#Jeff(shit sorry Jeff I forgot your last name</33) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

toothsy · 5 years

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Get to know me

My friend : *comes to me randomly* HEY

Me: *jumps* geez you scared me..

My friend : You have a blog on tumblr, right ?

Me : uh... yeah ? I don’t wanna talk about what I write on it plea-

My friend : NONONO that’s not what I want to talk about. Knowing you, you probably didn’t say anything about yourself on your blog :

Me : well-

My friend : SO - I found this *show me the post* - and - hope u do it.

Me : *shrugs* fine

(Just letting you know how I found this -)

A/N : I know I don’t have a lot of followers and probably no one wanna know who I am but I just wanted to do it

And my friends wanted me to do it too, so uh, here it goes

1. What is you middle name? Don’t have one ?

2. How old are you? 14- I’m 15 in December 2 though

3. When is your birthday? December 2

4. What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius heh

5. What is your favorite color? Hmm, would say blue or green

6. What’s your lucky number? Hmm... would say 13 ?

7. Do you have any pets? Okay hum... 11 dogs - and 3 fish

8. Where are you from? Canada, Quebec to be more specific...

9. How tall are you? Okay please... don’t - laugh at me for this... but I’m 4’9. Which is totally small ugh

10. What shoe size are you? 36-5.5, something like that

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 2

12. What was your last dream about? It was pretty weird - but it was just me drinking coffee until my sister came in and said I forgot to put cream in it and then I said ‘’but I like black coffee’’

13. What talents do you have? I draw, I write, I play piano, lil bit of guitar and trumpet , dunno if I should call myself talented though

14. Are you psychic in any way? No ? I don’t know ?

15. Favorite song? Hmm, I wouldn’t say I have a favorite one, but I’m listening to Billie Eilish a lot

16. Favorite movie? Aaargagsgaga, Jurassic Park, since I’m 4 so...

17. Who would be your ideal partner? *shrugs* honestly I don’t even care about the personality of the person (I mean, except if the person is really an asshole) as long as they’re here for me

And laugh at my terrible puns.

18. Do you want children? Hell no, well at least really not right now. Some kids really gets on my nerves honestly ;;’ and one of my worst phobia is too much pain so -

19. Do you want a church wedding? Heh, not really into that stuff, but it could change, depends I guess.

20. Are you religious? Not really

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Well - of course -

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nah never, I’m a cool person honestly xd

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? No but would love to

24. Baths or showers? I really like both, it depends I guess

25. What color socks are you wearing? Black uwu

26. Have you ever been famous? hahahHA no

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Huh, I’m scared of being overwhelmed by people so maybe not xd

28. What type of music do you like? Depends, I like calm and rock music, weird huh

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No ?

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3, I feel like if I don’t hug something while sleeping - I just don’t sleep well, and yes , I also sleep with a plushie ‘cuz of this

31. What position do you usually sleep in? Lateral safety position

32. How big is your house? *shrugs* big enough for 4 people

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Rice Krispies, believe it or not, I love them. This and milk obviously

34. Have you ever fired a gun? No

35. Have you ever tried archery? Neither

36. Favorite clean word? Geez ? Dunno

37. Favorite swear word? Fuck, I’m saying this a lot and also, in Quebec there’s some swear words that came from religion - which I say them a lot too

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 1 complete day I guess

39. Do you have any scars? Yep, on my arms

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Nop, who would be a secret admirer for a loser like me ? x)

41. Are you a good liar? Nop that’s why I never lie

42. Are you a good judge of character? Not really

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? English accent and french accent (because french from France And from Quebec have different accents)

44. Do you have a strong accent? Not really

45. What is your favorite accent? British accent didndkdnnd

46. What is your personality type? Mine ? Would say a really nervous but acts like a chill person every time, never sleeps, always do puns and not funny jokes and ... I’m tomboy.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Oh- would say shoes for running for now

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yep

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie

50. Left or right handed? Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? Nop !! I love them, I want a tarantula when I’ll be older

52. Favorite food? Sushis and shrimps

53. Favorite foreign food? Hmmm dunno

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Messy

55. Most used phrased? ‘’Aw shit, here we go again’’

56. Most used word? Geez, shit, aw, oh, welp, heh.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Not too long, I don’t put makeup or anything, just anything baggy and then we’re outta here

58. Do you have much of an ego? Nop, actually, I don’t have one at all xd

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? ... definitely weird questions for people like me but I suck.

60. Do you talk to yourself? When I’m angry xd

61. Do you sing to yourself? Nop

62. Are you a good singer? Dunno, it’s not too bad but not great either

63. Biggest Fear? Hmm height

64. Are you a gossip? Nah

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Don’t like drama :v

66. Do you like long or short hair? For me I prefer short hair, but I like both for the others

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? No but I can tell you a part of the book 50 shades of- *my friend slaps my head* ow

68. Favorite school subject? English and music

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nop and will probably never

71. What makes you nervous? People coming into my room without permissions, people talking shit about me, my dad, but nothing else x)

72. Are you scared of the dark? Nop

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I do it just to be funny when I know it’s in a good time to do it, but never for anything else

74. Are you ticklish? Yes, really

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Nop and would never. I had a lot of rumors about me in my old school and it’s definitely not pleasant so I’ll never do that

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Nop

77. Have you ever drank underage? Yes - a - lot. Sorry :’v

78. Have you ever done drugs? Nop and would never

79. Who was your first real crush? Huh... real crush ? I had small crushes but never real ones... except Bakugo.. *cough* sorry

80. How many piercings do you have? Only on my ears and never put earrings ah

81. Can you roll your Rs?“ Nah

82. How fast can you type? Pretty fast

83. How fast can you run? Not fast

84. What color is your hair? Blond, naturally blond (hate that color tho.)

85. What color is your eyes? Blue

86. What are you allergic to? Nothing right now

87. Do you keep a journal? Nop

88. What do your parents do? Right now they fight, but huh. Nothing

Oh- jobs, idk

89. Do you like your age? I’ll be in paradise once I’ll be in 15, since I’ll finally start my driving lessons

90. What makes you angry? People not accepting the others and being close minded (my dad most)

91. Do you like your own name? No, I would like an unisex one like Max

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Huuuh, don’t want kids. But it would be Maxine for a girl and Jay/Jeff for a guy

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Doesn’t matter, as long as they’re my kid right ?

94. What are you strengths? Hmm, dunno, would be my endurance ?

95. What are your weaknesses? Social skills lmao

96. How did you get your name? ?? My parents - oh

For my user I just took Tooth put an sy to make it look ‘cute’, I’m sure it’s not tho

97. Were your ancestors royalty? Don’t think so

98. Do you have any scars? Yes... I think it was already asked ? On my arms.

99. Color of your bedspread? Blue

100. Color of your room? White walls

——————-

Anyway, hope you like it uwu

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itsthekidchameleon-blog · 5 years

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Gronk’s Basement Week 1/2 Recap

WHAT IS UP fellas. Alright so here’s the deal. ESPN ruined it’s platform and I’ve been forced to find a new method for posts. Super unhappy about it. For however many years I’ve been working the same shitty platform, trying to be funny, and it’s worked to some degree. I am all out of sorts now and I am going to try something new. The new platform won’t even allow you to post a video or a link. I think this tumblr is something the kids are using these days so I am giving it a shot. Seems pretty sweet so far. No idea if it will work but let’s give it a whirl.

Before I get into the action, I would like to start off by ranking the 2019 team names. If you did not change the name of your team, you tied for last and I hate you.

KT, Tuck, Ease, Macero, Pickett, hate you all, change your team names.

Tight End Luvr 87 - God I miss Gronk.

Purple Cobras - Doug went with a classic movie team name and I don’t hate it. Doug I hope you walk into every NFL Sunday watching location doing this:

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Gronk’s Nation Can’t Hang at CF - Steve, I have absolutely NO fucking clue what is happening here. First, this isn’t Gronk’s Nation, it’s the damn basement. Second, CF? CrossFit? Cumberland Farms? Central Falls? Where you going with this name? Need some explanation, please elaborate.

Nuts on the Table - Great name, if this was 2018. Get a new thing Jmart. Also we all know there’s not enough room on the table for your giant disgusting nuts because you already filled the table with 48 empty beer cans.

Devil Without a Koz - DIGGING THIS ONE! A great reference to a timeless classic by Kid Rock. Is it also a nod to the big G-O-D for welcoming Koz into the family? Now that Koz is Jew-no-more, he’s throwing his Kippah in the air, praising the big guy upstairs and shunning the Devil. Koz, little tip from a lifetime Catholic: You only need to go to church once a year (or just tell people you do) and as long as you donate a little money when you do, you’ll get into heaven. Don’t buy into the every Sunday going to church hoopla.

The Vaginas - Honestly do not know if I love or hate this one. I will cut Branch some slack, he’s had a lot on his plate lately so a new team name was probably the least of his worries. So he did the least creative thing he could do and kept his yearly vaginal efforts on par and named his team, The Vaginas. Such a guru move.

Gay Lords - Govey is gay, Lord Jeff’s, all that stuff. Not giving the rest of the league much to say about him here by just admitting to what we’ve been saying all along. I can appreciate the humility here. Well done Gov.

Now I will jump right into the action with some recaps. I may not get to every game due to time/lack of fuck’s to give.

Week 1

**Jmart vs Hurley - **well here we have an ex-roommate battle. For those of you who don’t know, Jmart and I do not live together anymore. He up and moved to San Diego one day, it was the strangest thing. I came home from work one day and all his shit was gone, and all he left was a note on the kitchen table that said he had to go see about a girl.

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At any rate, I refuse to let Lamar Jackson help me to a win for the first time in two weeks (foreshadowing) and started Carson Wentz. Losing Tyreek Hill killed me really. Jmart had a pretty solid outing with 16 points from Steven Gostkowski and 31.6 from the Goat, ultimately beating me by less than 8 points.

Branch vs KT - Well this was an absolute slug fest. Branch had 36.7 from DeSean Watson, Jacobs rumbled for 23.8, and Barkley with 16, but he fell just shy of KT’s performances including 38 from McCaffrey, 33 from Mahomes, and 28.4 from Derrick Henry. KT certainly has some studs on his team and will be a tough out this year. KT notches one in the win column and the GURU one in the W.

Keach vs Koz - This one was not even close. Koz notched his first weekly points prize of $25 throwing up 151.7 with strong performances from Mark Ingram scoring 22.7, his random tight end Mark Andrews who added 20.8, another 30 from Bell and Fournette and Alshon scoring 19.6 to top it off. Keach had strong weeks from Keenan Allen who fucked me all year last year, as well as David Johnson and Emmanuel Sanders, but not too much to show from anyone else including a dud from his kicker.

Govey vs Hammy - Hammy of course took his boy Dak and boy did it pay off as he scored 41.4 week one. Relatively modest weeks from everyone else except Harry Butker who scored 17, Steven racked up 119.6. Govey’s team struggled to get much going with the only notable performances coming from Kamara with 20.4 and Tyrell Williams with 19.5. Look for Govey to make some moves to shake things up!

**Tucker vs Pickett **- Pretty close matchup here with each team having some really down weeks from their QB’s. Cam Newton absolutely is a shell of himself and only scored 5.4 points. Jared Goff struggled across the field from him only gaining 11.4. It was performances from Dalvin Cook and Evan Engram that gave Tuck the win over Pickett here, as Pick’s team struggled to get anything going from anyone but Delanie Walker and Austin Ekeler and Amari Cooper.

Macero vs Easley - Ees, Eeees, I don’t want to butcher your name man is it, Eas-i-lee? Fucking Scal! Anyway this was a low scoring match between one perennial contender and a guy who loves trying to sabotage this league with bad roster moves. Easley’s team got 22.6 from Matty Ice and 15.5 from Damien Williams but not too much from the rest of his NFC dominant team. Macero started Melvin Gordon who doesn’t plan to play till November. I can’t sit here and say it ultimately lost him the game given that although he only lost by 4.5 points, three out of the six options on his bench scored less than that. BUT he did have Sammy Watkins on his bench who scored 42.5 points, but that is what you get when you start players who are not playing.

Thought 1: Fuck I forgot how much work this is.

Thought 2: Really hope this tumblr shit saves and works.

Thought 3: Had a dream last night I was training Carson Wentz in some footwork drills, except he looked like John Mulholland. I love this shit so much I do it in my sleep.

Week 2 - gonna be a bit shorter

Hurley vs Guru - Again, I sat Jackson at QB and it bit me in the ass. Note to self: Start Lamar Jackson. Branch got a modest win with 83.5 points with solid weeks from his Vagina stars Barkley, Brown and Jacobs. My team needs help but I am not panicking yet.

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Branch is 1-0, I am 0′for.

**Keach vs KT - **This one wasn’t very close. Mahomes scored 39.6, Tyler Boyd with 17.2, Derrick Henry with another strong week, KT cruised past Keach who rolled with the Baker Mayfield which net him 17. Honorable mentions: Sanders and Chubb totaling 40 points. Keach falls to 0-2, KT is undefeated.

Jmart vs Koz - Koz, love ya buddy and sorry I couldn’t make it to your bachelor party but I will let you know that if I wasn’t in front of my TV wearing my Gronk jersey the Pats D may not have scored 40, which helped you get another $25 weekly points prize. You’re welcome. This was a slaughtering and Mark Andrews once again showed out with 21.2. Jmart had a decent week with 28.7 from the GOAT but just barely broke the 100 point mark. Koz is 2-0, Jmart 1-1.

Tuck vs Macero - Actually a pretty tight game here. Cam Newton once again sucked, and the 26.6 from Dalvin Cook couldn’t help Tuck’s team past Macero, despite Macero losing Brees early on. A strong showing from Odell on Monday night pushed Macero past Tucker here pushing both teams to 1-1.

Govey vs Pickett - Another blowout as Govey is learning why the ‘stache may not have been such a hot pick after all. 18.4 from Rodgers, 13.1 from Tyrell Williams and 13 from the Houston D and Govey barely broke 90 points. Pickett’s team notched 125.4 behing Julio Jones and Austin Ekeler. Pickett is 1-1, Govey is 0-2.

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im-gonna-liveforever · 5 years

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ITS HECKIN TWISTED APPRECIATION WEEK SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS (part 1/2)

“YEAH THAT’S RIGHT I’M GONNA YELL ABOUT THE SOUNDTRACK LIKE I DID LAST WEEK BC TWISTED IS A GOOD HECKING MUSICAL WITH A GOOD HECKING SOUNDTRACK

(Now with favorite lines! bc why not, right?) (favorite lines either there bc I like the lyrics in that part or I really like how it sounds within the song)

I’m not a professional music person (I’ve been in band for several years and I’m pretty good, but I don’t know anything about music theory or anything abt singing) but AH WELL, I LIKE RANTING ABT MY SPECIAL INTERESTS AND THE INTERNET IS A GOOD PLACE TO FEEL LIKE I’M TALKING TO SOMEONE, SO HERE WE GO

(also there’s definitely going to be Twisted spoilers under the cut (for act one, at least), so watch out if you haven't seen it)

(also also I split this into two parts bc it’s getting late and as you can see by how this progresses, I got sleep deprived quickly plus it got way too long. This is part one with all the first act songs, part two will have the second act songs and should be up by tomorrow.)

OK THE OPENING NUMBER RIGHT?? THE INSTRUMENTALS?? THE HARMONIES??? THE GENERAL SAJKFDASJKFHDSJK???!?!? Like, it literally sounds like a Disney song but they cuss! It’s amazing!! (And all the citizens?? Comedy gold, every one of them, I swear) (AND THE FUCKINGJDSJKJDSKL SOPRANO PART???!? I’M C R Y I N G I FORGOT WHAT HER NAME WAS BUT SHES SUCH A GOOD SINGER THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE)

Favorite lines:

“May the Rats ejaculate upon you!” “Thank you, thank you very much!”

“Why is everyone in the kingdom white?” “Uhh... Jafar?”

“But ugliness permits a man to use his wits, ‘cause pretty people never have to try”

“UGLY OLD JAFAR!!”

pretty much the whole song past the line “Why am I the only one who sees things as they are?”

Specifically “I want to be a cat!” “Wha-” “FUCK YOU!”

But more specially “Whistle while you swallow a spoonful of sugar and your dreams will come true upon a star!!!!” bc OH MY GOD IT’S BEAUTIFUL

Everyone listing how they want Jafar to die

ALSO SPECIALLY THE LAST 30 SECONDS BC AHJSAHJKADS (everything at and past the lines “and if we dream a little harder/ our patience and our honor...” etc.)

OK I STEAL EVERYTHING TIME! ULTIMATE CHAOS SONG, AND I LOVE. BE THE EVIL GREMLIN YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. Also: the jazziness?? the opening instrumentals??? it’s so good. To the people playing the instrumentals for this musical: ,,,thank you,,,.,. (Also I learned recently that most of Jeff’s songs are in my range so guess who’s gonna try and learn this song?)

Favorite lines:

“Fetch, ya fucks!”

Did I mention the instrumentals?? bc hfhhhjdklsajk They seem simple but they’re also going ham and I love it

“Monkey thought we should just kill you, but I said ‘No, monkey, that’s crazy’ but now I’m thinking, yeah, no more fucking raisins...’“

“Thanks but no, thanks, ‘The Man’“

Honestly every line in this is golden, but I can’t put them all in and that sucks

“You’re only in trouble if you get caught!” “Aladdin?” “I’m in trouble!”

“Just one question, why, man?” “’Cause you stole my daughter’s hymen!” “That’s completely fair, but, in my defense, dude, your daughter’s hot!”

EVERYTHING AND MOOREE!!! SHE WANTS IT ALL AND I’M CRYING BC SHE SOUNDS BEAUTIFUL WHILE DOING SO. (I just realized that there’s 14 songs on this soundtrack and I’m sorry in advance for how long this post A) already is and B) is going to get) This song is so dramatic and that somehow fits the mood of her character and I love it so much and just ahdshjkds. Also it’s just?? So pretty????

Favorite lines:

“But it’s just like, whatever”

“I just want to be free so badly! You slaves could never understand. :(”

“You’re probably thinking, she’s got everything. Well, it’s true, ‘cause I do, but so the fuck what?”

“I WANT THE MOON! I WANT TO LIVE ON THE MOON! And eat it in a pie! And keep it as a pet! and wear it like a gemstone in my hair!”

“As I laugh in their faces of moonbeam pie!!”

“It’s enough to make me with I were lowly and poor... But like... with money!”

THA GOLDEN FUCJKLCIODIGN RULE. LIKE HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. AND THE DANCING THEY DO WITH IT IN THE SHOW ITSELF??? IT’S THE BEST. THE FIUCUING BEST. I’M CRYING. THE DANCING IS SO GOOD. AND SO IS THIS SONG. Also, it’s the #1 Starkid song I’d be comfortable showing to my mom, which is a definite plus! (I could also show this to my church pastor and he’d?? definitely like it, so that’s also a definite plus) And everyone’s so nice to Jafar, espically compared to the opening number and it just makes me so sad and let me give Jafar a hug, goddammit. ALSO also please let me meet the saxophone player and shake his hand, I don’t play saxophone but what he’s doing here is amazing. WAIT ALSO ALSO ALSO MAY I MEET THAT FLUTE PLAYER BC I’M JUST NOW HEARING THE FLUTE (AND HOW DID I NOT NOTICE IT BEFORE, I PLAY THAT INSTRUMENT???) AND I’M FUCJKIGDFONG HOLY SHIT JSUT FUCKINGJDSJKL ;BOUNCE AROUND ON THOSE NOTES WHY DON’T YOU I’M SAJDSKCDSJS

Favorite lines:

“Why it’s as easy as a 1,2,3,4!”

“Always treat others like sisters and brothers!”

all of the lines just sound so good, I can’t choose

The way Dylan Saunders says “Man” that that first time, like holy shit

The whole conversation between Omar and the thief

[completely monotone] “My hunger blinded me and forced me to act like an animal.”

AND THEN OMAR AND THE THIEF SING THE PART AND IT SOUNDS SO GOOD

The “boop boop bop doop zeep do-wow!” in the background during that part

“Good luck Jafar! And! Re! Mem! Ber!”

And then the whole ensemble sings it and it sounds so good

oh good god we’re not even 5 songs in yet i’m so sorry

GOLDEN RULE: EVIL REPRISE, OR, AS I CALL IT, “GOLDEN RULE WENT EMO BUT I STILL LOVE AND SUPPORT THEM”. Those dissonant sounds at the beginning? beautiful. All the random evil laughter? amazing. Whatever the heck the saxophonist is doing at the end? breathtaking, give me more. Joe Walker’s voice?? just fucking dhdsfjkfdlashjdsfklhfdsjkl

Favorite lines:

“Lets him rule the land WITH an iron fist!”

“The prize for winning? MORE GOLD, HAHA! And the game begins again!”

[sarcastically] “’Follow the golden rule’? Boy don’t be such a fool!”

“Follow the gold! Follow the gold! Follow the gold!” “AND RUUULE!!”

DID I MENTION THAT FUCKING SAXOPHONE PLAYER BC DUDE FUCKING AHSDJKDFS

the final “And Rule!”

Don’t be fooled bc this one is so short, it’s nearing midnight for me and also this song is really short. In reality, I fucking love this song and it’s one of my absolute favorite starkid villain songs and also one of my absolute favorites from this musical.

A THOUSAND AND ONE NIGHTS IS SOME FUCKINGNDSKLJ; GOOD SHIT I’M. Also, I don’t listen to it enough, so I’m giving y’all a running commentary as I listen to it for the first time outside of watching the whole musical 1) I love accidentals and key changes, and i’m,,, crying just the first verse is so good already, why haven’t I listened to this song enough 2) I’M CRYING I WANT TO KNOW THEIR STORY TOO THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS I’M CRYINGHJFDSJKSD 3) they keep using the word “’twist” and i’m ahsdhjkds bro 4) DYLAN YOUR VOICE. YOUR VOICE, IT’S TOO GOOD. IT MUST BE STOPPED, YOU’RE TOO GOOD, DYLAN 5) “LINGER OVER EVERY PART” OH MAN IT SOUDNS SO GOOD. SO GOOD. AHHHHHHDSHJDSFKLHJK 6) OK I’M LIKE ACTUALLY CRYINGN NOW THEY’RE IN LOVE. THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS. OH GOD OH FUCK 7) AND THEY SOUND SO GOOD, TOO, WHY HAVEN’T I LISTENED TO THIS SONG ENOUGH AHDHJKLDAS

OK I haven’t listened to this song enough to have favorite lines just yet, also I want to at least get to the end of the first act before I go to bed and it’s already midnight rn, so we’re going ahead and moving on (so sorry!)

IF I BE-FUCKIN-LIEVED. OH GOD. THIS ONE. THIS ONE IS SO GOOD. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. THE FLUTE, THE WORDS, THE SINGING LIKE GODDAMN. This one is also kinda within my range so I’m also trying to learn to sing it bc it’s just that good (cons of being a contralto: you get no female songs in musicals, pros of being a contralto: you get all the cool higher tenor songs) The raw emotion in his voice??? I’m crying??? The strength and soul and beauty and just ashjdskl;jdsfkl; it’s so, so beautifully and wonderfully amazing

Favorite lines:

“Science says you’re dead and gone forever! Reason says I’m talking to the air! But something in my heart, some secret, hidden part, illogically insists that you are there! Somewhere!!”

“Perhaps it’s not too late, to change the course of fate?”

“‘Cause after all, I must be pretty great... if you believed in me...”

Again this song is really short and there’s not a lot of lines to choose from and also I love them all and dfhjskdskjl this is just such a good song

I’m still crying

ORPHANED AT 33!!! [insert Peggle 2 gif] CHAOS... T W O!!!! HE’S MR ORPHAN, AKA CHAOS MAN (NOW WITH A MUSICAL NUMBER!) (I’m also trying to learn this one bc let me splurge in trying to teach myself Twisted songs, ok?) He’s being tragic and over-dramatic and it’s a beautiful song! and I also love how in the studio version, he doesn’t mention that they died earlier that year, so it almost comes as a shock when he says “when I was orphaned at... thirty-three” and it just makes the song that much funnier, trust me

Favorite lines:

I know I said this abt most of the other songs up to this point, but can I say all the lines? because all the lines

“[My parents are] dead... that makes me an orphan :’(”

“‘Cause my story’s just too saaad!”

“They call me a jerk off! a burn-out! A punk! But I can’t let that stuff in my head!”

“All things considered, I think I turned out pretty good! I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and started s t e a l i n g a l l I c o u l d!”

”I’ll make it through somehow, despite being so sadly and crushingly all alone...”

“I’ll BREAK THE CHAIN!! YOU’LL SEE!!! I’M GONNA L I V E F O R E V E R!!!!1!111!”

The last “thirty-three” bc Jeff oh my god what is that voice

HAPPY ENDING TIME, HECK YEAH!!!!! THIS SONG,,,, SO, SO GOOD, I’M A FUCKING SUCKER FOR SONGS WITH MORE THAN ONE PART THAT ALL END TOGETHER IN A HARMONY. THAT IS PEAK MUSICIANSHIP AND JUSTHSDHJFKSAD Also someone pointed this out to me, but the way to goes from Aladdin’s weirdly horny lines straight to the princess going “oh Aladdin, you poor, innocent soul :(” is just the funniest thing to me. And how it calls back to thier own solos, I’m???!? OH AND INSTRUMENTALS AGAIN. THE BAND FUCKING KILLED IT WITH THIS MUSICAL, IT’S SO, SO GOOD JUST AHDSJKLAKKFAnd the energy in it?? The excitement for the next act??? I’m pumped!! Are you pumped?? WELL GET READY BC YOU WILL BE

Favorite lines:

Yet a-fucking-gain I love every goshdarn line in this song, it’s just too good

“They’ll throw a parade in my honor, with peacocks and monkeys galore!”

“The people will cheer!” [cool guitar bit]

[Jafar’s relatively calm part ends] [electric guitar starts back up and Aladdin jumps on stage] “I CaN’T wAiT tO bE A RicH DUdE!!!11!1!″

“Stealing is so much easier when you’ve already got tons of gold!”

“I’ve got my eye! On what money can’t buy! ‘cause that princess is OH! Hella tight! I’ll be the one who plunders her cave of wonders! I’ll get my happy ending tonight!”

“My innocent Aladdin!”

Yes i’m fully aware I put pretty much Aladdin’s full part in there, stop judging me, it’s a good part

“It puts a damper on our love if you don’t have a head”

“So with with your permission, I’d like to bring back your bride!”

just. Jafar’s whole fantasy where he’s happy with his wife. I’m crying again, please just let him be happy

THE ENDING PART WHERE THEY ALL START UP AND BRING UP THIER OWN HOPES FOR THAT NIGHT AND THEY SING THE FINAL”TONIGHT!!!” ALL TOGETHER AND THEN THERE’S THAT COOL LITTLE 2 SECOND INSTRUMENTAL BIT AT THE VERY END IT’S JUST,.,, SO GOOD I’M DSJHDASHJKSDJK

Ok yeah that’s the end of the first act of songs! I should have the next part up by tomorrow, so get ready for more capslock and keysmashes and me generally being excited abt music bc MUSIC HECK YEAH DFFHADSJKHDAS

#twisted #twisted musical #starkid twisted #twisted starkid #starkid rewind #music #i love each and every song on this playlist and if you asked me to choose a favorite I'd black out for at least 2 days trying to decide #honestly tho these songs are so good #twisted soundtrack #musicals #musicals soundtrack

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x-squishy-mushroom-x · 5 years

Note

20 and 29 pwease uwu!!!

im assuming for teh music asks!! x3

20: A song that has many meanings to you

Demolition Lovers - mcr

it remindz me of when i first got with my bf in February x33

we drove to pizza hut n i was REALLY dressed emo >w

however it also remindz me of a rough time in summer 2015 i haz with my family n ex. i used to only play bulletz bc it helped me feel okai. later on from that i had a HUGE mcr phase in my last year of school. during my examz dis was my shiz with youll rebel to anything by msi!!

29: A song that you remember from your childhood

why not a few!

dance your love away - Micheal prince

as a kid i often got the words wrong in songs >w

i was convinced “dance your love away” was “ketchup away” n one time in pe, i remember so vividly i had this pale pink barbie shirt on they said they were gonna play the ketchup song me and my childhood stupidity was HYPED for 80s dancey pop to start blasting. but no, it was the fucking ketchup song XD i was so angry poor 5 year old kirsty

video - jeff lynne (electric dreams ost)

little me also absolutely ADORED the electric dreams soundtrack! i still do to dis day, however video and let it run were and still are my favourites, to the point i was like 6ish and i was blasting the songs and singing my heart out. my dad snook in and videoed me, to this day i still cant get away from this memory XD

John Farnham - You're the Voice

GOD THIS WAS A NIGHTMARE TO FIND BC I FORGOT THE NAME OF IT ;-;

howeva dis reminds me of me and my family driving down to the isle of wight!! it took around 6 hours and i was OBSESSED with my ds, i must of been around 7. i remember getting my harvest moon ds game for my birthday a couple months before, to this day i ADORE this game. however i got my horse in game when this song was on ^^;.

thank u @lost-aliien

#asks #lost-aliien

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captaindboss · 6 years

Text

captaindboss’ Hottest NHL Players Survey Responses

I’m demonkonecny bc it’s halloween!!! Happy Halloween!!! Anyway I’m finally posting the results of my hottest players per team survey, (it’s closed now so u can’t take it anymore, sorry) which included ur fav ugly hots like jack eichel and connor mcdavid. Y’all had some colorful write-in responses for me, I included my favorites! Anyway, as not to clog dashes I put it under a read more. If you have questions about how I compiled this data or how I organized it, feel free to ask! Also some of y’all didn’t put an answer for like half the teams???? who raised you.

Montreal Canadians

Carey Price (55.02%--126 of 229 votes)

Jonathan Drouin (23.58%--54 of 229 votes)

Shea Weber (13.10%--30 of 229 votes)

Other* (8.30%--19 of 229 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“PK Subban...oh wait...Lars Eller... Oh wait...Drouin...oh wait...Alex Galchenyuk...oh wait shit fine Shea Weber”

“Everyone who has escaped”

“their ‘attitude problem’“

Boston Bruins

Brandon Carlo (30.26%--69(lol) of 228 votes)

Patrice Bergeron (Cause y’all would kill me if I didn’t put him) (29.82%--68 of 228 votes)

David Pastrnak (yum i lov carb) (25.88%--59 of 228 votes)

Other* (14.04%--32 of 228 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

[About Carlo] “He’s a baby but also like has an ageless vampire quality which appeals to my ovaries, long conditioned by teen vampire novels”

“Brad Marchand's tongue (only the tongue)” [this ain’t it chief]

“I love my alien father tuukka rask” [r u ok]

Bonus, cause I’m weak:

“no one THINKS pasta is hot COME ON i hate us” [it’s okay, he is VERY hot, that’s why I put him lmao]

“Zdeno chara babey” [R U OK]

Bl*ckh*wks

Girl as if (44.80%--99 of 221 votes)

Jonathan Toews (22.62%--50 of 221 votes)

If you put pk*ne here i’ll come to your house and murder you*^/other (17.65%--39 of 221 votes)

hahahahaHAHAHA (14.93%--33 of 221 votes)

*= tie between Nick Schmaltz and John Hayden.

^= 3 people want me to come to their houses and murder them, unfortunately it’s still illegal to do so, therefore I will not be doing that.

Write-ins

“toews player portrait makes him look like a human condom”

“i live in chicago and am willing to take 1 for the team and take out k*ne”

“Bitch you funny but also Alex Debrincat”

New York Rangers

Brady Skjei (46.32%--107 of 231 votes)

Henrik Lundqvist duh (31.17%--72 of 231 votes)

Brett Howden is the right answer despite not being on the roster yet^ (11.69% (lol)--27 of 231 votes)

Other* (10.82%--25 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

^= funny enough, like 2 days after I made this Brett made the final cut lmao.

Write-ins

“Chris Kreider (have you seen the golf pic???) [LMFAO yeah I have (it’s probably too NSFW if ur in public fyi if u wanna google it)]

“i'm horny for like half the gd rangers roster!!!!” [lol girl I know, y’all actually have a few cuties I was a lil shocked]

“this is a hot team too bad they suck”

Toronto Maple Leafs

Y’all are demons okay Nikita Zaitsev is a fuckin gem idk why I was surprised about this but I was lmao.

Other* (39.37%--87 of 221 votes) [just know that I hate u all :/]

William Nylander (25.79%--57 of 221 votes)

Nazem Kadri (24.89%--55 of 221 votes)

Nikita Zaitsev (9.95%--22 of 221 votes)

*= Freddie Andersen.

Write-ins

“william nylander isn't a leaf, firstable, and second it's motch murner” [sjdhkdlsjdj everything about this]

“i'm putting rich clune even tho he's on the marlies. SOMETIMES HE COMES UP. he could benchpress ever leaf on the roster.” [ur valid, when u sent this I was like “FUCK they’re right.”]

“None they look like 25 year olds who smoke crack in the parking lot” [this is low-key mean but I still laughed, cause yeah, white dudes. But I’m not condoning drug abuse or jokes about drug abuse, as this person had no intention of doing, I’m sure. Just wanted to put that because I know some people might be concerned.]

Bonus, again, weak:

"Jxhn Txvxrxs” [jhkhfoij why did u censor his name sis??]

“nobody’s attractive on the leafs” [this isn’t true but I’m petty and it’s funny.]

Detroit Red Wings

I was so fucking offended by some of the dylan larkin SLANDER up in these write-ins, y’all can come to my house and fight me thx.

Dylan Larkin (48.23%--109 of 226 votes)

Henrik Zetterberg (im crying) (31.42%--71(CRYING) of 226 votes)

Other* (11.95%--27 of 226 votes)

Andreas Athanasiou (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= 12 votes for “No one/Not Dylan Larkin” (yall r annoying lmfao), 10 votes for Filip Zadina (he’s a CHILD how dare u)

Write-Ins

“Luke glen denting is hot look at his arms and he’s not too old for ME” [girl when I tell u this shit killed me, I mean I SQUAWKED a laugh out and sent it to the fps gc, I was DEAD]

“I don't know what any of the red wings look like and it's probably better that way” [????????????????]

“ion know anyone on the wings except zadina and he scored a gwg against the bruins yesterday so my answer for this one is none 😤😤” [(this was in reference to a pre-season game) lmao sis yall are okay. it was yalls babies against our roster players, I would have offed myself had the outcome been any different lmao]

Bonus

“Does anyone actually play for the red wings” [no]

“filip "thot" zadina” [don’t....]

Los Angeles Kings

The only right answer is Alec Martinez (41.56%--96 of 231 votes)

Adrian Kempe (38.10%--88 of 231 votes)

Anze Kopitar (12.12%--28 of 231 votes)

Other* (8.23%--19 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“jeff carter would snort a line of coke with gritty” [uhhhhh WHAT]

“uhh wayne gretzky...” [jvfluhddsf sis...]

“I couldn't name anyone on this team if you PAID ME” [fjldfdhfh god I wish that were me, sorry annie u know I joke....]

Philadelphia Flyers

Claude Giroux (44.78%--103 of 230 votes)

Travis Konecny (HAHAHAHAHA that’s my ugly hot gremlin) (24.78%--57 of 230 votes

Other* (22.17%--51 of 230 votes

Wayne Simmonds (8.26%--19 of 230 votes)

*= Nolan Patrick is apparently who y’all think is the 3rd hottest flyer, even tho he Looks Like That rn lmao. fuckin’ lettuce head.

Write-ins

“Gritty's googly eyes are the windows to the soul”

“andrea helfrich” [ur right]

“tk, because country boy i LOVE you 😛”

Bonus

“hey don't make threats abt gritty like that” [I put “if you put gritty i’ll block you”]

“My hellspawn son [Gritty,] is beautiful can’t believe Voracek and G had a son tho” [HDKUHEDKJFHD BITCH]

Pittsburgh Penguins :(

Kris Letang (55.17%--128 of 232 votes)

Other* (19.40%--45 of 232 votes)

Not Sidney Crosby [this is the option for Sidney Crosby] (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Tristan Jarry (8.62%--20 of 232 votes

*= different variations of “none” won but only by one vote, the person right behind was Jamie Oleksiak.

Write-ins

“the penguins roster came into my home and killed my entire family, but jamie oleksiak is 6'7" 255 lbs of A Man” [NDKFHSJRFDRBSKRFH valid]

“no penguin has ever been hot. As soon as they put on the jersey the hotness evaporates. Tragic.” [wow look at all that truth right there]

“as a heterosexual i chose letang, and as a flyers fan i choose the penguin mascot” [lmao girl letang is not the answer either]

St. Louis Blues

Colton Parayko (67.11%--151 of 225 votes)

Alex Pietrangelo (17.33%--39 of 225 votes)

Other* (8%--18 of 225 votes)

Ryan O’Reilly (7.56%--17 of 225 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“this [’other’] box shouldn’t exist there are no valid arguments against the angel colton parayko” [tru, but the blues have other hotties so I made the box to be fair to those of us who don’t like Big Blonde Sexies]

“uh valid i guess? idk any of the blues lmao” [LMAOOO I think they meant Vladdy, but “valid” cracked me up]

“ROR can lay me down” [ur so valid lmao]

Buffalo Sabres

Jeff Skinner (60.18%--136 of 226 votes)

Rasmus Ristolainen (17.26%--39 of 226 votes)

Other* (14.16%--32 of 226 votes)

Jack Eichel (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. [Y’all big mad that I put Skinner on here. HE’S HOT!]

Write-ins

“Idk but not these lmao” [*instert that gif of the kardashians like “DON’T BE FUCKING RUDE”*]

“Why is Jeff Skinner an option he looks 12″ [who else tho sis. I looked at the roster!]

“If anyone says eichel i will come to their house and steal their toothbrushes. Its conor sheary.” [I took my own survey and picked Eichs but I still have my toothbrush so I guess......... I’m right.]

Bonus:

“Rasmus Ristolainen kinda looks like a creepy half-alive Ken doll, but I'll stand by my choice. Hire an exorcist.” [JDFKHRFWEH GIRL]

“They lost their only cute player when O’Reilly got traded sorry” [boom. roasted]

Vancouver Canucks

Brock Boeser (67.56%--152 of 225 votes)

Other* (13.78%--31 of 225 votes)

Jake Virtanen (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

Ben Hutton (6.22%--14 of 225 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[about Jake Virtanen] all that ass...........” [sjdkfhdkfhdkhfi yeah]

“the city of vancouver” [?????????????????????]

“I keep forgetting that the canucks actually exist” [I’m reasonably sure this is annie lmfao]

Bonus

“I don’t know how any of this team looks either” [idk if I follow Nucks blogs or what but how do u not know Boeser???]

“i don't care enough about this team to even attempt to answer” [this is my brain @ me on the last 5 questions of an exam]

New York Islanders

Mat Barzal (67.69%--155 of 229 votes)

Tito Beauvillier (14.85%--34 of 229 votes)

Jordan Eberle (10.48%--24 of 229 votes)

Other* (6.99%--16 of 229 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“you say put full names but then u go and say tito??” [LISTEN I was tired at this point and forgot that I was trying to be at least a little bit professional about my thirst survey alright? yeesh]

“Its Matt Martin my dude” [LMAO u funny]

“idk how anyone pays attention to mat when tito is always there looking better barzal looks like every attractive jock ive ever met and i dont trust that”

Calgary Flames

Noah Hanifin (37.95%--85 of 224 votes)

Elias Lindholm (32.59%--73 of 224 votes)

Matthew Tkachuk (20.54%--46 of 224 votes)

Other* (8.93%--20 of 224 votes)

*= Sean Monahan wins 4th hottest.

Write-ins

“[Hanifin] looks like the bad guy in a teen movie. the guy the Main Girl is dating in the beginning but is a real dick to her. you look at him and you KNOW he has a trust fund and votes republican. god he's so hot though” [hanny......... yeah.... yeah....]

“Why do I find Tkachuk attractive? I don't know but I love him” [me too]

“James 'The Real Deal' Neal” [lol I got this answer multiple times]

Washington Capitals

Tom Wilson (31.33%--73 of 233 votes)

Andre Burakovsky (29.18--68 of 233 votes)

Braden Holtby (24.03%--56 of 233 votes)

Other* (15.45%--36 of 233 votes)

*= Michal Kempny and Nicklas Backstrom tied for fourth hottest.

Write-ins

“literally no one, i s2g if i see anyone say ovi is attractive..... jfc god help them” [.... but ovi is dad-hot, also he got 3 votes]

“YOUR STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS! Everyone btw just a hot team of hot ugly men and Tom Wilson” [kskdjskdjksks]

“my sweaty swedish sweetheart; Nicklas Backstrom” [I’m too illiterate to read this right the first time thru lol]

Colorado Avalanche

Gabe Landeskog ( 55.95%--127 of 227 votes)

Other* (22.47%--51 of 227 votes)

Erik “Horsegirl” Johnson (14.1%--32 of 227 votes)

Mikko Rantanen (7.49%--17 of 227 votes)

*= Tyson Barrie won by more than double of all the other write-ins, but honorable mentions go to Nate MacK, Colin Wilson, Tyson Jost, Phillip Grubauer, and The Avs Tumblr People.

Write-ins - I (jokingly) got called bitch so much in these write-ins, y’all feel some type of WAY about this team lmfao.

“but also the tysons. i would buy a whole farm just so those boys could plow me into the ground.” [i’m SCREECHING. this killed me lol]

“only attractive b/c of his proximity to horses? maybe so.” [.... girl what]

Okay, so instead of a third quote, cause I couldn’t pick, I’m gonna put all the other funny EJ comments I was contemplating:

“ej is soooo ugly in the hottest way possible”

“erik "big horny" johnson”

“oh my god Ej was included for once I'm weeping tears of joy”

“What that mouth do EJ?”

New Jersey Devils

Miles Wood (36.12%--82 of 227 votes)

Taylor Hall (33.48%--76 of 227 votes)

Brian Boyle (19.82%--45 of 227 votes)

Other* (10.57%--24 of 227 votes)

*= Nico Hischier with the majority of the write-ins, even tho he’s still a CHILD (under 20).

Write-ins, aka Mostly Taylor Hall Commentary.

“Does Michael McLeod count” [YES girl i love that boy]

“Gucciiiiiii”

“DSL GUCCI”

“Nico Hischier (Taylor Hall I still love you)”

“i chose taylor and i don’t even need a gucci purse”

“If Taylor Hall gave me a Gucci purse I'd vote for him”

“catch me w/ a gucci purse, girl!!!! for real tho miles wood”

Dallas Stars

DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to Katie, she’s fab and I made this survey a month or so ago. If you don’t know what I mean by this--do not ask me, I will delete the message. Thank you!

Tyler Seguin (46.96%--108 of 230 votes)

Katie Hoaldridge (im gay) (35.22%--81 of 230 votes)

Other* (13.91%--32 of 230 votes)

Stephen Johns (3.91%--9 of 230 votes)

*= Jamie Benn.

Write-ins

“tyler seguin has no upper lip” [I screamed, not exaggerating]

“You have to choose [Seguin] but I do so under duress”

“Im gay too” [hell yeah, this is a mlm and wlw friendly survey!]

Edmonton Oilers

Jujhar Khaira (28.57%--64 of 224 votes)

Other* (27.68%--62 of 224 votes)

Contract McMoney (he is hot) (25.89%--58 of 224 votes)

Darnell Nurse (17.86%--40 of 224 votes)

*= Leon Draisaitl won by more than 5 times anyone elses write-in lmao.

Write-ins ft. “The Draisaitl Quotes”

“McMoney’s money- just his money” [lmao ok sammie, HE’S HOT!]

“cannot mcwingames went off in the gq shoot i admit” [*annie voice* OHMYGOD]

“He’s [Khaira] like a romance novel cover like, f me” [tru]

Drai Quotes

“Drai but like lucic cause Momma needs a man that could kill me” [HDGFDHDGFHDH]

“leon dreisetl (is that his name, is this how you spell it?)”

“Leon Draisaitl and his contract that he doesn't deserve” [backhanded compliment lmao]

“the one w the longass name. dry saitl or whatever” [girl. lmfao]

Winnipeg Jets

Jets/laine fans are funny so I’m adding all the funniest ones instead of just 3 or 5. Sorryyyyyy I’m here to entertain.

Blake Wheeler (44.04%--96 of 218 votes)

Mathieu Perreault (but specifically in his newest headshot) (21.56%--47 of 218 votes)

Other* (19.27%--42 of 218 votes)

Connor Hellebuyck (15.14%--33 of 218 votes)

*= Patrik Laine, even tho I said NOT TO, demons.

Write-ins

“Their logo so I can fly away from this stupid team”

“Nobody but I just needed to point out Connor Hellebuyck looks like a stage magician and that is Not Hot” [i respectfully disagree with the last bit but the first parts made me snort]

“I don't know who windy pegg is”

“Boeing 747″ [sjdjsljlshgdu]

“they’re all second to jacob trouba’s dog Donnie”

“Patty Laine, but like, without the demon beard”

“Let me live my life! Laine has a good voice and i have a LANGUAGE KINK!”

“Laine WITH the beard because I don't fear death”

“Sorry, Laine but only with his beard” [I love the halfhearted apology]

“Goatboi”

“ALL HAIL THE GOAT DEVIL”

“laine come at me bitch lol” [denny’s parking lot. 3 am. be there.]

“laine looks like a goat”

“Laine’s Beard”

“LAINE I like the beard but hockey Satan is good to hellebuyck” [I really felt like I was tripping balls while reading all these but, ESPECIALLY this one lmfao]

Arizona Coyotes

Oliver Ekman-Larsson (30.32%--67 of 221 votes)

Jakob Chychrun (28.05%--62 of 221 votes)

Dylan Strome (26.24%--58 of 221 votes)

Other* (15.38%--34 of 221 votes)

*= Alex Galchenyuk, with the majority of the votes.

Write-ins

“pls date me Chych” [annie, that’s my BF!]

“ 🐼 there is no raccoon emoji >:(”

“[Chychrun] [a]lso has a vampire quality but like trust fund baby vampire who has no morals. I’m...into it??”

Honorable mentions: The 2 people who put Biz lmaoooo I love yall.

Carolina Hurricanes

Andrei Svechnikov [he’s a baby but I didn’t know who elseeee] (38.29%--85 of 222 votes)

Haydn Fleury (35.59%--79 of 222 votes)

Other* (15.77%--35 of 222 votes)

Dougie Hamilton (10.36%--23 of 222 votes)

*= Sebastian Aho wins the write-in vote [he ain’t it!]

Write-ins

“Justin Faulk (I’m old so svechnikov is out)” [ugh ur right I didn’t make this more inclusive to people not my age, i’m (genuinely) sorry!!!]

“Formerly Eric ‘the hottest Staal' Staal” [only on the cane’s write-in would I have this happen...]

“[Jordan] staal terrifies me but that's hot” [true!]

San Jose Sharks

Erik Karlsson (70.04%--159 of 227 votes)

Martin Jones (17.62%-- 40 of 227 votes)

Other* (11.01%--25 of 227 votes)

Justin Braun (idk) (1.32%--3 of 227 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“Daddy shark (doo doo doo)” [just so yall know this is, of course, annie, as in anzekopistar, an actual demon, she’s talking about Erik Karlsson :)]

“Brent Burns, you know im right” [are you tho?]

“Okay sometimes I have needs I think Joe Thorton sans beard could fill” [this is why joe shaved. he felt this person in the universe wanting him to, so he did, wow thank u joe]

Ottawa Senators (lol)

Matt Duchene (33.63%--75 of 223 votes)

The entire team (cause they’re a dumpster fire) (30.94%-- 69 [it’s that tkachuk fuckboi energy] of 223 votes)

Other (there are none)* (22.87%--51 of 223 votes)

Spartacat (12.56%--28 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results (because a lot of you took my “there are none” joke a little too seriously and just chose that, no write-in lmao)

Write-ins

“[about Duchene] he's traitorous but it's like that sometimes i guess” [sjdhdjfhkdhf girl it’s okay.]

“.... we're a team“ [i-]

“the senator on their jerseys is p cute ig”

Bonus:

“oh so spartacat is an option but not gritty huh” [LISTEN the flyers are a HOT team, the sens are NOT. that’s why lmao]

“Just based on headshots I’m going with Ben Sexton like also how do you go wrong with that name”

Tampa Bay Lightning

Brayden Point (55.25%--121 of 219 votes)

Other* (22.83%--50 of 219 votes)

Mitchell Stephens (11.87%--26 of 219 votes)

Steve Yzerman (10.05%--22 of 219 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. Although there were a lot of responses none of them added up significantly sooo....

Write-ins

“am i the only one who thinks stevie y was a bit of a twink when he was younger?” [jdhslihdalskdjefh]

“Worst team in the league i hate them and theyre all hideous” [u sure bout that, bud?]

“Stamkos (I love his tiny eyes)” [????]

Florida Panthers

Aaron Ekblad (71.75%--160 of 223 votes)

Aleksander Barkov [r yall ok???] (11.66%--26 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.31%--23 of 223 votes)

Vincent Trocheck (6.28%--14 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“who are the panthers” [sometimes a team is a dog captain, a(n extremely hot) 27-year-old lawyer, and not owen tippett because the panthers hate me specifically]

“Roberto Luongo during Parkland speech” [... valid]

“barkov is literally the only player i know on this team” [shey would be happy to teach u about the panthers!]

Anaheim Ducks

Adam Henrique (52.47%--117 of 223 votes)

No one else (29.6%--66 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.76%--24 of 223 votes)

John Gibson (7.17%--16 of 223 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins-Ducks fans don’t @ me but i’m pretty sure half of these were submitted by y’all anyways....

“if i look @ anyone on the ducks roster for more than 5 seconds i BLACK OUT” [KSHDGJDHSKH Adam tho....]

“Quack Quack go lay your eggs somewhere else you feathered FUCKS” [sjdjfhdjsksj]

“legal 2 say kesler?” [no. go to jail]

Bonus

“Henrique is fine I have no qualms about your selections” [thnk u]

“jared coreau!!! GOOGLE HIM i’m right” [I said this, and we’ve talked, but I need people to know that I, after seeing this, subsequently found out that the Wings didn’t sign coreau back this offszn lmao]

Nashville Predators

Roman Josi (39.39%--91 of 231 votes)

PK Subban (37.66%--87 of 231 votes)

Kevin Fiala (13.42%--31 of 231 votes)

Other* (9.52%--22 of 231 votes)

*= Pekka Rinne for 4th hottest. [My mom loves him for his name lol. she says it’s “fun”]

Write-ins

“pk wears cool hats. I like that in a man”

“I don't find any of them hot (Josi used too be hot and then I learned he was illiterate and now I feel nothing but pity towards him)” [GIRL]

“preds are also ugly. pk subban would be attractive if he werent a pred” [lmao. what’d they do to u ?]

Columbus Blue Jackets

Pierre-Luc Dubois (50.22%--113 of 225 votes)

Zach Werenski (20.44%--46 of 225 votes)

Josh Anderson (16.89%--38 of 225 votes)

Other* (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

*= Alex Wennberg is 4th hottest [lmao]

Write-ins

“Can I put werenskie and Anthony Duclair” [valid]

“Just to be clear CBJ is by far the hottest team exemplified by the fact that you left Seth Jones and Alexander Wenneberg off this list when they're like top 20 in hotness. Also Nick Foligino wins if we include looks and personality.” [I didn’t include them cause this is a mix of hot and ugly hot fam, the avs are 100% the hottest team in the NHL, and that’s coming from me, a Wings fan, destined to hate the Avs for my entire life. Also???? The hotter Foligno is def Marcus lmao]

“[About Werenski] only with the scar though otherwise seth jones” [GIRL scars don’t disappear??? WDYM only with the scar??? Are you a time traveler??? lmfaooo]

Minnesota Wild

J.T. Brown (46.46%--105 of 226 votes)

Other* (21.68%--49 of 226 votes)

Eric Staal (20.80%--47 of 226 votes)

Jason Zucker (11.06%--25 of 226 votes)

*= Charlie Coyle. Honorable mentions to Zach Parise and Matt Dumba.

Write-ins

“Charlie Coyle man! V hot, could kill you, gently waves at babies, 10/10″ [exactly my type! wow]

“ Not JT[,] Lexi is the hottest[,] Eric Staal from a few years ago is also hot” [I added commas to your thing cause.... girl it took me a sec to understand what u were tryna say. But also ur right it’s Lexi.]

“love a #wokebae jt” [yaaas]

FINALLY this legit took me like 10+ hours of work cause I had to transcribe all the info cohesively and then go thru all the responses lmao.

Vegas Golden Knights

William Karlsson (40.52%--94 of 232 votes)

Marc-Andre Fleury (30.60%--71 of 232 votes)

Max Pacioretty (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Other* (12.07%--28 of 232 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[Karlsson] because he looks like young Bill from Mamma Mia” [shfhdjdhf girl]

“fleury isn't hot you absolute monster” [???????? drink ur bitterness tea somewhere else pls]

“let's find out just how wild this boy is” [pftd dtduftdhjfgdjfghdjf]

Bonus/Honorable mentions:

The TWO people who put “colin miller’s eyelashes” lmfaoooo

Alrighty this is The End! If you’d like to see another survey by me let me know in my messages/ask!!! Also sorry for stealing de la Rose from u, habs fans

#pkane tw #arizona coyotes #anaheim ducks #buffalo sabres #boston bruins #calgary flames #detroit red wings #philadelphia flyers #dallas stars #toronto maple leafs #pittsburgh penguins #new york rangers #new york islanders #carolina hurricanes #washington capitals #colorado avalanche #edmonton oilers #winnipeg jets

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