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demidemon09 · 6 months

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My opinion on MW3

Alright, so just a heads up, this is gonna have spoilers, so from this point onward if you don't want any, please stop reading! Will tag for #MW3Spoilers if you want to avoid them on my blog.

Also, this is incredibly long and I am so sorry for that, I just have a lot to get off my chest right now and may ramble. I am also on like 2-3 hours of sleep, who knows if I'll have more to say later.

@sofasoap You asked to be pinged, apologies once again if it's insanely long and kinda rambly.

That being said, I've seen a fair bit of this by now, not the full thing and cannot bring myself to play it. This game had amazing potential, with Makarov being back, to having a higher stakes game. It just felt incredibly rushed and Soaps death, made no sense to me.

I have been excited to play the reboot timeline since I heard about it back in 2019, it was the first time in years I even paid attention to CoD, mainly because Soap was back. I thought this time, since we started off so soon in his story, we'd get to see him grow into Captain MacTavish. I even waited to play the other two campaigns based off this one, hoping to not have history repeat itself. Yet, it sadly did in an even worse way.

It honestly seems at this point, we're going to get Captain Garrick instead, which is fine, I'm more than happy to see Gaz survive and become a memorable character, I'm even glad we get to see Ghost survive longer than he did in the previous timeline. However, Soap dying so suddenly, so out of the blue with no reaction or importance, it felt so empty. It felt like pure shock value, just to do it because they needed a death.

Did I think all of them were going to survive? No, I was just hoping to not repeat the OG timeline, or to wait till MW4. As much as I hate to say it, Price or even Gaz dying this time would have been a bit more shocking to me. Gaz has so much history for him, is Prices protege, and would give Price even far more reason to go down the dark path he is headed in. Soap may have been a start, but imagine someone as important to him as Gaz dying? Man would have been livid and may have hunted down Makarov immediately afterwards.

I was also kind of hoping to see Ghost step into the role of Captain or at least leading the TF141 himself. In both timelines he has just been a lieutenant, one timeline he was Soaps second in command, and in this one he is Prices and Soap was his protege. I absolutely loved the amount of work they put into Ghost, I actually care far more for this version of him than I did with the OG Ghost. They made Ghost a teacher, the bond that him and Soap formed was great to see, something we didn't really get much of in the original MW2.

Just like with Gaz, they both got a massive amount of work done towards them, they are now memorable characters for me. Ghost was in the OG games to me, but I actually forgot entirely about Gaz. Now? I'd remember both, be mourning their deaths just like with Soap. I am so happy they rebooted the timelines but they have executed MW3 so poorly, I don't see myself being as interested in further content.

I get deaths are inevitable, I get deaths are going to be a part of the CoD universe. I 100% accept and understand that they will and, sometimes need to, happen. But Soaps death? That should not have happened, not one bit. He aimed for the shoulder on Makarov instead of the neck or head, how in the hell did he get taken down so quickly? No moment for himself, no scene, just Makarov bursting into the area, shooting him in the shoulder/back/wherever (legit can never find the hole for the first shot). And all for Price, a man who has survived both timelines. I would have been more at peace with Prices death than anything else, I do not hate the character, I love all of them very much, but Prices death would have been the perfect catalyst for all of them to go after Makarov. Would have been a nice shove to seeing Gaz work hard to become the best soldier, would have pushed Soap even further after the Graves betrayal.

I know it's a reach at this point, a stupid hope to keep Soap around but I do hope that somehow, they pull something out of their asses to keep Soap alive. It was a stupid, poor, lazy decision to kill Soap off in MW3 like the OG one. I said this before, but I truly was excited to see him grow into the Captain I loved playing as/with in the OG timeline. Neil Ellice absolutely nailed his portrayal of Soap and they could have never found a better actor. I look forward to seeing what happens in Zombies, but that's all I'm looking forward to anymore. Not the campaign, not the multiplayer, none of it. Soap was literally the reason I picked up MW19 and began playing cuz I knew he'd probably be in the second one. Thinking back, Captain MacTavish may very well have been the second game character I got attached to, after Master Chief.

So, yeah, that's kind of my thoughts right now. I am upset, disappointed and hurt over the ending of MW3. He deserved so much better than what he got.

#MW3Spoilers #MW3 #John MacTavish #John Soap MacTavish #Soap

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icharchivist · 8 months

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At he Angry!Anon bc whoa brother. Look a lot of the fans I come across all mutually handshake that he's terrible. That's the attraction! However, even though he is a heinous bastard I'd like to point out a few things. Belial is NOT free of blame here. In Belial's unlock quest there is a scene detailing that Lucilius died with a smile on his face. It's heavily implied he never intended to make it through his own plan & left Belial to carry it on. Those visions of his were driving him mad & if his magnum opus took him out, that's swell actually. The mad adored Lucifer more than he did himself.

Honestly I could go on for hours of what Lucifer & Belial are actually for him but that's conjecture & ain't the point.

What I am pointing to tho is that he died on his own terms more or less & happily so. Belial then later goes on to state to Lucifer's decapitated head that he didn't care if Lucilius wanted to be back or not. & it is implied that what Belial did in 000 was actually against Lucilius' will. Which makes sense as to why he's PISSED.

Belial had Lucifer destroyed, brought Lucilius back from the dead despite dying in a way that was acceptable to him & DID IT IN HIS MOST BELOVED PERSON'S BODY. Like my man, he's awful but sure as fuck he is justified in at least a little of that anger.

Also I'd like to correct on his treatment of his creations. Belial was treated like ass & Sandalphon was treated terribly. Outside of the those two he was actually fairly kind if not a bit distant. You know going half mad kinda puts a kink in things. But yeah in comparison to the Astrals at large & it being a point of contention to the astral council that Lucilius preferred the Primal's free will. Ergo Lucifer & Belial canonically not having limiters.

Like there's a lot that can be put together about Lucilius' character than this egomaniacal madman who's an awful abuser. It just takes looking at the context & using a little critical thinking. Put down the rose colored glasses for Belial &/or Sandalphon.

Also a note on Lucilius being "right." When I see people say he was right it's usually tongue & cheek bc their day is going to shit. I do it too lol. OR if we are getting into the meat of the text. Bahamut is a DICK & things are shaping up to where Danchou likely needs to shank him. Or at least shake the big lizard around a lil.

Even if you hate Lucilius (which is justified), a broken clock is right twice a day.

Sorry for this Icha in your inbox this is 100% aimed at the angry bastard you got earlier. I got a LOT of feelings. Like I love Belial to pieces & he resonates with my BPD & abuse survivor ass but man. Lucilius slander really makes me wanna bite people.

They are both terrible (affectionate) your honor.

aaahh i understand your point on a character analysis standpoint and i get that it's not aimed at me and thank you for that, but please let's not refer to one another as bastard on here okay, i don't want fights to be started in there

the previous anon also already apologized and acknowledged there's others way to read it so it feels a little mean.

And while i personally agree with your reading here, like i said in my answer to the anon, i think it's important to respect the limits some people do have with those characters. And i do actually think it's even more important when this lack of comfort can be so personal.

sorry i have to preface the ask like that. I do think your argument is pretty good though and your own feelings are really good, but please let's be nice and respectful with one another on here, especially when it comes to character readings. (and esp since i'm kind of in the middle of all of this)

That aside and back to the meat of the ask i do really like the character interpretation of Lucilius on here and i do think it's more interesting that he's not a one note villain, and that as such there are more nuances to his character to read on, and therefore more compelling sides to explore. I do personally really like the appreciation for free will angle when it comes to Lucilius, but yeah he's a messy person who's been driven mad and had a hard time reconnecting to his reality and the people in it.

Also i think in general the "they did nothing wrong" points can be a funny element of misinterpretations in fanbases because it's used ironically a LOT but from the outside it can sometimes look like it's said unironically and it ends up creating misinterpretation problems by a long shot ahah. I usually kinda stay in my corner so i don't really have a real overview of how fans behave and i keep it that way mostly, but as someone who also does a lot of "my fav did nothing wrong (lying)", and who's been misinterpreted about it before, this is. quite a thing isn't it.

(but also yes Bahamut is a Dick and i do think Lucilius is right to want to take him down, just like Lu Woh is right to want to take him down. Bahamut causes a little too many problems not to. Lucilius' reasons strikes to me as more personal, but that doesn't mean he's particularly wrong, especially when his issues with Bahamut can be similar to say, the way Lucio himself has been deluding himself into thinking he wasn't mad at Bahamut for those said issues while it was hurting him yaknow?)

anyway yeah they're both terrible and i do really like this reading

and i won't lie i'm a bit reassured that you didn't aim it at me in particular (bc i know i can be mean to Lucilius too so at least i am glad about that)

but yeah just, please let's be nice to one another here, it's fine to have disagreement over character readings and fictions, especially when it can cut deep and personal, but everyone is entitled to their own limits and let's just at least not be too hard about it

#sorry all over the place as an answer goes but aaaaaaaaaa #ichareply #anonymous #ichafantalks gbf #long post for ts

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sana-yan · 1 year

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tmdk's placement on the upcoming card makes me wonder about the trajectory of both factions, especially post sakura genesis

sorry to tmdk enjoyers but i'm here mainly for the soyboy and his adopted kid, even back in old pwnoah days i wasn't a fan of zacku's lads... i liked JONAH and bad dude tito's presentation a year ago but now tmdk struggles as a whole unit to be relevant... but maybe that could change

comparing how zack got a belt and was presented as a winner out of the gate post-szkg disbandment whereas j4g was on the losing end, based on the results of sakura genesis, we can potentially get these logical storylines:

tmdk = big winners: zsj retains, robbie wins belt from hiromu, both of which i think won't happen, so the next one is...

tmdk = middle of the pack: zsj retains, robbie loses. most plausible sequence at the moment to me unless they really want to give shota a push. a 15 min belt would also give him enough experience without exposing his lack of depth reserved for longer matches... but if zsj loses, it's...

tmdk = back to the drawing board & potential faction feud: honestly this is mad that i'm even implying zacku to lose the belt, i know, i dislike it too but keeping him with the tv title feels like a weight burdening him from taking on grander challenges. as the premier holder of the tv title, he's added his star power and legitimacy to it as well as had some good defenses. if i had it my way, i'd like for him to win another belt on top of it, but this is njpw and unless you're a merch mover, it's highly unlikely they'd give us two belt zachariah sabre jr

so either it'll be option 2 or 3, with a feud with lij as robbie aims for hiromu. personally, if zacku retains over shota, i can see naito challenging for the tv title. njpw loves to use lij popularity to legitimize things.

the field is murky because there is no true heel faction outside of h.o.t. getting boos from the crowd. not to say that we need face/heel always, but that in general njpw wants the heels to be booed, so they might try to see which stables can shift alignments (i.e. okada's total bitchface thing he's got going on lately that i adore. very 2017 rainmaker) so as to not steal momentum.

for example, bullet club has to go violent heel so we don't lose finlay's momentum. reverting to silly club would disrupt debbie-chan's next step into becoming The Leader. personally, i've mentioned that i'd like KENTA and elp to make their own offshoot with other members of bc coming in for bosj and leave bc for a tweener faction, and for finlay to bring in the australian tamashii boys so we can have two flavors of heel: one dedicated to derailing the matches but have the strength to back it up, and another just ready to tear their opponent apart

in that note, j5g cannot go heel. they're literally the found family underdog faction (v. similar to dark order on aew atm ). and have you seen SANADA recently? he trended on twitter every single match he had when he switched up his allegiance. the Japanese fans wanted to see him fired up like this. you would lose the surge of interest he's got going on if he decided to cheat and be dastardly.

with how factions are shaking up, tmdk's alignment could shift more into being heelish as UE is crazy over with the local japanese crowd. the camaraderie UE showed during the njcup has changed a lot of perceptions about the group. the crowd here loves fletcher and dunky's promos backstage are so good as a face.

tmdk is the one that i don't think the crowd has truly clicked with yet and so they could turn heel, but it might mean sacrificing zsj's storyline with ichiban sweet boy fujita. if they go heel, the tutor/student arc would have to then be ~evil~ and that kinda sucks since the beats in that story are wholesome and laid out nicely. one of the few tmdk storylines i find to be paced well, too.

anyway, what i wanted to say was... bring in team filthy. bring in some baddies. destroy chaos

#njpw txt #txt #*meta #*booking

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crystalelemental · 1 month

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Unicorn Overlord round 2 complete. Tried a couple different teams, though a lot of generalized structures remained in place. Teams below the cut. I probably won't do yet another playthrough, I'm...kinda getting burnt out on it. But it's consumed enough of my life that I don't really know what I'll do next, so stay tuned I suppose.

Team 1: Alain/Liza, Eltolinde/Ridiel/Chloe Eltolinde was my choice for Ring of the Maiden this time through, and...look. This was not an effective choice overall. A big problem I have with the Ring of the Maiden is...1PP. This can be offset with something like a 1AP weapon and Amethyst Pendant, getting the 4/4 you want, but Eltolinde has access to no such weapon. For full 4/4, she needs Ruby/Sapphire, but there's not enough equipment for that. Ring of the Maiden is a generally mediocre choice on her. Not that she doesn't make it work, her AoE spam into repetitive Primus Edge is fantastic. Ridiel can freeze, which usually hits the armor knight trying to block her shots, setting up an uninterrupted AoE shot. Chloe was initially set to Active Gift on Eltolinde, but Eltolinde's own Elemental Impetus kinda ruins that plan. I just couldn't separate her from Ridiel. Liza was here because...honestly I just wasn't sure what to do. I kinda threw her in with the intent of healing Alain with a guard when he gets low, alleviating Eltolinde of healer duty. The team certainly worked, just like last run the Alain team basically went undefeated. I had slightly less fun with it this time, solely because I don't feel like I had the best sense of cohesion.

Team 2: Melisandre/Celeste/Umerus, Scarlett/Galadmir Speaking of. Melisandre's Meteor Strike can be good damage, but I found Aubin was not the solution I'd hoped for. Despite War Horn, her problems continued to interfere, and I find her utility much more useful than her damage. A surprising number of teams that pack high evasion and flying units are hard to deal with, and Melisandre is an excellent response to them. It's just that Meteor Strike does not feel like it's doing what it needs to do half the time. She also really wants protection late game. Without someone to shield her, she's relying on her ability to dodge, which is never an ideal approach. Umerus, like Ochlys, is kinda whatever. I don't really respect Feathersword as a class, even if I love Ochlys. Galadmir was attempting to freeze stall. Celeste continues to Fatal Dive, and is very good at it.

Team 3: Berengeria/Gloucester/Hilda, Morard/Primm Finally. Last run, I tried to pick up Berengeria's team late in the game, but they kinda didn't work so well and were behind on level, so they never caught up. This time they did, and as soon as we hit Bastoria, it was basically over. This team was crazy good. Berengeria's Eye of the Warrior Princess sets up the power boost on Gloucester, whose burn kicks off Berengeria's boosts when targets are afflicted. Sanguine Pursuit in particular just becomes ridiculous. Hilda with Aerial Wing contributes with her own Fire Breath. Primm is downright essential. Gloucester needs someone healing, or it becomes a massive problem for him, given the constant HP cuts he inflicts on himself. Morard is an odd one, and truthfully, I think I could've swapped him out, but he worked well and I never felt the need to. Morard got me to respect Berserkers. Mounting Charge into Grand Smash is fantastic. I actually gave him Knot of Ruin. In the back row, the -30 HP is minor, and low Initiative isn't a problem at all when he's the finisher. The +1AP is really nice, because it means his AP and PP considerations are already taken care of for you. With Lionheart and Mirrored Spectacles, he's a lot more accurate than I gave him credit for.

Team 4: Hodrick/Miriam, Yunifi/Tatiana/Yahna Minor changes, but the intent was to aim for freeze. It doesn't really work that well, if I'm being honest. While the Legionnaire/Sainted Knight combo feels right, I find it needs much more power in the back row than what we're actually using here. I dunno. Maybe the class combo just sounds good and I'm just unimpressed by their functional ability.

Team 5: Bryce/Monica/Bertrand, Ramona/Nina Alright, listen. Do I like Bertrand and Ramona? Not really. Bertrand is alright, though the split of one attack with high HP and one with low is really awkward, especially since the high HP one is only at the end of the battle. He's fine, if slightly uninteresting. Ramona, however, is not exactly my favorite. I think it's just misalignment. I felt like Ramona's HP recovery and PP restoration would be good on a more defensive frontline like this, but I kinda disagree with myself. Her sky-high initiative, combined with Extra Heal granting +30 initiative to an entire row, makes me feel like her best use is more offensive in nature. Like, swapping her in for Morard in the Berengeria team likely would've been tremendous, because now they're kicking up high initiative and HP recovery and she's popping in more PP for follow-ups. I do attribute many of her failures to using her wrong. Or at least, sub-optimally. She does die an awful lot, though. And her skills feel very busy without high AP/PP boosting items.

#unicorn overlord

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dzpenumbra · 1 year

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4/6/23

I decided to do a sketch tonight, that kinda turned into a drawing.

I just got my new keyboard tonight, and I'm just going to give my quick review while that drawing kinda permeates a bit. The sensitivity and smoothness of the keys on this keyboard is phenomenal. Very smooth, very responsive. It's a mechanical keyboard. So... what I think that means is "we decided to deliberately make this keyboard loud as fuck so it sounds like you're playing games more aggressively." Which, of course, is making it sound like I'm firing off a fucking AA gun while I type this. It's legitimately distracting. It's not the worst thing in the world, it's just taking a lot of getting used to. Especially at 3:30 AM, I get really self-conscious about being loud and upsetting my neighbors.

Which is fucking weird because of how little they seem to care about being respectful with their noise... My neighbor to the left has a dog and occasionally has people over and is far from quiet. My other neighbor is a nurse (I think) and is not home often, but is far from quiet when she is. My upstairs neighbor blasts generic classical music at least once a week, I'm guessing it's a "date night" with her boyfriend or something, because the loud moaning noises around 11PM those nights are... less-than-subtle. I'm honestly probably the most quiet person in this cluster of apartments. But in my head, it's not those people I'm worried about, it's the X-factor, the people downstairs. I don't mind being loud for people that are also loud, I mind being loud for people who are quiet.

Anyhow, I'm still getting used to the keyboard and I am typing much slower because of it, making many more errors. It's a bit frustrating but it is what it is.

Today, I woke up to a message from a family friend. He's an artist, he lives in a town not far from me. He wanted to know if I wanted to get lunch. I wasn't out of bed until like 2, he sent the text at quarter to 8 in the morning. It didn't lead to anything, it was raining all day.

I. Hate. Having to explain. My sleep schedule. But I can't just make myself tired at midnight. These hours are my most creatively productive, and out of the entire day, the most and best work I've gotten done was past midnight. Hands down. I got work done on my hoodie - sectioning the zodiac, measuring the spacing based on the procession at the time of my birth, placing markers for planetary positions. And I did that drawing, which was cool. During the day, I have shit to do. And on nice days, I'd rather be outside. I'd much rather use my daylight hours to go outside and be in nature or be social or get chores done than sitting alone at a fucking desk working on a project. For real. And if that's the case, then when the fuck am I going to get work done?! Right? So... I compromise. I compromise daylight hours so that I can have some day, then devote the night hours to work.

Idk, maybe that's bullshit. Maybe I don't know why. Maybe because at night it's easy to completely lose track of time. Maybe because it's super quiet and peaceful late at night, less distractions, less interruptions. Maybe because I don't feel safe and I feel vulnerable at night. I don't know. All I know is that I have always naturally reverted to this schedule, unless I had a very clear reason not to.

I'm really tired of having to make excuses for being who I am. For living my life. Honestly. I'm just exhausted. To me, it's super simple. I'm on a night schedule, so if you're going to make plans with me, aim for the afternoon or plan early with me. That's really it. And it should really be as simple as that. And if it's really that weird that I'm on this sleep schedule, it should be really memorable... but for some reason, it just... isn't. I really need to get out of the habit of explaining my mental health and shit to get people off my back, it's really no one's business.

I'm completely losing interest in what I'm typing about. XD I'm legit just bored of stressing out about hypothetical situations that aren't even happening. It's so tiring. So... here's the big bombshell of the day, might as well get it over with. My mom texted me. She's been out of contact since the 17th of last month. We had a big fight, I hung up and told her lines of communication are severed until she can demonstrate that having a conversation with her is a safe place for me. I have no idea if she even knows what that means, but yeah. She just sent a sentiment message like... she wanted to be respectful of my space or something? And how she's thinking of me. Welp, maybe someday that "thinking" will translate into like... being supportive of someone with different tastes, views and goals than herself. Which apparently is a no-no in my family by default.

I strongly doubt she's put much time or effort into trying to address these problems. It's been years of this crap. She did like 2 family therapy sessions and then it just... stopped happening. She has gone to a whopping 3 or 4 therapy sessions of her own doing and just... stops going. You can't make someone put in the time and effort to work on family, or on themselves. Ever. You just can't do it. No matter how painful and powerless it makes you feel. And, unfortunately, I can't let my life keep being steered and restricted by those who don't even make the time to get to know me. Who have ironically had the duration of my entire life to do so, and simply chose to spend that time in other ways. It was very hard for me to accept that in the beginning, and it still hurts, but now I'm much more comfortable walking away. I have to be.

Why? Well... Because they would not wait around for me. If the situation was reversed, they would not wait around 3-4 years, enduring lashing out and threats and screaming and venting, for that person to finally learn how they can be a supportive, healthy family member.

It hurts me so much because. It's family. Because family isn't supposed to be like this. And I was in denial about this for so long. I just assumed that everyone else's family was like this, that this is what family is. And those corny, lovey-dovey families? They were fake, they were full of shit. They were hiding something. Or, I'd convince myself it was obnoxious or something, likely because of how overwhelming it was, because it was so fucking alien. Like... okay... I remember freshman year of highschool I had a friend and I remember his mother hugged me and I... didn't know what to do. I just went stiff as a board and stood there and I bet my eyes bugged out and it was like someone dropped me in a dunk tank of sensory overwhelm or something. That shit did not happen in my family, or in my life, really. So, stuff like that.

So... I guess once I hit my early 30's and really started to establish positive boundaries, like what kind of relationships I wanted? Shit like that? That's when shit started hitting the fan. Go figure, right? I get out of a super unhealthy relationship, I suffer my first encounters with Death - all in a very short period of time - I try to detox off benzos and start smoking weed at the same time... then I freak out - big fucking surprise... - and end up being sent to an outpatient program in a state retreat. There, I learn about like... mindfulness, and more obscure meditation practices, and... how incredibly dysfunctional my family is... and most importantly boundaries.

I studied hard, I learned a ton and then I came home. Within 4 months, the shit had already started to hit the fan with my family. Because I was actually being proactive about like... being clear about how people can and cannot treat me, I was setting boundaries and being vocal with my needs (which is also setting positive boundaries). And this affected more than just my relationships with family, this affected my "friendships" too. And within... 8 months? Every relationship in my life had ended. And not on good terms. Very often they ended with me just like the drawing I did tonight. Wide-eyed, depressed, but mostly in disbelief. In shock. "I flew to Florida to be your best man and you won't tell your friends about my stream, and you're putting your foot down about it?..." "You used to call me your best friend and you want to pencil me in to have a phone call... next month?..." "I just told you I'm full-on panic attack freaking out and you're... falling asleep?..."

Ugh, just reliving these quotes is a highlight reel I really don't need right now. These are all real things, the real ends to years-long relationships. I just don't really want to linger on this, this is a bit more painful than I thought.

It's easy as fuck to get mad at people and talk shit about people who do stuff like that. It's way harder to like... look past that crust layer of "my experience" and "how it affects me" and see how deeply ashamed they would feel if they looked into a mirror and actually saw the situation from my eyes. How they treated me so... distantly... so callously... like someone they were chatting with in the comments section of reddit or some shit. And yet said they were my "friend". I've theorized a few outcomes of this. These people truly just have very minimal conscience, or are just so caught in their ego, their own self experience that they barely even detect my life as existing other than how it fits into the framework of their narrative. "Main Character" syndrome. Or... their shame is so profoundly deep and profoundly repressed... that if they even got a glimpse of it? They would shatter or outburst. In short, either they can't see how fucked they have treated me, or they won't allow themselves to. And I'm starting to learn that... either way... I can't show it to them.

Not only is it dangerous for me to be the one that points out their shame or guilt - especially with people with unaddressed trauma, panic responses, etc. - but, honestly, it's not my job. My job is to work on myself, make things and tell stories. I'm not a preacher. I'm not a therapist. I'm not a bodhisattva. I'm just a dude who loves to learn and make cool things, who stumbles across really cool shit and wants to share it with people. I'm a good listener, I try to give good advice, I give all that I can afford to others and I am honest. But I'm learning that I need to like... set clear lines. Because some people will just... ignore them. And tell me I can't have them. Apparently, a lot of people will. And I need to be cautious about how truthful I am.

I hate saying that. But it's true. I need to be cautious about how truthful I am with people who are not in touch with their emotions. This doesn't mean to lie or deceive - only when there's like... a serious threat at play... - it means to just... stop talking.

I have learned that some people will thank you for letting them know they have spinach in their teeth... but some will scream and deny it, some will accuse you of making it up as a way of insulting them, and some will straight up attack you. And I honestly just can't wait until I end up around people in the first category. Then... I think I'll find my way into some healthier relationships.

Ugh, see what gets unraveled just by one text message. It didn't come from bad intentions, of course. I just wish my family would put a fraction of the effort they put into fighting and defending themselves into... learning how to have healthier relationships. You know?

Vibe reset time, gotta get to bed. I got more work on the hoodie done, it should be done... if I work on it tomorrow... probably 2 days? Maybe 3? Depends on how many coats I need. And I got groceries and a calzone delivered today which was chill. Running into the first person I've seen in like 3-4 days the hallway really jump-scared me, but that passed quick. The headphones help.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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vespulagermanica · 1 year

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Just a question. How did you find my blog and why did you like my stuff? Like I know you'd hate me. You'd be so anti me so I'm like haha why'd you interact.

I mean I'd block you because there's nothing more depressing and attention seeking than running a blog based on hate. Your username and pfp are aimed towards hating one piece of media which is undeniably problematic in nature, while your header and blog focus on hating on a guy who has been dead for over 100 years and was a product of his time period (which doesn't make it acceptable, it just makes it sadly stereotypical—also to the best of my knowledge he never spoke out against Jewish people, although at times he wrote in poor nature which is unacceptable, yes, but also rooted in his perception of society which wasn't good and I'm not making excuses for him but rather I'm trying to explain that he wasn't radical in his thinking and if given equal social resources as today he most likely would have been perfectly accepting of Jewish people) and also given the nature of Victorian prostitutes I don't think he was as much of a nonce as you think, but you're entitled to whatever thoughts float around in your brain. Also once again, Oscar Wilde has been dead for over 100 years so it's not like he's profiting anymore.

The only reason I'm not blocking you on sight is because I'm fairly interested in what you have to say. You may have nothing at all to say, and honestly if I were you I'd just block you without response, but obviously we are two extremely different people.

Ok so trying to answer this as nicely as possible because i dont know why a random person i dont follow has so much hate for me over some shitpost and suchand i am very very very tired and people are being so very mean to me about this . Am not crytyping people say that sometimes when im tired i just an super tird . the pfp and header are just silly things based on inside jokes i thought that was a normal tumblr thing to do. Also idont know who you are i literally dont even follow you. I make a bit of a joke of hatinh oscar wilde but erm the postes i made about him were ages ago except for one of them which was literally inspired by this new york time( https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/10/11/the-myth-of-oscar-wildes-martyrdom)

or whatever article. take issue with the author from new yorker instead of little autistic guy who doesn’t know you.

take issue with the author from new yorker instead of little autistic guy who doesn’t know you. idk why people are so pressed on something i made when i was 13 and posted when i was older because i remembered my friends thought it was silly. Idk why you are so pressed over me existing. But i dont have a lot of friends on here and mostly reblog stuff i Enjoy and forget to update my profile text with any change in interestes. idk why you think i am a 100 percent hater. I dont really hate wilde as much as i hate people idolizijg him and uwu gay beaning him, but i do kinda dislike the dead guy because of that idolization amongst people who want a accessible gay victorian icon. And also because he(probably , we will never 100 percent know for sure,)had sex with drunk people snd people never tell you that in those polished dark academia pintrest quote boards. Some but not all of the court reccords of these boys say that he intoxicated them severly . And i doubt this is lies because in my research of this topic of victorian rent boys(it is special interest) many get arrested for being acomplies no matter what they say, and infact jack saul, who was very open about his gay actions, got away free fromthe cleveland street scanfal. And also not every one in wilde trials said that wilde intoxicated them so the chances of it being dreadful marquess douglas plot is slimmer. Of course we will never know forsure but rich people have always been strange and awful and i feel that people never consider the class element of things. Haha wilde wrote something on socialism. Nice. Now can we please see something by a lowerclass person maybe

Also idc if people read him more power foryou reading and analysis is really cool especially with the layered homosexual subtext wilde has(he even very lightly references fanny n stella once. Real neat stuff imo and shows how tight knit late victorian gay stuff was)

I know 5at the victorian era was messy and awful at times, i know that in france the age of consent was 13 and in Britain at the time it was 17. I know about the fact telegraph boys were basically a gay version of romanticized schoolgirls. But still there is someyhing kinda unsettling about wildes potential actions being glossed over. It is strange and offputting to see from people with multiple postes against republicans spreading lies about lgbt child groomers. Because that is just a bit of fuel to republicans fire and its painful to see people ignore that sort of thing in my mind, i am sorry if i have a weird sense of justice about dead lower class people. But i just do. Baby im an Anarchist or whatever. Words arent wording sorrythat probably sounded awful

Im sorry if you are upset by my blog i mostly a, m just rebloggimh random stufv i see that i think is cool, and such. Please dont yell at me via cyberspace i wanted to provide as good a response to you as can in this state other people are being really nasty to me over thisand idk why they care about this dead guy so much . That they have to send nasty and ablesist stuff. Sorry its just super scarry

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gamergirluprising · 4 years

Text

(WARNING SENSITIVE INFO WILL BE DISCUSSED OR GIVEN. IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE INFO REGARDING SELF-HARM OR BULLYING I’D ADVISE YOU NOT TO READ ON. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED)

Hello, everyone, I’d like to share somethings that have urked me and outright surprise me when getting deeper and deeper into this whole shebang cause honestly, this is too much to NOT notice. If you're wondering what I am talking about I am referring to all the stuff I found out about Viv and the fact that she never truly seemed sorry for what she's done to said people based on what I have found out and what she's said in recent years.

Now you all may say "G, she said she's sorry and that's that. Don't bring up things that happened years ago or have been resolved." and look, man, I'd leave it alone if it was CLEAR that she was truly a person of her word, wasn't a hypocrite, and didn't cause 3 people to be suicidal and cause/know of witchhunts that she KNOWS happened and/or wanted to happen. You guys can like her all you want and defend her, but be sure they are good defenses, understand WHERE I am coming from, and be mindful of what I am saying. Don't just ignore everything she did just cause you THINK she's super nice or because she's your idol.

I will also emphasize that I wish for NO ONE to send any unnecessary hate or anything of the like to Viv. You don't stoop to someone else's level just cause they did some bad crap. I just wanted to say any of this, loud and clear, cause its straight facts that shouldn't be buried just cause she wants to hold onto her image the best she can. That isn't at all fair to those victims who have been wronged and had their names tainted over her destructive and mean-spirited hypocritical behavior. AGAIN DO NOT ATTACK VIV AND DON'T THINK ME CALLING HER OUT IS A REASON TO HATE HER. We can be better than her in terms of handling things. Do not also think me calling her out shouldn't have been done JUST CAUSE you don't wanna hear it or not. If you don't wanna see it, you don't have to read it.

with that being said, LET'S DISSECT.

S T A R V A D E R

First I have to start off relaying to you guys what Starvader had stated at the beginning of the document so you'll get a jist of why she even spoke up in the first place.

"I type this document with no malicious intent only my personal thoughts on how I feel recently about the situation since its been on my mind well every day now since 2013. At least five years I’ve had thoughts below as to my personal experience of meeting an ex idol and why sometimes meeting your idol isn’t the best approach. For me, that ex idol is Vivienne Medrano creator of Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel. I’m not aiming to defame this creator nor do I think people should stop liking their work or stop supporting them. If you like their work there is nothing wrong with that but I will refuse to silence myself any longer due to how much this rarely leaves my mind and tends to come up. This has been a situation swept under the rug and most would probably state ‘ well why are you bringing all this up now it was so and so years ago you guys squashed this etc etc “ that being the case, sorry doesn’t fix emotional trauma that comes up frequently during depressive episodes and comments do tend to stick to people in a certain way. Apology or not, words have a heavy weight to them."

I put this here even though I will be putting a link to her doc because people will most likely not read or press the link and just act as if Starvader wanted blood. No, she stated her mind and was clear when saying she wanted no harm done to Viv.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRX8VEoTS7Xot7D9u5i7MMEgtT44mNEtgpl4FY7QDZCA7ZY2j-CTJF7Uw_JwSJ6WUQNVvaTQv60Igte/pub

In this link It tells anyone who comes across it what she and some others mentioned here had to go through when being compared by Viv, wanting to do what's right and still being "called out" and bullied while getting hate sent to them, and having been told how her dreams would never ever be achieved and that she should practically give up, how she put friends against one another, etc. It showcases screenshots of these examples.

It all began with the accusation of art theft. The very thing she played the victim in with someone else. I'm sure some of you old-time fans of Viv know who this person was and are aware of the beef they had with one another. After reading Starvader's Doc, I want you to look at the post Vivziepop made to defame someone known as

D O L L C R E E P

This may be a throwback to you and you all may have thought this person was abusive. I won't say that they did absolutely nothing wrong since they themselves have said they did some wrong in the situation, but I will say that one was more of a problem starter than the other.

http://web.archive.org/web/20151008172207/http://enoughisenough-dollcreep.tumblr.com/post/125101370456/my-experience-with-dollcreep

Notice in this post that the very things she did to Starvader she said DollCreep did to her and how she tries and paint DollCreep as this SEVERELY abusive person. Hell even in Starvader's document you'll see that DollCreep told SV that he talked with Viv about the whole thing regarding SV and Viv and she apparently listened at the time. Not to mention that the screenshots Viv put in that post were either take(very possibly) taken out of context or not even bad to begin with (though his reply about the face thing was odd and shouldn't have been addressed b but due to circumstances, I think that's why he was so cautious). I don't know DC like that, but this kinda makes me feel as though he wasn't a bad person Viv makes him out to be and more her trying to destroy his image ENTIRELY for her benefit, cause till this very day she still calls him an abuser and someone she doesn't want to meet again.

if you continue on into the post she made, you'll see that she has made characters, EERILY SIMILAR to DC's, some WAY MORE than others. SV was willing to change some of the designs and even wanted to stop, Viv, however, seemed to take great offense over such an accusation and took to social media to make her frustrations known. SV kept this hidden from 2013 to 2018.

Oh btw, if you read the doc you'll see that SV wanted to commit suicide. DC actually attempted it. The cyberbullying ran that deep and it ANGERS me.

here’s what someone who saw the sitch had to say.

https://web.archive.org/web/20170619163024/http://dcs-personal-blog.tumblr.com/

can find everything here regarding what DC said about the sitch. You guys DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HURT THIS PERSON. It actually pisses me off that people even attacked DC and blindly believed Viv. It’s Johnny Depp’s situation all freaking over again

Here’s the picture of Viv saying that he was abusive, completely ignoring her behavior, and knowing hate would be sent to DC. Again won’t say that DC was completely innocent but damn man, was this necessary? DC even said that they talked it out and everything

https://vivziepop.tumblr.com/post/179705403534/im-only-going-to-say-this-once

Don’t even get me started on the whole character credit fiasco that Viv refused to properly fix.

https://krieg-was-taken.tumblr.com/post/101438542866/dollcreep-kibadoglover45-dollcreep-even

Look at this as well.

https://web.archive.org/web/20200104224648/https://tyacutie123.tumblr.com/post/125800399071/beware-of-abusive-artist

it mentions SV again, but it also brings into light a parody character meant to mock DC during all of this drama.

https://killapunk.tumblr.com/post/125896144245/dcs-personal-blog-enoughisenough-dollcreep/amp

DollCreep does the same thing back and is treated like the enemy. Hypocrisy at its finest.

now, most of you guys will be saying that this all happened in the past. It’s over, some will say, She’s changed (some of you may even say that these people deserve it. Yes people actually have said stuff like this to me or others) but here’s the problem, She still pulls crap like this to ruin people or to make others feel stupid. Just last year she was laughing with JaneGumball (who APPARENTLY made up with the victim) saying that she deserves it for being rude when the girl just said her opinion and was still a fan of Viv at the time, meaning she didn’t even mean to hurt Viv’s feelings and, hear me out, even if she did WHY FIND HER CYBERBULLYING FUNNY AND JUSTIFIED OVER AN OPINION? What sort of logic is that? That’s GREATLY immature and unnecessary, especially for someone her age (She’s 27 or 28 guys while the victim was 15, come on man!)

and I’m sure some of you know what happened with the person who made a meme regarding HH and other animated cartoons.

She’s VERY MUCH AWARE THAT THEY WERE ATTACKED....and this is how she responds....wow O K A Y.

So no, she didn’t actually change because she most likely didn’t think she had to. People kept supporting her thus making her believe that what she did was correct. Oh and Faust is practically Viv as well. (As seen by the SV doc and this tweet thread)

https://twitter.com/melonbea/status/1206994000563068930?s=19

Hell Viv seemed to ignore this too, as well as a lot of shipping drama if it involves a specific ship, but I won’t delve too deep into that subject since I am not very aware of the things that go down in that side of the fandom.

and there’s this

https://afraidofmonsters-headcanons.tumblr.com/post/188662798256/so-lets-talk-about-this-blog-the-fandom-and-viv

and this

https://historia-kq.tumblr.com/post/190882421127

I’d advise you guys to hear these things out.

Oh and Viv is the type to be a Hypocrite regularly,

https://twitter.com/VivziePop/status/613097846603026433?s=19

I could send you all the screenshots of her tweets but that should be another post on its own cause THERE IS A LOT. Like her Cancel Culture tweet, that tweet where she said, and I quote, “The hypocrisy is strong” back in 2014, November 29th. That time she had a thread of tweets saying, and I quote “never let someone dictate your value as an artist! Never seek the approval of someone else and conform to what they say you should do!” Despite doing this to StarVader.

If you guys want screenshots I can either personally DM or make a post showing her hypocrisy. Cause honestly this is rather, dare I say it, TOXIC. She’s manipulated people and has used them when they don’t abide by her rules or make a mistake that could have been resolved privately, she attacks and it’s saddening. I am TIRED of people getting hurt by her and I am tired of her abusing her power. If she wants to change I am COMPLETELY DOWN for that, but change starts when you want it. You can’t say sorry and expect people not to see past the lies or see that you obviously didn’t change. Sorry should mean what it means, feeling regret or penitence, but if you don’t at all exhibit these things then how are we supposed to believe that you are at all sorry for anything you’ve done currently AND in the past? I mean damn dude did you guys even know what happened to the cosplayer that Viv was mad about?

https://boricua-moonbakery.tumblr.com/post/616407364553310208

Now look, if you like Viv’s content, that’s your choice. I for one very much do like some fan content that i’ve stumbled onto and find some very creative and my cup of tea and while I’m not a huge fan of HH I still very much find the premise very creative. What I do if a creator of something is majorly sketch or strange I simply seperateb the content from the creator. I simply wanted to point out things many peeps don’t know about and any person who is a fan of Viv, I hope you’d at least understand WHY I am at all saying anything I am saying. I want there to be justice but I want things to be fair. I don’t want Viv to get hurt, but I want her to actually learn from her mistakes. I am not here to discourage you from anything, it’s your choice if you choose to stay and I will not judge you for it. I am a girl who SIMPLY wants people to be more aware of who exactly Vivienne Medrano is. She’s mistreated both fans of HH and ZP and it boggles me.

If you guys want more info, like her tweets that I mentioned, just message me.

END OF DISSECTION

#hazbin hotel #vivziepop #vivziemind #vivziepop drama #vivziemind drama #vivienne medrano #vivienne medrano drama #cyberbullying #hypocrisy #Trigger warning #tw #content warning #vivziepop critique

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wheresthemuffinman · 3 years

Text

So I've been really into interactive fiction for a long while and I've finally decided to showcase my various MC(s) over different IFs.

(Who I may have incorporated from my OCs from a series (or at least a universe) I'm working on😌)

Picture made by Picrew (https://picrew.me/image_maker/625951)

This MC is based in Triaina Academy by @leo-interactive-fiction

WARNING: This post is long and doesn't have proper capitalisation at times

*looks at the camera* "This is boring, can I please do something else?"

File: #01 : Triaina Academy

Date of recording:*Data Corrupted*

Interviewee: Melody "Mai" Razor

---------------------PARTICULARS-------------------

Appearance: Hazel eyes that look like topaz in bright light and black hair that reach her shoulders. Wears a pair of red glasses and has a mole below her left eye.

Power: Blood manipulation

Description: Seemingly obedient as first, she'll roll along to anything that happens until it starts to inconvenience her or she gets bored. After that it'll be a 50/50 chance she'll start to mess around or just deviate and do something else entirely.

Doesn't trust easily, but loves to mess around with people by teasing them playfully after warming up to them.

Likes to act like she's running on a single brain cell 24/7, has a habit of running around aimlessly and just exploring places that seem interesting.

She took on the name of "Mai" to abandon her past and start anew. She'll grow to letting go of her abandonment issues and let extremely close friends of use her actual name after a long while.

---------------------VIDEO CUTS---------------------

*The following words appear on the screen: "What do you think about..."*

Emil Dobry

"Em's like the little bro I never had. Though, he tends to be a tad bit too naive for my comfort. We're kinda in troublesome times with cutthroats everywhere and I'm kinda worried he might not be able to make the right call when the going gets tough and I'm not there, you know?"

Notes: Her time as the eldest among her fellow sea urchins when young carried over to the present. She feels responsible for Emil and his happiness. Gets him little trinkets she finds from time to time and he is one of the few people she'll happily do favors for, no questions asked. (The other being a baker who gave her bread occasionally in the past)

Robin Vallenford

"Birdie? He seems alright, can't say much from him at first glance, just know he's hiding something. His fights with Em are a great source of entertainment at times, downright childish on others. On hindsight though, he does bring colour to the whole dorm."

*She tilts a head to the side, leaning back and kicking her feet up midair, grinning slyly*

"I think we'll get along juuust fine."

Notes: She seems to be respectful of Robin and interested in knowning him better. Would gladly play a round of cards with him even if she knew she was going to lose.

Vin Wolfe

*She frowns slightly* "I'm gonna be honest, I didn't think much of Sunshine back in the arena. But when he pulled that gun out I think I nearly lost 10 years of my life. But,"

*She stares at the ceiling thoughtfully*

"He doesn't seem to mean any harm, maybe he just has a few things to work off." *Mumbling* "Bet his aim's really good too, might want to see if he'll teach me."

Notes: She doesn't know what to fully make out of Vin, she's a little put off by the commander title (she's not used to commanding other people at all. She's prefers to operate independently). More than happy to teach him what she knows about academics. Notes to herself to keep an eye out for his sake.

Calls Vin "Sunshine" (at least in her head).

Leah Scio

*Her eyes light up* "Bluejay? She's really pretty and nice, quiet though. She's also pretty much the only other person I know that wears glasses and I think she reads alot! I'd really like to see her collection sometime. She's like Em, but doesn't appear to be naive. Actually, now that I think about it, I can't really compare those two. It's like oranges and pears you'know? She's definitely smarter, and less emotional when there's thinking to be done."

Notes: She enjoys Leah's company and wants to learn from her. One of the very few people she cares about that she goes easy on when fighting (she feels really bad hurting them). Calls her "Bluejay".

---------------------VIDEO CUTS---------------------

*Reading through a folder that has the word "CONFIDENTIAL" on its front* "Ooooo"

*A rough voice can be heard from behind the camera* "Woi, who gave that to 'er? Someone take it away!"

*The folder gets swipped out of her hands from a passer-by* "Wha-Hey! What gives-oh"

*she glances behind the camera and readjusts her voice, flashing a sheepish grin*

"Sorry, got a little distracted there, shall we continue?"

---------------------------------------------------------

Pierce Crater

"Firecracker? Well I don't really have much to say about him that he himself isn't already making obvious."

*She brings a hand up to her chin, posing in mock contemplation*

"He swears alot, jumps to conclusions, and is really prone to resorting to violence to solve his problems. He would honestly make a terrible diplomat."

*She pauses for a few moments, her eyes go distant*

"Though he does seem to put his best into the many things I've seen him do. His position as a representative might be saying something about his leadership...and he is really easy to embarrass...wonder how he fights...?"

Notes: Her attitude towards Pierce seems to change to somewhat more reasonable and surprisingly more careful, a stark contrast to her more playful and nonchalant interactions to her own dormmates. She doesn't seem to trust him much, but she also doesn't realise herself hanging around him more.

Unfortunately for Pierce (or "Firecracker") , she also seems to be increasingly curious about him after this interview. Granted, this was bound to happen sooner than later.

Matthew Crater

*She squints, a faraway look in her eyes*

"Snowflake's a strange one, never really met anyone who passes out so frequently. He's a cute one though, gonna be honest. Friendly too, other than that though, don't really know much else."

Notes: Amicable with Matthew (Nicknamed: "Snowflake"), she doesn't seem to understand much about his...suggestions to wake up. Most likely will nap with him if she catches his sleeping during a break.

Raven

*Her posture tenses slightly, before quickly relaxing*

"Bubbles'...alright. Honestly I'm more surprised by myself for not getting more freaked out. She unpredictable, and smarter than she lets on."

*She shrugs*

"Needs to calm the homocidal vibes though, I'd be more worried about Em when he's around her."

Notes: Slightly unsettled by Raven's (Nickname: "Bubbles") clinginess to her. She is curious on Raven's interest in her, but also slightly wary of what she could do.

Snipper of Scorpion’s Den

*Her smile grows into a wide Chesire-like grin*

"Ah, finally! Snip's unlike the other lot in the academy. Just met 'er and I already love 'er to bits. Not one to detect social cues though, and is a little too loud at times."

*she winks at the camera* "Trust me when I tell ya that if you were to leave us alone for even 2 seconds, and we'll paint the town red."

Notes: She'll never admit it, but Snipper reminds her a little like her old friends on the street, before she found a roof over her head. She misses them, the people who shaped her and that she'll never see again, making the times she and Snipper hang out sometimes slightly more melancholic.

Outside that though, she's more than willing to watch Snipper testing on something or just working on Sandy.

Fray De Forêt

*She bites her lip, giving a wistful smile*

"Liliac's alright, I don't hate her, she's just a little bit of a snob. Then again, I've never really talked to nobility before, so maybe I should save the judgement for later."

*She stops and smiles slightly at the ceiling*

"Though, she does have a certain respect for nature. I can understand that. The forests hide so many secrets and animals, what's not to love about it?"

Note: She's doesn't really have many feelings towards Fray( Nicknamed: "Liliac"), though she respects her power. She'll listen to her demands and maaaybe oblige them, but she'll be damned if she gives Fray full control over her.

-------------Video freezes, a static of the TV hums, before the screen cuts off into darkness------------

---------------------VIDEO ENDS---------------------

#triaina academy #I wanted to have a some fun while presenting and have decided to make an archive of taped interviews regarding all my OCs.#this includes the ones I've made for my original universe (so it'd be more like AUs for these characters #this includes Mai)#The Archived Tapes #Mai #File 01 #This was my first time making this and this really was fun #The things not centred and I typed this all on mobile I'll fix these later #just realised I have a test to study for but my singular brain cell went: lol nope I wanna write something #so here I am #thanks if you read up to here #it means alot

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