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pesterloglog · 3 months

Text

Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Kanaya Maryam, Dirk Strider

Page 21

DAVE: holy shit thats disgusting

KARKAT: DON’T BE A FUCKING XENOPHOBE

DAVE: im not being a xenophobe

DAVE: dude you know im not a xenophobe

DAVE: i mean thats what this whole election thing is about

DAVE: having your back when it comes to this reproduction issue

DAVE: well

DAVE: that and the economy

DAVE: lets not lose TOTAL sight of the economy in this critical discussion

DAVE: but im almost as passionate about this troll speciesism thing as i am about the economy which you may not have known is my number one issue

DAVE: my wheelhouse you could say

DAVE: but my other wheelhouse is like

DAVE: giving a fuck about your feelings and culture and shit?

DAVE: dude hey

DAVE: karkat

DAVE: yo karkat you listening?

KARKAT: HEY DIPSHIT, SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE.

KARKAT: I’M NOT IGNORING YOU BECAUSE I’M MAD.

DAVE: what

DAVE: that wasnt what i

KARKAT: I KNOW THAT YOU PERISH LIKE A DELICATE LILAC BLOOM IN THE FUCKING DESERT IF NOT SHOWERED WITH MY VERBAL ATTENTION AT ALL TIMES.

KARKAT: BUT I’M KIND OF WITNESSING THE REBIRTH OF MY ENTIRE FUCKING SPECIES RIGHT HERE.

KARKAT: YOU EVER THINK THAT THIS MIGHT BE A MONUMENTAL MOMENT FOR ME?

KARKAT: THAT I MIGHT BE AWESTRUCK AT THE PURE MAJESTY OF THIS SIGHT?

DAVE: yeah but it is totally disgusting right

KARKAT: I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU

KARKAT: WHAT PART OF THIS IS DISGUSTING?

KARKAT: IS IT THE SLOW DEFLATING OF ITS DISTENDED ABDOMEN?

KARKAT: THE SOUND OF DOZENS OF SEGMENTED LEGS CLACKING AGAINST ITS EXOSKELETON?

KARKAT: THE UNFERTILIZED SLURRY BEING SLOWLY SQUEEZED FROM ITS OVIPOSITIONAL SPHINCTER?

KARKAT: IS THAT IT? IS THAT DISGUSTING TO YOU DAVE?

DAVE: kind of

KARKAT: ...

KARKAT: YOU’RE RIGHT

KARKAT: IT’S HORRIBLE

KARKAT: TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST I WOULD HAVE GLADLY GONE THE REST OF MY WRETCHED EXISTENCE WITHOUT EVER SEEING THIS.

DAVE: its like when you squish the toothpaste down in the middle

DAVE: only the tube is filled with fetus juice

KANAYA: Im Sorry But I Can Hear You From Down Here

KANAYA: Did You Want To Talk To Me Or Are You Intent On Performing An Impromptu And Very Unfunny Comedy Act On My Front Step

DAVE: oh hey kanaya

DAVE: whats shaking sis

KANAYA: Must You Always Call Me That

DAVE: nah but it does feel pretty rad to say

DAVE: like wow my sister in law is an alien how cool is that

DAVE: i love our awesome planet where everyone is free to form xenophilic family units without fear of government interference or reprisal

DAVE: which is a totally smooth segue into the topic at hand

KARKAT: THAT WASN’T SMOOTH AT ALL.

KARKAT: IN FACT I DON’T THINK IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO RAISE THE SUBJECT WE’VE COME TO TALK ABOUT IN A MORE OSTENTATIOUSLY AWFUL AND AWKWARD WAY.

KARKAT: JUST BECAUSE YOU DID THAT STUPID LITTLE...

KARKAT: ...MOTION WITH YOUR HANDS DOESN’T MAKE IT SMOOTH

DAVE: no see the reason its smooth is because i was the one who did it

DAVE: i got inherent smoothness and its a quality that transfers to everything i say and do

DAVE: also that thing i do with my hands isnt stupid

DAVE: its cool

KARKAT: IT’S THE STUPIDEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN AND YOU DO IT LIKE TEN TIMES A DAY.

KARKAT: WHAT EVEN IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE?

DAVE: im dropping a beat

DAVE: like im using a turntable and scratching one song into another

DAVE: all smooth and shit

KARKAT: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE TRYING TO FOLD LAUNDRY YOU FORGOT TO IRON.

DAVE: dude you have never once in your life ironed a shirt

KARKAT: I AM FAMILIAR WITH THE BASIC MECHANICS OF YOUR EARTH CUSTOMS DAVE.

DAVE: ok ironing is def not earth culture

DAVE: ive seen kanaya iron like

DAVE: a whole bunch of shirts

DAVE: yo kanaya

DAVE: back me up here sis

KANAYA: So This Is About The Election

KARKAT: AH.

KARKAT: YES.

KARKAT: YOU’VE ALREADY HEARD.

KANAYA: I Do Get The Internet Down Here

KANAYA: I Am Impressed That You Managed To Be Seen In Front Of That Many People Without Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames

KARKAT: WOW THANKS, ANOTHER VOTE OF CONFIDENCE FROM ONE OF MY DEAREST FRIENDS.

KARKAT: THIS CONDESCENSION IS REALLY RICH COMING FROM THE PERSON WHO DECIDED HER NARCISSISTIC OBSESSION WITH BEING THE ONE TO HATCH THE MOTHER GRUB WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN NOT SEEDING OUR PLANET WITH A STOPGAP SYSTEM OF REPRODUCTION THAT WOULD CAUSE SYSTEMIC SPECIESISM TO OSSIFY INTO SOCIETY FOR 5000 YEARS.

DAVE: karkat

DAVE: hey

KANAYA: This Again

KARKAT: YES, THIS AGAIN!!!

KARKAT: FUCK!!!

DAVE: (uh)

DAVE: (karkat buddy)

DAVE: (remember the game plan here)

DAVE: (we want to get kanaya on our side not alienate her completely)

KANAYA: Karkat

KANAYA: I Acknowledge That There Have Been Consequences To The Decisions We Made Regarding The Foundation Of This Society That Were Not Foreseen Or Ideal

KANAYA: But I Do Not Think It Is Productive To Attribute These Resultant Troubles To A Single Decision Or Individual

KANAYA: It Stands In The Way Of Our Efforts To Address Them

KARKAT: MMNNNRRRGHHH.........

DAVE: (shhhhhh)

KAYANA: You Know As Well As I Do That We Must Present A United Front

KANAYA: Please Do Not Misinterpret My Tone

KANAYA: I Have Nothing But The Utmost Faith In You

KANAYA: While I Know That It Is Difficult For You To Take A Direct Compliment

KANAYA: I Have In The Past Put My Faith In You When The Threat To Our Survival Has Been Immediate And Literal

KANAYA: Its Basically Nothing To Ask Me To Do It Again Now That The Threat Is Far More

KANAYA: *Existential*

KANAYA: Is How I Think I Shall Put It

KANAYA: If We Are Going To Be Polite

DAVE: youre up on all the issues then

KANAYA: How Could I Not Be When It Concerns Me So Directly

KANAYA: Jane Has Been Here To Speak With Me Recently In Fact

DAVE: no fucking way

KANAYA: She Was Quite Cordial As Always

KANAYA: You Know I Do Like Jane

KANAYA: In Some Regards She Reminds Me Of A Friend We Had Who Sadly Did Not Survive Our Time On The Meteor

KANAYA: She Was Unfailingly Kind To Everyone She Met But She Also Happened To Be The Heiress To The Throne Of A Vast And Bloody Empire

KANAYA: And While She Had A Lot Of Opinions On Reform She Had Already Wrenched Some Of Her Power From Our Last Empress In The Traditional Manner

KANAYA: By Which I Mean That Jane Is Perfectly Pleasant And I Believe That She Has Only The Best Of Intentions

KANAYA: But I Cant Shake The Feeling That Deep Inside Her Lurks The Potential For Despotism

KARKAT: OKAY I GET WHY YOU GUYS KEEP CALLING JANE A CRYPTO-FASCIST

KARKAT: BUT FUCKING FEFERI? SHE WAS HARMLESS.

KANAYA: These Things Take Time To Gestate Karkat

DAVE: damn

KANAYA: Power Corrupts In Small Steps

KANAYA: Compromises

KANAYA: Concessions

KANAYA: Appeasements

KANAYA: And Leaders Follow The Example Set For Them

KANAYA: Look At What Jane Has Modeled Herself After Already

KANAYA: I Do Believe Its Important To Consider Precedent

KANAYA: This Is Why I Trust You Karkat

KANAYA: Because You Listen To Advice From Below And Beside You Not From Above

KANAYA: And If Dave Is With You I Trust You Not To Isolate Yourself As You Have In The Past

DAVE: sweet

DAVE: so weve got your endorsement then

KANAYA: Jane Offered Me “A Seat” On The “Board Of Responsible Troll Reproduction”

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK. HOW DARE SHE!

KANAYA: That Is Exactly What I Said

KANAYA: With More Tact Of Course

KANAYA: I Do Understand The Trepidation Considering What The History Books Teach About Alternia

KARKAT: OH, LIKE HUMAN HISTORY IS A FUCKING WALK IN THE RECREATION SPRAWL.

KARKAT: HOW HYPOCRITICAL CAN SHE BE?

KANAYA: Yes

KANAYA: In Case You Cant Tell I Am Actually Fucking Furious About This

KARKAT: SHE COULDN’T PICK A MORE SUBTLE WORD THAN “RESPONSIBLE”? SHE’S NOT EVEN TRYING TO MASK HER XENOPHOBIA. IT’S LIKE SHE HAS NO FUCKING RESPECT FOR US.

KANAYA: It Is Entirely Thoughtless On Her Part

KANAYA: Our Reproduction Method Is Alien And Unfamiliar

KANAYA: To A Human It Must Sound Monstrous

KANAYA: Uncontrolled Even

KARKAT: WELL OF COURSE

KARKAT: WHEN I HEAR ABOUT HOW HUMAN GRUBS CHEW THEIR WAY OUT OF THE FEMALE MATESPRIT’S ABDOMINAL HOLE BEFORE CONSUMING THE WOMB MEMBRANE IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.

KARKAT: BUT YOU DON’T SEE ME PROPOSING FUCKING POLITICAL POLICY BASED ON THAT.

DAVE: dude thats not how pregnancy works

KARKAT: UH DAVE, YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE NOTICED, BUT WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT HUMANS RIGHT NOW.

KANAYA: Yes Dave Check Your Privilege

DAVE: ok

KARKAT: ANYWAY WE NEED TO EXPOSE HER BULLSHIT IMMEDIATELY.

KARKAT: I DON’T SEE HOW ANY TROLL CAN VOTE FOR HER IF THEY HEAR WHAT SHE’S PLANNING.

KANAYA: I Have A Feeling That It Would Sway Many Non Trolls To Our Campaign As Well

KANAYA: I Hope That There Is At Least One Principle We Share As A Planet

KANAYA: Which Is That We Must All Work To Ensure Equal Dignity And Respect For Every Species

KANAYA: Otherwise

KANAYA: What Was This All For

DAVE: you know

DAVE: that might be the magic ticket folks need to hear to wake up about this issue

DAVE: would you be willing to say that exactly but

DAVE: like in front of a huge crowd

DAVE: and also a television crew or six

KARKAT: OR MAYBE JUST IN FRONT OF JAKE ENGLISH?

KANAYA: Oh Dear Has Jane Recruited Jake

KANAYA: That Would Be Disastrous

KANAYA: He Is Beloved In The Troll Kingdom For His Perky Ass

DAVE: seriously?

KARKAT: I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT JUST ME!

KANAYA: It Has Some Terrible Arcane Power

KANAYA: I Have Never Seen Anything Like It

DAVE: well

DAVE: she doesnt have him yet

DAVE: but jane is one of his best friends so we gotta approach this with a scorched earth policy

DAVE: give him a whole cadre of sob stories thatll make him feel all manly and heroic for lending his support

DAVE: just gift wrapping babies for him to kiss

KARKAT: TROLL BABIES EVEN?

DAVE: sure that can be part of the deal he can kiss the first natural born grub right on its gooey lil head

KARKAT: WHILE GIVING DOUBLE PISTOLS AND A WINK TO THE CAMERA NO DOUBT.

DAVE: bam

DAVE: thats your reelection billboard right there

KARKAT: LET’S NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES HERE.

KANAYA: Of Course Not But This Definitely Has Potential

KANAYA: Have You Spoken To Rose Yet

DAVE: uh no

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: shes

DAVE: whats up with that anyway

DAVE: are you guys uh

DAVE: grub pregnant

KARKAT: DAVE WHAT THE FUCK

KANAYA: No

DAVE: its ok if you are we wont tell

KANAYA: No

KARKAT: DON’T YOU DARE DRAG ME INTO THIS GRAVE YOU’RE DIGGING FOR YOURSELF.

DAVE: cmon karkat dont you wanna be an uncle to a lil bundle of love and unnatural genetic tampering

KANAYA: No

KARKAT: WHAT EVEN GOES ON INSIDE YOUR HEAD THAT YOU JUST PRODUCE THIS ENDLESS, GUSHING SPATE OF ATROCIOUS WORD GARBAGE EVERY DAY?

DAVE: ok stop freaking out im just saying from what i understand of troll reproduction it would be technically possible for a troll and human to

KANAYA: No

DAVE: and with ectobiology anythings possible

KARKAT: OH MY GOD

KANAYA: Whatever Put You On This Unfathomable Train Of Thought

DAVE: i dunno its just unusual for rose to brush me off for our annual ecto sibling oversharing session

DAVE: shes been sick for a while

DAVE: either shes pregnant or i got reasons to be worried

DAVE: id be cool with it yknow

DAVE: bring on the rosemary combo grubs

KANAYA: Rosemary

DAVE: like rose plus your last name which is maryan or something right

KANAYA: Maryam

DAVE: yeah that

DAVE: ergo, rosemary

KANAYA: I Hate It

DAVE: the rosemary babies would have her hair and your horns or whatever

DAVE: like when two cartoon animals of different species give in to their lust and have preposterous children

DAVE: fucking adorbs

KANAYA: Im Going To Call My Wife And You Are Going To Stop Talking

DIRK: Hey,

DIRK: Sorry, but Rose can’t come to the phone right now.

KANAYA: Excuse Me

KANAYA: Dirk

KANAYA: Is That You

KANAYA: Dirk

KANAYA: Why Are You With Rose

KANAYA: What Is Going On

DIRK: Kanaya, I don’t have time to explain right now.

DIRK: John’s doing something vaguely important to the plot again.

KANAYA: Dirk...

KANAYA: What

DIRK: This is gonna have to wait.

KANAYA: Dirk

DIRK: I’m putting you on hold, ok?

KANAYA: DIRK!

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #dave strider #karkat vantas #kanaya maryam #dirk strider #meat epilogue #page 21

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iamalivenow · 5 years

Text

Martin: Hey don't mean to impose, could you pick up the creamer for the break room?

Tim: isn't this something that's supposed to be provided?

Martin: Oh- There's creamer- It's just. Very bad.

Tim: that cheap french vanilla shit?

Martin: Mmhm.

Tim: yeah sure.

Tim: wait, do you even drink coffee?

Martin: Well, no. But Sasha does. And Jon sometimes.

Tim: oh thank god.

Martin: What?

Tim: you went five minutes with out mentioning the boss.

Tim: i was sure prentiss got you again.

Martin: Oh fuck off Tim.

Tim: :p

------

🌩: Oh my god. Stop.

🍃: too good for Hand Written Invitations are we?

🌩: You send me one once a week. It's lost the pizzaz. It's lost the flavor.

🍃: you say this as if I have other people to go sky diving with

🌩: Of course you do! Everyone! Everyone is into free skydiving! Just don't bother asking first!

🍃: it's not the same with them

🍃: they just don't Get It

🌩: Oh my god.

🍃: you can even invite that cute Dead boy

🌩: Oh My God.

🍃: don't feel like you have to pretend for me

🌩: Stop. I'm begging you to stop.

🍃: all i'm saying is i Posed Nude for a lot of painters during the golden years

🌩: No one calls it that. Stop telling me about your childhood flings with Italians.

🍃: some of them were German.

🍃: and Flemish.

🍃: and there was this one Dutch boy.

🌩: Wait.

🍃: sure a bit Spiral for my taste but there's really nothing wrong with that either

🌩: Wait.

🍃: oh, Spiral's a sore spot for you huh

🍃: memory does Go first

🍃: something to look Forward too

🍃: well ignore that I Suppose but really, cross fear is totally acceptable.

🌩: You're exhausting.

🍃: i'm sure some people would argue but everyone does it Eventually

🍃: look at Peter Lukas.

🌩: They divorced like ten times.

🍃: but he keeps coming back to him, Doesn't He?

-------

Sasha: I might be a little late today.

Jonathan Sims: Don't worry about it.

Sasha: Cheers.

-------

👧: ლ(●ↀωↀ●)ლ so excited so excited so excited

🐛: HHHAAAHHHAAAHHHAAA WWWHHHYYY

🧒🏻: (ٛ⁎꒪̕ॢ ˙̫ ꒪ٛ̕ॢ⁎) why they say!!!

🐛: OOOHHH TTTHHHEEE RRRIIITTTUUUAAALLL

🧒🏾: (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞ i'm so excited i can barely stand it!!!

🐛: BBBUUUTTT IIITTTSSS NNNOOOTTT EEEVVVEEENNN YYYOOOUUURRRSSS

👦🏾: i know!!! that's what makes it stressful. but if you need ANYTHING ᕕ༼✿•̀︿•́༽ᕗ

🐛: HHHAAAHHHAAA IIILLL AAASSSKKK YYYOOOUUU FFFIIIRRRSSSTTT

👧🏼: ♪～(◔◡◔ิ)人(╹◡╹๑)～♪

🐛: WWWHHHIIICCCHHH OOONNNEEE IIISSS MMMEEE

👦🏿: the cute one ♫ ┌༼ຈل͜ຈ༽┘ ♪

-------

Jonathan Sims: Hey.

🌀: hEy

Jonathan Sims: Are you-

Jonathan Sims: [Is Typing]

Jonathan Sims: You know what. Never mind. I was going to ask you something stupid. It doesn't matter.

🌀: lMaO sUrE

-------

🍃: anyway, Enough about me

🍃: invite the cute Dead boy

🍃: it's so Romantic

🍃: the view Alone

🌩: Okay, first of all, we're just friends. Second of all, even if we weren't, I don't need dating tips from you.

🍃: Debatable.

🌩: Third of all. Even if I was gay, and even if Oliver was interested, and even if I asked him out on a date.

🍃: phenomenal hypotheticals lad.

🌩: What on Earth makes you think I'd invite you along?

🍃: hmm.

🍃: if i was a Lesser man, i would say something like

🍃: how dare You

🍃: my Own son

🌩: We're not related.

🍃: but! instead!

🍃: i can just point out the Space station i own

🍃: and call it a Day

-------

Jonathan Sims: Elias, call an exterminator. This is getting ridiculous.

Elias Bouchard: Jon, don't be ridiculous. You want to involve more humans with Prentiss' worms?

Jonathan Sims: I'm not even talking about the worms, which I would argue proves my point beyond all reason.

Elias Bouchard: What are you talking about then?

Jonathan Sims: I had to kill three spiders today Elias. Three.

Elias Bouchard: Yes, you're very brave Jon. I'm very proud.

Jonathan Sims: Are you in your office?

Elias Bouchard: No where else in the world I'd rather be, Jon.

-------

🕸️: hey oli

🕸️: no hard feelings right?

🕸️: we're still buds?

🕸️: still friends?

🕸️: still tight?

⚰️: Was that a pun

🕸️: it's not fun if you point it out kid

🕸️: keep up

🕸️: anyway listen, friend

🕸️: buddy

🕸️: pal

⚰️: What do i have to do to make this stop

🕸️: lmao thats the spirit

🕸️: could you be a doll and swing by the watcher's place?

⚰️: I'm not even in London

🕸️: so cute, i swear

🕸️: yeah you are.

🕸️: turn around bff

⚰️: Is it poisonous?

🕸️: i want you to look at that question

🕸️: think about who you sent it to

⚰️: What do you want

🕸️: just bring a box of lovers over

⚰️: A box of what

🕸️: i picked some little buddies out special

🕸️: mated pairs

🕸️: to really make it last for like

🕸️: forever

🕸️: do you know how many eggs a cellar baby lays?

🕸️: like thirty

⚰️: You know you could higher literal delivery men right

🕸️: and if a box of lovers has like 100 of these bad boys

🕸️: you know my little dudes live pretty long?

⚰️: Fine

🕸️: fuck yeah

🕸️: you're so cool oli

⚰️: Delete my number

🕸️: already gone

-------

: Are you concerned at all?

👁️: About what should I be concerned about? No please, tell me. God forbid there's a blind spot in my vision. Perish the thought.

: So you're aware of the situation?

👁️: Go ahead, I'm listening.

: ...I'm sure you're handling it.

👁️: Just like I handle everything else. By myself.

: Where did this bad mood even come from?

👁️: Well this sanctimonious prick texted me.

: You're allowed to pick your own Archivist.

👁️: If you were wondering what the divorce was about, it's this, we're here, we've arrived to the point.

: I'm not trying to condescend to you.

👁️: Spoken like someone about to start condescending.

: You're literally sitting on a nest, Elias.

👁️: Bold of you to assume I don't want it there.

-------

Tim: are you still mad?

Martin: ...No.

Tim: great uh, good.

Martin: I'm sorry for snapping.

Tim: no, it was a shitty joke. Sasha already told me off.

Martin: Oh thank god. I was sure Prentiss got you.

Tim: fair.

Martin: Apologizing on your own? Really had me worried.

Tim: alright alright, yes yes, get it out.

Martin: I already got it out.

Tim: you're better than all of us Martin.

-------

Sasha: Want to come over?

Tim: yeah sure.

Sasha: Bring some wine over, yeah?

Tim: long day?

Sasha: Oh, you wouldn't believe it.

Tim: try me.

Sasha: No, I mean, you literally wouldn't believe it.

Tim: really. try me. i'm down for anything.

Sasha: Yeah you are.

Tim: up top

Sasha: I'm already outside, Tim. I don't know how much higher you want me to get.

Tim: you have to come get me now actually i'm swooning too hard

Sasha: The things I do for casual work hookups.

-------

🐛: RRREEEAAADDDYYY???

👦: d(-_^)

🐛: CCCAAANNN YYYOOOUUU SSSEEEEEE IIITTT

🧒🏻: (๑´ڡ`๑三๑´ڡ`๑)

🐛: CCCUUUTTTEEE

👧🏻: i'm nothing if not (ฅ⁍̴̀◊⁍̴́)و ̑̑

🐛: JJJUUUSSSTTT WWWAAAIIITTTIIINNNGGG

🧑🏿: ʅ(｡Ő౪Ő｡)ʃ

🐛: :::)))

👰🏻: hey wait listen if you're just burning time...☆⌒ヽ(´ε｀ )

🐛: ???

👰: burn some time with me (((*☣ω☣(ε◕* )))

🐛: HHHAAAHHHAAA OOOKKKAAAYYY

👰🏿: ღ꒡ ᴈ꒡)♡⃛(꒡ε ꒡ღ

-------

Jonathan Sims: Stay away from any Michaels.

Martin: I don't think I know that many but I'll try my hardest too.

Jonathan Sims: Sasha had an experience earlier today.

Martin: Just one more thing to look out for.

Jonathan Sims: Stay safe tonight.

Martin: Will do. You too.

-------

Martin: [Screen Shot Sent]

Martin: Oh my god.

Tim: wow.

Tim: when's the wedding?

Sasha: Don't be a dick, Tim.

Tim: i'm being sincerely supportive of our coworker and his weird crush on the boss who lowest key hates him.

Tim: how am I being a dick?

Sasha: Tim.

Martin: I think that's the nicest thing he's ever said to me.

Tim: and you've even got it saved for posterity.

Sasha: Oh Martin.

-------

🍃: if you want to make it a double date, i've got Takers

🌩: I keep waiting for it to stop and it just doesn't.

🍃: you have to stay on “The Grind” as the kids Say

🌩: I can't believe I'm even entertaining this but who?

🍃: Peter's moping again.

🌩: No.

🍃: that's fine

🍃: didn't want to make out with him anyway

-------

⚰️: Done

🕸️: someone should promote you

⚰️: Can I ask why you call them that

🕸️: my chums?

⚰️: Yeah

🕸️: well

🕸️: The Mother spins her webs and her Children are all upon them

⚰️: and

🕸️: i guess

🕸️: in this analogy

🕸️: i'm a college drop out turned baby sitter

🕸️: just to make ends meet

🕸️: my life is so hard

🕸️: so trying

⚰️: So it's bitter

🕸️: huh?

🕸️: haven't you been paying attention oli?

🕸️: they're great kids

-------

🌀: yOu Up?

Jonathan Sims: Wholly and entirely against my will, but yes. Go ahead.

🌀: bOuGhT a FrIeNd A fIrE eXtInGuIsHeR. hE wAs De-LiGhTeD.

Jonathan Sims: [Is Typing]

Jonathan Sims: I don't know if I'm more mad about you kidnapping my employee or about that atrocity.

🌀: gotta love the hustle though

#the magnus archives #writing #full fic #long post #texting time

18 notes · View notes

pinksweatergettingbetter · 6 years

Text

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Alright, on to part three, where Phoenix’s big fat mouth gets Apollo and Athena into deep doodoo.

QUICK CHILDREN, INTO THE MANHOLE!

SDUFGDGSF YOU CAN ‘MOVE’ WHILE YOURE BEING CHASED

way to ruin the moooooood XD

well athena if its any consolation, smelling like a rotten egg will probably delight sadmad.

y’know. cause youre a putrid egg yolk.

“Once a rebel, always a rebel!”

apollo was never a rebel

you sent him back to America before he could do any rebelling.

>OH MY SNARK IS CONFIRMED BY APOLLO

oh everyone’s met up now

“It was like watching a pair of ostriches bury their heads in the sand”

the FUCK does that mean, Phoenix?!???

“dubious hovel”

whats wrong with athena? i thought she was huddling up in the corner because she saw something unnerving, then maybe because of all the sudden people there–– but it’s implying she’s disgusted by the shitty state of the place?

what, is Athena a germaphobe now??

“He said he hopes you’ll come back and take over this office someday.”

“M-me?”

“Those were his words! He might have been half-joking though.”

I’m not sure which I’m more offended by; the fact that Dhurke still assumed Apollo would make a shit lawyer, or the fact that Apollo does indeed take over. Spoilers. Haha.

“must’ve been because of you, dhurke!”

no it was because of Phoenix Wright because he was a cool guy, once upon a time. also because, unlike every other lawyer in the gotdamn series, Apollo just really friggin loves the law. He thinks lawyers are legit cool and he wanted to be one because he just happened to have a passion for litigating. He’s not a prop in your stupid story, he’s his own interesting person.

“Dhurke was never a hands-on kinda dad...”

you can motherfucking say that again, vore machine.

“...but not a day went by that he wasn’t thinking of ya. That much I’m sure of.”

yeah he sure was

thinking of the favours he could one day ask of him.

“Doesn’t get more paternal than that!”

Athena, you don't even have a dad. Your opinion on the subject is completely worthless.

“(Dhurke... And to think, I really did spend my days trying to forget you...)”

god apollo you don’t deserve this. you deserve trucy and klavier and thalassa (being an actual mom for once) HELL you deserve your ACTUAL, REAL DAD.

“The victim’s passport and any pictures of him were burned up in the fire. Without knowing his real name, no divination seance could be performed.”

So you’re telling me Jove brought every single glossy of himself into that blaze? And after the fire, nobody bothered checking the dental records on the corpse/asking where that neato musician from the other night went?

Once again, DDSOJ police, at their best. If there wasn’t a coverup involved, I’m gonna be pissed.

( My real dad... I was never really interested in learning about him. )

While this is a totally understandable and natural reaction... I really wish–– Actually, no; it’s best Apollo never learned that he once had a father who actually gave a fuck about him. That’d probably break his heart.

“As the son of the terrorist Dhurke, Nahyuta was expelled from the royal family.”

i.... why did Dhurke keep him in Koooraheen, anyway? He really couldn’t have sent him to a happier life in America with his half brother?

huh i think that face-palm is a new expression for Vore Machine. he almost looks reasonable.

“As his son, Yuty no doubt got the cold shoulder at every turn.”

amazing. not only was Apollo abandoned in America in some shit orphanage with zero contact from anything he knew as family, but Sadmad was forced to stay behind in a country that hated his guts. The perfect situation for both boys!!! No wonder they’re both so fucking grouchy all the time! Dhurke, you parental genius!

“Dhurke’s the kinda guy who can become fast friends with just about anyone!”

guess that explains the fandom popularity

“Lol come over n play some jams bro”

“Ok dawg is it chill if i bring my kid my wifes uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

“Yeah its cool I'm great with kids”

“tight”

“It’s like Dhurke’s done nothing but save me all my life” yeah... from messes he made.

“Jangly Justice”

god. i want to root for Jove but like. He looks like a tool, he sounds like a tool, his stage name is the tooliest thing ive ever heard...

originally this section was me ranting about how Thalassa would never have just ‘stopped looking for Apollo’ when she heard that Jove perished in the flames, since Apollo’s corpse was never found and the rebels were out looking for her to give him to her– but instead I’m just gonna leave you with ‘that excuse is mad weak and the writers need to try harder.’

“You should try on the jacket, Apollo!”

“Yeah, yeah!”

Look, I can excuse Athena, because she doesn’t know. But Datz knows its mold infested and disgusting. And he just finished talking about APollo’s tragic past. What the everloving fuck is up with this sicko?!

Also Athena, you can’t laugh at him wearing an eyepatch when he just got done wearing one all last year.

“I’d recognize those horns anywhere!”

“Is that really the only way anyone recognizes me?”

cue Phoenix harrumphing from the corner and brushing his spikes

yknow maybe ive mentioned this before but why /hasn’t/ the queen found the safe house? It’s Dhurke’s old law office; that’d be like, the first place I’d check. Its like wondering if Dumbledore’s Army is based in Hogwarts.

I mean I guess you could say the Queen assumes theyre not stupid enough to hide in their old main haunt but... they’re stupid. they’re really, really stupid. it’s been proven like 800 times.

so we just had a ladder convo about lizards?

also what do you mean geckos like to live in houses? i thought they just climbed around outside them. aLSO WHY ARE THEY EATING THEM

... I appreciate that it ended in a Bugs Bunny Switcharoo though.

...And Phoenix ends it with “theyre just a plain old lizard”

I guess Phoenix doesn’t know flowers or lizards.

i really don’t know why none of the revolutionaries think sadmad’s playing the long con. they’ve all just completely given up on him. what if he was pulling a snape??? they talk about trust and shit and yet none of them trust their own leader’s son? shameful.

“It seems like Gar’an has some serious leverage over him”

okay, they suspect he’s being controlled with some kind of blackmail... and yet do nothing to help him? they’re dumb enough to risk their lives doing something like that, but not compassionate or caring enough?? to their leader’s son???? what the fuck??????

aww i missed Beh’leeb. I hope she and her (born/ unborn? cannot tell if she’s pregnant or not) kid are doing ok.

“So she’s trying to help the revolution along... in her own special way!”

that sounds enormously patronizing phoenix, shut up. she’s pregnant and she has to deal with fucks like Datz running around blowing off firecrackers at government officials.

...youre giving the orb to datz.

ill eat my hat if nothing happens to it.

“We’ll attract undue attention if we go in too large a group”

oh also because youre dressed like baby’s first paint set but

“AAAH!!”

“Do you know something about this?” “Nope! Just felt like shouting is all.”

yes, this is definitely the guy who should hold onto the orb for you. also i presented the attorneys badge. guess he has nothing to say about apollo’s proof of profession, eh?

“Yeah... You’d think Nahyuta might’ve cut his old man some slack, but no.” Dhurke you thick son of a bitch

wow. one single flashback occurrence where Dhurke wasn’t a dick. Well, 1/1000 ain’t too shabby...

“What? You came to visit me and you didn’t even bring me a present?”

What, like your plate of ‘my son is NOT a failure” sushi, Dhurke ?

“But I’m not a rebel.”

“Don’t be ridiculous– You’re a member of the defiant dragons simply by being my son.”

HE’S NOT YOUR SON YOU FUCK

If you present him your attorneys badge he jokes about dying happy and apollo makes it explicit that he means via execution

dhurke. that means apollo would die too. stop fucking joking about him dying you prickwad.

Apollo: Hey Dhurke know anything about this necklace

Dhurke: OOOAAHHH!!! OHHH!! AHHH!!!!

Apollo: So thats a...

Dhurke: Hahahahah its a no son give it here

Apollo: Yeah ok i see nothing suspicious about that at all and i sure hope the secret behind it wasn’t important to this case or anything..........

me: jeez i hope that stupid necklace was the last thing we had to present

phoenix, appearance from god knows where: hey maybe ask about the hostage

me: bless you baby. also i forgot you were here

Phoenix: Sounds like the minister has someone you really care about, cause you totally obeyed everything he did.

i know what youre trying to excuse here SOJ staff but no, straight up lifting right out of JFA will never be ok.

“Is there a new lady in your life?” “WHAT?! DONT BE RIDICULOUS SON!”

I’m gay now! Hahaha. But seriously. Nobody wants to date Dhurke.

“Amara was the love of my life, but she’s gone now, and there will never be another.”

cue Dhurtz shippers furiously jamming their fingers in their ears and whistling

what the

fuck is happening

to his aRM

“You tensed up” HIS BROKEN ARM STARTED VEINING SO HARD THAT IT SHOWED RIGHT THROUGH LIKE 2 LAYERS OF CLOTH

THATS SOME KRISTOPH DEVIL HAND SHIT RIGHT THERE

JESUS CHRI

oh there’s something hidden in there THANK GOD THAT SCAREDTHE FUCK OUTTA ME

“Oh I see– so youre hiding a woman’s photo up your sleeve”

oh yeah, a 3D photo. that has bumpy bits. absolutely apollo.

“You don’t need to keep secrets like that from me– You’re an eligible bachelor now. But you’ll... introduce her to me at some point, right?”

this has that creepy ‘parent insists you have a crush on that one kid’ conversation vibe to it, especially since it’s not like Apollo ever had an attachment to Amara to make him see her as a mother; she was ‘dead’ before he could even walk.

“Mon dieu! Are you into younger women, Dhurke?!”

Athena,,,,,,,, athena,,,, Apollo,,,,, he’s

it’s

oh never mind.

“Heh heh. Dhurke, you old dog, you. You got yourself a younger lover.”

ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT, NO, NOT NEVER MIND. YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF AMARA. YOU KNOW WHAT AMARA LOOKS LIKE. YOU KNOW HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PAST AND PRESENT DHURKE BECAUSE THERES NO WAY HE COULD JUST RANDOMLY CUT HIS HAIR AND THEN HAVE IT GROW BACK THAT FAST.

I KNOW YOU THINK SHE’S DEAD BUT AT LEAST FUCKING SAY YOU THINK IT’S HER TWIN SISTER YOU UTTER UTTER NUMBSKULLS

“This is Amara before she died. If you look closer, you’ll see that I was younger, too.”

“Hey. You’re right.”

“Aww, that’s no fun.”

MY ULCERS ARE NO FUN BUT GUESS WHAT NEITHER IS LIFE

“Wait a second... Haven’t we seen this woman before?”

DAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH

GOOD FUCKING BALLS PLEASE PLEASE LET THEM BE TROLLING DEAR GOD AAHGGDFKAFAGF

i really love that photo though. everything about it is generally just really nice.

wait hang on. they. they just. they kept her around? after her fake assassination? they just–– WHERE YOU COULD GET A PHOTO OF HER?!

EXPLAIN–– THERE’D BETTER BE A GOOD EXPLAIN

“She was confined within the grounds, but she was fit as a fiddle.”

Ga’ran. Ga’ran. Ga’ran. You stupid, stupid, stupid bitch.

“She was being held under virtual house arrest, so I freed her, and we made a run for it.”

“Of course, we didn’t just proclaim it to the people so that they’d realize Ga’ran was a dirty bitch; that would have been way too easy hahaha.”

Ohhh I see. They didn’t know Ga’ran was the one who did it. Except Ga’ran was the one who kept her under house arrest and faked her death so... It’s pretty obviously her? Amara would know that by putting 2 and 2 together? But no... Apparently Amara was suspicious enough to suspect Dhurke of being the arsonist like Ga’ran said, but brave enough to ‘accompany him so she could ascertain the truth for herself.’

hey remember when i said brave. i meant stupid. she was stupid enough to go with someone she thought might have tried to kill her, completely unsupervised. though i guess you'd have to be that dumb to actually fall in love with Dhurke in the first place.

AH, and she was immediately recaptured. Because Dhurke sucks.

Waaaaait wait wait. How long and when did he ‘rescue’ her? The incident was 23 years ago, but Rayfa is 14– and Amara would need the usual 9 months to gestate– plus, the room she’s holding Rayfa in has the Defiant Dragons handbook in there, so it’s probably someplace of Dhurke’s––

Meaning there was a nine year gap but they still didn’t show her to the general public to depose gar– AGHHH. ITS ALL TERRIBLE!!!

“Apollo. We need to grill the queen about Amara when we have the chance.”

Hobo Nick’s ghost: Hey uhh me, that might get you uhhhhh murdered i thought we got over that after von karma tasered the shit out of u––

SOJ Nick: DOOOOHHOOOHOO I LIKE SOLVING MYSTERIESSS

Apollo: hey maybe the baby Amara’s holding is me.

Athena: Nah it’s too cute to be you.

Apollo: ....i just want to have proof that I’ve known the loving touch of a mother at least ONCE ATHENA OKAY???

“Hm? Oh... well, either way, it’s not you, son.”

yeah fuck you apollo the Sadmahdis only love their REAL children

also its Rayfa. it was in the safe next to Rafya’s letter; Rayfa basically identified it as herself when she saw it, it’s Rayfa.

Apollo: wow youre sure acting vague and suspicious about this; guess i’ll just accept it for what it is.

Dhurke: [tells apollo’s he's going to die and leave him fatherless again]

Apollo: [immediately assumes its another of Dhurke’s jokes because Dhurke’s jokes are horrible and always at Apollo’s expense]

phoenix: ...are you sick?

NICK

OH MY GOD

i shriek laughed

Apollo: [clearly emotionally distraught]

Dhurke: [continues to dance around the issue, thus prolonging Apollo’s suffering]

(Why is this happening now? Just when I was finally starting to feel like you really are my...)

HE DOESN’T DESERVE YOU, APOLLO

GET OUTTA THERE

So far Apollo hasn't said “i’m gonna do x and x and x, or die trying!” and honestly i know it’s a bit on the nose but it’s more true for this situation than any other ones it’s usually said in.

Dhurke: I’ve got a big secret

Apollo: You’ve been hiding something *ELSE* from me?

Dhurke: I’m afraid I can’t tell you what it is. I’d be betraying a certain someone if I did.

WHY DID HE EVEN BRING IT UP THEN!? WHY IS DHURKE JUST THE FUCKING WORST?!!!

“You’ll discover a truth that is hard to accept. But I know you. And I know you can handle the truth, no matter what it turns out to be.”

After all, you’re super great at accepting all the misfortune my existence has heaped upon you! Hahaha!!!

“Apollo... Are you okay?”

“...I’m fine.”

they ask you how you are, and you just have to say that you’re fine, when you’re not really fine, but you just can’t get into it b

h e r e c o m e t h e r e b e l s

and once again you have to manually move there.

action bomb over here from Vore Machine

also beh’leeb sweety youre doing amazing

“Dhurke belongs to the people!! Give him back!!!”

he what now

(sigh)

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................hi.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................sadmad...............................................................................................................................................................................

“They’ll be arrested? Just for protesting?!”

Apollo... you live in the real world, r–– oh well technically he doesn't hm

that point’s moot

“They are aiding and abetting a criminal by seeking his release”

uh pretty sure that’s BS yut

“Her Eminence, Queen Ga’ran, has ordered they be arrested and judged en-masse”

ok im fucking

I'm wheezing so bad not ONLY do we have to save a revolution and Dhurke the rebel leader, but we are now about to defend most of the population of an entire country at once. Stakes RAISED bro

good fucking lord apollo stop being all “weren’t you a defiant dragon once?!wehh!!”

even Phoenix, with his Edgeworth obsession, didn’t really question it when Edgeworth was being his shithead prosecutor self.

Nahyuta: Sigh. Guess I can’t escape you. I mean I could use my magic beads to tie you up and then prance off but i have a plot to advance.

“Enough with the zen monk act, Nahyuta– Tell me how you really feel!”

Damnit, Sadmad, it’s not like we have someone who can read emotions by listening to-– oh yeah.

“She’s being held in secret where nobody is allowed to see her.”

second time’s the charm!

Apollo, simply bringing up the reason he’s doing what he’s doing won’t get him to stop. Remember the Phoenix and Maya situation? Until you can guarantee her safety, Sadmad’s just going to keep steam rolling along.

OH FINALLY

ok athena dish the dirt

alright, here we go, folks. time for Nick to get all their asses killed. i mean just listen to that ominous music :/

i love her laugh sprite.

“a lawyer AND a comedian, HOW DROLL”

the royal guards weird me out a bit though. its those masks. I'm getting high lady gaga gives

lady gagaran

Apollo: better give her evidence to burn–– i mean, jog her memory with some evidence.

Ghost of hobo nick: future me!! stop this!! don’t you remember what always used to happen?!

SOJ Phoenix: DOOOHOOOHOOO WE GOT HER NOW, APOLLO!

...........that worked

....no it didn’t. just spring you damn trap already, gagaran.

Apollo: Hm better not tell the people, that could stir up the revolution and actually make it happen. Especially since there might be REAL terrorists hiding out there, just waiting until someone goes, “Hey, that dead queen isn’t really dead!!”

lol

something went wrong?? no way

“Eeeek! Apollo! Don’t strip here!!!”

why is athena such a ditz in this case???

I HEARD A BELT

wow. apollo’s ass canonically bared in AA6

klavier gavin cries a million miles away

“HE WASN’T HIDING THE BULKY ASS ORB IN HIS CLOTHING, YOUR EMINENCE”

“damn i really thought he was hiding it in his skintight pants and vest. also ignore the other two, they couldn’t possibly have it.”

oh lord pls don’t hurt rayfa

“Your mind has been poisoned by the barbed one.”

“It was an honour and pleasure, your eminence”

phoenix i know that was highly badass and all but youre literally sitting pretty to be executed

“”””discipline””””

“Well, Apollo, let’s head back to the safe house for now.”

yes, just in case any spies follow us! so that the queen can get her hands on the orb that much fast!!

oh hi edgeworht, youre in this game

WOO YOU TELL’EM EDGEY

DOWN WITH PLUMED PUNISHER!! DOWN WITH PLUMED PUNISHER!! DOWN WITH PLUMED PUNISHER!!

“Moving along to things that actually matter...”

it’s true, but he shouldn’t say it

“Yeah, it’s like the more we learn about this case, the less we understand.”

just like me and this game’s writing process

“A trial without evidence...”

there’s evidence, you wankers, what do you think that photo of amara, the old case files and the necklace are????

“Athena, you’re too young and extra to die. Sit this trial out so we can save on sprite space.”

“Gotcha, chief.”

“Plus, there’s prosecutor Blackquill to think of. he said he’d use me for sword practice if he put you in harms way.”

Yeah, if Athena dies, who’ll his new punching bag be??? don’t think i haven’t forgotten story teller. i will not forget. i will not forgive.

“Remember; the worst of times are when lawyers have to force their biggest smiles.”

ugh, finally it’s used semi right.

And so, we come to the end of another frustrating chapter. It’s finally time to move on to the final trial. I’m actually kind of curious to find out how everything went down– though something tells me my suffering won’t end when i do.

Welp, friends – till next time. The final hurdle is at hand. Or at least, part one of it.

#sulking over SOJ #ooc #we're almost done... just the final trial still to go...]#spirit of justice spoilers #soj spoilers

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changji · 5 years

Note

There’s a limit for when you’re in school but in summer I can do whatever I want bc it’s a Free Country 🤪 u miss are not allowed to get sick u hear me or else I will personally fly to cali & nurse you 😤 A STARBUCKS DRINK FOR $4.85 EYE- THAT’S SO GOOD WTFF I DON’T THINK I’VE PAID LESS THAN $5 FOR A DRINK THERE. You’re really out here like that

Ah I forgot to say how often I climb but I usually try for 3+ times a month bc the gym is pretty far away (by far i mean 2 different buses & an hour of crying). When I first started I was being taught how to tie a figure 8 knot (which is the most important one you need so you don’t die) and i couldn’t fucking get it right so the instructor had to go over it 193837 times & was getting annoyed @ me. LOL I couldn’t look him in the eye at all and my face had never been redder that day lmfao

At least ur teachers like you. I’m like that one student that never says anything and just sits there with an rbf so idk what my teachers think of me LOL. Half the time they don’t know I’m there. I got marked absent a couple times before but i was there in class 😤😤 ohh that’s cool. Band season runs the entire year for my school but that’s probably bc it’s a credit course. Newborn babies kinda are, it’s when they reach a couple months old they become cute

LOL how do you pronounce breakfast? I say salmon with the L & I get hated on by everyone. Taeyomi was great but changji is even better. Like changbin + jisung? Genius. Legends Only. Jkhsdiweiihfew I’m glad my url has an impact on ur daily life 🥵🥵 languages are so hard, I’m literally illiterate in every single one ik. Ikr? Our names are so easy like how do u mispronounce arella? One time someone spelt my name as Adly and I wanted to Perish

The chance the skip 2 math levels? Once again ur a genius legend. I could never esp w math holy moly. Okay dark ones it is!! I was thinking either the 1st or 2nd ones? Which do u like more? Ah new friends. The first weeks are always so awkward bc you don’t really know them well so you don’t know how much of urself you wanna expose (or it’s just me. I’m too much of a crackhead apparently). Wait a moment. Do you have multiple buildings at ur school like a uni campus??

Make out spots at my school is this one sketchy stairwell where all the scary ppl are. The whole school just smells like weed bc 90% of the school are potheads. Alright that’s the deal if we die we die together 😤 I have never heard of bathroom portables before,, those sounds so Extra. Are they like a porta potty? Omg speaking of older grades a bunch of girls who graduated last year came to my work & I was like “oh shit lol ik u all this is awkward”

Oof I’m the older sister so like. Favouritism never works in my favour. My sister will literally start a fight w me but I’m the only one who gets lectured in the end. Like. Bitch u started this 😤 I’m on the older side out of my cousins so I’m just Ignored 😪 I’m placing my bet on 2k words right now for our convos

ah makes sense, i thought there was a time for summer too but it might just be here or i’m dumb 😔 I CANT AFFORD TO GET SICK MISSING ONE DAY OF SCHOOL WILL NOT HELP ME AT ALL ! but thank u for ur concern miss, u should just fly to cali anyway 😪 myb i’ll go to u can i hitchike from here ?? IT IS SO GOOD ITS AMAZING IT WAS SO CHEAP but the drink was super sweet 🤢 i have converted back to normal lattes with no syrup. peet’s is usually 5.20 for my drink and it’s so strong i don’t need extra shots ☺️

3 times,, a month,, i go to the mall like 3 times a week, look @ u being so athletic! tbh i sound lame but i’ve never taken a bus (other than a school bus for field trips) before like. buses here are lowkey sketch but it’s mostly college students. i rely on my parents and uber 🤧 sometimes i walk but. i don’t like to but if i have to i will oop. it takes an hour to get there and an hour back then right? i can’t imagine bro omg i’d just die. i know how to knot my shoelaces and never being able to untangle them so i now wear slip ons 🤪 poor ada, were like the same person but that was me when i took a knitting class for some reason and couldn’t do any of it 😪

okay idk if i told u yet but my ap euro teacher asked who’s been to italy so i raised my hand, he asked how it was and i said “the gelato is rly good” and his face was just. utter disappointment. turns out he was asking abt the art but he didnt clarify it and we weren’t even talking abt art so now i’m known as That Girl 😔 it’s hard to miss me oop, if it’s quiet then i’m sleeping & all my teachers last year knew this 😪 how do u get marked absent?? i wish band was a credit course but it’s only extra curricular 😔 are ur teachers snakes i will Step on them. newborns look fake but yeah they get cute when they’re like half a year old.

like. brek-fust by my friends says brek-fist like it’s more of a u sound than an i but go off u idiots. salmon with the L,, ada,, no,, if u say carmel instead of caramel i’m gonna riot. ugh thanks bro i was lucky someone gave me this url, but nohyuckclub? aka the author of the most legendary mark lee social media au? A Whole Legend, but treerachas? my absolutely fave 🥺 languages are dumb i don’t know english i don’t know spanish my vocab consists of sksk and i oop, and that’s it. HOW DO U MISPRONOUNCE ADA LIKE. when i saw ur name i was like ay-da not ah-da, ppl need to learn bro it’s just said how it’s spelled. AND PERISH LOL I LOVE THE WORDS U USE

i’m actually dumb tho i just hate math oops, i’m more of a lunch kind of person if u know what i mean 😉 JK IM GROSS STOP ME and i like the 2nd one (the red one right? idk it’s all pretty u choose) i don’t wanna expose myself but it happens bc i’m just naturally a crackhead oops. but yeah we have multiple buildings! my campus is pretty small tbh? compared to other schools we’re really small, there’s like 2k kids here and i wanna die. it’s so crowded in the halls like get away from me u smelly thot. we have 3 buildings connected by 3 hallways, and a few other ones like the science buildings, music room, portables, 2 gyms and classrooms. in total i think there are 10 buildings? how’s ur campus like?

do you have one big building or smth? in my middle school had stairs and. stairs aren’t fun i hate them. if people kissed on the stairs everybody would hate them bc they’re blocking the halls LOL. we have our legendary D wing bathrooms where people smoke its so funny how often i got offered a roll,,, people straight up vape in class its so funny. but yeah a porta party. disgusting 🤢 in my head that’s what i call it LOL, a portable bathroom… i hate when i see people from school or just. ppl in general, did they recognize u?

U SPELL FAVORITISM WITH A U THATS SO WEIRD FUCKING AMERICA but im lowkey spoiled (highkey) but i. don’t pick fights, its my brother who does that LOL, he gets lectured tho so,,, not my problem oops i have a lot of cousins but we split it when we were younger so its wrong but teens (now adults but still called teens), kids (now teens but still called kids), and the adult adult cousins (which is the only correct one LOL) but i fit into the kid category so,,,, also we have almost 20k im literally SCREAMING, including this we’re at 20,712 words im-

#ADA WE'RE THE WORST #KEEP READING AGAIN BC WE SUCK #queen ada 💞#mutuals #asks

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yourstrulyzerotwo · 6 years

Text

this is going to be me ranting to myself about stuff, nothing specific about anyone i talk about is talked about on here. only family members, no friends involved. don’t reblog, but liking and commenting is fine

so one of my parents very stingy about my school work as it is the only thing important to them and its very annoying, as they try to take over all my weekend and week even though i am at the other parent’s house.

my parents are divorced and have been more 99% of my life just as some backstory.

this one parent who is very stingy just told me that i will be spending my weekend with them AGAIN for the FOURTH TIME IN A ROW and all i will be doing is studying. i usually have my other parent for one weekend and then the stingy one the next. its on and off. and that the stingy parent wants me to spend so much fucking time with them and all i am doing is working with my math tutor and studying pisses me off to no end. and this weekend is fucking 3 day weekend. like what the fuck k thx i totally love u too.

god i just, was really excited for this weekend cuz i was going to be able to at least enjoy myself for part of the weekend while my non-stingy parent wouldnt be so harsh about the studying. i was SO SO SO SO HAPPY when i learned i was going to be able to be with not my stingy parent and THEN my stingy parent decided last minute to be like “hey daughter let me take away this happiness” and im just like WOW IM SO HAPPY K COOL.

there so much sarcasim in that, its crazy. i really just want to break down and not do what im told and just stay with my non-stingy parent but that would end horribly as i would lose my computer, phone and anything i hold dear.

my stingy parent is always like ‘this is for your benefit” and im just like “whatever you say even though you annoy the living fuck out of me and are just a complete pain in the ass.

during the phone call i had with them about an hour ago about learning i was about to hate this weekend, i gave off the “i hate this and thx for making me depressed” attitude, they were like “well this is better then paying bills and everything gets worse from here on out” really made me more depressed and upset because thats just saying “there is no reason to keep living if everything is getting worse” like wow i love everything THANKS PARENT. wOOOOW! god its so FRUSTRATING

now im going to go perish because i hate everything

#shiki is annoying stop her #sorry i ranted

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themaryiestsuetoeversue · 7 years

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so i’ve been slightly sparse lately due to a multitude of things - work got busy again and after work i’m just too tired to do anything, allergies kicking up again, chronic health issues, other things taking up my mind like video games and tabletop games, dumb anxiety about how my cat is getting older and HIS potential health problems etc.

but there’s also a little tiny part of me that like....how do i put this without sounding like an ass...fuck it, i’m gonna sound like an ass. my actual partners willing to interact with me has dwindled. and i don’t mean mutuals and friends going on hiatus, that’s okay - because i KNOW those people will always interact no matter how long it takes.

what i mean is i keep trying to like, branch out into new partners and nobody seems to be reciprocating? like i just had to cut an entire verse yesterday because it hadn’t been used in THREE MONTHS and it seemed like nobody was interested and if nobody is interested why bother keeping it around.

and like that anon earlier, please don’t take this the wrong way because i am happy you like reading but it just make me wonder: am i only good enough to read but not good enough to actually interact with? if it sounds like i am vagueblogging about specific people, don’t worry, i’m not because this has happened CONSISTENTLY, things like i ask someone if they want a starter, THEY SAY YES, i make one, never gets a reply. opens of mine never going answered. me sending in memes that never get answered, me making threads out of memes that never get replied to. sometimes threads - especially threads with actual plot, not dumb ones - will just get dropped after like 2 replies. people i follow not following me back - acceptable - but then their rules never mention if they’re mutuals only or not and every attempt to just INTERACT gets ignored.

i don’t KNOW where the line is with regards to bugging someone ooc about rp related things i so i just...don’t do it and the way it seems, that’s a good choice because i’m not sure people would give me answers anymore, even to ims which are impossible to get eaten. and i will fully fucking admit that i used to just ignore people i had no interest in and hope they get the hint and go away out of fear of what they’d do if i said no. i know that was a dick move and if i ever did it to you i am SO SO sorry. because getting radio silence from people is like...when people don’t give me an answer, my first thought ISN’T that they aren’t interested, it’s any other mundane explanation for why i haven’t got a response. i don’t take hints very well, you have to be UPFRONT with me. actual communication, PLEASE.

like i love my rp partners to death but when only a small number actually INTERACT WITH ME, it gets kind of like...like, i know there’s more people out there who can be really cool and have really neat ideas but i don’t even know how to get out there? am i doing something wrong that’s putting tons of people off because if so, i need to know so i can stop doing it? i don’t HAVE that level of self awareness sometimes to recognize mistakes when i make them.

i haven’t made a promo in a while because last time it didn’t go very far. i’m wondering why i should even bother with a new one.

and fyi even for those that drop threads a lot, as long as i rp with you consistently and see you replying to threads and sending me memes, thats not the problem. for people who -I- owe replies to, the issue is me, not you (and once life gets less hectic and i get over this irrational complex we will be back in business, i promise.) it’s trying to interact with NEW people that’s the issue. i have 9 drafts right now. 5 are with the same person. Of my 3 verses, i have a grand total of like 2 regular consistent partners for VAMPAU, 4 for JAPANAU, and the rest are POKEAU, with the same person overlapping for all 3 verses. (two of those partners for vampau and japanau, respectively, are not mutuals with me, because i don’t have a mutuals only rule, and yet they still show obvious interest that other people clearly aren’t??? what gives?)

I just...I want to EXPAND and yet I am forced to DOWNSIZE from lack of activity. I used to shoot out tons of replies a day and now I just get so little interaction back that my pace slowed down. I can only be as active as my partners are. (again, i understand being busy, i don’t hold it against you, this is just generalization.) Writing is a perishable skill and lately all my skills have been either stagnating or declining (esp reading comprehension.) I don’t want to lose this one too, which has been a big part of my life, and yet i can’t maintain it that well if nobody interacts with me. (rp has improv elements that solo writing does not have, plus the social interaction aspect.)

i guess i just...i know nobody is ever obligated to give reasons - and i know my blog isn’t for everybody, which is okay! just, holy shit, if you want nothing to do with me, tell me at the very least? and a reason would actually be pretty helpful so i could know what i am doing to supposedly alienate people? thanks.

#ooc #negative #sorry for the rant guys i just #blargh #negativity #that covers all the blacklist right?#long post #its not under a cut because i WANT people to see this

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