#alan alda imagine

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery, @cassieuncaged, @iobsessoverfictionalmen

warnings: swearing

there were little fake Christmas trees everywhere in camp. Father mulchaey was stringing up popcorn strands anywhere he could. Radar was playing Christmas music over the speakers. Trapper had already gotten his Christmas care package from home. Frank was whining about the midnight mass already and the only person left listening was Margret. Hawkeye had invited me to the swamp to help decorate and go through the care package his father had sent over but I was starting to think of ways to get out of it.

“(Y/N), Hawkeye is looking for you.” Radar said as I paused outside post op. I nodded. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah radar.” I smiled at him. “Just been a long day.” I ran a hand down my face and nodded at him. I made my way to the swamp, hands buried in my pockets. I knocked on the door and Hawkeye opened the door, smiling happily at me.

“hi.” He said softly. He missed me before letting me in. “Package is on trappers bed.” I nodded before taking a seat and rubbing my eyes. Hawkeye went to grab the care package before staring at me. “Everything alright?”

“you’re the second person to ask me that today.” I mumbled as I laid back. Hawkeye took a seat next to me, box forgotten on the floor at our feet. “I’m alright. Just exhausted. And feeling like this year couldn’t be any less christmasy.” I felt Hawkeye rub my leg.

“I know what you mean. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to not seeing snow.” Hawkeye whispered. “And all the decorations don’t do anything to help.” I nodded and Hawkeye laid down next to me, head pressed against mine. “What can I do to make you feel better?” I shrugged and turned to look at him. Hawkeye wrapped his arm around my stomach and pulled me closer as I ran my fingers through his hair.

“I don’t know.” I sighed. “Just wait for this to pass and make sure I don’t get worse.” I offered. Hawkeye nodded and kissed me.

“I can do that.” He said before pulling me up. “In the meantime let’s see what dad sent.” I nodded and helped him open the package. I was surprised to find items in the package for me as well and my mood lifted slightly. Once the box was discarded, I sat with the small snowglobe in my hands. “I guess he knew we were missing the snow.” Hawkeye commented as he went about making himself a drink.

“I guess he did.” I said with a sad smile. “Hey hawk?” I looked up at him. Hawkeye looked at me expectantly. “You ever wonder what would happen if we don’t make it through the war? Not like we don’t return home but like we don’t…” I sighed and looked back at the snow globe. “Last. I guess.”

“no.” Hawkeye shook his head, sitting next to me again. “Because I know we’re going to make it. Once we get back may be a different story. I’ve heard relationships built on shared trauma don’t always end well but there’s nothing stopping us from giving it a go.” I smiled at him and cupped his cheek.

“Sidney tell you that?” I asked. Hawkeye turned his head to kiss my palm.

“nah. Flagg.” I laughed and pulled him in for a kiss. “We’ll be alright. Just you wait and see.” I nodded and curled up against Hawkeye as he laid down. He gently pried the snow globe from my hands and put it on the table next to his bed. “Well make it to see the snow. I promise you.”

#hawkeye pierce #hawkeye pierce fanfic #hawkeye pierce imagine #hawkeye pierce fanfiction #hawkeye pierce x reader #alan alda #Alan Alda x reader #Alan Alda fanfic #Alan Alda fanfiction #Alan Alda imagine

[thats-highly-significant]

#‘HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Haha. No.’ #one of my favorite clips of Alan Alda #if you watch this whole video there’s a bit where they interview Arlene and they tell her that #according to some poll like 96% of American women are in love with her husband #Shoutout to the guy in the comments on the YouTube video who copy/pasted the same thing about American women being privileged five times #also the guy who commented that Hawkeye was a womanizer and he’d get cancelled by the woke left today lmao #can you imagine showing him the mash community on Tumblr?? heads would explode. anyway I digress #hawkeye pierce #m*a*s*h #mash #alan alda #mash 4077

[pomegranate]

watched Paper Lion, a fun movie where a football team ends up adopting Alan Alda and throws him around a lot

#paper lion #alan alda #v fun to see him with the marine from mash ep springtime #also made me: a) imagine hawkeye being adopted by his college football team in undergrad #and b) want a beejhawk football au. i dont know much about football but boy do they touch butts and hips a lot

[80smen-fanclub]

Maybe I’m just starting my period but I have a strong urge to make a Spotify playlist for every Alan Alda character

#I have two for now #just imagine Marshall playlist #aldaposting #alan alda #should I be stopped or not #mash #mash 4077 #mashposting #m*a*s*h 4077 #m*a*s*h #hawkeye pierce #hawkeye

[variousqueerthings]

I will stumble around the wider interwebs to copy a quote from a mash episode rather than go the extra step and skim through the episode in question and type it out, only to find myself wandered into horrifying strange lands where commenters will freely say that sometimes you hear the bullet is only so-so and that all the hawkeye episodes are the worst ones, about a series in which the only character to appear in every episode... is hawkeye

#mash #hawkeye pierce #sometimes i see people complain about alan alda online in ways that are truly baffling #definitely no projection going on about the idea that they feel personally offended that someone might be... an alright person? #ive seen of course the *vanity project* description of the episode hawkeye #ive seen that he's the worst actor of the show #I've seen *I always got a bad vibe from him and then he didn't donate money to a school his daughter worked at which confirmed it* #ive seen suspicions about being too nice #of course ive seen the accusations of communism #im sure ive not even seen half of it because i dont tend to venture out that far #sometimes parasocial relationships appear in the form of making assumptions about the ways someone you dont know is Secretly Bad Actually #why don't you listen to some clear + vivid and maybe you'll calm down #also yes i know that hawkeye isn't featured in every episode but like my guys #can you imagine watching 11 seasons of a show and gritting your teeth every time you see the guy who's in every episode #alan alda

[dreamsandconstellations]

Martin Scorsese originally wanted Alan Alda to play Andrey in Goncharov (1973), but Alda wasn’t available due to his pre-existing filming commitments and success of M*A*S*H

#goncharev #goncharov 1973 #martin scorsese #alan alda #mash 4077 #mash #hawkeye #hawkeye pierce #can you imagine him as andrey thooo #unreality

[youngpettyqueen]

the gif of Hawkeye getting lassoed is hilarious not only because its just a funny scene but also because you can see the lasso clearly whack Alan Alda straight in the face at least twice and you can actually see him reach up to almost grab it before he stops himself

#mash #the knot of the lasso looks like it fucking clocks him im dying #imagine showing up to ur job on the hit sitcom MASH #and being told 'yeah ur job today is to lasso Alan Alda'

[majorbaby]

I rewatched Comrades in Arms and, lol, do you think the houlihawk shippers in the 70s when it aired were hype when they saw the myriad of shippy tropes used in that episode happening before their very eyes??? ohhh he has to go 8063rd to do a demonstration, he’s gotta take a nurse with him who’s gonna go oh shit it’s margaret, and wouldn’t you know her husband’s cheating on her and whooops the 8063rd is gone. damn there was only one abandoned hut?? she’s bandaging his leg, they’re drinking... this is a fanfiction 

#they wouldnt have called them 'shippy tropes' #but they would have seen margaret and hawkeye clinging to each other thinking they about to die and gone 👀😏 #not my drug of choice but happy for them #i do respect the hustle of shipping your ship whatever it may be #also i imagine some of the alan alda girls were happy to project on a woman who is an actual character for once #thanks margaret for your service #margaret x hawkeye #majorbaby.txt

[spocks-kaathyra]

u know an episode is good when u have to pause it in the middle to cry

#MASH s06e03 fallen idol. yeah #ok I understand why everyone loves alan alda episodes now #hawkeye finally breaks under the pressure and it’s bc he cares abt radar and feels guilty for indirectly getting him hurt???? #and when he breaks he lashes out and hurts radar???? the very person he felt guilty abt hurting in the first place????? #and then everyone yells at him abt it?????? hawkeye’s terrible horrible no good very bad day fr #oughhh the way he insists he’s the one to operate on radar. him telling bj his hands were shaking. #throughout everyone yelling at him u can tell he like. agrees with them. he does not need to be told that he fucked up. he knows. #and he feels awful abt it!! can u imagine the absolutely unbearable amount of guilt......... #ough and this episode is so complex too. I like how... ppl get hurt but no one is framed as a bad person for causing that hurt. #ofc the episode is sympathetic to hawkeye so that part’s obvious but also. everyone who yells at hawkeye. they weren’t wrong for that!! #they weren't wrong to be angry. they weren't wrong to scold him!! #but it all still adds up to rly hurt hawkeye. even though the ppl involved didn't individually do anything wrong. #hdjkhflkj this isn't rly analysis I'm just pointing out vry surface level things abt the episode. I'm sorry I just rly like this episode ok #narcissus's echoes #the horrors of war show abt the horrors of war

[thebreakfastgenie]

I was going to make a joke about how there should have been an episode where Hawkeye obsessively takes his own temperature all day and it was a waste of perfectly good self-insertism but then I remembered he just used that in The Four Seasons instead.

#mashposting #every time I try to make fun of alan alda he got there first #do you know what a godtier joke 'imagine hawkeye pierce as a podcaster' would be #if he wasn't one in real life??

[dilfsisko]

i should do more mashtrek edits....

#els.txt #me continuing to put alan alda in bones's uniform: heehe hoohoo #i can't help it it's fun to imagine #anyway even though my own personal mashtrek au takes place during ds9 i can't help but prefer the TOS uniform for my edits

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @iobsessoverfictionalmen, @illiana-mystery, @cassieuncaged, @onedirectionlovers2014

warnings: swearing, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), mention of the Korean War

Hawkeye kissed along my neck, pausing only to gently bite and mark me. I tangled my fingers in his hair, letting my head fall back.

“hawk.” I moaned. “The door. And the flaps.” Hawkeye let his head fall against my shoulder.

“(Y/N) you really know how to ruin the mood.” He breathed out. Pressing another kiss to my neck, Hawkeye got up to make sure the door was locked. I went about lowering the flaps around the swamp so no one could look in and see what we were doing. “Now where were we?” Hawkeye said as he crawled over me.

“right about here.” I breathed out as I pulled him in for a kiss. “BJ and winchester are out for the night right?” Hawkeye nodded against my neck as he unbuttoned my fatigues.

“BJ is staying with colonel potter. Charles is with hot lips I think.” He said softly. “I’ve got you to myself for the whole night. Until the end of your birthday.” I smiled softly at him as I reached for the bottom of his shirt. Hawkeye kissed me again before letting me pull it over his head.

“lucky me.” I teased as Hawkeye pulled mine off before finishing the job with my pants. His dog tags swung in my face and I hooked a finger into the chain to pull him closer. “Now, what did you get me hawk?” He smiled roguishly at me before kissing me again.

“how’s this?” He asked as he slid into me. I moaned and tugged on the chain around his neck again. My head fell back and Hawkeyes head fell to my shoulder. His raven hair filled my vision as he pressed kisses to my exposed neck.

“fuck hawk.” I moaned. “Dammit.” Hawkeye chuckled as he ground his hips against mine. He kissed his way up to my lips and kissed me forcefully as he started to thrust into me. Hawkeye started out slow, giving me time to adjust and whine as he dragged out my pleasure. “Hawk. Please.” Hawkeye kissed me and gave me his signature wink.

“whatever you say.” He breathed out as he sped up. I clutched at his back, feeling every drag of his dick within me and letting it push me closer and closer to the edge. “(Y/N).” Hawkeye moaned as his hips stuttered.

“hawk.” I breathed out. We both tipped over the edge with a finale thrust. We laid panting on his cot, trying to bring ourselves back to reality. “Could almost make you forget there’s a war on out there.” I joked as hawk pushed himself up. He brushed some hair off my face and kissed my forehead.

“happy birthday my love.” He whispered.

#Alan Alda #alan alda imagine #Alan Alda fanfic #Alan Alda fanfiction #Alan Alda x reader #hawkeye pierce #hawkeye pierce fanfic #hawkeye pierce imagine #hawkeye pierce x reader #Hawkeye pierce fanfiction

[hawkeyegender]

i cannot believe that people tuned in for their favourite war sitcom mash & then watch s8e22 dreams, without knowing anything about it before hand. just going in blind. i would die.

#imagine just trying to have a relaxing evening watching yr favourite tv show then BOOM dread #mike talking #mash #mash 4077th #m*a*s*h* #alan alda #hawkeye pierce

[salvadorbonaparte]

Broaden Your Horizons 2024

A Non-Fiction Rec List by Salvadorbonaparte

Books

Adventures in Yiddishland: Postvernacular Language and Culture - Jeffrey Shandler

A Good Man in Evil Times: The Heroic Story of Aristides de Sousa Mendes -- The Man Who Saved the Lives of Countless Refugess in World War II - Jose-Alain Fralon, Peter Graham (trans.)

Brief Answers to the Big Questions - Stephen Hawking

Erebus: The Story of a Ship - Michael Palin

Every Word Is A Bird We Teach To Sing: Encounters with the Mysteries and Meanings of Language - Daniel Tammet

Federico Garcia Lorca: A Life - Ian Gibson

Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in - Roger Fisher, William Ury

I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban - Malala Yousafzai

Ice Ghosts: The Epic Hunt for the Lost Franklin Expedition - Paul Watson

Identity and Violence: The Illusion of Destiny - Amartya Sen

If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?: My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating - Alan Alda

Imagined Communities: Reflections on the Origin and Spread of Nationalism

Iwígara: American Indian Ethnobotanical Traditions and Science

Lingo: A Language Spotter's Guide to Europe - Gaston Dorren, Alison Edwards (trans.)

Monsters in the Closet: Homosexuality and the Horror Film - Harry M. Benshoff

One River: Explorations and Discoveries in the Amazon Rainforest - Wade Davis

Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour - Kate Fox

What's Your Pronoun? Beyond He and She - Dennis Baron

Documentaries

Bowling for Columbine

Break It All: The History of Rock in Latin America

ReMastered: Tricky Dick and the Man in Black

She's Beautiful When She's Angry

Street Gang: How We Got to Sesame Street

Podcasts

Clear+Vivid with Alan Alda

Freaks and Psychos: The Disability in Horror Podcast

Lingthusiasm

Ologies with Alie Ward

Root of Evil: The True Story of the Hodel Family and the Black Dahlia

The Sewers of Paris

#non fiction #nonfiction #book recs #podcasts #documentaries #documentary #podcast recs #book recommendations #podcast recommendations #rec list

[variousqueerthings]

so in the ongoing canon of “BJ and Hawkeye are acting more and more like a couple we have “the most unforgettable characters” (which, titlewise I’m just taking in right now and it’s making me emotional all on its own)

in which BJ and Hawkeye “pretend” to fight to cheer up Frank on his birthday, only for BJ to say that Hawkeye is competitive and hates losing, which genuinely hurts Hawkeye’s feelings, and so they have an inconsequential, domestic argument that is almost sweet in the way that Hawkeye clearly cares deeply about BJ’s opinion of him and so naturally decides to act bratty in response to the notion that BJ might not place him as highly in estimation.

---

BJ, joking: “so which one of us do you think gets the oscar?”

Hawkeye, snottily: “Me I hope, you know how much I hate to lose.”

BJ, laughing, still not getting it: “Right.”

Hawkeye: “... Did you really say that to Frank?”

BJ: “Well, yeah...”

[...]

Hawkeye: “I always have to get the last word in?”

BJ: “Yes, always-”

Hawkeye, stuttering: “I can prove to you right now-”

BJ: “Oh, come on-”

Hawkeye: “No, just say something and walk away.”

BJ, standing to walk away: “Alright. I think you’re a very competitive person.”

Hawkeye: “Fine.”

BJ: “You just did it.”

Hawkeye: “Did what?”

BJ: “Just got in the last word.”

Hawkeye: “That didn’t count.”

BJ, about to walk away again: “Then don’t say anything.”

Hawkeye: “Ok.”

BJ: “You’re impossible.”

Hawkeye: “I’m impossible?”

BJ: “Yes! Shut up, close your mouth, don’t say another word!”

Hawkeye: “... Ok -”

BJ: “Not! Another! Word!”

Hawkeye: “No problem.”

BJ, storming off: “It’s no use!!!!!!”

Hawkeye: “... Wrong.”

---

Followed of course by them making up (because Radar doesn’t like it when his parents fight)

Hawkeye: “You still love me for all my flaws?”

BJ: “What flaws? You’re perfect.”

Hawkeye: “Just for that I’m gonna let you get the last word in.”

BJ, surprised: “Thank you.”

Hawkeye, smirking: “You’re welcome.”

#im watching MASH #bj hunnicutt #hawkeye pierce #hunnihawk #me squinting: alan alda did you write and play hawkeye as bisexual? mr alda #these dynamics.... they're barely coated in comedics and the comedy is simply in that we know the fight isn't serious #and that the petulance is indicative of deep connection #and IF the comedy is inherently about the ludicrousy of imagining two men in a domestic relationship to one another like this #(which is no-doubt how it played and still plays for many people) #that doesn't change the fact that it's played straight (so to speak) and therefore just is this relationship #anyway exhibit b comes in a second #i feel like i should make a tag just for transcribing choice conversations between these two

[thealogie]

Imagine you clear your night to watch the finale of your favorite dramedy in real time and you have no idea about the iconic final scene and you’re like “oh well it’s a whole wrap up of a beloved show with a strong ensemble I’m sure it’s not going to revolve around the two leads’ relationship in a gay way” and then Alan Alda after 11 years of begging for the war to be over throws a tantrum on national television about how he’s not going to be living elbow to elbow with his bestie anymore and then jumps straight to “if I was dying, would you hold me”……………..and the whole show culminates on bj giving hawkeye the most grand gesture romantic version of the note hawkeye has wanted for 7 damn years.

#mash