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#She really went 'yeah this looks 1700s enough.' Please. You saw the outfit your mom made to go back what is that
the-halfling-prince · 3 months
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Outlander S3:
Marseli: Listen here, you English whore-
Claire: 😶
Fergus: Hey that's my mom don't call my mommy a whore
#Fergus is like 'girl I know whores she's not one#Me when my adopted son marries my husband's stepdaughter. huh.#When I saw Fergus first show up in season 3 I still refered to him as 'the little French boy' like I know he's an adult now but he's still#my little French boy TO ME. To me.#Anyway this show is fucking insane#My favorite thing is how they exclusively call Ian 'young Ian'#Like young neil vibes#my posts#outlander#Claire is such a funny character to me like she's going through it all the time. If it's not one thing it's another#I loved when she was on that island and then Jamie and the others finally found her and one of the shipmen was like 'man his wife always#shows up in the weirdest places' and I'm like THAT'S WHAT IM SAYING#Give this woman a break#Also I just got to the part where Brianna (Briana?) Decides to go through the stones and HER OUTFIT!#I'm crying literally what#She really went 'yeah this looks 1700s enough.' Please. You saw the outfit your mom made to go back what is that#Wait no I loved the part where Claire put a zipper in her stays and Jamie was like 'girl what the fuck.'#Anyway yeah#I had no interest in this show but I'd be in the living room doing whatever while my mum watched it and I got hooked so we started it over#WAIT the part where William was like 'why didn't you turn around when you let's and Jamie said he didn't want to give him false hope#And then when John gray and William were leaving William turned around and you could see that Jamie was given that same false hope#Help this poor man#The amount of shit Jamie and Claire go through I'm so glad they have plot armor.#Also love the idea of Claire saying things in 1960s English and everyone going 'what is she on?'#Wait I need to know what was going through Claire's head when she decided what photos to bring of Brianna to show Jamie#Like 'oh these are cute. It really shows her personality and- oh I'm gonna scare the shit outta him with the bikini picture'#Girl what#Okay I'm done
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sam-i-am-27 · 6 years
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Split
Summary: Felix just wanted a birthday with his friends. Mark just wanted to go home and not bother anyone. Instead of getting their wishes, they and Ethan are kidnapped by a strange man in a doctor’s outfit and a German accent.
Word Count: 1700
Warnings: Kidnapping, Nudity Implication, Urine, Abuse, Crying
Yes, this is an AU of the movie Split. 
At the party, there were almost a dozen teenagers gathered around one boy with bleached blonde hair and the beginnings of a thick, curly beard. All of them were belting at the tops of their lungs a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ as they stared at a chocolate cake decorated with the same words. All of them seemed happy, except one. This boy was sitting over to the side of the party, looking out the window and ignoring all the celebrations.
Ten minutes later, the boy was still sitting there, now on his phone and talking to someone quietly. The birthday boy walked up to his mother and best friend, shrugging. “Mercy invites always end up like this.”
“It was your idea to invite everyone in your editing class,” his mother said.
“What? That’s literally the rudest thing anyone could do, especially since she has no social media that I know of and because of that, I had to ask her either up-front or not at all.”
His mother smiled. “I’m proud that you think that way, Felix… I hope my pride is in the right place.”
“I mean, Mark’s one of those people who’s a bit of a rebel. He yells at teachers a lot, and consequently, he gets detention a lot.”
“What a big word, Felix!” his friend commented.
“Shut up, Ethan,” Felix said, giving his friend a playful punch in the shoulder. “Maybe she can uber?”
“No, we’re not leaving until she’s got a visible ride outside the door. And that’s final,” his mother said. They quieted down as Mark got off the phone and approached the three.
“Yeah, uh, my uncle’s stuck in heavy traffic and won’t be here for another three hours or so. I’ll be fine waiting by myself. Or even better, I’ll take the bus” he said.
“You’re not taking a bus. We’ll drive you home, it’s fine,” Felix’s mother smiled softly. “This may be the last time I get to drive you around since Felix has almost saved up enough for his own car!”
Felix scowled at his mom, his ears growing a bit red as Ethan hid a smirk behind his hand.
“Uh, no. I wouldn’t want to trouble you.”
“Nonsense, it’ll be fine!” Felix’s mom said.
“All you’ll be missing if you don’t come is a weird music choice somewhere between Bowie and Cardi B,” Felix said.
Without much choice, Mark followed the family out of the establishment and into the parking lot, lagging behind a little since he didn’t really know either Felix or Ethan. They reached the car and slowly began piling Felix’s coutless presents into the trunk. As Felix and Ethan piled into the back seats of the car, Mark helped Felix’s mother with the leftover food and gifts.
“Thank you, Mark. I got the rest,” she said, giving him a warm smile. Not wanting to argue, he got into the shotgun seat and waited quietly. In the back, he could hear Felix and Ethan laughing about whatever videos they had found posted by their classmates. There was a thud as the trunk closed and instinctively, Mark glanced at the side-view mirror to see if something was coming up behind him.
There was nothing there so when the door next to him opened, he pulled on his seat belt. As he was about to fasten it into the lock, he glanced back into the mirror. Boxes of cake and pizza were splattered all over the ground. Birthday gifts were strewn about the food.
As slow as possible, Mark turned in his seat, letting the seat belt fall back into place. In the place where Felix’s mom was supposed to be was a middle-aged man wearing a long white lab coat, rubber gloves and spotless teal scrubs. His hair was mostly hidden by one of those weird hats but a few strands of green were poking out around his square-rim glasses.
He sighed in annoyance, pulling out a green cloth, wrapping it around his index finger and scrubbing the little hula lady atop the dashboard. He then began to meticulously pick up little pieces of trash and place them into the cupholder.
Felix and Ethan’s laughs subsided as they finally realized that Felix’s mother had been replaced.
“Sir, I think you have the wrong car,” Felix said.
The Doctor didn’t say anything, only completing his doctor-look with a surgical mask. Mark’s mind raced a million miles in less than half-a-second. He was either protecting his identity or was protecting himself from something airborne. Either way, this wasn’t the situation he needed to be in and he needed to escape right now.
The question was answered within seconds, he had locked the doors and was spraying some sort of chemical into both Felix and Ethan’s faces, making them cough for a few seconds and then pass out cold.
Mark’s world tunneled. Definitely not a situation he needed to be in. Everything was going in slow-motion, the only sounds were Mark’s own heart beat and the annoyed sighs of the Doctor as he continued to clean the dashboard with his yellow cloth.
Not daring to breath, Mark reached up and grasped the door handle with two fingers. He needed to be as quiet as possible about this as possible… the Doctor didn’t even know he existed yet…
The sound of it unlocking and the sudden beeping was as loud and sudden as a gunshot. The Doctor whipped around, surprised at the noise, and looked Mark dead in the eyes. In that instant, Mark knew there was no escape for him.
He sent a pleading look to the Doctor He wasn’t supposed to be here! He was supposed to be on a bus heading home! Tears began to roll down his face. Please…
The Doctor only scowled, pulled the mask on again and held the spray can up to Mark’s face.
A long hallway filled with pipes and dim lights… He was being rolled somewhere…The squeak of metal on metal…
Where was he?
Something soft and warm…
He opened his eyes a crack and saw Ethan and Felix huddled together on a single cot, breathing rapidly and looking absolutely terrified beyond words.
When Felix saw him awake, he tapped Ethan’s arm quickly.
Neither of them said anything as Mark sat up, his stomach sore from sleeping on it for however long he was out. In front of him was a large metal door surrounded by polished dark wood. The metal was rusty but smoothed down so there was no chance of a hand-hold; same with the wood.
“We woke up in here,” Felix said as Mark turned to look at the small, pure bathroom. A toilet, a shower, an oval mirror and a sink. Everything inside was blinding white except a single yellow tulip sitting in a glass on the sink.
He pushed himself up and took deep breath.
“What the fuck is going on? What are we doing here? Mark, do you know what happened to my mom?”
“Shh. He’s out there,” Ethan whispered.
“Do you know what happened to my mom?” Felix repeated desperately.
A door closed loudly outside of the one they were looking at. They all began to breathe heavily, at the sound, keeping their eyes fixed on the door. Lights began to turn on as the door handle turned and the door itself was opened by the same man in a white lab coat. He was carrying fold-up wooden chair and didn’t say a word as unfolded the chair, keeping his annoyed expression focused on the three.
Before he sat down, he pulled out the same yellow rag and wiped the seat clean of any and all dirt, folded it up into a neat little square and put it into his pocket. He folded his arms and stared at them. He glanced over at Ethan, who was obviously the most uncomfortable, rubbing his thumb rapidly on his thigh.
The Doctor stood, pointing at Ethan.
“I choose you first,” he said in a heavy German accent. He folded up the chair with a snap and brought it into the back room. In the short amount of time he was given, Mark examined the room. Dirty cement walls, a large clothing rack… and not much else from where he was sitting.
The Doctor returned just as Felix was beginning to comfort Ethan again. He walked to Ethan deliberately.
“Zis vill only be a minute,” he said, grabbing Ethan and ripping him from Felix. Both yelled in agitation, but Felix was at least smart enough not to try and take Ethan back, falling back to screaming into his hands from the cot. Ethan managed to pry himself from the Doctor’s grip long enough to run to Mark.
Mark took his face in his hands and muttered, “Pee on yourself,” just before the man got ahold of Ethan again and forcefully carried Ethan out the door. Ethan tried in vain to grab the door itself, but received a sharp slap in retaliation. His screams still echoed in the small room even after the door was closed. They could hear him whimpering, pleading for the Doctor not to do… something.
Felix ran to the door and began to pound desperately, screaming for the Doctor to release his friend. “No! No! Open the door!”
The Doctor suddenly heeded his cries, throwing the door open and carrying in Ethan. He set him down between the two cots and growled angrily, shaking his wrists in attempt to get something off of his hands. He leaned against the door and yelled between his teeth, almost pained by whatever was on his hands. With one last, growl, he slammed the door shut, leaving a sobbing, urine-covered Ethan, being comforted by Felix.
“He wanted me to dance… the outside door is locked,” Ethan muttered, stumbling quietly to the bathroom.
Felix let him go, understanding the need to shower off everything that had just happened, physically and metaphorically. He took a shaky breath. “We’re okay… we’re okay…”
He went into the bathroom to help Ethan, leaving Mark on the cot, breathing just as shakily, tears slowly forcing their way out of his eyes. This couldn’t be happening… it couldn’t…
Uh... yeah! 
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