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ughitsnic · 4 years

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Nights out: Tom Holland

I just wanna say thank you for all the love on my last post i woke up to over 20 likes, thats crazy (and posting this there is over 100 what the fuck)

Before i start, if you're not from the uk you probably don't know what weatherspoons is, id describe it as the best place on earth, a cheap pub with even cheaper alcohol and great food. You always go there and get drunk before heading to any club because you're a broke uni student.

You would be lying if you said you didn't like to party, you loved to dance in the club, talk to all the girls you didn't know in the bathroom and share compliments and share lipsticks, you loved the 4am McDonalds trips or cheesy chips from the take away as you stumble home, your heels in hand, your boyfriends arm around your waist and stupid smiles on each others faces. So when Tom decided to go to one of the best clubs in town for your birthday you couldn't say no. Of Course it always started out in weatherspoons, the dirt cheap alcohol always meant it was going to be a great night and tonight wasn't going to be any different.

"Could we get a couple more rounds of shots please?" Tom asks the guy at the bar. He was already past the point of tipsy, his smile never falling from his face.

"You're-so-beautiful" you say in between kisses, resting your hand on his cheek. "I looove you" you drag out.

"I love you too" his brown eyes full of love, giving you another short but sweet kiss. The bartender slides over the tray full of different coloured shots.

You barely made it back to the crowded table without spilling a single drink.

“Alright, three each” Tom says, handing them out to everyone. You line up your little glasses. “Ready?” tom questions, a chorus of yeses erupt from the table. You quickly throw them back, taking no time to breathe, yet Harrison had beat you.

“Nice try” he laughs, wiping his mouth.

“It's my birthday, you have to let me win. Lets go again” you shout, but the song playing quickly distracted

"I love this song!" Harrison shouts standing up, rain by aitch playing

“When we run down its rain, right wrist and left wrist that's rain! She said wagwan what's goin on? Why ma wet? Girl, that's rain!” you both shout at each other dancing in your seats, you

"Who's ready to hit the clubs?" You weren't sure who was talking but you quickly finish your drink and grab your back and toms hand.

Standing out in the cold waiting to get into, your instagram story very quickly filled up with drunk selfies and videos

"Are you cold?" Tom questions, referring to your short black dress, luckily you wasn’t all the alcohol in your system keeping you warm enough.

"You're such a gentleman" you laugh. "You don't even have a jacket to give me"

"I do i'm wearing- oh yeah i dont" he smiles.

“Bro, you're so drunk” Harry laughs as you move to the front of the queue.

Most of the night was spent dancing, toms hands on your swaying hips. The music was so loud you could feel the bass in your bones as you dance you hands in the air as your ass grinds against tom

"Are you having fun" tom spins you round, pulling you back against him.

"I think we could go have some more fun" you tell him, resting your arms around his neck

"What?" He couldn't hear you over the music

"I said i think we can have some more fun!" You shout at him this time louder.

"What? Whos dumb?" He looked confused, you roll your eyes.

"Lets go have sex!" You shout, he looks at you for a second before it sets in, a devilish smirk appears on his face, he definitely heard you this time. He takes you hand and leads you through all the sweaty bodys on the dance floor towards the empty hallway

"Harrison, hi!" You smile.

“Hey man” Tom's other hand resting on your hip, giving it a squeeze. You look past him

"Where are you going?" he looks at you both skeptically

"Toilet" you claim, stepping by and pulling tom into the guy's toilet. Harrison quickly pulls you back, shutting down your plan.

"You cant have sex in the toilets" he laughs.

"Why not"

"It's gross" to which Tom agrees, but despite this you still couldn't keep your hands off him, his lips on your neck as your hips swayed to the music. You let out a soft moan as he places wet open mouth kisses on your collar bone.

You all knew it was the end of the night as Mr brightside blasts from the speakers, everyone shouting the words together, jumping to the music.

Your feet were killing as you walked down the empty streets to the 24 hour McDonalds, using Tom's shoulder to help you walk even though he wasn't very stable on his own feet swaying as you walked into the building.

"Can i have a milkshake, no a mcflurry the Oreo one please and a share box of nuggets please"

"Sure what sauce would you like?"

"I don't know" you sigh.

"Get BBQ" Tom suggests. "And get me a cheeseburger please, and some chicken selects" he rests his head on your shoulder. "And a milkshake please" you laugh as he continues to add more items to your order

Your food came out before everyone else's so you happily stood and ate your ice cream.

“I love our nights like this, please don't get anymore famous otherwise we can't do this anymore” you were all sat on the curb waiting for an uber.

“I just hope no one got videos of you two dancing, that wasn't very pg” Harrison laughs to himself. You rest your head against his Toms shoulder finishing your nuggets.

“Right, I'm ready for bed” you announce, clapping your hands and getting up watching the uber come down the road. The drive home was quiet, you all were exhausted and struggling to keep your eyes open.

“Did you have a good birthday babe-”

“Can you turn this song up? I love it” Harry interrupts, it was fourfiveseconds which quickly led to you all singing along. The real reason you loved nights out was the moments like this, everyone chilled out; it felt like home as you all exchanged glances, smiles on your faces before bursting into fits of laughter as someone hits the wrong note or at someone's voice breaks.

“I did by the way” you confess to your boyfriend as he fiddles with the key in the door struggling to unlock it.

“What?” he looks down at you.

“I did have a good birthday”

I miss going out drinking so much it aint even funny

My requests are open i will pretty much write for anyone, i also reblogged a prompt list so yeh

also i hated this but i spent so many hours on it so i thought id post it anyway sorry, im just gonna stick to little blurbs n stuff

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine

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deadcactuswalking · 3 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 24/04/2021 (AJ Tracey, Young Thug/Gunna/Drake)

On this week on the UK Singles Chart, we get a well-deserved break after last week’s chaos but we still have seven or so new arrivals – half of last week’s amount. Lil Nas X’s “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)” is unfazed by any of it as it spends a fourth week at #1, and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

So last week was busy but a lot of what debuted and returned didn’t actually sustain so we have a plentiful amount of drop-outs and returning entries this week as well. For notable drop-outs – as in songs that had peaked in the top 40 or spent at least five weeks in the chart (specifically the UK Top 75, which I cover) – we have “Anyone” by Justin Bieber, Drake’s “What’s Next” after only six weeks, “What Other People Say” by Sam Fischer and Demi Lovato, Taylor Swift’s re-recorded version of “Love Story” and “Headshot” by Lil Tjay featuring Fivio Foreign and Polo G as well as the late DMX’s “X Gon’ Give it to Ya” off of the return last week.

We do have an oddly large amount of returning entries as a result of this because I guess there’s not enough new stuff to fill in the cracks, as “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles is back at #75, “Heat” by Paul Woodford and Amber Mark at #69, “Anxious” by AJ Tracey at #68 off of the album boost, “Another Love” by Tom Odell at #67 and “Cover Me in Sunshine” by P!nk and Willow Sage Heart at #62.

Then we have songs actually on the chart that are moving about – first off, let’s start with our notable losses, falling about five spots or more on the chart. We don’t have an excess of these, but we do have “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK getting ACR’d at #23, “Latest Trends” by AI x JI and remixed by Aitch at #33, “Mercury” by Dave and Kamal. off of the debut to #47 (good!), “Black Hole” by Griff at #48, “All You Ever Wanted” by Rag’n’ Bone Man at #49, “Mr. Perfectly Fine” by Taylor Swift at #50 off of the debut, as well as “Anywhere Away from Here” by Rag’n’Bone Man and P!nk also off of the debut at #51. Oh, and again, falling after last week’s debut, we have “Way Too Long” by Nathan Dawe, Anne-Marie and MoStack at #52. Other fallers that actually lasted at least one more week on the chart include “6 for 6” by Central Cee at #57, “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy at #63 and that’s about it. Also, somehow “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” by Drake featuring Rick Ross is sticking to the charts at #71 despite all of the more pop cuts off of that EP – and by that I mean the songs that aren’t six long minutes of pure rapping – dropping out. How that is I have no idea but it does bring us to our gains.

Our gains are always more interesting and we do have a fair few of them this week, like “Starstruck” by Years & Years at #56 off of the debut, “Marea (We’ve Lost Dancing)” by Fred again.. and the Blessed Madonna somehow surging up to #55 off of the debut, “Beautiful Mistakes” by Maroon 5 featuring Megan Thee Stallion at #54, “Summer 91 (Looking Back)” by Noizu at #53, “Last Time” by Becky Hill at #46, “Don’t You Worry About Me” by Bad Boy Chiller Crew at #45, “Medicine” by James Arthur at #44, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #41, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd rebounding at #40, “Runaway” by AURORA making the top 40 at #34 (six years late), “Levitating” by Dua Lipa bizarrely rebounding at #32, “Didn’t Know” by Tom Zanetti at #31 and that’s pretty much it other than big gains for Olivia Rodrigo’s “deja vu” up big to #12 and “Let’s Go Home Together” by Ella Henderson and Tom Grennan breaking into the top 10 at #10. A lot of these new entries are concentrated towards the bottom of the chart, so let’s start with something that’s actually pretty great.

NEW ARRIVALS

#74 – “How Does it Feel” – London Grammar

Produced by London Grammar and Steve Mac

London Grammar are an indie pop band from Nottingham that just scored their second #1 album with Californian Soil, one I found genuinely promising but absolutely meandering. For all of the great, swelling and powerful tracks there were – many already on the pre-album EPs and singles – there were pointless, time-consuming ballads that feel if anything underwritten and dull. My personal favourite track, “Baby it’s You”, was the lead single and it actually charted, though this cut is the highest-peaking track from the record and also, thankfully, one of my favourites. Hannah Reid has a smoky, unique voice and it always swells over these atmospheric, reverb-drenched instrumentals, full of subtle bass and those infectious guitar links before it drops into the borderline vocaloid drop in that distorted synth-pop chorus that... okay, is pretty anti-climactic and there for no reason other than to give an excuse for the band to incorporate that 80s production into the rest of the song. Regardless, it’s still a damn good production and that chorus is unreasonably catchy, even if she’s hitting falsetto notes I’d never be able to sing along to. It’s not a song that ends too early so it can stream well either; this is a pop song constructed like one of old, and is just as intricate, especially with those twinkling keys in the final chorus. This isn’t the best on the album by far but it’s understandably the one that’s the most accessible and upbeat so it makes sense it’s here. I don’t expect it to stick around but I wouldn’t mind if it did.

#73 – “Sunshine (The Light)” – Fat Joe, DJ Khaled and Amorphous

Produced by Cool N Dre and Amorphous

So, Fat Joe might be back? I’d be hard-pressed to find out way until I look at this... comeback single of sorts and realise that the chorus is just straight-up taken from a Rihanna song, that being the verse of “Kiss it Better” from 2016 layered over this almost disco-sounding sample of Luther Vandross and that’s pretty much the song as far as the beat is concerned. In that way, I guess it’s kind of fun and harmless but Rihanna’s vocals are mixed pretty horrifically on this instrumental without any attempt to cover it up with some backing vocals, which would have been a really good touch. DJ Khaled is only here because he finishes Fat Joe’s punchline and he contributes literally nothing else. In fact, Fat Joe is a waste of time here as well, especially in that really odd bridge and second verse. Admittedly, I guess his first verse has one clever line but it’s all clearly so unfocused even when the sample gives you a lot to work with in terms of content. By the time the Luther Vandross vocal sample is oddly dribbling over the beat, I’m out of this.

#72 – “Ski” – Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna

Produced by BabyWave, Outtatown and Wheezy

Slime Language 2 was a project I thought was actually fairly enjoyable given its runtime and content. I mean, it’s 23 tracks running at about an hour and a half of just mindless flexing, sex and gunplay from Young Thug and YSL affiliates but it has an energy and camaraderie that I rarely find is all that noticeable during these label or collective albums, and whilst not any particular rapper shines on more than one track, we still hear a lot of voices on the record that are far from unpleasant and can hold their own against Thug, one of them of course being Gunna. I’m surprised the songs with Travis Scott or Lil Uzi Vert didn’t debut but this Thug-Gunna cut did, but I guess that video pushed it over the top and I’m glad because this is by far one of my favourites on the album on pure, stupid and mindless energy. That camaraderie that I mentioned is in full force here as Thug and Gunna trade bars over this basic watery beat with some catchy strings and, of course, awkward bass mixing. The first intelligible words are “Spider sex” and then Thug just goes into yelling “Yeah!” because, sure, that’s a chorus. Thugger delivers his typical flow-switching charisma with a lot of loud, fun energy and whilst not anything of lyrical standard is said here, I love how he and Gunna trade each other’s names on their versions of the post-chorus. It’s a clever, little touch that makes songs like this feel just that bit more fun, if the manic ad-libs didn’t already show that. Gunna’s verse might be the best of the two here as he actually comes with some unexpected energy over that beeping synth loop that sounds great finally coming from Gunna, and, yeah, what can I say? It’s a mindless trap banger that will be out as soon as it was in – both for the charts and your ears – but it’s so much fun and with Thug’s poppier projects, that’s all that matters.

#66 – “You” – Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae

Produced by Regard

The Kosovan DJ that brought us that great remix of Jay Sean’s “Ride It” as well as original song “Secrets” with RAYE is back and bringing... Troye Sivan and Tate McRae with him. Okay, I mean, sure, maybe Regard can pump up the production to get either of these singers to sound enthused. The content is pretty basic, with the “coming back to an ex” story we’ve heard before and not much interplay between Tate and Troye – not that there can feasibly be but that’s beside the point. This isn’t all that important to a song like this, though, but it can be done so it always feels anti-climactic when these EDM songs don’t have good lyrical content anchoring its groove and catchy hooks. That said, this song is actually pretty good, trading much of the more fast-paced house grooves and minimal deep house drops for a pretty slick, almost synth-funk production with some hard-hitting 909 bass and Troye’s laid-back mumbling falsetto actually sounding pretty great over electro percussion and this blend of really cool, retro synths that aren’t afraid to sound jerky and out-of-tune in that post-chorus. They almost remind me of Plastic Beach if this isn’t that ludicrous of a comparison. Tate McRae barely exists here but that’s fine – sadly she has the only verse and her voice just doesn’t mesh that well with Troye’s outside of some of the chorus harmonising, and on its own just sounds kind of unwarrantedly raspy on pretty clean, smooth production. Regard’s addition of those distorted backing vocals and the lenient vocal manipulating in that bridge make sure you know this is intricately produced to every detail and I just love that ramping of intensity even if the final chorus doesn’t really act as that impactful climax so the song ends on kind of a low note where I can tell Regard didn’t know where to go from there. Otherwise, this is a pretty great synth-pop track and I really hope it sticks around. I knew Regard had an ear for more unique EDM production since he came onto the charts for the first time with “Ride It” so I hope to hear what’s next from him as well. For now, oh, God, please make this a hit.

#61 – “Kukoc” – AJ Tracey featuring NAV

Produced by Yung Swisher and Pxcoyo

This is our first of two songs that debuted this week from AJ Tracey’s album Flu Game, which I decided not to listen to on the basis that it was nearly an hour’s runtime with a NAV feature. It’s just my luck then that for whatever reason, the British public decided the NAV song was the second most important track to listen to when the album dropped. Well, I guess this beat isn’t bad, especially with that synth flashing over the acoustic guitar inflections and the Pop Smoke-esque rattling drill percussion creating an oddly-mixed and cluttered beat but one that I guess still hits pretty hard. NAV sounds more enthused than ever over a drill beat – maybe he should stick to that – but I still feel like this is just a pointless song. The content is primarily just flexing and AJ Tracey’s energy is there but not in a particularly likeable, charming way or in an intimidating, menacing way so he just ends up out-shined by NAV’s cheaply Auto-Tuned and simple, basic flow in his verse where he emphasises how he’s a grown man at 30 years old – yet still not showing any sign of maturity, seemingly. This is listenable for sure but at best it’s a mildly amusing drill track and at worst it’s sensory overload. The build-up is only in the intro here and it’s just full force for the next two minutes making it kind of aggravating to even listen to and keep up with. Oh, and “Kukoc” is some Croatian basketball player mentioned once in the chorus. That’s about as interesting as this content gets.

#36 – “Solid” – Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna featuring Drake

Produced by Foreign Teck, Elvas, Wheezy and OZ

It’s an unwritten rule that if you release an album, the song with Drake on it will always debut on the charts, and often particularly high. Okay, I guess it didn’t work for Drakeo the Ruler – sadly – but it did work for Slime Language 2. “Solid” which absolutely did not need the four producers it has is pretty much just the trio being as uninteresting as possible as they slide over a synth-based trap beat with, say it with me, odd bass mixing. I guess Drake’s hook is mildly catchy and the steel pans in the verses are kind of fun even if they’re there for pretty much no reason. Gunna probably delivers the best verse, if not the purest as he brags about having solid friendships, and boasts wealth over the beat which gets a lot more eerie and downbeat with Gunna over it for whatever reason, even when he’s spitting ridiculous sex bars. The best part of this as with most of the YSL label projects is the interplay between Young Thug and Gunna, as over an increasingly badly mixed beat and some slick organ licks, Thugger ends off the track with an effortless verse and... well, it sure is a trap-rap song by Young Thug, Gunna and Drake. That’s for sure. It’s not bad at all and this beat could be a lot better if there were more steel pans and better mixing, it’s just that none of these guys deliver as well as they can and like most things he’s on nowadays, Drake is the worst part of it.

#29 – “Little More Love” – AJ Tracey

Produced by Venna, Mark Raggio, RyFy and Yoz Beats

I’m surprised there’s little fanfare about this song and the album in general, especially given how big songs like “West Ten” and “Bringing it Back”. Sadly, I think this might be a case of waiting too long to get the record out or just AJ’s star fading away and towards – unfortunately – Digga D. This cut got the music video treatment and hence debuted the highest of any entries this week but it was set for a top 10 debut from the album and video boost, but just seems to have stalled. I actually think that’s pretty unfortunate as this is a great song, with that tropical guitar lick that sounds cheap when drenched in the reverb and especially when the beat comes in and it’s mixed too loudly, but that doesn’t really obscure the trap knock and groove, particularly in that chorus with AJ’s expected dead-beat delivery. That delivery really works for this song, though, as it’s about the paranoia that comes with unexpected fame and success for someone from a background of poverty. I wish the beat gave AJ more room to breathe but he still flips the typical UK flows on his verses so they’re a lot more catchy and smooth, particularly over those soulful vocal loops that come in at the same time. That second verse is pretty excellent too, as whilst it’s short, it runs through some pretty excellent flows and some interesting lines, like about how he sees himself as Che Guerava, represents his Trinidadian identity and how he’s “got God” so he and his crew don’t need to wear a bullet-proof vest, which is actually kind of profound for Tracey. The horns at the end of this beat deserve some credit for making this song great too, and with all the sounds packed into this song, I think I understand why this one has four producers, even if this cluttered mix could use halving that total.

Conclusion

This is a pretty solid week all things considered, with a lot of good to great songs, so much so that it’s difficult to give out titles. I guess Best of the Week is going to “Ski” by Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna but I’m convinced to give a three-way tie for Honourable Mention. I think I’ll just stick with giving it to Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae for “You” but it was close. Worst of the Week ends up going to “Sunshine (The Light)” by Fat Joe, Amorphous and DJ Khaled almost by default, with a Dishonourable Mention to AJ Tracey’s “Kukoc” featuring NAV, even if I still kind of like the song. Here’s our top 10 for this week:

Hopefully next week will keep this quality going, but in terms of new arrivals I can’t really make any concrete predictions other than a boost for “Save Your Tears” and hopefully an impact from Jorja Smith and Little Simz. I guess time will tell however, so thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

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drvinyl · 4 years

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The BRIT Awards 2020: The Nominations

At last the nominees for this years Brit Awards were released last night on ‘The BRITs Are Coming’ hosted by Alice Levine on ITV - which featured performances from a few of the 2020 nominees including Mabel, Aitch, Freya Ridings, Dermot Kennedy and Liam Payne.

A celebration of an exciting 2019 for music as well as a fresh and exciting era for British music in addition to the recognised international bands and artists nominated. It was no shock to see the much-loved Scottish singer-songwriter, Lewis Capaldi, up there with an incredible 4 nominations - alongside London’s own Dave, who both of which are up for Male Solo Artist, Best New Artist, Song of the Year and the prestigious Mastercard Album of the Year.

The categories are certainly not short of strong competition with the likes of Stormzy, Harry Styles and Michael Kiwanuka also nominated for Male Solo Artist and Album of the Year.

Stormzy, who won two awards back in 2017, is up for three awards including Song of the Year, alongside tracks by Ed Sheeran & Justin Bieber, Sam Smith & Normani, Mark Ronson ft Miley Cyrus, Calvin Harris & Rag ‘N’ Bone Man, Tom Walker, Dave ft Burna Boy, Mabel, Lewis Capaldi and AJ Tracey.

2018 Critics’ Choice nominee and one of last year’s biggest breakthrough artists Mabel is also up for three awards - Best New Artist, Song of the Year and Female Solo Artist, where she faces competition from Freya Ridings, FKA Twigs, Charli XCX and Mahalia.

2020 sees several acclaimed British and international artists secure their first ever BRIT nomination. Billie Eilish and Lizzo will compete for International Female Solo Artist alongside Ariana Grande, Lana Del Rey and Camilla Cabello, whilst Burna Boy, Dermot Kennedy, Tyler the Creator are shortlisted for International Male Solo Artist alongside Bruce Springsteen and Post Malone.

A celebration of the finest new artists is also celebrated with the Best New Artist category, which includes last years Critic’s Choice winner Sam Fender, alongside Lewis Capaldi, Mabel, Dave and Aitch. The groups nominated for Group Of The Year are Bastille, Bring Me The Horizon, Coldplay, D-Block Europe and Foals.

The BRIT Awards 2020 with Mastercard exclusively broadcast on ITV, Tuesday 18th February from The O2 Arena in London.

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fentonizer · 7 years

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Standing In Pecking Order

Driving brings out the worst in me. The word I like to say the most when I’m driving is “prick.” Being encased in a noisy metal shell makes me feel safe enough to hurl expletives at strangers who will never hear it. Strangers who in all likelihood would slam my stupid face in if given the opportunity.

The irony, of course, is that I’m never in more danger than when I’m on the road. 60 miles per hour is more miles per hour than god intended when he designed my squishy organs and fragile bones. Cars are actually a good proof for the non-existence of god, as there’s no evidence of any religious scripture referencing travelling faster than a horse. No commandments, no canon-law, or even Dharma. Would the Holy Spirit approve of doing 80 em-pee-aitch on the M1? We may never know.

I get the most annoyed when driving because of the sheer number of infractions perpetrated unto me daily. Not that I am the best driver, but because driving often reveals the prime-error of the human condition, namely “I will do what suits me the best.”

Why would I bother to indicate correctly around this roundabout? I can’t be bothered, it doesn’t affect me anyway, people will get the gist of my intentions after I’ve already started the manoeuvre.

I’m going to drive in the middle lane of the motorway despite the left hand lane being totally empty because I can’t be bothered to move over only to have to move back into the middle at some point in the future. Besides, there’s plenty of room to overtake me on the right if people want.

These people, these bastards, you know the type; the people who ignore the social contract. People who park in the disabled spaces at the local Co-Op because it’s closer to the door and literally nobody will ever call them out on it. Besides, they’re only going in for a minute.

The people who will jump over to the freshly opened checkout next-door, despite being behind you in the existing queue. You know what a queue is, right? You understand the social contract that we’re all abiding by here because we’re decent human beings trying to live together in harmony? We’re not standing in pecking order here.

Ethics are what we do when no-one’s watching, so imagine the black soul the person in the Vauxhall Vectra had when they blatantly and deliberately cut me up, endangering my life and the lives of other road users. Because that’s the real issue here? Not my banal internet hate, but the fact that every day, a selfish act from someone like this has a real and irreparable human toll.

Technology has, and will continue to drive our species forward at an exponential rate. Self-driving cars, smart fridges, AI doctors, all of these near-future advances will improve our lives for the better, if only because it will remove flawed human decision making. Choices like “I’m going to turn left from the inside lane because I want to get home 30 seconds quicker that I would do otherwise.”

All we’ll have to do then is somehow workaround how people act like utter fuckheads when sex may be involved, and we’ll be really getting somewhere.

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 18th August 2019

Bruh bruh bruh bruh

Top 10

For the sixth(?) week, Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello continue their surprising reign on the charts with “Senorita”, still at #1. I knew this would debut high and continue doing well due to the star power of both artists, but the longevity was somewhat unprecedented, especially considering the quality of the song.

At the runner-up spot of number-two, we still have “Beautiful People” by Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid because clearly someone in the world thinks that song has any redeemable quality.

Thankfully, however, up three spots to number-three, is coincidentally “3 Nights” by Dominic Fike (It’s his first top five), which is still probably my favourite song on the charts.

At number-four, up four from the debut, is somehow “Taste (Make it Shake)” by Aitch. I’m perplexed somewhat considering not only is this the usual genre to fall immensely after its first week, and this is some of the least interesting of that genre and scene, but there hasn’t been a remix in sight to propel Aitch’s single up until the top five.

We go back to quality with number-five, which is “Higher Love” by Kygo and Whitney Houston up four spaces this week as well. Despite the song generally being pretty decent, I do worry how the success of this will lead into a posthumous album from Whitney Houston where a bunch of EDM producers remix a couple bonus tracks and just the prospect of that sounds unlistenable.

At number-six, down one space form last week, is “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey.

Up five spots from last week in probably the most shocking advent here on the charts this week, Sam Smith’s “How Do You Sleep?” entering the top 10 at number-seven in its fourth week, becoming his 11th UK Top 10 hit. It’s the most shocking simply because there seems to be no reason for the reasonably large boost, yet it hadn’t gone Top 10 before? This is Sam Smith, it should debut in the top 10, surely? Why did it take three weeks outside of the top 10? Why is this gain so sudden? I have a lot of questions.

MIST and Fredo’s “So High” returns to the top 10 after a three-spot increase at number-eight.

Unfortunately, it brought Lewis Capaldi’s “Hold Me While You Wait” up a spot to number-nine with it.

Also returning to the Top 10 is “Take Me Back to London” by Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy up four spaces to #10, because we need more Ed Sheeran in the charts... I guess.

Climbers

The highest and most unfortunate climber is probably Lil Tecca’s “RAN$OM” up eleven spaces to #13 despite being easily one of the worst hit songs of this year, really pathetic, derivative trap-rap. Other than that mistake, there really isn’t much to speak of here at all, other than “Harder” by Jax Jones and Bebe Rexha moving up six spaces to #30 but I should stop pretending I care about that song at all. Oh, and Dermot Kennedy’s “Outnumbered”, listed by Taylor Swift as an influence, is up five spaces to #34, looking like this will become a sleeper hit and I’m not particularly excited for that.

Fallers

On the other hand, we have plenty fallers this week, which seem to mostly be massive hits that have continued to fall over the past week or are just starting to drop off the chart. One of these fallers is a clear exception and that’s Social House’s “boyfriend” with vocals from Ariana Grande immediately dropping down seven spaces to #11 after the debut, which isn’t a good look going forward. Also probably a first for the UK Top 40, we have two absolute smash hits that peaked in the top five both dropping down a whopping 18 spots to a place outside the top 20 in the same week. The first at #21 is “I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran with Justin Bieber, and the second at #25 is “bad guy” by Billie Eilish which conversely just ended the 19-week #1 that is “Old Town Road” in the US. Also down this week is “I Spy” by Krept & Konan, Headie One and K-Trap down five to #27 after the second wind of the remix wears off. “Vossi Bop” by Stormzy is also down five to #39 and is slowly but surely exiting the charts.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

We literally have one drop-out this week and it’s “Mocking It” by JAY1 out from #40, which at that point it’s pretty obviously going to fall off soon enough... okay, are you kidding me? There’s one song to enter in the charts... barely. I would once again have no new entries to discuss if “Mocking It” kept in there (I’m not complaining that it didn’t, though). I think it’s probably time to do a featured single, but I’m already late enough writing this, so...

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “Hot Girl Summer” – Megan Thee Stallion, Nicki Minaj and Ty Dolla $ign

Produced by Bone Collector and Juicy J – Peaked at #11 in the US (#1 on the Rolling Stone 100)

Yeah, that title won’t be dated in a year, will it? There’s a difference between this and “Harlem Shake” however, while that was an immediately dated dance fad, this feels more like an anthemic celebration of success and overall being recognised, in a time period that just happens to be attached to a meme. Back to the song itself, when I first heard this dropped, I was ecstatic yet also confused, we’ll talk about that a bit more later, but everything about this song seems to fit my taste. I’m already a big fan of Megan Thee Stallion and pretty fond of a lot of features from Ty Dolla $ign (His solo work is pretty much ignored by everyone in the general public, I think I’ll decide to do the same), and when Nicki Minaj has her admittedly rare rap verses that aren’t watered-down by pop hooks (“MEGATRON”) or sub-standard guests, I really enjoy her delivery and often her punchlines, because she is a pretty clever rapper when it comes to wordplay, just incredibly inconsistent. Also, this was produced by Juicy J? That’s insane, why haven’t I already checked this out before writing this? Maybe I’m setting myself up for disappointment here and I’ve got too high-hiiigh hopes for this one, but come on, it’s a Megan Thee Stallion song produced by Juicy J, how bad can it really be? Yeah, this is pretty great, actually. The intro builds the song up with some pretty intense orchestral stabs, an insane amount of ad-libs, producer tags and even a sample from City Girls’ “Act Up” which is a pretty fitting sample considering that Yung Miami and JT were very much part of this Hot Girl Summer wave this year with “Twerk” featuring Cardi B and “Act Up”, both of which were big hits in America, but not much here. Honestly, we’re a bit slow to catch up with female-lead hip hop, but also hip hop in general, so it’s inevitable that this will catch on at some point. The record scratching on the City Girls sample is so fun before it drops to a bass-boosted beat that is driven by 808s and sub-bass only, with a lot of subtle record scratch breakdowns within the chorus, oddly handled by Ty Dolla $ign... I understand why they’d want him to be admiring the women as some kind of awe-struck child which is hilarious and really works for what it is, but maybe get another black female singer on the hook? I can think of a couple who’d be willing, convincing and not too expensive despite being very famous: Kehlani, Kelela, Mahalia, Jhené Aiko, Mereba? Also, Missy Elliott made a surprise comeback this week, maybe she could have gotten a verse here? I shouldn’t be worrying about what happens on the remix because this song is great by itself. The chorus almost sounds like a smooth 90s R&B or new jack swing song twisted and hyper sexualised to the point where it loses all recognisability other than that signature New Orleans bounce percussion and groove, and Ty’s sultry voice. Megan kills it, which should be expected, and is almost putting down Ty Dolla $ign in an incredibly snide way, it feels like a diss track to the guy doing the hook, and the pre-chorus as well as her ad-libs during the chorus show a lot more singing than I’m used to from Megan but are actually pretty fun... but her verse seems really short. Nicki on the other hand kills it for a lot longer but sounds a lot raspier than usual too; apparently she lost her voice, but honestly her slurring cadence sounds much better than how she usually does, and all three verses, including Megan’s second have a commanding yet smooth flow. The outro, which takes time for record scratching as well as a lot of their signature ad-libs, shows a really out-of-character upper register vocal riff form Ty, which I didn’t expect but it sounds great. Honestly, this is pretty fantastic, I’d like a bit less Ty and more Megan here, though. Just saying.

Oh, yeah, and get Trina for the remix. This seems like a pretty obvious choice for a Memphis trap and R&B fusion.

Conclusion

Well, what other choices do I have? Best of the Week goes to Megan Thee Stallion, Nicki Minaj and Ty Dolla $ign for “Hot Girl Summer” but trust me it’s not just by default, that’s a great lead single. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 21st April 2019

There’s two new arrivals this week and other than one other story not much happened this week so this is going to be a really short episode without a featured song but I don’t care, I needed a break anyway, we’ve had some busy weeks very recently, I’m going to take advantage of a slow week.

Top 10

We barely get any country on the UK charts mostly because country is very, very American so there’s barely any real crossover most of the time, although Florida Georgia Line have cropped up a few times before. So that’s why I think the success of Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus’ “Old Town Road” is so puzzling, at least internationally, because countries like those in the UK are not typically all too friendly to country and/or trap, at least before about 2017 when urban music really started to take a step up in popularity within Britain. I guess it just struck a chord at the right time, especially with the cowboy aesthetic that I see in fashion recently, how we’ve reached peak trap, the acceptance of comedy and meme-rap in the mainstream, unfortunately thanks to Lil Dicky and simply how Lil Nas X is one of us. He was a Twitter comedian and Nicki Minaj stan account, so I’m sure his personality and character is relatable to people right now. We’re still experiencing some 90s nostalgia resurgence right now so Billy Ray Cyrus’ addition just made it perfect... and yes, that means that there’s a new #1. Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus’ first, “Old Town Road” is up one space from last week to the top of the charts, and I’m not complaining. While I’m a tad more lukewarm on the original, I do think that Billy Ray Cyrus adds a lot to the track and I’ve been rooting for its success ever since it started to be in TikTok memes, so this is a pretty cool event here, even if it’s already been #1 in the US for like four weeks, and I’m pretty sure it’s more of an international cultural phenomenon than I ever expected it to be.

Wow, what a drawn-out speech just to say some country-rap song from a Nicki Minaj stan has hit #1. Speaking of wastes of time, Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved” is of course down a spot to number-two from last week.

Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” is still at number-three.

MEDUZA and Goodboys continue to rise a spot to number-four with “Piece of Your Heart”.

Also up a space from last week is Tom Walker’s “Just You and I” at number-five.

“Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man has a particularly bad week down two spots to number-six.

The interesting story here is Russ splash and Tion Wayne, however, both having their second top 10 hit in the UK thanks to “Keisha & Becky”, which debuted a few weeks ago in the top 20 and went absolutely nowhere, but has suddenly boosted up 23 spots to number-seven. Maybe there’s been a video released – but that can’t be it because it quite literally debuted with a video already released. I soon found out that there’s a remix with Aitch, JAY1, Sav’O and Swarmz. I’ve talked about JAY1 and Swarmz before, but otherwise this is new territory and while I still have the same problems with the chorus especially, but the verses aren’t bad here, and Tion Wayne ending his with humming is pretty funny. Aitch is just embarrassing though, Sav’O and JAY1 are non-existent and Swarmz references “Gucci Gang”. It’s also way too long now, so I would in no way call it an improvement.

Down a spot from last week is Jonas Brothers with “Sucker” at number-eight.

Also down one space from last week is Dave with “Location” featuring Burna Boy at number-nine.

Finally, “Here with Me” is at #10, rounding off our top 10 with CHVRCHES’ first ever top 10 hit and Marshmello’s fifth, up a spot from last week.

Climbers

I find it funny that I concluded the last episode or so with mentioning how I can see all the debuts being hits but none of them are really going away right now, so I hope they’re slow burners. Speaking of, Alec Benjamin’s “Let Me Down Slowly” featuring Alessia Cara is up five spaces to #31, and that’s the only notable climber we have.

Fallers

We have a handful more of these, however. Billie Eilish’s “bury a friend” continues its fall down five spots to #15, as does “wish you were gay” funnily enough also by Billie Eilish at #26. “MONOPOLY” by Ariana Grande and Victoria Monét is also down seven positions to #30, prematurely joining long-term hits like “Wow.” by Post Malone down six spaces to #32. Oh, and there was an absolutely massive collapse for Ariana Grande’s “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” thanks to streaming cuts and dumb UK chart rules, down 24 spaces to #39.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

Remember when I said last week’s debuts would have longevity? Well... “My Bad” by Khalid is out from #32, “Kill This Love” by BLACKPINK drops out as expected from #33 and “Cool” by Jonas Brothers is out from #39. Otherwise, as I figured, “Streatham” by Dave is out from #40 and that’s all. In terms of returning entries, “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee is back at #40 for some reason and for equally no reason, “Who Do You Love” by the Chainsmokers and 5 Seconds of Summer is back at #36. Sure?

NEW ARRIVALS

#13 – “Boy with Luv” – BTS featuring Halsey

Produced by Pdogg – Peaked at #1 in Malaysia and South Korea, #8 in the US

BTS have a new “Comeback”, because that’s what all their albums are called, I guess, even if their eras are non-existent. That’s one thing I don’t really like about K-pop – the mismanagement, and how the bands are overworked, but I suppose that’s none of my business, I’m just here to review the music – and, yes, this is the lead single and video from K-pop boy band BTS’ album and/or EP MAP OF THE SOUL : PERSONA, featuring... Halsey? To clarify it’s pretty much just a brief cameo, she doesn’t add anything to the song at all other than some crossover potential and to be fair I think that it will help them have more longevity unlike most K-pop songs that end up on the main charts. The beat is pretty barebones initially, just a vocal samples and a pretty groovy bassline actually, under a pretty steady drum beat which feels more organic than most K-pop beats, which usually go for a stilted trap beat. I can’t tell the difference between the BTS boys and Halsey, but I will say the pre-chorus is really catchy, even though I feel like I’ve heard it all before, it has a slight resemblance to “Wolves” by Selena Gomez and Marshmello, I see? The “oh, my, my, my” refrain reminds me of something I cannot exactly place my fingertip on and it’s really annoying, maybe it’s “Sweet but Psycho” by Ava Max but not exactly? I don’t really care, though, because it still suffers from what all K-pop does, the randomly-placed trap-rap verses which, while usually flowing well and okay within themselves, are not placed into the song as if it was an actual part of the song, as in, cohesive composition, and instead like an abrupt beat switch for no apparent reason. To be fair, this is more comprehensible than most other K-pop, but for BTS’ second top 40 hit (First top 20) and Halsey’s sixth (Fourth top 20), it is disappointing, especially with knowledge of the other artists’ work, which is mostly pretty damn good.

#12 – “SOS” – Avicii featuring Aloe Blacc

Produced by Avicii, Albin Nedler and Bonn – Peaked at #1 in Finland and Sweden, and #68 in the US

So, yeah, EDM DJ Tim Bergling committed suicide last year, there’s no way to avoid talking about that, and as to be expected with (And has since happened to) pop stars who die, posthumous albums will be released, the first of Avicii’s being Tim. While Avicii supposedly had the instrumental prior and all was needed was for Aloe Blacc to add some songwriting and lay down his vocals, it is stil like most posthumous releases, somewhat empty, and since a representative stated that there weren’t any plans to release any music, it does feel pretty scummy just a year later, but this is the only song really generating all too much profit for the producers and songwriters (Mostly because of the writing credits for TLC, ironically excluding the member who passed away), because of how all of the profits the album generates are going to the Tim Bergling Foundation, spreading mental health awareness, and I can’t knock that, so I do respect his label and close friends and family for producing this record. This is Avicii’s 14th UK Top 40 hit, the first of which that is posthumous, and his 12th Top 20, as well as Aloe Blacc’s fourth Top 40 and Top 20 hit, and honestly it’s pretty good. Sure, it sounds somewhat unfinished, and it really isn’t anything unique, but I love Blacc’s voice and the hook is insanely catchy, mostly because of the interpolation of “No Scrubs”, with the overproduced synths producing a legitimately good build-up into a relaxed but fun EDM drop, and I don’t really have any complaints about it, other than the fact that due to the circumstances, Aloe Blacc’s subject matter is unfortunately ironic and perhaps misguided, but I understand his intentions with having the song portraying a man, possibly detailing Avicii’s own personal struggles, willing to stop being reliant on drugs for the love of his life, and that’s a message I can get behind. For what it’s worth, I like this, but I’m not sure how moral it is or how long it’ll stick around.

Conclusion

It’s kind of slim pickings here, but I’ll go with Avicii and Aloe Blacc in terms of Best of the Week for “SOS” but I don’t dislike “Boy with Luv” at all so I think BTS and Halsey can scrape through with an Honourable Mention and there are no negative titles this week, because nothing here is worth getting angry about. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more pop music ramblings and Top 20 rankings, and I’ll see you next week!

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