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1tsjusty0u · 30 days

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actually you know what. ganondorf. what can you tell me about him

hehwhwhahahahahahahhhhahahahahahhahHAHAHAHAAHAHQHAHAHAHAHAHA YESS…. YESS!!!!!

ok so. the thing is for the mmain fic? i dont know how he will. fit in. like i have timeloop related ideas which i. need to do eventually. but generally speaking i dont know how to give him a good ending or even how he’ll effect the plot. but also i dont want to ignore him because he is very vital to the plot. honestly i might do a flowey for this in that he interacts sparsely, more to the end of the game. thanks toby fox

BUT ANYWAYS to me ganon really isnt. a twist per say? like with link im making his death be different and the reader is going to have to find out what happened (or immediately Know based on the tags and such and instead of finding out their horror??? only grows i hope because they basically have to watch a guy who they know something bad will happen to. like siffrin in stars and time when you’ve played sasasa). but for ganon his deal is basically almost canon except im highlighting how fucked up it is i guess. we already know hes under the castle, but the devs never expand his motives. so im trying to do that

so. spoilers?? i guess??? also its pure stream of consciousness be warned

ok so firstly totks whole Pre Hyrule thing doesnt exist here. im not doing that. the zonai are non-gods who literally just sailed into the country and happen to know magic. they also dont make the same type of ruins associated with the zonai in totk. their ruins match up much more with the ruins in faron and the animal-esque designs. also theyre extremely vague and none of them become the king. i can draw you some zonais if youd like but the whole zonai thing in totk makes zero sense especially with botw and theres actual contradictory information in this essay i w

because of this rauru and sonia Might exist, but they will be Extremely Different. im not making rauru a zonai if he does exist too, though mineru still might be one just. heavily redesigned. so theres no power struggle to lead to ganondorfs imprisonment- something else is the cause of that.

as to what? i have no idea yet </3. itd probably be similar to the exile of the shekiah when the helped with the calamity, ganon being seen as a threat and something to be exterminated. ganon may not have helped or interacted with the monarchy, but it didnt change what the king and queen viewed of him. though i dont think any prior games or legends “influenced” this- as in they didnt follow any prophecy or something, but they basically ingrained the roles of the past into being completely static if that makes sense. zelda is always the pretty princess with wisdom and powers of the goddess (and hylian), link is always the hero always with the master sword and courage (also always hylian), and ganon? always the oppressor. always the king of evil, king of the gerudo. always a threat. in the same ways these roles hurt zelda and link pre cal, these roles ESPECIALLY hurt ganon, just this time more directly. its almost like how certain laws target marginalized groups and by proxy accidentally hurt literally everyone else. but he was just a “threat to hylia” in some way or form, either due to something or just by existing. or both. but an incident probably lead to his imprisonment. all things considered i should. really work on this..? though thats complicated because if the shekiah just noticed the pattern of the calamity then people would have to deal with two separate events rather than just one, which could work but the “inciting incident” of the 10000 year calamity being beaten is almost null and passed on to another. at that point i might as well do what ive seen other fanfics do before totk came out and wrote about the zonai- grouping them together in the same time period and make the sealing of ganon himself as the person the 10000 year sealing of the calamity. however that wouldnt make sense with the tapestry…unless the tapestry isnt accurate to what happened which Is possible but still why go through all the effort to lie about becoming his calamity form? showing him as not human would fit with how they view him but still they couldve made him look like a monster- like a lynel or his pig forms, not a boar like cloud. so. i almost want to ignore his backstory entirely and only focus on him being well. trapped. i just dont know if this is the right move to make, as much as being trapped under the castle Is a backstory its not really a fleshed out one or one that shows his past connections or who he was as a person. though that does kind of fit with what he is now. uhm so yeah i have no idea im sorry

but to his. not-really-a-backstory backstory. like in totk, hes under the castle. everybody has forgotten this, the rulers being warned about.. Something under the castle, and to not speak of it like zelda says in the intro to totk. theres a locked gate, maybe with some stolen shekiah tech (used by the king/someone when the shekiah were exiled and hunted, getting scrap parts before they were buried) to secure it. or maybe they just like about it being protected by the goddess so no one can open it and because its such an easy lie to check everybody believes it. though i genuinely think its locked extremely well, either with past magic, the triforce when a past zelda or queen had it and sealing ganon was sealing the gate as well, sheikah tech, or something else. i say that because at some point youd think the yiga would literally just walk in if it was a lie. the shekiah tech is a bit dicey because the yiga probably know way more about it than the shekiah (except for purah and robbie), however. i was going to argue they might not actually know that much about the tech which while it would depend on yiga to yiga i feel on some level they could absolutely break into it. (i used to think it was a parallel to botws general amnesia, forgetting their goal of originally helping hyrule, but after reading gboh the possibility of them changing it over time actively is probably a lot better, especially with it adding agency and also them being Rightfully Angry at the monarchy and eliminating those who stand as its biggest supporters? or pawns. and rereading the wiki page for them i cant remember how i thought they “forgot” their goal. ok sorry!! honestly i like to think some sheikah and yiga before being truly separate still made tech in secret, either to prevent something in the future or to help themselves (the sheikah being ok in the rain because of the tech in their outfits.) kind of like a third group that eventually faded out due to amnesia or became a yiga and Remembered. ok anyways) but yeah. on one hand Itd Fit and be such a slap in the face to the sheikah in general, but also the yiga should and probably would know how to break it down. that is if they even know the door exists, and the only reason they dont break into it is because they dont know It Exists because it wasnt built by them and ganon isnt able to communicate with them, or at least communicate with them well. in that scenario they could and Would be able to break down those protections which would actually make sense.

ALRIGHT. under the castle isnt the same as totks under the castle, and while it might…??? be the same one in the Trailer, that would require the zonai which, while they have their own mysterious plotline here (they magiced so hard they ended up in the sky), and theyre absolutely Important, i dont know how important they were in ganons sealing specifically. i like the zonai having some secret involvement of it and i also like having more zonai ruins, but i dont think the royal family would tolerate them At All because theyd also be a threat like the sheikah. they built literal labyrinths and actually know about the triforce more explicitly (the sheikah also seem to, or the ancient sheikah). them casting themselves off into the sky makes sense because who else could do that, But Yeah. theyd have their own documented versions of what they did, and i like to think they were fairly involved in hyrule as a whole. anyways sorry i just need to come up with how he was sealed and how it makes sense. god i used to have hopes and dreams about totk. we couldve gotten a new major god. and yet,

OK ONTO THE ACTUAL. PERSON IN THIS. GANON IM SO SORRY. yeah lets just say hes only Mildly Pissed about being under the castle for 10000 years (<- any words i could use now can not describe the sheer anger and hatred he has. like. its like genuinely wanting to kill someone if that makes sense. besides that being half the literal case, its . ok so you know how in totk the hands let out a shrill scream when they spot you, rushing over to kill you and choke you without thinking? its like that. wanting to make others feel the pain he felt for years and years, with an added touch of genuine hate and wanting to Hurt Someone or see them get hurt). hes being forgotten by everyone- his people the hylians, the shekiah, either people who he used to love or people who actively helped and encouraged his imprisonment, it doesnt matter when they all forget and dont even seem to care. its like he never mattered in the first place, what happened to him just something inconsequential and might as well not exist at all. He might as well not exist at all. but hes awake, rotting and tearing apart down at the bottom of that chamber always awake and always there. he cant move on yet, he needs to get out he needs to get out he has to get out

so!! his main focus is escape!! anyone who dies either had to or isnt something he thinks about. something something a means to an end, if people die so be it. plus if hes going down hea bringing hyrule with him, clawing onto it. he isnt mindless, guardians trying to ravish important locations like the temple of time and the akkala citadel, tactical locations. the malice is more of a by product of the original 100 year calamity, but it serves to help ganon keep and Eye out haha but also block and cover things. i like to think theres malice in guardians and thats why the master sword reacts to them. anyways, in botw he has a butterfly esque cacoon, and a spider like body made of sheikah tech. he was probably building a New Body as his means of escaping. why he made it like that? no idea. he definitely wouldnt live a quiet life once he was out and i think its an accidental by product of wanting to kill people/punish them in a sense. maybe he was going to have two bodies, like mettaton EX where the box body would be in this sense ganondorfs “normal” form where his spider form would be his Kill form.

if he wanted to be king of hyrule, this would probably be why. i dont really think he would, but if he did he’d do it both to punish those who wronged him while making sure what happened to him wont happen again, making sure the hylian royal family is never in a seat of power again. but right now he wants people to pay.

this also ties into him being “a calamity”; as hes trapped under the earth, i think he’d have an effect over it as well. trying to claw his way out from under the earth, parting the dirt in which it looks as if its breathing, sand piling over making sounds described as screams (though in real life its described as singing). in a way hes a part of it, but not by choice. hes the very thing you stand on and yet hes dismissed.

but anyways. hes very mad. link would describe him as “actively wanting me dead” in the timeloop au. his blights are described as screaming in the fic and i like to think thats ganon screaming in rage, pain or both. hes also not green here i should mention that. his form down in the dungeon i like to think has ghouls protruding from it like theyre melting into one and other and are reaching out with their hands, grabbing at whatever they can. hes pretty chill but smug post imprisonment, mostly a quiet cocky. less one for dramatics and rather plays it straight. likes pink and also is a fan of the desert right under spectacle rock. in the timeloop au hes also in the timeloop with link which causes problems. speaking of theyre pretty alike, and wreath would be like him in the timeloop au if he didnt already exist like percy jackson and luke. they could be friends in theory, but their circumstances drove them apart (hey like the wind waker post). hes a big fan of water buffalos, bulls, goats, cats and dogs, and sand sparrows. sand sparrows are his favorite animal in general and almost made it a symbol of the gerudo. id like to associate him with moths thanks to queen gibdo (shes not in this au she doesnt exist here). might actually like spiders as well as other insects. kotake and koume exist here :] . i think some of the gerudo havent forgotten, and thats why the hylia statue is way less in use, though it still being there is an act from the gerudo from the present ish. he likes soft and airy clothes. a lot more regal in the presence of leaders of their respective races- like the king or queen of the zora, the king and queen of the hylians, etc. likes hearty soup but also straight voltfruit juice. doesnt like hydromelons. he and zelda would hate each other, zelda Especially and their anger at each other almost cancels each other out. zelda is Very mad at him. chronic pajama wearer, gets a gerudo clothes person to make regal clothes with the same fabric from pajama clothes. sometimes he sleeps in them but other times he doesnt. big fan of the concept of magic, and likes chuchu jelly a lot. hes more prominent in the timeloop au honestly and im sorry for that. id like to give him an actual arc but well. i dont know how i would do that…….. also i want him to have a happy ending for once but i dont know if thatd work with this story. especially because of him killing the champions. him being an omen would be fitting, but still. him being punished narratively for no reason is stupid if that makes sense. his reason for doing what he did wasnt bad, but what he did by proxy was. i dunno death doesnt feel right for him, at least yet. he was happy though, once

ok sorry if this trailed off its. 5:40 am . i need to eat and sleep

#wreath of the bild #hello #i would stay up. however i am a mere mortal #goodbye for 6ish hours. i . will probably answer things in a more healthy manner next time snorts

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littlemislazywriter · 6 years

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Match Maker Fun

Previous/ Chapter 3 - here Next/

Reader’s P.o.V

The sunlight was beaming through a gap through your dark blue curtains with light blue stars embroidered delicately on them, giving the beam of light perfect accuracy to caress your soft face. With it bringing you into the waking world with a groan, you roll over away from the beam of light telling you to wake up. How dare it tell it’s morning and you need to wake up and start your day. Also, dogs were barking at the neighbours again, or a poor neighbourhood cat. That just happened to be walking by. Sigh. Somedays you love the dogs, other days you wish they would bark a little less. But hey we're good for when the mailman arrived. Good little puppers.

You sigh and reach for your phone to see the time, check social media and other phone things, like scroll endlessly on facebook feed. The time read as 7:26 am.

“That's too early ” You complained to no one but yourself, flopping the phone back down away from you as if it insulted your great ancestors. Which it didn’t but waking up this early after last night? Is a no, And yet, the sun seemed to have different plans for you. To wake you up early at this ungodly hour. As most of the time, you don’t awaken till past 9 am at least. The only time you get up this early is for your job at a small adult retail store. Which honestly wasn’t bad and doesn’t require you to have many hours, but enough to pay rent and eat well enough. Though that may change since you do you want to make a small fund to go back and spend at Grillby’s. So Maybe a few more hours wouldn’t hurt. Nope, it would not.

But you lay on the bed for a few more minutes before you move to grab your phone again from when you flung it across your queen sized bed. Once you once slept in a huge bed such as this, you couldn’t go back to a single bed like the one you use to have, so you got rid of it and exchanged it for this size. Best decision ever made in your opinion. Starfishing all over the show, plus it made you feel small in a good way. Along with other plushies of the like to make it even more inviting and soft, like the giant unicorn plush the same height as you sitting at the end of the bed. It was nice to cuddle on lonely nights or use it as a pillow when you watched Netflix. Second best decision ever. Though it was awkward to carry it home when you got it. But was worth it. Even more worth it seeing those children's faces watching you walk away with the toy of their dreams.

With that in mind, you text your boss, asking if there are any more shifts you could pick up for the next week or so. Cause you never know, Someone might call in sick or be going on holiday somewhere.

While doing that, you check your other messages to see if Ava had any more luck with that dude. Speaking of him you are going to text him. See how things are on his end. It would be a waste of time if he turned out he wasn’t interested. No harm if he did though, You did have a few other guys in mind to set her up with if this didn’t go too well. But still, you thought Harry would be a good choice. :), While your flatmate is last on that list.

From Spoopy, To Harry. “Hey dude, how are things with Ava? She’s a total catch if I say so myself :3” 7:34 am

With that, you quickly hit send before checking on Ava’s unread messages.

From Ava, “Satan's waterfall has arrived, kill me plz. No D for me yet. :C. But we are going to go on a date soon<3 Bless” 2;03 am

Awww yes!. You did well, Though kinda sucks about the period thing... Speaking off if she’s on hers, yours will be soon. Boo. You make a quick note to pick you things you need before typing a reply. While thinking how on earth was she even up that late?

You can barely manage to be awake at 1 am anymore. Curse being an adult and all-nighters being so hard! When you were a teenager it was easy, 2 days without sleep, fine and dandy, happy as happy can be and have the energy to spare! but now? It was like looking into the face of death and probably an unhealthy amount of coffee consumption.

From Spoopy, “Awwwh boooo, Thanks for the reminder though *audible wink* But Yaaaay Get that date, yess gurl! My work here is done *superman pose and flying away into the night* ”

You send the message off, giggling to yourself as you do that pose in person. You just couldn’t help it... You put your phone in the pocket of your shorts and get out of your nest of a bed to get some water at least. Even if it was only a couple of drinks of that wonderful alcohol, water was still an important thing and you needed it. Plus you were hungry for some waffles, you wondered if you had any left, if not can always make some. Even if that was little TMI. But it’s the human body, not much you can do.

You make it the kitchen without much hassle other than your loud door opening. It was always loud, and don't quite fit the door in some places and was snug in others. It was thanks to the wood expanding and shrinking with the change of weather. It annoyed you to no end but at least you knew everytime wanted to come into your room. No one could sneak in… unless it was from the window. The joys of flatting. Not the best place, but was sure as hell was an upgrade from where you last were. So can’t complain.

You greet your flatmate with a sleepy good morning as you stretched, with him being busy on the computer he mumbled a good morning back with him drinking some sort of energy drink as his drink of choice for the mornin’. How he was even awake at this hour, well before you, you were surprised, he is usually still in bed at this hour. You only guess he couldn’t sleep or went to bed earlier last night.

You get yourself a glass and pour yourself some water from the tap. Wondering if you had the effort if you could make waffles yet? Not quite yet. You decide to wait before you make an attempt as you are not fully awake yet.

God, it was pretty good, you never knew how dehydrated you were till now and it was pretty heavenly right now. Water is good. It also makes you question your flatmate's choices. Why wouldn’t he drink H20 was beyond you. Oh well, more for you. Or another reason why he seems so awake is that drink. Maybe you should have that instead to wake you up. Nah. water is still a good option.

“Hey [y/n/n], how was last night, I noticed you got in pretty late,” Your flatmate said, looking up at you from where he sat, looking away from his computer.

He had short curly hair, pale skin and had a big thick build. If anything his chiselled calves tell you anything, also now one of the dogs has curled up by his feet as he typed away. It was little black one, Bella. Though she was quite a bitch when she wanted to be, also a cuddle slut when she wants to be too.

“Oh me? I was just out a new bar, down in ‘new new new home’, was great, they had some pretty great burgers.” You replied, sipping on your glass as you planted your booty on the couch that you had been on the day before.

“Oh, what place was that? Isn’t that where the Monster folk are livin’?” he asked curiously, giving me his full attention. Whatever he was doing on the computer was forgotten for now in exchange of this conversation.

“Oh yeah it was a monster bar, but is also human-friendly too. Should check it out sometime, they have some Hot staff there” You giggled thinking back to that fireman you had met, Grillby was it? Yeah, he was pretty hot. Literary. But hot in other ways too. If he were human he would be a supermodel no doubt. But you wouldn’t be his type not by a long shot. That made you sadden just a bit but shook it off. Least you could enjoy some eye candy. That made you feel less sad.

“Oh, well I just might if it’s good as you say it is, what are the prices like?” he asked again. Man, it was just going to be 20 questions today wasn’t it? And he doesn’t care that it’s a monster bar? That is always a good sign.

“OH, the drinks were pretty cheap compared to other Bars. I mean i only had to pay $15. For only 2 drinks. That is very cheap compared to other bars that charge like 10$ a drink. I’d say I saved myself 5 bucks. Oh and also got a free burger which I have no clue what the price was, but damn it was worth every penny if I were to go and have one again. But eh a new friend shouted me, i think? Either way was on the house.” you reply, looking back at your memories from the previous night. Smiling happily. You would kill to have another burger like that again. You almost start drooling at the thought of it. Soon [y/n] soon. You will have that burger again.

“Oh damn that is sweet, I guess no charge at the door either?”

“Nope, least not when i went, but they probably would for special events.Like most bars would. BUT, That is only an assumption.” you stress the word “ BUT ” because, Well, it was true, you were never charged to go in at the door, anyone could go in and have a drink and some good food. And you can only assume they would for special days or holidays. It what other bars and clubs did and you can only really go off those cause those were the only ones you have been too in the past.

Not to say every bar charges at the door, some don’t but the prices of drinks are just too much to spend on. But hey you found a great bar, that is cheaper and is really welcoming. And also gave you a free burger. That is one way to keep people from going back. It’s just good business. No wonder they can let the drinks go for cheap.

“Damn that is good, I’ll have to check it out sometime” He hummed in thought, now going back to what he was doing on the computer, typing away furiously. You can only assume it was something to do with music as he does, or talking’ to one of the rappers to come and do voice-overs. It was his main hobby after all, after hiking. No wonder he has such good calves. Like, damn son. Maybe you should take up hiking and get those sweet legs like him. Nah. well, Maybe. Who knows. Maybe one day you’ll be brave and venture out and get those calves of your dreams.

Now left alone in your thoughts for a bit you wander back to those sweet memories you made yesterday. Sans was an interesting monster, he still freaks you out a bit, still not over the fact that he is a skeleton. A nice, funny, ketchup loving skeleton. Plus he stopped you from falling, though you are sure half the reason why was because of you holding his arm in a death hold like grip. You were even more surprised how easily he caught you. You were not a light person, sure, but not super heavy either, though “overweight” for your short height. But still. He must be pretty strong to catch you.

He was all bone... So strong bones? He must drink a lot of milk. And is ketchup even that healthy? You pounder. Though Sour cream probably isn’t either yet you still eat that.

But Still, You question where his food even went. Maybe one day you’ll have an answer to your question.

But you didn’t dwell on them on them for very long as your phone sang it’s tune. You finally changed the notification sound, much more pleasant than the last one you had before. No more whistles! No more accidentally calling the dogs to you. You had changed it too “Spooky Scary Skeletons”. Though you couldn’t have it as the full song. You left that for the ringtone. You hoped it wouldn’t bite you in the but later.

Thank you Skeleton monster you meet yesterday for the inspiration and helping you remember that song does indeed exist.

From Ava, “Heeey So I had an Idea >:) ….”

Sans p.o.v ~The morning after~.

Another day on the surface. Another day with the sun shining. Sunlight streaming through his windows, lucky not on his face but, on his back. He could feel the warmth warming up his bones slowly rousing him from his slumber. He liked it. Kept him grounded, that there would be no more resets. No more Snowdin, no more underground. No more murderous Chara.

Though the sun may not have woken him, his brother, Papyrus sure did. “SANS IT’S TIME TO GET UP, YOU LAZY BONES” Papyrus said from behind his locked bedroom door.

“Alright Paps, I’m up,” He said back at the door, though not planning to move just yet. Not like he had work yet. Not for the next few hours, unlike papyrus who probably has to leave in an hour’s time.

He looks at his phone and sees he’s right. One hour till paps Leaves for the day.

“Might as well grab some grub from Pap. Should keep him happy, he thought while staring at the ceiling now.

He lets his thoughts wander back to that young human he met At Grillby’s after he finished work for the day. All he wanted was a nice drink and a good Burger. Not… what ended up happening. His SOUL quietly humming as he recalled what happened… and subconsciously, putting his hand on his chest, just above where the SOUl would be.

┏(＾0＾)┛ ~Flash back time~ ┗(＾0＾) ┓

He approached the bar, like many times before. It was his favourite place in all of the underground and is still his favourite place above ground. It is bigger and has more variety now than what it used to have probably thanks for it having some things for the humans who pop in if they are brave, which was great. But still, it felt the same, smelled the same. Was like a second home.

But he still had his huge tab to pay. Heh. he’ll pay it off one day.

He waited for a second as he waited outside the door, the company inside would have sensed or smelled him by now. Enough time to make his entrance. Even more, so that he usually arrived around this time. That is one thing that probably won’t change if he can help it. Old habits die hard. Even if Papyrus doesn’t like the place much ( more or less because of the ‘unhealthy’ menu), though he won’t admit he does like the place a tiny bit. Though he reckons if Grillby put spaghetti on the menu Papyrus would be more than happy to come around. In saying that he probably wouldn’t leave, or pester poor Gribbly to be the spaghetti chef of the place.

Heh. on second thought, maybe that isn’t such a good idea, though would be amusing.

He walked in seeing his fellow monsters from the underground, if not all in the same spots as before, even though the bar as expanded to have more tables for the growing customers and even a few more love booths. Which was sweet. Even a new jukebox. Man Grillby went all out for this place, though he did miss the broken jukebox, having music for a change was nice too, he thought, as greeted the monsters and patting the oh so fluffy k-9 guard unit. He loved those guys and might one day throw them a bone.

Today is not that day.

When he looked at the bar, seeing an unfamiliar face of a young female human. Must be someone new, I know everyone who comes here. He thought as he approached the bar.

Her eyes seemed to study his for a second. Took him a second to figure out why.

He is a skeleton. And she is a human, they too have skeletons but on the inside. Right must be quite strange. Heh. He thought the same as humans, weird squishy meaty flesh, organs and blood. It was still strange to him. All of that to protect bones?

She did look pretty soft and cute, for a human.

Though she does look young for her age if Grillby served alcohol than she must be old enough. Not that it concerned him what she drank and her age. She was just a human he doesn’t even know, so why did have that thought? He felt his soul hum for second deep with him. It didn’t last long but long enough for him to notice

That was strange. It alarmed him somewhat but he wasn’t going to worry about it. Nope. He just wants his ketchup. Maybe his soul is calling out to the ketchup too.

He shook it off as the female turned away from him returning to her drink. He didn’t think anything of it. He was used to people staring at him and doing double takes. Plus he was used to being stared at as he entered the Bar from his friends, and on the street. Heh. Strange humans indeed. Didn’t they know it was rude to stare?

He waved to Grillby as he approached the bar, taking a seat on the left next to the cute human.

“Going to pay your tab anytime soon?” Grillby said while looking right at him. He said it in a light-hearted way, as the Grillby brought up a ketchup bottle from beneath the counter. He would usually fetch it from the back where the supply was, but Grillby must have been waiting for him to come by.

He grabbed the red bottle that held his favourite version of ketchup. He could never find it in stores, so how Grillby managed was shocking but was also very grateful for Grillby to have it. He should probably start paying his tab soon because of that.

“Maybe one day Grillz, For now, I’ll just like to ketchup with you.” he threw out a pun. He brought the ketchup bottle to his mouth, drinking from the bottle, well more like squirting it in as he swallowed the contents, it soon being absorbed into him to replenish his magic. He could feel someone looking at him. Though he used to the feeling, this felt different for whatever reason but it wasn’t going to let it bother him.

‘It’s probably the human’ he thought.

And he was right

He heard Grillby cough on purpose, bringing attention to the human. He too turned his gaze towards the human who is now looking right at the space on the bar in front of her. He could almost see a red blush on her cheeks. That is pretty cute, heh, silly human.

He turned his attention away from the flustered human, looking at Grillby now, who is once again cleaning a glass. How he always has a glass to clean Sans will never know.

“One day you will or I may just forget to order your favourite ketchup, Sans,” Grillby said and he sounded so serious. No! Not his Ketchup!

Sans gasped and looked at Grillby in horror, He couldn’t stop himself from doing so. “You wouldn’t! I would put you out of business”. He said that but he wasn’t serious. Hell Grillby would still have Business, probably have more money too if Grillby didn’t have to get him a supply of ketchup just for him… well mostly for him. Though he was happy he put a clever pun in there. Heh, Put Grillby out.

But Still the horror. He would never dream Grillby to dare do such a thing. He feels almost hurt. But man if that what it took to pay his tab off... So be it. He would do it for the hard to get ketchup. Until he found out the source of where to get it. But he was too lazy for that.

Paying off his tab would be easier. That way he could keep his steady supply of ketchup at his favourite bar and Keep his best buddy happy.

Grillby looked at him with a look that said ‘ I just might try me’ and shrugged his shoulders.

Grillby turned away from him, and back to his human customer who is still blushing and is now fiddling with the empty glass. He could smell a whiff of human alcohol. The good kind too. He would probably have it too it if had any effect on him, but if he did Grillby would sure to rum out.

That was a pretty clever pun and would have to save that for later.

“Anyway,” Grillby said Gesturing the empty cup, silent question of asking if she wanted a refill of her drink. She looked up at him, very much red in the face still from her earlier embarrassment.

“Oh um, y-yes”. She said, sliding over the Glass to Grillz who is now working on getting a refill.

Oh my stars’ he thought looking at her, ‘ she even sounded cute’’.His soul hummed again and he could feel himself smiling, just like earlier. That really isn’t Normal. He refused to acknowledge it. It was just this weird thing. Maybe it was humming cause he needed rest. He hasn't had a nap in a while. Must be that. He thought, all though he knew deep down that wouldn’t be the cause of his soul humming. He stopped his blush from appearing on his face. Why would he even need to blush? He didn’t know but he for sure didn’t want too.

Wait why did he even think that? Yeah, sure she is cute, but his non-existent brain didn’t need to tell him that! It has been a long day of work. That is what it was, man he needs to be lazier if his soul is acting like that.

She looked back up at him, being out found out he was staring at her.

Geez, who was the rude one now.

She gave an out a squeak in surprise, her eyes going wide, jumping from her seat only to fall backwards, without thinking he reached out his arm in order to catch her, but very quickly felt a hand and a very tight grip on his arm, squeezing him tight, but he didn’t feel that, he just didn’t want her to fall. His arm landed near her waist, stopping her from fall, using his magic to hold the stool too from falling as his eye flickered out blue flame but, it doesn’t seem to have been noticed as she closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have known. Hell, that might have scared her even more. As soon as he felt the stool go back into place, his magic disappeared as well as his flaming blue eye.

Bad sans. Stop scaring the human!

She opened up her eyes, looking up at him, even if she was sitting, he was taller than her. He gave a nervous chuckle. At Least it didn’t sound as nervous as he felt. Though why he was nervous he didn’t know why. Maybe it was because he spooped the poor human.

“You fallin’ for me already? I'm touched.” He joked at her, hoping a nice pun would help ease her. And maybe make him… less scary? He slowly pulled her back before she jumped out her seat. He almost felt bad, almost, if that squeak wasn’t so cu-… no, he was not going to go there. His soul tugged as he thought that. It was almost painful, like a pinprick. As if he knew what that was. But that is what he imagined it would feel like. She blinked up at him, smiling nervously, reflecting how he feels, heh. Strange how that was. And now she is blushing. Can this Human stop being so cute, please?

“I guess so, I’m just so bonely,” she said, puning in response. Okay, he couldn’t do this.

She Puned. SHE PUNED... He let her go, almost regretting it as it was only then he realised how soft she felt under his bony fingers. Even if she was squishy, she was the best kind of squish. The perfect cushion for his aching bones. (- from work, get your head out of the gutter, you sinners) perfect for cuddling. He quickly dismissed those thoughts. WHAT was WITH HIM today. He really did work himself down to the bone. And he also had the perfect reply. If she wanted a pun, she would get it.

“Heh if you wanted to jump my bones that bad kid, buy me some dinner first," Why on earth did he say that! ugh. "Say Grillby, how about some burgers.” sais said, asking his friend who is shaking his head at him before retreating to fetch the goods. Grillby knows what he wants, it’s the same that he always gets so he has no problem with being that vague. If he wanted something else he would have said so.

His Niece took his place, tending to the bar now. She is usually the waitress of the place, delivering food to other tables but at times like these, she mans the bar. She was pretty cute for a flame monster, but not his type. Plus if he did date her and it ended, he would never be able to step into Grillby’s ever again.

He imagines Grillby chasing him, throwing fireballs at him. Good old gribbly. He probably would do that too.

He glances down at the human and her red flushed face, hiding behind your hands, hiding away from view. Humans are strange, he thought and let out a deep chuckle. It was almost fun in a way to see how much she can take, even if that wasn’t his original intentions. He didn’t even have any! Other than the pure curiosity of a new person at his favourite bar, a human nonetheless who is monster friendly? He could probably check on her soul, but he was feeling lazy plus would be rude. If she’s here then she doesn’t hate them at least that was good enough reason not to look. Not because his soul was acting funny earlier. He went back to his bottle, forcing himself to look away.

Though he did Notice Fuku, placing the humans drink back before walking away tending to other customers, though seems like the human didn’t notice as she was hiding behind her hands. Plus Fuku was quiet in placing it down. He probably wouldn’t have noticed either if he wasn’t watching.

“So..,” he spoke, looking back the human. “ sorry if I made you jump out your skin” He really did feel a bit sorry. Even if her reaction was amusing, it probably wasn’t all too nice to be jump scared while relaxing at a bar.

“Oh uh, it’s N-n no worries r-really, It’s just never seen a skellington monster in the flesh before is all.” She said, almost sounding like Alphys and how she is. The stuttering and the fast talking. That’s cute that she is nervous. No Sans delete that though!. What was with him! Now he is starting to wonder if something is his Ketchup. And she waved her hands, hoping not to offend him. Which he wasn’t. They're really weren’t other monsters like him and Papyrus after all. So even the people who liked monsters would still get intimidated.

Oh god, another pun!

She spoke again, sounding a lot less nervous this time, “I guess I just spooped by a scary skellington aye?” She joked.

He couldn't keep his grin from, not saying anything for the moment as he burst out with laughter. “I guess ya did,” He said in between bits of laughter, throwing his head back. Oh man, she got him good. He knew of the song she was referencing. That always earned a chuckle from him. It was somewhat of a guilty pleasure when he first discovered it. Still is.

“You’re an alright kid,” he said, his shoulders and ribs still shuddering with laughter. “Anyway, I’m sans, sans the skellington” he held out his hand for the human to shake. He brought out his whoopie cushion in the hand trick like he does with everyone new. Was the best way to break the ice and tell who was dealing with. That is how it was back in the underground. But in this situation, was just for laughs. The human put her device away and grabbing hold of his hand to shake, only for her to pause when the far rippled out of the whoopie cushion, he could see the blush coming back, but this time with a vengeance.

“Omfg” is all she said as she doubled over in laughter, still holding his hand.

If your face could be any redder right now, you would. “Omfg,” You said out loud before you could stop yourself, doubling over from laughter.

“Ahh the hand whoopie cushion trick, gets people every time,” he said more to himself, letting his hand fall to his side as she let go still gigging away and trying to compose herself. He reached for his drink as she mimicked the same movements getting hers and had a synchronized sip. Though was only now he realised how low the bottle was getting. Not that it mattered, Grillby would bring out another when he brings out the food. Which shouldn’t be too much longer?

“I’m [y/n], [y/n] the human,” She did, following the same wording he used. Heh, Strange how people always do that. But it was simple and to the point.

He smiled back at her, chuckling as he spoke.“I don’t know, I’d you’re fun-sized” he replied, quickly and also turned away as he heard the doors he knows too well open. Man, he could Outcomes Grillby with a large burger for him along with the second bottle of ketchup on his plate.

On smaller plate Grillby is holding, he has a normal sized burger. Human-sized compared that giant burger on the other plate, it just made it look so Small!. Now That’s cute. He allowed himself to have that thought at least. It would have been Bite-sized nibble for him. A snack if you will.

The food was placed down in front of him, making a loud clunk as it meets the hardwood of the bar. How could it not? It was a large burger so it weighed quite a bit. He almost loled out his tongue to the side from the way it looks.

“There you go, oh and no need to pay for the burger, it’s on the house” Grillby crackled at the human as she rushed to make a grab for her wallet to pay for the burger. He would actually pay Grillby for that one and not have that on his tab. He could be nice sometimes. But seeing your face light up as you see the burger, that is al the payment he needed, and I think Grillby could agree to that too as he noticed out of the corner of his vision, Grillby smiling away as Grillby’s flames flare up. How could he not notice a small burst of light?

Thanks, Grillby, you’re the best!” She said as Grillby nodded in satisfaction of a happy customer before going back to the other end making drinks and taking orders.

Want some ketchup?” He asked her while not breaking eye contact with his burger as he offered her the bottle towards her in question. Might as well seeing as it would be emptied on the glorious burger that was calling his name soon. If she wanted some, now was the only time he would offer.

“No thanks bone man, I’m having this burger how it meant to be,” was her reply, he chuckled and said “Suit yourself ” under his breath, bringing the bottle back towards him now that offer was refused. Popping the lid off easily pouring the heavenly liquid over his burger, drenching it and the smell of the burger and ketchup filled his nose cavity. Making him shudder a bit but he did to suppress it. Oh and he almost missed the pun. Heh. Bone man. She wasn’t wrong. And if he wasn’t distracted by the burger right now his thoughts would have wandered into nsfw realm.

But when he was eating the burger, his thoughts might as well have been in the nsfw kind, Even if only it was just for the food he was eating right now. He wasn’t paying much attention to the human beside him not for a while until he heard a purr coming from beside him.

He didn't know humans could .. Purr? He finished up his burger quickly, pausing time for a minute, much like he did with frisk in what seems forever ago as he cleaned up his plate, not leaving a single trace of the burger and licking his finger bones clean with his blue thick, long tongue and then he cleaned the plate in the same fashion. He would never waste ketchup, not this kind. Plus during this time he can as primal as he wants to say like cleaning the plate till it’s spotless. He doesn’t use this trick often as he does prefer time to move forward but for moments like these… He unpaused time like a pop. as everything turned back to normal. And during that time he thought of a purrfect pun.

“No kitten’ about these burgers being good aye?”He says, looking at the human still eating their small burger. Though it looked massive in her hands, even with half of it gone. He heard her hum in response as she can’t talk right now, not that he expected one just yet. He also noticed the human squinting at him like ‘ seriously?’ and turning back to take a big bite out of it, with juices running down her fingers the more she dug into it trying to finish the burger which Honestly did not take that long at all.

Heh, Even humans can’t resist shoving his Burgers down. They were just That good.

“Hehe yeah, that burger was purr-fection” She finally managed to say after having the final bite of the heavenly food.

She even punned back with a related pun, If he didn't already have a favourite human right now you would be next in line. That’s if he knew you of course. Which he didn’t. But the reaction to the burger says anything is that you will return here. He feels himself feel a bit happier at the thought.

He had to look away as She started licking her fingers now, getting the last of the burger juices that ran down her small hands Much like him… except he froze time to do so… His lewd thoughts coming back to haunt him. He forced them away very quickly. He was not about to do That to someone he just meets! That would be rude. But fuck he hasn’t had any action in a while. He was left bone dry for god knows how long. But he was never this bad. Maybe he should cut his work hours for a while, take a break. Yeah. That would work. It wouldn't but he hopes so.

He KNOWS it won’t but he is too much denial now to care about logic. Just excuses.

Yet still, he opened his mouth to make a pun.

“Could say it’s finger licking good”, He is looking at the female, cleaning off her fingers with an innocent doe look on her face with her fingers in that mouth…

He Felt his SOUL thump in his chest. He can’t be in denial now, yet he still is. He refused to believe that was significant nope. He was going to be stubborn about this and he didn't care. Nor did he knew what it meant. And… he didn’t want too. Whatever it is. He has a feeling it won’t go away,

He was shocked and hoped to the gods no one had heard it because he felt it. And it felt Big . Momentary letting his concentration of holding back the blush that he was fighting, flater for a second. The blush returning with a hint of blue glow on his cheeks. It was only for split second but that was enough. He hopes to god you didn’t see it. Nor the shudder he which rattled his bones had when he met your eyes with his own.

What on earth did he get himself into?

┗(＾0＾) ┓ Back to the present ┏(＾0＾)┛

He blinked as he brought himself back to the present, blushing once again. And don't think what happened after she left, as he stayed until Papyrus called him to come home, worried about him and also wanted to be read a bedtime story as always. Bless Papyrus may he forever be innocent. Though he knows that is a foolish notion, he still tries his best for his bro and his innocence. And Also be the best bro ever to his Bro that was The freakin coolest.

‘Get a grip’ he thought as he got up for the day throwing his ketchup-stained comforter off him ( half of it falling to the floor, half holding onto the bed for dear life. Poor comforter ). He threw on his classic blue hoodie not bothering to zip it up, and slipping into his fluffy pink slippers which in all honesty need replacing. Maybe he would if he found an identical pair. But today is not that day.

With a wave of his hand, the door that was locked now has opened and he walked out of his room, locking his door in the same manner when he opened it, casually walking down the stairs into the lounge where Pappy was sitting, eating Waffles with honey and watching Some human Tv program. It was still pretty early so had to be cartoons.

‘ Heh only baby bones watch those, but paps will always be a baby bones to me ’ he thought as he looked at his brother.

“AHH SANS YOU ARE UP! I AM SURPRISED, BUT!, GO AND EAT THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS” With a Nyeh heh heh in between bites of the fluffy crunchy goodness that is Waffles.

They smell pretty good, and nothing smells burnt. Yep, he would grab some. Makes a nice change from the breakfast pasta that he had yesterday. Not that his bro pasta was bad anymore since he learned how to cook, but still Pasta that early in the morning? Not quite his thing.

“Careful not to waffle them down to quick Paps”

Papyrus blinked for second before realizing there was a pun.

“SANS!”

He laughed before grabbing himself a serving, throwing some ketchup on his, drenching it like he did with his burgers. “Don't worry paps, I’m just butter- ing you up” He winked at his bro as he looked at the butter placed on the table, along with some honey. “PLEASE NO MORE PUNS, I SWEAR SANS YOU’LL LOSE YOUR WAFFLE PRIVILEGES, NYEH HEH HEH. ALSO, IT’S NICE SEEING YOU UP EARLY FOR A CHANGE” Papyrus shouted, though Sans knew he wasn’t serious. He wouldn’t dare take away his waffles, not since they are tinted in beautiful red ketchup. And he could almost see Papyrus smiling, even though he pretends to hate the puns. He loves them deep down. And he was up earlier than he normally would. He didn't see as a big deal. He just had a good night sleep is all and shrugged it off.

“The situation in the here is so terrible that it's going from batter to waffle.”

This only made the skinner skeleton madder. SO mad that he fighting off a huge grin on his face and losing.

“SANS!” he shouted at him much louder than he usually was as he turned towards him. He winks at pap, waffling the waffles down, heh, before paps could take back the ketch covered delights. Papyrus grabbed the closest thing to him which was the cushion and threw it at his head.

It bounced off his skull and onto the floor.

Both Skeletons stared at the object in question.

“I am not picking that up”

. . .

“IF YOU WON’T NEITHER WILL I, YOU TOUCHED IT LAST BROTHER AND I, PAPYRUS, I WOULD RATHER IT NOT TURN INTO ANOTHER SOCK LIKE DEBOBKLE”. Papyrus said, getting up from his seat and almost jogging to the kitchen, putting his plate in the sink to be washed. Sans would do the dishes later after since Pappy Cooked the meals and He, he cleaned. He may be lazy, but he does the dishes every time without fail. Manners are important, even for the lazy skeleton such as himself. He stares at the cushion that is on the floor. He thought he might just put a post-it note on it. Maybe next time, he was too lazy for it now. He picked it up and tossed it back onto the couch.

____(time skip)____

Sans sat at the counter at one of many jobs. Not like he needed them. Their gold and crystal that are from the underground has given them plenty of money to sit on for awhile. But work was nice, even if it was little boring. Was amusing to see humans reactions. Though not as great as that human he meets at Grillby. They paled in comparison to her.

Oh and he was also allowed to sit - not just because he was lazy, though that might be half the reason, - It was because he was pretty tall, and sitting down was a bit less intimidating than standing.

There were no customers as of yet, but it was just before the huge lunch rush, so he had some time to himself and looked at his phone, which looked small in his hands. He might just get an upgrade to get a bigger phone, though he could always ask Alphy’s to do it for him.

He scrolled through social media and the monster equivalent of those sights, seeing a few familiar faces here and there pop up. A few news articles peeking his interest. Some… not as much. He skipped over those until he had a message from Papyrus. That was not usual at all. Papy did text him a bit through the day to make sure he’s actually working.

From COOLDUDE, “SANS I HOPE YOU’RE WORKING, ALSO I NEED TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS WHEN GIVEN THE CHANCE. - PAPYRUS”

He even shouted in his texts. Even in the virtual world Papyrus was a loud person. But Him asking him questions? Now that was unusual, even for him. But he would humour him. Besides, he still had another 10 minutes to go before people would be left off work. Unfortunately for him, he was not one of them.

From Skellington, “hey paps, yeah i’m working down to the bone, heh. ask away”

Other than asking if he’s working, papyrus never does unless he’s planning something. It was nowhere near where his Birthday. So couldn’t be that. It must be something else. A small ‘ ping’ sound sounded from his phone as he got a reply.

From COOLDUDE, “SANS!! STOP WITH THE PUNS!!! ANYWAY, *COUGHS* AS I AM YOUR BROTHER IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT YOU GOT UP WHEN I ONLY ASKED AND I ONLY ASKED ONCE! IT CAME AS A SURPRISE AS THAT IS NOT NORMAL! AND PUT ON A CLEAN JACKET!”

So he noticed? Heh, even he didn’t notice that. Papyrus was right, he never usually ventures out from his from his room until like the third or forth yell with some loud knocking at his door which usually ended up being a knock-knock joke.

He completely missed doing so. No wonder paps were surprised earlier this morning.

He quickly typed a reply before putting his phone away and putting it on silent as he quietly prepared for the masses.

From Skellington, “it’s nothing to worry about paps, and sometimes I make the effort to look nice and cool like you bro.”

Short Papyrus p.o.v

He was staring at the ad that popped up on his feed that said “ matchMaker/ wingwoman for hire- the price for my services? Just a meal or two! Contact me with the details below… (phone number and email here along with other details of matching and what it means… also is Monster friendly) ” and then looking at his dating book beside him sitting on his desk by his Computer remembering a few lessons and tips for how to date for when he had a ‘date’ with Frisk...

He Pondered for a moment, looking at his phone reading His Brother’s reply.

It all made sense. Getting up early! Wearing Nicer clothing - least for his brother’s standards. Which in this case went way past those standards!

His brother Sans, might be dating someone! OF COURSE. He should have known!

Well fear no Brother! I THE GREAT PAPYRUS Shall help you out!, Nyeh Heh Heh! ... Heh!” He said to himself, putting the number down from the ad into his phone, eager to message this person of “winging” and “matchmaking’. He might even learn a thing a two. Besides this was for the good of his brother! And he would do anything to help and since the ad helped him put ‘2 + 2’ together, he would ask for the help of a fellow human!

From COOLDUDE, “HELLO HUMAN OF MATCHMAKING AND ‘WINGNESS’ OF WOMAN! I HAVE AN ENQUIRY TO MAKE AND WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD?"

#undertale fic #undertale #reader #reader insert #MatchMaker

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