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#Isaac Mcadoo
laiqualaurelote · 2 days
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Ok but for the file thing, I'm DYING to know more about "The first thing Isaac chopped in half with his hand was the BELIEVE sign" pls <3
thank you for this ask for the WIP game! this is an extremely cracky AU in which the Richmond Players all start manifesting superpowers.
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The first thing Isaac chopped in half with his hand was the BELIEVE sign. The second was Zoreaux.
To be fair to Isaac, he had failed to chop Jamie in half. (More on this later.) Thus, while Jamie went off to sulk and Zoreaux ambled up to poke at the broken sign saying, “Maybe we can make a new one?” Isaac thought nothing of clapping him on the back and replying, “Sure thing, bruv.”
His hand went through Zoreaux like a hot knife through butter. Zoreaux didn’t exactly fall apart, but he did sort of peel away in two halves like a melted clock in a Dalí painting. He was screaming the whole time. It was the modern art mash-up nobody wanted to see.
Isaac gaped at him in horror. The other players were yelling. “Bro! What did you do!”
“I didn’t – ” began Isaac. 
Zoreaux was still screaming. Weirdly, there was no blood or anything. The edges of him seemed to have been pinched off, like Play-doh.
“We must put him back together!” shouted Dani. He and Richard were on their knees, trying to jam the two halves of Zoreaux back together, only Zoreaux seemed to be drooping and stretching through their fingers. “Mon dieu,” gasped Richard. “He is like cheese! But not good cheese! Like the cheap mozzarella from Pizza Express!”
“Osti de tabarnak de sacrament!” shrieked Zoreaux. “What the fuck is happening!”
“I got the duct tape!” called Will, rushing in. He tossed the roll to Sam, who began trying to tape Zoreaux back together as the rest of the players rushed in to try and help. 
“Wait, wait.” Something was happening as Sam’s hands brushed against the halves of Zoreaux. They seemed to be melding back together. “Sam!” cried Dani. “It’s you! You are healing him!”
“Wow,” said Sam, staring at his hands as they knit Zoreaux back together. “Wait, I need to make sure he’s aligned properly. Can I get more light?”
Everyone was temporarily blinded as Dani burst into a blazing ball of brilliance.
“...okay,” said Sam after some time, “way more light than I needed, but thank you.”
“De nada, Sam!” 
It was at this point that Trent Crimm walked into the room. He stopped and put on his glasses, as if that would clarify the tableau of the AFC Richmond team duct-taping their cloven goalkeeper together while one of their strikers was blazing like a lighthouse beacon and their captain stood in the corner with his hands apologetically raised in the air. 
“What,” said Trent, “the actual fuck?”
*
Trent’s first thought was that he would have to re-pitch his book as a fantasy novel, because nobody was going to take it seriously as non-fiction any more.
“So you’ve got healing hands,” he repeated to Sam.
“I think so?” Sam stared at his hands. “Or maybe I just have the ability to stick things back together. I don’t know. Perhaps I should test it on another injury?”
Across the locker room, O’Brien cleared his throat. “Sam? Can you touch my butt?”
Trent and the players turned to stare at him. 
“Not for gay reasons,” O’Brien clarified. “For science.”
“Both of those are valid,” said Sam. “I would be happy to touch your butt for you.”
Trying to ignore O’Brien casually dropping trou in the corner, Trent removed his spectacles and pinched the bridge of his nose. Dani’s brightness was giving him a migraine. “I’m sorry, bruv,” said Isaac to Zoreaux for the thousandth time.
“It’s okay,” said Zoreaux. They had yet to remove the duct tape, just in case, so he looked like a very poorly-wrapped package. “It didn’t actually hurt. I was just freaking out, bro.”
Babatunde was holding on to Zoreaux’s little finger and walking across the room while Bumbercatch followed him with a measuring tape to see how far the finger could stretch. “Three metres!” yelled Bumbercatch as Richard tried to cross the room to his locker and ended up having to do the limbo under the finger. “Okay, take it around the corner!”
“I just thought,” went on Isaac, “‘cos I touched Jamie, and I didn’t chop him in half…” He trails off.
“What?” said Jamie. And then, as Isaac made a move towards him, “Whoa! Are you fucking mental?”
“Sorry.” Isaac backed off. 
“Could I test a theory?” ventured Trent. “Bearing in mind that I mean this as a purely scientific inquiry.”
“Sure,” said Jamie. “Whatev – oi!” he yelled as Trent stabbed him in the hand with his pen.
The pen snapped in two. Ink splattered over Jamie’s hand, the skin of which remained unbroken. Jamie screwed up his nose. “That’s disgusting, man.”
“I think you’re invulnerable, Jamie,” said Trent.
Jamie considered this. “That mean I can’t be hurt?”
“I believe so, yes. We’ll have to run more tests to be sure.”
“Huh,” said Jamie. “Sick.”
“It worked!” O’Brien yelled from across the room. “It’s a miracle! I’m healed!”
“Okay,” said Trent wearily, “so we’ve got…five superpowers that have manifested so far. Anybody else feel a superpower coming on?”
“I got one,” called out Jan Maas. “I’m always right.”
The locker room erupted in laughter. “Shut the fuck up, Jan Maas,” they chorused.
Jan shrugged. “I’m just saying.”
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drakkywolf · 1 day
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This happened in Richmond! They say in the caption that it happens once a month in the summer. So:
I didn't include Ted because he doesn't have a car but to me, if he did, he would total at least three like this during his stay.
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lilalbatross · 1 year
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skulandcrossbones · 1 year
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gubler-garbage · 1 year
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best looks of the season honestly
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obisamya · 11 months
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Isaac Mcadoo has never taken a penalty in his entire career. This is madness from 18 yards. TED LASSO, 3.12
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bakerolivia · 1 year
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TED LASSO 3.09 | “La Locker Room Aux Folles”
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anya-chalotra · 1 year
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“When I was first coming up through Sunderland, there was an old-timer on the team. Local guy. He and his wife were about to have their first kid, so during training one day, I made a joke that, statistically, I was probably the real dad. And the boys fell about laughing, but he went fսcking nuts. He battered me. Properly. I had a black eye, chipped tooth, three broken ribs. I couldn’t play for six games. He got booted off the team. After that, no club would go near him. Then in the summer, after I could breathe again, I bumped into him in a pub. And I got the chance to say sorry for my stupid fսcking joke. And he got to tell me… he and his wife had lost the baby. A month before all that went down. He hadn’t told anyone. Kept it all inside. Look, I get that some people think if they buy a ticket, they’ve got the right to yell whatever abusive shit they want at footballers. But they’re not just footballers. They’re also people. And none of us know what is going on in each other’s lives.”
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luminarai · 11 months
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And that was the last time anybody on the team attempted polite small talk with Beard.
I’ve been working on this since eurovision and got it done just in time for the s3 finale 🥲 speaking of eurovision, if you look really really closely at the interval show you might just be able peep Beard in the background…
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badbucky · 1 year
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Jamie ‘Lynx Dealer’ Tartt
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implxdingthemirage · 11 months
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Im crying so so so much i love them 😭
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torch-the-throne · 1 year
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The Nando's sponsorship is killing me. It's perfect. Peak British culture representation.
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hacash · 1 year
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no but I actually love the fact that Isaac finds out about Colin while trying to do the right thing in making him delete potential nudes; just as I LOVE the fact that Colin, while being the underdog we’re rooting for, was still totally in the wrong when it comes to sexual pictures of other people. you can cause someone hurt while trying to do the right thing, and you can have harmful takes while being the oppressed party in other ways, and it was all just *chef’s kiss*
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blusandbirds · 11 months
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THEY ALL KEPT A PIECE OF THE SIGN. BEHIND THE PHOTO OF HIS DREAM. IN HIS CAPTAINS ARMBAND. IN HIS SHIN GUARD. IN THE BOOK HE DIDNT READ. SOMEWHERE SAFE. SOMEWHERE SPECIAL. FOR LUCK. FOR LOVE. FOR BELIEVE. AFC RICHMOND YOU BEAUTIFUL BOYS.
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skulandcrossbones · 1 year
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gubler-garbage · 1 year
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BEST FRIENDS
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