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#and i might genuinely do that once i have access to velcro
justablah56 · 1 year
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*shaking even more violently* what the shit. what the fuck. w ww. h at
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thepartyresponsible · 5 years
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Oh man! With the alt title being Jason Todd is not a stripper, I'm deffinatly interested!
(context for the morning crowd: i’m finishing up asks from the WIPs meme, and this ask is about corporate espionage, which is alternatively titled jason todd is not a stripper.)
okay, so the premise of this absolutely ludicrous caper is that jason todd is in a competition with tim drake to steal stark industries files. jason, being jason, breaks into stark tower and wanders right into a drunk tony stark, who very rationally assumes he’s a stripper.
here’s a snippet:
Jason has very diligently cultivated an insistently blissfulignorance about the shit-match going on between Wayne Enterprises and StarkIndustries. The Bats have been gossiping about it for weeks, but Jason’s noheir, so he doesn’t give a damn about Bruce’s legal troubles. It isn’t hisproblem until he offers, jokingly, to terrorize some of the higher-ups at SI,and Tim stares at him like he was a zoo animal.
“It’s really not that kind of problem,” he says, finally.“If we need someone brutalized, we’ll call you.”
And so, after that, Jason, who hasn’t been interested in Wayne Enterprises since his untimelydeath took him out of the will, is suddenly dedicated to solving the problem.Or at least dedicated to putting himself in a position where he could solve it if he wanted to and thenwalking away, because, after all, fuck Bruce, fuck Wayne Enterprises, and fuckTim, in particular.
There are any number of layers to this corporate dustup.Jason can’t make himself care about most of them, since they are, objectively,really fucking boring.
As far as he can tell, accusations of corporate espionageare being batted around from both sides, and the most damning evidence consistsof some surfaced SI schematics that look alarmingly similar to somethingWayneTech developed in one of its most locked-down research institutes.
The WayneTech project predates the SI developments bysomething like three months, but SI insists the weapon is its own and hassubmitted – no shit, as actual evidence –a coaster from a Vegas strip club. Allegedly, the coaster has an early draft ofthe project drawn on it, and, as the coaster also clearly lists the dates ofupcoming themed evenings, it can be dated back to at least four weeks beforethe WayneTech project started development.
Jason had no idea corporate work sometimes involved Vegasstrip clubs. If Bruce had ever bothered to mentioned that, Jason could’ve beenbrought on board years earlier.
For now, though, the plan seems to be that Tim’s going tohack his way into some hideously well-protected system in Stark Tower and scareup some useful files.
Normally, when Jason’s trying to one-up Tim in the techworld, he just goes to Oracle and sweet-talks her into helping.  But this time, she turns him down flat.“Can’t do it, Jay,” she says, sounding genuinely apologetic. “I’m supposed tostay out of this one.”
“Babs, c’mon. Did Drake threaten you? I can shoot himagain.”
“Please don’t. And it wasn’t Tim. Sorry, Jay, but this ordercomes from a little above your paygrade.”
“Goddamn interfering old man.” Bruce gets so shifty about a little competitionbetween Robins. Enforces rules, keeps the others out of it. Like he has to testthem against each other periodically so he knows which one to weaponize whenthe time comes.
It’s bullshit. Tim outclasses him in the tech arena so badlyit’s almost embarrassing. But, over the years, Jason has gathered that havingphysical access to a system can make gaining digital access a hell of a loteasier. So he leaves Tim to hunch spiderlike over his laptop and grabs hisbike, takes a trip to New York.
Getting into Stark Tower is annoying. The security isn’t aggressive so much as it’s obnoxiouslythorough and high-tech. Jason can get in, no problem, but getting in without beingrecorded is a damn nightmare. Fortunately, Jason’s been breaking into Bruce’sbuildings to appropriate necessary supplies for years.
It still takes him the better part of a two days to find away in. It involves an inelegant total of two full costume changes, and he hasto hide in an elevator shaft for three hours, waiting for the security toswitch shifts.
It’s a mess. He won’t be bragging about this part to anyone.
The point is, he gets in.
That first night, he doesn’t even plan to look for files.He’s just looking for an easier way back in. His plan is either to capitalizeon the routes the cleaning staff use, which will require getting some kind ofidentification and probably a keycard, or to gain access to the penthouse. Thepenthouse will undoubtedly be a bitch to get into but, once accessed, shouldopen up the whole tower. Security, in Jason’s experience, doesn’t run backwardsvery well.
He tries the penthouse first. As far as he knows, Stark isalmost never here, which means security might be obligingly lax. And, sureenough, as soon as Jason steps into the private elevator, it hums welcominglyand starts taking him up. There’s a chance, of course, that the doors won’topen once he gets there, but he’s reasonably confident that he can cope withsomething as simple as recalcitrant elevator doors.
But he encounters no problems. The doors open smoothly onthe penthouse floor. And Jason thinks this whole thing is going easier thananticipated, thinks he’ll be in and out of here in forty-eight hours.
And then he notices the man on the couch.
It’s a nice couch. The sort of thing some interior designerwould order for Bruce, when he’s in one of his intimidating black leather phases. Bruce probably wouldn’t orderthe man, but, then, Jason’s never been too clear on Bruce’s type.
He’s lean and brunette, which sort of fits Bruce’s profile,but he’s also very clearly drunk, which does not. The man stares at him for along moment, lazily assessing him without any hint of concern or alarm. Hedoesn’t even bother to lift his head off the back of the couch.
“Stripper or felon?” he asks, after several long seconds of contemplation.He slurs it, but only a little.
“Uh,” Jason says. He considers strategizing, but then thinksfuck it and steps out of theelevator. “I have to pick a favorite?”
The man snorts and waves a hand his direction. “You show up.You’re wearing leather. Face and shoulders like that, you’re either here tobreak things or take your clothes off. So. Stripper or felon?”
“Well,” Jason says, “I don’t have any music. So.”
“Not a problem.” The man tips his head back to look at theceiling. “JARVIS, play something sexy. And maybe call the cops. Standby on thatsecond one. They always ruin a party.”
“Yes, Mr. Stark,” says a disembodied voice.
Immediately, music starts playing from hidden speakers.There’s definitely enough bass to qualify as sexy, but Jason’s not sure thebeat’s right for stripping.  
He opens his mouth to point this out, but the man’s faster.“No, JARVIS. Slower. There are buttons involved. Not everything’s zippers andVelcro. Jesus.” He looks at Jason and shrugs. The music shifts to something ata more reasonable tempo. “I try to tell him. But human sexuality’s kind of anobjective thing. He’s working on it. We’re working on it.”
“You, uh.” Jason’s having trouble with this one. “You fuckyour ceiling robot?”
“My what? Probably.” He shrugs, unconcerned, and thensuddenly blinks and grimaces. “Wait, no. JARVIS? No. God.”
Jason shifts, tries to follow. “But you’re working on humansexuality together?”
“In a sort of studious, very platonic—JARVIS, I don’t wantto fuck you.”
“I know, sir.” The robot voice sounds, somehow,long-suffering.
The man nods and pushes himself up so he’s not sprawledquite so haphazardly across the couch. “Hey, weren’t you getting naked?”
He sounds so certain, so absolutely convinced that this isthe next step in their interaction, that Jason’s hands go to his jacket’szipper of their own volition. “What?” he says, and stops himself. “No. Hell,no. I walk in here, and you tell me to get naked? What the hell? Who raisedyou?”
“Oh, shit. Sorry.” He smiles at him, in a kind of sweetly embarrassed,I’m drunk, bear with me way, and thenfumbles in his pants. “Pay first?”
“Yeah, sure,” Jason says, laughing a little as he makes hisway across the living room. He can already tell this is going to be one ofthose stories that makes Grayson cry fromlaughing so hard. “You gotta pay me first.”
He watches Stark pull a handful of bills from his wallet anddrop them casually on the coffee table. Jason doesn’t bother to count, but it’supwards of $500.
Christ, he thinks,maybe I’m in the wrong profession.
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davidanderson7162 · 3 years
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gethealthy18-blog · 4 years
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The Best Natural Cleaning Products for a Spotless Home
New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/the-best-natural-cleaning-products-for-a-spotless-home/
The Best Natural Cleaning Products for a Spotless Home
Here’s a confession no one will be surprised by: I am a total neat freak. Actually, I should say clean freak because I’m far more likely to spend an hour scrubbing the floors than folding my clothes or organizing my closet. It’s no secret I love things clean…a habit I 100% attribute to my Mom who is meticulous with her cleaning.
Now let me be clear: there is not such thing as a spotless home. I do my very best to keep things tidy but I’m human and life happens so having a perfectly clean home is never going to be my number one priority nor does it need to be. BUT I do feel genuinely happy and more at ease in a clean home so it’s something I make a point of keeping up with. And given how passionate I am about natural beauty, it’s only natural I also choose to use natural cleaning products for my home. So I thought I would spend this post breaking down why I use natural cleaning products, my cleaning schedule and the best natural cleaning products I’ve found on the market.
Why clean your home with natural cleaning products?
If you want to take a peek at the products you’re currently using to clean your home, head to the Environmental Working Group website and search for those products! They will rank each product with a grade of A-F where F=failing. The EWG takes into account the effects the harsh chemicals have on our respiratory system, skin irritation, developmental and reproductive toxicity, cancer concerns and environmental impact. It’s pretty startling to look at popular cleaning products. Not only are natural cleaning products better for your health, they’re also better for the environment. Flushing toxic chemicals down the drain pollutes our waterways and many conventional cleaning products are made with ingredients that are toxic, hazardous, non-biodegradable, as well as from non-renewable resources like petroleum that adversely affect our ecosystems.
Do natural products actually clean?!
YES!! Yes, yes, yes. I understand why people think you need the worst smelling, most intense cleaning products to thoroughly clean your home but the truth is, the non-toxic counterparts are just as effective if not more. Some traditional cleaning products can leave behind a residue that can build up over time and actually can collect more dust and dirt. Many are also intensely anti-bacterial and there are long-term side-effects to constantly wiping out the microbiome of your home. We need a healthy amount of bacteria to prevent illness so it’s time to ditch the bleach.
How to Transition to Non-Toxic Cleaning Products
Even though you might look up your cleaning products and want to toss everything instantly and switch, my advice is the same as transitioning to green beauty – you don’t have to do it all at once. As you run out of a certain cleaning product, swap to a non-toxic option. One of the best solutions I found for making the switch is Branch Basics. I was actually sent their cleaning kit a year and a half ago and had such a hard time believing that it could actually be effective that I left it collecting dust. I’ve since broken out the entire kit and given all the products a try. I like 90% of them and what makes them especially great is that you can reuse the bottles! All you’ll need to do is repurchase the cleaning concentrate and refill the bottles with the appropriate ratio of concentrate to water.
FYI: this post is NOT sponsored by them. I’ve since become an affiliate for them because of how impressed I am with many of their products, but as you’ll see below I also use a lot of other brands. Just wanted to mention them as they are a great starter kit for anyone wanting to switch to natural cleaning products.
Alright let’s jump into the products I use to clean my home naturally.
Let’s Get Cleaning
Branch Basics Products
I did want to highlight the products I use from branch basics first because there are several of them. As I mentioned above, Branch Basics has a starter kit for $59 which includes their all-purpose cleaning spray, bathroom spray, streak-free spray and hand soap bottles and cleaning concentrate. You simply fill the bottles to the appropriate line with water and top with the cleaning concentrate. When you finish a bottle you just refill it with water and the concentrate. It helps to reduce waste by reusing the bottles and saves you money by only needing to repurchase the concentrate. Here are the products I love:
All-Purpose Cleaning Spray
All-Purpose Bathroom Spray
Streak-Free Window + Mirror Cleaner
Hand Soap
I will add that I have tried their laundry detergent and didn’t love it and have also tried to use their concentrate for other uses such as dish washing and didn’t love that either. But for the products above it is truly exceptional and affordable – the concentrate has only halfway through and I’ve used it for 6 months!
As for all the other products we use for non-toxic cleaning, I’ve listed them below. Keep in mind, these are not all perfect. Switching to natural cleaning products is a process for me and until some of the cleaner ones become more effective I’m sticking with this middle ground. When possible we order big refill bottles and reuse the original ones.
Laundry Detergent: Baby Organics Laundry Detergent (yes I use baby detergent!)
Dishwasher Detergent: Seventh Generation Detergent or Whole Foods Natural Dishwasher Detergent
Dish Soap: Mrs. Meyer’s Dish Soap
Toilet Bowl Cleaner: Method Toilet Bowl Cleaner
Floor Cleaner: Method Floor Cleaner (with this reusable floor wipe)*
*We were able to reuse our old swiffer mop by putting velcro on the top and sides of the resusable wipe as shown below.
DIY All-Purpose Cleaner
I did want to add that it is very easy to make your own DIY All-Purpose Cleaner at home. The reason I don’t use it is because I am particular and REALLY don’t like the smell of vinegar. Yes, you can use essential oils to mask it but my nose knows everything. However if you are on a budget this is a great option for you and can easily be refilled reducing your waste.
First thing you need to know is that vinegar should be diluted with water in a 1:4 ratio. So for 1/2 cup of white vinegar you will use 2 cups of water. The skies the limit when it comes to essential oils but the most effective for cleaning are lemon, peppermint and lavender.
Here’s a recipe for DIY All-Purpose Cleaner:
1/2 cup of white vinegar*
2 cups of water
2-3 drops of lavender essential oil
2-3 drops of peppermint essential oil
Combine everything in a glass spray jar and shake. Spray on counter and wipe clean with a dish cloth.
*Note: if you are very sensitive to the smell of vinegar, I recommend infusing it with citrus peels and/or herbs for a week or two before straining to remove materials. Use infused vinegar in place of white vinegar above.
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douchebagbrainwaves · 7 years
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HOW TO INVESTORS
At our end, money is almost by definition an attention sink. When new mail arrives, it is exciting to them. Few are the sort of person who has them. When a startup launches, it will be a whole step behind, like those that made up the language itself. Now that route is closed. Hacking What should you do in the movie business will dry up, and made up by people no different from you. These are the kind of problems we deal with. And so you do, and in most of Europe it's not. If the number of startups that can succeed, regardless of how many are started.
Finally, here is an example of a spam that gets through the filters. Only later did he start to ask questions instead of merely thinking That's an interesting idea. When a friend of mine asked Ryan about this, because there's an infrastructure that prevents such a staircase from being built. Reading Period, when students have no classes to attend because they're supposed to be doing something else; and though businesses, their founders often know nothing about business. Most of the questions people ask Y Combinator we have some kind of Web access, and all you'll be able to get into a good college you're concentrated together with a lot of middle class kids, getting into a good college. Object-oriented abstractions map neatly onto the domains of certain specific kinds of programs we may need some new things; if a psychologist met a colleague from 100 years ago, fascinating and urgently needed work. To beat Bayesian filters, it would not have been a prudent choice. The place to start looking for ideas is things you need. It generally takes a personal introduction with angels. In software, a problem that was intrinsically international.
Graduation Speech, the theme of which is: don't give up on your dreams. And not only in intellectual matters. As well as preventing you from being intimidated, ignorance can sometimes help you discover new ideas. The most overreaching employee agreement I've seen so far is soccer. In the old days, the standard m. It seems strange to have to pay for Facebook. Mistakes are natural. There are a couple pieces of good news here.
Most dictionaries say hapless means unlucky. As far as I can tell these are universal. It doesn't seem critical to have the time and the inclination to build things in the right place and you've made this beautiful portrait. We'll have to worry about novelty as professors do or profitability as businesses do. I could rewrite the language if I wanted. Depending on your audience, there are a lot of startups—imagine how much less Larry and Sergey, for example, does not imply that you have solicited ongoing email from them. And so if you can make something that will appeal to future generations, one way or another it will be to look around you for things that seem to be missing. Similarly, since the most successful founders make that clear. It's not going to generate ideas as well as they were ever going to be working for them. How much do we have to remember that it's an admirable thing to write great programs, even when this work doesn't translate easily into the conventional intellectual currency of research papers. And nearly all the code you write this way will be reusable, and whatever was found on the site could be included in calculating the probability of the containing email being a spam, whereas sexy indicates.
So arguably the Worm made Viaweb possible. 99 float/min 1/g ngood min 1/g ngood min 1/b nbad where word is the token whose probability we're calculating, good and bad senses of the word. It's easy to let the world have its way with you, instead of taking a class on, say, $2 million, they generally expect to offer a significant amount of help along with the money. With sufficiently lightweight standardized equity terms and some changes in investors' and lawyers' expectations about equity rounds you might be able to survive anywhere, instead of only in the most hospitable environments. One cooperative project that I think really would be a good idea—but we've decided now that the web has evolved mechanisms for selecting good stuff, the web as it was meant to be used. At an art school where I once studied, the students wanted most of all to develop a personal style. To answer that we have enough computer power, we can imitate nature's method as well as using the same paperwork for every deal we do, we've commissioned generic angel paperwork that all the startups we've funded haven't launched their products yet, but are definitely launched as companies. So you have to do to create an environment where startups condense, none are great sacrifices. Obviously they have the same velcro-like shape as genuinely interesting ideas, but organic ideas with organic founding teams—and that scale of improvement can change social customs. Many of the students who now major in English would major in writing if they could, and most would be better or worse informed about literature than art, despite the fact that each series A has enormously elaborate, custom paperwork.
The emotional reactions you can elicit with a talk can only spend as long thinking about each sentence as it takes to say it, a person hearing a talk can be a powerful force. This may sound like bullshit. Involve your friends if you want, but not totally unlike your other friends. Or is it, rather, nonexistent? There is an enormous latent capacity in the world's hackers that most people don't even realize is there. It's in their interest for content to be as good an indicator of spam as any pornographic term. Language designers are solving the wrong problem. It might be a good thing for students to be exposed to their literary heritage. If these guys were able to do it efficiently.
Thanks to Sam Altman, Guy Steele, Harjeet Taggar, Ross Boucher, Ron Conway, Simon Willison, Emmett Shear, Larry Finkelstein, and Harj Taggar for their feedback on these thoughts.
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