#and joey is just in the background watching this unfold like a confused and sad little puppy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elexica · 3 years

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Second Chance Christmas {{ December 23 }}

A family ice skating outing has unintended consequences.

TW: Scars. No reference to how they got there, but there is some subtext. Viewer discretion is advised.

The chapter is under the read more, and on Ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27832405/chapters/68777280

There was something entirely too pleasing about watching the full body crunch that Kaiba did when Joey slammed down the thermos of coffee. The bottle of painkillers was already sitting sentinel in the same position it had been two days prior.

It was almost as entertaining watching Kaiba realize that he was in the guest room and not his study. He blinked and stuttered, visibly recalibrating.

Under the right circumstances, there might not be a living man as quick as Joey’s ex-husband. These were clearly not the right circumstances.

“We’re going ice skating in an hour. If you want to come, I’ll see you in the kitchen.” Joey slammed the door for effect.

Joey thought he heard Kaiba moan through the door, “since when do you ice skate?” but he was too busy moving on with his day.

. . .

For the record, Joey had gone ice skating before on a number of occasions. And even during their marriage, he went at least once every year with the kids. Kaiba simply hadn’t bothered to care enough to keep track of that sort of festive outing—it was exactly the sort of thing that just slid under the radar when they had been together. Not important enough to be the basis of a fight, but exactly the sort of thing where Joey felt more like a single father or the chair of the childcare committee than…

Well, it had been hard to watch all the couples gracefully rounding the ice. Holding each other as they caught their partner’s breath. Warm hands in mittens or gloved fingers intertwined.

Last year, Alexis had requested to take lessons in ice skating, and the first introduction program for five-year-olds required that a parent attend.

Alexis could spin around and do a couple more tricks than her dad, but Joey could go pretty fast forward, and could even go backwards if he was focused on it.

Atticus wasn’t exactly a natural at it, but his ballroom dancing lessons had made him pretty confident scooting around with a chair. At one point Joey had foolishly suggested that he might enjoy hockey instead, and had been rewarded with a small musical number about how absolutely uninterested he was in the sport.

In the next Summer, Joey would at least suggest that he try surfing.

“Maybe you’ll be a natural,” Joey offered, more mockingly than not, as he fixed the laces on Kaiba’s ice skates, which the taller man had tied in an ugly knot. The blades were sharp and cold, and the rented pair was jet black. They all but melted into his black exercise pants and charcoal turtleneck. Frankly, with his lean build, he looked like a professional skater—as long as he stayed seated. Kaiba adjusted his glasses over those striking blue eyes—and it made Joey realize he was staring.

Once Kaiba was on his feet, teetering on the blades and holding anything within his significant arm span, it was clear that he was not a professional.

It wasn’t that his husband wasn’t athletic—the man could dominate at yoga, hold his own at the average CrossFit gym, and played an absolutely devilish game of tennis.

But there are just some leisure activities where you only develop the skill through, well leisure. And leisure had never been Kaiba’s specialty.

So he was gripping on to the wall, knuckles as white as the ice that he quivered atop. He tried to approach the situation with dignity, but his eyes were too wide. Fortunately for him, Alexis was spinning around with Atticus. Atticus was trying to convince her that her solo career was not nearly as promising as some sort of brother and sister pairs act.

Joey had half a mind to ditch Kaiba and go for a couple laps, enjoy the wind in his hair. But seeing his ex-husband clutch the wall with a fear Joey hadn’t seen since ancient Egyptian magic was a regular piece of their lives… Well the whole view was equal parts funny and sorta sad.

“You’re gonna have to move your feet, Kaiba. It’s part of it,” Joey offered.

One hand glued to the wall, Kaiba inched one foot forward.

He did not topple, surprising himself.

“Alright, now you move the other one.”

A small measure of success was found.

“Now if you bend your knees that might help with the balance…” Joey unconsciously offered an arm.

Kaiba evaluated it, like he was calculating whether Joey’s forest green wool Christmas sweater was clean enough.

“I can leave you, or I can show you how it’s done,” Joey added.

Kaiba took a deep inhale, closing his eyes, almost seeming to meditate on what to do. And then Joey felt those familiar long fingers loop over his bicep. Kaiba’s grip was warm and sturdy. Somehow it was steadying, even if the man himself was shaking somewhat. It felt simultaneously like a huge risk and like he was finally safe.

Having that spark of warmth circling his arm was just a little heartbreaking. It made all of the untouched parts of his body feel colder.

“I assume that you have to start moving, Jounouchi?” Kaiba prompted snidely. Fuck, Joey thought, how am I not supposed to stare at him.

As Joey began to propel them forward, he had a much harder time staring. The wind ruffling Kaiba’s smooth brown hair, flecks of grey disappearing into the wind with the first snowflakes that started to patter down, the surprise in his eyes as he reacted to Joey’s increase in speed.

With a few more careful strokes, their speed evened off to a fast clip. For a few seconds, they just glided together.

Out of seemingly nowhere, Kaiba laughed. Mouth open and face entirely illuminated. “We’re really going!” Kaiba announced, as if he had never expected that they would actually go fast at all.

Joey’s heart skipped a beat, and he was lost in the speed too. They were in their own icy world, just the two of them.

And they nearly collided with the glass wall of the ice rink. Joey came to his senses first, and caught the wall before Kaiba could even react. They came to a screeching halt, Joey’s skates cutting into the ice as he tried to brake.

They both separated, each man catching his respective breath. Joey thought Kaiba was glowing in a way he had not seen in years.

And the look in Kaiba’s eyes as he returned to Joey—it was something between love and trust and vibracane. Something a little bit like worship and a lot like magic. It was a bit like the way that Kaiba had looked over at him after their first time.

The realization that for as much as Kaiba had to offer, Joey had something to show Kaiba too.

Paired with the slight flush of his cheeks, and the snow that just started to fall, lightly crowding the background with little white flakes, Joey couldn’t help himself. With one gloved hand over Seto’s blushing cheek, he guided Seto’s chin down, and their lips together.

It was the perfect warm kiss. It made everything more comfortable, softer. The world faded out to a soft haze. Joey closed his eyes, like if he couldn’t see the world continue moving them maybe he could stay in that peaceful moment forever.

Just as Joey realized he should have pulled away, he felt Kaiba press further, and deepen the kiss just a little. He tasted like peppermint and coffee.

The moment could have lasted forever. Just little snowflakes trapped in the air, frozen in time.

“Dad?!”

Shit.

Kaiba pulled away immediately, eyes flaring wide. Joey didn’t doubt that his own face looked the same—like he had been shocked by a loose wire, like his hair was standing on end.

Atticus’s follow up was so innocently curious. “Are you and—”

“No.” Kaiba cut him off, harsher than Joey expected and certainly harsher than Atticus had prepared for. “That was nothing.”

Kaiba pushed off of the wall and glided for a few feet before he realized that even after his adventure… he still couldn’t skate. With one stutter in his step, Kaiba’s left skate caught on a gash in the ice and he was flat on his ass.

Joey felt for the guy, under his confusion and frustration. Joey made moves to go over to help, but Kaiba shot back, “You’ve done enough.”

With a bit more humiliating grappling, Kaiba made it to the rink wall, and edged his way back to the gates.

Joey thought he heard someone nearby muse aloud, “Is that Seto Kaiba?” but everything but watching the slow motion train wreck in front of him faded out.

. . .

The car ride home was awkward.

Kaiba, the inventor of the “bitter sulk” angled as much of himself toward the window as possible. He looked like he could really climb out of it, if only he wasn’t strapped down by his seatbelt.

Unfortunately for Kaiba, although some people were willing to maintain a tense and respectful silence, Atticus was nine and he had a lot of thoughts.

Right now, especially, he had a lot of questions.

“So, are you getting back together?” He asked, after Kaiba had only been able to brood for about five minutes of the car ride home.

“No,” Kaiba answered, resolute.

“But you were kissing each other. Like Prince Eric and Ariel, or—”

“Sometimes adults do that.” Kaiba interrupted, before Atticus could demonstrate his impressive memorization of Disney princesses.

“Adults in loooove,” Atticus cooed.

“Atticus, Oto-san is right, sometimes that sort of thing happens and it’s just—”

Alexis interrupted softly, “Are we going to be a family again?”

The question hung in the air for a few tense moments.

Kaiba unfolded from the passenger seat.

“Alexis, we have always been a family,” Kaiba began slowly, seriously. “We never stopped being a family.”

Kaiba took a deep breath, giving Joey the opportunity to intercede. But Joey declined and just let Kaiba finish saying his piece.

“We have always cared about and loved each other, even though we no longer live all together. That is what a family is. In that way, we are always a family, no matter what.” And to punctuate the end of his speech and signal that no, he would not be taking questions, Kaiba pressed play on his phone, triggering the Chipmunks Christmas album and releasing screeching tree-rodent holiday ballads throughout the car.

. . .

Kaiba disappeared the second they got into the house. Once Joey was done settling everyone in, he decided he might as well hunt for his ex-husband and actually sort out what, exactly, had happened at the rink.

Joey was shocked to find the study empty. Kaiba’s work laptop sat there, abandoned. The decanter of whiskey was no more depleted than it had been the night before.

It was only four p.m. It seemed impossible that the relatively mellow day of ice could have exhausted his ex-husband to that degree. All through those real struggles and tough times, and Joey still hadn’t known his ex to go to bed before midnight.

Joey knocked softly on the door to the guest room. He heard a low groan in response. That could mean anything. Joey hadn’t really remembered walking in on his ex-husband doing anything… interesting… before. Maybe he had fallen in the shower or something?

“Kaiba? You okay in there?”

“I’m fine.” The strangled tinge in his voice made it quite clear that it wasn’t the case.

“Ya don’t sound like it. I’m comin’ in, better be decent.” Of course, Joey thought, it wouldn’t be anything he hadn’t seen before. Or anything he wouldn’t mind seeing again.

What was actually waiting for him was an unfamiliar sight to Joey. Kaiba, still dressed in his ice skating outfit, faced down on his bed. Just lying there, as if he had been struck by lightning and was just stuck there.

“Kaiba?” Joey’s voice was concerned and warm, and maybe a bit sadistically curious.

Kaiba growled in response.

“What… what happened?”

Kaiba sighed directly into the pillow. “It’s… my back. I must have… fallen the wrong way when ice skating.”

If there was any further explanation, it was drowned out by Joey’s cackling laughter.

“It’s not funny,” Kaiba huffed into the pillow. “And, it’s your fault.”

Joey climbed on to the bed, planning his knees on either side of Kaiba’s enviably sculpted torso. “Alright, alright. Shirt off.”

Kaiba snapped his head to the side, just enough to be able to side-eye his ex. “Excuse me?”

“Eh, your back is jacked up. I’m not wrapping all the presents by myself. Ya want me to fix it or not?” Joey’s hands crept along Seto’s spine. Even over his shirt it was divine enough for Seto to lose his stoic sensibilities and released an actual moan.

It wasn’t lost on Joey that it was probably the first time in the last few years someone had touched Seto affectionately, with the exception of their ill-advised liaison the first night and the precious kiss on the ice rink.

Within seconds, Kaiba’s arms had withdrawn to his core, and he began to remove the shirt from where it was pressed against the bed. Shucking off the top, Kaiba kept his eyes trained on the pillow ahead of him.

“Just because you really did procrastinate on preparing for Christmas,” Kaiba rationalized aloud, muffled by the pillow.

“Yeah, sure Kaiba.” Joey rolled his eyes, even though Kaiba couldn’t see it. But he couldn’t deny that he didn’t mind the … angle.

Joey tried to keep himself from drooling. Was it really that necessary for Kaiba’s back muscles to be chiseled? No one could even see them from under all those jackets.

Joey reached forward to knead at the juncture between Kaiba’s spine and shoulder blades, hands perfectly symmetrical on either side. He was instantly rewarded with another low groan.

“I forgot how good at this you are,” Kaiba said, his voice muffled by the pillow.

Joey laughed easily. He almost responded I forgot how much better I like you when you’re face down, but his better angels won the day. And instead, he just reached up to squeeze at the top of Kaiba’s insanely tense shoulders, around the point where they met his neck. “Jeez, this feels more like bones than muscles.”

Kaiba didn’t have a witty rejoinder, and with another breathy exhale it was clear his brain was reduced to mush anyway.

“You’re always too fucking stressed,” Joey said, mostly to himself, his hands venturing lower once again. His left thumb found another knot just below Kaiba’s unnecessarily sculpted shoulder blade.

The muffled response emanating from the pillow sounded a lot like “I know,” but Joey decided it was probably something a few shades meaner. Maybe some comment about how that wasn’t news.

Kaiba’s skin felt amazing under Joey’s hands. It was just like he remembered—jarringly soft and warm, laced with scars that Joey still lacked the full detail on. Joey’s warm hands continued to explore lower, reaching toward the bottom of Kaiba’s spine. At the contact, Kaiba practically yelped.

“Oh, shit, did that hurt?” Joey asked, quickly removing his hands.

“It’s fine,” Kaiba said, lifting his head from the pillow.

Joey rested his hand over the critical area. “It’s alright. I can go gentle.”

“I said it’s fine.” Kaiba grumbled.

“I don’t want to hurt you! It’s supposed to feel nice.” Joey ran his hand back over the offending area, the skin trembling under his touch.

“Do what you want,” Kaiba said with a resolved huff, dropping his head into the pillow. Joey wondered exactly what his ex-husband thought he was accomplishing by being such an ass.

“Why can’t you just be easy to…” Joey let his voice trail off as he focused on soothing the sore spot, before moving higher on his partner’s back. “…take care of,” Joey finished.

After a few minutes of silence, Joey touched a familiar spot. Kaiba’s sigh into the pillow was a bit of a relief from the tension, and Joey swirled his thumb into the tense muscle.

Joey ghosted his hand along a raised white line that spanned Kaiba’s back from one shoulder to the other. “It doesn’t look like you’ve kept up with the scar cream. They haven’t improved since the last time I saw these,” Joey said, trying to sound casual. In reality, it was somewhat disturbing to him. Kaiba’s whole “unaffected” act had been pretty persuasive.

That moment when Joey spotted him in the airport, looking so untouched by time and hardship, so unperturbed by their dissolution, had crystalized everything that Joey had feared. That none of their relationship had stuck to Kaiba in the least, none of it had mattered. But as the days had passed—and even today, when Joey was able to spend some time thinking, puzzling over his conversation the night before, it was clear.

“I have not,” Kaiba admitted to the pillow.

“I’m sure we’ve got some you left behind around here. Lemme go look for it,” Joey announced, leaving his position to look though the guest room’s bathroom. It didn’t take long for him to spot it, an unopened jar on a high shelf of the medicine cabinet.

Kaiba hadn’t moved from his position, facing down in the bed. When Joey’s footsteps got closer, Kaiba muttered, “You don’t have to do that.”

Kaiba couldn’t see it from his position, but Joey shrugged. “Naw, I don’t have to. But I might as well, since I’m already here.”

When they were married, it had been something of a post-shower ritual for Joey to help his husband with the scar cream. It was never all that effective, the cuts were too old, and the tissue had healed in a fairly gnarly way. But it felt like a nice way to address everything without having to talk about it. An unspoken source of healing—even if pretty futile.

It was also unbearably intimate, a fact that Joey had somewhat forgotten.

No one else was ever so intimate with Kaiba—and he certainly wouldn’t let anyone else near something so vulnerable. Even now, Joey was somewhat surprised that he had been allowed, running his finger over the raised skin. He was always as gentle as he could be, almost reverent, and he could hear the skimming of his thumbprint grazing his ex’s skin.

Kaiba’s breathing had gone from intentional and deep inhales in response to the massage to a sort of shallowness, as if he was trying to keep his torso from moving and unsettling Joey. Joey drew his finger across an old gash towards the top of his back.

Kaiba’s skin quivered under the cool cream, and it was almost overwhelming. Joey tried to finish the rest of them quickly, old feelings bubbling in his chest too strongly. The familiar smells and touches were too potent.

Kaiba’s breathing slowed even more, completely controlled, and he stopped shivering at the touches.

“All done,” Joey announced, maybe too quickly, as he sealed the little jar and dismounted. He was a little sorry that it was already over. “If you need more help, just ask.” He added as he put the jar away. “And if you feel up to it, come and help me wrap stuff in… the bedroom.” It was so hard not to say our bedroom, with Kaiba lying there, shirtless, vulnerable, still devastatingly beautiful.

But Joey walked out anyway.

Kaiba didn’t understand a request that wasn’t a rejection. Everything was either negotiable or not—he couldn’t give an inch, even to save a mile.

But it had hurt him. Somewhere, deep and integral to the very fabric of his partner… maybe everything had stuck.

. . .

Freshly chopped parsley, bay leaf, onion, and chicken swirled in the pot, the delicate aromas wafting up. The kids were busy coloring in pictures—Alexis perfectly within the lines, and Atticus with absolutely no regard for them.

The magic of chicken noodle soup seemed to drag Kaiba off his back and into the kitchen. Joey noticed he looked a little sad, and very tired. The echoes under his eyes were somehow more pronounced than they had been earlier in the day. He was also shockingly in sweat pants and one of Joey’s PTA t-shirts that had been though the wash so many times it was both incredibly soft and one pull away from turning itself into shreds. It hung somewhat loose around his waist, but damn… the man really could pull off anything.

“Need any help?” Kaiba asked, further confirming that the chicken noodle soup possessed some magical properties.

Joey handed over the celery and the knife, silently offering Kaiba the cutting board.

“You feeling better?” Joey asked, placing a tender hand on Kaiba’s lower back, where the pain had been. He could feel Seto lean into the embrace, electrifying Joey from within. The connection felt powerful, and for the first time in a very long time, Joey felt almost in synch with the man.

“Yes, thank you,” Kaiba said, with a crisp sort of politeness that added to the oddly warm encounter. The whole thing seemed a little precious, and part of a moment that should have belonged to another couple. Other people who’s lives hadn’t been tinged with sadness, and with so much loss and struggle.

For a few seconds, maybe, Kaiba really was giving Joey just what he wanted. Peace, attention, love.

Joey knew, from experience, that these things couldn’t last.

But as Seto passed him a spoonful of promising chicken noodle soup, it seemed like maybe he could pretend. Just until Christmas.

#my fic #seto kaiba #Kaiba Seto #Jounouchi Katsuya #Joey Wheeler #puppyshipping #Violetshipping #this fic was almost named Painkiller and I hope you can see why LOL #THANKS FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID NICE THINGS IN THE TAG #Y'all make my heart full

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