinion on the vault tracks for Speak Now TV!!! I somehow guessed a while ago that there would be collabs with Hayley Williams and I even guessed it would be on Castles Crumbling which is a song we've known about for a while. It really reminds me of their song Brick by Boring Brick so I hope it's similar to that. Or I always thought it could be the heartbroken version of Love Story..so maybe it will be slow and more similar to the Nothing New collab which I would also love!!! I guessed Fall Out Boy cuz she said they were a heavy influence on her at that time and she even sang Sugar we're going Down on the Speak Now tour..so my emo heart is so happy even though I know other people didn't want collabs. Also they both had really great albums out this year and I love them so much! Okay so I was reading out the track names with my sister and trying to pick them which ones we'd like for fun..then I saw When Falls in Love and freaked out. This confused my sister..who thought it would be like a Folklore old fashioned love song like Pride and Prejudice or something like Betty I guess . Am I fucking crazy for thinking this could be about Emma and Andrew??? We know they went to the Speak Now tour together and besties at the time!!! This apparently didn't even cross my sister's mind..lol so maybe it's just me. Like..she didn't even think I would wanna pick that one haha and the funny thing is..even if it didn't say the name Emma..she isn't a romantic at all. The weird thing is..I somehow maybe manifested this a while ago..thinking what Taylor thought of the relationship at the time..and if she wrote a song about it and I imagined it as a slow piano love song so i'm hoping for that! I could be wrong though..lol like what if it's nothing like that? Cuz idk if she would release it if it was about that. I'm also interested in I Can See You...and also all of them! I was hoping maybe she might post this soon for my bday next week and now we still have to wait a month. Apparently this got leaked though and we couldn't have a vault puzzle either. I was also surprised Battle wasn't on there but maybe she wrote it with someone and that's why..cuz that's why she left off Drama Queen..but it was also pretty similar to Better than Revenge. Idk which order to listen in. I was doing in order cuz I don't usually play her old albums in full or anything and it's been a while. But then I thought I could switch up order since we've heard it before..like listen to vault tracks first or one on shuffle..and see if it changes something about the album. So I might listen to vault tracks first for this one! I can't wait to have new favorite songs again..I'm so excited!

hi!! I immediately thought of you with the features and the emma discussion! I remember seeing a rumour that castles crumbling is about her parents getting divorced (which I'd definitely enjoy) but I have no idea if there's any truth to that or if it was just speculation.

obviously the Emma could be a fictional one or just someone we don't know about but it does feel like there's something there that the only Emma we know of her being friends with was Emma Stone! if it is about her and Andrew then that really doesn't help me in trying to get over a couple of celebrities that I don't know and that are long broken up 😭 I'm probably most curious about that one because it's such a specific title, but I'm looking forward to all of them. also it's fun that the genres are quite mysterious since there's presumably a bit of a pop punk vibe, plus it's probably quite country heavy still.

I may get tempted by the vault songs and I do think it's a fun opportunity to sort of experience the album in a different way, but I'll probably end up going for mine first anyway. it's exciting having new songs to look forward to and I love the whole original album so I'm sure I'll love this!

#answered #anonymous #taylor swift

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pig-wings · 2 years

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I went home this weekend for what was supposed to be my mom's bday party. That got canceled because of covid, which was a bummer. There was a ton of lead-up to this weekend for me because I had been pretty firm that coming home would be difficult given what I have going on at work, but my dad and sister really wanted me there, so my dad ended up getting me plane tickets. Frustrating, but my therapist and I worked together to make a plan for enforcing these boundaries in the future.

Pretty much the only thing anyone in my family wants to talk to me about is the wedding, which is understandable to a certain degree. Wedding planning really stresses me out. I don't enjoy it. I don't really care about most of it. It's a lot of money. It's a lot of time. And it makes me feel bad that this is seemingly the only thing people can talk to me about, especially when work is exciting and challenging and I'm going through a lot of changes. My sister wanted to know about colors, decor, the registry, dresses etc--all things I don't know because I haven't even sent the deposit. I eventually asked if we could put a stop to wedding talk. That just made her mad, because it's just "what I have going on in my life right now". Okay.

So the shindig gets canceled and I need a place to stay because obviously I can't stay with my parents since my dad has covid. Fiance gets me a hotel room because I said I'd rather eat the cost than stay with my sister. A little selfish and immature, maybe, but I can afford a room for a night and I was having pretty strong emotions about my encounter with her.

My mom calls me this morning and asks why I stayed at a hotel and not with my sister. For some reason, I was honest with her. I've been trying to keep her on a lower info diet and idk why but I felt like this was an opportunity to finally say "Hey, wedding stuff really stresses me out and is not fun for me personally, please find other things to talk to me about and let me start these conversations with you". She goes quiet and just starts saying,"Well, I guess the whole day was a bust then. I guess the whole day was bad." and I have to asked her what she means, say that I'm sorry her surprise party was canceled. Because I am. I wasn't looking forward to coming home but I knew she would be really surprised to see me. So my mom just starts lamenting about how she wishes everyone could get along, how she wishes everyone was happy with each other. I say that I have a right to ask for this boundary with my sister. My mom immediately goes into supportive mode, and then starts asking questions about whether or not I want a normal wedding, then she asks if I'm getting cold feet. Those are both fine questions and I tell her I got the one thing I wanted to make me happy for the wedding, which was my venue of choice (our local zoo). I tell her that I'm not getting cold feet.

It's weird, because she pivoted from trying to be supportive to saying "well, it's your fault people are asking you questions" because we've been engaged a "long time" (we have been engaged 10 months) without a scrap of planning. "You have to throw people a crumb." "Surely Fiance's family is asking a million questions" (they're not). She says once I have a date picked out people will stop. We do have a date. The venue confirmed. The questions are not about the date. They are about what colors everyone will wear, what dinner plates I will put on my registry, etc. This really upsets me, because she has turned a behavior I requested people stop and made it a 'me' problem. She also then says that she understands it's my first instinct to shrink back and not do anything, but that I have to. Ouch! Ouch ouch ouch! I start crying, tell her I need to go get ready to leave, and she launches into "oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset, that came out badly" and I just reiterate that I need to go.

She sends me a text that basically is "sorry if i upset you, i was trying to be supportive, sorry that I upset you." Non apology!! Total non apology! I don't reply because I'm trying not to lose it in airport security. She texts me later with "let us know when you land." and I just text back, "I will, love you." She texts back "I hope so!"

Which is just...genuinely one of the worst things my mom has ever said to me. I'm not sure if she meant "I hope you'll tell me when you land", or "I hope you love me", though I really think it's the second one, and that's like, a whole can of worms I've barely begun to unpack.

It feels like I hit a turning point. I don't know what to do about it. I have been struggling with my mom a lot, and this has been a major subject of therapy lately. She is hyper obsessed with my appearance and weight. She wants me on a certain life path. She does not acknowledge the acommplishments I've made. She does not allow me to be negative. Just two weeks ago, she told me how proud she was of me, because the "old me" would have taken everything going on at work as "bad things". That is not a compliment. I was depressed. I still am depressed. I'm just better at taking care of myself.

I let my leg and armpit hair grow out. I embrace my interests. I sink into work. I am forever grateful to have a partner in life who loves me. He sat me down while I was wallowing and said "Hey, my love for you is unconditional. There are things I like about you. There are things I don't like. It doesn't matter. I love you unconditionally, the good and the bad."

But, still. It's painful. I don't know. Being a daughter is one of the most painful things I can be. I know my mom has suffered a lot. I know she was raised by a mom who sent her to charm school and French lessons. But I'm her hairy, nerdy, bisexual, biologist daughter. Being married is not my life. Being submissive is not my life. I know she paid for horseback riding lessons and I know she went to award ceremonies and sporting events and etc. It still hurts.

#mostly for me #i've been told 26 is a very normal age to have strong feelings about your family #but it doesn't hurt any less #pers

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flowered-mp3 · 1 year

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u guys.... i just cried in my bf's car yesterday (again!) lol pls skip this but i know some of y'all invested and i just need an outlet so......

so like... my bf raised an interesting question weeks ago, essentially asking me "how do u know if ur in love?". i was a little caught off guard at the time, but i answered that i wasn't sure, because i've never been in love. then, i asked him the same question and he thought that he might've loved one of his exes, but he wasn't entirely sure, either.

then, flash forward to last week, when he called me at night (like he normally does). usually he tends to get in his feelings at that time, and started to ask if i thought that our relationship was moving too fast. and to be fair, it was moving fast but i never felt uncomfortable with it? it never felt wrong. we 100% progressed faster than most couples but it never felt wrong. we just did whatever we felt comfortable with. he also told me that this is the fastest that he's ever fallen for someone, and the fastest that he's ever had a gf meet his family/go on staycation/be physical, etc. so, he was afraid that because he's so into me, he would miss any signs of potential points of conflict. and the reason why this was bugging him was because he doesn't want to lose me. there were times in his previous relationships where he ignored those issues because he was so enamoured initially, and obv those relationships ended. the idea of losing me terrifies him, and vice versa for me.

next, i asked what brought this on and he stayed silent for a while before saying that on the last day of our staycation, he wanted to say that he loved me. i was so shook over the phone that i started crying. idk why i just couldn't believe my ears.

but then, he backtracked again because he was also scared because he also wasn't sure if what he was feeling was love - similar to me. he also mentioned that a couple of days before our staycation he statted asking around "how do you know that you're in love" and the only person online was his ex (she wasn't a great gf to him and kinda toxic, they dated 3 to 4 years ago, but she recently reappeared in his life to apologize for what she did to him. honestly? good for her, and i hope that she's happy with her new bf) so that kinda made me :/ but it's ok because it worked out lol just wait. anyways, we essentially talked it out and i said that there's no pressure for him to figure it out. feelings are complicated.

so i also said that i didn't think that i was ready to say that i loved him yet. and he was so sweet about it, saying that he would wait however long that i needed :')

ok so flash forward to the present. i was thinking alot over the past week and i was just kinda realizing that wow. i really like him. but saying that i really like him isn't really cutting it anymore. and when i went to his house for a bday party for his uncle tonight, i kinda just realized that fuck. i fell in love with him, and i didn't even fully recognize it. just looking at him the whole night, seeing how much he cares for his family, how loud his laugh is when someone says something really funny, the way that he holds my hand or traces his fingers on my knee absentmindedly, the way that he remembers that i'm introverted so he always tries to look for signs of my social battery running out. i knew that i would do anything for him, but it didn't really hit me until that moment.

i just realized that i wanted this for our future. for us to have a house together, to invite family over. to host something like this, except that i would be the person scrambling to cook and he would be taking out the alcohol for people to choose from.

so when he was driving me home, all the emotions came rushing through me. we were at a light and he stopped at it, glancing at me (as he usually does). all it took was for me to look at his face for me to be close to tears.

he immediately asked me what was wrong, and i said nothing. it was really late and it's a long drive, so i didn't want to inconvenience him. but then, he turned into a gas station 2 mins after and looked at me like "what's wrong, baby?" and i just. started tearing up. he started to comfort me, thinking that something made me upset or mad but instead, i looked at him, took a few deep breaths to gather the courage, and kissed him. i pulled away just enough to look into his eyes, and i said "i love you, too" with tears in my eyes.

i still remember the way that his eyes widened before i wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him, basically sobbing that i loved him. i was rambling at that point, being like “idk why i’m crying i’m not upset i’m so happy but idk i’m really emotional idk why i’m crying”. and then he asked me how i knew and i said that i didn’t really know, it just felt like something that i wanted to say. i just started spilling my heart out to him, saying that he makes me the happiest girl in the world, and that sometimes i care for him more than i care for myself, and how i want him to succeed in life and that i saw how he treats his family with such care and just???? i could tell that he was tearing up and i could just cry typing this out again.

then, he pulled out his phone and i was confused for a second, but then he started to pull up the convo he had with his ex - i really didn’t have anything to worry about. all he did was ask “how do u know if ur in love” and essentially just talked about me the entire time, saying that how much he liked me and how he didn’t know how to navigate all this because he’s never fallen so fast and hard for someone and that he thinks that i’m his last, that i’m the one. my heart :’)

then, all the details are a blur after that except for some. like i remember i was just rambling about my feelings and crying so i just pressed my forehead against his and tried to take a breath. but then, he said that he loved me too and his voice was cracking. once i heard those words come from him i immediately fell apart. he tucked his head into my neck and we hugged and cried. he pulled away just to look at me, and said that i was smart and beautiful and caring, and he loves that i love my family, that we laugh at the same stupid shit and that he imagines a future with us.

then, everything just made sense. all the times where he would hug me and pull away to look at me in the eyes, saying “i really like you.”, or when i said that i’ve always dreamed of having my own reading room with shelves of books that reached the ceiling (i told him this when we weren’t even dating), he remembered that and said “i really have to work harder on this program, this project will be a good asset on my resume when i’m applying for work after graduation. gotta afford a reading room, you know?” :’) or when he asked me how many years of dating would it take for me to think that it’s appropriate to get married, or when he said that he planned to date me for a very long time, or when he said that i make him want to be a better man.

then, in the midst of us crying, i said that i also think that he’s the one and he pulled me in for another kiss, hugged me, and we both just broke down and started to full on sob. i’m talking smiling and laughing and talking while crying, tears streaming down my face, saying that i think that he’s smart and kind and spontaneous and funny, and how i know that he can argue with his dad and sister but i know that he loves them, and that he loves his family very much. and how he’s always so in tune to my feelings that i don’t even notice. we were just sobbing in his car and hugging and kissing and saying that we loved eachother in the middle of a fucking gas station at 10:30 pm.

eventually when we calmed down, he started to drive again and i asked him how he knew. he couldn’t really pinpoint much either but he had some things. he said that he would remember the smallest details about me, like my mannerisms and such. the little random dances that i did when walking to his car when he picks me up, or when i wanted to show him something in the backyard and i reached for his hand. then, he said something so domestic and romantic that i just melted. on the last night of our staycation, he had sudden inspiration for his program and needed to do some quick research before bed. it was pretty late, 1 am it think, so i told him to come to bed soon. so, i decided to read a book until he was ready to sleep.

so, he told me that he looked at me on the bed, book in hand, glasses on, reading light on, and found so much comfort in it. we didn’t exchange any words, but he realized that he wanted that. for us to share a bed in a place that we have together. he wants that comfy future, and he wants it with me and adlkfjd :’)

i also asked how long he was waiting to say it, and he didn’t give me a specific timeline he just said that he watched a podcast where they were like “when is it ok to say i love you” and one girl said 3-4 months lol so he wanted to wait 3-4 months but couldn’t lol. which is ok, because i couldn’t wait 3-4 months either. essentially, we couldn’t really pinpoint how we knew, we just kinda knew?

so, he dropped me off home and said that he loved eachother before leaving. then, when he got home he texted me “have a good night, my love” and i want to SCREAM like THIS MAN IS NOT REAL alsdkfjdlk

anyways this is lovely. my feelings are all aldsfkjasdlkfjdafj but my bf loves me and i love him and there’s a mx comeback tomorrow. overall, it’s looking ok u guys :)

and to think that all this started with my friend forcing me to get a dating app :’)

#delete later

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sparkbeast20 · 2 years

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HemlO ate sparkk hdjdb

I need help ;v;;

Currently they have a rerun for Satan's bday 2020-2021 and idk if i should save my devilpoints or use them for the reruns for the satan bday cards ;_;; i have around 80 above dp ;;

Thank you in advance and also looking forward for your future writings huhu and take care po ueue✨

Well, from what I understand. When you play the Birthday event on their initial run like now for the 22's birthday event it usually need like 23 D-energy (added in the 5 battles when you watch ads) to get all the pieces within the 5 to 6 days of the event.

While the re-runs event is only 4 to 5 days only.

So here's what I can advise.

If you were almost done with last year's event (aka maybe you're close and only needed the last 24 to 32 pieces) Then I suggest finishing that. And when the new event comes. Try to finish that the best you can.

Remember if you really want last year's card. I suggest doing this.

But if you only want the this year's UR card, then I suggest to save up D-energy (23-24) or DP (115) with the 5 battles watch ads use them to get the keys battles to finish the key path because is important to get that on the first day. (Note that you can still get 30 DP as a gift on Satan's Birthday)

Added reminder: I followed this tips from someone on twitter who compute the amount of birthday crack needed with each birthday event. When I did this with Lucifer's Birthday it took me 23 or 24 D-energy and the 5 battle ads to get his card. When I saw them made the same computation with the other Birthday events Here's an example with Mammon's 22's Birthday event.

Hope this helps Kurisu :3

I'm always glad to help and you take care :D

#spark's answer #hi kurisu :3

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infipretty · 2 years

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Hi there, I would like to request a free reading from you. I like your love related PACs, I’ll be looking forward to them! 💗

So my initial is KC and am a libra, his is GM. Unfortunately idk his sign but his bday is in Jan. we know each other from work for about a bit more than a month. At first he’s really quiet, even more introverted than me so I’m scared to talk to him but since we’ve talked everyday at work about other deeper/personal topics I’ve caught feelings. Probably the first guy that I’m this open and honest about myself to. I feel like sometimes his vibe is kind of similar to mine, we bicker and we’re both gonna go to Canada next year.

May I ask about how he sees our relationship and if there’s gonna be something more than just being colleagues/friends(?) between us? Thank you😊

Hey, KC! Welcome to your reading. Thankyou so much, I'm glad you like my pacs <3 I got your other ask as well!

♡ How GM sees his and your relationship?

The High priestess - The Hanged Man - Queen of wands

Damn, Two Major Arcana cards. This person could be somewhat attracted to you or to the overall energy of y'alls current relationship. He might find talking to you to be quite refreshing, I'm hearing. He definitely sees you to be more than a co-worker, perhaps a friend but at the same time, he might not be into you romantically as of yet. It's almost like he wants to take things as they come and not super rush into anything. However, I do see potential in this relationship, there could be something coming up for you guys in a month or two (perhaps, a change in energy of your current relationship status). I would say, give it time. Grow your friendship first.

Please leave a feedback

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miinos · 4 months

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birthday (neg)

this is the sort of thing I don't want to bother friends with but need to talk about with somebody. because this has been eating away at me for nearly a week. so now, I turn to the internet to feign a connection. anyway

my bday is soon (2 days as of posting, yay). I turn 21- the big(?) number. I feel like I aughta be excited and happy, but I'm not. I'm scared as hell.

I feel like I'm cheating somehow. there's so much I haven't done yet, and when I turn 21 I'm gonna be super ill equipped... comparable to cheating your way to a final boss, but since you cheated, you have no technical skill and get demolished in 10 seconds.

I feel like I'm never gonna be big enough for the age I am. it was like this since I turned 17, my brain has been lagging behind and it makes it super hard to just exist as a 18/19/20 year old when I still have the same interests, social skills, and fears of a teenager.

and though one of those things (interests) are fine to have, being horrible in social situations becomes unacceptable around this age. especially considering the fact my career path deals heavily with hospitality and face-to-face interaction.

I've flopped horribly in my attempts to create new and meaningful relationships since I began college, and I fear Im letting my existing ones wilt. everybody else is growing, and I'm not for some reason. even though the age ticks forward, I'm still internally stuck where I am. I love my friends so much. but I wonder how much of a strain it is to be friends with somebody so.... behind.

I don't know. I'm afraid to get a job, I'm afraid to get my license, I'm afraid of everything. I don't have any charisma to fall back on in times like this, so I really do look like the floundering failure that I feel like. I try my best to just get through the day and go on but I can only do that for so long.

idk what to do abt this. I am not looking forward to my birthday. I'll be home, alone. can't go anywhere because I have no car. even though I have a bus pass, I fear going to the mall alone. so I will be trapped with myself and the sick feeling of entering yet another chapter of my life with nothing to show for myself.

whatever. perhaps I'll sand down the dread with a plamo kit. or gaming. this sucks. I wish I were just a little normal when it comes to this stuff

I didn't know where this fit in the friggin essay I've typed up so I'll just say it here....... i know turning 21 makes it legal for me to smoke and drink and stuff. and I should be happy for that alone. but I'm not. on a sliding scale, 1-10... my excitement for this lands at a 2. I'd like to try some fancy cocktails some day. but even then, I think I'd rather a fancy mock instead. I fear this makes me look like some childish prude, especially amongst my friends and family. I know I'm going to get some jokes about it and I'm already itching at the offhand disappointmemt it'll bring. I think this Mixes in with my overarching sickness with feeling like a lonely teen in an adult body.

#this is long

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cythoughtsnmemories · 11 months

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08.06.23

This week work is hectic. And feeling not motivated. Even when I exercise, I don't feel shiok. Maybe I grew fat. See~ food from all over d world given by colleagues.

MIL bought lots of ingredients for hotpot dinner this week, which we celebrate hubby's bday.

So annoyed w hubby's sup who is a workaholic. Yea, serving in military you have to work anytime but I really feel sad for hubby n myself. Boss who call hubby to wait in office, while he drive back to clear work when it already end work timing. Boss who micro managed. Almost working after dinner daily. Where's my time w hubby...didn't even have time to ans my text.

Another colleague of his is thinking to leave the industry and I asked if he is tempted. He is but not sure what else to do and definitely will get a pay cut badly. Of cos I hope hubby stay for the salary but doesn't seem like it's good for his mental wellness and work life balance.

I'm sure we can still survive with his salary being cut half, just have to change our lifestyle right? And probably I can spend more time after work w hubby. I was worried abt the grant for housing if hubby leave the industry now and he laughed at me 😒 he tot I worry abt family planning.

Haiz, nvr even buy plane tix, no honeymoon. Think of what family planning. Nvr even stay tgt. Although I got the urge to have our baby now. Seeing my friends n fam recently gave birth, getting pregnant, bringing their children out to play. Haizzz~ got to save more money first.

Idk if I'm having PMS. Felt so sad to browse my social media. Colleagues and friends are all traveling, planning for holiday. But I got nth to look forward to. Why other family can travel a few times in a year and I can't 🥲 Even Bali or BKK I also happy. The fact that hubby doesn't like travelling much or even get him to take leave, it's a difficult task. I'm so sian already.

Okay lah, he did initiate to get corp pass to go Wild wild wet in Aug. Hmm...maybe d fact I know I can't 100% know we can enjoy cos he will always be in the "might need to work" mode if sth comes up. Makes me felt so lonely 😭 不说了

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givehimthemedicine · 1 year

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( @himynameis4 big analysis part 2 reply in a new post so we don't have to keep reblogging that monstrosity)

Thank you so much for the feedback!! <3 I think I saw you post something along these lines a couple days ago but I averted my eyes lol but now I wanna go back and read all the theories I've been avoiding. great minds!

ok ok I'm following you on the Alice thing but here's where I get stuck - she's already on the floor for at least several seconds before Henry passes out. if his exhaustion was what interrupted the ritual, I would expect to see them both fall at about the same time as his concentration breaks, you know? like how Max falls irl at the same time as mindlair-Henry gets interrupted. and if Alice (even unwittingly?) did the radio and the song is truly playing again at least briefly, why do we only hear it in Victor's memory but not Henry's?

while I hesitate to agree that Alice's jaw was due to a rush job, I can buy that for all the lab kids because you're right he couldn't be leisurely about it and not every kid was isolated for it.

about Henry killing Victor - I never thought he meant to? because he said his plan was to frame him for murder. that was his alternate punishment for Victor's misdeeds because he had no powers to gain by killing him. Henry even has that later line "I tried to join them!" ("join" = recurring code for getting Vecna'd) but his suicide didn't even work (although idk if Henry is in charge of that). Henry's parents were the only two he specifically said he was holding a mirror up to and showing them what terrible people they were, and that may be how he found out how to activate other peoples' powers in the first place, and so with the lab kids and the cursed four he wasn't exactly punishing them for misdeeds he found offensive so much as just exploiting their vulnerability. but IF Henry had Vecna'd Victor then yeah I guess it would just look like the rabbits.

and ok the Will's eye color thing is so weird because I had no idea they really changed until right now (I just looked and by golly.) because I made a post recently pointing out that Jon and Joyce SAID Will's eye color was brown on his missing child poster. but the second they snap open after getting possessed they are hazel.

good question about Henry vs Will responding, it felt like the two were constantly wrestling but as time went on it seemed to be Henry winning more and more. I think this is where birthdaygate comes in because the writers keep setting major events around Will's bday (all of season 4 is set in the week of Will's bday and so are the Creel murders which there is NO reason for, like, pick any random month!) and Will would've for sure told Mike "btw thanks for remembering my birthday asshole" at rinkomania so if Will has forgotten his own bday there's definitely some memory commandeering going on.

to complicate it further, flayed Billy DID resist the MF at least for a minute there with the help of a fond memory, but the lighting in that scene is so nuts I have no idea if his eyes were ever supposed to be different. I need to review all the footage now with the eye thing in mind because wtf.

LOL powerhouse of the cell I'm high fiving your brain. that is so cool actually!!

anyway I appreciate your interest and I look forward to discussing more! (and yes there is supposed to be a part 3 but my brain is a bit fried rn and I shot a hole in my own logic already so that one will be a while longer)

#analysis #st spoilers #st theory #mine

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