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chaosismynamemf · 1 year

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Here are headcanons bc i decided im not going to wait for someone to ask for them bc im not a wuss PT. 1

I SAID IT BEFORE AND ILL SAY IT AGAIN

REGULUS ARCTURUS BLACK IS REALLY FUCKING TALL

Remus and lily are also pretty tall

James and sirius are short kings

peter's average height and hes chill with that

hes also carries himself really like idk proper? idk. He just unconsciously has really good posture. its so fuckin elegant (Bc you KNOW that shit was drilled into him asap. sirius was the same way i think lol. I think my mans literally trained himself to slouch.)

ALSO- I regulus has autism (ik its a popular hc but idc if its popular i agree with it and i love everyone being nd and gay and pwinpiwnpinqfp I NEED REPRESENTATION ALR??)

Reg also has bipolar disorder and anxiety ptsd and depression

Sirius has bpd and ocd and ptsd bc i have bpd and ocd and i said so

james has adhd

remus has depression and anxiety

peter is the token nt friend lmao once again hes just chillin

hes vv supportive tho and is as helpful as he can be you wont catch him slippin and being ignorant and weird about his friends and they mental illness. Nuh-uh no sir.

Ok so i dunno much about the slytherin skittles or like Marlene, dorcus (is she apart of slytherin skittles?? idk man) ,mary, etc etc

But i see them everywhere in the fandom sooooo yall best be aware ive gotten attached to these fuckers

Marlene

She is SO FUCKIN HOT

Gods

So hot

She could step on me

Her and sirius are besties. Leather jacket duo if you will.

OK BUT REGULUS IN PLATFORMS???

Just thought of that and i am in love

Ugh this man is my everything

i honestly just wanna be his best friend

deadass

but anyways

i actually like the idea of regulus and sirius having similar music tastes and exchanging music reccs

dont come at me lmao

Literally reggie and sirius are just 2 sides of the same coin

this post is getting really fuckin long. BUT IDC

i wanna talk about my VERY MUCH ALIVE AND WELL AND HAPPY gay wizards

i dont know much about other cultures or anything like that.

so im not gonna go willy nilly and assign a bunch of headcanons on race or ethnicity or whatever

but i am TELLING YOU, YEA YOU

my wizard babies were not all white

We can all agree on this yes?

james has a little bump on the bridge of his nose.

And dimples

regulus and sirius getting drunk would either be really really funny or really really depressing

There is no in between

regulus is the type to not heavily drink all too often but when he does? my mans is blackout

the next morning? he dont know shit, legit if he DOES remember anything? hes like "mustve been a funky dream"

Yes regulus says funky

i honestly dont gaf that marauders era is set in like the 70's

Regulus deadass acts like gen Z incarnated, and you wouldnt be able to snatch this from my cold dead hands

even then i wouldnt let go

id wake up to bitch slap you

bitch

ANYWAYS

I think that regulus has like really explosive anger and sirius actually has like the quiet, you know im angry, what'cha gonna do about it?

my logic is that regulus has for the longest time kept all of his emotions and opinions to himself bc he literally couldnt express them because he was barely surviving as is

regulus speaking his mind about anything would be suicide

Now the opposite is for sirius ofc

sirius from pretty early got to scream and shout what he thought and felt until he lost his voice

He got a lot of it out of his system

he hasnt HAD to bottle up enough anger to be explosive

Also jus sayin i set all of this in a everyone lives, nobody dies universe

voldemort is killed in the 1st war because regulus survived the cave and ended up on Order of the phoenix's doorstep bein like

"Let me in, i got sum shit to tell you"

Man's is soaking wet and has a look so intense noone can tell him no

And so my mans joins the order and ends the war MUCH MUCH EARLIER

pop off buddy

love ya, mean it

nobody really trusted him at first

and i mean it

regulus was vv alienated at first (Not by dorcus, but dorcus is only one person and cant keep the caution and disgust and animosity away completely)

and you know what??

He was hurt he was angry he was depressed and he was so so over this shit

So he screamed until he was hoarse and told them to get their heads outta their asses bc he was here to help and here to stay

he knows he fucked up and he is self aware to know that he couldve been called the "bad guy" on many occasions

but that doesnt fuckin matter anymore because hes apart of their little hero club now and he is not being shunned just because he was a dumb kid who made mistakes

long story short my dudes like "SO-if you're going to talk shit, either say it to my face or keep quiet. ight?"

vv quickly after that people choose to keep quiet and actually yknow interact with him and see for themselves that he is not the boogie man hiding under their bed waiting to fuck them over.

I love angry, unhinged, doesnt gaf anymore regulus

Hes been through too much to be calm cool and collected towards people who he doesnt give a shit about (i mean he will but still)

ANYWAYS (can you tell i have adhd? if not i vv much am)

Regulus yanks his school besties (Even and barty) away from voldemort. I think my mans straight up yoinked them.

after the war he reaches out to pandora

this is getting really long so i will make another part lmao

LOOK YOU CANT BLAME ME

these characters couldve been so dynamic and complex

and jkr ROBBED US

#jkr is trash #i hate her #anyways #I love my dead gay wizards #Except they aren't dead :)#jegulus headcanon #james x regulus #james & peter & remus & sirius #peter pettigrew #regulus #sirius and regulus #marauders era #harry potter fandom #regulus headcanon #regulus being regulus #regulus and evan and barty #regulus deserved better #black brothers

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lawisnotmocked · 2 years

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Hello sir. You will probably either find this deeply offensive or hilarious but lately I have an obsession with the character of Javert as I recently watched the 2012 Les Mis because “oh the memes about it back in the day were classic.” Yes I am serious sometimes I watch movies just because I liked a YTP of it. Then I find out that in addition to being perfect meme fodder, Javert has a weird one-sided (??) pseudo enemies to loves dynamic with the loaf of bread guy (I did not know his name until like three days ago to me he was always just the guy who sang “I stole a loaf of bread.”)These types of characters who give vibes like they’re lgbt, have dog or cat-like qualities, and are overly dramatic typically become my Blorbos (a similar example would be majima from RGG who’s also a crazy dog-like man who attacks his crush.) SO what I am requesting is could you please give me your crack headcanons about Javert? Like funny shit about Javert. If you have recommends for crack fics about Javert I’d appreciate it, bonus points if any of the headcanons/fics are Valvert cuz idk I just find them really funny together. Prob mostly because of the memes not gonna lie. If you could also educate me on Valjean and Javert’s mannerisms in the Brick I would be most appreciative because to be totally real with u… I’m so sorry but I don’t wanna read or watch parts that are not about him or loaf guy 😬 (ya I kno shame on me and all that…) but I need to know more about how they act so I can make hideous crack fics of my own. Thank u 🙏🐶

First of all anon how does it feel to be the funniest person on the internet this is the best ask I’ve ever received :’3

Even without crack headcanons brick Javert is just absolutely hilarious as a character?? I feel like a lot of adaptations try to take him too seriously and like yeah he does have a serious and tragic aspect to his character but he’s also a very fruity drama queen who has like 0 awareness of his surroundings, acts like a feral dog on crack and has this weird magic power that allows him to know people’s real identity no matter how well disguised they are. (I maintain that les mis does have a form of magic system in the brick but it’s more like mundane mostly useless superpowers?? Like super strength that just makes you a little bit more strong that an average person, or really good instincts or something. Anyway lol)

Some Actual Canon Facts about Javert from the brick are:

- Is implied to have the soul of a dog

- Bares all of his teeth when he smiles

- Fucking hates reading but does it anyway

- Keeps a snuffbox on him at all times and snorts snuff after he feels like an arrest has gone well

- Dissociates for a solid 5 minutes and misses the entirety of a conversation bc someone said something he didn’t agree with

- I know the ‘you need to punish me Mr Mayor’ scene is in the movie but it’s so much funnier in the brick :’3

- Accidentally sets his coat on fire by standing too close to the stove

- Announces himself to Thenardier’s criminal gang who he’s about to arrest by making a stupid joke

- Tells Thenardier that he can shoot him if he wants because the gun will just misfire. Thenardier shoots him and the gun misfires.

- Doesn’t really have any friends and his coworkers don’t like him either because he doesn’t take bribes and refuses to work with criminals to catch other criminals

- There’s an entire Code Of Symbolism in the brick thats purpose is to represent how horny Javert is, which I wrote about here along with some other Javert related stuff

This man is just a fucking disaster honestly :’3 I headcanon that’s he’s ADHD, autistic, severely depressed and probably has some form of childhood PTSD?? But I’ve also seen other people headcanon that he has BPD or OCD and honestly all of them are good hcs because he’s absolutely neurodivergent.

I absolutely understand not wanting to read the whole brick if you only care about two of the characters lol, but the Hapgood English translation of the brick is public domain so I’ve linked a couple of Javert chapters you might find funny!

Javert’s introduction | punish me mr mayor | Javert lends Marius two pistols he never gets back and burns his coat on the stove | Javert arrests Thenardier and tells him to shoot him

Brick Valjean is also a chaotic bitch but he’s less camp and more like a cryptid with PTSD. Off the top of my head he:

- Sews money into the inside of his coat when Cosette is young

- Keeps the rest of his money buried in the woods

- Accidentally convinces some townspeople that he’s the devil by sneaking around said woods

- Stuffs his pockets with wigs and disguises in case he ever needs to make a quick getaway

- Someone tries to rob him and he tackles them to the ground then lectures them on how they should let god into their heart and stop stealing

- Holds a hot poker against his arm when Thenardier tries to extort him for money to intimidate him

- He just really loves Cosette this isn’t a funny or anything he just really loves his daughter and wants the best for her

In the brick Javert also doesn’t even actively seek out Valjean?? They go years without thinking about each other then they run into each other again in the weirdest circumstances and go ‘omg not this weirdo again 🙄’

As for my own favourite crack headcanons :3c

- Modern au Javert is a furry. His fursona is a wolfdog called Orion :-)

- [NSFW] He’s unironically into vore

- He wants a fursuit very badly but he can’t afford it until he’s dating Valjean and Valjean buys him one

- Valjean doesn’t get it but he’s glad his partner is happy :-)

- [NSFW] In my ideal Javert lives modern au he quits the police, goes to therapy and joins a kink group because I think he’d thrive in that environment 😌

- Valjean has like 5 fake driver’s licenses

- Javert will literally comment on how hot he finds a man and still doesn’t realise he’s gay until he makes out with Valjean. Thinks he’s straight even though he’s never been attracted to a woman before. Is literally that unaware of his own feelings.

- Valjean has no fashion sense. He dresses so bad that it comes full circle and it looks like his outfit clashes intentionally. Cosette is horrified.

- Javert is awful to watch movies with, especially detective movies, because he talks the whole time and points out all the inaccuracies

- Valjean never makes eye contact. Javert makes too much very intense eye contact.

- No one invites them to events because they’re awful together. Javert shit talks people’s outfits or decor very loudly to Valjean and Valjean hates socialising and doesn’t want to be there

I don’t think I know any good crack fic bc I mostly just read angst lol uwu’’ but if anyone has any suggestions pls feel free to add them!! I’ll add links if I think of anything though 😌

#javert #jean valjean #valvert

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sapphicmsmarvel · 3 years

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You Are Strong

masterlist

HP masterlist

TWS: describing anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, an eating disorder (ARFID).

I am basing all of this off of my own issues because this is how I cope. Please, PLEASE, do not read if you are triggered by any of the topics above.

-When you told him you struggled with anxiety and depression, he went to the library and tried to find as much research on those topics.

-He even asked Hermione for help (she’s your best friend and does know about it), she gave him tips and tricks and pretty soon he was a great help with this stuff.

-He has a fucking spidey-sense when it comes to your moods and how you’re feeling.

-He's as loving as can be. Patient, he’s understanding, he makes sure you take the first move because he knows during anxiety and panic attacks usually people don’t wanna be touched.

-With your mental health, aka your anxiety and feeling overwhelmed in situations, that can lead to intense spouts of anger.

-He doesn’t have to worry about you being mad at him, because he knows you’ll outright tell him.

-But you don't tell anyone else.

-“I’m so angry that I'm shaking, Freddie.” You said with tears in your eyes.

“I know love, why don’t we get the fidget cube and you can hit the button over and over.”

“It won’t annoy you?”

“Never. You never annoy me.”

-He always carries a pen. You thought it was because he wanted to always be prepared if you were feeling randomly anxious, so you could just click it over and over.

- He also always made sure there was sour candy inside of his dormitory, the reason was because he knew of the sour candy trick. (eating sour candy will sometimes help with anxiety because all your brain will focus on is that candy).

-You gave him the password for your common room in case your mental health got bad and you didn’t get out of bed. Also everyone in your house were aware of what he was there for, and didn’t give him shit since he was helping you.

-Draco may hate Fred Weasley, but he was helping you, the house’s head-girl.

-Anywho, you guys follow a “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” rule. He’d ask if he can hold you, you’d give an answer, if you wanted food, if you wanted him there, etc.

-He learned early on that the first thing to go out when you’re having a bad day is your talking. But you two worked out a system to keep communication between the two of you alive.

-You struggled with eating, you had an eating disorder called ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder).

-He noticed one day you weren’t eating your normal amount, he thought nothing of it. Then, the habit continued.

“Hissy?”

“Hm?” You said, looking at your textbook.

“Why...haven’t you been eating lately?”

You sighed, “I was hoping you wouldn't notice if I’m being honest here.”

“Of course, I’ll notice.”

You sighed, “I struggle with an eating disorder, it’s called ARFID. It means Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. It’s not the same as binge eating or anorexia, I just limit my intake.”

“Why?’

“Because it’s linked to my mental health. I know I’m bigger than most girls and sometimes…” you shrugged. “I get insecure. And it links to body dysmorphia as well and I just have issues with my body due to trauma.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want your pity, Fredward.” You said with a smile.

“I know, and it isn't pity. I’m sorry that you’ve been going through this alone. Is there anything I can do to help?”

You shrugged, “it goes in and out. SOmetimes I won’t relapse for a year and sometimes it’s for a month. It happens when there’s a big food related event around the corner, or a dance and I’ll diet myself.”

He connected the dots. “Like the Yule Ball.”

You nodded, “like the Yule Ball.

-Since that conversation, he’s hyped you up even more than usual. At the Yule Ball, it was the first time at a fancy event that you didn’t avoid eating the day before.

-You had an amazing time that night, the next week though, you were feeling guilty.

-In Fred’s dorm one night, you spoke.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He looked up at you from your lap.

“For being so depressing of a person.” You were avoiding looking at him completely.

He immediately sat up. “Hey.” He said gently, you looked at him with tears in your eyes. “Why would you say that?”

“Because, I know this stuff can be a burden.” You whispered.

“Who on earth made you feel like you were a burden?” You shrugged, “people I used to be around.”

“Fuck. Them.” He said, “you are so valid in what you feel, you are strong. You are the strongest person I know. To be battling your own mind and body everyday, you put others before yourself despite the fact that you are in a war all by yourself. I’ll never know what it’s like to deal with this stuff, but you take it and you deal with it. You put a smile on and you make sure others feel happy. Last week, Ginny was crying and you held her, you gave her such loving advice. You could’ve brushed her off, you could’ve told her you were dealing with stuff and didn't have time, but you made time. You make time to help others despite the shit you deal with on the daily. I love you, and you are never a burden to me.”

#fred weasly x reader #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x slytherin!reader #fred weasley x you #fred weasley #slytherin

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