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catgirlthecrazy · 3 years

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AO3

A follow up to my earlier post about not nearly enough CR fics using the Dream spell.

****

Long distance relationships, Caleb decided, could really suck balls sometimes. Teleportation wasn't always practical, and even with the ability to send messages across the Divine Gate itself… nothing could quite compare to the joys of simply being with the one you loved.

He closed the door to his apartment with a sigh. A chorus of demanding meows greeted him, and couldn't help but smile. Felix the ginger tabby flopped on his belly exposed in a plaintive demand for pets. Agatha the tuxedo shorthair leapt from a chair straight onto his back, draping herself like a very heavy scarf. Bran Uss the tortoiseshell padded up him, shrieking loud comments. "Hello my darlings," Caleb murmured in Zemnian. He crouched down to give them their demanded attention. "I'm sorry it's just me tonight. Essek had to leave, and I don't know when he'll be back."

For a time, Caleb let himself bask in the distraction of feeding and petting three noisy, demanding cats. Soft fur under his fingers and warm purring in his ears soothed the ache in his soul. At least no matter what happened, he would never come home to an empty house.

He was half way through preparing his own dinner when Essek's voice entered his mind.

Found a hiding place. Am safe for now. Thanks again for the warning. Any news on that bounty hunter? Give the cats my regrets.

Caleb smiled despite himself. Even in a straightforward request for information, hearing Essek's voice felt like a lifeline. "No word yet. Not sure they're really even in the city, but Beau and I will keep looking. The cats miss you terribly."

It was Beau who'd first given them the warning. Agents of the Cobalt Soul had heard an interesting report. One of Wildemount's highest paid bounty hunters, a drow woman known to work both sides of the Ashkeeper Peaks, had (possibly) arrived in Rexxentrum in disguise that week. It could have been rumor. Nothing more than paranoid denizens of the Rexxentrum underworld, spreading tales. It could have been true, but unrelated to Essek. He was far from the only person in Rexxentrum that someone with money might want found.

But Essek hadn't evaded capture this long by taking foolish risks. Five minutes after Caleb Sent to him, he was gone, off to one of several bolt holes scattered across Exandria.

As Caleb retrieved a bowl for the soup, he noticed the elegant purple bottle tucked away in the back of the cabinet. The label depicted a stylized figure of a drow woman dancing with a sword, silver hair long enough to obscure her naked body. It was just about impossible to find on this side of Wynandir. And this vintage was especially rare. Even in Rosohna, the merchants charged prices that would have made even Beau's family blush.

He'd planned to surprise Essek with the bottle tonight. An anniversary present. Caleb's husband didn't miss much about his homeland, but he'd made more than one wistful comment about the virtues of moonberry wine. Not for the first time, it struck Caleb as horribly ironic that he, an obvious Empire citizen, could walk freely under Rosohna's eternally dark sky, while Essek, a son of one of the Dynasty's ruling Dens, could only do so in disguise and at great personal risk. But if it helped him buy gifts for his husband, then Caleb wouldn't complain.

This gift would have to wait, though. There was no telling when it would be safe for Essek to come back to Rexxentrum. Nor could Caleb go to him. By mutual agreement, Essek never told him where any of his bolt holes were, and Caleb never asked. If anyone thought to ask Caleb where Essek might be hiding, it was safer for all concerned if he could truthfully answer I don't know.

Caleb ate his dinner without much enthusiasm, trying to ignore the ache in his heart. It felt like homesickness, without ever leaving home. Caleb was deep into his morose thoughts some hours later, when Essek sent to him again. I have a new spell I think could help us. Could you Send to me when you're about to sleep? Do not use the Tower.

Caleb's eyebrows shot up. That was interesting. What spell could Essek have that could help them that required Caleb to be asleep? And that Essek could cast from possibly half a world away?

He cleared his throat. "Ja, I can do that. I plan to read for a bit, but I'll probably be in bed in an hour or two." He didn't bother asking what the spell was. He didn't want to make Essek use up more spell slots on Sending, and odds were it would be too complicated to explain in 25 words anyways.

Still, Caleb entertained himself by trying to guess what Essek might be planning. If Caleb needed to be asleep, that implied it targeted him in some way. Essek was not in Rexxentrum, probably not even on Wildemount, so whatever it was could also affect him over vast distances. But if Essek specifically needed him to not be in the Tower, that implied it couldn't cross planar boundaries. It also couldn't be harmful in any way, or else Essek wouldn't be testing it on him. Caleb didn't flatter himself that he knew every spell ever invented, but the number that fit all those criteria wasn't high. It was an interesting puzzle that kept him occupied for the rest of the evening.

As Caleb got ready for bed, he wondered if that wasn't the point. Essek probably guessed how Caleb was feeling, and he knew that a good intellectual problem was one of the few things that could reliably distract him from his melancholy moods. The thought soothed some of the ache in Caleb's heart.

"I'm in bed now, Schatz," Caleb sent as he tucked himself beneath the covers. Various cats arranged themselves on the covers around him. Felix mrrped, tail twitching. He was probably annoyed that his favorite sleeping spot, wedged between Caleb and Essek's bodies, was unavailable. "I'll be asleep soon. Will I be able to tell if you've cast your spell?"

Essek's reply was short and simple. You'll know.

***

The first thing Caleb was aware of after closing his eyes, was the sound of a crackling fire. Not the monstrous inferno that sometimes haunted his nightmares, but a warm, friendly flame that lived in a hearth. He blinked his eyes, and found himself staring out a window at a familiar landscape. Majestic white mountains all around a lush valley, a city nestled at the base, a castle lording above it like a shepherd over the flock. At the town's center, a magnificent tree, branches reaching towards the sun, crowned with leaves red and yellow and gold.

Caleb knew that view. He'd been here before. He turned and saw a familiar room: large roaring fireplace, comfortable couches, thick fit dog, sturdy writing desk under the window. On the wall, someone had hung a chalkboard and filled it with complex magical equations in two sets of handwriting. A familiar dark coat hung by the door.

Caleb knew that view. He'd been here before. He turned and saw a familiar room: large roaring fireplace, comfortable couches, thick fur rug, sturdy writing desk under the window. On the wall, someone had hung a chalkboard and filled it with complex magical equations in two sets of handwriting. A familiar dark coat hung by the door.

It was the cottage that Essek had rented after fleeing Vurmas. The one Caleb had visited him in after his first semester teaching. Their first proper vacation as a couple.

Except… it couldn't be. Essek had abandoned this place years ago. New tenants would have moved in, put their own stamp on the place over his.

Hesitantly, Caleb reached out to touch the nearest solid thing- a thick, brightly colored blanket draped on the couch. The coarse wool felt rough and textured against the pads of his fingers. Exactly as he remembered.

Some details were wrong though. The landscape painting over the mantle was an impressionist blur, but the original had been marvelously detailed. The window was a bit wider than Caleb remembered. The wool blanket was a simple red-and-yellow checker pattern, when it should have been a more complex tartan.

"Am I dreaming?" That Caleb could even ask himself that question suggested not. But he couldn't think of any other explanation.

Caleb hadn't expected an answer, but he got one anyway.

"In a sense, yes. But you are right that this is not a normal dream."

Caleb whirled around to see Essek floating behind him. He hadn't been there a moment ago. He was dressed in clothes that Caleb didn't recognize. Vaguely Marquesian in style, looking decidedly out of place against the mountain lodge decor.

"That's… that's really you, isn't it?" Caleb reached out a hand hesitantly, then stopped. What if he was wrong? What if Essek puffed away in a cloud of dream smoke at the first touch?

Essek solved his dilemma by taking Caleb's hand in his. Long, slender fingers felt wonderfully warm and solid against Caleb's calloused knuckles. "It's me. This is not a creation of your mind. I've picked up a new spell. One that lets me enter your dreams."

Caleb suppressed a wince. "That was a risky thing to do, Schatz. My dreams are not always as pleasant as this."

Essek looked at him fondly, fingers tracing tender circles on the back of his hand. "It also lets me shape your dreams as I see fit. So long as I am here, I hope to make your dreams nothing but pleasant."

Caleb let that sink in. This room, this place… it hadn't come from Caleb's mind. It came from Essek's. No wonder some details were wrong. Essek didn't have Caleb's perfect memory.

He'd gotten the important parts right, though. "Is that why you've gone and recreated our honeymoon?"

"You pour so much of your heart into your magic." Essek looked down at his feet and shrugged shyly. "I wanted to do the same for you, to the best of my small ability."

Caleb pulled Essek's hands up to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to his knuckles. From the way Essek shivered, this felt as real to him as it did to Caleb. "You've done beautifully, Schatz. How long do we have?"

"A little less than eight hours, or until you wake up. Whichever comes first."

Caleb sucked in a breath. He'd been expecting the answer to be ten minutes, or maybe an hour if they were lucky. Relatively few spells lasted longer than that. Eight hours, though? With nowhere else to be? Nothing else to do? That felt like walking into a restaurant expecting to pay for a quick bite, only to be informed you were actually getting a three course meal, on the house. "Can you teach me this spell?"

Essek's smile was sweet, but full of regret. "I can, next time we meet in the waking world. But I should warn you that you will not be able to contact me with it, as elves do not dream in the way required by the spell."

Well, that was disappointing. Reluctantly, Caleb shelved a dozen half formed fancies of returning the favor to Essek at some future date. That didn't make the spell comfortably useless though. There were others Caleb loved who were often half a world away, and teleportation wasn't always practical. "Wait… if elves do not dream, then how are you able to cast this spell at all?"

"The caster does not sleep themselves while performing this spell. I am currently in a trance-like state, but I will still need to rest properly when we are done."

Caleb imagined Essek, sitting cross-legged as he sometimes did when he tranced, alone in a room. The image sent a bolt of fear up his spine. "Are you sure that's wise? A lot of very dangerous people are looking for you. What if they come upon you like this?" Unbidden, the image of bounty hunters circling a catatonic Essek like foxes around a limping rabbit filled his mind. Instinctively, he gripped Essek's hands tighter.

"I am still aware of my physical surroundings. I can end the spell at a moment's notice if I need to. And I have taken certain other precautions, to ensure I am not caught unawares."

Caleb did his best to internalize that. Essek had been successfully evading those who hunted him for years. In fact, at this point he probably had more practice at it than Caleb ever had. If he thought he was safe enough to try this, then he was. "Ok," Caleb said. "If you must end this spell early without explanation, I will understand. Just send to me when you are safe again, ja?"

Essek nodded. "Truth be told, I was looking forward to exploring the precise limits of this spell with you in person." His face fell slightly, pulling Caleb's heart with it. "I am sorry I could not be here with you. I know how much you looked forward to tonight."

"It is what it is. We knew it might be like this when we got married." Caleb pulled Essek in for a hug. He felt so warm and solid under Caleb's touch. "Besides: you are here. In all the ways that matter."

Essek trembled as he returned the hug. "Light, it's like I'm actually holding you. Does it feel as real to you as it does to me?"

"Ja." Caleb buried his nose in the crook of Essek's neck. Gods beyond, even the smell was right: subtle perfume, old paper, and the faint ozone of recent magic.

Long distance relationships still sucked balls. But with a little patience, and a little magic, Caleb could bear it. Essek was worth it.

#critical role #shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #my post #my fanfic #cr2

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utilitycaster · 3 years

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Wizard Breakdown Tracker #3, episode 133

Greetings and salutations to the exercise I have set upon myself, which is to say deciding the relative mental stability of Wizard NPCs who have been subjected to the Mighty Nein. My intent is to do this at least until Trent Ikithon has fucked off this mortal coil and/or been thoroughly deposed and humiliated.

As a reminder Caleb Widogast is a member of the Mighty Nein and a PC and therefore excluded from these calculations. Wizards who haven’t been seen or heard from lately and about whom I don’t have anything funny to say about will not get a full blurb, but as they re-enter the main narrative so will they re-enter the list. Currently, this is the Essek Thelyss Show ft. Trent and the Volstruckers with guest appearances by Yussa and Allura.

Currently sidelined: Oremid Hass, Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk (I am going to reuse this stupid joke name for him until it doesn’t make me laugh at my own joke anymore, which will probably be never), Pumat Sol (who I hope is having a great day), Ludinus Da’leth (who I hope is not but in true laissez-faire rat bastard form, probably is).

Vess D wasn’t there/morning time in Eiselcross or at her job or anywhere/they snuck in and took her life/and we noticed that her spellbook’s gone and that she’s covered in red eyes.

Trent Ikithon: Okay with the caveat that it’s been a very long time since I saw the entire movie and our only update is Artagan taking a moment from his busy schedule of traveling the globe in the direction of the sun such that he is always technically day-drinking to tell Jester that Trent’s biding his time, I’m getting real Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Frollo vibes. Except instead of Catholicism and lust, it’s nationalism and an unquenchable thirst for power and control, and also he does not feel guilty in the slightest. He’s not at Hellfire levels yet but he will get there and I am slightly disappointed that due to the constraints of a D&D game we do not get an even more fucked up version of the song Hellfire.

Conclusion: 6/10. Slowly stepping it up. Also here’s the great thing: while we know Caleb is going to come after him next, he doesn’t, and the Nein didn’t tell any world governments about the threat of the city unless you count the Tal’Dorei Council via Allura, which means for all intents and purposes they just disappeared into Eiselcross...except Trent also knows Caleb disappeared for five or six years once before and reports of his death were greatly exaggerated. If Caleb weren’t dedicated to the noble goal of ending the Volstrucker program ASAP, he could just chill for a year or so and then pull a really stellar Surprise Bitch move and maybe just get Trent’s heart to explode.

Essek Thelyss: He got a good night’s trance and weird physical affection from a giant ape Caleb and he was healed by Caduceus and he had a serious conversation with the first true peer and one of the first friends he’s ever known about how high-level wizardry may not necessarily corrupt absolutely. And, of course, soup. I mean they are about to head into a terrible battle but he’s at full health and spells and he’s a valued member of the team and his friends love him SO MUCH.

Conclusion: 5/10. There is a distinction between a breakdown and being in a very high pressure situation, and he got some nice moments of respite this week. With that said do I think that post-battle, should he survive (HE BETTER) a whole lot of anxiety will come crashing back? Yeah.

Astrid Beck: With Trent in a holding pattern he’s got to be turning up the mind games on her; I have to imagine he suspects and then she suspects that he suspects and it’s a whole mess, but I’ve said that already. But also just like, in general, I think her speech to Caleb back when he first contacted her was genuine in many ways and specifically I think she was likely to have been Trent’s New Golden Child and then suddenly that got yanked out from under her for still more mind games; I think her difference in demeanor between that meeting and the dinner was partially Trent being present, but partially her having realized in the interim that she will likely never have anything to show for two decades of pain and doing terrible things and nonstop bullshit.

Conclusion: still keeping her at 8/10 until further notice but like. Astrid’s having a bad time.

Um actually Eadwulf is the monster? The hero’s name is Grendel: Okay meanwhile here’s my totally unsupported Eadwulf headcanon of this week which is that he meanwhile always knew he was not the favorite and probably never would be and while I doubt he ever had particularly noble goals I would not be surprised if he had an exit strategy. Personally I hope he tries card-counting in that casino in Ank’harel and gets kicked out posthaste and then tries being a wizard/some kind of divine caster multiclass in Vasselheim and also gets kicked out but finally becomes like an old-school hermit figure somewhere in the woods of Issylra and Campaign 3′s party runs into him.

Conclusion: also keeping him at 4/10 until further notice.

Allura Vyesoren: It’s time to acknowledge that this episode covered a span of like...8 hours? And presuming the Nein are sort of trying to keep a normal sleep schedule, maybe, and using a comparison of Eiselcross being at a comparable time zone to say, Nicodranas, and it’s 5 hours into the night for them, and we know that around mid-day for Nicodranas was early morning for Emon...honestly she’s probably relaxing with a glass of wine. Unless Wensforth contacted her.

Conclusion: I’m going to let Allura have a good day. She’s at 2/10 because the threat of Aeor will be in the back of her mind but also she’s seen a bunch of idiots kill dragons and Vecna and they didn’t even have a wizard.

Yussa Errenis: Experiencing a great disturbance in the Astral Sea, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and then just like, kept doing that.

Conclusion: I decided to really go all out last week on the infinity jokes and left myself nothing to go on, huh. Anyway this breakdown goes to 11 (out of 10).

#me looking at the pitiful handful of non-STEM courses I took in college: is this a potential source of referential internet jokes?#critical role #critical role spoilers #wizard breakdown tracker #your musical references were no body no crime by Taylor Swift ft. Haim and obviously Hellfire from The Hunchback of Notre Dame #which is a weird pairing tbh

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