#Yes Wymack was dragging Kevin because Kevin tried to go get into another argument with the Nutritionist

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 30

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Ichirou Moriyama had long been someone Riko had spoken about and therefore someone Kevin knew of.

First reverently as he talked about how someday his brother would come for him and how he’d watch Riko’s games. Then Ichirou never showed up once and the anger set in and mentions of his brother would result in especially bad days.

Kevin’s only saving grace at the Nest near the end was that Ichirou had been as uninterested in him as he was in Riko.

Neil was the one who had handled any communications with the new Master of the Moriyama family and Kevin was grateful for that. His stomach still twists when he found out what it would cost him to have the closest thing he would ever really have to freedom since his mom’s car accident but Kevin could hardly fault Neil since Kevin has no idea if he would have been able to even open his mouth and speak to negotiate with Ichirou. He certainly wouldn’t have thought to bargain for Neil and Jean’s lives.

So he was going to make sure the Neil had the best possible chances to get on a great team not just because he had every faith that Neil could be on the national court but also Kevin wanted him on the national court. Neil was his partner and his friend.

This was his last year that he could help as directly as this so he and Neil were still putting in the hours in their evening practices. It was also the last year that Neil could rely on him to assist in getting everyone up to snuff.

Ichirou Moriyama was going to be stopping by at some point and Kevin had decided that the best way to handle this information was to focus on something life affirming.

“I’m just saying it isn’t an unknown flavor combination.” Kevin argues.

“Kevin there is something very different about vanilla protein powder in chicken stock and Chicken and Waffles.” Aaron says from his spot behind Kevin in Wymack’s car.

“There shouldn’t be! It’s all the same flavors, just liquid!” Kevin turns in his seat to point at Aaron, “You should put on your seatbelt, what if Wymack crashes?” He says for the third time since the car ride had begun.

“That’s my problem, not yours.” Aaron says and his eyes have been locked on the roof of the car since the car ride began which was rude but Kevin had learned to expect nothing less from a Minyard.

“It will be my problem when your corpse breaks my neck as you fly forward!” Kevin hisses.

“Coach, could you do me a favor-“

“I’m not going to crash the car.” Wymack interrupts eyes on the road and hands at 10 and 2.

“God forbid you do something nice for me.” Aaron gripes crossing his arms.

Kevin decides to change his target.

“Coach-“

“Kevin, you’re not putting any protein powder into Smith’s soup. That’s final. Do you want to mess up his Grandma’s hard work to follow the Doctor’s recipe exactly?” Wymack asks.

No.

No Kevin does not wish to mess up Grandma Smith’s hard work.

He just…

A Food pyramid flashes in his mind.

…thinks he knows more than the hospital dietician.

“It’s not that Smith’s Grandma made bad soup.” Kevin says because the woman was a talent in the kitchen even if she might use a bit too much butter. He’d let her know but Nicky refused to translate and she’d smiled so warmly at him and touched his face so gently… “I think she was led astray by bad science and Nicky wouldn’t translate for me.” He says, “If she understood English she would have understood and agreed with me.” He says because he did manage to get her finely chop a bunch of carrots to put into the pasta sauce so that Neil would get some veggies.

She was a reasonable woman who understood the importance of good nutrition.

“I don’t know about that.” Coach says and Kevin wonders what he means by that.

They’re close behind Andrew’s car and Kevin can see two parking spots next to one another near the front except Andrew pulls into the spots in a way that means it is almost impossible for anyone to get into the second spot unless they owned a tiny smart car.

Andrew often parks like that to make sure no one dings the Maserati.

“That little shit.” Wymack grumbles as he continues to drive.

“Aren’t you going to let us out at the entrance?” Kevin asks.

“Who am I, your driver?” Wymack grumbles and does not slow down to let them out  at the hospital entrance. “You’ve been bitching about not getting enough exercise and eating too much fat this weekend, consider this just some of the exercise you’ve been wanting.” He says.

Kevin leans back in the chair.

He does NOT pout. He merely frowns with his lips puffed out and feels as if he has been treated unfairly.

He uses this time wisely.

He thinks about Neil and Andrew’s ‘secret’ conversation.

Kevin still doesn’t know Russian, has no plans to learn it because he does not want to know 80% of what Neil and Andrew say to one another, but Kevin has always been great at understanding tone and it’s not that hard to understand that they were talking about FF when he ‘Kapitan Neil’.

He thinks about what might stress Neil out about FF (never once does he consider that FF being in the hospital with a stab wound may be the thing that stresses Neil out, not when there’s an explanation that involves Exy).

FF might choose to leave.

That would not bode well for Neil.

Kevin has already signed but Neil needs the next few years still to make sure he can follow through on his deal with Ichirou.

FF is a great defensive dealer.

Kevin still doesn’t really understand how he can seemingly just appear on the Court to intercept passes but Kevin has been informed that all of his plans to figure it out are ‘medically unethical’ and ‘likely to get him thrown in prison’.

Nicky patting his face pityingly and saying, “Your face is too pretty for prison.” had been when he stopped looking at how he could buy electrodes.

His follow-up search to find out that no prison in the United States currently had an Exy court as a facility had him drop the outline of his research into his recycle bin and right click to delete permanently.

Since Kevin cannot find a way to replicate that particular talent of FF’s then they just need FF to stay.

He also quite likes the steady freshman. He’s probably not ever going to be National Court level like he and Neil are, but he would be a solid Dealer on a good team. Kevin wouldn’t even mind playing with him professionally.

They park the car far in the back of the lot and Wymack grumbles at a different nice car that is taking up two spots. Kevin climbs out of the car and they start their way towards the hospital.

Kevin considers jogging in circles around Aaron and Wymack as they walk just to burn off more of the lunch they’d just had but decides against it.

Maybe a different nutritionist will be on staff today and will be able to back Kevin up on his plan.

***

Captain Neil and Andrew are quickly followed by Nicky and his Grandma both of whom look nervous but some of that seemed to dissipate when they saw him.

“Are you okay?” Captain Neil asks.

FF goes to open his mouth but a nurse interrupts, “He decided to go on a walk in his current condition. I thought we were quite clear that you needed to stay in bed. Stressing yourself is why you collapsed in the Cafeteria like that.” His main nurse chastises.

“Sorry, it won’t happen again.” FF promises because it won’t. He’s planning on asking for a medically induced coma to escape the consequences of his actions so leaving the bed is the last thing he’s going to do. His dad’s trust for him can have money taken out for his medical needs and there has never been a greater medical need in his entire life than right now.

“What happened?” Andrew demands stepping next to Neil.

How does one explain getting a job offer from the Yakuza (Yakuza or Mafia)?

“I wanted to go for a walk.” He answers because he had and that’s easier to explain.

“Why did you meet Ichirou Moriyama?” Andrew asks again in German.

Well dammit.

FF finds himself at a crossroads.

Does he tell the truth? That he’s an idiot and didn’t realize the man was reaching out to Captain Neil? That he went and had an entire conversation with the man who owns Captain Neil, Kevin, and Jean Moreau? That afterward he tried to stand up and fainted which is how he got taken back to his room?

He thinks he has enough lies going on between his own and his grandma’s and he needs to relay something from Ichirou Moriyama.

“Lord Moriyama wanted me to tell you that he no longer needed to speak with you Captain Neil.” He relays just like he said he would and he sees Captain Neil tense.

“Smith.” Andrew says his name.

He also doesn’t want to talk about it any further.

“I’m fine, but I don’t want to talk about it.” FF closes his eyes as he answers back in German. He feels exhausted now and wishes that he had just requested a coma earlier so that he wouldn’t be in this situation. “Captain Neil, you left your phone here and it’s been pinging. Sorry I read one of the texts.” He gestures vaguely to his side table.

None of his guests speak for the next few minutes as the nurses finish reminding him to stay still, that he’s lucky his stitches didn’t break, that he’s on thin ice. He’s tired and he’s hungry so he’s curt with them in a way he’ll regret later but right now it’s just a lot when he can still feel Captain Neil and Andrew’s eyes burning into him.

Then Nicky proves to continue to be the nicest friend he has when the nurses leave and he feels Nicky’s hand take his and squeeze. “Hey, how are you really feeling?” he asks.

FF takes a deep breath, “I have...no idea.” he says. “I’m sorry.” he adds.

Nicky squeezes his hand again, “Hey, Aras made you some soup and we kept it away from Kevin. You’re probably a lil’ cranky because you’re tired, hungry, and in pain. You don’t need to talk about it right now okay?” Nicky says.

He’s really lucky to have Nicky as his friend.

He squeezes Nicky’s hand back and valiantly does not cry. He squeezes his eyes tighter to keep them from slipping out, it’d be embarrassing to cry here like this.

“Thank you.” He says voice quiet but doesn’t open his eyes, knowing what will come out if he does.

His Grandma comes to his side again and strokes his face. Her fingers wipe away the few tears that did slip out despite his best efforts but he thinks she did it so casually that maybe no one noticed.

It hasn’t been a good day, but Grandma’s soup has always been something that makes him feel better. He just wishes he could be alone for a minute with just her to witness the next few minutes.

Nicky, bless him, must sense that because he squeezes his hand tightly before letting go, “C’mon, let’s give Smithy and Aras a moment okay?” He says.

FF doesn’t open his eyes until his Grandma whispers, “My little Rotisserie Chicken, they’ve stepped out.” She says.

“He offered me a job in the Yakuza.” He blubbers immediately. “I don’t even know if they have dental.” He spills one of his lesser concerns.

“Oh honey, let’s eat some soup.” She soothes stroking his face.

***

Neil feels bad.

FF was pale, shaking, sweaty, and despite his grandma’s best efforts Neil had seen a tear slip from his tightly closed eyes.

He looks to his side and sees Andrew’s own hands tightened into fists.

“C’mon, let’s give Smithy and Aras a moment okay?” Nicky says and drags them out of the room through the sheer force of his ire. It’s moment like this that Neil really does understand why it is that FF prefers to spend his free time with Nicky over any other of their group.

They get out of the room and down the hall before Nicky starts in. “You two are the KINGS of not talking about shit so, for now, LEAVE it.” He hisses in German in a bid to keep the conversation private from anyone walking past.

“We need to know what deal he and Ichirou came to.” Andrew says in the same language.

“You’re going to find that out from Ichirou probably once he crazy murders Romero and Jackson in the next couple days!” Nicky cries dramatically, “Smithy probably doesn’t even know the full details because he’s in a lot of pain because he’s been STABBED.” Nicky points a finger at Andrew but wisely does not poke him with it. “Do you think he ACTUALLY went on a walk? Ichirou’s men probably took him since they couldn’t find YOU Neil.” Nicky points at Neil and, again, wisely does not poke him with it.

Neil’s stomach twists.

Maybe Neil should invest in a phone clip like Wymack thought the implication that the Moriyamas came to where his phone was leaves him wanting to skip it like a stone straight into the ocean. Too bad going to a beach still makes his palms sweaty.

“So what WE are going to do,” Nicky does a quick circle to point at the three of them, “is we are going to be good friends and help Smithy because he’s stressed, in pain, and needs friends not INTERROGATORS.” Nicky waves his arms in exasperation.

“Who are Neil and Andrew interrogating?” Aaron asks and Neil looks to the side to see Aaron with Kevin being pulled along by the scruff by Wymack.

“Smithy.” Nicky says.

“Why?” Kevin asks.

“Because Ichirou came and talked to him.” Andrew explains.

Kevin goes pale. “Why? I thought he was going to talk with Neil?” Kevin asks looking at Neil.

“He probably came here following Neil’s phone, which he left. So he grabbed Smithy to talk to him.” Nicky says, “Ichirou seemed impressed and pleased with whatever they talked about but Smithy is a little fragile after all of this so,” Nicky stepped into Kevin’s space, “Leave.” He pokes Kevin’s chest once, “Him.” He pokes Kevin’s chest twice, “Alone.” He pokes Kevin’s chest a third time.

“How would he even have an understanding of who he’s talking to?” Kevin asks looking sick. “No one has mentioned anything about the whole thing with the Moriyamas right?” He looks at the rest of them and Neil knows none of them would mention it.

Nicky rolls his eyes with his entire body.

“Kevin, do you know how many languages Smithy is fluent in?” Nicky asks.

“Uh…quite a few?” Kevin responds looking thrown.

“Yeah, one of those languages is French. Which you KNOW because he’s corrected your pronunciation before.” Nicky reminds Kevin and the Son of Exy blushes slightly.

“What does that have to do with this?!” Kevin squawks.

“Kevin, how many conversations have you had RIGHT in front of Smithy in French as you talked with Jean?” Nicky asks.

“None!” Kevin hisses.

“Can you say that for sure? You know how it can be with Smithy. Aaron over here has basically almost fucked his girlfriend in front of Smithy before because he didn’t realize he was there.” He juts his thumb towards Aaron.

“Hey.” Aaron scowls not happy to be reminded of that. “He needs a damn bell.” Aaron grumbles.

“I’ve talked about it in front of him and you never told us?!” Kevin exclaims.

“It’s Smithy! He’s not going to tell anyone!”  Nicky argues.

Which is very true.

FF is just not that kind of guy.

“So we are ALL going to be good, supportive friends to Smithy and hopefully he gets out of here today despite the whole shit show with Ichirou and we get him back to Abby’s where he can rest up in her guest room with his grandma.” He points at each of them with a frown.

“But-“

“Kevin, leave it for now.” Wymack finally steps in to the conversation. “How’s he looking?” He looks to Neil.

Pale, tired, pained, and trying not to cry either from pain, stress, or fear Neil does not know.

“Bad.” Neil answers.

Wymack sighs, “Stay out here. I’m going to go check.” He says.

They watch as Wymack enters into FF’s room.

Kevin is still spiraling from the realization of all the different conversations he could have possibly had in front of FF thinking French would act as a barrier.

A thought crosses Neil’s mind, “Wait, Smith doesn’t know Russian right?” He looks to Andrew because he and Andrew have said quite a few things to one another when FF was there.

“No, he said he isn’t learning it here.” Andrew shakes his head. “Even if he does learn it Smith would just leave if he was uncomfortable.” Andrew shrugs.

They have all seen a ‘Smith 180°™‘ before when he’s walked in and has seen Aaron and Katelyn or entered a room where Nicky was talking to Erik or Matt was talking to Dan. Neil has even noticed one or two when him and Andrew may have been in a less than private place.

It was nice to have someone who would just see them like that and leave it alone instead of betting on it, trying to take a picture, or gagging like it’s disgusting.

Wymack walks back out after a minute in FF’s hospital room, “Let’s give Smith and his Grandma a couple more minutes.” He says and Neil’s heart sinks.

***

Wymack wasn’t quite sure what he walked into.

Smith’s Grandma was wiping his face and feeding him soup which is about what he expected. What he hadn’t expected was what FF was saying to his Grandma.

“….didn’t even wash his hands Gran. What if none of them wash their hands? I can’t work in that kind of environment!” FF babbles as he takes another spoonful of soup from his Grandma.

Smith’s Grandma looks up and sees that it’s just him at the door before continuing in English, “Sweetie, you don’t need to accept the job offer from the Yakuza.” She soothes.

“What do I even do?! What’s the etiquette? Do I send a letter refusing the job offer? Do I email him thanking him for the interview? Was it an interview?” FF asks.

Wymack shuts the door and he’s sure FF hadn’t even noticed him.

Yeah the kid needs a couple more minutes

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

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#Fluent Freshman AU #FF - Pt. 30 #Can't BELIEVE there's 30 parts of this #Happy 4th of July to all my fellow Americans #Happy Tuesday to everyone else #FF be going through it a bit in this chapter #He's a silly goofy guy but also he's having a delayed reaction to realizing who he just talked to #Yes Wymack was dragging Kevin because Kevin tried to go get into another argument with the Nutritionist #Also Yes GS had Neil eat veggies without his knowledge but EVERYONE else knew #Also yes the car that was parked the same assholey way that Andrew's was is Ichirou's car #Some other things that FF is worried about with the job offer #How does one ask for a raise within organized crime? #How organized is the crime? #Do they have payroll? #Or is it commissions based? #Is there some sort of ACCOUNTANT who manages all of that? #That's gotta be stressful #If he wants to pursue other avenues of employment how does he use this on his resume? #IS Ichirou Moriyama a good reference? #Do they get paid vacation? #What are his benefits? #Does he get to request 1 free hit a year? #If hired can he push a hygiene initiative? #Like YES you are trying to kill your target #But Sepsis is such an awful way to go #What do human resources look like in a crime family? #aftg #AFTG AU #AFTG OC #Andreil

[jsteneil]

white sleeves

3k

read on ao3

It was Nicky who forced them all in the car on an apparently random Saturday, with empty threats, a good deal of supplication, and endless streaks of “Neil. Neil. Neil. Neil.” which got on everyone nerves, even his own.

Neil managed to outlast Nicky the fifth time he did it by turning on the shower, choosing to wash his hair for the second time in as many days just so the water would flow over his ears.

“What the fuck are you doing?” was the first thing he heard when he stepped out of the stall, almost relaxed. The voices were right outside the bathroom door but Neil pretended he was alone in the world as he dried and dressed as slowly as possible.

“Neil—I’m ensuring you have a good Christmas, Aaron Joseph Minyard, and if you had one sentimental bone in your body you’d be right there with me—Neil—”

“I’m going to Katelyn’s for Christmas,” Aaron answered. “That’s really not your doing.”

“Aw, you are sentimental!”

“Fuck off.”

Neil bit on his tongue and tugged on his armbands under his shirt just as Nicky called, “Wait, help me convince him, please!”

“Alright,” he said, opening the door right in Nicky’s face. “What do you want?”

“I’ve literally talked about nothing else in the past two days,” Nicky said. “there’s a Christmas market in town.”

“You’re going back to Germany in two days.”

“So?”

“So, the Christmas markets are way better over there than in the middle of South Carolina, everyone knows that,” Aaron said from the nearby kitchen, voicing Neil’s thoughts.

“Oh, come on,” Nicky said. “If I don’t force you to do your Christmas shopping now no one of you will have presents for the Secret Santa when we get back. Don’t roll your eyes, you know I’m right.” Nicky gestured to the living room, where they could hear the sounds of an old exy rerun. “Even Kevin drew a name, and he’ll spend his break with Abby and Coach, when will he have time to shop?”

“You do know that Amazon exists, don’t you,” Aaron said.

For once, Neil was glad for Aaron and his dislike of any activities that forced him to spend too much time sober and out of the court with the rest of the Foxes. He didn’t even have to prepare counter-arguments for Nicky’s ridiculous propositions.

“Oh, come on,” Nicky said, with a frustrated gesture. “I want to go, I think it could be fun, and I don’t wanna spend the first day of my vacation holed up in the house. Why can’t we decide to consider it instead of fighting my ideas all the time?”

Aaron didn’t say anything. Kevin’s head disappeared back into the living room. Neil looked at Nicky and weighted pros and cons, then threw logic out of the window.

“I’ve never been to a Christmas market when I was in Germany,” he said.

Nicky beamed.

Once Neil was on board, the others were too: Aaron because he didn’t want to stay alone with Andrew, and Kevin because he claimed he had nothing else to do. Neil glanced at the TV when he passed into the den: it was an old rerun of UPenn being slaughtered by the Ravens. He wondered how Kevin had held twenty-three minutes before bursting, then he grudgingly upped Dobson one step on his mental esteem scale. Kevin had still been struggling with Riko’s death and the fall of the Ravens at the beginning of the semester: but the therapist Dobson had recommended and Kevin forced himself to see seemed to be doing her job.

Neil went upstairs to let Andrew know they were going while the others looked around for their coats and money. He knocked on the bedroom’s closed door but knew he would come bearing old news: noise from downstairs floated clearly into Andrew’s room, even with a closed door.

“We’re going,” Neil said anyway, stepping up to the bed where Andrew laid, eyes on his phone. “I don’t suppose I can ask you to accompany us?”

Andrew leveled him with a flat look but scooted up the bed when Neil sat down, giving him some room.

“What are you doing?” Neil asked, forgetting for a moment that the others were waiting downstairs. He never saw Andrew on his phone: he was almost the only person Andrew ever messaged, and his calls were always brief and to the point.

“Playing,” Andrew said, and held up the phone. There was a sound almost immediately and the screen flashed with the usual message: “Game over! Click to try again.”

Andrew pressed a button, then sat up on his elbow and inclined the phone so Neil could see the screen. A little line started moving across the screen, turning left or right with Andrew’s command. He recognized the game as a mind-numbing pastime he’d played for a short time as a child, before his mother beat the message into him that phones were for emergencies only. He watched as Andrew narrowly avoided colliding the two extremities of the snake that had progressively grown longer. The other Foxes would have a fit if they saw it: they moaned about Neil’s old dinosaur phone enough.

Andrew held out the phone to Neil when he lost, almost a full minute later. Neil clicked as per the instructions on the screen, but he lasted almost no time at all. He blinked at the screen, watching his snake eat its own tail with surprising disappointment.

“Do you think it’s on my phone too?” he asked, because he’d been working on processing through his most mundane thoughts and desires.

“Yes,” Andrew said. He took back the phone but didn’t load another game, placing it closed on the bed next to him.

Neil realized Andrew was still half-sitting up, looking up at Neil with that slow, intense look he got sometimes. Because he wanted to, Neil leaned down and stopped a hair-width away from Andrew’s mouth, waiting for him to close the distance. Andrew’s lips were slightly chapped but soft against Neil’s mouth. He leaned away when he heard Aaron trudging up the stairs and pass their door on the way to his room.

“You should drink more water,” he said, looking at the empty chocolate mug on the bedside table.

“You should leave before Nicky bursts in and I have to kill him,” Andrew said, settling back against his pillow. He snagged Neil’s and used it to prop his own with a pointed look.

“He wouldn’t dare,” Neil said. “I’ll bring you back something to eat.”

“Donuts.”

Neil hummed. “Glazing?”

“Powdered sugar.”

Nicky didn’t comment on Neil’s lateness as he stepped outside well after the others and took his time adjusting the driver’s seat, but he was back to chatting a mile a minute as soon as they drove out of their neighborhood. He directed Neil with imprecise indications and once forced Neil to brake so hard he almost hit his nose on Kevin’s headrest.

“You might want to park in a side street,” Nicky said as they approached the square the market was held in.

There was bumper-to-bumper traffic and barriers to create a car-free space in the streets around it, with traffic agents in reflective vests. The sight of them made Neil scowl from habit and he slipped into a side street as soon as he could, snatching up a parking spot from a family van.

“Meet back here at six?” Neil suggested as they stepped under the white wooden arch covered in fake-snow that marked the entrance.

Nicky rolled his eyes. “Neil, we all have phones here. Can yours even call?”

“It’s the only thing it can do,” Aaron said. He’d gotten the latest phone from a classmate a few weeks earlier and been insufferable about it since then. Neil had only grown more possessive of his old sturdy phone. He’d chucked it across the room or swiped it down from Andrew’s top bunk enough time to be glad the screen was small and hidden, unlike his classmates’.

“Ooh, here’s a German bakery stand,” Nicky said. “C’mon, we’ll find something for the Millers. Go shop you two!”

He left half-dragging Aaron behind him and shooing away Kevin and Neil towards the other stalls. Neil looked around. There was a decent crowd milling around, but considerably less children than he’d seen at the mall these past weeks, and the open air and small wooden kiosks gave it a more welcoming air.

“It doesn’t look too bad,” he said; Kevin threw him an almost pitying look and left towards the first stand.

Neil followed. Since he was there, he had better do what Nicky suggested and buy presents for Christmas. The problem was, Neil had never celebrated Christmas or any occasion that could have provided him with useful gift-giving skills, and he had no idea where to start.

Since the team had grown, the Foxes had opted for Secret Santa this year, and gathered money for presents for Wymack and Abby. That reduced the number of gifts Neil actually had to put thought into, but the downside of it was that he had no idea what to get Dan.

He strolled the alleys leisurely, looking at the objects displayed with curiosity spurred by boredom. He discarded the slipper stall without approaching it, stayed behind to look at the wood-carving one, and spotted the diverse food-related booths to be sure to stop by before they left.

At some point he grew cold and bought a too-sweet hot chocolate from a talkative man who tried to sell him half of his stack of chocolate. Neil refused first, then took a sip of his chocolate, almost gagging on it. He took out a twenty and left with a bulging bag of chocolate in all its state: bars, candies, irregular little rocks with nuts in them, and a can of powder for cocoa mixes.

Presents were easy, in the end, Neil thought as he continued strolling.

He saw Aaron stopped at a jewelry stand, looking at rings, and he slipped away before he could be seen, only to bump into Nicky at the honey stall.

“Neil, you’ve bought something!” he said. He already had three bags looped around his arm. “Can I see? Unless it’s for me.”

He was peering in before Neil could say no and let out a small laugh.

“Oh, Neil, you big sap,” Nicky said. He ruffled his hair and disappeared back into the crowd.

“Alright,” Neil muttered under his breath. He checked the time only to see he had a little under an hour before going back. He didn’t have a present for Dan and he was growing tired of the crowd, even though it had thinned since night had fallen. He sat down on a bench to finish his chocolate, leaving the dregs of powder at the bottom, and chucked the paper cup into the nearest bin.

Neil saw the exy racquets stuck above the kiosk’s slanted roof first, then Kevin’s coat. Neil blinked once: it wasn’t the kind of booth he’d expected to see at a Christmas market, but he guessed it made sense, since Columbia had its own collegiate and pro teams. Still, seeing Kevin engrossed with the woman at the till was just too familiar a sight that Neil wondered for a brief moment if Kevin’s presence had conjured the stall into existence. He huffed and joined Kevin at the glove shelf.

“Unless you drew my name, that’s not where you’ll find a Christmas gift.”

Kevin didn’t even jump, although he was absorbed in a big tag sewn onto one of the gloves. Neil didn’t fault him for seeking familiarity: he’d had almost as few occasions for holidays celebrations as Neil in his life.

“I got Allison,” he said.

“Then you really need to find another booth.”

“I’ve already got a present for her,” Kevin snapped. “Did you think I was there all this time?”

“Yes.”

Kevin didn’t roll his eyes, but it looked like a near-thing.

“I’m looking for Thea.”

Neil glanced around at the gear spread in display. It wasn’t particularly impressive, but there was quality brands and original designs, which Neil supposed could appeal to some people.

“It’s not very romantic,” he said after a while, because he thought that it was something Allison and her relationship advice would say. Or maybe not. He wasn’t very good at this.

“What did you get Andrew?”

“His weight in chocolate,” Neil answered, holding up the bag though he knew Kevin would disapprove. Sure enough, the frown on Kevin’s forehead deepened. “He likes chocolate.”

“Thea likes exy.”

There was no arguing with that kind of logic, so Neil admired a pile of exy-shaped stress balls in leather, noting the irregularities and the little tag that said they were handmade. He’d turned on keyrings when Kevin finally brought a pair of gloves to the till, taking in the astronomical price without blinking.

The gloves weren’t functional, not fitting any of the ERC’s regulations on color and design, but Neil thought maybe that wasn’t the point. Kevin was very gentle when he slid the wrapped present into a bag, smoothing down the awkward bulk of it.

“Find me a donut stand,” Neil told Kevin as they slipped back into the market’s crowd.

Kevin sighed but did as he was told, using his height to point Neil into the right direction, and didn’t say anything as they watched the donut deep fry before them.

“So who did you draw?” Kevin asked. It was only a quarter to six, so they loitered close to the entrance.

“Dan,” Neil said. “And no, I’m not buying her something exy-related.”

“I was going to say Foxes, not exy,” Kevin protested.

“She’s always taking pictures,” Neil thought out loud. “Maybe a camera?”

He looked around, hoping to conjure an electronics stand the same way he’d thought Kevin had done with the exy stall, but the market mostly sold hand-crafted pieces.

“That’s above budget,” Kevin said. “But I can tell you where to look.”

Neil was surprised for the second it took him to remember Kevin’s old room at Evermore, the postcards and the labelled pictures on the shelves above his bed. He hadn’t seen a camera there, but it could have been hidden, or destroyed. Why hadn’t Kevin still gotten a new one? He’d replaced most of the history books he’d left. But PSU wasn’t an ideal photographic destination; Kevin had mostly taken photos of his travels with Riko and his different teams, historical landmarks. Neil remembered Greek ruins and the bitter thought that their experience of Greece must have been a very different one.

“You should get a new camera,” he said.

Kevin glanced at him. His surprise was obvious, but misplaced.

“After,” he said. It sounded repeated, like a mantra or a promise.

He was scanning the crowd for Nicky or Aaron when he saw a woman with her daughter, stopped a few paces away from Kevin and Neil so the mother could check her phone. Neil waited until she looked up, then approached her.

“Excuse me,” he said, watching her watch him. He repressed the urge to turn away and hide from the stares; his burns looked old by now, but the scars were still unsettling for most people. Then, because he knew what he looked like and understood a mother’s protectiveness, he added: “Did you buy those slippers here?”

The woman was taken aback, but she pointed him towards the slippers stall he had dismissed earlier and left as soon as Neil turned away.

“You managed the gear orders with Coach last year,” Neil said to Kevin as soon as he was within earshot. “What shoe size is Dan?”

“Seven.” Then, satisfied, “and I told you to go for foxes.”

Neil batted a hand at him and hurried to the stall. It was blessedly empty, and Neil wasted no time in spotting the pair of padded fox-shaped slippers he’d seen in the little girl’s bags. Dan had been complaining about their cold dorms since November: apparently heat was more or less broken in the girls’ dorm. He bought the pair in the right size, checked that it was in good condition, and jogged back the entrance arch, where he could see Aaron’s blonde hair and Nicky’s yellow scarf glow under the streetlights.

“There you are!” Nicky said as he joined them. He had three more bags in his hand. Neil was pretty sure Erik’s family wasn’t that big and wondered if he would have to go back and get Nicky a gift, too. “And you’ve got new bags, too! Honestly, I thought you’d be the first one to be done with this.”

“I was,” Neil said, but Nicky was already chattering away, opening his bags to show him what he’d bought Erik’s family.

Neil was impressed despite himself: he’d seen each stall three times, but he hadn’t realized how many random little objects they held until Nicky was fishing them out of his bag one by one. Where Neil had seen mugs and keyrings, Nicky found unique pieces and explained in great detail why it would make the perfect gift. Neil began to rethink his previous belief that the warm coat Nicky had given him last year had been a coincidence with the fact he hadn’t had anything warmer than a hoodie in his wardrobe.

Aaron had to physically lead Nicky out of the way of a pole at one point, but they made their way to the car without major incident and all of Nicky’s purchases safely inside his overflowing bags. They stashed their bags in the trunk of the car and quickly got in, relishing the gradually warmer air blowing from the vents. Perhaps Nicky had gotten Neil gloves this year: he hadn’t thought of buying any and he’d gotten used to South Carolina’s mellow winters.

Neil took out his phone when he felt it vibrate in his pocket, unsurprised when he saw it was from Andrew. There were only two words, but Neil smiled when he read them: I’m hungry.

Back in ten, he sent back, and checked to make sure Kevin was holding the donut bag so it didn’t open and roll around the car; he’d promised Andrew, after all.

#aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #neil josten #kevin day #andreil #honestly idk what this is #just take it away from me #my writing

[rewritingthestars]

And I thought, Today Has Been Okay

Read on Ao3

The pavement went in and out in blurry vision as Chris, (Alex, his name was Alex now) sat on the curb trying to catch his breath and will the blood seeping out of a freshly made knife wound back into his body. C- Alex shudders as nausea and dizziness overcome his being. He wraps his arms tightly around his stomach, putting pressure on the injury while keeping his head between his knees to prevent himself from vomiting.

A thin but bruising hand on his shoulder makes him jerk his head up to meet his mother's eyes. Another wave of nausea strikes him and his head drops again. The grip on his shoulder tightens and Alex forces himself not to gasp.

"What do you think you are dong Alex?" His mother's words sound quiet and concerned to anyone who passes by but Alex can hear the underlining anger and the threat that lingers. "Are you alright?"

His mother leans in close like a mother would do to check a child's injuries, but the voice whispering harshly in his ear is on the edge of violence. "Stand up. You're creating a scene."

Alex tries hard not to shudder at the thought of standing up. "Mom-" Alex chokes out, before another hand grabs his arm and he nearly can't keep the yelp down as her hand squeezes another one of his wounds.

"No. You are fine Alex, look at me, look at me. I have a bullet wound in my stomach and I can walk just fine. You are going to stand up, and we are going to get into the car, and you will not disobey me again. Understood?"

There was no room for argument. Alex nodded.

"Good. Now what do you say when I ask you if you're alright?"

Alex gritted his teeth and stood up despite the blood he can feel run down his abdomen.

"I'm fine." He says in an almost steady voice, loud enough for nosy bystanders to hear. "It could have been worse."

"Yes," His mother says, mostly to herself as she strokes the side of his face protectively, "It could have been worse."

-----------------------------------------------------------

It was a bullet to the side. A knife in his chest. It was his mother's fingertips bruised into his arms, yelling at him to run, to keep going, that he was okay as long as he could still breathe. He was fine, he was fine. He burned his mother's body with cold blood in his veins and dry eyes. He buried his mother's ashes under piles of burner phones and loose sand.

"You're fine." Ben (Neil, he was Neil now), mumbles to himself later, a hollow stare to the night sky and a binder full of contacts and cash, "It could be worse." Because it could be, it could be.

He was breathing. He was okay.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"You are not fine." Wymack says, under cursed breath and a bottle of whiskey.

"You are not fine." Matt says, disbelief in his eyes and horror in his stare.

"You are not fine." Allison says, a scoff in her voice and an annoyed perk of her lips.

"You are not fine." Dan says, in exasperation and doubt.

"You are not fine." Kevin says, anger dashing each word and pain in his hand.

"You are not fine." Renee says, but only with her eyes and a sad knowing smile.

"You are not fine." Nicky says, with a slight laugh in his voice but concern on his face.

"You are not fine." Aaron says, irritated and mocking.

"You are not fine." Andrew says, a phone in his hand and a promise on his lips.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"I'm fine." Neil says automatically, and immediately winces at the glares he receives.

"My ribs are a bit sore but they're not that bad. Really." Neil rushes to say before Kevin attempts to murder him along side the rest of his friends. The glares lessen in intensity but still remain.

"You're going to Abby's come on." Dan says with a wave of her hand.

Neil stares at her confused. "But I just told you they aren't that bad."

Nicky snorts,"Yeah, and that's basically Neil speak for broken bones."

"It's really not that big of a-" He tries, before he feels a tug on his sleeve and looks over to meet Andrew's bored eyes.

"Go get checked out before you say something that'll make me want to kill you." Andrew's voice is void of emotion but his grip on Neil's sleeve tightens ever so slightly. "The court will still be here when you get back, junkie."

Something loosens inside Neil and he sighs annoyed. "Fine, alright." And let's Dan drag him out, ignoring the knowing looks and money that's passed to Allison.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"I'm fine." Neil says, laying down on the couch, head a half inch from where Andrew's thigh is. Neil feels a sting on his forehead and opens his eyes to glare at Andrew who still hasn't looked away from his book.

"Hey! I was being serious."

"You were being stupid." Andrew flips a page.

Neil scowls, "I mean it though." Neil sits up and turns to face Andrew. He reaches for the book slowly and careful not to touch his hands. Andrew raise a brow at him but allows Neil to take it.

"I'm okay. I think," Neil takes a shallow breath, "I think I'm more than okay."

Andrew stares at him blankly for a long moment before sighing and grabbing his book from Neil's hands. "Like I said, stupid."

For a second Neil thinks that's the end of that but Andrew sets the book aside on a nearby table.

"Yes or no?"

"Yes." Neil breathes.

Andrew cups his face in his hands, " I hate you."

Neil smiles, "I know."

Andrew's eyes soften for just a moment before he growls, "Idiot." And presses his lips against Neil's.

Something blossoms in Neil's chest. It feels surprisingly a lot like happiness.

I'm fine. I'm better than fine. And for once it rang true.

#andreil #tfc #my fic #past child abuse #Neil 'Im fine i just have a bullet in my spleen' Josten #old repost