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#amd someone asked me if I'm religious
morgrug 2 years
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So I've been thinking about religions and I came to the conclusion that I want my god to be Prometheus. Not that I believe the Greek mythology to be true (or untrue, how would I know), but if there was a god, my creator, I would want them to be like Prometheus.
Otherwise it would make me just sad, you know. All those religions that tell you that the god is almighty. It sucks. If an almighty entity created this shitty world to trap us in, we're fucked. What can we do about it? Nothing.
But if our creator is just a dude trying (and often failing) to do something nice for us, it gives a little more hope. I can at least hope that the god is good if I reject that they're almighty. Maybe my Prometheus will succeed at making me happy one day. But even if they don't, at least they'll keep trying. And believing in it seems nice.
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anime-addict-362 1 year
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Lord and Savior 馃
CW: NSFW, Bottom Iida x Top Y/N, pro hero Iida, Y/N just shows up, drinking (barely), toxic religious bullshit, homophobia, ass eating, praise, handjobs, blowjobs, cum eating (Idk), fingering, anal penetration, lots of desperation coming off of Y/N, Iida is in denial, aftercare (kinda), I suck at ending these
脳 脳 脳 脳 脳 脳
Iida groaned, Y/N grinding against him. How did this happen? This wasn't- No this wasn't okay.
He knew he shouldn't have gone drinking, it was sinful and filthy. And god, the things the people were doing there was insane. So why didn't he stop? Why didn't he leave?
He just got a job with a good hero agency, why was he risking it just to go to this party?
He had a beer, he couldn't drive. Of course, that's why. And- okay, Y/N offered to take him home. At that point he had to take the offer.
Y/N saw Iida looking lost and sick in the corner, so he offered to help. He promised he didn't have any other ideas. He would never do that to someone.
But he offered to help Iida to the bedroom, and Iida took him up on the offer. And it's not like Iida was drunk, he seemed fine, just nervous.
And it went well! Iida kissed him back, was obviously turned on, and groaned all pretty like when he started grinding, and put him against the wall.
Iida was snapped back to reality when Y/N pulled away to take his shirt off. No. Wrong, this was not okay. He couldn't- Not with a man.
God, he would have to confess this a million times over.
"Wait," Iida stopped Y/N, trying to back away but forgot he was against a wall, and kinda just banged his head.
Y/N stopped immediately, eyeing him. "What?"
"I- I can't," Iida shook his head. They were too close. "Move- Please move."
Y/N listened, taking a few steps back. "Alright. Did I do something or..."
"You're a man."
Y/N was shocked by Iida practically looking disgusted. Didn't they just... Did he imagine that or something? Weren't they just making out?
"Yes I am," Y/N confirmed.
Iida gulped at how unfazed Y/N seemed. And why was he still shirtless? "I... I can't," He shook his head.
"We don't have to, man," Y/N tried to assure him, with a chuckle. "I'll leave and you never have to see me again. No problem," Unfortunately. Iida was really hot.
But it didn't matter, because it seemed like Iida wasn't listening.
"I just kissed a man," Iida mumbled, eyes moving down. "I almost... Oh my- I can't."
Y/N stared at Iida, seeing how he seemed to be panicking. "...Iida, it was just making out. Do you need anything? It's okay."
"No," Iida shook his head, walking past Y/N amd going to sit on his bed. "I'm- I'm sorry. But I'm straight."
Liar.
Y/N almost said it but realized that this was definitely not the time.
"I need to wait until to marriage," Iida added on, and Y/N was finally understanding. "And- not a man."
Y/N looked over Iida carefully. This was some religious shit? He wasn't sleeping with a hot man because his parents are religious assholes?
Well, he shouldn't assume, he guessed.
"Why not," Y/N asked, not really knowing what else to say or do.
"Because it's sinful," Iida huffed. "It's- It's gross. We're both men."
Y/N blinked. He should be offended, he really should. But this was just sad. That means he shouldn't laugh. He really shouldn't.
But he did. He chuckled, then quickly put a hand over his mouth, but it was too late.
"What," Iida asked, glaring at Y/N when he started laughing at him. Was this funny to him? He just wrote his way off to hell and he's laug-
"Jesus christ, Iida," Y/N laughed, dropping his shirt as he practically doubled over. "You're an ass, I thought I did something wrong!"
"You did," Iida huffed again. "Men kissing men is-"
"Yeah yeah," Y/N waved him off, taking a聽 deep breath. "Can I sit by you? No touching, I promise."
Iida hesitated, but Y/N did listen to him earlier when he told him to stop, and move. So he nodded, moving over to make more room. Fortunately, Y/N sat on the way other side and not RIGHT next to him.
"So what is it," Y/N asked. "Kissing me will doom you to an eternity in hell? Everytime you get a boner over some abs, you go and run to confess or whatever?"
Iida gaped at Y/N. How dare he accuse him of such acts? "I- I don't get... Hard over abs, or men in general. Or women. And yes, I do confess when I do something wrong. This was wrong, I will confess."
"Eh," Y/N shrugged. He didn't bother ever learning the details of any religion, and he bately knew the specific one they were talking about at the moment. "You got pretty damn hard while kissing me."
Iida felt his face burn. "I did not!"
"You so did," Y/N smirked. "Don't worry, I won't snitch to whoever your God is. But I'm pretty sure in almost any religion, confessions don't matter unless you mean it."
"I don't see your point," Iida shook his head. "It will be genuine."
"No it won't," Y/N spoke, matter-of-factly. "You slipped up now. You'll slip up again. What, you gonna fake date a girl the rest of your life and break her heart once the truth comes out? Would your God accept that?"
Iida stuttered. "Wh- No! I am straight! There is no truth to- to come out!"
"Why would you follow a God that won't accept everyone," Y/N's sudden genuine question through Iida off. "I can only imagine you look up to this God but yet you're sitting there, still hard over us making out, and now you're insulting me because of who I am as a man."
Iida didn't know what to say to that, so he stayed silent.
"Whatever," Y/N sighed, running a hand over his face. "You gotta go confess of whatever. Fun while it lasted."
Iida watched Y/N stand and finally put his shirt on. He didn't like how he felt. He knew it was rude to say the things he did, but... But it was true, wasn't it? God wouldn't want him to sleep around.
"How do you do it," The question stopped Y/N from leaving.
"Do what?"
"This," Iida gestured to both of them. "How do you just sleep around with no guilt?"
"Wow, okay," Y/N scoffed but had a playful smile in his face. "I don't sleep around. I wanted to sleep with you."
Great, he's being rude again.
"I just," Iida cleared his throat but Y/N stopped him.
"Iida," Y/N turned to him. "I did this by being myself. I didn't choose to be attracted to dick. This is who I am, I like men. You can deny and deny all you want but you do too. Confessing won't change anything."
"Then help me," Iida practically whispered. Y/N knew how he was feeling. Y/N was nice, would stop if he wanted, and wasn't phased when he made a stupid comment. He needed this, maybe to give him closure. He wouldn't even like it, of course. He knew he was straight.
"Help how," Y/N had a good idea, but it would be embarrassing if he was wrong.
"Just uhm," Iida gulped. "Have uh-... Sex with me."
Damn, he really just out right said that? Does Y/N have magical words or something? He barely said much!
"You sure," He asked, walking up to Iida. Iida looked to the floor and nodded. "No, c'mon."
Iida almost jumped at the hand that moved him to look up. And- wow, okay.聽 This was happening. It was wrong but- No. It's okay. Just one time, and he'll be done.
"I need to hear you're okay with this," Y/N looked Iida in the eye. "And that you won't go snitching on me to God and shit."
Iida eyes widened slightly at Y/N's question, then he held the smile back when Y/N laughed at his own stupid joke.
"I'm okay with it," Iida nodded, face still in Y/N's hand.
"Tell me you want this," Y/N needed this confirmation.
"I want this," No, he needed this.
"Good boy," Y/N whispered, smiling.
Oh. Good boy? No, that wasn't fair- He can't just call him random names like that.
Then Y/N was on his knees in front of him, and he swore, his face would light of fire the second Y/N started kissing his thighs.
"Oh god," He whispered, mind running.
Y/N shook his head, sitting up to kiss Iida's neck. "There's no God here right now. Just you and me."
No, he was wrong. God was everywhere. How was he supposed to just forget that? Would he even be able to have sex without feeling like there are shameful eyes upon him?
He gasped suddenly when teeth dug into his collar bone, gently. "Focus on me, Tenya. I'm gonna do such a good job, making you feel good."
Iida doubted that. Not that he was doubting Y/N, but he wasn't even enjoying this-
Y/N grinned at Iida's moan when he kissed over his hard cock. "Damn. Sensitive, huh? You ever even jack off?"
"Of course not," He breathed out, shaking his head. And... It wasn't completely true but he did it very rarely.
"Not surprising," Y/N snickered, undoing Iida's belt. "If I do something you don't like, let me know."
God, Iida's parents would kill him if they saw him like this. With Y/N practically worshipping his now freed... Penis.
Y/N could only grin at the size of Iida's cock. Fucking huge. It sucked that Iida was so hellbent on being "straight."
"Goddamn, Tenya," Y/N took the length into his hand. "You're huge."
Iida jumped at the touch, then put a hand over his mouth. No. He wouldn't enjoy this.
Y/N thought over what he was going to do. Maybe suck him off? Not let him come though. Would that upset him? Maybe he should just start prepping him. Wait, should Iida really be bottoming for the first time around?
"What do you want," He decided to ask, looking up to him.
Iida gave him a confused look, taking the hand off his mouth to talk. "I want to have se-"
"No, I know that," Y/N shook his head and sat up. Then he kissed Iida, a hand going up to slide behind his head.
Iida sighed into the kiss. The touch was almost reassuring, which was what he wanted to say, but that couldn't make sense. He didn't didn't dwell on it too long, with Y/N talking to him again.
"I'm asking what you want," Y/N asked, kissing Iida's neck. "Tell me, baby, tell me what you want."
What did Iida want? He wasn't sure.
"I don't-"
"You know," Y/N nodded, not excepting such an answer. "You want this, and you want something from me. Tell me. What do you want?"
"Fuck me please," Iida whispered, pathetically.
Y/N was honestly shocked by hear the man swear in his ear, and on top of that, ask him to fuck him. But he could only grin.
"Good boy," He mumbled, before pulling his shirt off again. He hoped it would stay off this time.
Y/N stood and laid Iida down, before removing Iida's pants and briefs completely. "Lay on the pillows, and get on your stomach."
Iida couldn't do much but listen, soon having his face buried in pillows as he felt Y/N move behind him. Embarrassing. This just got so embarrassing.
He huffed at the kisses that ran down his spine. He tried not to think about how Y/N had every reason to be mean to him after how he talked to him earlier.
"I can only assume you don't have lube," Y/N spoke up and Iida felt his face burn.
"Of course not," He gulped.
"That's what I thought," Y/N sighed.
Iida jumped when hands grabbed his ass. "Wha- what're you doing?"
"Prepping you," Y/N snorted. "I can't just fuck you, especially with no lube. I'd rip you open. This might be embarrassing for you but I'm sure you don't want to explain to the doctors and your parents why you're in the hospital."
That was a good point.
Iida cleared his throat. "Just... Be gentle, please."
Y/N leaned down to kiss Iida's shoulder. "Of course. As gentle as you need."
Good. Y/N wasn't going to be mean to him. That was a good sign.
Y/N sat up again. "If you need me to stop, just tell me okay?"
Iida nodded, almost afraid to talk.
Again, hands grabbed his ass. He buried his face in a pillow when he felt a kiss right above his ass. This was happening.
He swallowed down a noise when Y/N's tongue pushed past his hole, but couldn't stop the slight movement of his hips. It was weird feeling. It had to be a sign that it was wrong.
Iida bit down on his lip when Y/N's tongue pushed inside of him. It didn't hurt but again, it was just weird.
Part of him wanted to look. To see Y/N eating him out. To see the way Y/N's hands ran up his back and then down back to his ass.
Then he felt something tougher enter him. Definitely a finger. He still fought to stay quiet but his legs moved, almost in a way that he flinched.
"It'll just be uncomfortable," Y/N spoke up, pulling away. "Promise."
He was right, it was uncomfortable. But he's been through much worse with hero work, he could endure this.
"Lift your hips up," Y/N instructed. "On your knees."
Iida listened, lifting up on his knees. He felt even more exposed like this. Then Y/N started stroking his cock, gently and in time with the way the finger inside of him moved.
He fought hard to stay quiet, breathing picking up. He let out a small moan when another finger was slid into him, gently. Y/N's tongue joined in once again.
"Y/N," He mumbled. Y/N hummed and he gasped.
Y/N pulled away to smirk at Iida's gasp. "It's okay if it feels good, Iida."
"It doesn't," Iida shook his head, then choked as Y/N's hit something.
"I think that's a lie," Y/N accused, going to repeatedly hit Iida's prostate. "Regardless, I already know you're gonna feel so good around me. I'll be surprised if I last 3 minutes."
Iida gripped the pillow, no longer able to hold in his groans. "St- stop talking."
Y/N snorted. "What? Can't handle a few words?"
Iida moaned out as a third finger slid inside of him, pulling away for a moment. "Too much- Y/N."
Y/N took his hand off Iida's cock, moving to kiss up his back. "You're doing so good for me, Iida. You got this baby. You can take it."
Iida nodded after a moment, and Y/N slid the three fingers back in. This time, Y/N lifted his head to kiss him. He accepted it gratefully, focusing on that rather than the sting from the stretch.
As embarrassing as it was, he was thankful for Y/N repeatedly... Spitting, to keep it from being dry.
"Y/N," He groaned as Y/N's mouth attacked his neck.
"Doing so good," Y/N smiled. "You look so good like this, Iida. So beautiful under me, making a mess."
Iida huffed when those fingers were pulled free. He felt so empty and he hated it. He was supposed to hate this.
He felt Y/N get off the bed and looked over to him. He gulped as he saw Y/N strip off his pants. His eyes shot to the ever-telling tent in the other man's briefs.
Then they were off, and Y/N was naked. Iida looked away, digging his face into the pillow. What did he get himself into?
He sighed as he felt Y/N sit back behind him, hands running up his back.
"You can still back out," Y/N offered.
Iida shook his head. "I'm fine."
"Alright," Y/N adjusted until he was lined up. He pushed in slowly, and eyed Iida the whole time, watching for a reaction.
Iida flinched bit, jaw dropping at the stretch. He moaned when Y/N started jacking him off, slow and gentle. He only felt relief when they're hips met, not sure if he could take any deeper.
"Y/N," He huffed, mumbled in the pillow, not sure of what else to say.
"Good job," Y/N chuckled, pulling Iida's face out of the pillow. "You're doing so good, Iida."
Iida wanted ot call him a liar. All he was doing was laying there, but a gasp took over his voice instead, when Y/N moved. He moaned, holding the pillow tighter when the dick pulled out, just to slam back in.
Okay, slam was an overreaction, but still, it was pretty quick.
"God, you sound so pretty," Y/N kissed Iida's neck, making sure he couldn't hide his face again. "Tell me how it feels, Iida. Nice and clear for me, you can do it."
Iida gulped. "It's a- oh god," Y/N slammed in again, starting a slower pace.
"Keep going, baby," Y/N grinned even wider.
"It's full," Iida eventually mumbled out, voice sounding rough.
"Full," Y/N repeated, chuckling. "C'mon, what else?"
Iida knew what Y/N wanted. He knew what he wanted him to say.
"It's good," He moaned out, head dropping down. He had given up. It felt good, he couldn't deny it. "I feel so good- Please don't stop."
"I won't," Y/N promised, speeding up now that he got the confirmation he wanted. "Good job, Iida. So good. You feel so amazing around me."
Iida moaned, feeling the dick in him move quicker, the sound of their hips smacking together taking over his brain. He already knew his legs were shaking, especially when a hand went back to his dick, once again.
Y/N jacked him off, listening to the open mouth moans that fell out. Iida wasn't moving at all, doing nothing to help, and something about it was so hot to Y/N.
"I can't tell of you're scared to move or if you're just a fucking pillow princess," Y/N laughed.
"Not scared," Iida groaned, eyes almost rolling back. "Oh my- Please don't stop."
Y/N grinned at the almost whiney beg. "How cute..."
Iida huffed as Y/N sat up, and grabbed his hip. Then it was a moan that escaped him as Y/N pulled him back on on his cock, roughly and repeatedly. He felt his legs almost give out, but Y/N kept that hold on his hip.
"Fuck," Iida moaned out.
Y/N groaned as Iida swore out, his voice breaking.
"Y/N," Iida breathed even heavier. "I'm- I'm gonna-"
"Yes," Y/N moved both hands to Iida's hips, driving him back quicker. "Come, come on my fucking cock Iida."
Iida moaned, letting his body collapse, all on the bed except for his hips, which Y/N still held up. He came just seconds later, eyes screwing shut.
"Y/N- Oh my- Y/N, it's-" He moaned, that dick still drilling in him.
Y/N pulled out, using his hand to jack himself off. He should start keeping condoms on him.
He groaned as he came, careful to keep it on him, and not Iida. He could gentlemen when he wanted to be.
Iida breathed heavily into the pillow he collapsed into, moving his arms to hold it. And it just hit him... What do people do after sex? What do you say? Thank you?
That didn't sound right.
Y/N eyed Iida, his back, his hips, his ass. Goddamn, those fucking arms. Those thighs. He looked godlike.
He leaned down to help Iida to his back. The second he was laid comfort on his back, Y/N kissed him.
Iida groaned at the sudden kiss. It wasn't gentle at all, Y/N's hand going to his neck and he took control once again. He would call it needy if he didn't know better.
"You're so hot," Y/N laughed, other hand going straight to Iida's dick.
"Y/N," Iida gasped as he felt a hand go back to his dick, jacking him off. "It's too much- Oh god."
"You sound so goddamn beautiful, baby," Y/N bit his neck, not hard enough to leave a mark but hard enough to make the other moan.
"Fuck," Iida's voice shook, hips moving. He didn't know whether it was towards the almost painful pleasure or away from it,
"Y/N," He moaned again, reaching down to hold his wrist still. He was almost horried to learn that he was the one doing most of the work, grinding up into the hand. But he couldn't stop, not with Y/N kissing him like he was.
And man, he wouldn't stop kissing him. He moaned all messily, spit probably runnibg down his chin because Y/N would not back off. He didn't mind it too much, it felt amazing to have someone want you that bad.
But then Y/N pulled away completely, and moved down in between his legs. He couldn't, he could not leave this room without feeling the weight of that big cock on his tongue.
Iida practically cried out as Y/N wrapped his mouth around the head of his cock. "What're you- Oh God," He gasped as Y/N leaned down, taking more into his mouth, and he physically felt the head of his cock hit the back of his throat.
He watched as Y/N pulled back, just to go back down. He bobbed his head roughly, hand jacking off what he couldn't fit in his mouth.
He gave up on talking, just moaning as Y/N worked him closer amd closer to another orgasm, one he wasn't sure he could handle. He gripped Y/N's hair, tightly.
"I ca- can't," He managed to cry out. "It's too much- Oh god- Please I'm gonna- ahh!"
Y/N tasted the come that hit the back of his throat, and almost gagged as it definitely hit the way back of his throat, but managed to pull away and swallow.
"Jesus christ," Y/N grinned, sitting up and straddling Iida, who looked completely fucked out. "Well look at you."
"Please don't look at me," Iida huffed and Y/N laughed, kissing his cheek.
"I'll be right back," Y/N hummed, getting off the bed.
Iida watched as he went into his bathroom, still naked. He left his head fall back and his eyes close. He decided to not think about what he just did, just wait for Y/N to come back.
And he did just moments later, holding a rag. "How rich are you? Your shower is the size of my whole bathroom."
Iida ignored the comment, just following Y/N's movements as he wiped... His penis, off. God, this was so embarrassing.
"You okay," Y/N asked, seeing how Iida covered his face.
"'M fine," Iida mumbled, and Y/N chuckled.
"You sure?"
Iida uncovered his face as he nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay."
"Good," Y/N smiled, dropping the rag once he was done with it.
"What now," Iida asked, eyeing him.
"Now is when you either beg me to stay, or you tell me to fuck off," Y/N grinned.
Iida huffed. "You can stay."
"I'll take what I can get," Y/N reached down to grab his briefs, and gave Iida his.
Just moments later, they laid next to each other in the bed, and a thousand things were running through Iida's head. He turned his head to eye Y/N, who had his eyes closed. Was he already asleep?
"I feel you staring at me," Y/N smiled softly, turning to look back at him. "What's up?"
Iida shrugged. He didn't know. But... He did want something. He sat up and kissed Y/N, who hummed, pulling him close.
Iida's mind calmed down as Y/N kissed him back, gently. He would think about it later. He didn't need to right now, not with Y/N holding him.
"You okay," Y/N asked, eyeing him.
"I'm okay," He nodded.
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m00nlxv3r 9 months
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i've been ill for a couple of days and it doesn't seem to get better at least for now, and i've just been particulary thinkin abt this quote: suffering makes you closer to god.
I, as someone who has suffered a lot during my lifetime, specifficaly this year (rather it being mental or physical pain), and as someone who has a complicated relationship with god, religion and christianity, i can't really describe my pain as poetic, beautiful and religious-coded, it's just pain, and i suffer it as pain and i deal with it as pain.
I can (somehow) understeand the meaning of it because all our lifes we have been shown the figures of Saints and how good they were and how amazingly devoted they were and how much they suffered and how they're deaths are such painfuly that they finally go to god's kingdom where they can finally rest for the rest of the eternity, and so then they rae remebered, devoted and all that stuff cause they're such as good as they're god. And not going that far, Jesus just fucking died suffering the most painful torture of all (just for our sins so we don't have to), and his apostles had the same destiny, as well as the first christians, and even his own mother, the Virgin Mary has her own advocation dedicated only to her own pain and suffering.
So the whole christian comunity has always been really into the suffering, and even me whenever i'm in pain i remenber the quote "suffering makes you closer to god" and feeling like if i was alone at a silent church, in the middle, screaming amd asking for help looking at the ceiling but no one hears me. But not in a romanticizing, "suffering feels religious if you know how to do it right" way, more in a jealous way, asking for help to god,begging him to end my pain in any way, for him to just ignore me. And it then makes me wanna start crying cause what hace i done wrong? there is worse people than me, why doesn't he help me? And so then i get mad cause he isn't helping me but then i remenber that it's maybe because of getting mad at him. But then i see all those young christian people my age Who are helped by him, etc etc, and i get jealous and don't even know why he jeeps ignoring me cause i'm sometimes even better than them. So i enter in a "lord i believe, help my unbelieve" cycle with a no return.
After all, this year i've experienced such pain (mostly physical which ended in mental pain, due to all this stuff) and such suffering that when i can't keep going i ask for some divinical force for help but the sky is empty for me, who i may or not may be a sinner but doesn't even matter cause i'm just a teenage girl asking begging for help, and i'm sure your god would have helped you, but mine doesn't (and i again think it's because of my unbelieve and asking for favours only when i'm in need)
So yes, i feel Closer to god whenever i'm suffering, but that only makes things wore cause i don't see myself capable of trusting him
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