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#and as we all know this can only end with me obsessing over billy loomis because 90s skeet ulrich is hot
ofsluts · 1 year
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Anyways the hiatus is over and I am back
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chaos-grimlin · 8 months
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Intro: No one truly knows what happened that night in Woodsboro, California. All the public knows was that two teenage boys, Billy Loomis and Stu Macher, went crazy. That the boys killed with no motive, that it was a case of crazy and peer pressure. Sidney Prescott, the "girlfriend" of Billy Loomis,Y/n L/n, the girl both boys were deeply obsessed with, and Gale weathers, a news reporter, where 3 of 5 witnesses that were willing to talk and tell their sides of the story to the public while Dewy Riley, the deputy sheriff of woodsboro, and tennager Randy Meeks refused to talk to law enforcements at the time. All the stories told to law enforcement seem to differ from person to person, but...in this tale, we will focus on Y/n, the obsessions, side of the story...
Marked (poly! Billy loomis and Stu macher x reader)
Word count: 1070
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Chapter 25- Dawning bruises
(Light mentions of nudity but nothing sexual)
^^^3rd person P.O.V^^^
After a few moments of laying there, enjoying each other's presence, Y/n finally spoke.
"Hey Randy.." Y/n started as she looked up at him. "Hm?" Randy hummed in response, waiting for Y/n to continue.
"Can I stay over tonight?" She asks, her voice barely above a whisper, it was almost like she was....ashamed..to ask if she could stay over.
"You know you don't got to ask right? You can just stay over when ever you please-" "But what about your parents?" Y/n cut Randy off when he spoke. She knew Randy didn't mind but her main worry was his parents. She knew that her presence may end up becoming a bother for his parents.
"They have no choice but to let you stay. If you wanna stay here and spend the night with me than you can, fuck what they say" He said as he placed a gentle kiss to her forehead.
Y/n let out a sigh. "Sooner or later your parents are going to forbid me from staying over" "no the hell they won't! You've been through alot so if anything they'll understand why your over alot" Randy's arms stayed wrapped around her torso, keeping her body close to his in a almost protective manner.
Y/n leaned her head back into his chest, letting her eyes flutter closed. Then before she knew it, she felt oddly uncomfortable in his arms, she started to feel trapped, started to feel like that night was replying itself in her brain over and over.
Her eyes jolted open a look of fear on her face she broke away from Randy's arms. She didn't know why all of a sudden she felt uncomfortable, Randy had done nothing to her, all he had done was keep his arms around her torso while his hands had rested gently on her stomach.
"Y/n are you okay?" Randy asked softly. When y/n looked up at him she saw his eyes were full of concern, worry and fear. Randy felt his heart shatter slightly, all he could think was that he had done something wrong.
"I..I'm not sure" She choked out her body started to tremble slightly. "I...I just felt..uncomfortable" She said, her voice giving away that it wasn't only that she had felt uncomfortable.
Randy's heart fully shattered, his heart knew that he had caused her to think about what had happened to her. "I...understand" Randy said, his voice low, sounding almost as if he would cry.
The room was filled with an awkward silence for minutes that seemed to be hours before it was finally broken.
"Can i go take a shower?" Y/n had asked, her mind stilled filled with the memories of the night, that goddamn night that left her like this.
She remembered the distorted laughs of the men as a knife sliced into her skin, she remembered how they grabbed at her, leaving bruises on her skin.
"Sure again you don't have to ask, and if you want you can grab one of my shirts to wear" Randy replied, offering her a small smile. Y/n just nodded at him as she moved from the bed, grabbed a random shirt from a laundry basket and walked into the bathroom in Randy's room.
She shut the door and took a in a deep breath. She felt fear and sadness corsing though her entire body and it showed when she looked at herself in the mirror
Her skin was still bruised. Bruised lined around her neck, she didn't know that they had looked that bad. The dark marks littering her skin like a looming reminder. Her hair looked stringy despite being washed only the day before yesterday. Her eyes were blood shot from her hours of crying.
She felt disgusted as she looked at herself in the mirror. She eventually had to tear her gaze away from the mirror in order to stop herself from crying again.
She took in a shakey breath, trying to steady herself before she took off her clothes, she knew her body most likely looked worse then her face and neck.
She stood there, the only noise that filld the bathroom was her own shakey breathing and after a while, her shakey fingers gripped the hem of her shirt and slowly started to pull her shirt off.
Once the fabric of her shirt hit the floor she let her eyes look at her bare torso.
Her breasts were covered in bruises in the shape of fingerprints from where the two men had groped her harshly till she cried. Her stomach had small cuts from where the knife was used to cut her shirt.
Her breath had hitched in her throat she felt tears build up in her eyes as she grasped the waist band of her pajama pants before pulling them off slowly, wincing slightly when the fabric graced over the craving on her hip. She felt tears roll down her face as her shorts hit the floor.
She was breathing harder as she saw the blood stained bandages that coated around her hip, barely hanging on. She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, before she reopened her eyes and let herself slowly start to unwrap the bandages.
Her eyes went wide when she saw fully for the first time since it happened what the men had carved onto her body and how badly it looked.
Blood was surrounding the wound and the wound itself was horrid to look at. Her flesh was cut in sharp angles and rounded lines. The flesh was discolored and the inside of the cuts seemed to be discolored by drying blood.
Y/n let out a choked cry when she saw this. They had marked her body.  They had left something on her to remind her of then forever. A carving of that goddamn mask left on her hip.
"Y/n..are you okay?" Randy's muffled voice rang out from behind the door.
Y/n didn't reply, all she could do was cry as she leaned against the wall.
Why her?
Why did they have to do this to her?
Why?
Was it because she found her friend hanging from a tree?
....or was it for other reasons she didn't quite understand......
(YUHHHHH I KINDA LIKE THIS CHAPTER!!!!!)
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adamwatchesmovies · 3 months
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Scream 2 (1997)
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At one point, several of the characters in Scream 2 discuss sequels. Specifically how infrequently they measure up to the originals. If this were a bad movie, it would remind the audience of countless other - better - movies you could be watching instead but Scream 2 knows the ins and outs of sequels. It came into the arena prepared. This a great follow-up, combining elements of whodunit slasher, comedy and satire in a way that makes its intelligence clear.
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Set some time after the events of the first movie, the tragedy of Woodsboro has been immortalized by Hollywood. When a copycat killer emerges, Sidney (Neve Campbell) - now studying at Windsor College - finds herself once again targeted by an unknown, masked slasher.
A unique aspect of the Scream series is that it cares about its characters. While there are a few exceptions, such as Nancy from Nightmare on Elm Street, most of the humans we see in the horror films that inspired Scream 2 are there to be slaughtered. Jason, Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger and Chucky are the “heroes”; the ones who come back over and over. This movie is different. We know Officer Dewey (David Arquette), Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox) and Randy Meeks (Jamie Kennedy) well by now. They may be side characters but we want them to live. Their stories continue from where they left off, with a romance developing between Dewey and Gale, the already-capable Sidney cutting the crank-callers she gets at the knees, and poor Randy still left on the sidelines while obsessing about film. Automatically, you’re invested in this story.
In a move I don’t think I’ve ever seen before, we see that within the universe of Scream, there is a movie based on the massacre in Woodsboro called Stab. We see a few scenes - re-enactments of some from Scream. We see a crowd cheering when Ghostface appears. For me, this was a moment to pause. This was the movie that Scream and its sequel could've been; sleazy, blood-dripped fun. It's what the audience within the movie is getting - until the killer strikes. Suddenly, they all get a dose of reality.
Come to think of it, we assume it’s the Ghostface we see stalking Maureen (Jada Pinkett) that eventually goes on to torment Sidney… but what if it wasn’t? What if some sicko just took a place where everyone would be wearing masks, screaming, and used it to get away with murder? What if more than one person was sick enough in the head to kill? This ambiguity is definitely intentional. A sub-theme of “Scream 2” is whether movies can influence people to commit violent crimes. The person (or persons, there were two in the first film after all) after Sidney have been inspired by Stu Macher and Billy Loomis - real people in their world. Without Stab, would the masks be as readily available? Would the crime be as publicized? Is Stab partially to blame? This idea comes back strongly towards the end but you know we can’t discuss that here. Although I will say that even if you know the ending, the movie has great re-watch value. It’s a lot of fun to see how all the puzzle pieces fit together and how the film follows some conventions but subverts others.
Writer Kevin Williamson and director Wes Craven bring plenty of suspense along with the comedic scenes. It’s a nice balance that keeps you guessing. When you get comfortable, it pours on the gore to knock you off your feet. There are so many great scenes sprinkled throughout so let's list a few of them. There’s the one where Gail and Dewey are scouring the campus to track down who is calling Randy, the opener, Sarah Michelle Gellar's small part, Ghostface’s reveal (a blueprint for how to do one of those “I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming ending), the Stab scenes (a riot), that discussion in the film studies class, and a particularly effective moment in which Sidney is stalked by Ghostface in the middle of a play rehearsal (it might be the best scene in the movie). Oh, how could I forget Liev Schreiber as Cotton Weary? He only had a cameo in the first movie and the way he plays into this follow-up is terrific.
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There’s a lot to love in Scream 2. On the one hand, it’s a surprise lightning could strike twice but on the other, it’s only natural that a movie franchise that knows this much about movie franchises should be able to pull this off as well as it does. (On Blu-ray, January 23, 2022)
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msookyspooky · 1 year
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Hi Spooky !!! Sorry I’ve been kinda dead on the asks end (i have been keeping up with terrible trilogy and I’m loving it) but the Scream 6 trailer ?????? WHAT ????
Okay so I wasn’t as excited for it, specially because of Neve not being in it (still hoping that’s just them trying to trick us but she’s actually in the movie) but holy fucking shit the new tRAILER ????
YES !! YES !! I started screaming when watching the trailer “it’s Stu ! He survived ! It’s the cult plotline” cause I don’t fucking know where I saw this but Im SURE that one of the scrapped plots for 3 was Stu survived, went to jail and in jail found this cult like following and used them to terrorize Sidney (damn we could‘ve had it all)
The knife thing, the old ghostface mask, the literal fucking cult he has now !! All those ppl in the train (?) are probably red herrings, just ppl in their Halloween costumes, BUT OH MY GOD WHAT IF THEIR ALL IN THE CULT AND KILLING PPL ??? Actually terrifying
GF with a gun was hot (obviously) but I also lost it a little like ??? IS THAT ALLOWED ??? HE CANT HAVE A FUCKING GUN ??? Hot and also very scary (fucking delicious)
I’m now so excited for this fucking movie !! It’ll be the first Scream movie I get to see in theaters 🥺 so im really happy it’s gonna happen and I stg if I see Matthew Lillard getting unmasked— SPECIALLY if they pull some “Surprise Sidney” call back I think I’ll just cum immediately (is that too much ???? Nooo.... maybe ?? Idk you tell me skskskks)
If it’s not Stu however I think i have accidentally ruined this one for myself KSKSKSKS oh god
Star! I missed you where have you been loca? 😭💘
No valid!! I was so against it w/o Neve, I was like meh looks alright with the first trailer but the second??? I'm so sorry Neve but I gotta see it 🥲🎟
Him having a cult would be so damn amazing, never done before, scary af and SO FITTING FOR STU MACHER! AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE SHRINE? IMAGINE STU HAVING BILLY'S GF COSTUME IN THE MIDDLE AND OBSESSING OVER GETTING HIS KID TO DIE OR JOIN HIM
Everyone talks about Billy but Stu was by far the scariest. Jill was really the only GF imo trying to hold a candle to Billy (We can't count Roman bc he was on his own and the original technically and Mrs. Loomis as well obviously). But how many GF's have we had try to be like Stu? Mickey may have fanboyed Billy but he acted like Stu, Amber for sure, Charlie gladly took Stu's role next to Jill's Billy (Slapping himself and saying just like Billy and Stu the lil nerdling) Why? BECAUSE STU WAS THE MOVIE AND YOU AIN'T NEVER HAD A GF DUO LIKE BILLY AND STU
Stu was the og whose death wasn't clear, he was the goat and the franchise is doing such a fucking disservice to Matthew and fans by not finally showing SOMETHING to do with Stu Macher. 5 Movies and he's barely even mentioned??? No hate to Roman stans but it should have been Stu. BUUTTT Scream 6 looks infinitely better than 3 so if we get Stu in 6 being the baddest fucking GF we've ever seen AND with a cult following; I will be happy.
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No it's not to much bc if I see Stu being that skilled with a shotgun and a knife pulling some marvel moves and shit? That's gonna be my porn forever. The edits of this mystery GF already have me feeling a certain way 😩❤️‍🔥😏🥵
(Give me peepaw GF I NEED IT if Michael Myers fans get a middle aged to old man to simp for so do we damn it)
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fernweh-writes · 3 years
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Your writing gives me so much life and wholesome vibes! ;-;💕 If you wouldn't mind could you do the slashers with a s/o who loves to make home cooked meals for them.
Ahhh, thank you so much hun <3 As someone who loves to cook and who’s goal in life is to be a spoiled housewife, absolutely.
-Fern
Slashers x S/O who likes to cook
slight nsfw content if you squint
Michael Myers
This man craves a sense of normalcy in his very peculiar life. After all, he was diagnosed with a case of crazy at a young age and ever since no one had made an effort to care about him. One of the main reasons he would ever keep you around would be because you fit the housewife role that he needs wants. You give him the one thing he always wanted that no one else ever could, domesticity.
Michael has a weird schedule and just sort of comes and goes as he pleases. This can make having a hot meal ready quite difficult, but once you begin a steady routine of cooking for him he starts to appear whenever you’re cooking. Well at least most of the time, stalking and killing can keep him very busy sometimes.
He’s not very picky about what you cook, so you have plenty of freedom to make whatever your heart desires. He’s certainly not going to complain. Although, if you remember his favorite meals and cook them for him from time to time he will be extra grateful. His gratitude is often expressed through becoming very handsy with you.
Likes to watch you cook! Again he loves the whole domestic thing and watching you serve him cook for him pleases him. Plus you just look so cute wearing an apron. Also loves how focused you can be. Don’t expect him to help you though, this is your job y/n.
Pretty sure everyone agrees that Michael has a major sweet tooth so if you bake him sweets he decides you’re never going anywhere… ever. He’s keeping you, end of story.
The only thing he ever helps with in the kitchen is licking the bowl when you bake. Snatches the spoon from you as well, he wants all of it.
Bo Sinclair
Another man that is very much into the housewife thing. Like he gets off on it.
We all know Bo isn’t quite right in the head, but we all love him anyways! He wants someone to serve him, after all he needs to be in charge and to have control over everything. This includes controlling the roles within his own home.
The fact that you willingly cook though and actually enjoy cooking sends him over the moon. He knew that he had made the right decision when he decided to keep you. This just makes him further believe that you were meant to be his.
Home cooked meals remind him of the good parts of his childhood. So watching you cook with an apron tied around your waist while humming and just being content with what you’re doing makes him melt. It’s also going to make him more likely to open up and be a little more vulnerable with you. Watching you cook just puts him at ease.
Cooking his favorite meals though is what really gets to him. Especially if you decide to go all out and be cheesy by “setting the mood” with candles and fancy silverware. He’ll make fun of you and pretend to hate it but the lack of malice in his voice gives him away.
You can often find him standing around the kitchen while you cook as well. This started once you asked him to try something once to see if you needed to add anything. Now he won’t stop waiting around for free samples.
Bo decides that winter is his new favorite season. The shop doesn’t have any heating and he also spends a lot of time chasing victims around the woods or down the streets. In other words, he’s spending a lot of time out in the cold weather. Walking into his warm house to find the sweetest wife in Ambrose putting a hot meal on a plate for him makes his day. Don’t be surprised if he begins to bring up his other ideas about how you can keep him warm.
Vincent Sinclair
Vincent isn’t obsessed with the whole housewife thing the way that Bo is. He could really care less if his s/o cooked or not after all he had survived this long.
But, Vincent often gets lost in his work. This leads to him losing track of time quite often, so skipping meals isn’t something out of the ordinary. It’s not that he means to it’s just so easy for him to forget unless his stomach starts growling.
He does love that you love to cook for him though. Anytime you bring food down to his workshop so that he doesn’t forget to eat he absolutely melts. He doesn’t know how you could be anymore perfect.
Although he doesn’t expect nor necessarily want his significant other to take care of him he does enjoy the fact that you do so anyway. It shows that you care about him in a way that he hasn’t been cared for in a very long time. Especially enjoys the sentiment of you making him his favorite meals. Not only do you take care of him, you take the time to remember the little things about him! He doesn’t think he could possibly feel more loved.
After the first time he watches you cook, he’s hooked. You just look so cute and content in the kitchen. Seeing you so happy and at ease puts him at ease. It lets him know that you’re happy in Ambrose and that you really do love him.
Unlike most of the other slasher, he will help you clean up the kitchen. You two make quick work of all the dishes since you wash them and he dries them and puts them away. It started off with him washing the dishes until he watched you struggle to place plates at the top of a cabinet. Although, he did enjoy being able to press himself against your back while he helped you.
Thomas Hewitt
The fact you love to cook not only delights Thomas, but helps out Luda Mae as well. With you handling the kitchen, it takes one of the most time consuming chores off of her hands. Allowing her both a chance to rest as well as a chance to finally clean up more of the old house. And we all know whatever makes Momma happy makes Thomas happy.
Honestly though, you’re going to have to take up gardening as well. After all the town is pretty much abandoned and there isn’t much to work with. Hope you know recipes for making human meat taste good…
Once again, we have another slasher who’s ideal life involves a housewife. Thomas just wants his life to be normal for once but he also wants someone to truly care about him. He is always the one taking care of other people in the family so having you to take care of him is the one thing that keeps him going.
Thomas works hard and victims are always putting up a tough fight. Since all of Thomas chores take a lot of physical exertion, he always feels like he’s starving at the end of the day. Luckily he has you! You’ve never failed to have a hot meal waiting for him.
Don’t tell Momma, but he thinks that you’re a better cook.
Please ask him his opinion on the food. Thomas hardly ever gets a say in anything since Hoyt usually gets to call the shots. It may not be much, but you asking him for his input makes him feel important.
Cooking his favorite meals after you know he’s had a hard week just does something to him. Maybe it’s because it shows him that you care, that you pay attention and notice things. Whatever the matter, he definitely enjoys tossing you onto the bed after dinner to show you his gratitude. After all, no good meal is complete without dessert.
Stu Macher
His parents were hardly ever home so Stu learned to fend for himself. This included a lot of unhealthy takeout. You have no idea how he survived off of pizza for so long. Is your cholesterol okay Stu? Killing people and having to chase them down is probably the only reason he ever survived without you.
Lucky for him, now he has you! And you love to cook for him and he enjoys everything you cook. Making him his favorite foods is a quick way to get him excited so please cook them for him after he’s had a hard day.
Expect to have a fancy kitchen and anything your heart could desire to cook with. You two will definitely have a house with one of those walk in pantries so that you have plenty of space for ingredients. If you’re going to spoil him with good food obviously he is going to spoil you by giving you everything you need to do so.
Stu never though he could enjoy cooking, but you quickly show him that it can be fun. This means you can expect him to willingly help out from time to time, whenever he’s in the mood to help. It also means you can leave at ease knowing he won’t be feasting on takeout anytime you go somewhere. At least you thought so until you came home to an unbelievable amount of pizza boxes on the counter.
He is determined to invest in a label maker and put puns on all of your spices like the adorable dork he is.
Billy Loomis
Mr mommy issues absolutely loses his shit when you cook for him. Billy absolutely thrives off of you taking care of him. Once you start cooking for him he won’t allow you to stop, it becomes an expectation.
Billy likes to cling to you while you cook, quite literally. He’ll have his arms wrapped around your waste with his head resting on top of your head/shoulder so that he can watch what you’re doing. Hopefully you can maneuver around the kitchen with him attached to you because he isn’t going anywhere.
After being together for so long, Billy usually tells you when he’s going to “hang out” with Stu. Knowing he wouldn’t be back until very late, you left out food that he could easily heat up. Finding food on the counter with instructions of how long to microwave it melts his heart. Now he’s one hundred percent sure that you’re permanent.
Shows his gratitude more than you would expect him to. He will put away the leftovers while you clean up the kitchen. It may not be much, but it’s one less thing for you to do before going to bed at night.
Don’t worry, he’ll be the one in charge of dessert. It’s another way of showing his gratitude.
Brahms Heelshire
Obviously cooking for him is a requirement so it’s a good thing that you enjoy cooking. But it’s the way you go the extra mile for him that makes him set on keeping you.
You always make him his favorite foods which just fuels his spoiled ass. If you make something you don’t like he’s going to try an throw a tantrum over it. May even go as far as to stay in the walls for a whole day. But when he finds his dinner has gone cold because you had went to bed before he decided to stop being stubborn and come eat he will realize he was in the wrong.
Just make sure to put your foot down, otherwise he will never eat any of his vegetables. He’ll pout about it and complain the whole time but whatever it takes to get him to eat healthy. Eventually he will learn to stop complaining.
No one has ever actually enjoyed doing something for Brahms. He always had to force people into pretending that they cared about him. But you not only took care of him you enjoyed doing it. The home cooked meals you made left him feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside. You put your heart into the things you cooked for him, put your time into making something you would enjoy.
I keep thinking of you hiding something in his food as a way to get him to eat something without him knowing. One day he catches you sneaking in the ingredient while he’s in the walls and he is outraged. How dare you lie to him y/n, after he was such a good boy no less!
If you bake him sweets he will make himself sick from eating so many. You’re his impulse control, please hide the sweets from him so that he doesn’t get sick. It’s for his own good.
Jesse Cromeans/Chromeskull
He’s a very busy man so having you cook for him fills him with joy. There’s nothing like coming home to a hot meal after a day of chasing people down and dealing with idiots like Preston. His injuries can also leave him feeling very drained so it’s good that you know how to make plenty of different meals to make him feel better.
If you ever wanted to learn more about cooking he would 100% pay for classes for you. Could even arrange for them to be during times when he goes on business trips so that you have something to keep you occupied while he’s gone. When he gets back he expects you to show him everything that you learned.
Jesse loves it if you ever bring him food. Granted the first time you showed up at one of the warehouses he freaked out because you could’ve been hurt. Spann makes sure to reassure him that she knew you were coming and arranged for you to be kept safe the whole way there and back.
I can also see Spann being flattered if you brought extra food for her. It saves her time and allows her to get more done within a timely manner. Also means she doesn’t have to worry about everything falling apart while she tries to get food.
Watching you cook does something to Jesse and he’s not against picking you up and carrying you upstairs. He can think of something much better to eat than whatever you’re cooking. This has also led to the smoke alarms going off more than once.
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slashingdisneypasta · 4 years
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Slashers / Horror Villains as: Animated (Children’s) Movie Villain Songs
+ A Nightmare Before Christmas 
First of all, its mostly Disney. Second of all, I hope you know that this was a struggle for me. 
Also, note, Bubba will be the only Leatherface in this post and Billy and Stu will be the only Ghostfaces. There is Norma Bates though, so sort of a consolation. 
There are links to videos on YouTube ^^
~~~
Billy Loomis and Stu Macher / Ghostface: Playing With the Big Boy’s Now (Hotep and Huy, Prince of Egypt) 
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Well... they’re part of the ‘big boys’, now! They are part of the Slashers group that, uh, ‘inspired them’. Imagine instead of Egyptian Gods, they’re chanting Slasher names. 
[HUY] Pick up your silly twig, boy [HOTEP & HUY] You're playing with the big boys now! Ha ha ha ha!
[EGYPTIAN PRIESTS] By the power of Ra Mut, Nut, Khnum, Ptah Sobek, Sekhmet, Sokar, Selket Anubis, Anukis Hemsut, Tefnut, Meshkent, Mafdet... 
Chop Top and Nubbins + Bubba Sawyer / Leatherface: Kidnap Mr Sandy Claws (Lock, Shock and Barrel, Nightmare Before Christmas) 
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I mean... they aren't Drayton’s minions, but they are like this XD 
I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door And then knock three times And when he answers Sandy Claws will be no more
Yes you're so stupid, think now If we blow him up to smithereens We may lose some pieces And then Jack will beat us black and green
Kidnap the Sandy Claws Tie him in a bag
Chucky / Charles Lee Ray: In The Dark Of The Night (Rasputin, Anastasia)
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Mystical man? Check! ‘Betrayal’ (As far as he sees it)? Check. Made them pay? Check; I think Nica, Sarah and all the other families he destroys throughout the franchise can attest to that. And ‘One little girl got away’? Well Andy isn’t a girl, but yeah. Check. 
I was once the most mystical man in all Russia When the royals betrayed me they mad a mistake My curse made each of them pay But one little girl got away Little Anya, beware Rasputin's awake
Drayton Sawyer: Don’t Fall In Love (Forte, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas) 
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Its such a crochety, unessessarily rude way of describing relationships to someone! I mean, I understand completely and resonate deeply with the desire to be alone and not be responsible for anyone else, but- come on! Beast doesn't share your view! Let it go! 
Its just like Drayton’s reaction to Bubba having a crush. Super cool video too! 
As soon as your heart rules your head Your life is not your own It's hell when someone's always there It's bliss to be alone
And love of any kind is bad A dog, a child, a cat They take up so much precious time Now, where's the sense in that?
Freddy Krueger: No More Mr Nice Guy (Rothbart, Swan Princess) 
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A man with an uncomfortable relationship with the main female character pretending to be normal and not homicidal for a while before unlocking more power and letting there inner bad guy loose and taking great pleasure in it? Sounds familiar. They also have a similar vocabulary- except of course Rothbart is rated G. 
I'll become that nasty, naughty, dirty, spiteful Wicked, wayward, way-delightful Bad guy I was born to be
Lyin' loathesome, never-tender Indiscreet repeat offender No more Mr Nice Guy That's not me 
Inkubus: The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind (Professor Rattigan, The Greatest Mouse Detective)
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‘Inkubus’ is literally a movie about him listing all his crimes over the centuries and messing with the police force because he has a bone to pick with a detective. Sounds pretty similar to me! Listen to the song! ^^
Now comes the real tour de force Tricky and wicked, of course! My earlier crimes were fine for their times But now that I'm at it again An even grimmer plot has been simmering In my great criminal brain! 
Jason Voorhees: Despicable Me (About Gru, Despicable Me) 
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I... this is all I could think of!! But the more I listen to it and read the lyrics... it f i t s Jason so well! XD Please just let this slide; I know Gru isn't really a villain but he is at the start!! Let me have this. 
Why ask why? Better yet "Why not?" Why are you marking x on that spot? Why use a blow torch isn't that hot? Why use a chainsaw? Is that all you got? Why do you like seeing people in shock? But my question to you is "Why not?" Why go to the bank and stand in line Just use a freeze gun it saves me time. I'm havin' a bad, bad day It's about time that I get my way Steam rollin' whatever I see, Huh, despicable me I'm havin' a bad, bad day If you take it personal that's okay Watch, this is so fun to see Huh, despicable me
Jennifer Check: Trust In Me (Kaa, The Jungle Book) 
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She’s a succubus demon. Tempting boys into a safe-feeling, docile state so she she can strike is her thing. 
Will cease to resist Just relax Be at rest Like a bird In a nest
Trust in me Just in me Shut your eyes And trust in me
Mayor Buckman and Granny Boone: Savages (Governor Ratcliffe and the Colonizer’s parts, Pocahontas) 
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Obviously, because of the (Inaccurate) historical relevance of both movies (Different time’s, same terrible prejudice,) and also because there is definitely a very cult-ish feel about both Governor Ratcliffe’s song and Buckman’s leadership. How easily they’re able to gather support from their people for the most horrible reasons. How horrifying it is to audiences and historians. 
They're only good when dead They're vermin, as I said And worse
They're savages! Savages!
Barely even human
Savages! Savages!
Drive them from our shore! They're not like you and me Which means they must be evil We must sound the drums of war!
Michael Myers: The Gospel Truth II (Muses about Hades, Hercules)
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In a Disney movie, Michael would have others sing his song about him as he goes about his silent, determined walking XD 
If there's one God you don't want to get steamed up It's Hades 'Cause he had an evil plan He ran the underworld But thought the dead were dull and uncouth He was as mean as he was ruthless And that's the gospel truth He had a plan to shake things up And that's the gospel truth
Midnight Man: Oogie Boogie’s Song (Oogie Boogie, Nightmare Before Christmas)
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A song about a “Gamblin’ Boogie Man” is perfect for the Midnight Man! He and Oogie could be pals. 
Woah! The sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man Although I don't play fair It's much more fun, I must confess When lives are on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fine
Norma Bates: Mother Knows Best Reprise (Mother Gothel, Tangled)
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Norma is soooooo so so so unbelievably manipulative towards Norman (And Dylan. It just works better on Norman) and this song absolutely presents that. She can go from sweet, loving mother to spiteful, heinous bitch in two seconds if Norman or Dylan don't do what or react the way she wants them to. 
Likes you? Please, Rapunzel, that's demented
This is why you never should have left! Dear, this whole romance that you've invented, Just proves you're too naive to be here Why would he like you? Come on now, really! Look at you, you think that he's impressed? Don't be a dummy Come with mummy
Pamela Voorhees: My Lullaby (Zira, The Lion King 2)
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In a opposite approach to a villainous mother to Norma, we have Pam, who was heartbroken by the camp councillors letting her son die and vowed to get revenge. She didn't know she was teaching Jason to be the Crystal Lake killer like Zira did, but she did, and the whole song does have her kind of feel to it also. 
Sleep, my little Kovu Let your dreams take wing One day when you're big and strong You will be a kingI've been exiled, persecuted Left alone with no defense When I think of what that brute did I get a little tense But I dream a dream so pretty That I don't feel so depressed 'Cause it soothes my inner kitty And it helps me get some rest
Patrick Bateman: Cruella De Vil (Arthur, 101 Dalmations) 
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Never before was there a song that described audiences reaction to watching Patrick living in his daily life and hearing his thoughts better then this one. 
Cruella De Vil Cruella De Vil If she doesn't scare you No evil thing will To see her is to Take a sudden chill Cruella, Cruella De Vil
The curl of her lips The ice in her stare All innocent children Had better beware She's like a spider waiting For the kill Look out for Cruella De Vil
Pennywise (Both): You’re Only Second Rate (Jafar, Return of Jafar)
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Mostly for the video and Jafar’s energy in this scene actually XD So many transformations, so many tasteless puns! I was going to give this to Freddy but its the closest thing to Penny I could think of. 
Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size I'll make a great escape It's just a piece of cake You're only second rate You know your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up Let me pontificate upon your sorry state You're only second rate
Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt: Hellfire (Judge Claude Frollo, Hunchback of Notre Dame) 
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A nasty filthy man who think’s he’s in the right despite being the biggest creep and monster ever? Mhm. 
*Note: I honestly didn't notice the deformed baby, Quasimodo/Thomas link until the day after I wrote this. Don't know how I feel about it. I mean, Hoyt is actually nice, in his way, to Thomas so the connection isn't totally there but onwards:
Beata Maria You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue I am justly proud
Beata Maria You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd 
End of Post! 🌼
(Bonus’ under the cut) 
I did think of other connections which I obviously didnt landed on but still have merit! Here! 
Billy Loomis and Stu Macher: ‘Gaston’ was considered, but that would have just been a joke XD I don’t think Stu is quite as obsessed with Billy as LeFou is with Gaston. 
Chucky: Friends on the Other Side. Obviously! That link was actually what inspired me to make this post. In The Dark of Night fits to a T though. 
Freddy Krueger: You’re Only Second Rate! Ah, its perfectttt. But No More Mr Nice Guy fits better. If I ever do a Slashers as Disney Villains post, he’ll be Jafar for sure. Or Hades. Or Scar. Or Oogie. Probably Hades. You know what? Without the gore and blood and explicit sexual references, Freddy could be a Disney Villain himself. Its not like Disney hasn't towed the line before with perverted villains. >_> (Jafar and Frollo) 
Jason and Pamela Voorhees: Mother Knows Best! Of course. 
Jennifer Check: Love is For Peasants (Barbie Island Princess) Because Jennifer thinks like this: 
Men? <<< Literally anything else. 
Patrick Bateman: How Can I Refuse? (From Barbie Princess and the Pauper) XD If Patrick were a kids movie villain, he would totally join the ranks of corrupted usurpers pretending to be trustworthy royal advisory staff. Also ‘Let It Die’, that little interruption part of another song that O’Hare sings in the Lorax and ‘How Bad Can I be?’. 
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Those Nights
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[Songs to Stories Series Masterlist]
Fandom: Scream (1996)
Characters: Billy Loomis, Stu Macher, Reader
Summary: You’ve been friends with Stu and Billy for as long as you can remember, even going as far as to having mini sleep overs with a couple of friends. A serial killer is on the loose but you don’t pay any mind. What happens when your phone rings before the clock strikes midnight?
Warning(s): Attempted Murder
Notes: Requested by @irageneve and inspired by Those Nights—Skillet. I don’t know how good I did with this one, but I hope you enjoy!
✼⋅•⋅•⋅⊱•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•∙∘❆༓❆∘∙•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊰⋅•⋅•⋅✼
The sound of a chainsaw revving and woman screaming echoed throughout the small and quaint as you continued to binge the entirety of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Series of Movies. Even with the recent murders, you felt comfortable in your own home and skin—you were an adrenaline junkie after all, and anything that could bring fear into someone was always fascinating to you. The phone in your kitchen rang as you shot it a look, tilting your head curiously. Who would be calling you ten minutes to midnight? Standing, you walk to the kitchen and pick up the phone, muting the tv. “Hello?” You ask into the phone and was only greeted in silence for a moment.
“What’s your favorite scary movie?” Asked a voice from the phone, their voice distorted and manipulated. A giggle left your lips, grabbing a kitchen knife to fiddle with for now. “Hmm, that’s a hard one. There’s a lot of good slasher films, I can’t really choose. Only one?” You ask innocently, hearing them grunt as you slam the tip of the knife subconsciously into the counter top. You had an idea what was going on and you were pumping with adrenaline—was this the killer you were talking to? “Now, that’s not a way to answer a question, is it? Just slamming your knife on the counter while bouncing your pretty little ass around like a jackrabbit,” He hums into the phone as you still for a moment.
You were in your own horror movie, weren’t you? You giggled, extremely excited but scared at the same time. “How do you know that mister?” You feign horror, tracing lines in the kitchen island. “You know exactly how I know that, sugar tits,” You hear someone say behind you as your pinned to the island, a small yelp escaping your lips. A familiar scent caught your nose—it smelled like Billy’s cologne! Before you could open your mouth, a bloodstained knife was placed right near your neck. “Come on, at least be a little scared—I’m a stranger invading your house and all you do is make a noise?”
“Billy? Is that you under there?” You ask as the man stiffens, you taking the chance to pull the mask from his head and hear the other person cuss from the other end of the phone. “Billy! What the fuck! You don’t just sneak up on somebody like that—I though you were the killer!” You sigh as you wiggle away from him, finding Stu in the same outfit by the door. “Wait a minute…..are you two Ghostface? The guy that’s been killing the teens for the past couple of days?”
They both go silent and that’s enough to make you sigh. “So the two people I like kill people,” You mutter, playing with your hair. Billy is the first to speak up. “They other reason why we came here was to tell you something—something about both of us involving you,” Billy speaks calmly as Stu fiddles with his thumbs. “Me n’ Stu like you—we’ve like you since we were kids, and it’s gotten a little….obsessive over the years. All those teenagers were getting close to you and we were livid. So, myself and Stu took it upon ourselves to start killing them.”
“We’re sorry,” Stu speaks up from the corner, both looking pathetic and saddened. You laugh quietly and then break out into a fit, both of them raising an eyebrow—now you looked like the murderer! “Oh boys,” You coo, the sudden change of tone made them both shiver. “No need to apologize—it’ll be like old times, right? When I stayed over because my parents fought and we pulled all nighters? But this time, it’s murder—you know I’m an adrenaline junkie.” You take your thumb and smudge the blood from Billy’s mouth, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“Did I ever say I love both of you too? I don’t believe so, but I do love both of you,” You smiled as their faces twisted from pained to ecstatic. Both of your boys held you as you laughed softly. “Let’s go finish my Texas Chainsaw Massacre Marathon, yeah? You both won’t mind, right?” You question was answered as Billy left his knife, the voice modifier, their masks and the other phone on the island. Settling down, you were joined on the couch by your two new lovers—now officially apart of Ghostface.
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scriptshrink · 7 years
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Critique of a Certain Cracked Article - The Bad
Oh boy.  So we’ve seen the myths about mental illness that Cracked got right, and the ones that were partially correct but mostly wrong. Now we’ve reached the ones that legitimately reduced the Shrink to incoherent screaming.
Lock and load, Shrinky-dinks. I’m taking no prisoners.
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[Gif: The Winter Soldier loads a grenade into an attachment on his assault rifle while murderstrutting.]
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[Cracked image: The charming psychopath is everywhere // Pictures of Negan, Walter White, Dexter, and Loki // They won’t stay charming for long. So many TV and movie villains are portrayed as charming ladies’ men. Even Walter White’s sex life improves after he starts cooking meth. There’s Negan, The Joker, Dexter, Patrick Bateman, Billy Loomis. The truth is, antisocial personality disorder causes a laundry list of symptoms that make a person impossible to be in a relationship with. // source is from the mayo clinic]
...Why is Loki up there? I am confused.
Anyways, people with antisocial personality disorder are very good at manipulating people. They can be very fucking charming, and very fucking good at it.
And I hate the phrase “laundry list”.  Guess what?  You don’t have to have ALL THOSE SYMPTOMS LISTED to get diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder.
You just need three.  Let’s pull three from the list of criteria, shall we?
They lie, manipulate and con others for their own personal gain.
They’re impulsive and don’t plan ahead.
They are consistently irresponsible, don’t fulfill things expected of them, and / or can’t hold down a steady job.
I mean, that certainly describes an asshole, but “a person impossible to be in a relationship with”? Hardly.
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[Cracked image - Adrian Monk suffers from OCD. // picture of Adrian Monk hiding behind his turtleneck // Actually, no, he really doesn’t. It’s easier to remember what Monk is not afraid of than what he is. He lists germs, needles, milk, death, snakes, mushrooms, heights, crowds, elevators, public speaking, and airplanes, to name a few. The thing is, that’s not obsessive-compulsive disorder. Those are phobic disorders, which are not related to OCD at all. Actual OCD involves a crippling dependence on repetition and rituals.// source is chicago tribune]
OKAY.  First off. A fear of public speaking IS NOT A PHOBIA. It is a part of Social Anxiety Disorder (Performance Only).
Also, OCD does not fucking REQUIRE compulsions. YOU CAN HAVE ONLY OBSESSIONS AND STILL HAVE OCD. (See my demystifying post here!)
AND GUESS WHAT?  ADRIAN MONK HAS COMPULSIONS.
Performing a ritual because of a fear (such as excessive cleaning / handwashing due to a fear of germs) is a COMPULSION.
Look at literally the first time you see Monk IN THE FUCKING OPENING CREDITS OF THE SHOW.
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[Gif - Adrian Monk is walking down a street, and touches a parking meter without looking at it.]
You’d think, because he’s so germophobic, that he would avoid touching those things. NOPE. He has a compulsion to TOUCH ALL THE POLES that he passes when he’s walking.
Sure, he has phobias.  BUT HE HAS OCD TOO.
One last note. 
Those are phobic disorders, which are not related to OCD at all.
Hmm. Yes, that’s correct. Phobias are anxiety disorders, and OCD has its own category. I’m not sure why this is sticking out to me so much. But I’m sure it’ll be important later.
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[Cracked picture - In Fight Club, the narrator has a split personality. // image of the narrator and Tyler Durden // That’s not how multiple personalities work. Those with disassociative identity disorder don’t just wake up and realize they’ve been living as another person. They don’t always know about the other personalities, and don’t black out and live as another person. Amnesia and fugue states do happen, but what you see in movies is writers combining them to suit their narrative.// Source is from mayo clinic.]
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[Gif of Hades nearly being literally consumed with fiery rage, but calming himself down saying “Okay, fine, fine. I’m cool. I’m fine.]
It’s “dissociative”, not “disassociative”. We’ve had this talk in the last part, Cracked. Do a single goddamn google search so you know how to spell the goddamn names of things.
This part of the takedown comes courtesy of Maxx, one of @dinosaursindisarray’s alters:
DID isn't personalities, multiple or split or anything. That’s not just outdated terminology, it's also an incorrect description, because the alters aren't personalities at all, they're functionally other people.
“Those with DID don't just wake up and realize they've been living as another person.”
k, well, sometimes, they do.
Like, the person might not realize it as it goes on, but then something triggers an 'aha' moment (for some people) that make the symptoms more overt and noticeable, either to the person experiencing them or other people.
There could be a trigger that suddenly floods the person with enough memories to realize what's going on - memories of trauma, or bleedthrough from other alters, memories of that alter being out, etc, and then the person has enough to do research and be like 'something is /wrong/'
[For us], it was like, one day after a lot of stressful shit built up over a couple of weeks, I came out instead of Month and because I was tired and cranky. Her friends noticed and asked about it, I told the truth, and after she came back, her friends were like 'so this thing happened, what the fuck' and Month's blackouts and dissociation started making more sense and she was able to contact a professional to be like 'what the fuck is going on'.
The initial realization did happen sort of at once, which isn't entirely uncommon, especially with psych knowledge more readily available to people. (that can lead to people mistaking shit and thinking they have DID when they don't, cause misinfo, but it's still easier for people who do have it to figure out what the fuck is up and seek help than it was before).
“They always know about the other personalities"
The entire point of DID and OSDD is to keep shit hidden. Keep trauma memories hidden from the everyday life of the kid so they can function and not fucking die. Keep symptoms away from others around the kid so that they aren't abused worse. So this shit is supposed to be kept separate, and if you always know about what's going on, then it’s not happening.
"and don't black out and live as another person"
Yeah. Some people do. Like, full memory blackouts while another alter is out might not happen all the time or with every alter, but it can totally happen with DID. Not OSDD as much, I think, but still.
There are certain alters that Month has NO memory overlap from. Others that she only gets one or two things, others she remembers most of it like watching a movie, others that she remembers it like she was there but really out of it, etc. It's not necessary for every alter every time to be DID, but if there's any amnesia and blackouts between alters (and with trauma memories) then it's DID criteria.
"Amnesia and fugue states do happen"
Yeah, amnesia is that blackout thing you just said didn't happen. Might not be a full blackout but like, amnesia. not remembering. sometimes that means blackouts.
And fugue states are dissociative, but that's a separate thing from DID. Can it happen to someone with DID? Yeah. Does someone have to have DID for it to happen? Nah.
Writers do combine and add shit and dramatize the fuck out of the wrong things (see: m. night) to suit their needs rather than maintaining fact, but yeah. everything else is p much wrong
Thanks again to Maxx from @dinosaursindisarray for taking over for that one. That gave me a nice little respite! Now let’s take a look at the last one, surely it can’t be THAT bad...
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[Cracked image - In Black Swan, Nina suffers from a host of conditions. // image of Nina // Real people don’t have them all at once. The film gave Nina the ballerina a cocktail of disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, cutting, and obsessive compulsive disorder, then had her descend into psychosis. The problem is that they’re incompatible conditions. People with psychosis lose touch with reality. Those with anxiety disorders like OCD and anorexia are too in touch with reality. // source is abc news]
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[Gif of the only thing that can adequately convey my rage: Tsar Bomba, the largest nuclear weapon ever created, exploding and forming a gigantic mushroom cloud]
Okay okay okAY OKAY OKAY.
The only way I can get through this is to go from minor things to major ones. 
You are right about one single thing here, Cracked. You can’t be diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia at the same time. Congratulations. If someone has symptoms of both disorders, it’s either Anorexia with the Binge Eating / Purging subtype, or OSFED (other specified feeding/eating disorder, formally known as EDNOS - eating disorder not otherwise specified).
Okay. Next up. Unless you’re counting when Nina stabs herself with the glass shard at the very end of the movie, Nina never cuts herself. She scratches herself. But I’ll give you the smallest amount of the smoking ashes left of my benefit of the doubt and say you meant “self-mutilation” here, not cutting.
Those with anxiety disorders like OCD and anorexia
OCD AND ANOREXIA ARE NOT ANXIETY DISORDERS.
Besides, you just fucking said with the Monk one that phobias are completely unrelated to OCD!! PHOBIAS ARE AN ANXIETY DISORDER!!! AT THE VERY LEAST KEEP YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT LIES CONSISTENT!!!!!!!
On that note, where the fuck did you get OCD from in the first place??? There’s only two things I can think of that even vaguely qualify. 
Nina’s compulsive scratching. But guess what???  THAT’S NOT OCD. THAT’S EXCORIATION (AKA SKIN PICKING) DISORDER.
Nina’s compulsive exercising. HELLO WHY YES THIS IS A SYMPTOM OF ANOREXIA.
People with psychosis lose touch with reality. Those with anxiety disorders like OCD and anorexia are too in touch with reality.
yhghgtfrrghyujuhnukjfgdcghgtfyughyhhjnyh
Sorry about that. I repeatedly smashed my head into the keyboard.
But oh my fucking god.
THE WHOLE GODDAMN PROBLEM WITH OCD AND ANOREXIA IS THAT THEY’RE NOT CONNECTED TO REALITY.
One of the fucking specifiers for OCD is WITH ABSENT INSIGHT OR DELUSIONAL BELIEFS, which means the person in question fully believes that their illogical obsessions are true, you fuckwads!
[[Shrink’s edit - a “specifier” is a possible subcategory of a mental illness. The DSM-5 also two other possible specifiers for OCD: “With good to fair insight”, meaning the individual recognizes that their disordered beliefs are definitely or probably not true; and “With poor insight”, where the individual thinks their disordered beliefs are probably true. It is a grading of severity, not a requirement.]]
Let’s look at a some fucking case studies here. Go ahead. Read them. I’ll wait.
Tell me, Cracked. Do these sound like people who are MORE IN TOUCH with reality?! Will a person really be transported into a mirror dimension if they turn on a light switch??? If they touch something, will their ‘power’ be stolen unless they touch it again multiple times??
Also, is someone with severe anorexia who still thinks they aren’t thin enough even as they’re FUCKING STARVING THEMSELVES TO ACTUAL, LITERAL DEATH “too in touch with reality,” Cracked???
[[Another edit: most people with OCD and anorexia are not at this extreme. But it is far more accurate to say that these disorders involve losing some touch with reality than saying that they are ‘too in touch’ with reality. Seriously though, what the fuck does “too in touch” with reality even mean???]]
Oh, and it’s not like there have been studies that don’t just say that eating disorders and psychosis can co-occur, but that they might be FUCKING LINKED TO EACH OTHER!!!
And now, my esteemed Shrinky-dinks, we come to the most horrendous part of this absolutely atrocious dumpster fire of an article. 
Real people don’t have them all at once.
Real people don’t have them all at once.
Real people don’t have them all at once.
ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?!?!?!?!? 
Guess what, fuckfaces?  
COMORBIDITY IS EXTREMELY COMMON.  
Let’s look at this one study of almost 2,500 women with severe eating disorders. Guess what they fucking found?
97% had more than one fucking mental illness.
Ninety fucking seven percent.
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[Image: “I made a chart since Cracked writers apparently can’t fucking read.” // a pie chart with a very small portion labeled Only ED, and the overwhelming majority labeled More than one mental disorder.]
Schizophrenia and eating disorders may not be a super common combination, BUT IT FUCKING EXISTS.  
PEOPLE CAN FUCKING HAVE MORE THAN ONE MENTAL ILLNESS!! 
BUT I GUESS IT DOESN’T MATTER TO YOU SINCE THEY’RE SO CRAZY THEY’RE NOT REAL PEOPLE, YOU ABLEIST FUCKING SACKS OF FUCKING SHIT.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH
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[Gif - The Hulk fucking annihilating Loki by repeatedly smashing him into the ground, which is what I wish I could be doing to the writers.]
Concluding Thoughts
If I seem calmer at this point, it’s because I wrote it before the rest of this article. I have no doubt future Shrink will still be screaming into the void long after the queue finally gets to this post.
Let’s take a look at how Cracked introduced this article.
It's a losing fight, going up against the myths pop culture perpetuates. But, dammit, someone has to do it.
That someone is obviously not you. Your writers are willfully ignorant and unable to do even a simple google search of the names of the things they’re writing about to make sure they got the spelling right. 
You have failed to do the fucking most basic research possible. 
A monkey in a library could do a better job than you, as there’s an actual chance that in randomly throwing pieces of its own shit, a book might be knocked off a shelf and the monkey might fucking glance in its direction.
Because left unchecked, people go around spewing every dumb thing they learn from clickbait articles movies and shows that are really just using mental illnesses to advance a plot and make a buck from pageviews, instead of teach us anything useful.
You made a few typos. I fixed them for you.
So, dig in, because it's time drop a knowledge bomb on your ass.
How fucking dare you. 
You are not “dropping a knowledge bomb” on us. This article is nothing more than a fucking whoopie cushion. We sit down, all excited to see myths about mental illness being exploded, but are instead given a bunch of hot air that sounds like people’s ass cheeks flapping together.
Fuck you, @cracked.
I hope your pageviews tank. I hope you have to take on so many advertisers that your readers can’t even see your content anymore. I hope no one ever submits to your ‘contests’ again, forcing you to have a staff member make up all the entries for you. I hope your heads get so stuck up your own asses that you don’t even notice that your website has been spreading malware to your readers like the cancerous bullshit your content truly is.
Oh. Wait. 
Like my torment and suffering? Support me on Patreon.
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