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fallinfl0wers · 3 years

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May request prompt

"Even if we're far apart, I'll keep singing for you with all my love." Unbalance Shadow - ZOOL

For Haruka from i7 please?

7. “Even if we’re far apart, I’ll keep singing for you with all my love.” Unbalance Shadow - ZOOL from the lyric prompt list! thank you for your request!! i love haruka so so so much, he's my favorite character in i7! >< also! i'm trying a slightly new format that i'll be aplying to my future posts! i'll also start editing the old ones just beause,, yeah i think it looks cute. the colored letters aren't part of the format, but i felt like they fit here so lol on a slightly sadder note, the first draft of this got deleted on accident and i had been sulking about it for a while but lol here we are warnings: gn reader, light hurt/comfort, fluff, long-distance relationships, set sometime in the future of i7's story, though this is pretty much fluff without plot,,, word count: 1623 words

"Up next are Natsume-san and Isumi-san, three minutes!" the voice of a staff member makes him look up from the screen of his phone, where he had been aimlessly scrolling down on his SNS while the hairstylists did his hair.

"Yeah, understood." He answers, putting his phone down on the table as a makeup artist retouches his makeup.

The young idol then walked alongside his unitmate to enter the dark stage, adjusting his in-ear monitor as he sat down on the chair preppared for him beforehand, surrounded by the expectant, excited whispers of the audience who waved their lightsticks in support for their favorite idols. Scanning the audience with his eyes, he clutched his microphone.

The spotlights landed on the two idols as the music started to play and they could hear the cheering of their fans before they quieted down, in order to hear their singing.

"I wandered, lost in my loneliness like a desert without roads."

Haruka Isumi didn't need anyone at his side to be the best, everyone will just drop him the moment the next shiny, newest toy appears in front of them. At least, that's what his experience had taught him.

"There, a single, tiny flower became the melody of love."

Then everything happened. ZOOL happened. But more importantly, you happened.

He, who didn't care for almost anything anymore, became infatuated with you. He fell in love with you, who always looked at him and appreciated him, you, who always supported him and never laughed at him.

"My tears suddenly fell, shaking the green leaves."

You, who helped him through each and every one of his worst moments and were there to laugh with him during his best moments, you, who were both his best friend and his dear, dear lover.

"Wow, 'the weaker you become...'"

You, who always supported him on his dreams and were the first one to congratulate him on everything he achieved.

You, who he was now supporting as you walked to your own dreams.

You, who were walking towards your dreams, far, far away from him.

"(So, don't look back)."

"'...the kinder...'"

You, who he hoped woke up earlier than usual today just to see him singing live even if it was through a computer.

"(Sharing, big love)."

"'...you'll become.' Your gentle warmth taught me that."

You, who taught him everything he knew about romantic love, who showed him that there was more to people than hatred and betrayal. So warm and gentle, you always made him feel like he belonged somewhere.

But you're not next to him, not anymore. Not physically, at least.

But, that's alright. It hurts, it hurts so much and it makes him anxious constantly even if he'd never admit it out loud. But that's alright.

"Like the falling rain, we are not alone."

That's alright, even if it hurts and it brings scary, unwanted thoughts into his mind, it's alright. It's alright, because he knows you're doing what you love just like he is.

And it's alright, because he's not the weak, arrogant crybaby he was when you met. He's stronger now, he has grown up, he's mature. He can handle this. He can keep this going. He can support you without crying every night for your absence.

"Beneath this wide sky, even if you're on the other side of the world, I'm thinking--"

"--of you again today."

It's alright, because he knows you've grown up as well, he knows neither of you is a stupid, oh so stupid and inexperienced highschooler like when you first met. He knows, you both can be stronger than this distance.

"(Unbalance, Unbalance)."

"Look, the crescent moon is beautiful, isn't it?"

He knows this, and still...

He can't help but get worried, sometimes.

"(Unbalance, Unbalance)."

"I want to envelop everything..."

He can't help but worry that you'll get tired of this. Tired of him always being busy, of your schedules never matching, of how he still has to keep you as a secret to protect you from the tabloids and his crazed fans. Worry that you might find someone who has less trouble giving affection, someone who can love you better than him.

Though all his worries wash away, everytime you send him a picture of his newest merchandise that just arrived to your apartment and a cute stamp through RabbitChat at ungodly hours for him, followed by the usual voice note saying 'i love you'.

He knows you have your own fears about it all, as well. But he's told you, over and over again, without ever feeling annoyed, that he only has eyes for you, no matter how many pretty actresses and idols try to snatch him away, the only person he loves in that way is you and only you.

There has never been anyone else but you inside his heart.

You're the only one Haruka wants to spend his whole life with, the only one who can fully understand him and love him.

"...Just as the gentle wind loves the sea..."

And no matter how longer you may have to be apart, how many people you both will meet and how many worries there will be in between before you can next meet again, he wants to and will make sure to remind you daily that he loves you and will love you until he takes his last breath.

"Even if we're far apart, I'll keep singing for you with all my love."

He lifts his gaze to look at the camera with a content sparkle hidden in his eyes, once his next line comes around.

"I wish you--"

("I got a scholarship to finish my college studies overseas, Haruka!" You told him a couple years ago.)

"--happiness."

("I'll be here waiting for you to comeback when you're ready." He called your name that night at the airport, hugging you close before you took off.)

"This seed of happiness that I touched exists to protect the person I love."

("It must be hard for you, isn't it? You don't need to call me every day if you're too tired to do it. I can wait for as long as you need.")

"Our words dissolve in the twilight."

("Nonsense! I... am, tired, but! You must be tired too, right? Get some rest, I'll hang up if you promise you're going to rest too!")

"That seed of happiness that you touched reaches out to someone I don't know."

("I saw that selfie you posted with those two from ainana, I'm so happy to see you really have friends!" "Why did you even doubt that?!" "I worry about you, since I can't see you everyday and all that...")

"Because the circle of love that connects us lights up tomorrow."

("I miss you." "I know, I miss you too." "Let's try to meet during my summer break?" "I already told you, didn't I? I can wait for as long as you need, dummy.")

"Look, it has started to rain."

("Isn't it almost midnight there? Go to sleep." "But I wanna talk more with you..." "You're so hopeless... Go on, sleep, I'm not going anywhere until you sleep." "Hehehe, can I get a lullaby from you before I sleep?" "There's no helping it, right? You really get needy when it's late at night." "But you love anyway, so it works out...~")

"I want to envelop everything, Shadow."

("...Yeah, I love you.")

"Today's live was amazing, Haruka!" Your voice tells him through the phone while he layed down on his bed, late at night in his timezone. "Everyone was so cool, but you were the coolest! The whole time you were on screen I was all like 'Yes this is my boyfriend just look at him go he's so amazing!!!'"

He chuckled at your words, a loving gaze softening his gaze while he listened to your voice.

"I know, right? Praise me more, praise me more~ But only after you tell me, did you sleep early yesterday to wake up early today?"

"I totally did! I wouldn't miss one of your shows if I can help it!"

Though most of the times you couldn't.

He still felt his heartbeat race up at your support.

"You're so cute, did you know that?"

"Eh-? Why tell me that all of a sudden?!"

"Because..." He yawned. "I want to." You went silent for a second, before speaking again.

"You're tired, aren't you? You should go to sleep..."

"No... wanna talk to you more..."

He can already hear your tender smile just from your words alone.

"Go ahead, Haruka. You did well today, you deserve some rest."

"Do I get a lullaby from you to sleep?"

You chuckled.

"Yeah, of course. You are so needy when it's late at night..."

"Like you're one to talk."

"I know, I know."

He smiles, hearing you giggle through the phone.

"I wish I could hold you until you fell asleep right now... But since I can, you'll have to do with me singing my new favorite song for you~"

"'s okay, I like your voice. I'd listen to your voice the whole day if you wanted me to."

"Then... I'll start..." You cleared your throat, and he couldn't help but smile to himself again when he heard the lyrics of his duet song with Minami.

You're not a singer like he is, and you of course haven't trained your voice for as long as he has, he knows that and he still loves the sound of your singing voice.

He drifts off to sleep with your voice as his lullaby, and he knows you both hold true to the lyrics for as long as you need to.

"Even if we're far apart, I'll keep singing for you with all my love...~"

#idolish7 #idolish seven #idolish7 headcanons #idolish7 x reader #haruka isumi #idolish7 zool #idolish7 imagines #haruka isumi x reader #isumi haruka x reader #isumi haruka #melodywritings #melwritesainana

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docholligay · 3 years

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LIVESTREAM WINNERS AND TOP POINT COMMENTS

THose of you who read the schedule already know this but the winners are:

HOLLIGAY INVOKES THE SPIRIT OF CLOSET GHOST

and

WE COOK FOR DINNER IN THE APOCALYPSE

Please join me for both! It’ should be a terrifying, thrilling time.

AND NOW, THOSE OF YOU WHO MADE ME FEEL THE WARMEST. Thank you to all who answered--I know this was super self indulgent and it means a lot to me that you took the time. So, literally 12 out of the 13 of you got at least one point (One person did not give any details, or even a quote) MAZEL.

Point allocations are below!!

One point winners:

4(?)ish years ago, you sent Jet a series of letters/cards/funeral lilies, from different Sailor Moon characters. The lilies were for Mako. One card was from Michiru, after Haruka's death. I have never been able to find them again, but I just loved the care you put into them--how they were all written specifically from the character, the fact that you even put tear stains and perfume on the cards. It was just so creative and touching, and it felt like the characters were real for an instant, mourning and living and giving you a peek at their lives. --- @kumeko (That was A Little Letter, and Mako’s was actually a separate thing for the same contest!)

“Before you get yourselves killed I want to go on record as saying this is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.” Rei stood with her hands on her hips at the front of the garage- from that short story about Mina and Haruka strapping an engine to a shopping cart. You can really feel how rei must feel, the resigned exasperation mixed with genuine, but hidden, concern for Mina and haruka’s safety. I think i have said the exactsame thing before people i know do stupid shit. --- BeefSalad33 (oh ma, an oldie but, I think, a goodie)

OH MAN. I am always thinking nonstop about that piece where Minako confronts Seiya about bullying Haruka, specifically for the line where Mina spits out "you think she'll love you for this?" and UGH that LINE. it HAUNTS me, I want to BITE DOWN ON IT AND NEVER LET GO, I WANT TO PUT IT EVERYWHERE EVER BECAUSE IT HURTS SO GOOD, AND I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT SEIYA. --- @wouldntyoulichentoknow (I’m so glad that I’ve managed to make both you and jetty grit your teeth and care about Seiya at some point ahahah)

"*But flowers grow from death and decay, don’t they? That has always been true, you know that, Mako. You are a rose of perfect beauty, grown in the rich fertilizer of your loss.*

She threw the stress ball across the room, knocking over the cup on the sink, spilling the ice down the drain."

The contrast between reminding herself of how life works, and then still being bitter about it, and knowing what she is and being frustrated about it. It's a lot, when sorting out various issues- i have trauma, and that makes me better at empathizing with people, i'm adaptable long-term, and that means i can put up with some bullshit, that kind of thing, but that doesn't mean those are wholly good things. It's nice to see it put into words, and so plainly, and with such a strong reaction of it.

Roses can still grow wild, as pretentious as that sounds with how your passage resonates to me, but it's still nice to feel that. ---- @katrani (I’m so glad it resonates with you! I liked that line a lot! )

2 point answers:

Christmas Carol, Stave 1 - “You are a terrible person,” she jutted out her chin, feigning strength. “Fareeha deserved much better than you. But,” she took a deep breath. “I still hope she forgives you, someday. Someday, I hope you will deserve it.” It feels like cheating to use the most recent thing you’ve written, but nonetheless this section conveys so much about your take on Mercy, so quickly. She may be an idealist, the peacekeeper and builder, and she may want Pharah to have a relationship with her mother that’s not this disaster, but that doesn’t stop her from acknowledging that Ana’s been the primary factor in making it what it is and telling Ana that directly. I love how you write Mercy (and Tracer for that matter) as very warm characters who try to see the best in their situations but won’t gloss over the fact that sometimes, someone does have to be shot in the fucking face. “Good” doesn’t mean “hopelessly naive”, even with a pacifist, and I appreciate that you have characters who show that.

Bonus, and a fringe case as technically part of the Fushigi Yuigi hateblog: “She was still trying to get home, had been unable to get Tamahome to let her poison him, and then Nakago had hugged her into his chest until she had been forced to flatten him with a punch to the nads. She was tired, she was hungry, and she was trying to have a moonlight bath to consider her options and wash the stink of a man off of her.

And then, Tamahome, again.” - Haruka-gets-dumped-into-Fushigi-Yuugi-as-Yui was a delight that entire episode, but this post was one of the best. Is it really just narrativizing your frustrations with the many, many writing choices that were made here? Absolutely. But it’s a fun little bit of comedic pacing here, especially with the utter exhaustion of Haruka that this bullshit isn’t over yet. (“Fuck my life” to the moon wondering if Usagi could help and regretting how hard it would be to drown herself are close runners-up on that front.) --- Regalli

(Mercy is, in many ways, my attempt to write someone who is MOSTLY a pacifist that I can respect. It’s not easy for me! I often find pacifism to be cowardice, because so often in life the people I know who are pacifists are, well, not the folks in the street. So i thought, could you write someone who is very hesitant to kill, who believes that even Doomfist, even Reaper, even whoever, deserve care if they are hurt, who believes that a sword will not leave her hand free to uplift the fallen, and make her brave? And make her strong? And so was born, Mercy, who proved that, yeah that person, at least in my mind, can exist.)

I think one of my favorite passages from your writing is from "The Rest is Commentary". Particularly the part that starts with "I am a doer. " That entire paragraph is wonderfully written, with mix of beautifully descriptive language to describe *why* you don't trust words. It's slightly paradoxical, but it also fits with the rest of the essay (?) so well. And even beyond that, I love reading when you write about your faith. You are deeply devout woman, and a personal aspiration to me. When you write about your faith, it reminds me that there is work that needs to be done to live it, and not easy work either. But it is very much worth every bead of sweat, and every drop of blood. --- @shavedjudomonkey

(Thank you so much! I love that people have connected so much with my Jewish writing)

3 point answers:

From Requiem for the Great Consummation, I adore the word play with "compose." Ie, in the line, "Michiru folded her hands in her lap and composed herself." Why? I'm a musician. So, Michiru, with her music, holds a special place in my heart. (Why Ami gets the music attacks is beyond me. WTF?) I don't think the writers ever really understood what it takes to be a musician, and while fanfic writers often include Michiru's music, I've never really seen it done well. (I'm sure it has been. I just haven't seen it.) Music is all about structure. It has to feel free and soaring, but it can only be that because of the intense amounts of tension and structure underneath. A kite without a string plummets. When I reach for high, soaring notes, that's when I have to be most conscious of having a solid base. Making music Is constant tension. So, often when I see writers portray musicians, it's all "she never felt so free and untethered as when she sang/played the,violin/piano/whatever." And I think, "wow, really? She must have been Crap." So, back to compose/compose. This wordplay shows that tension. The "I have rehearsed this 5,000 times and am still working so hard I'm sweating standing still in this freezing auditorium so that it can look and sound completely free and easy." This is Michiru's entire life. She is composing herself. She is outlining complex rhythms and tensions and resolutions that even though you hear when the piece is played, you don't fully take in or understand, and all you consciously comprehend is 'wow, pretty.' Because that's how music works. Organs have keys that can't be heard by the human ear, and composers include them in their pieces. Why? We can't hear them! But we feel them. If you look at the score for an orchestral piece, it contains So. Many. Notes. So much going on. But when you listen, all you hear is that melodic theme. But if you take out anything underneath, things change and cam fall apart. Michiru lives her life like that. She creates herself, composes herself, and it looks elegant and free and easy, but it is so so very tightly controlled and rehearsed, and that particular wordplay showed off that side of Michiru's music, which is one I don't get to see explored much. --- @incorrecttact

(Thank you so much for this!! I am NOT a musician, but so much of Michiru and music speaks to me, the structure of it, the discipline, the way it allows you to express yourself while hiding behind something else. And yes! I think of that double meaning so much!)

I want you to know... that this was very, very difficult. I made a notepad and collected shit I'd pulled out from your work where I could find comments where I did such, and then I AGONIZED. Here is where I landed but know it's so close with other things god.

"Winston worked in earnest at his inventions, and Emily went back to teaching, and the two of them began to cook for each other again. Family dinners once a week resumed, grew with some of the new recruits that were being folded into their family. Pharah and Mercy’s daughter took them to the zoo, the park, out into the world. Dva had continued the game they had all been playing before Tracer died, their party picking up after the terrible and well-done loss of their beloved rogue. ***Life did not return, but it grew forward. It bloomed again.***" — A Clock's Fading Chime

I ended up choosing this one because I hate it a little when I read it. Not because it's not good but because it's SO PAINFUL. I love so much about the way you talk about love, and I think grief is all a part of that. We grieve because we loved. The idea of the grief period, especially for those in a close circle of a lost person, being like the cycle of the seasons where a flower may die but life blossoms in the soil it left behind is so evocative and perfect and everything leading up to that last line is the soil for which that line got to bloom. The slow, simple way life returns to them, that they adjust to the heavy rock in their pack (A piece of yours I revisited for this and a metaphor I will always carry with me) and start growing stronger together. And that they find it WITH EACH OTHER too just god, it kills me. But would I rather wish it wasn't necessary? YUP. FOR SURE. It hurts to think about someone who plays Lena's role dying in our own lives and trying to mend the rift between those left behind. But it brings all those possibilities and who may have gone already before to mind because it feels so grounded in the reality of what these experiences are like and shit it's just a great sampling of everything I love about your work. Beautiful prose, saying so much with so little, grounded in stuff that feels read, and ending on a banger, transfixing line. ---- @thoughtfulfangirling

(Thank you so much! I LOVED that whole series of fics around that, as it is in the way that I often like to toy with the nature of grief, and the way that we go on. Things aren’t ever the same, but we go on. And I’m so glad you gt into it too! It’s very self-indulgent for me, basically everything with OW, so I love when other poepl like it)

4 point answers:

Given that I am not Jewish, I hope this isn't overstepping my bounds, but your passover Seder speech really spoke to me this year. Specifically the bits about the relationship between cowardice and metaphorical bondage:

"This is a celebration of our freedom from bondage, but it is a also a reminder, a call that we must ensure we do not, in cowardice, return ourselves to bondage. "

Without explaining too much, and risking the kind of parasocial oversharing that you lamented the other day in a post, this particular push and pull has been at the forefront of my mind this year. The intense gravity that the familiar, the easy, the safe, can have, versus the genuine terror of pressing out into the unknown in search of something better.

Trying to change, and to do better, and to press on, is fucking terrifying, and hard. But, that is not an excuse. And I appreciated the reminder. --- @blastoise-m

(Not overstepping at all! I am so glad that it speaks to you, I really, really love this kind of writing, and I really should get back to doing more of my Jewish writing. My rabbi is leaving, because we apparently don’t have the money to have a rabbi! And he’s readying people to be lay leaders, and called on me to be someone who could give Divrei Torah (sort of like our sermons) because of my tendency to do stuff like this, and it’s very scary! But really exciting as that’s the kind of stuff that had me interested in being a rabbi, is picking this stuff apart and applying it to our own lives HI YOU ASKED FOR NONE OF THIS SORRY)

"There are no beautiful deaths in this world, and am sorry that you must know it. Rei never was allowed to say goodbye. I watched Haruka grow weaker and more ill every single day. We each have been jealous of the other, at turns, but I tell you this truth now: Our lives mean much more than our deaths. You and Seiya had a wonderful love story, and you raised a wonderful daughter, and unfortunately it is very often difficult to finish a story in a satisfying sort of way. It is not the end of your story, simply of hers. For you, it is a new chapter"

I think this is still one of my top 5 fav fics that you've ever written. I still think of it randomly once in a while. It's such a small moment but it sold me Usagi and Seiya in a way never would have expected. It's such a moment of growth for both Usagi and Muchiru. A small moment of connection for two people who are so different.

This is wrapped up in the entire MaS series, which I could never separate from this work let alone this quote. The entire series is a series about love and all its many permutations. About finding meaning in a world when you think your meaning has been taken away. About carrying on when you think there's no reason to do so. And I think this quote really encapsulates all of that.

This story, this entire series, is one the favorite things I've ever read and I'm so glad that you decided to share it. --- @madegeeky

(I truly and in all ways love how much you love this fic, it cheers em and makes me so happy every time I am reminded of it. And thank you for loving that line! I FEEL that line. It’s been true for every death that has come to me, so I love when it has meaning for others. )

The 5 point answer:

"God separated the sky and the sea, and that’s true, but there will always be the horizon where they blend."

I'm not much of a quote person. I'll often remember the feeling or the takeaway but rarely the words themselves. This, though, has stuck with me.

There is so much in this world, and so many people, who see everything as absolutes. Black and white. Good or bad. Right or wrong. And as I've grown and changed, that has come to bother me more and more.

This quote is such an elegant and accessible way to express how that oh-so-common point of view is a fallacy. And really it's just a lovely line that invokes both lovely imagery and feeling. ---- @seolh

I FORGOT I WROTE THIS, and like the completely arrogant piece of shit I am, when I read it was I was like, “Oh fuck, that’s a solid line.” And yes I am with you on getting older and relizing that the horizon line can be so fuzzy out there, sometimes, and this quote WEIRDLY came back to me when I needed it, a lot, and so thank you!

#names for thing

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cetaceans-pls · 4 years

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Appropriate Times and Appropriate Places

My gift for @svanavrika, as part of the @tachibanamakotobirthdayexchange! Thank you for your really fun list, this one covers Elemental Magic and Coach/Swimmer c: I hope you like it!

Time and tide waits for no man, allegedly. Haru’s happily an exception to the rule; it’s pretty easy to deal with tides when you’re a supremely gifted water bender. And as for time....

No matter the occasion, he always, always has time for Makoto.

Free! AU, MakoHaru

Haru has been an absurdly strong water bender for as long as he can remember. Bath time was an excuse to sit in the tub and let his power run wild, because his mother can’t scold him for getting the bathroom wet, it’s the bathroom. His parents are always happy to be both incredibly proud and incredibly embarrassing, and enjoy loudly proclaiming that he learned how to swim well before he learned how to walk. It’s a weird boast, but it’s the job of parents the world over to boast about weird things about their children, so Haru never corrects them about it.

It’s not really swimming, so much as it is just… becoming the water. It’s general knowledge that powerful elemental benders can melt into their element, and Iwatobi’s been a hotbed of exceptional benders for centuries (it must be the quality of mackerel, if you ask Haru), so everyone’s pretty used to kids crumbling into the sand when they’re embarrassed or having their hair catch fire when they’re upset. When he’s happy, Haru dissolves into water, and when he’s upset, Haru can officially draw the ocean to him up to a maximum distance of 50km from the shore.

It had been pretty funny, when the government official with the exceptionally sweaty brow had come ‘round to the Nanase family home when Haru had just started high school, and they had gone on a long drive away from the sea so that the man could judge what Haru’s range of effect was. The poor man had looked increasingly stressed when they passed the 20km mark, and feeling that sort of spiky spite teenage boys are wont to feel Haru had kept calling and calling for the ocean (that kept answering and answering).

He had finally stopped at that 50km mark when he’d realised that if they kept driving for very much longer, he wouldn’t be back in time to eat with the Tachibanas, and that was a heck of a lot more important than having a stranger try to verify the extent of his power. Haru could probably call the sea from anywhere in Japan, he suspects, but also doesn’t particularly want to find out.

(The night the storm almost took Makoto and Haru took him back had been more than enough of an experience in raw, screaming power, thank you very much. He might have a lot of power, or he might have unlimited power, and in case it’s the former and not the latter, Haru is happy to curb his magic so that it can explode the next time Makoto tries for hopeless heroism, yes).

Makoto thinks he’s an amazing elemental magician; Makoto thinks he’s amazing in general, which is the really amazing thing, but Haru had decided age 4 that he shouldn’t question his good luck, and 25 years on he’s still keeping up the con of having Makoto be enamoured with him.

Today, the glamour is maybe wearing thin, because Makoto’s looking at him with furrowed brows and his arms are tightly wrapped around himself.

“It’s all right, Makoto,” Haru says for what must be the sixth time in the last four-and-a-half minutes. “It really is.”

Unconvinced, Makoto winces and looks away. “It’s not, and it’s all my fault!”

It technically is, but literally isn’t. Haru takes a step closer, determined to enforce a hug, but remembers at the last moment that he’s still soaking wet, right out the pool, and Makoto is still crisp and dry in his pretty Team Japan coach’s outfit. It’s the work of a thought to whisk the water off and back in the pool, and it’s just a moment more before he’s got his hand on the back of his partner’s neck, pulling Makoto down so that their foreheads are pressed together. “Makoto,” Haru repeats himself, infinitely calm. “It’s fine. It’s only the 200m.”

“Of the Olympics!” Makoto cries out, and Haru really should have known to expect this. “I wanted to propose and make it really memorable, but now you’re only going to remember it because I made you get disqualified at the Olympics!” The hand-wringing is in earnest now, and Makoto’s upset enough that the ground by their feet is startling to rumble.

There’s one benefit to losing in the early heats: Haru can excuse himself for the rest of the day, and the coaches of Team Japan have learned to allow him his little foibles because an irritated Haru, even when he tries to be on his best behaviour, has a tendency to make pipes explode. He makes eye contact with Head Coach Sugihara, who just rolls his eyes exasperatedly and waves them off, before Haru drags Makoto with him to find a quiet nook to talk.

It doesn’t take too long before they find a storage room that had been left fortuitously unlocked, and Haru tugs Makoto in behind him. This is neither the time nor the place for this serious of a discussion, but they’ve got a place and Haru will always, always make time for Makoto, so he won’t be dissuaded even if Makoto keeps making sad eyes at him. “Makoto,” Haru says, as calm and clear as he can be. “Makoto, there’s nothing wrong with proposing to your long-term partner, okay? I don’t mind that you blurted it out over breakfast,” Haru emphasises this with a peck to the forehead, “and I also really don’t care that getting engaged got me so overexcited that I melted into the pool during my heat,” another peck to Makoto’s left cheek. “Pretty much every professional athlete who’s an elemental has fouled out of competition before, it’s not a big deal.”

Maybe not at the Olympics, but that’s just semantics. There’s an even more important point to make here, and Haru can’t even pretend that he’s not smiling. “It’s very cute that you burst into a proposal on your birthday. I’m the one that’s supposed to be getting you a present.”

His plan had been to sweep up gold today for the 200m freestyle and then have it made into an engagement ring, inspired as soon as he saw Makoto knock over his plate of waffles as he dropped down on one knee, fumbling with a velvet box and looking ready to cry. It’s not going to happen now, but Haru isn’t exactly dealing with a shortage of Olympic gold. And since he’s yet to miss celebrating the absolute hell out of Makoto’s birthday as a show of unwavering appreciation for the best thing that’s ever happened in his life, there’s already a reservation in place for the best Thai restaurant in town, plus some holiday brochures Makoto can pick from for their year-end vacation.

Makoto still looks pretty upset, but happily has stopped taking it out on the ground. In the gentle darkness of this storage room, with the sounds of the competition muffled, it’s easier to take a deep breath and reevaluate things. It’s slow, but after a few moments Makoto heaves a massive sigh and steps into Haru’s arms for a hug, resting his forehead against Haru’s bare shoulder. “Sorry,” he murmurs. “I still really am sorry, Haru-chan. I had been planning to propose on New Year’s Eve.” He just smiles when Haru snorts softly and calls him a sap, because you shouldn’t argue with the truth. “I had a whole plan! Ran and Ren helped me practice what I’d say and what I should wear and how to set up a camera to, uhm, livestream? My proposal, but I woke up this morning and I remembered that the best thing about my birthday is that it’s always a good reason to spend time with my loved ones, and I got to thinking about how I really love you, Haru-chan, and it was like I was going to explode-”

Dust trickles down as the ground shifts ever so slightly beneath their feet, and Haru’s quick to put a calming hand on Makoto’s nape, squeezing gently. “Makoto,” is all he says, and that’s enough to settle the other man. “I don’t even really like competitive swimming,” Haru whispers, like it’s a confession even though it’s rather public knowledge at this point. “And not swimming, not the Olympics, and not water is more important than you.”

In Haru’s head, he’s just very simply stating a very basic fact of life. His name is Nanase Haruka, he’s got more Olympic medals than he has fingers on his hands, he still gets the odd letter from the government begging for him to join the Japanese Navy and put his powers to good use, and there never will be anything in the world more valuable than Tachibana Makoto.

He’d thought that it was pretty obvious, but it must not have been obvious enough because alarmingly Makoto starts to sniffle and shudder.

Haru can pull the tide in whenever he wants, and Haru has the Olympic Record for the 100m Free!, but there is nothing in his arsenal of various powers that makes him good at comforting Makoto, which is a horrendous shame. Panicking but refusing to show it, Haru hugs Makoto tighter. For someone who wears his heart on his sleeve and is willing to consistently treat people with kindness irrespective of whether or not they deserve it, Makoto can wall himself off emotionally a lot better than Haru, who doesn’t put any effort into being anything but what he is.

It means that seeing Makoto snap or break down is a worryingly rare occurrence, and unlike Makoto’s fear of haunted houses and the sea Haru isn’t a professional at dealing with it. “Mako-chan, it’s okay,” he says quietly, hoping that he doesn’t sound as worried as he feels. “It’s okay. I love you.”

Makoto pulls away, and aside from glassy eyes and unsteady breath he looks no worse for wear as he leans down to kiss Haru right on the lips. "I love you too," he replies with utmost seriousness, because they had promised each other at the start of their romantic relationship to always reply when someone drops the L-word, with the hope that through all future fights and disagreements this one fact remains unforgotten. "And sorry for freaking out. I haven't seen you go full water boy in years, and honestly Haru-chan seeing you lose control was a little bit scary." He rubs at his red nose and it gets redder, before he groans. “Rin and Nagisa are going to tease me so hard when they figure out what happened.”

Haru can feel the tide shifting towards brighter shores as clearly as he could if he were in the sea itself, and he can’t help the littlest smile. “Makoto, you dropped an unplanned proposal, on your birthday, during the Olympics. Ran and Ren’s classmates are going to tease you. Kuroda-san at the corner store will tease you. Our cats will tease you.” Haru is personally planning to decorate and mount the breakfast plate that evaded smashing when Makoto knocked it to the floor, and that’s part tease and part raw, unbridled affection. “Make your peace with it, Mako-chan.”

The look of horror that crosses Makoto’s face is very silly and also very sweet, but it fades as quickly as it came into a smile that can only really be described as dopey. “It’s embarrassing,” he emphasises, cheeks a glowing red,”but at least you said yes, so it could be worse.”

Haru would happily flood out every single pool for every single Olympics from today till the day he dies if Makoto indicated that that’s what he truly wanted. The odds of him saying no to Makoto is already generally very low, but the odds of him turning down the opportunity to lock it down right and proper, and be married to the best man that he will ever, ever meet?

“Makoto, you’re an idiot,” Haru says with an utterly expressionless face, before dragging his fiance down to make out in a storage closet of the Olympic swimming pools for Tokyo 2020.

A/N: I swear I tried to make them bang in the blessed closet but 4 different characters showed up on 4 separate occasions to razz them. This was a really fun bit to write, and @svanavrika I hope you enjoy this strange situation the boys found themselves in :>

#Free!#free! iwatobi swim club #makoharu #fanfic #i need to go through my tags #because the masterlist has not been updated #in 300 years #how else will the world get to appreciate #my hot messes #tachibanamakotobirthdayexchange #whale writing

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randomidiocyncrazies · 5 years

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Regarding Enta, there's some information in the sarazanmai novel that didn't make it to the anime, and i’m kind of wondering why it was cut because it’s quite informative imo

When he was ten years old, Enta stood out a bit at school.

He had lived overseas for quite a while when he was young because of his parents’ work circumstances. His energetic sister had no issue making friends with anyone, even if she didn’t speak the language. But Enta on the other hand was painfully shy, and upset his parents by crying to go home to Japan. [...] But all that awaited him as a returnee from overseas was a cold welcome. Perhaps Enta was just making assumptions and his classmates were merely curious, but the thought alone was enough to pierce the introverted Enta’s heart. [...] I want to play too!––Unable to actually voice that simple phrase, all Enta could do was hug his knees to his chest and watch. He had always been alone when he was overseas too, so he’d never had anyone to play soccer with in the first place.

But the person who reached out a hand to him was Kazuki. And when he told him that he loved soccer but he’d never played before, Kazuki simply replied with a smile that he was just a beginner himself.

“I just know the two of us will become a Golden Duo!”

Enta, despite being ridiculously impulsive and coming off as outgoing in his interactions, is at heart a timid person who internalized the idea that he'd be rejected for any traits that marked him as an outsider (hello Quintessential Queer Adolescent Experience™). furthermore, he places his self-worth on being Kazuki's soccer buddy, which has the effect of him 1) putting Kazuki on a pedestal as "the one who saved him" and 2) obsessing over the relationship because, to him, it's the only thing that validates his worth as a person. Notice that, in all his fantasies of reforming the Golden Duo, he’s always the one who assists Kazuki to score, but never scores himself. He doesn’t believe he can. After all, until he met Kazuki, nobody wanted to be his friend because he's too different (or so he believes).

(also, regarding his role as Kazuki’s ace assist in his fantasies, i wonder if it’s a commentary on the “helpful queer” archetype? that you’re a “good queer” if you help the protag achieve happiness even at the cost of your own (*cough*tomoyoCCS*cough*), and a “bad queer” if you act on selfish desires or otherwise get in the way?

i mean judging from western fandom reactions of enta it sure seems there’s something to it)

Seeing his sister being able to pursue the object of her affections so earnestly, without drawing any unwanted attention was just too much for him. Sure, she had failed plenty of times, but even the wounds of failed loves just became fuel in her pursuit of her next one.

I could never do that.

hey look, more Quintessential Queer Adolescent Experience™! the feeling of irreconcilable differences between you and the other people around you, that it’s impossible for you to experience the world as they do because you’re Just Too Different...

He felt like he’d start crying if he kept going. That’s why Enta decided to get Kazuki to kill the feelings for him. He held out the silver plate with the good luck band he’d retrieved from Otone on top of it. “I”m in love with you, Kazuki! Please become the Golden Duo with me for the rest of our lives!” Even with his head bowed, he could hear Kazuki gulp. Ahh, this is it. Just reject me and make it a clean cut, please…!

Even in his fantasies, Enta operates on the assumption that he is doomed to fail. While ultimately he’s accepted in the fantasy, it’s telling that it starts with his expectation of rejection from Kazuki. It's unfortunate that just as he’s resolved to move on from his unhealthy crush on Kazuki (it’s actively causing him frustration, not to mention reinforcing his self-esteem issues and impeding his growth—as long as he believes his worth comes from his connection with Kazuki, he’s trapped in a self-perpetuating cycle of isolation), Haruka unwittingly reignites his hope and spurs him on. That's the thing about wants: even if you know it's hopeless, even if you know it's better for you if you move on, it's hard to resist.

Unable to express his desires that would mark him as an outsider again, but also unable to entirely give them up, Enta puts on a sweet supportive public face (the “helpful good queer”) and hides his resentment until the breaking point. yes, Enta is selfish and Enta is a coward, but a lot of things seem like the end of the world when you’re a queer closeted teenager. nobody is denying he did many things wrong, but it’s cold to see people saying he deserved to get fatally shot when he’s already getting character development and trying to repent for his shitty behavior to Toi in the same episode. also really tired of characters with marginalized identities being held to ideologically pure standards (that, or be sexy and thus consumable).

are his actions selfish? YES. the show clearly shows him in the wrong, and that he should atone for his actions. is he, as some vocal detractors claim, worse than the adult who kidnapped a child and shot a teen with the intent to kill? worse than the teen who helped his brother torture a guy in order to feel close to him? worse than the teen who stole a beloved housecat from its home so that it could be a neighborhood stray for his little brother to dote on, while being emotionally distant to said little brother the whole time? lmao what

I really hope Enta isn’t permadead especially with 3 more episodes in the series, and that he has the chance to learn how to cope with these emotions in a healthy way, but it’s Ikuhara so who knows lmao

#sarazanmai #jinnai enta #i mean. i guess it's just a reinforcement of what we do see in the anime?#also: not saying that every single person who hates enta is homophobic #(bc i don't think that's true)#but the sheer volume of hate he gets IS at least partially motivated by him not being a 'palatable good queer' imo #an explicitly queer character who a) isn't sexy/sexualized AND b) has negative emotions & acted on them #and i guess c) in the way of a more popular ship #it's food for thought that he's BY FAR the most divisive character even though every character had moments of selfishness and did bad stuff

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chasingbutterflies13-blog · 7 years

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Love In Dakrness: Chapter 1

"I can be your hero. I can be your man." I wake up, turning over to grab my phone from the nightstand and turning off my alarm. "Took you long enough." Nina groans, as she sits up in her bed. I toss a pillow at her, and she throws it back. "Do I have to go to school today?" "Yes. Look today is Friday, it's a weekend after today. YOu also only have two more weeks after that and you graduate. Then two more after that and we'll be gone from here." I say. She huffs and lays back down throwing the covers over her face. I get up and walk over to her bed, pulling the covers off her face. "Come on. You graduate this year, we leave this year. All of us. We will never have to step foot in this house again." "You're right." She sits up, and I pull her into a hug. "We're meeting up with the others after school right?" "Yes, but we have to hurry right now. Especially if you want breakfast before you go to school." I let go, and head downstairs quietly. I grab two bowls from the cabinet and a box of cereal, setting them on the table. "Amethyst, I can't find a clean shirt." Nina says loudly, as she comes running down the stairs. "Nina. Quiet down." I say sternly. "Check the dryer. I did some wash yesterday. Do it quietly though." She rushes over to the dryer searching through the clothes, before settling on a Monsta X shirt. "How does making a stop by work sound for breakfast?" "Is there something wrong?" She asks. I close the fridge door and turn around to face her, "Just go finish getting ready." I put the bowls and cereal back in the cabinet, and lean against the sink for a moment. I didn't have the heart to tell Nina that our mom had forgotten to go grocery shopping, again. I sigh and push myself away from the sink, I needed o hurry and get ready. I sift through the pile of clothes in the dryer, looking for my work uniform. While Nina was at school, I worked a couple shifts through out the week at a small cafe down the street. I head upstairs to change and brush my hair and teeth. "Nina, are you ready? We have to go." "I'll be out in the car." Nina says, running past me as I walk into the room. I sigh, throwing our dirty clothes into the hamper and straightening up our beds. I grab my phone and purse before heading out to the car. "What are we listening to this morning?" I ask, as I hand her my phone. Nina doesn't say a word as one of our favorite kpop group fills the car. We make a stop at my work for a quick breakfast. "Have a good day." I say, as I pull up in front of her school. "You too." She leans over to give me a quick hug, before she gets out of the car. "Amethyst, can you help me in the back today?" Anita, my boss asks me as soon as I walk in for my shift. "Yea. No problem." I reply, as I follow her into the back. I had forgotten that Friday mornings we went through stock, so we could put in our order for the week. We start with the walk in fridge and freezer, moving stuff, checking dates and crossing things off the list. "Are you guys really leaving?" Anita asks, as we finish with the freezer. I nod, not much else for me to say on the matter. "That's a whole another country though? Different culture and different language." "That's the point Anita." I say, "They won't follow us to another country. None of them will. We've been learning the language and all of us are pretty fluent in it at this point. We've been saving and preparing for over a year. Nothing is changing our minds." Anita says nothing more as we finish the inventory and order list. The rest of my shift goes by fairly quick, and sooner than I expected I am picking Nina up from school. "How was your day?" I ask, as she climbs into the car. She says nothing, as she chooses a song on my phone and Monsta X begins to play from the speakers. I sigh as I pull away and head towards Saphir and Nico's place. Our other two siblings had moved out with some friends, once they both had turned 18. Our older brother Nico had technically been kicked out three years ago by our stepfather, Ronald. The memory just as vivid as if it had happened last night. Ronald had found out that Nico had joined a local gang, and when we all got home that night, the first thing he did was start yelling and screaming at all of us at first. Nico instantly started yelling back, and before any of us girls could react Ronald had grabbed Nico and pinned him against the wall. I made Saphir and Nina go upstairs immediately, as I didn't want them getting caught in the crossfire. Nico punched Ronald, making Ronald reel back and let go of Nico for just a moment. "Please stop." I cried, stepping in front of Nico, and facing Ronald. "Please." Ronald pushed me to the side, knocking me to the floor. Nico tried to punch Ronald again, but Ronald grabbed him and threw him against before saying "Get out of this house and don't ever come back." As Nico left, Ronald turned on me still on the floor crying my eyes out. "And you, if you ever try to stop again you'll be out next." I only nodded before going upstairs to the room I shared with my sisters. "Amethyst are you okay?" Saphir's voice cuts through my memories, pulling me back into reality. The others were all staring at me, like I had grown a third eye or something. "Yea. I'm fine." I reply, "Just thinking is all. How has work been for you?" "It's been fine. I've been saving too." She says, "The others have too. Haruka and Brittany work as much as possible, but you know how that goes." I nod, knowing exactly what she meant. Haruka and Brittany were friends, but they also were in the same gang as Nico. Haruka had a boyfriend named Jayk who was also in the gang. Jayk also happened to be the older brother of our other two friends Jasmyn and Lynn. Nico and Lynn were also dating each other. "When are the others going to get here?" Nina asks. We had already been at the house for an hour with no sign of Nico or our friends. I knew Nina was just getting bored, and that she wanted to see Nico. It had become a tradition for us, after Nico got kicked out to stay over during the weekends. It got us away from Ronald and our mother, and both of them were happy to have us gone for a few days. Nico and the others walk into the house before either Saphir or I could reply. Nico and Jayk carrying in pizzas and 2 liters. I stood, to help clear off the table and counters so we could all sit down and eat. "Nico!" Nina says excitedly, throwing her arms around him as he sets down the pizzas. I grab plates and cups from the counter, setting them down on the table and taking a seat. "Hey there demon child." He laughs as he hugs her back. She smiles at the nickname, pulling him into the seat next her. "How has school been?" "It's been fine." She replies, as she grabs a piece of pizza. "A bit boring, but fine. Two more weeks left." "Four weeks until we are out of here for good." Haruka says as she sits down next to me. "It's exciting to know we'll get a fresh start." "It'll be good to not have to worry about you all too." Lynn says, "Everyone has been studying and reading up right? It's a different culture and a different country." "You should hear Brittany. She can speak the language pretty well." Jasmyn replies. "I'm just happy, that you all will be happy." Jayk says kissing Haruka as he sits down between her and Jasmyn. "Does your mom and Ronald know what you guys are doing yet?" "No." I shake my head, "They can't do anything about it anyways. Nina will be 18 when we leave, they can't stop her or us. It's not like they'll want to anyways." "I would like to see them try to stop our demon child." Brittany says, with a laugh. We all start laughing and cracking jokes. Tonight was made to forget our worries and just have some fun, made for spending time together. Once we finished eating Nico and I washed the dishes, while the others try to decide on a movie for us to watch. "Is everything alright at home?" Nico asks, as he dried the dishes. "Ronald hasn't hit you or anything has he? How's Mom?" "Everything is fine at home Nico." I reply, "We see Ronald for maybe an hour or two at most each day. He doesn't really get the chance to say or do anything. We make sure not to give him a reason to. Mom is mom. Nothing has changed there." "I'm sorry. You two are stuck there for another four weeks. I shouldn't have left that night." "You didn't have a choice Nico. Someone would have gotten hurt if you didn't. Plus it allowed Saphir to get out of that house last year. There are many things that have happened over the last four years. All of us have struggled with it, but we got some amazing friends out of it. Friends, who have become our family." "I just worry about you guys." He says, pulling me into a hug. "Especially you. You have given up a lot to make sure Nina and Saphir were not left alone in that house. You are also the reason we will be able to leave this all behind. I just want to see all of you happy. You deserve that." "We all are the reason we can leave this place. We all have been working and saving towards it." I say, hugging him back. "Come on the dishes are finished, and if they should have a movie picked by now." "About time you two finished the dishes." Nina says. "We were all starting to waste away with boredom." Nico and I laugh, as I sit down between her and Saphir. Nico pulls Lynn into his lap, after she turns off the lights and starts the movie. Haruka and Jayk cuddled together in the other chair, while Jasmyn and Brittany sat on the other side of Saphir. I smiled, all of us had our issues, our own darkness we had to deal with. We had each other in that darkness though and we had formed a family of our own. Nothing could or would change that, at least that is what I had thought. ********************************************* Sorry it took so long for chapter 1. I was having some trouble getting back into the groove of writing.

#monsta x #monsta_x #fanfic #hyungwon #minhyuk #jooheon #I.M.#shownu #wonho #kihyun #kpop #kpop icons

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