#and it feels wrong to post traditional sketches on tumblr somehow | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stiingrayyyy · 2 years

Text

Just You and Me, B.H.

Just You and Me

Pairings — Ben Hargreeves x GN!Reader

Summary — Ben didn’t know how long he had left to live, he didn’t get to say everything he wanted to tell you.

Warnings — swearing, mild angst towards the end, mention of death, tell me if I missed any <3

A/N — this is my first official post on tumblr! I’m sorry to the ones who wanted the heavy angst but that’s not until part two (if you want a second part). This is a different writing style than what I’m used to, please give any constructive criticism. Y/n’s pronouns are they/them and Klaus’s pronouns are he/they.

Being Reginald Hargreeves's child isn't easy. Constant training, missions left and right, it all seems endless and you'd never have a normal childhood. His children have several ways of coping.

Klaus sneaks out of the house to go to parties, intoxicating himself with liquor and weed.

Luther and Allison spend too much time together to forget and run away from responsibilities.

Viktor plays violin because he was convinced he was ordinary, powerless, and different from his siblings. This made him question why Reginald had him to begin with.

Diego distracted himself with anything he could. He would go out and look for conflict just so he could end it and save the day. He needed action, he needed something to keep his mind racing so he won't worry about his home and relationship with his father. He needed praise to feel validated, some would say he has and is experiencing some sort of hero syndrome.

Ben? He loved to paint and sketch. He would lock himself in his room for hours just to be alone to create art. There were papers taped to the wall, canvases hung from several of his works.

"I don't understand the craze with glazed donuts. I really don't." Klaus bit into a fresh jelly donut, rolling his eyes back as he savoured the flavour that exploded into his mouth.

The children escaped again.

They snuck out to have donuts and coffee. It was tradition, and somehow they get away with it. Every 12th of the month at 10:00pm they would leave the house and walk to Griddy's Doughnuts.

"Glazed donuts are amazing. They're simple yet sweet," Ben defended his regular order, taking small bites to properly enjoy the donut while he watched Klaus finish his in two bites.

"That's disgusting." Allison laughed, eying her sibling.

"What's wrong with it?" Klaus licked their fingers, downing their cup of coffee all in one. "It's less messy that way."

"No, it isn't!"

Ben began to slowly drown out the sounds of his siblings arguing. His attention made its way across the cafe, his gaze falling upon a teenager who sat alone at a booth. He could've sworn he's seen them before, he could've sworn they met, but at the same time, he knew for a fact that this was his first time laying his eyes on you.

"..Ben? Ben? Earth to Benerrino!" Klaus waved their hand in front of him and he finally snapped out of it when you looked back at him.

"Sorry?" Ben blinked a few times, looking at his sibling as he held his cup of tea in both his hands.

Klaus raised an eyebrow, looking back to see what Ben had been staring at. A smile was brought to his face when he turned back to look at Ben, eyes going wide. "Ben! You think that person is cute, right?"

"Shh! Shh!" Ben clasped a hand over their mouth, glancing over at the teenager to see if they heard.

And sure enough, you did.

"I'm flattered." You said, earning the attention of all six Hargreeves siblings. "Thanks, Ben."

Number Six seemed to stop working for a moment. His eyes widened as he stared at you in shock, face covered with a cherry red hue. "Y-Yeah. Yeah, you— yeah." He smiled and nodded, sipping from his cup as he turned away.

"Bennerino~" Klaus gave his brother a wink, sticking his tongue out as he paid for his snacks.

"Klaus!" Ben whisper-shouted, giving them a death glare as he finished his cup of tea. One after the other, each sibling finished, paid, and walked back home.

Ben couldn't help but spare a glance, looking back at you as he and his siblings exited the shop.

When he looked back at the path in front of him, he caught Klaus's stare in his peripheral vision. He gave them a scoff, rolling his eyes as he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, darting away before Klaus could annoy him with their bickering.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

Being Reginald Hargreeves's child isn't easy. Constant training, missions left and right, it all seems endless and you'd never have a normal childhood. His children have several ways of coping.

Klaus sneaks out of the house and attends teenage parties while doping and drinking himself silly.

Allison and Luther spend inordinate amounts of time together letting their responsibilities slip their minds.

Viktor plays the violin because he believes he is unexceptional, weak, and distinct from his siblings. He knows he's different and every day he asks himself why Reginald chose to keep him, or why Reginald even took him in the first place if all Viktor ever got was neglect.

Diego tries to divert his attention from his family life in every way he can. He needs action to keep his mind active. He needs validation to keep going. He needs to be seen as a hero.

Ben creates art.

Ever since that day at the cafe, you didn’t leave his mind. He dedicated his free time to a new work of art. The inspiration was you.

His delicate fingers held the piece of charcoal in a gentle, yet firm grip. With every stroke, a distinct mark was left behind. He made each line unique from the one previously. His movements were smooth, not a muscle was tensed.

When he finished, he took a deep breath. The fresh oxygen from his open window filled his lungs before escaping his lips, dusting off the excess charcoal on the page. Ben smiled at his piece, gliding the tip of his index finger along the jawline of the teenager on the paper.

It was you, the one from the cafe.

He looked out the window. He watched as the sun painted the molten sky with various reds and oranges along with dashes of purple and pink. It was a work of art within itself.

He glanced over to the clock on his wall, then back out the window. He carefully rolled the drawing in his hands, stepping outside of the window and using his tentacles to make his way down onto the grass.

He looked behind himself, searching for any sign of life through the windows of the Hargreeves Mansion. When it was clear, he ran out of the gate.

Ben sat at Griddy's Doughnuts, a cup of tea placed in both his hands while a glazed donut sat in front of him on a ceramic plate.

"You're alone?"

Ben snapped out of his thoughts, looking at the owner of the voice.

"Yeah," he responded.

Agnus knew the Hargeeeves siblings would always come in packs, she found it strange how there was only one of them at the counter. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

Ben smiled. "Nothing bad, no. Thank you for asking, though." He hadn't remembered the last time someone asked him if he was okay and meant it. The question was simple, but hearing the sincerity behind it was enough to make him smile.

He sat there and waited. The drawing was by the plate, and he began to ponder; he began to overthink. He hadn't talked to you and he already drew you. He didn't have bad intentions, but he didn't want it to come off as creepy. He began to have second thoughts, like he was doing something wrong.

Ben finished up his tea and donut. He grabbed the drawing and placed some coins on the table before leaving the cafe. His head was down, almost ashamed even though he did nothing wrong. He pushed the door open and collided with someone.

He gasped and dropped the piece of paper and watched it fly away in the subtle breeze. Before he got to react, someone grabbed it. He looked at the person and froze.

"Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going." You sheepishly smiled. The paper was unrolled you looked at it.

"I am so sorry." Ben bowed down to show respect. "I know it might be creepy but I promise I'm not a creep. I mean no harm, I just- I just thought that you were—"

"Cute?" You recalled what Klaus called you.

Ben stood up straight, looking at you with cherry-stained cheeks. He said nothing, not denying nor confirming the assumption.

"That's what your brother said last week." You scanned the piece of art, a 'wow' falling under your breath before you handed it back. "You're talented. I can't even draw a straight stick figure. I envy you."

"You? You envy... me?"

"Yes."

"You don't think I was being creepy?"

"No, not at all."

"Are you sure?"

"Stop overthinking it, Ben." You took a step towards the door of the cafe. "I hope to see you around more often."

Ben stilled as the corners of his lips formed a smile. He nodded, then his expression dropped, watching you walk into the shop. "Wait! What's your—"

"Y/n."

Ben paused, "Y/n?"

"That's my name."

The smile returned to his face, "thank you."

You waved, finally walking through the doors and sitting at his usual spot by the window. You looked at Ben, an instant smile lit up your face when he looked back. You held a hand up and waved, earning a rather excited wave back. You began to wonder if you would ever get a moment with Ben, even if it was just to sit together and have coffee; as friends. "There's nothing wrong with having a glazed donut."

— ( ☂︎ ) —

"See, Klaus? Even Y/n agrees that glazed donuts are amazing." Ben defended his favourite treat, biting out of the freshly glazed donut.

"I said there's nothing wrong with a glazed donut. I didn't say they were amazing." It didn't take long for you to get along with the Hargreeves siblings. Especially when Klaus kept nagging Ben to invite you.

"Ha! Y/n agrees with me!" Klaus slammed his hand against the table.

"Hey, woah, woah. I didn't say that either!" You laughed along with the others, heart filled with joy and happiness. You didn’t remember the last time you hung out with other teenagers and felt like you belonged.

"Guys, we should head out." Allison said, "it's getting late. Ben hurry up, it's two more bites. Today is on me." She pulled her wallet out.

"I can pay for my own. Thank you, though, Allison." You only had a chocolate donut. You were smart enough not to have caffeine pumping in your veins before bed.

"You guys can go out, I'll meet you there." Ben looked at you, then Klaus. Klaus smirked back, to the point where their ears began to lift.

You thought you were included in the 'you guys', so you shuffled around to get your wallet back in your pocket. Ben noticed this and quickly took your wrist.

"Not you." He spoke firmer than he intended, "please." His voice softened as he let go of your wrist, bashfully looking at the bottom of his glass while he took another bite of his donut.

You locked eyes with him, then you fell silent, sitting back down with cheeks tinted pink. “Why me?”

Ben turned away again, it was just his timid nature, this boy can never keep eye contact for too long without freaking out. “I was wondering… maybe on Friday we could meet up again?”

“This Friday? I thought Luther had something important coming up. His personal training with your father? That poor guy is going to overwork himself all day…” you looked out the window to look at the Umbrella Academy’s number one. “So we’re just gonna leave him out? If he finds out he’ll be heartbroken.”

“No, uhm…” Ben tapped the edge of his cup. “I was actually hoping it would be us? Just you and me.”

“Just you and me?” Your eyes seemed to light up the second he spoke. The most foolish smile crawled onto your face as you nodded. “Yeah.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.” You nodded, “I would love that. Just you and me.”

Ben’s heart beat out of his chest. Oh, he was such a loser in love. He nodded frantically, finishing the rest of his donut quickly. He covered his mouth as he chewed, shy and polite. He then made his way outside.

“Ready?” Allison motioned for the others to follow her as Luther walked by her side, leading the siblings back to the mansion.

“I’ll see you! Friday at noon!” Ben walked with his siblings with a hand in his pocket, the other one waving goodbye.

“Friday! Noon!” You carried through with his energy and waved back. Then you turned on your heel and went home.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“You’re not going to get in trouble, will you?” Your cup of coffee was finished about an hour ago. An hour ago was also when you and Ben agreed to go back home and call it a day. You didn’t even recall how the conversation kept going, but it did.

“I should be fine,” Ben glanced at the clock, then back at his empty plate that once had two donuts on it. His signature glazed donut and your vanilla-sprinkled one. You got a different donut each time you came. “Thank you for coming with me today.” Words couldn’t express his gratitude, “I’m not saying that I don’t like coming here with my siblings, it’s just… good to have a real friend.”

Your heart warmed at his words, “thank you for asking me out, Ben.” You placed a hand atop his. “I really enjoyed spending time together; just you and me.”

“Do you think…” he began, “..we can see each other again? Only if you want to, that is. There’s no shame in rejecting, I don’t want you to feel obliged to say yes or anything—“

“Yes.” You said with confidence, laughing at the way he began to ramble. “I’d love to, Ben.” You gently gripped his hand, “the second date is always better than the first.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, mind empty. All he focused on was the way you hand your hand placed on his. As seconds passed, the words finally registered. “Wait, second date? This— th-this was a date?”

You instantly took your hand away, “that was my impression. I’m so sorry if I assumed wrong. I should’ve asked.” You felt foolish. You felt as though you were making bold assumptions and you read him wrong. Your ego was making the decisions. “That’s embarrassing.” You laughed it off.

“No, no! There’s nothing wrong with this being a date!” Ben grabbed both of your hands, holding them with a delicate grip. “It actually makes all of this ten times better.”

“Really?” A wave of relief washed over you as you emitted a soft sigh. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to lie to spare my feelings. I was getting a bit too ahead of myself.”

“I’m not lying,” he brushed his thumb over the back of your hand. “I mean every word.”

Butterflies swarmed in your stomach. Never once has anyone made you feel this weak in the knees. “Thank you, Ben.”

“Just know that I would never lie to you. Ever,” he moved his hand, linking his pinky with yours as if he was a seven-year-old boy. “Promise.”

The gesture was so small, so childish, “alright, then.” But this pinky promise held a special place in your heart. “Promise.”

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“Can we just stay like this?” He sat beside you on top of a building with the city beneath you. “It’s so much better up here.”

“Don’t you have a training session with your father?” You looked at him, “and you can’t miss it because that’s how you’re supposed to spend the rest of your day?”

Ben didn’t return your gaze, he just looked down at his lap with his legs swinging back and forth on the edge, “..yeah.”

“And if you don’t show up, you’ll get in trouble and he’ll get mad.”

“I know,” his voice was barely over a whisper.

“So… you should go back. I don’t want you to get in trouble with your father.” You carefully took his face in your hand, tipping his head up to look at you. “It’s okay, Ben. I’ll be fine. You can go.”

“It’s just—“ Ben sighed, shuffling around to get comfortable now that he was facing you. “I don’t want to go. If I do, he’s going to make me kill again.”

“Kill?”

He nodded, “and I don’t want to keep doing it.”

You were at loss for words. You couldn’t tell him to ‘not go’, it was his father and he couldn’t just avoid him. You noticed how he began to tremble, his hands shook along with his quivering lip. “Ben.” You held his hands, “you can drop by my place after.”

“It’s going to be late. Your parents won’t notice?” His voice rose in volume, “I-I don’t want to get you in trouble. It’s an inconvenience. It’s fine, I’ll just see you next week. It’s fine, I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll keep my window open for you.”

“No, no. You don’t have to do that. I told you, I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so,” you rubbed your thumb over the top of his hand. “I’m still going to keep it open. Just in case.”

How did he get so lucky? If someone told him one month ago that he’d make a friend that cared about him as a person rather than a member of the Umbrella Academy, he wouldn’t believe you.

“Okay,” he shot you a smile.

That smile never failed to warm your heart. “Now get us down, Benny Boy.”

He slithered his arm around your waist and you secured your hands on his shoulders. Tentacles sprouted from his back and he safely took you down the building.

“I’ve got you,” he noticed how you held onto him with a deathly grip. “I’m not gonna let you go.”

“You better not,” you laughed, burying your face into the crook of his neck with closed eyes. You took a deep breath, taking in the comforting scent that lingered in his skin and clothing.

When he made it to the ground, he ran his fingers through your hair. “You can let go now.”

You reopened your eyes, looking at the boy. The proximity was close, breathtaking. “What if I don’t want to?” You thought out loud, realizing only when his tanned cheeks tinted red.

“Then that wouldn’t be so bad, would it?” You could feel his subtle breath on your skin.

You moved a hand from his shoulder to his chest, “your heart is beating a mile a minute.” You teased.

“Who’s fault is that?” He teased you back, leaning in closer. His eyes fixated on your lips for no more than a ninth of a second before looking back at your eyes.

“Mine,” you admitted with no shame. With every passing second, Ben inched closer to your face. You looked at his lips, then his eyes as you leaned closer to him.

“I’ve never done this before,” he whispered.

“Neither have I.” You matched his tone..

“May I?”

“May you, what?” You teased him once again.

Ben paused, his breath trembled and you felt it. “May I kiss you?”

“You may.”

“Ben!” The boy was taken away from your grasp. “Dad’s been looking for you! He’s not in the best mood today, Benerrino. You know to never keep the old man waiting!”

You couldn’t even say anything, Klaus had already run off with their brother. The only thing you got was Ben’s glance back. He looked as if he was apologizing with his eyes, a deep frown engraved on his face.

“Klaus!” Ben ripped his wrist out of their grip.

“You know how strict dad is. I don’t want him to get mad at you.” He looked back, he saw you turn and walk away. “Oh shit.” He whispered under his breath, “Ben, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” His tone was sharp enough to kill. “Let’s just go see dad.”

— ( ☂︎ ) —

You haven’t left your room since you arrived home. You were still salty about the episode earlier with Ben and Klaus. You kept your word and left the window open in case Ben dropped by, but time was ticking.

11:11pm.

Curfew at the Umbrella Academy was two hours ago, so you assumed that Ben wasn’t coming. You swung your legs off the edge of your bed and slowly made your way towards the window.

“Y/n?”

“Ben?” You called out, moving your curtains out of the way. “Holy shit,” you held your hand out and helped him inside. “Careful, don’t sit on the bed.” You kept your voice in a low whisper.

He didn’t speak, he only nodded.

You rushed out of your room to grab a cloth then pulled the wooden chair from your desk when you got back. “Sit here, it’s okay. Just relax.”

“How do you expect me to relax?” His voice instantly broke as tears pooled at the bottom of his eyes. “I’ve been trying to relax, for- for the past two hours!” He was careful not to raise his voice too much.

“Are you hurt?“ You used the cloth to wipe the blood off his hands.

He shook his head.

“Did he hurt you?”

“Not physically.”

“Are you… okay?”

He shook his head, “not emotionally.”

Silence lingered in the air as you washed the blood off his skin. When you finished with his hands you went to his neck, then his face. You stopped for a moment, taking this time to cup his cheek. Ben leaned into your touch, shutting his eyes and placed a hand on top of yours. Tears silently trickled down his cheeks as he took in the comfort of your hand. You began to gently wipe the damp cloth over his blood-stained cheeks.

“Do you think I’m a monster?” He looked at you.

“No,” you stated with confidence, “no you’re not. You’re no monster. It’s not your fault. Your dad made you do it, you didn’t have a choice.” You reassured him the best you could. You’re okay now. You’re safe here.” You whispered sweet affirmations. “Thank you for choosing me, tonight.” When you finished, you placed the cloth on your desk. “I’m glad that you’re here with me, Ben.”

“Me too,” he moved away from your hand and stood up. His eyes didn’t leave yours, not once. “Can I have a hug?” A sob slipped past his lips with his words. You didn’t say anything, instantly leaning into his chest and wrapping your arms around him. He began to cry as he returned the embrace, crumpling your shirt up in his hands.

“I’m here, Ben. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You make me feel safe.” He whispered into your hair, “when I’m with you, the rest of the world melts away. Like nothing else matters but you and me.”

Those butterflies came back. They fluttered in your tummy with excitement and wonder.

“Hey, Y/n?”

“Yes?” You pulled away from the embrace but kept your hands on either side of Ben’s body. You didn’t want to let go of him, not yet.

“I’m really happy that you’re in my life.” He brushed a few strands of hair out of your face. “Being with you makes me feel stronger, and I wish you could see yourself the way I do. Because I can’t think of any word that comes close to the way you make me feel.”

You were at loss for words. You wanted nothing more than to hold him in your arms and keep him safe, away from his stupid excuse for a father. “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay,” his hand rubbed your side. “You don’t have to say anything.” He looked at your lips, “you’re perfect.” His stare dallied before darting up into your eyes. “May I?”

“Yes,” you closed the gap, wrapping your arms around his neck as he engulfed your body with ease. In that moment, it was as if the world stopped spinning; like nothing else in the world mattered.

The kiss lingered, and Ben began to move his lips, slowly running his hands down your body. He held your hips in a soft grasp. Then he finally parted.

“Ben…” his name rolled off your tongue like a melody. You leaned in for another kiss, pushing him down on your mattress. He didn’t have time to react, toppling over with a giggle. “Please stay,” you gasped for air.

“Stay?” He kicked his shoes off and got comfortable on the bed, “are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” you gave him an extra pillow and laid next to him. “I want you to stay.” You snuggled up next to him.

“Hey, Y/n?”

“Mhm?”

“Can I be your boyfriend?”

Your smile lit up the dim room, “yes.” You gave him one last peck on the lips before closing your eyes to fall asleep. There was nothing more comforting than the feeling of his arms around your body, his hand running through your hair as you fall asleep.

But the next day when you awoke, he was gone.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“Will you stay this time?” You asked for the millionth time as you laid on your boyfriend’s chest, taking a slow and deep breath as you shuffled around to get comfortable. “I want to wake up beside you this time.” The sleepiness was slowly taking over you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay,” Ben whispered, “I couldn’t risk my dad catching me out. It was only recently he stopped putting cameras in our rooms, if even one of us gets caught, all of us are busted.” He was truly sorry. He wanted to wake up by your side. He wanted to wake up with you in his arms. But he couldn’t risk getting his siblings in trouble.

“Cameras in your room?” Your voice was groggy, you didn’t even pay attention to what he said, you stopped processing what he said after ‘cameras in our rooms’. “That’s messed up,” your words were slurring together.

“Sleepyhead, just close your eyes and rest. You need it.”

“Mnn…”

The sound of your gentle snores filled the darkened room. He fixed his position, looking down at you while keeping you secure in his arms. His lips formed a frown as he moved bits of your hair out of your face. He planted a delicate kiss on your forehead, sighing deeply, “God, I love you…” if he got caught, his father would be furious. He knows that he’d be forbidden from seeing you, and he didn’t want to risk it. He got himself in a mess, a lovely, wonderful mess. Things would be so much easier if he didn’t love you, but he didn’t regret a single thing. He’d choose you over his father in a heartbeat.

12:00am.

He needed to get home, so he did. He carefully placed you down on the bed, properly bringing your blanket to your chin. “I’m sorry, Sweetheart.” He whispered, pressing another kiss on your forehead. “I have to go.” He spoke as though you were awake though you were fast asleep. He walked towards the window, watching as you got comfortable in your slumber. He stood by the window and stared at you. He didn’t move, he didn’t turn away, he just stared at you with pure love. You were the first to treat him right, the first to take care of him out of the kindness of your own heart, the first to truly love him, yet he always left before the morning. Not once have you woken up to him by your side. Did he deserve you.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“Ben?” You approached him and he and his siblings walked out of Griddy’s Doughnuts. It was their monthly sneak-out plan and for the first time in seven months, you didn’t tag along. “Sorry to bother you, I was going to the library, and… this was close by.”

“Going to the library? This late at night?” His eyes went wide, “it’s dangerous. You don’t know what kind of creeps are out there.”

“I’m fine, Ben. Really, I–”

“Ben, let’s go,” Luther called out.

“I need to go.” He made his way past you, but you grabbed his wrist. He turned to face you, effortlessly prying himself from your grasp.

“Can we go out on Sunday? Nothing fancy, just here.” You looked at the donut shop. “Griddy’s Doughnuts. You get the glazed donut and I’ll get the one with sprinkles?”

He squinted as he listened to you. You were being oddly specific, and it worried him. “No, sorry, I’m busy this Sunday.”

“How about Tuesday?”

“Ben! Let’s go!” Allison shouted.

“I need to go,” Ben took a few steps away from you. “I’m sorry. I’ll see you around.”

“I’ll see you–” midsentence and he was running off. “...around.” You ended up going on Wednesday, but not to Griddy’s Doughnuts. Instead you and Ben crashed in your room for the day. The second he stepped through the front door, the atmosphere changed. You didn’t know what it is, but it was heavier. It was mildly uncomfortable and you could tell Ben felt it too.

“You should go home.” Now you were laying on his chest like you always did whenever he came. You two snuggled up with each other whenever the sun began to set, that hasn’t changed. But today is different: the elephant in the room didn’t want to leave.

“It’s nine. A little early for me to leave, don’t you think?” He muttered into your hair. “Let me stay.” He remembered how you used to always ask him to stay, and now you were the one pushing him away.

You shrugged, “I’m feeling tired. I’m going to sleep early tonight.”

“I’ll stay until you fall asleep,” he brushed the back of his hand on your cheek before holding it.

“You never stay, anyways. It’s fine. Just go.” You moved away from his touch.

That was a first.

“What’s wrong?” Something was in the air before, he knew something was wrong, he knew you knew something was wrong. He acted on it first.

“Nothing.” You dismissed it.

“Y/n, you know you can talk to me.”

You shook your head, pursing your lips as you felt the tears begin to form in your eyes. “We barely see each other anymore,” you muttered, “when we do it’s… awkward. It’s not the same as before.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” He shut his eyes, sighing heavily. “I should’ve talked to you earlier. Shutting you out probably wasn’t the best idea.”

“What’s going on, Benny Boy?”

“Us being together… is risky. Especially with my strict dad and all. I feel like I should’ve thought about that before foolishly asking you out.” He couldn’t bear to look at you.

“What are you…” your voice trailed off into utter silence. You looked at him, desperately wanting to meet his gaze. “...what are you implying?” The second those words left your mouth, you wished they didn’t.

“I love you,” Ben began. “I may be seventeen, I may be young, and people say kids like us don’t know what love is. But I know that I really, really love you. You’re the first to see me as who I am. Not just some boy with powers, not the boy in the Umbrella Academy, not Number Six, but you see me as Ben.” He glanced down at you for a moment, but he couldn’t stand that mere second of your pained expression. “I love you, Y/n,” he caressed your arm with his hand, “but if my dad finds out we’re together, he’ll stop us from seeing each other. I’m mistreating you, we don’t see each other as often as we used to because I’m playing it safe. It’s unfair, and you deserve better.”

“Ben, I can wait. I can wait as long as I need to. It’s okay. I don’t mind, I know you’re busy,” you sat up straight, hand gripping his bicep. “I can wait.”

“I don’t want to do this, but it’s better for us to take a break.” His heart sank the moment he finished, finally looking at you. “I’ll come back. When I’m eighteen I can get a bit more freedom. Then we can start seeing each other again.”

You turned away when he looked at you, shaking your head slowly as tears fell from your eyes. You didn’t want this, but you were mature enough to know that he was right. He was in the Umbrella Academy, he has powers, and he isn’t a normal kid. He’s different and you recognized that. You just wished that things were different.

“So… until you’re eighteen, we can’t talk?”

“I didn’t say that,” Ben reassured you, keeping you close. He didn’t want to let go. He felt that if he did, then he’d lose you for good. “I’ll still come by and visit. You can come to Griddy’s Doughnuts with me and my siblings. I’m still going to be here.” He pulled you for a quick yet passionate kiss. “I’m still going to be here, I promise.”

“You better be,” you laughed off your sadness, wiping the tears off your cheeks. “Just stay until I fall asleep. You can go home after.” You closed your eyes and snuggled up to his body warmth. “I love you, Ben.”

“I love you too,” he took slow deep breaths, adjusting his posture for better comfort as he held you.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

You haven’t seen him in two weeks. Not a word from Ben. You kept your window ajar and the lock flipped up. You gave him opportunities to see you, but he hadn’t taken any of them yet. You tried to understand, but you didn’t expect any of this to happen. He promised he’d still be there, but you hadn’t seen him. The two weeks stretched out to three and three turned into four. You showed up at Griddy’s Doughnuts from time to time, and there was no sign of him. You gave up. You didn’t want to wait any longer. He left and didn’t have the heart to properly break it off so instead, he gave you false hope.

That was until October 1st rolled around. You spent the day off at home alone. Your parents were working, busy with their jobs. It was like any regular old day.

Or so you thought.

The knock from your front door bounced off the walls. This day was the last and only day that you had hopes for.

Today was the day Ben turned eighteen.

You rushed to the front door, swinging it open with a smile, “hey, Klaus! Happy birthday!” You stepped out and looked left and right. “Is Ben with you?”

“Not exactly,” Klaus rocked back and forth between his heels and toes. “Can I come in?”

“Yes, of course. Come on.” You ushered them inside, “where’s Ben?”

“Uh…” he took a seat on the couch, motioning for you to sit across from him. “It’s kind of complicated.” He took a heavy breath, scratching the back of his neck as he tried to find his words.

“Just spit it out already,” Ben said, leaning against the wall behind you.

Klaus glared at him.

“Something wrong?” You noticed his facial expression change, looking behind you before back at them.

“No, no, it’s all good. All good,” he leaned back, sighing once more. The atmosphere was dense, he kept looking back and forth between you two.

“Klaus!” Ben was getting impatient.

“Okay! Okay!” Klaus sat up straight then leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “Ben wanted to tell you that he’s sorry that he didn’t spend as much time with you as he promised.”

“Ben said that?” You leaned back, arms crossed over your chest. “Why couldn’t he tell me himself? Why did he send you?”

Klaus paused, mouth agape before pursing their lips. “He’s dead.”

He said that so nonchalantly that it didn’t process, “dead?” You scanned your living room, waiting for Ben to pop out from somewhere and tell you that it was some silly prank. “Funny, Klaus. Where is he?”

“No, Y/n you don’t understand.” His head fell into his hands. “Ben died on a mission two weeks ago.” He looked at the ghost that stood behind you, “and he’s sorry. He’s sorry since… y’know, he can’t be here with you. I don’t know why he’s so apologetic, it’s not his fault he died or anything.”

All of this was still too much to process. You were in shock, in heavy denial. “Ben?” You looked at Klaus as if they were a massive liar. “Like… Ben Hargreeves. He died? Two weeks ago?”

“Yeah,” they rubbed their hands together, frowning. “I’m sorry you found out this way.”

“No,” your voice instantly broke and tears spilled out of your eyes as if they were on command. You wiped the oncoming them away with the sleeves of your sweater. You tried to stop them but they kept going. The ache in your heart never stopped, it still hasn’t recovered from the last time you saw him. Hearing this news and knowing you wouldn’t see him again was heart-rending. “No, no, no. Klaus, you’re playing a sick game. You’re getting too good at this shit.” You laughed, leaning back on the couch with your sleeved hand over your eyes. “Please stop it, you little shit. This isn’t funny.”

“I’m not lying! Do you think I’d lie about something like this? My brother’s death? Y/n… it hurts me as much as it hurts you. Ben is gone.” Klaus stayed strong for you, he didn’t show signs of weakness or sorrow. They already spent all of that within the first week, they didn’t need to cry again.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You buried your head in your hands, biting on your bottom lip to ease the pain and keep it together. “You've got to be fucking kidding me.”

Ben could see it. He could see how hard you tried to keep it in. He could hear the heartbreak in your voice and the pain in your body language. He moved from behind you to in front of you. He wanted all of this to stop, he wanted your suffering to end. Watching you lament felt like he was shot through the heart.

“I’m sorry,” Ben said, “I really am.” His voice quavered, “I wish things were different, but I did what I thought I had to do.” He reached out to touch your cheek, only for his hand to glow blue as it passed right through you. “If you could see yourself the way I do, then you’d know how much I love you. You’d know how sorry I am, you’d know how much I m-miss you.” He reached out again, but the same thing happened. “I’d do anything to hold you one last time.” He couldn’t bear to speak anymore, his voice cracked and he had to wipe the tears from his eyes. “You don’t deserve any of this.” But he kept talking. He hoped that a miracle would happen, he wanted you to hear him. “Y/n please… please, please. I love you. I love you, please I need you to know.” He reached out to pull you into an embrace, only to feel emptiness in his arms.

“Ben loves you,” Klaus said.

“I know.” You began to question your own statement. You began to question what Ben told you before he left. “Jesus Christ.” You whispered under your breath and stood up, walking right through Ben as you made your way out of the living room. “Klaus just- just leave.”

“But, Y/n—“

“Klaus leave.” Your voice was as sharp as a blade. “Don’t make me say it a third time.” You turned to them with slanted eyebrows. “Leave.”

“I’ll see you around, okay?” Klaus waved as he walked towards the exit. “I’ll see you some other day. Take care of yourself, please.”

You didn’t respond and walked to your bedroom. The second you got in there the door slammed shut. You slid down the wall and tried your hardest to control your breathing, but nothing you did could help. Your hands shook violently as a scream ripped your vocal cords.

Ben’s heart shattered. The agony behind your voice was enough to break him to pieces. He sat on the other side of the door with tear-stained cheeks. If he knew that four weeks ago would be the last time he’d hold you, he’d hold you tighter. If he knew that four weeks ago would be the last time he’d talk to you, he wouldn’t have stopped talking until the both of you were passed out. He would’ve stayed by your side until the sun rose and you opened your eyes.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

Being Reginald Hargreeves's child isn't easy. Constant training, missions left and right, it all seems endless and you'd never have a normal childhood. His children have several ways of coping.

Klaus sneaks out of the house to go to teen parties where he overindulges in alcohol and pumps drugs into his veins.

Allison and Luther lock themselves up in a room where they can be alone and undisturbed. This way they can forget about their responsibilities.

Viktor plays the violin because he isn’t special. He isn’t like his siblings, he’s powerless and weak.

Diego seeks attention. Any attention that validates him as a hero is enough to feed his ego.

Ben can no longer hold a pencil or paintbrush the way he used to. All he can do is watch his loved ones suffer and get hurt. Ben’s heart was broken, knowing that he passed on his misery and misfortune to the one he loved most.

Part two? If I write it, it’s going to be a bit more angsty, no fluff, and it’s going to be shorter (hopefully). Tell me if you want to be tagged.

I may or may not already have an idea.

tags: @xenijk @vivsmcdo

307 notes · View notes