#alastor swearing is my religion | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

duke-daemon · 3 months

Text

hazbin hotel redesigns wooooooooo

okay so. i'm gonna discuss my thoughts about them n shit, putting under a readmore bc it's gonna get long and rambley. sorry in advance for the shit formatting, i'm on mobile </3

just some general shit about how i would rewrite it. i think the premise of redeeming sinners is entertaining but is executed horribly. i also am a fan of the "heaven isn't great either" idea but again, executed horribly. i'd make the hierarchy of angels more accurate because it's cool as hell and i have autism about it. the characters from hell would swear still (albeit not as much), but the angels would outright refuse to swear or make vulgar jokes ever. this would be partially to further the gap between heaven and hell and make the differences more stark.

hell would also be more like dante's inferno (again because i think its cool). the ars goetia would get a full redesign and would be more prevalent in demonic society.

now for the characters!

---

VAGGIE VALTIEL:

starting off with vaggie, or Valtiel as i've renamed her because let's be honest her original name sucks. Valtiel (Val for short) was an aspiring power angel who wanted to be an exorcist. she looked up to lute and thought the idea of killing demons was really cool and badass. however when she actually was on the field for the first time she discovered how awful this actually was. she tried to help a few demons but lute figured it out and felled her right then and there. the rest of her story is relatively the same. personality wise she's more stoic and less prone to all-out aggression. she still get angry, sure, but it's in a quieter and more menacing way. you DO NOT want to fuck with Valtiel.

CHARLIE:

next up is charlie! i had two ideas for her. the first one (unsettling drawing) has her as a mannequin/doll type demon. lucifer and/or lilith was unable to conceive and as such they built a kid from scratch. she's overall similar to og charlie personality wise, very kind and cheerful despite her unsettling appearance. she struggles with empathy sometimes but really does mean well. her motive for rehabilitating sinners is so they get to see their family again. being able to see heaven from where they are in hell must make them sad, so she wants to help make them happy again!

the second idea for charlie has her as an angel. specifically i casted her as a dominion angel due to their reputation as holy judges. she was once a demon but has been rehabilitated and has risen into angelhood! she now wants to help her former kin do the same and redeem themselves in heaven's gaze. again, similar cheery personality, but a bit more prudish in this rendition

tangent time!

as a side tangent, valtiel and charlie would have a different relationship in this rewrite. their relationship felt shoehorned in in the original show, like it was just there for the hell of it. we didn't see much development between them and it just felt kinda bland. so in my rewrite, charlie and valtiel are amiable exes. they tried dating when valtiel first fell (when charlie was still a demon in the charlie-angel version) but realized their feelings for each other were much more platonic than romantic. they ended things off on good terms, deciding they were much better as friends. they are still besties to this day! later charlie ends up with emily (or 'ellie' as i plan to rename her)

back to the characters

Alastor:

note: i made alastor mixed-race, which could be seen as bad by some due to vivzie saying he's black. however, as many have pointed out, he has no ethnic features whatsoever and i honestly wouldn't be surprised if she said that just to get away with using voodoo symbols (a closed religion) in his imagery/design. like viv, i am incredibly white and have little to no knowledge of voodoo, and even if i did i would not use it for something like this anyways due to the stigma the religion already has and (again) it being a closed practice. as such i removed it from his concept altogether, but made him mixed race (white passing) because.. why not i guess, i forgor my actual reasoning

with that being said...

alastor is by far my favorite of the redesigns and i'm honestly tempted to turn him into a legally distinct oc. i imagine he's somewhat reserved, along the lines of norman bates albeit a bit more extroverted. during his life he was a serial killer with a day job as a radio announcer. he took pleasure in reporting about his own murders on the radio, but that is eventually what got him caught (ie accidentally letting slip info that wasn't released to the public). as a result he was sentenced to death. upon arriving in hell, he quickly rose through the ranks to borderline overlord status and is a feared presence by demons and sinners alike. why is he bothering to assist in the hotel project? who knows... his motives are a mystery, like the rest of what he does

(he isn't actually alastair crowley i just thought the naming convention was ironic. however he may have also dabbled with satanic magic in lifetime..)

Angel Dust:

TW: brief discussion of SA

this is definitely my second favorite redesign. i loooove insect themes and wanted to do more than just Extra Arms, so he now has fucked up legs and a lot of eyes too! story-wise, angel used to be a criminal mastermind, hated by both the mafia and the feds. he was a gentleman thief, arranging massive heists under the cover of night while also partaking in the occasional drag show. he ended up a cocaine addict later in life, which caused his work to become sloppier. eventually he was killed in a heist gone wrong, specifically shot by the police.

i'm not gonna go too in-depth on the SA part of his story, but he is hypersexual due to being assaulted in both his life and afterlife. it would be something he'd be working on in the rewrite. his reason for coming to the hotel in the first place may have even been for help with this trauma. underneath his sultry exterior is a broken guy who really just needs someone to care about him for who he really is and not for what his body can do.

LUTE:

so lute and adam are some of the characters i have the most gripes about. the biggest one being why viv chose adam as the leader of the exorcists in the first place. if she wants a biblical figure tied to demon killing, Archangel Michael is RIGHT THERE, aka the one destined to kill satan during the events of Revelations. if she wants the first human to die, that would be Abel, not Adam. and i kinda doubt abel would want to do the stuff that HH!adam has been doing. if she wants an angel related to torture, Dumah is her guy! an angel that rules over wicked souls and tortures sinners every day except sabbath. so many better options...

with that out of the way, Lute is still the lieutenant of the exorcist, who are a specially chosen group of powers sent to purge hell once a year. think navy seals. she's pretty much the same as in the show, albeit more muscular and visually different from other exorcists (seriously why do they all look exactly the same?????) she's a very repressed lesbian who hasn't had time to work on that due to her duties

i also redesigned the exorcist uniform/armor because those LED purge masks are fugly as hell and their clothes don't even look remotely like armor.

Adam + Final Thoughts

i did start a redesign of adam but got bored of it. regardless, i think he'd be the head of C.H.E.R.U.B. instead of the exorcists. he doesn't want his children to make the same mistakes he and eve did, so together they started C.H.E.R.U.B. to help lost souls stay out of hell

final thoughts uhhhh i'm tired. show sucks, it had so much potential but viv ruined it by being a shitty writer and an even shittier person. the designs are fine i guess but they all look exactly the same and are in desperate need of variety. the humor is dogshit, saying dick and balls and penis over and over and over again doesn't make it any funnier than the first three times you made that joke. anyways that's it, i hope you liked my inane ramblings. gonna go vanish for another forty years or so, adios

724 notes · View notes

starrclown · 4 months

Text

☆ Redesign Time/Have Tea With Me: The Black Characters of Hazbin Hotel, The Radio Demon ☆

Note: Okay I kinda feel like a cheat because it isn't a whole redesign, it's just two sketchy headshots. Sorry it's not a full design. Sorry also it isn't my Stolitz Rewrite... but I have 10 followers now!! I know that's not alot but hey, it means people actually WANT to read these blogs and see my art. I'll take it!!)

Ahoy Matey's!! So there has been two controversies going on withing the Hazbin Hotel fandom. 1 has been long term while the other is semi recent.

Have tea with me while we talk about it 🫖🍵:

1. The black/people of color don't have any features of their race.

2. Alastor's voodoo symbols.

I will not be talking about Alastor's voodoo. I am a white boy and I am not educated enough to talk about Voodoo. What I'm here to talk about is that none of the poc look like poc. Let's play another game. What is the race of these characters:

Have your guess? Their black. Sera is black, Velvette is black, and Alastor is Creole. All are black and or mixed and none of them have any ethnic features. All of them are gray. (I'm just saying it's sad when me, a white boy that has 2c/3a hair, has curlier hair then people with textured hair.)

(Also, Alastor, who is not a good guy but is the good guy team, is light gray. Velvette, who is on the villains side, is dark gray. I'm not accusing Viv of being racist but I find it weird.)

The problem is so easy to fix. GIVE THEM ETHNIC FEATURES!! ITS SO EASY!! No one's expecting you to draw every individual braid or dreadlock but oh my god!! Give them textured hair! Or I don't know, NOT ASHY GRAY SKIN!! BLACK PEOPLE ARE BEAUTIFUL VIV!! YOU CAN MAKE THEM BROWN ITS OKAY I SWEAR!! Sorry that got aggressive. Look, I just said that I am not a poc but there's no way they don't have black people on the SpindleHorse team. Hell, you can just ask people on Twitter or the black people you know!! Seriously, it's not hard to learn to draw ethnic features! It's really fun actually! I had so much fun drawing the second hairstyle!! Speaking if which!! (Drum noises)

Drawing these hairstyles were so fun yall. Andddddd, you get a sneak peak at what my Alastor redesign might look like! If you can tell what I'm going for then you get a cookie. Dude the second hairstyles was so fun. Like honestly. I do think I can do the first hairstyle, (I think I know the nameof this hairstyle but I don't want to be wrong.), better but thats for me to practice on my own time. Seriously I had so much fun drawing these. Hell I didn't even line them. Those are sketches with colors. These aren't final designs or anything, I still need to adjust colors and get his outfit planned out but I think I know where I'm going with this!!

The hairstyles I used:

It's just really sad seeing how SpindleHorse treats its poc characters. Textured hair can come in so many different types and hairstyles, you just wasting them making have straight hair with choppy waves. (Side note: Does anyone else like get excited when they draw new things? Like I was happy drawing Al's hair. I got excited learning how to draw my curls. I tried learning how to draw a hijab. It's really fun actually!! I highly suggest to challenge yourself drawing other types of hair types, races, religions, clothing. Seriously it helps your art and representation is important.)

There were other examples I couldn't list but I don't want this to be long. I want to get back to my Stolitz post but I HAD to draw Alastor with textured hair. Seriously Viv, he's Creole, at least make him look like it if your not even going to try and make him look like what he's described.

I have about 60% of the Stolitz post done! I encourage you to draw something new and to commit mass amounts of tax fraud!! Goodbye Matey's!!

- ⭐️StarClown⭐️

#artwork #digital art #helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #hazbin hotel critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critique #hazbin hotel art #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel redesign #HIS HAIR WAS SO FUN YALL!!

93 notes · View notes

lowqualitygarbage · 2 days

Note

Your Vault 666 AU is incredible. So glad that I stumbled onto it while browsing. Maybe to integrate further with the Fallout canon, you could have Alastor being related to the Blackhall family, who were cultists devoted to an Eldritch entity, and who also owned Dunwich Borers as a front and an industrial scale human sacrifice machine through extremely unsafe working conditions. Would work to explain how otherworldly he is, since Fallout has a lot of paranormal and supernatural shit going on in the background.

<3 <3 <3

LMAO get out of my head!

Alastor is absolutely the inexplicable supernatural element in this setting. Nothing big or obviously magical happens around him, but nobody can figure out how he seems to know everything going on, he kind of pops up out of nowhere and in places you swear he shouldn't have been able to travel to so fast, and people claim they see shadows move unnaturally out of the corners of their eyes when he's around.

(His serial killings have a ritualistic aspect to them, and he's got a creepy mysterious shrine in a locked room of his radio station, with a dagger like Kremvh' Tooth on display. It's not named what he worships, but it's a mix between a post-war folk religion derived from Voodoo and the Lovecraftian beings canon to Fallout.)

Coincidentally, Husk will derisively call him swampfolk, given he originally was raised in an insular almost tribal culture of the bayous around Nola before making his way into the Wasteland (I had totally forgot there was a legit Swampfolk faction in the Fallout 3 DLC).

#vault 666 #fallout au #hazbin au #hazbin hotel au #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #answers #Angel once joked he must have a stealthboy hidden up his ass because he's always popping up out of nowhere #there is a local superstition that people will cover their radios when having secret discussions #so Alastor cant hear #that's not at all how it works but the superstition remains #Alastor absolutely loves that he's become synonymous with radios and people are paranoid about him

9 notes · View notes

spooky-salesman · 3 months

Text

Since my brothers special interest is demonology and religion, he made me watch Hazbin Hotel with him. This is my honest review (This will contain spoilers)

Disclaimer: I know Viz has done heinous and weird shit, so Imma start off with that I know she’s a shit person. I don’t like her. And I would steam roll her with my car .

Now , On with the review. I will start off with what I do like

1) Character design - Each character has a unique shape, and I adore how it really plays into shape language and silhouettes. Each characters color pallet is easily accessible, and the colors don’t necessarily clash. It was really fun to just look at them

2) Music- this ost , SLAPPED . Like actually has me jamming out. Dancing around my room. Shits been added my cleaning playlist. Everyone’s voices are so fluent and talented! They all knock it out of the park again and again!

3) Character plot- I some how got attached to any and ALL the characters. Even the characters I was supposed to hate I was laughing at and with them. Especially the Vees in the Finale, and I was CACKLING with Adam. The vees are like a shitty team rocket, the angels are aggressive and fun. The hotel crew is all so unique and awesome! Angel and Husk had me invested, Alastor was absolutely charming! Lucifer being my short representation/j . Sir Pentious was so incredibly hysterical and sweet, and I wish we got to see more of him and Cherry

4) Lesbian Standpoint- Charlie and Vaggie were so sweet, and it was so nice to see a HEALTHY WLW RELATIONSHIP. It felt like a breath of fresh air that they weren’t fighting- fighting or wanting to kill the other. It was so sweet and nice. Of course there are going to be secrets but what matters it that they WORKED THROUGH IT.

Now onto my issues with the series

1) Male lead in a supposedly “female lead show”- I can count on two hands Vaggie, Charlie, Camila, Rosie, Sera, Emily, and Velvette had of screen time COMBINED. Compared to Angel, Alastor, Lucifer, Husk, and Vox + Val. I really hope she can clean this up later in the series, as it mostly seems like Angel has just. ALL the spot light, two songs, several episode about him/just him also hanging around. Alastor having like 3 songs. Yes Charlie has a bunch too, along with Vaggie. But I just really feel like I saw more of the male cast than the female cast. Especially comparing it to Hellvula boss, who’s female characters are only there for the male’s development. Almost all the female characters are demonized.

2) handling the pacing- I get it, only having 8 episodes is a LOT to put such a big plot in. But all the different plots felt so loose. Only really being vaguely strung together.

3) my overall gripes with the writer- I’m sorry. I just. I can’t stand her. She’s made zoophilia art. And is just overall fucking weird. Many people complain about the cursing (but y’all forget it’s like really normal. Like I swear all time. I grew up with swearing all around me) I just. I can’t stand her. Plus her weird fetish with SA. Just as long as y’all pirate her stuff, or at least watch it KNOWING she’s a piece of shit. I won’t parent you, I can’t parent you over the screen. Just. Be aware.

(Check my Bio before getting nasty btw. I won’t be rude if you’re not rude either. This is meant to be a civil critique)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel review #show review

4 notes · View notes

aretheextrovertsokay · 2 years

Text

✨~Welcome To My Blog~✨

Fandom Tags (In Alphabetical Order): Arcane League Of Legends Jayce Arcane Mel Arcane Viktor Arcane Bungou Stray Dogs Bsd Spoilers (For new manga chapters only. This blog is not spoiler free for those who've only watched the anime) Fyodor Dostoyevsky Natsume Soseki Deltarune Asriel Dreemurr Berdly Deltarune Deltarune Headcanon Dess Holiday Jevil Deltarune Kerdly Kriselle Kris Deltarune Krusie Lancer Deltarune Noelle Deltarune Queen Deltarune Ralsei Deltarune Ralsei x Berdly Ralsei x Susie Rudy Deltarune Seam Deltarune Seamvil Spamton G Spamton Suselle Susie Deltarune The Addisons Deltarune The Greater Hometown Polycule The Fun Gang (Mostly friendship based posts) Hazbin Hotel Alastor Miraculous Ladybug Adrien Adrienette Alya Chat Noir Gabriel Agreste Hawkmoth Ladrien Ladybug LadyNoir Marinette Ml Froggy Ml Spoilers Nino Sabine Cheng Persona 5 Strikers (I haven't finished the game yet, so no spoilers please!) Phineas And Ferb The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals Professor Hidgens The Owl House The Owl House Spoilers Undertale Alphys Undertale Asriel Dreemurr Asgore Undertale Chara Undertale Flowey Undertale Frisk Undertale Mettaton Undertale Papyrus Undertale Sans Undertale Utdr (Used for both Undertale and Deltarune content) The KFC Utdr theory Content Warnings And Accessibility Tags (In Alphabetical Order): All Caps Caps Contains Gif Contains Photo Contains Video Described Flashing tw Long Post Long Tags Nsfw Police Brutality Mention Racism cw Religion cw Swearing cw Terrorism Mention Undescribed Vent Organizing Tags (In Alphabetical Order): Anon Ask My Post Post (Every post will be tagged with this for "/chrono" purposes) Reblog Self Reblog Other (In Alphabetical Order): Platonic Lovecore Writing ✨- If you need anything else to be tagged, just ask me!~ ✨- And if there's anyway I can make my blog more accessible and safer to you guys, please let me know!!💓 /gen ✨- If I forget to include a tag listed here in a post of mine, if you wanted to tell me I would really appreciate it!~ ✨- Content Warning tags are not linked so that they won't be clicked on accident❤️

#My post #Post #Masterpost #Long post

10 notes · View notes

xxmidnightmochaxx · 1 month

Text

Uhhh more formal intro ig lessgooo!!!

(Sorry if some of this makes no sense I didn't sleep all night and I'm writing this before I probaly take a nap)

🐾Names🐾:

🐾I go by midnight, dogday, alastor or ghost mainly, but midnight is my main name and I've used that for years so I'd prefer if you call me that:)

🐾Pronouns🐾:

🐾They/he/xe/it/meow/paw/fizz

🐾Extras🐾:

🐾cat dad of two

🐾some Fandoms I'm in:Ghost, BATIM, FNAF, tattletail, dying light, TWD, COD, warrior cats, hazbin/helluva boss, resident evil, and more I js cannot think of em atm lol

🐾If you dm/message me please tell me why/be paitent, I suck at replying/forget+I am slightly socially anxious/shy asf. Lol

🐾My account is strictly 15+, unless your a underage friend and I gave you permission to follow me, if you are under 15 I'm sorry you gotta go. This is only because sometimes I will post stuff/reblog stuff that isn't exactly appropriate.(ex:gore) and also I swear. Alot..😶

🐾I am greyromantic/acespike and polyamorus with the partner limit of 3-4. I am dating two people atm, no, I will not date you if we just met. It takes me a bit to actully like someone. And by a bit I mean probaly longer than a "normal" person. Keep this in mind.

🐾Genders:Transmasc, agender, catgender, sodagender+femboy.(yes ik it might make no sense but like it's what labels me best I'm sorry)

🐾My discord incase u wanna be friends:xxsvnn1_dr0p_pawzxx

🐾keep in mind if you DO add me on discord, please let me know it's you.

🐾I will mirror your energy/treat you how you treat me. So if your being a dick don't complain I'm being one back, your asking for it mf.

🐾I'm otherkin and a furry :d

🐾I am a satanist. Do not force your religion on me. I will block you.

🐾 my account is mainly a safespace for almost everyone minus most people. Let's keep it that way.

🐾Interact!🐾:

🐾Otherkin

🐾xenogender users

🐾lgbtq+ people

🐾ppl who are 15 and over

🐾warrior cats fans

🐾hazbin/helluva fans

🐾People who have the same interests as me

🐾animal lovers

🐾recovering zoos/necrophiles(your on very thin ice though)

🐾Kinda almost everyone really, I don't really care as long as your 15 and over and respectful and not problematic.

🐾Do not interact🐾:

🐾people who are friends of someone named soldier fox(I do not want to talk about the drama that happaned, he did shit and drama happaned. It was like 3 years ago or some fucking shit. Leave it be and hop off my dick about it. Me and him have settled things, but I dont trust his friends to not come after me.)

🐾transphobes, homophobes, ableists, necrophiles, zoophiles, pedophiles.

🐾toxic christians/toxic people in general.

🐾others who force there religion on others.

🐾bigots in general really.

🐾people who are under 15 following this acc unless I gave you permission. But even I'll get out rules for you on what you can and can't do.

🐾People who kin problematic characters unless it's like- idfk like the silly side of them then idc. But if it's the problematic side fuck no get out(ex;valentino from hazbin hotel)

🐾catnap x dogday shippers(catnap is a 8 year old from what ik)

🐾catnap simps(again, that's a 8 year old from what ik)

🐾Boundries/can and cants🐾:

🐾yes:Jokingly flirting with me if we aren't dating, drawing my ocs/characters, asking to be friends(I will more than likely say yes), asking about art trades(never done one tho so you'd needa explain I'm sorry), using tonetags(I need them), asking to take info off of ocs of mine(as long as it's small depending on the oc)

🐾Ehhh:/srs flirting if we aren't together, being overly sexual with me, being an asshole, making certain jokes if it's coping or smth(I do it too js be sure to warn me pls)

🐾No/blocked:taking heavy inspo/taking my ocs, tracing my art/claiming my art as yours, not respecting Pronouns, idk I can't think of anymore rn

Uhh yeah can't think of anymore rn so yeah hope u enjoyed reading this have a cat meme

#introduction post #cat memes #introduction #help what else do i put idk oh my god

1 note · View note

dontasktheradiodemon · 3 years

Text

Radio Host & Radio Ghost - Nov 14

Alastor meets a ghost possessing a vintage radio.

He’s absolutely delighted.

Valera

Valera hums, rubbing their hands together. What a lovely day to bring demons into their home. Not a single consequence could possibly result from this! With Alastor's okay, they could finally get around to opening a portal for him, whatever water he'd decided was sufficient rippling and turning into an inky void before his eyes. On her side, Valera plops back on the couch and awaits his arrival.

Alastor

And Alastor’s more than ready to jump through the inky void he’s been promised is a portal!

He has not, however, been informed that the portal he just jumped DOWN into is VERTICAL on the other side.

He lands on his back with a blurt of confused mixed frequency crosstalk. What.

Valera

A laugh track plays from across the room, and Valera leans forward to get a good eyeful of the poor, confused fellow. "My dear, if I'd known you were falling all over yourself to get here, I'd have invited you much sooner! Come now, pick up those sorry spirits and have some spirits with me." Funny way to talk about spiked tea, but alright Val.

Alastor

Disoriented by the 90° shift in the angle of gravity, he blinks up at the ceiling for a moment. “What, was the repeated pleading to come see it not obvious enough?”

As his head sorts itself out he abruptly registers the laugh track—SOMEBODY ELSE’S laugh track—and he immediately sits up and looks toward the source of the sound. “Well!!” He’s on his feet in a flash and crossing the room, heading like an arrow toward the authentic, vintage, genuine, incomparable 1931 Philco 90 Baby Grand Cathedral Radio. “Oh my goodness, what a beauty! Look at this! Oh, this is the only cathedral I’ll ever worship at.” He kneels down to get a better look at the front of it. “The wood needs a little love and care—walnut, isn’t it? I don’t know wood but I know my radios, I could swear Philco used walnut—but it’s in fantastic condition!” He presses the side of his head to the front, eyes closed like he’s trying to listen to it. “All nine tubes sound beautiful, just beautiful!” Apparently that’s something you can hear, at least if you’re Alastor.

He sits back and turns to the man sitting next to the radio, beaming. “Listen to me, gushing away without even—Hello! May I compliment you on your lovely home, sir!”

Valera

Whatever Valera was planning to say is forgotten immediately, Alastor's enthusiastic response to her latest acquisition more than entertaining enough to distract her from her train of thought.

The radio flicks on and off like its fluttering its lashes, dial twirling playfully in a reflection of the Ghost Of The Hour's own beaming grin. A waggle of his fingers, and he speaks, voice emanating from the radio and rather garbled as the dial flicks back and forth.

"Compliment taken and appreciated, you beautiful stranger! Aren't *you* all the candy and then some? Lovely to meet a man who knows his stuff, you're right on all counts! Walnut, hand rubbed finish, this is a genuine type two article straight from the production line of late 1931! Updated with AVC and the beautiful addition of type 47 power pentode tubes for the finest and most reasonably priced audio on the market!" A pause to "breathe" as the radio's light flickers, and he shrugs, still beaming. "I'd offer to shake your hand, my good man, but I find I left my tangibility back home. Though I'm happy to try!"

Alastor

His invisible studio audience oohs and aahs appreciatively at each new technical detail. “Reasonably priced, oh, boy—I’d barely paid off a ‘32 when I died! Eighty bucks, if I remember right! Well with the price but good golly if I wouldn’t have loved to enjoy it a little longer.”

He gets to his feet, leaving one hand lingering on top of the radio affectionately. “Oh, I’d give it a shot! Typically, the dead can touch the dead.” He offers his hand. “The name’s Alastor! I’m a radio man myself—on air from ‘24 to ‘33, you might have heard me if you were in range of New Orleans! And what do I call you, my friend?”

Valera

"Oh! A fellow dearly departed? And so close to my own time, give or take a few years! I'd offer my condolences on your departure from the mortal realm, but it seems to me that you're doing rather well for yourself! PLEASURE to meet you, Alastor!" He takes the offered hand in his own, grinning even wider when he realizes he can actually touch the red newcomer. He's got a handshake like he's going to sell you something, firm and eager. "New Orleans, you say? KTRD? Well I never! I do believe I played your station in my old shop! Your broadcast helped me sell quite a few radios back in the day."

A delighted chuckle, and he gives Alastor's hand a last squeeze before dropping it to mess with his suit lapels. "My friends called me Al, but my name is Alexander! I had some other names too I'm sure, but they haven't found their way back yet."

Alastor

He shakes back just as eagerly and his grin stretches wider. “Yessiree, that was me! *Your Pal Al, first voice you hear in the morning and last voice you hear at night!* Why, if I’d known that I was doing free advertising for Philco, I would have written them a letter and asked them to give me a Baby Grand on the house. Still, probably the best eighty bucks I ever spent.”

He takes a step back, giving Alexander a bit of his own space. “I’d catch you up on what you missed, but I’d probably only be able to offer you a couple of years—were you ‘31, or did that just happen to be the model you had nearby when you shuffled off the mortal coil?—and I’ve spent my time since then down in Hell—hope that’s not too off-putting, you know how it is, make a few little mistakes and forget to say your Hail Marys before you kick the bucket and suddenly you find you’re serving an afterlife sentence without possibility of parole! I expect you’ve had a better chance to keep up with the news than I have!”

Valera

"I'd have sent you one myself if I hadn't bought the farm! But your business was appreciated, I'm sure. A radio broadcaster with your chops has quite the eye for quality if I do say so myself, your radio was in the best hands possible!"

"This beauty was a gift from my parents, got it new and died within the month, if memory serves! Damn shame, but it all worked out. I'm sure my mothers would be charmed that I was so attached!"

He waves off the news of Alastor's new home with a scoff. "Oh, pah to that! I was never much for religion before I bit the dust, God always struck me as a terrible sort of man. If you wound up in Hell, it's probably for the better! I'd hate being in close quarters with the kind of parent who thinks tossing his children into fire and brimstone was the best teaching method!"

Alastor

A studio audience laugh at “attached”; attached in more senses than one, apparently. “They must have been women with exquisite taste! Quite a pity about the timing, but at least you’ve had plenty of time to enjoy it! Amazing how well it’s held up, can’t tell you the last time I saw quality like this. Of course,” he arches his eyebrows, “that might just be a side-effect of the neighborhood I’ve been living in, eh? Lucky you latched onto this beauty—otherwise you probably would have ended up living there too, considering your personal leanings. Fair enough if you don’t want to move into that big gated community in the sky, but I wouldn’t recommend the alternative, either.”

He glances over at Valera—wow, look at that, he actually does remember that they’re in the same room. “Speaking of which...” He nods at the spot of the portal he so gracelessly stepped out of earlier. “You probably don’t want to take this with you the next time you spend the night at your fiancé’s. I’ve never heard of a ghost voluntarily walking into Hell so I’m not sure if they’d immediately notice, but I do know that imps conducting business topside are charged with keeping an eye out for rogue spirits that ought to be down below. You take him in, they might not let him back out.”

Valera

Alexander rolls back on his heels, happy to peek around Alastor and back at Valera. Ah, his unexpected rescuer who he's trying very hard not to be wildly rude to by screaming at over the existence of actual aliens! Thumbs up!

As for Valera, she looks at Alastor with raised eyebrows. "Good to know! I hadn't made any plans yet, but it would be a damn shame to get this fellow stuck in a new prison so soon after getting him out of the previous one." A sip at her cup, and she curls her tail politely around her legs. "Either way, I brought you here to help with repairs! Bring your friend over here and lets start getting the cobwebs out of his home, hm?"

Alastor

“Why, of course! Pardon me—“ And up it goes. As he carries the radio over to Valera he’s cradling it half like it’s a heavy sack of groceries and half like it’s a baby. “I didn’t have an opportunity to look around the back, what all needs doing?”

Valera

Valera opens her mouth, and is immediately cut off as Alexander practically flings himself forward to 'sit' on the floor next to the cleaning supplies. "There's almost no damage to the internals, lucky for us! My lovely little number's managed to hold up beautifully despite the.. Unideal conditions. This sweet faced dame here scraped off most of the wax from my previous landlord's attempt at what I assume was an exorcism, but a gentle wash wouldn't hurt! Aside from that, it's largely dusting and polishing! Mindless, really."

He chuckles, the dial on the radio tapping back and forth like a metronome. "Though the lady here took one look at the bottom of the chassis and said she'd rather call an expert, poor thing. From what I saw, it's just a bit of rust and dirty wires, nothing even a child couldn't handle! I'm sure a man like yourself wont even break a sweat!"

Alastor

“So I see.” He leans forward, arching an eyebrow as he inspects the remaining wax. “What kind of ‘unideal conditions’ are we talking about, here? And how *did* this end up here?” He directs that question to Valera. “Of all the places I’d expect to find a ‘31 Philco, you have to go pretty far down on the list before I start listing locations off of planet Earth. And even at that ‘the moon’ and ‘Mars’ would have been my next guesses.” SPEAKING OF WHICH, he leans toward Alexander and gives him an excited look. “Did you know we put ROBOTS on MARS?”

Okay, exciting news shared, back to business. He carefully inspects the bottom of the chassis himself—nothing too bad down there. “I’m as good an expert as you’ll need! I’ve lovingly cleaned off enough fine old radios in my time—although I’m hard-pressed to think of one as fine as THIS!” He looks over the selection of cleaning tools.

Valera

Valera's attempts to speak are once again completely drowned out by Alexander's crackly voice. "Oh she got me on Earth, rest assured! I was in one of my.. grand nephew's attics, I believe? And yes, I DID hear about the robots on Mars! I had nothing to do but listen to the radio while I was up there, and as much as they like to pretend they've murdered the art of broadcasting, there certainly are still plenty of stations out there sharing the news! Nothing compared to your own, of course, but still." A dip of his head towards Alastor, and he scoots closer to watch him work.

The standard tools are available. Wood cleaner, a few soft rags, a small steel wool brush, and rust removing solvents, along with a little pack of cloths for polishing brass. Val side eyes Alexander and deliberately doesn't speak as she picks up a rag to offer to Alastor.

Alastor

He's starting to detect a pattern here. "Say, my phantasmal friend!" He leans over and slings an arm around Alexander's shoulders. "I realize you haven't had much experience with conversation in a while—but let's let our friend Valera get a couple of words in edgewise from time to time, shall we?" He winks, then returns to studying the radio, this time inspecting the innards. He takes the rag and starts brushing out the worst of the dust, just a rough pass to get out the easy stuff. "Ah, of course you would have heard! Naturally. What kind of a state is radio broadcasting in these days, anyway? I've heard some dismal things."

Valera

There's a flash of confusion on Alexander's face as he looks between Alastor and Valera, but he nods without any protest, obligingly leaning in until Alastor releases him from the casual half embrace. "Of course! Terribly rude of me, I'll curb the enthusiasm. My manners could use as much dusting as my radio, it seems!" A light chuckle, and he props his chin on his hands, watching Alastor's movements intently.

"Miserable! It's atrocious the kind of programming they think passes standard these days. Once they broke the stations into specialties, the bar dropped straight past hell! Why, if you have a grave, Alastor, I'm sure you were rolling in it. Half the contents is advertisements, and the other half replays the same songs every few hours with no shame!" He heaves a dramatic sigh, shaking his head. Valera rolls her eyes.

Alastor

“Oh, Hell hasn’t fared much better, I’m afraid—although I’ve helped keep things interesting on the AM band, at least!” A weary sigh. “And to think in the twenties we were butting heads against the regulations that discouraged specialization. Who would have thought the alternative would make so many stations so bland?” His tone darkens. “Although I blame the networks more than anything else, truth be told.”

He’s got a bone to pick with networks.

Valera

Valera finally has a chance to speak? Good. "Well, I'm glad you two have so much to talk about! I'd say you should exchange numbers or find a way to talk in DMs, but I haven't had a chance to try and explain texting or tumblr blogs to Alexander yet." And she is NOT looking forward to it!

"Though, Alastor, if you'll indulge my hypotheticals while we tidy this fellow up. What do you think would be the best way to deal with his current state? I've thought about asking Pentious to make him some kind of automaton frame around his radio, or find a way to separate him from the radio entirely and... Force him to manifest some form of body."

Alexander shrugs, flipping a dismissive hand. "I've got no knowledge of the supernatural, and barely any on the normal natural either, so this is all Greek to me!"

Alastor

“I wonder if it would be possible to get a radio signal through to Hell! I’ve never picked up a radio broadcast from the living world before, but as far as I know none have been sent out by the dead. At any rate, if Internet can get between here and Hell, radio should be able to just as easily—it’s all the exact same stuff, just traveling through the air on different frequencies.”

Alastor considers the issue of Alexander’s body for a moment, glancing over at him. There’s a brief quiet humming noise like microphone feedback from the radio’s speakers as Alastor stretches out with his own energy field, prodding around Alexander’s, measuring it.

Then he snaps it back in and continues working. “Automatons are all well and good, but if you want to know how I’D do it—the easiest thing would be to get him trained up as a poltergeist! There’s three parts he’d have to learn: drawing more energy from his environment than he’s currently getting through passive processes; focusing it so he can telekinetically affect his environment; and finally, focusing it to visually and physically manifest a form for other people to see and touch. It’s essentially what I’m doing any time I step out of Hell, although I’m cheating: coming straight from Hell means I’m carrying enough Hellish energy with me that I don’t need to gather or focus any more, I’m fully solid from the outset. But it’s a skill that can be learned!”

He beams at Alexander. “You’re lucky you’ve got a focus for your energy, here! I’d hazard a guess that all this time you’ve been using what ambient energy you’ve picked up to help power it—but I bet it wouldn’t be too hard for you to use IT to help power YOU!”

This is all too exciting. The study of the interactions between spirits and electricity had only been going a few decades when Alastor died, and the topic is obviously irrelevant in Hell; what he’s proposing was supposedly possible even in his own time, but he can’t imagine what information might be available today.

Valera

Alexander twitches as Alastor's field brushes against his. It's an almost ticklish sensation, like almost but not quite touching something charged with static electricity. The moment passes, and he rubs at his arms. Could ghosts get goosebumps? It sure seemed so! Weird! Everyone he's met has been so strange and colorful, he'd hardly even thought about his own appearance. Immediately distracted, he starts looking for a mirror to check his hair in.

"Hm, I don't have any experience with poltergeists.." Valera's at a bit of a loss, narrowing her eyes as she squints at the two radios. Three radios? Does Alexander count as a separate entity from the radio? Gods, she should have taken the Mortals and Their Souls elective in school. She heaves a sigh. "Well! I hope you're willing to help teach him, Alastor, because otherwise I'm going to have to start doing _research_."

Alastor

“You and me both! Ha! Most of what I learned about poltergeists in life was how to get rid of them, imagine that. But! You know where ghosts end up once they’re got rid of! I’ll inquire around, see if there are any ex-poltergeists interested in sharing their tricks of the trade. If not, I’m sure the imps will know all about it.”

He beams at Alexander. “Oh, this is going to be fun. I haven’t had a reason to dip this deep into the occult since the sixties!”

Valera

"Oh that's marvelous. Thank the gods, the less I have to try and muddle through human focused occultism the better, it gets damnably frustrating trying to find books that aren't full of teenage angst and garbage." She sighs, taking her tea in hand and busying herself with draining the glass. That's ONE problem out of the way.

Alexander glances over, feeling eyes on him again, and offers Alastor his sunniest grin. He wasn't really following the conversation, but that doesn't matter when there's an obvious opening. "Don't leave us hanging, my good man! What happened in the sixties? Inquiring minds, and spirits, want to know!"

Alastor

“The first step is to get book recommendations from actual occultists.” Where is Valera picking up teenage angst?

Oh, Alastor is going to love this new guy, he follows up on the topics that Alastor leaves dangling. “A deep dive into angelology! Researching what sort of defenses Heaven has aside from being ridiculously high in the air—this was before rockets, you see, so we couldn’t just fly up and check—and trying to deduce any of the angels’ vulnerabilities.”

Valera

"Fair enough, I assume you knew a fair few back in your day?" Meet enough overly young heroes and some of them are going to write about their experiences while unfortunately being teens. Combination diary and field guides are the _worst._

Alexander BEAMS as Alastor speaks, the light on his radio dial glowing like a little beacon. "Fascinating stuff there, Alastor! I never even knew that was a field of research, shows what I know! Did you learn anything useful in your forays?" A pause. Wait. " You have rockets in Hell?"

Alastor

“A decent amount! I had a healthy circle of pen pals. None of them quite as successful as me, if I do say so myself—but that had less to do with their occult knowledge and more to do with their heads for business. All the symbols, herbs, and precious metals in the world won’t do you a lick of good if you don’t know how to make a deal with a demon.”

He’s gotten the inside about as clean as he feels safe to while the radio is still clearly *on*—there’s probably no way to fully turn it off as long as Alexander is connected to it, is there?—and starts on the outside. “In the living world, it probably isn’t one! Angelology in general, sure, but penetrating the gates of Heaven? Maybe in an ‘astral projection’ way, but certainly not a ‘breaking and entering’ way! I can’t say I picked up much of practical use, but...” He falters a moment before rallying. “The project I was researching it for fell through, so I abandoned it early with several research avenues unexplored.” Shrug.

For a moment he’s tempted to let Alexander think they DO have rockets. But then he bursts out laughing. “No, no, hah! I only meant that humanity in general has rockets, don’t we—and enough people with the know-how to make ‘em are in Hell by now. We *could* have rockets if we decided to. But we don’t have our act together enough for that—put together a list of everyone who could make it happen, and even the person at the very top of the list has priorities pointed very firmly elsewhere. Anyway, where would we go with them?”

Valera

"You can say that again. Though of course, my experience is decidedly _not_ from the mortal's side." A hum, and Valera leans in to take a peek at Alastor's work. "I knew you were the person for the job, that little darling is looking almost as good as new." A grin for his efforts, that's more than payment enough. That and getting to work on such a nice radio. Probably.

Alexander snickers, pressing a hand to his chest in mock dismay. "My goodness, you really had me going for a moment there, Alastor! I suppose there wouldn't really be anywhere to go, you're right! Though that does beg the question. How *does* Hell compare to all the biblical stories? I can't imagine it being all fire and brimstone if you're as well dressed and decidedly not prodded by pitchforks as you appear to be!"

Lowering her empty cup to the table, Valera flicks her eyes over to watch as Alexander quickly turns to try and pick up the teapot to offer a refill. Bless his dead little heart, he gave it a good shot even if all he managed was a slight rattling.

Alastor

Getting to work on such a nice radio is *absolutely* its own reward. “A professional could do something about the scuffs. And you definitely want somebody else to do something else about the last of the wax.” He rubs a thumb over the last little bumps stubbornly stuck on the wood. “I don’t think I can get the remains off without scuffing the wood.”

He tries to think back to what he was taught Hell was like before he saw the real thing. What had his first impressions been like? “Picture Dante’s Inferno. So you’ve got your rivers bile, your fields of icy mud, your endless hurricanes—but then dump a bunch of humans in it and assume they’re going to do what humans always do. We build cities and civilizations in scorching deserts, frozen tundras, and smothering jungles—and we do just the same in Hell. Sure enough, fire and brimstone is Hell’s natural, untrammeled state—but we’ve been trammeling all over the place for thousands of years by now! The native demons and fallen angels in charge are largely content to ease up on the pitchforks as long as our labors improve their standard of living, too.”

Alastor watches Alexander attempting to manipulate the teapot, then puts his hand on top of the radio and focuses on channeling as much of his own energy into the cathedral case as he can. “Try again now.”

Valera

Alastor

Valera

"Fixing the wood? Not a problem. I just didn't trust anyone else with the internals!" She shrugs, seemingly content to lay back and idly listen as he explains the inevitable human nature of settling even the inhospitable lands of Hell. But the moment Alastor's powers are channeled, Valera stiffens, head swiveling to stare at where his hand at the radio meet as her fins flare out.

Alexander looks between Valera and Alastor, then down to his radio. You know what that reaction sounds like? None of his business! He nods, then carefully, carefully, picks up the teapot and pours a single cup of tea out with a look of utmost concentration. Once the teapot is safely back on the table and the cup is delivered into Valera's hands, and ONLY then, he shuffles back a few feet, looks around to make sure there's nothing breakable near him, and finally throws his arms in the air with a cheer. "Alastor! Whatever you did got me back on the trolley!"

Alastor

The motion catches Alastor's attention and he meets her gaze. Oh, hello? What's all *that* about?

But he doesn't get a chance to ask before Alexander is celebrating his triumph. Alastor switches his attention back to him, beaming. "Back on for the time being—although I'm afraid this trolley company makes you pay by the block and I essentially gave you one nickel. Still, it's proof of concept! You're powering your radio—and your radio can power you. This expands our options immensely!"

Valera

Scoffing while grinning ear to ear isn't something you see often, but Alexander is quick to wave off even minor pessimism with the cheeriest dismissal. "Bah, who cares about that! That's more interaction with my environment than I've managed since I died, I'll take this nickel as far as they'll let me." He pushes the teapot to the left, then the right, and then picks it up once more for good measure before moving to start carefully prodding at Valera, who tolerates it with the face of the family dog tolerating bratty kids yanking their fur.

Alastor

“I suppose five blocks is exciting if it’s the first time you’ve been allowed on the trolley,” he says dryly; then, while Alexander is distracted, he gives Valera an inquiring look. He’s not going to ask Valera about their reaction to his magic while Alexander is around, but he wants them to know he *noticed* and he’s *going* to as soon as he has a chance.

Valera

Valera looks at Alastor, giving him the most innocent stare they can manage with those big ole eyes... And then snorts, shakes their head, and gives a thumbs up. Yeah, yeah. Quiz them later, radio deerman.

Looking back to Alexander and his prodding hands, Valera finally hauls herself up to cheerfully clap her hands together. "Well! This has been lovely, but I think that's enough excitement for the day. We've both got new projects to get to, and the sooner we sort this fellow out the better!"

Alastor

“I think you’re right! Happy I could offer my assistance.” He offers a hand to Alexander. “And a pleasure to meet you, my good sir!”

Valera

Alexander pauses in his prodding to take Alastor's hand in both of his, giving it a firm shake. "I hope I'll see you again, Alastor! Even if we can't figure out how to help me, meeting a fellow radio enthusiast of your caliber is more than worth being stuck in an attic for so long!"

Alastor

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll find a way!” And a firm shake back. “And even if not, I’ll be visiting from time to time anyway, never you fear.”

Valera

Val would ask if that was a threat or a promise, but she isn't really sure she wants to know. A portal is prepared in short order, one wall of the sitting room turning a familiar inky black as she rises from the couch. She does, however, make a point to look Alastor dead in the eyes as she speaks her goodbye. "I'll see you in Hell, Alastor."

Alastor

It’s only a threat if Valera finds his presence threatening.

“Imminently, or eventually?” He *does* still want to find out what that Look was about.

Valera

She grins, ignoring Alexander as he quietly oohs and aahs over the portal. "Eventually! I'll be there tonight or tomorrow, depending on wherever Penny decides to sleep, but who knows when you'll actually _see_ me there."

Alastor

“Well, track me down to talk when you can.” An unnecessarily dramatic half-bow and he steps through the portal.

Carefully. He doesn’t know what angle he’s going to emerge at.

#chat log #autokrates

10 notes · View notes

kathyprior4200 · 4 years

Text

The Radio Demon’s Guide to the Inferno

(What it says on the back)

“You poor sack of former human skin and sin. You died and are stuck in Hell. Now what? Fear not, for in this book, you shall find the answers to seek on what you need to know to survive the inferno. You’ll learn how to stay safe and entertain yourself during the Extermination. You’ll get a sneak peek on the origins of voodoo, radio, and Jambalaya. And as for becoming a better person and getting out of this mess? You’re probably stuck here forever until you die again, but this book will provide you with handy information and a much needed cure for your boredom!”

*Includes a free pamphlet for the Hazbin Hotel and how to tune in to 66.6 FM.*

About the author: Alastor “Hazbin” Cajun was born January 24, 1896 in New Orleans, Louisiana. He died in 1933 and is now one of the most powerful demons Hell has ever seen. In his spare time, he loves broadcasting his murders on the radio, cooking meals, making dolls, and performing. As of 2020, he is 87 years old in Hell and 124 years chronologically. However, his friend princess Charlie is 200 + years old, despite having the appearance of a teenager!”

This is a story of a book, a book called “The Radio Demon’s Guide to the Inferno”--not an Earth book, never published on Earth, and until the Exterminations occurred, no Earthling has ever heard of it.

It is a remarkable book in Hell, though.

It is highly successful, written by the one and only Radio Demon Alastor. It’s more successful than Angel Dust’s “Guns, and Poses: Turf Wars in Style,” “Lust is a Must,” and “Being Gay in a World of Macho Sinners.” Unfortunately for the following authors, Charlie Magne’s book “Rainbows Inside Everyone” remains one of the lowest ranked books along with Vaggie’s “Men Are Pigs.”

Alastor got his book revised by his associate Niffty and published by Husk (after bribing him with money and booze. Niffty had to help him with the publishing process and stop him from using his money to bet on who would win the local Hellhound races.) Alastor hopes that his book will soon topple Hell’s number one bestseller from the king of Hell: Lucifer Magne’s “Fall From Grace.”

It has many passages that may be inaccurate, and it does warn the reader never to cross said Radio Demon, unless they’re curious about what their organs look like from the outside.

The majority of this story is broadcasted on radio, for if all the info were piled in a book, it’d take several leagues of demons to carry it.

There are many benefits to this book. This book is slightly cheaper than Angel Dust’s works and it has the word “Smile!” written in large friendly letters on the cover. In an old fashioned TV is the number 66, the meaning of life in Hell.

Here’s what “The Radio Demon’s Guide to the Inferno” has to say about Jambalaya: (Page 14)

“Jambalaya is a traditional dish that originated in Louisiana in the 18th century. The dish was a result of attempts to make a variation of paella for Spanish colonists. Although the recipe was adapted by the Spanish, but Senegalese slaves brought the knowledge of rice cultivation form West Africa. German immigrants brought their secrets of sausage making to Cajun country. And one can’t forget the influence of French and Native Americans, whom contributed more flavor. (meaning they likely added peppers and seasoning, not their own flesh).

“Jambalaya consists of rice, sausage, shrimp, and a variety of vegetables mixed together in a tasty gumbo. The “holy trinity” mixture consists of diced onion, celery, and bell peppers, a necessity for flavor in regards to the traditional method.

Common meats used are smoked pork sausage, paired with chicken, though diced ham, shrimp, crabmeat or crawfish can also be added.

There are two main types of Jambalaya: Red Jambalaya, also known as Creole Jambalaya, due to the use of red tomatoes and Brown Jambalaya, more often used in Cajun country. Both are equally tasty.

Jambalaya is a rice dish, thus it is not a gumbo nor is it etouffee. Gumbo is more like soup and etouffee is more like a stew.

Fun Fact: hunting is a beloved pastime in south Louisiana. It’s not uncommon for hunters to add game like duck, pheasant, and venison to their Jambalaya recipe. (Venison is my personal favorite, especially after a good hunt.) If you really want to go bold, feel free to add small slices of human meat to create a unique lighter pork flavor.)

Do be warned: Jambalaya is no simple dish to make at times. It is a bad idea to add gunpowder and or wasabi to the dish. Doing so will likely result in the dish exploding in your poor mother’s face. Indeed, my mother’s recipe nearly killed her when she drank too much Southern Comfort Whisky ™ and decided that adding gunpowder was a great idea. Her face was burnt badly afterwards and there may have been a few slabs of her dark skin that fell into the dish. When I tasted it, the kick was straight outta Hell! The spice and chaotic spin of flavor…fantastic!”

Here’s how to make it in a nutshell: brown your meat, sautee your vegetables, add rice, add liquid bring to a boil, stir, reduce heat and simmer for 20-25 minutes. Add them all together.

For full instructions, see the next page.

For instructions on how to hunt deer, see page 20.”

Reference:

McCormick, “Jambalaya Recipes, History, and FAQs.”

https://www.mccormick.com/zatarains/jambalaya

Here’s what “The Radio Demon’s Guide to the Inferno” has to say about Voodoo, Hoodoo and dark magic (Page 177)

“According to Benjamin Radford, Voodoo is a pop-culture subpart of Voudon, an Afro-Caribbean religion that originated in Haiti. Followers can be found all over the world, including the United States. Leslie Desmangles, Haitian professor at Hartford’s Trinity College describes Voodoo as a system of ethics, stories, songs, proverbs, and folklore that is passed down through generations. It is an elaborate folk medical practice system and to her, it is a way of life. (“The Encyclopedia of the Paranormal” Prometheus Books, 1996.)

In Voodoo belief, Bondye is the unknowable and the supreme creator God. Voudon emphasizes the worship of spirits called Loa, each one who represents a different aspect of life. Loas can help or impede human affairs by possessing the bodies of their worshippers. They can be good or bad or anywhere in between, so it’s best to always treat them with respect and leave proper offerings (not human sacrifice but more like animals, plants, gems etc.) Spiritual possession in Christianity is considered to be evil, but not in Voudon. In a ceremony guided by a priest or priestess, a connection to the spirit world and the ancestors is said to be an invaluable experience. Many practitioners believe in reincarnation.

Voodoo deities are as follows:

Loa Nations:

Rada – (creation, orderly, beneficial, water spirits)

Petro – (destruction, aggressive, warlike, New World)

Ghede – (spirits of the dead, loud, rude fun family, eating glass and hot peppers)

Kongo – Marinette, Simbi (water serpents, plants, poisons)

Nago – Ogoun –Loa of craftsmen, metalwork

Deities:

Bondye: The creator god in the Voodoo religion and the loa answer to him. The loa serve as intermediaries between man and Bondye.

Papa Legba: Sun god Loa associated with the crossroads and serves as an intermediary between man and the spirit world. In some places, he is seen as a fertility god, portrayed with a large erect phallus. In other customs, he is a trickster, or he may be a protector of children. He is associated with red and black, portrayed as an old man with a straw hat accompanied by a dog. He is always the first god to be invoked in ceremonies.

Kalfu: moon god and ruler of the night. Patron deity of sorcerers, and those who practice black magic. He rules bad luck, destruction, and injustices. His favorite drink is rum laced with gunpowder. He is often seen as a darker version of Papa Legba.

Maman Brigitte: Loa associated with death and the underworld. She is the consort of Baron Samedi and is often represented by a black rooster. She is also considered a goddess of justice. Rum and hot peppers are her favorite diet.

Maman Brigitte is portrayed as a light-skinned woman with red hair, it is said that she could be descended from Brigid, the Celtic goddess of the hearth fires and domestic life.

Baron Samedi: Husband of Maman Brigitte, Baron Samedi is the god of death and is both respected and feared as the keeper of cemeteries. He often appears skeletal, wearing a top hat and formal tails and dark glasses. He is also a god of resurrection; only he can welcome a soul to the realm of the dead.

He is known for lewd behavior, swearing, and mating with other women. He is connected to powerful acts of magic and is the leader of the Guede, the family of loa who work with the dead.

Erzulie: goddess of beauty and love, epitome of femininity and womanhood. She represents the cosmic womb in which divinity and humanity are conceived. Erzulie often grieves that which she cannot obtain, and sometimes leaves a ceremony weeping. She is sometimes represented as a black Madonna and other times as an upper class woman in fine clothing and jewelry.

Her three husbands are the war god Ogun, the sea god Agwe and Damballah. Erzulie feels sadness due to the broken hearts of humans.

Loco: The god of wild vegetation, herbs and fruits for killing or healing. He is also the patron deity of doctors and Voodoo priests. His wife is the market goddess Ayzian (also deity of Voodoo priestesses).

Shango: God of fire, judge, fighter, symbolized by double-axe or ram’s horn.

Ogun: War god Loa associated with blacksmiths, warriors, and justice. Practitioners call upon Ogun for matters related to war and conflict and likes offerings of male roosters and dogs. He is symbolized by an iron knife or machete and has a fondness for pretty women and rum.

Ogun stood as Ghede Nibo’s godfather and adopted him.

Oya: goddess of wind, fire, sea, nature and sudden change.

Damballah: The creator of gods and humanity who helped Bondye make the cosmos and is represented by a giant serpent. His coils shaped the heavens and earth and he is the keeper of knowledge, wisdom, and healing magic. Damballah looks after the crippled, albinos, and children. Erzulie is his consort. He loves silver. His son, Simbi is a white snake god who brings rain.

Ayida: The goddess of the rainbow and primary wife to creator Damballah. The pair manifest as intertwined serpents. Ayida also serves as a fertility goddess. Her favorite offerings are white food. Ayizan, her daughter, is goddess of the marketplace and of initiation into the sacred truths, making her the head Mambo (Voodoo priestess.)

Oshun: One of the Orishas, Oshun is a goddess connected to rivers and water. She is associated with wealth, pleasure, love, beauty, and sexuality. Oshun’s colors are orange and golden yellow, green and coral.

Yemaya: motherly goddess of the sea

Obatala: Goddess of the heavens, personification of creative energy: old with white hair

Agwe: The god of the sea and patron deity of sailors and fishermen. Agwe taught humans how to fish and build boats. He is one of the husbands of the love goddess Erzulie. Agwe is green-eyed and dresses like a naval officer.

Zaca: The god of agriculture and the harvest. He dresses in denims and a straw hat. Zaca smokes a pipe, drinks from bottles of rum and wields a machete.

Marassa: Mawa and Lisa: divine twins: male and female energy, personify sun and moon

Radford states that Roman Catholicism imposed their religious beliefs onto many civilizations, including African slaves. The Africans and African Americans combined Catholicism with their West African beliefs. A 1685 law forbade the practice of African religions in the U.S. In fact, slavery was accepted as a tool to convert Africans to Christianity. In the process, many of their spirits became associated with Christian saints.

Even though slavery ended in the 1800’s, followers of Voudon were still persecuted by authorities, and their religion was demonized. In an 1889 book titled “Hayti, or the Black Republic” (Filiquarian, 2012), Voudon was falsely attributed to cannibalism, human sacrifice, and other atrocities. This helped to spread fear of the religion…portraying certain aspects like voodoo dolls, dark magic, zombies etc. in media and literature. Added onto that, it also strengthened racist stereotypes: African Americans were viewed as “primal,” and “savage,” due to their practices and behaviors as perceived by those outside their culture.

Voodoo has gained more respect in modern times, but all too many people don’t know the truth about it. Even today, many Christians associate Voudon and Voodoo with Satanism and the occult. Interestingly enough, voodoo dolls have little to do with the actual rituals.

Here’s how I found out about Voodoo. It started a long time ago back when I was alive. My mother Loretta was Creole, and her ancestors came from Haiti. She told me that my grandmother Antoinette Duvalier was a powerful Voodoo priestess who once lived in Haiti but immigrated to the U.S. as a slave. Even though she was treated like dirt by the predominant owners and whites, she was well respected by those who knew her. Legend states that she was related to Marie LaLaurie, (1787-1849), New Orleans serial killer, cruel to Creole slaves. In fact, my cousin is Clementine Barnabet, a Louisiana voodoo priestess and serial killer, killed families with an axe.

Needless to say, my mother followed in her footsteps as much as possible. Though during her life, she mostly had to work in low level secretary jobs as women didn’t have many opportunities. She taught me everything there was to know about Voodoo, cooking, singing, sewing, (and yes, cannibalism in dire circumstances, though she didn’t like to talk about that.) She warned me multiple times that magic was, indeed, real, and to never use it for evil. There were “evil” Loas as well as “good” ones. She told me that Voodoo wasn’t about cannibalism or sacrifice.

As you can imagine, I didn’t listen in the long run. For several reasons.

One was my father, Louis. A white, strong man with black hair, a mustache and French heritage. He constantly tried to shove the Bible down my throat. He would whip and abuse me whenever I didn’t meet his expectations of being a man. That bastard would sleep with other women behind my mother’s back but of course, she couldn’t do anything about it.

I was scared of him. I was tempted to cry whenever he would hit her for no apparent reason. But both my parents told me to always smile, so I did. I’ve learned to hide my emotions and keep up a façade ever since. It’s necessary when you’re a radio host by day and a serial killer by night. Nobody would suspect a friendly comedian to be the Bayou Butcher/Louisiana Lunatic of New Orleans. It’s how I managed to get away with my actions for so long until my brutal death by dogs and being shot in the head.

Two was the opportunity for power. I learned that in a hard life of bullying at school, and blatant racism for being of mixed heritage, you take any opportunity that comes your way.

I was so caught up in the prospects of deal making that even I started to believe the cannibalism and misconceptions of Voodoo.

Basically, I came across a Satanic ritual book dropped by a group of imps from Hell on accident. It was in this book that I learned about spells, cannibalism, and black magic. I came upon a passage with instructions on how to gain near unlimited power in the afterlife. I made a deal with Kalfu and the Petro Loas of destruction. (My mother supported the benevolent Rada like I did once.) It was a risky one: to gain such power, I would have to bear witness to at least three deaths, a victim, a loved one…and myself. Turns out it all happened, after I killed many victims in Kalfu’s name, and when I eventually died. My mother died from the Spanish Flu and my father got what he deserved after I tracked him down and tortured him. Strangely enough, whether it’d be guilt or his meat I ate, I felt sick for several days afterwards.

My deal with Kalfu and the dark Loas was how I got my current powers in Hell. You probably noticed my use of blood magic and how red voodoo symbols hover in the air whenever I use my powers. Not to mention me having control over voodoo imps, dolls, and shadow spirits. I am quite powerful, but I can’t use too much at once…it can be very taxing to use dark magic. But that deal was well worth it and now I make deals with other demons around at times. It’s how I got Husk and Niffty on my side…I summon them and they have no choice but to assist me!”

References:

Radford, Benjamin, (2013). “Voodoo: Facts About Misunderstood Religion” LiveScience. https://www.livescience.com/40803-voodoo-facts.html

https://www.white-magic-help.net/About_White_Magic/Voodoo_History_Basic_Principles_Background.html

https://www.learnreligions.com/voodoo-gods-4771674

Here’s what “The Radio Demon’s Guide to the Inferno” has to say about Cannibalism (Page 65)

“Along with deer meat, jambalaya and many other kinds of food, I also have a rare fondness for eating humans and demons. You’re probably thinking: ‘Oh god, how gross and horrible! Who in their right mind would eat their own kind?’

Apparently, there are some tribes and a few cultures in the world that still engage in the practice. Not to mention several killers throughout the years. There are many kinds of animals such as the cane toad and redneck spider, who eat their own kind. Human ancestors have engaged in the act for survival, or ritual purposes. And in Hell, it’s as common as getting into fights with other demons.

In early history of human species, human and Neanderthals coexisted together, interbred, ate together and sometimes ate each other. Homo antecessor, the last common ancestor between Neanderthals and modern humans would often eat rival group members. Early humans in Europe practiced ritual cannibalism.

Around the 12th century, human remains were incorporated into medical practices for remedies. “Corpse medicine” remained in use until the late 18th century. The Aztec and the Inca engaged in cannibalism as part of a sacrificial religious rite. In Germany, some executioners would sell leftover body parts as medicine. Human fat was sold as a remedy for arthritis and broken bones. Apothecaries stored fat, flesh and bone…and let’s not forget that some people eat their own placentas in modern times.

The word “cannibalism” comes from the name that the Spanish gave to the Caribs/Canibales. The Caribs were engaged in anti-colonial battles with European powers…claiming they were cannibals may have been a fear propaganda tactic by the Spanish.

In Montaigne’s late 1500s essay “Of Cannibals,” shows an anthropological record of the Tupi people in what is now Brazil. They would taunt their captives by “entertain[ing] them with threats of their own death.”

In early America, while some Native American tribes practiced cannibalism, some colonists had to resort to it, such as the Jamestown colony in 1610.

But the public commonly associates cannibalism with the Donner-Party, groups of people that were snowbound in the Sierra Mountains in 1846-47.

Famine in the USS in the 1920s and 30s took millions of lives and forced survivors to turn to cannibalism, an event known as the Great Chinese Famine.

In modern times, cannibalism is still an acceptable practice in some tribes in New Guinea, like the Korowai tribe. Until the 1950s, the Fore people ate the bodies of relatives as they believed it would cleanse their spirits.

Also, do not try self-cannibalism…you will die and I will find it hilarious. In fact, eating humans is considered taboo nearly everywhere because eating humans can make you sick. This is especially true if you eat the brain. Eating the brain can cause kuru, a brain disease similar to mad cow disease. Like any kind of meat, human meat much be properly cooked and prepared. But as I’m an undead demon, I can eat myself and others no problem. I don’t really know how I managed to survive when I ate my victims more often when I was human.

There are tons of ways to prepare humans and demons and I have used them all:

Baking in the oven

Grilling

Frying in a pan

Steaming in a pot

Barbeque

Cooking over a fire pit

Chopping them on a board and eating raw pieces

Swallowing whole

References:

Edwards, Phil. (2015) “& Surprising Facts About Cannibalism” Vox. https://www.vox.com/2015/2/17/8052239/cannibalism-surprising-facts

Talal Al-Khatib (May 13, 2015) “Cannibalism: A History of People Who Eat People.” Seeker. https://www.seeker.com/cannibalism-a-history-of-people-who-eat-people-1769840684.html

(Using a website with Vox’s name on it…life is a big slap in the face.)

Here’s what “The Radio Demon’s Guide to the Inferno” has to say about Radio Broadcasting (Page 5)

“Many folks call me the Radio Demon for good reason. One of my signature skills is the ability to broadcast what goes on around me anytime, anywhere. I’ve always loved being on center stage…I was a bit of a theater nut back in primary school. Fun fact: My shadow and I can travel through radios and produce static in the outside world in Hell.

One of the neat things about being a radio host is you can spread news to anyone in different places in the world…and no one even has to see you. In my human life, it provided me with a stable career and something to occupy my mind. My favorite things to talk about were dad jokes, cooking food, singing songs, and of course, murders that had happened. My broadcasts had to go underground when my descriptions of murders became graphic, both when I did them and when other killings were reported on the news.

My career wasn’t easy to start off with…it was quite a competitive business and I was lucky to start off as a janitor and radio repair man for a few years. My dad thought it was a worthless job but my mother supported me all the way. I slowly moved up the ladder, learning more techniques as I went along. Soon, I decided I would start my own show…become self-employed. My career really reached its peak during World War One and the start of the Roaring Twenties. I could describe all the casualties of the war to the public, talk about my own victims to my followers, all while ending with “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile,” my favorite song! I felt like I was on top of the world…not even my dad nor the ignorant folk could stop me. Like many people during the age of jazz and splendor, I basked in riches, ate good food and drinks…had tons of ladies at my feet. They were good friends, and even better victims! I was never interested in sex and romance…too many messy emotions. I didn’t want to be touched and nor down by anybody. (Thanks a lot, father.)

All this was before the police found me, my show was canceled, and my beloved radios destroyed by those seeking revenge. I smiled, I fell from grace, and I died during the Great Depression. Life really does have a twisted sense of humor.”

Experimental radio broadcasting began at the Metropolitan Opera House in New York City, 1910 with a program made by Lee De Forest. The WWJ Detroit station is considered the first radio station in the U.S. The National Broadcasting Company (NBC) presented the first national broadcast in 1926, when I was in my late twenties. From 1925 to 1950, radios were a major source of family entertainment, where people could listen to music, stories, and the news. The success of NBC brought the Columbia Broadcasting System (CBS) into creation by William Paley.

Some radio stations transmit radio signals using amplitude modulation, which became the term for AM radio. AM broadcasts can be received at long distances, but the signals and sound are affected by static. In contrast, other stations transmit signals using frequency modulation, hence the initial FM. FM waves reproduce sound better.

I died in 1933 when radio was popular. But my rival, Vox (name means Voice in Latin) died in the 1950s, when television was becoming popular. He hosted his own program and did picture shows seemingly all the time. I remember him: tall, white skinned, slick short dark hair, eyes the color of dull metal. He advertised drugs, phones, cars, and a whole bunch of things…he enjoyed money a lot. Anything new he liked, new toys, new tech, new girls, then when they didn’t work, he’d replace them. Made me sick.

In Hell, I confronted him once and told him he was a big showoff. I was quite mad that picture shows took over radio…he even called me an outdated geek with a voice of static! He had this stupid robotic voice that I couldn’t take seriously. When he shot me in the head from behind, I had enough. I held him in place with black tentacles, figuring out how he died. Then I heard someone mention his death…

So…with a loud crash, a large TV appeared out of nowhere and crushed his stupid face. I was doubling over with laughter as I left, he picked himself up and yelled, his screen face all cracked.

So, what should you do in Hell? Listen to the radio, of course! Picture shows are fun as well, but even they can’t beat the classic radio. I know you techno folk flock to TV’s and computers thanks to Vox…both are annoying in my opinion. But radios are a great source of entertainment, especially when I’m on the air. My show starts at 6AM and 6PM every other day at 66.6FM. You can find radios in a whole bunch of stores and at the Hazbin Hotel…and if you’re brave, you can find cursed ones at the Black Market (all owned by me of course). If any demon gives you trouble, you can turn the dials a bit and the radio will either crush them or suck them inside. But be careful…listening for too long may cause you to sing, dance, experience your fears, and stab anyone within six feet of you. I have plenty of radios in my lair in the shadow world beneath Hell, but you’ll never be able to go there. But just say the word and I’ll gladly store your remains in my icebox.”

References:

“Broadcasting: The History of Radio” https://law.jrank.org/pages/4873/Broadcasting-History-Radio.html

Here’s what “The Radio Demon’s Guide to the Inferno” has to say about Sewing Voodoo Dolls (Page 38)

“I have made tons of voodoo dolls both as a human and in Hell. I have my own collection of ones that resemble Charlie, Vaggie, Husk, Niffty and many others. Niffty helps me sometimes after she helps make me more clothes. Don’t tell anyone this, but I secretly snuggle with a doll I made to resemble my mother. She briefly went to Hell in the form of a powerful voodoo deer, but went up to Heaven before I got a chance to see her. It’s been decades.”

Here’s what “The Radio Demon’s Guide to the Inferno” has to say about Jazz (Page 72)

“Music has always held a special place in my heart. Growing up in New Orleans, I was surrounded by jazz, live music, and theater. Playing instruments, singing, dancing, and performing were not just fun pastimes. Doing these hobbies also helped during certain times. Take the Great Depression or the Roaring Twenties or my way to bask in the spotlight as examples. I can play lots of instruments: piano, saxophone, trumpet, violin and furby organ. If you don’t know what that is, it’s an organ made from furry robotic toys made by this “LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER” human.”

According to the National Park Service et al., the early development of jazz (1895) is associated with Charles “Buddy” Bolden, a popular bandleader. Throughout the 19th century, diverse ethnical groups cumulated their cultures and styles together, creating an evolution in music. Musicians of diverse backgrounds were united by their common love of music.

One of my role models was real life Edward “Kid” Ory, a guy who lead his own band at age 14 and entertained dancers. He was the son of a White Frenchman and a Creole Woman of Afro-Spanish and Native American heritage, pretty much like me. I’m surprised we aren’t related. During my human life, I played in bands at Economy Hall, a dance hall that provided social services such as brass band dances for the Black Community. Many well-known jazz stars included real life Louis Armstrong, Joe Oliver, Johnny and Warren Dodds etc. During the Jazz Age in the 1920s, I was quite busy indeed with radio broadcasting career, playing jazz, performing at clubs and killing people on the side in the name of Kalfu and Satan. Music helped me get through the loss of my mother’s death via the Spanish Flu. I did also get my revenge on my father and uncle but that’s a story for another time.”

References:

National Park Service. (2015) A New Orleans Jazz History https://www.nps.gov/jazz/learn/historyculture/jazz_history.htm

Here’s what “The Radio Demon’s Guide to the Inferno” has to say about the Exterminations (Page 665)

“The annual Exterminations sure are fun to watch! It’s the one day out of the year where the dark angels travel from Heaven and into Hell to purge the citizens at random. This is done to reduce the abnormally high population down here. During the 24 hours, I relax in the safety of my lair, occasionally going up to watch the slaughters from inside a building, Niffty and Husk by my side. I broadcast what goes on so other demons can have their share of entertainment. Not only am I in a safe place, but anytime the Exterminators try and surround me, I just tear them to pieces, throw them into portals or just scare them off by staring at them. There is a collection of horned Exterminator heads I have for decoration along my mantle and near the stuffed deer heads on display. Their sinister smiles and Xs over their right eyes adds to the place. Niffty sometimes comes down to my lair to help spruce it up and even when she leaves, a strong spell ensures that she will never tell anyone about its location.”

Someday when I rule Hell, the Exterminators will be the ones who are exterminated. Exterminators carry spears, swords, and harpoons which can kill any demon instantly. So I always try to be careful. I know that some demons can sell them on the black market so they can kill their enemies. I have several of them in a safe to use in emergencies.

What should you do in an Extermination? Stock up and lock up, if you’re smart. Make sure you have plenty of food, drinks and things to keep you entertained during the 24 hours. And be sure to get the stuff early unless you want to fight a dozen sinners for groceries. Exterminators fly in the open, so barricade yourself in a building with few windows and openings. If you’re unlucky enough to be out in the open, run for your life and say your prayers! You will know when it starts by the sounds of air raid sirens. When it is over, Charlie will go out to her balcony and shoot fireworks in the sky, signaling that it’s safe to go out. Feel free to fight for territory, sing, grab a drink or feast on the deceased…but get in my way and you’ll regret it.”

Here’s what “The Radio Demon’s Guide to the Inferno” has to say about Taking Over Territory (Page 187)

“When I first came to Hell, I was filled with bloodlust and dark power. Excited to be granted a new form by the shadow spirits, Satan and the Loas, I took full advantage. I toppled overlords who had ruled for centuries, and I broadcast my carnage and victories. I defeated that snake lord guy and grew my supernatural army. Many of the previous overlords didn’t have much magical power or they were easily fooled by my speeches and schemes.

But I knew that just having shadows at my beck and call weren’t enough. I needed corporeal demons to do my deeds as well. Thus I made deals with Husk, Niffty, and several others. Niffty admired me and my powers the moment I summoned her from the flames of the burning lake and into a fireplace at the hotel. She was happy to be free from the fires. My appearance and charming nature had her blushing and flustered. I told her she can do the things she enjoys: cooking, cleaning, sewing, reading and writing. Husk was more reluctant to serve me but I bribed him with money and booze… promising him “wealth and true love.” Both are beneficial: Niffty is quick on her feet and Husk is strong and good at gambling. Oh, it sure is fun to mess around with them.

Additionally, I spend time with my dear friend and performer Mimzy and Rosie, a fellow overlord. All three of us are pretty close. The demons know that I’ve conquered a territory by the presence of tall radio towers nearby. Or whenever some demons go to a certain area, they encounter some voodoo creatures and shadows who warn them to stay away.”

How do you take over territory? Choose your battles well. Don’t rush into a fight thinking you can win. Gather allies or if you’re powerful enough, just rely on yourself. The time right after the Extermination is the ideal time to claim land since many demons have perished. It’s also when many other demons fight over different areas. It’s fun to hear about it on the picture shows, especially when I’m mentioned.”

Here’s what “The Radio Demon’s Guide to the Inferno” has to say about Asexuality (Page 221)

“Some of you may or may not know this, but I’m asexual and aromantic. I’m not interested in sex nor romantic relationships with either men or women. Many of you fans have shipped me with Charlie and Angel and pretty much every other demon in Hell. Tell me mortals…why in the nine circles would I ever be into my rival Vox, or a pathetic loner scientist…or Hell forbid, Lucifer? Charlie is a lovely lady and a good friend, but if she’s no use to me for my plans in the long run, then she’s not worth it. And Angel…he’s alright, if not annoying and clingy. He invades my personal space and I certainly do not want to know what goes on in his perverted head. I’d rather get shot a dozen times than allow Angel to lay his hands on me (who knows where they’ve been). I don’t really love anyone, save for myself and my mama. It’s just the way I am.

In my time, sexuality terms did not exist. Anyone with an abnormal obsession with the opposite sex was called heterosexual. And homosexual was a derogatory term for those who were outside the norm in regards to sexuality. It was bad enough that my father and uncle chided me for not being into girls and sex like a “real man” should. The thought of merging my body with someone else’s was gross. I invade personal space, but I feel repulsed when other’s touch me…it’s like I’m not in control in the situation. Plus, even if I wanted to have sex, there’s no point as sinners can’t reproduce down here. And I don’t like to be tied down…having to accommodate my needs for someone. Aside from dancing, having the occasional dinner with someone nice, there are better things to do in my time than typical romantic antics. I learned very early on in my life that the only person I could really trust was myself…Alastor. It wasn’t hard to put up a charming exterior to make many women fall for me…including my dear friend Mimzy. The other women and men who stayed around for a while got tied up in my basement and screamed as I stabbed them and split their throats. Hey, you never know who will come into your life.”

Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction. Asexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone. Those who are aromantic are not romantically attracted to anyone. However, like sexual individuals, asexuals are different and have their own needs and levels of comfort. Some asexuals might be romantically attracted to males, females, or both. Others might desire intimacy and many are in relationships with asexuals and sexual individuals. Sadly, many asexuals feel broken and out of place due to cultural portrayals of sexuality in the media and other institutions.

References:

https://lgbt.williams.edu/homepage/10-things-you-need-to-know-about-asexuality/

Asexuality Visibility and Education Network. https://www.asexuality.org/

#hazbinhotel #alastor #the radio demon #radiodemon

9 notes · View notes