#and im killing him off as soon as i can

[almostsweetangel]

the reason why dhmis tv feels 'less scary' to most people than the webseries is because the stoplight trio are now aware of the pattern and are more or less resigned to it (minus the occasinal breakdown) and the teachers are way less powerful than the OG teachers.

in the original series, the trio only begin to expect a teacher showing up by episode four (in fact, harry deliberately seeks one out - turning to gilbert when they need to know what the biggest thing in the world is, only to be hijacked by colin), and in that same episode, his self-awareness is rewarded by the narrative with forcible removal from the house.

the original series is a theatre of helplessness, control, and punishment. the trio remember everything that's happened to them but are unable to stop it, and get put through agonizing lessons by teachers that warp reality around them and antagonize them when they toe out of line. when they become self-aware, they're immediately punished by the show (harry getting kicked out into the real world, robin getting canned and cannibalized), and the surviving members have to keep going despite it.

in the new series, their memories are spotty but they're resigned to the teachers showing up. they expect them to the point where it's routine. AND their teachers aren't as untouchable as the old ones, and the trio can toe out of line. the briefcase leaves halfway through the lesson, the coffin gets absolutely blasted to pieces by a shovel, the family gets eaten by roy, warren gets the living shit roasted out of him before getting speared, the train dies midway through before his corpse gets used as a car, and the meter gets her batteries stolen. the trio still are helpless regarding their situation with the house and the loop, but they're nowhere near as under the mercy of the teachers as they used to be.

#MANNY OBLITERATED A TEACHER. JOT THAT DOWN. FIRST TEACHER KILL GOES TO HIM #and before anyone goes Yeah but didn't harry constantly sass colin in the og? YES!!!! AND HE GOT BOOTED OFF SET FOR IT! #colin was constantly passive aggressive towards him and the episode ends with his head exploding! #the narrative punishes any form of antagonism the characters have! as soon as robin goes I DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE #he wakes up on the operating table! the show is a living thing that punishes them for their insolence! #the tv series is kinder. the horror comes from the unknown. not from the knowledge that you're trapped here and there's nothing you can do #ANYWAY THAT'S WHY COLIN LITERALLY STRETCHING HIS MONITOR TO ACCOMMODATE THE TRIO AND SAYING I LOVE YOU IS SO SPECIAL #CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FOR MY CLEVERY GUY!!!!!! #dhmis #dhmis spoilers #don't hug me i'm scared #yes im using the old terms like stoplight trio. sue me. what. do you want to remember that we also used to call harry Red Mop #AND spaghetti monster

[hella1975]

THIS IS SO EMBARASSING JUST KISS AND MAKE UP OR SOMETHING

#the ground beta fight has me feeling bad for BAKUGO of all people cant they just kill him off already i cant do this #'is it because you looked up to him more than i did? and if that's the case does it mean everything ive done to be like him is wrong?' STOP #THE OBSESSIVE RIVALRY IS GETTING EMOTIONAL PLEASE JUST KISS #yeah yeah the bully x victim trope is bad but i just think bkdk is the funniest possible outcome here #'bakugo told him to kill himself' bakugo was in middle school #he was like. ten. yeah he needs to apologise but thanks to INCESSANT TIKTOK SPIOLERS i know he does #im investing early idc #the good thing about mha is that the fandom is so big and insane that idc about making good nuanced takes #like every take has already been made both good and bad so im just here to say the funniest possible thing #i want to get cancelled by any mha fans as soon as possible so i can live my life in peace #my hero academia #hella watches anime #mha spoilers #i am NOT tagging this as bakudeku those guys scare me i ultimately am disappointed that this is what im leaning towards

[hershelwidget]

Shellington and Peso made the Pink Sauce and it was so horrible Barnacles had to ban them from working together on their own. The Pink Sauce is now the world’s deadliest poison and it is capable of affecting even the Grim Reaper himself.

…

In other words writing the actual Octonauts for this AU is the FUNNIEST thing ever

#hershel’s octonauts au #octonauts #octonauts shellington #octonauts peso #im not tagging barnacles. this isnt about him. #i want you all to know that after shellington told everyone what happened #kwazii very loudly exclaimed ‘how are you so good at fucking up so bad?!’ which is a very goofy thing to hear passing by the octopod #due to what Peso is doing in this au and also because they’re silly like that shellington took full responsibility for the Sauce #and it immediately bit him in the back because its part of the reason jarvis is constantly trying to kill him :) #peso did not get off scot free. the sauce being a poison haunts him so bad :)) #fun fact! the sauce will try to dissolve anything biological it touches #and if fully submerged in it for more than 5 seconds it will Infect the victim #as soon as it can cover someones whole body it’ll basically try to become the most terrifying parasite ever :) #alright fellow octonauts fans hope you get to sleep tonight :3

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

bye bela :(

#she doesnt come back in liams run sadly ;; #i can never get her approval quite high enough oops #(tbf tho im not making a Huge Effort since thats how it happened the first time and its a replay run anyways) #laya plays dragon age #liam for his part is. so so pissed rn #what the FUCK isabla what do you MEAN you need that relic??? #like. what. you would trade having one guy off your back for having THE QUNARI hunting you down???? #he is. VERY goddamn angry in that qunari compound. at isabela but also just in general at Everything #that being said he still cant bring himself to tell the arishok that isabela has the tome #in part out of spite towards the arishok but also bc he genuinely doesnt know if the relic was there and/or if bela has it now #and if it wasnt then isabela might get hunted and killed for nothing #and if she does have it? well theyre gonna find out soon enough #stop fucking acting like this is all his fault somehow #if it were for him once the qunari attack he'd frantically gather up his friends and gamlen and evacuate somewhere safe #he does NOT want to be in the arishoks line of sight when he goes on a rampage #(hah. we all know how that works out LOL)

[todayisafridaynight]

One moment in Y3 I'll never get over is Daigo, fresh out of coma, instinctively reassuring Mine with such tenderness. Yeah it made him feel more guilty, sure. But at that moment I was like "I get it, Mine. I now get why you're that obsessed". Doesn't make it better that Daigo is pretty pretty with a wonderful voice and gorgeous shoulders

this ask was so real and true and right and it still is but i am cackling a little at 'daigo's gorgeous shoulders'

#snap chats #wide daigo strikes again #on the real tho no wonder mine wanted to kill himself after that #like here he was about to kill daigo because. Hes Insane #and then as soon as daigo wakes up he rolls out of bed- uses the gun mine wsa gonna use on him #saves mine and kiryu and then without question is just '<:0 mine whats going on- are you ok <:0 we're ok now no need to worry :)' #and then he hit him with that loving smile and that gentle voice and. and yeah i wouldve jumped off the roof too #i could never forgive myself for almost killing a man as beautiful as that idc if i thought i was doing the right thing #mine this why we leave this typea shit to the doctors just WAIT DUDE #unless this really was a case where because of all the outside noise daigo woke up #since i know talking to coma patients can help with that and. well. probably was the most noise daigo's gotten in days #aww poor daigo didnt have anyone in his hospital room to keep him company this whole time #either that or mine really did just sit in dead silence looking at him. freak. but ok valid #its too early for daigo-loving hours <-this is a lie and if i ever say this again assume im an imposter

[bandtrees]

every day tttaac gets closer. im normal. im so normal. im ssosoooo normal.

#babbles #the times they are a changin' #fig and i have been working on this fic since MARCH!! AND SOON IT'LL BE OUT!!! AND SOMETHING YOU CAN READ!!!! AAAHHHH #now that its getting so close to being real i oscillate so rapidly b/w 'this is so hype im so excited this is gonna blow ppls socks off' #and the last-minute nerves of 'oh god is this even good' LOLLL but i know its just nerves. this is the biggest thing iv ever worked on #fig is an awesome co-author and hes especially been on that grind in this home stretch and im really happy and hype for him. this would be #NOTHING without him and i look at the stuff he's made and i smile sooo bigly and evilly its going to kill you guys. god. goddd #when i talk abt tttaac i keep saying i dont want it to get popular: and i dont #like its inherently in its tone and premise and length and style and everything NICHE and i like that #i would rather appeal to a select few people who are super into this sorta thing than subject 100000000 ppl to it #BUT. i also look at it and i think - man we did this. we put all this work in. and it deserves to be recognized i think. ya know #all of this to say: if our 10/10 post date gets overshadowed by reigen ova i'll be PISSED this is the ONE DAY I DONT WANT THAT ADAPTATION #10/10 good day for it for many reasons related to the fic itself but also its really funny to imagine #it being next to a bunch of normal ass reigen bday fics on ao3. HAPPY BIRTHDAY REIGEN YOU GET [DATA EXPUNGED]

[mediapen]

this is the worst fucking trip of my life. i spent a week in russia having a massive panic attack every fucking day and THIS is the worst trip of my life

#ive literally never experienced such rude people im gonna snap so fucking bad soon #it’s EVERY DAY if it was a one off it’d be at least a bit better but it’s EVERY TIME I GO ANYWHERE WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME!!!!!!! oh my god #i am so sorry central maybe it’s not you. well it was you but your shitass contagion has spread around the world #I’ve had like six people cut in lines ahead of me people walk so close they push me into walls i just stop dead now it’s the only thing tha #works some guy walked through my arm and WHACKED his arm on my water bottle in my bag and it HURT him i could hear it it’s the highlight of #this entire fucking trip #i have been hit in a cathedral nearly stood on multiple times kids running into me people trying to walk through me ive just lugged my case #onto a bus where these two old cunts with like cabin bag sized cases managed to move to take up SIX SEATS as i got on the bus with my big #case so i had to stand. then nobody would let me off the bus with my big fucking case so hopefully i broke some toes. and THEN in my three #minute walk to this airbnb i am supposed to just get off the planet apparently and also walk in the road because god forbid other people #develop an ounce of brain matter and not walk four abreast on the pavement im fucking over it. fuck off and die you can see me im 5’9 #also the bus people im not done with those fucking bus people like they were in the four seats and one of them went to a two seat but the #one on the four stayed on the edge with his case so i couldn’t get past and there were no other case-friendly seats #like it was fucking intentional what level of fuckhead do you have to be to stop someone sitting on a bus absolutely wank #google translate I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF the next time something happens and i will do it for real #dl

[lecliss]

Brooo Flay sucks sooo much. I was worried she was gonna be like Shirley but then she decided to be racist AND like Shirley. Get this bitch off that fucking ship. Just eject her ass.

#the shirley/faly archetype is doomed to suck major fucking ass and frankly good cuz i hate shirley #and ya know. considering i now know this is made by sunrise. are we sure CG isnt just SEED 2.0? #flay's also kinda like nina too. nina and shirley seem to be like if you split flay in half from what ive seen far #*so far #im also sad sai had like a microagression moment towards lacus. i really really liked sai up until that comment of his #i legit screamed cuz i was so disappointed in him #i for real was all like. flay and sai need to break up cuz she doesnt deserve him. and then like 30 secs later sai made that comment #and i was like 😶 spoke too soon #HOLD ON WAIT. I SEE A THUMBNAIL FOR A FUTURE EPISODE THATS LITERALLY FLAY KISSING KIRA #GET FUCKING PROTO SHIRLEY OFF THIS FUCKING SHIP HOLY FUCKING SHIT I HATE HER EVEN MORE NOW!!!! #CAN SHE DIE LIKE SHIRLEY TOO? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE???? GO THE WAY OF THE SHIRLEY AND GET KILLED OFF BY A CUTE YANDERE BOY MAYBE???? #manifesting flay's death rn. plz. i know the spoilers from the relationship charts but im still gonna hold out hope anyway #a man can dream at least #personal

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

im FINE.

#im FJNE THIS IS FINE IM DOIJG GREAT. #I HAVENT FINISHED THE EP YET BUT THERES AN AD BREAK AND IVE FOT LIKE 5 MINUTES LEFT #NAI IS DEAD. YOU KILLED HIM. FUCK. WHAT RHE FUCK #HEAD IN HANDS #hes probably fine. he got all fucked up in the manga hes just gonna come back with long hair in s2 #and hes gonna be soooo pretty and transgender about it #anyway. can we talk about vashs goth angel outfit this ep. hell yeah #ok ads r over be back soon. phone is on 20% and the poeer is STILL off i wish for death

[dirt-str1der]

Wanna kill kiryu and it wont be any sort of romance or poetry i just want him dead. Its a sex thing

#Yakuza loveblog #im killing him after every save .... just because i cant stand the way his skin looks i needed to be inside it #really dragging him outside and tying his arms and legs to four horses and then i tap his face gently and wake him up and then he sees me #and goes whuh .. huh ... and i scream as loud as i can and the horses all scatter and start pulling him apart and dismembering him and while #hes bleeding out because all his limbs got ripped off i straddle his chest and play a bongo beat on his cheeks #and he is losing blood and in so much pain he cant even scream and he knows hes going to die soon and he looks at me ... he cant ask why !!! #like yeaah i want to have sex with him i also want to see him being pulled apart like brisket #oooohhhhh i want to kill him so badly ... i wanna do it in a goofy loony tunes way but im the only one laughing because he looks so so silly #all trussed up and looking at me with eyes asking why why why and i dont care i pull the lever that drops a piano on him and all i can see #under the split wood and splinters is a single arm of his reaching out and a pool of blood starting to fan out over the wreckage #ask me why ... ask me the point .. you think i know ? im doing this because i have infinite resets little boy .. now climb into this freezer #im going to lock it shut and im not going to let you out ~

[timeisacephalopod]

Ended up calling CAS (Canadian CPS Americans) and I did not expect to have complicated feelings on such a thing because it's not as if the call wasn't needed years ago if I'm honest, but I typically do not like involving myself in such things especially when so many people make frivolous calls to cops and agencies like this. Seriously, child abuse is the crime that receives the most false accusations and of course I'm not talking out my ass, but I also don't want to disrupt a bunch of kids lives over their mothers bullshit.

On the flip side me messing around with their lives at this point is probably the best option for them and that's not something I say lightly, I told the guy twice I was making that call with a heavy heart but what little I know is deeply disturbing to me. And specified that I believe my oldest niece is the primary victim in part because she's a vocal kid, good for her. But that's done, I can at least know I tried for those kids and did what I could to make myself sound credible and give what info I know even if I made it clear that I don't know probably anything really. But I'm tired of waiting for change from someone who isn't capable of it. Those kids need better, it's not like I didn't wait 13 years for her to do better by those kids. It's not like I said anything untrue to anyone involved either, so complicated feelings or not know I didn't just run around making nasty frivolous phone calls. I'm genuinely concerned my oldest niece will end up dead and that the only thing done about it on shitheads end will be protecting my nieces murderer and if I did nothing about that I'd never be able to live with it.

#winters ramblings #i feel bad for calling i DO even if as far as im concerned that piece of shit deserves to be vivisected for what shes done #its the KIDS i feel for. i just dont want their lives fucked up because of ME but like. their lives are fucked already #thats why i called like i said id call a month ago but decided that was too extreme and WAY too soon #but the way things are going im afraid shell speedrun her usual abusive relationships and my NIECE will get killed #maybe that scum fuck wont care if her kid isurdered since she doesmt care if that same kid is BEATEN #but ID sure shit care and i wouldnt be able toive with myself if something happened and i DIDNT SAY SHIT before it could be prevented #i simply could not do that to CHILDREN. the guy said they may call me back for more info and i was like yeah thats fine #anything i can do to help those kids which he seemed to appreciate. but really i sat around FAR too long #complicated feelings or not i didnt make that call to be frivolous OR as any kind of revenge for her bullshit #i did it because if shes willing to go THAT FAR with me over nothing im afraid she'll let that SCUM actually KILL my niece and do nothing #or WORSE out and out PROTECT him from any consequences for KILLING her. and god help me if that happened #and i did NOTHING id need therapy for the guilt i could NOT live with that. so i made a call i never wanted to make #beyond being pissed off in a moment but i sat on it for a couple days and when i woke up today #i knew what i had to do and whether i like it or not. i did NOT make that call lightly #the fact that i called anyone when i LOATHE phone calls is already a massive hurdle on my end jumped #but like really am i going to sit around wondering if my niece will be DEAD soon without trying to DO something? #no. i just couldnt live with that and if nothing happens well. i did what i could #whatever DOES happen i hope those kids are ok and i hope theyll either be close enough to visit #or that my mom would be nice enough to drive my ass to visit with them somewhat often since if they get placed in other homes #or just one other home then id like to at least try to provide some type of familial stability by maintaining contact #i know the kids use kids messenger too so if anything happens ill try to get that info so o can contact them #and they can reach out if they want to. especially my oldest niece im so worried for her that kid WILL press all the buttons she can #which is good for her on one hand but has me worried she'll get HURT on the other and i dont want THAT of course #regardless hopefully whatever might come of this those kids get the environment they deserve and thrive

[newspecies]

hi. im normal about books. now everyone go read Lone Women by Victor LaValle

#rot.txt #personally i dont think it works super well as HORROR (despite being labeled as such on libby) but god its good. #okay spoilers now. the reeds being so performative makes me crazy #jerrine talks of women dressing as men to join a war but the moment she meets a “girl” dressed as a boy living as a boy she loses her mind #also from a writing perspective i liked how even after sam is outed the narrative still doesnt misgender him #hes still a boy. jerrine thinks hes a girl and put him in a dress but hes still a boy #the reeds being all “this town is a family!” but are so willing to slaughter all the people they dont want there at the drop of a hat #jack calling fiona a SLUR and barely realizing that its wrong. he only backs down because he knows fiona and bertie could beat him up #and like. him not stopping joab from killing delmus. the stranglers. they killed those wolfers without any proof of their crime #both of them put on this face of being perfect and kind but the moment theyre faced with something a little different they have to kill it #literally. #i was going to end it there but chapter 61 is making me abnormal. joab being faced with sam knowing this nine year olds mother #is being hanged in the building next door. so soon after strangling his brother and seeing his own mother die at the claws of a demon #and knowing his other brothers were picked off by the same demon. ough. and dont even get me started on elizabeth #im not done yet so i dont know but i was thinking elizabeth is a metaphor for disability being “shameful” to the family #and how family members face difficulty taking care of a disabled loved one and are blinded to said loved ones own struggles #adelaide does basically say this ^ to elizabeth. she was so caught up being angry about the isolation #that she didnt think about how elizabeth felt about the same thing but WORSE. at least adelaide had parents #elizabeth just had jailers #and yes elizabeth has killed and eaten several people (and horses) but what else can she do? what else has she been offered? #god. between the time i started this and now i finished the book LKDSJFDS #anyway its about adults failing children and the marginalized standing together and believing each other #the end was great. i loved how the Lone Women werent really alone at the end. they found a place to be happy and safe #as much as i like miserable endings this one was sweet. i liked it #i have more to say but these tags are long enough

[aw-bean-s]

.

#Trying to figure out how to convince my chatty anxious gp who likes my mum not to tell my parents my medical info #I just really need to tell someone who I won't hurt that I'm like. Massively suicidal. And this I the worst its been since I was 12 #But I also need mum not to know bc that fucks up my whole system of 'how not to kill/hurt self' that I've constucted over the years #Like as soon as she knows that's mentally taken a lot of pressure off of not doing it #Which gives me carte blanche to just like. Go ham as it were #Also if anyone sees this don't worry im alright right now this is just the frustration of like. Doing maths basically #It's so annoying bc the only thing I can come up with is threatening him. which is mean. And bad. #Like go half 'if you tell mum I will hurt myself it won't b your fault but it will happen' and half 'that's my private info #I told you not to share it you had no reason and I'll go to the privacy commissioner' #But like I said this guys nice and a family friend and I don't wanna do that it's mean :(( #BUT I really need him to understand the seriousness of him not telling mum and I think he won't get it #so it's looking like I'd spend half the appointment telling him not to tell mum #and on top of all of this my ear needs checking! Like I have an actual medical issue! #Fml #Vent

[astrolynnworld]

cramps

pairing: matt x reader

summary: you’re on your period and matt does anything and everything to soothe the pain away

warnings: fluff! period cramps, romance, care, reassurance, wholesome, pet names (sweet/pretty girl)

word count: 717

i toss and turn as i feel my pre period cramps start to form

my period is not suppose to come for another 5 days but my cramps always come first, as a warning

i check raise my head to check the clock and see what time it is

“4:15 am” i see on the tv’s cable box

i lay my head back down and continue to shuffle around the bed to find a comfortable position for my cramps to relax in

“baby what’s wrong?” matt asks me with his raspy morning voice

“my period is coming soon, i feel the cramps start to overTAKE me” i say in soft annoyed tone

“is there anything i could do to help baby?” he concerns

“can you actually go get me my heating pad please?” i ask nicely

he hops out the bed and uses the flashlight off his phone to roam around the room and look for my heating pad

once he pulls it in comes back to bed, i hear him gasp

“what?” i jump in shock at his gasp

“your period.. came”

i sit up to see what he’s talking about and see a whole bloody mess stained into our bedsheets

“oh my god” i put my head in my hands out of annoyance and embarrassment

“it’s okay baby. i just need you to stand up for me okay?”

i get off the bed and start to feel the water works fall out

“don’t cry baby” matt says as he comes over to me and wraps his arms around me

“hey it’s not your fault baby” he tries to reassure

“you can’t help it.. you didn’t know, it’s completely fine. you don’t have to cry, sweet girl” he continues as he starts to play with my hair in the hug

i pull back and start to wipe my eyes as i start to sense that im being dramatic

“here baby, i need you to go wash up while i clean the bed”

i nod my head and make my way to the bathroom

“and hand me your clothes before you go in the shower please”

i do as i’m told then i head to the shower

i continue to wash up as i hear matt enter the bathroom

“hey pretty girl, everything still okay?” he asks

“yeah, i’m just finishing up” i sluggishly say

“okay baby. i changed our sheets and im washing the other ones now” he reassures

i stay silent out of acknowledgment but he doesn’t leave

“is there anything else you want princess?” he asks

“no thank you” i say while shaking my head as if he could see me

“alright..” he says before closing the door

i could tell he feels bad but i just really can’t be bothered rn. my stomach hurts, i embarrassed myself, im so annoyed, and i feel bad that he feels bad.. there’s just too much going on

i finish up my shower and put my towel on before heading back to the bedroom

when i get back i see matt had turned on the led lights, switched the tv to netflix, and had my tylenol bottle set up next to some water

“matt what is this?”

“nothing much. just me trying to distract you from your period” he giggles

“that’s not how it works sadly” i pout as i pop the tylenol in my mouth and swallow some water

“well, im gonna try” he comes in for a kiss

i start to get dressed, not forgetting the pad, as matt searches for a good movie to watch.

“do you want some to eat pretty?”

“is anything even open right now?” i genuinely ask

“only mcdonald’s..” he replies

“then yes please” i smile at him

“your usual?”

“yeah” i reply as i get in bed to snuggle next to him

“it’ll be here in 30 minutes” he says

“if we’re still up” i chuckle

“don’t worry. i’ll grab it for you so you can enjoy it when you wake up and not kill me for letting you fall asleep” he chuckles back

“thank you baby. i appreciate you so much, definitely a core memory” i turn over to face him

he smiles and places a kiss on my forehead, “i love you, sweet girl. don’t forget it”

——————————————————————-

taglist: @cutiepatootie36273 @secret-sturniolo @sturns-blog @sturniolo-2003 @mayaaatok @sturnswrites @mattsleftnipple03 @mattybswife @tropicasturn @princessbetsy123-blog <333

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo x reader #matt girl #matthew sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo fluff #christopher sturniolo fluff #sturniolo triplets fluff #chris sturniolo fluff #sturniolo fluff #sturniolo smut #sturniolo fandom #matthew sturniolo fanfic #christopher sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets fanfic #nick sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo x reader #smut #chris sturniolo smut

[norrizzandpia]

We’ve seen rabid lado’s girlfriend but what about rabid Lando about his girlfriend

Hi hello welcome back to the universe of feral!reader

Y/n’s Biggest Fangirl (Lando’s Biggest Fangirl Part 3) (LN4)

Summary: A look into the times when Lando was feral for his own girlfriend.

Warnings: suggestive comments, language, the drivers being scared and nervous for the sanity of lando and y/n, Alex says “kms” once and its very loosely used plz don’t do anything like that ever ty

Note: Here are the links to the other parts! Part 1 Part 2 also there is no face claim for this its just blonde, faceless women but you can imagine anyone <3

landonorris if i speak….

Comments:

y/nnn oh! so j to fill everyone in, i sent this to him (one of my friends took it on a girls night) he responded back with some very… um… not safe for work messages

- Mclarensgirly leak them.

- landonorris she leaks them and my entire career is ruined fr

- f1fan2024 y/n. leak. them.

- y/nnn guys. yall know how crazed i am but even i wont leak these texts.

- Mclarensgirly 😟

- f1fan2024 🤨📸

oscarpiastri you are aware this is your MAIN insta account right?

- landonorris yes.

mclaren calling the psych ward brb

—

landonorris who wants to guess where i wish my hand was

Comments:

oscarpiastri THIS IS YOUR MAIN FUCKING INSTA ACCOUNT

danielricciardo mate…

maxverstappen man wtf im just trying to enjoy my winter break

- f1fan34 MAX 😭

y/nnn lando i sent this picture to you out of kindness….

- landonorris and you think I’d do what with it??? Keep it in my camera roll??

y/b/f_username there’s something off balance in your brain but im happy you know how hot your girlfriend is 🔫

- landonorris SMOKIN. DROP DEAD. MOUTH WATERING. DELICIOUS. EXQUISITE. GODDESS. BEAUTIFUL. STUNNING. GORGEOUS. GOURMET.

- y/nnn why am i a meal

- landonorris cause i wanna eat you up

- alexalbon this interaction has made me want to rip my skin off #vomiting 🙁

—

landonorris mommy

Comments:

alexalbon #kms

- oscarpiastri #😟

- danielricciardo #maininstaaccount

- landonorris #mygfishot

y/nnn alr babe that’s enough screen time for you today

- landonorris no <3

mclaren can we live?

Mclarensgirly uh…..

- op81andln4 ok but like… i want him to call me mommy

- Mclarensgirly that’s weird (I’d kill for him to call me mommy)

- oscarpiastri see what you’ve done landonorris?

- landonorris I don’t see a problem.

- maxverstappen GET THIS MAN TO THE ER JESUS CHRIST

—

landonorris prettier than the Trevi Fountain 🫶🏻

Comments:

y/nnn i got the notification he posted, got terrified, then opened it and my heart warmed ☺️

- Mclarensgirly HER INSTA NOTIFS ARE ON FOR HIM 🤭

- landonorris so are mine for her tf

mclaren this works

- landonorris I’ll be back at it again soon dw

- oscarpiastri i will never get a chance to experience what true peace feels like.

F1fan2024 get you a man who will call you mommy and prettier than the trevi fountain on separate occasions in the span of a week

alexalbon i like this one!

- landonorris that’s my gf back off bitch.

- alexalbon damn.

y/nnn dw guys i just sent him another pic of me getting ready to go out with the girls

- landonorris BARK BARK

- danielricciardo #whereisthenearestbombshelter

- maxverstappen #itsover

- oscarpiastri #landomakesmescared

- landonorris #youwishyouwereme❤️

#mclaren #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagines #lando norris fic #lando x reader #lando imagine #lando norris #lando norris x you #lando norris edit #lando norris fanfiction #lando norris oneshot

[rafeandonlyrafe]

deputy's daughter

words: 1.6k

warnings: 18+ only!, p in v sex, unprotected sex, pull out method, caught

“rafe!” you hiss as he makes his way into your room through his preferred method of the window. “my dad is going to kill you!”

“is he home?” he questions. he didn't see the cop car sitting in your driveway, which is why he scaled the lattice to sneak inside.

“no, but he's gonna be home any minute now!” you keep your voice quiet despite the rest of the house being empty.

“let me kiss you until he gets home then.” rafe says, cupping your cheeks and pulling you into a heated kiss. you know it's never just a kiss with him, but you can't help but open your lips for his adventurous tongue, gripping his shirt to pull him in closer.

rafe smirks against your mouth. he could have texted you asking you to let him, but that would have taken all the fun out of it. 

“you have to leave as soon as my dad gets home.” you scold him as rafe lays you back on your bed. 

“i know you can’t keep quiet.” rafe chuckles, hand groping at your tits through your thin pajama shirt. thankfully the flood lights above the garage are motion sensored, and with your open window they'll alert you when your dad gets home.

“if only deputy shoupe knew what i was doing to his little angel of a daughter.” rafe chuckles as you send him a glare, tugging at his shirt in a silent plea for him to take it off.

“shut up, cameron. he likes you anyways.” you roll your eyes. now if it was a pogue in your bed, that would be a whole different story. 

“mhm.” rafe nods, tugging your shirt up, revealing your bare chest. “im just so charming. all the parents love me.”

“all?” you raise your eyebrows, taking your shirt the rest of the way off, flinging it across the room. “you mean you do this with other girls.”

“not anymore.” rafe shakes his head, mouth dropping to your nipple, tongue flicking over the sensitive bud. “you know they don't compare to that delicious pussy, baby.”

you tsk. “it's a shame you don't have time to eat it then.” 

rafe sighs dramatically, like it physically hurts him to not be able to give you head, to let his tongue drag through your folds and slurp up your juices.

“just a quick taste then ill fuck you, promise.” rafe tugs your pajama shorts down, knowing you never wear underwear just for him as he buries his face between your legs, forcing your thighs apart as his greedy mouth explores your pussy.

“delicious, baby.” rafe groans, voice vibrating against your skin. “my favorite meal.” he continues for only a moment longer, flicking his tongue against your entrance before moving up to press a wet kiss to your clit, making you moan out, eyes flickering to your window, making sure you somehow didn't miss the floodlights turning on.

rafe stands up with a lick of his lips, quickly undressing himself until he's just as bare as you are.

“condom?” he asks, forgetting to put one in his pocket, so caught up with getting over to your house on time, even running from his car to your yard, always parking a block away to not cause suspicion.

“fuck, you didn't bring one?” you groan, turning towards your bedside table. you squint in the low light as you scrounge through the drawer, but you know that you used the last one with rafe a week ago.

“just…” you sigh, pressing your forehead into the bed. “just pull out, okay?”

“promise.” rafe nods, eyes on your ass like they have been since you first turned onto your stomach, only half listening to what you're saying, but glad that you're still letting him fuck you.

rafe kneels over your legs before you can move back to your front or rise to your hands and knees. “stay like that.” he hums, gripping his cock and pushing it between your thighs, rubbing the head through your slick.

“fuck, you're so hot.” rafe groans as you reach behind your back, pulling your ass apart to show off both of your holes. “gonna let me play with this one one day?” rafe hums, his tip sliding past your entrance to your other hole, tapping against it.

“maybe.” you smirk. but certainly not today, not when you're already playing on limited time.

rafe slides back down to your cunt, pushing in as he leans forward, covering your body with his own. one hand keeps him held up, stopping from putting his complete weight on you, while the other grips your ass.

“fuck.” rafe groans out, his voice sounding more hoarse than usual. “you feel so good with nothing in between us.”

you moan as well as rafe bottoms out, pushing as far in as your pussy allows. he sits still, allowing you to adjust, to feel every ridge and vein of his cock. he goes from giving you nothing to pounding into you in an instant, the sound of your skin slapping together filling the room.

rafe gives a glance at the window. lights still off. he smirks down at you, your hands now gripping into the bedsheets as he plows into you from behind, using the full force of his hips with every thrust.

“m-more.” you mewl out, body shuddering as rafe manages to go deeper with a tilt of his hips, along with you arching your back and bringing your ass up further into the air.

you let out loud groans with every thrust that's now hitting your sweet spot, pushing your orgasm quickly to the surface.

“fuck baby, you're so tight.” rafe grunts out. “don't know how much longer i can last.”

“re-remember to pull out.” you manage to hum out, even though you wish you could feel him fill you up, you're not on birth control and are already taking a risk with having sex at all.

“ass or tits?” rafe questions. 

“ass.” you shake your hips from side to side, making rafe let out a loud curse, pulling out sooner than he'd like to to jack himself off, spilling almost instantly over your ass and back, spreading long ropes of cum along your skin.

rafe is quick to grab a tissue and clean you off, as much as he likes seeing you covered in his cum, he's got other things to focus on.

just as he's about to flip you over to eat you out, the lights outside turn on.

“fuck!” you curse, knowing you have seconds before your dad enters the house. you turn over to look at rafe. you gotta get out.”

“you didn't cum yet.” rafe shakes his head, body covering you again, pressing you back down into the plush mattress. “im not leaving without giving you at least one orgasm.”

“you're gonna be leaving with a bullet in your chest if my dad catches you!” you hiss out.

“itll be worth it.” rafe manages to force his hand underneath you, finding your clit with ease as he rubs his fingers between your folds. 

“y/n!” your dads voice calls out. you usually greet him downstairs, staying locked in your room is bound to cause suspicion.

“rafe.” you moan out quietly. “please, stop.” you can barely keep yourself from screaming out as his fingers just move faster, his weight pressing down on you too much to move.

“babygirl?” shoupe calls out, his loud footsteps marching up the stairs.

“i-in my room!” you call out.

“you okay?” he asks, now right outside your door. you have to cover your mouth as rafe flicks your clit. you take a deep breath before answering.

“yeah, fine!” your voice wobbles a little, something you know your dad notices. “just period cramps!”

“can i get you some midol?” he questions, and you know his ear is pressed to the door, listening for any signs that something is amiss as rafe rubs you quicker, refusing to slow down, needing to get an orgasm out of you.

“already took some!” you call out, having to press your face into your mattress as you cum, body shaking as rafe smirks above you, hearing your muffled noises. “i think im just gonna go to bed early.” you say as soon as you recover.

“alright, goodnight sweetheart.” 

rafe finally allows you to flip over, lifting himself to lay on his side next to you. you raise your eyebrows and hold your finger to your lips, signaling rafe to be quiet until you hear your father's footsteps move down the hallway.

“rafe, you almost got us caught!” you whisper, giving him a shove on the shoulder, only to be met by a proud smile on his face.

“had to get you off, princess, otherwise it wouldn't be fair.” rafe leans forward to plant a kiss on your lips, feeling the way you melt against him.

“am i forgiven?” he questions.

“yeah, just get out.” you giggle quietly. you think your dad bought your explanation, but you can never be too sure.

rafe dresses quickly, throwing your pajamas onto the bed so you can also get decent.

“gotta give you one more kiss.” he leans over your bed to give you a sweet kiss, lips moving gently against each others.

“okay, now go.” you shoo rafe out, heading to the window now that your legs feel a bit more stable, watching him climb down the lattice. he gives you a wave once his feet hit the concrete, only for his entire body to freeze when the side door opens up, your dad stepping out into the light.

“rafe cameron, im going to kill you!”

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @cokepewpsii @mysticallystilinski @luvdella @aerangi @folklorsweet @yourenogoodforme @auryyz @mayhem-72 @thestarlithideout @marvelfanfics1recs @rafesgiirl

#rafe smut #rafe cameron smut #obx smut #outer banks smut #rafe fic #rafe fanfic #rafe fanfiction #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe x you #rafe x oc #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x oc #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x reader #rafe drabble #rafe blurb #rafe imagine #rafe one shot #rafe cameron drabble #rafe cameron blurb #rafe cameron one shot #rafe cameron imagine