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burrowingkelce · 2 months

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Hi all I'm back.

So I have a lot to unpack here some sad, some happy.

Unfortunately, my best friend, Robin passed away May of 2023. She had breast cancer and went into hospice not too long after I visited her at our friend's house.

I've decided to keep riding at my old barn and quit the new one because the lady was getting rude and was only judging me when I was just doing what I thought was correct. Others were doing what I was doing and they didn't get corrected.

I adopted another cat (no surprise there) so now I have 3.

We got our heads out of water with our finances. Slowly, but surely, were getting back on our feet.

I started a welding job with my neighbor. And I'm taking an internship for my senior year this summer.

I broke up with my toxic ex boyfriend and haven't been with anyone else. I'm taking time for myself to think of I'm ready to love another man or stay in my delulu world of these celebrities I can't have haha.

I have a crush on one guy who's 4 years older than me (21) so I might shoot my shot later this year.

Im gonna be honest with y'all, that about it. I promised a Cowboy Travis Kelce and dammit I'm gonna give it to you. I'm going to get right to work on it soon. I love you all and haven't forgotten a single one. Have a blessed/good day, whichever you prefer!

#joe burrow #joe burrow fluff #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow bengals #jim hopper #travis kelce fic #travis kelce #taylor and travis

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border-spam · 3 years

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-- Uroboros log - Encrypted E-Call - Or8cle / S0litar3 - source Commercial trade vessel ID 122-J-Prom / Cpt - Seifa A’rosk / SAVED blame=GKT --

(Mid CoV, Ven belongs to @hieroglyphix and JK to @godkingsanointed)

See - I mean of all hthe things. Of all the things you coudl have warned me about in the last what. 4 years now of this? Of telling each other things tht mattered? You could have said nt to take a swing at Troy's stupid fucking face.

See - Hurts so much to type this. God excuse the typos tbh im not doing grea t.

See - I got everything I need tho I'm gd. Take it you know where IM heading yeah? Figure as much at least. I hope this was the right call, Ven. I really hope this was the right choice. Weird cause ive run this through so many times in my head u kno? Wexactly stept by step what I'd do what would happen where I’d go. Shit packed up and stored for a year now, but hey you do actually know that, huh.

See - Feles like my stomach is gone, dropped out of me somewhere back in the cathedral or something. Feels like imnot really here like this whole thing is a dream and I'll waitke up at my desk with a 20 messages I cba reading and a pot of takeout noodles one of you left for me. This doesn’t feel real but it is aint it. Nothing outside the hull cept empty space and silence.

See - Never thought I'd hatee silence, Ven. Wish you were here filling it.

See - Look after JK. Watch out fo rthem. please. Eli is good I;m not worried, you always got Eli, Eli will outlive me I think, probably all of us with how loved he is. But watch out for JK primise me. They love Troy so much that they'll try and pull the monster off his back and that thing is going to be screaming now, Ven. That thing is going to be looking fo sr someone to rip in half and it's not me anymore stanidng in the way of it because I couldn't do it anymore.

See - I'm so fucking sorry man I couldn't do it. Not anymore. I coldnt. Put it off for so long but he was taking everything I had and there was so little left, and then what WAS left he .. he hurt tonight so bad.

See - Been crying for hours now bit Im not really crying you know? tears just dripping down. Can't stop them. Stupid really, eyes hurt.

See - Ven you ever think how funny it would be if verything had been juwt that bit different? Like not this not the COV. Us tho we could have. Like think about it we'd be unstoppable, me and you hahaha. We'd run this fucking galazuy if we wanted, can you imagine. Some bar somewhere we own with a lil casino, luck always somehow on our side? PAir of us could have wrapped anyone we wanted round our fingers we'd be a joke. We'd be terrifying. Could have owned shithoels like Pandora with a little time and a little work. Scam the riches off all those bastards, fucking XAN, oh my god. Leave the prick with nothing, man it would have been so eASY for me and you. Just me and you.

See - Could have saved some kids. Worn ourselves as who we were proud and free not hidden under rules and titles and whatever the hell kind of fake Gods we tried to walk the paths of. It would have been funny wouldn't it Ven, me and you.

See - But Then I think, you know? About how that affects everything tlese. Eli? Without this life Eli wouldn't be here would he. Not now.

See - God sorry, my hand is killing me I'm putting on speech to text.

See - Would JK be alive? Would they have found their lady and their family at all without that cancerous bullshit of a life we joined.

See - And with what he is now still, Troy wouldn't. I know that. Maybe Ty would be, and idk if she would even be something I could CALL Ty, but he'd be dead. I don't know if what I am is worth that. If like. My happiness in some other life, some other choices, is worth all these losses.

See - Maybe that's what it means to care, right? Me and you we get that, don't we. Caring so much about people you want to tell yourself you don't need but you deep down know damn well you'll fade away without. Maybe it means you always sacrifice yourself in the end, your choices, what you could be, what someone else could be with you, all for the people you find yourself loving.

See - Ven I am very drunk right now this was meant to dull the pain till I got base side but whew.

See - Wish this thing had emojis

See - :ass:

See - aww man.

See - Listen.

See - Don't hate him. I think maybe you already can't because you knew, all along, warned me what 2 years ago? Knew and I still saw the way you'd look at him like he was that kind of horrifically embarrassing younger teen brother who's insisted on hanging out with your friends and is SO cringe but you all kinda love him anyway? I know that haha. Don't hate him. You had a terrible life, but Ven, he's had none. Nothing.

See - Idk how much he's told you really, it's not for me to tell, and if you don't know everything, like how they grew up, what happened when they first got here, the things he had to do to make sure she would be happy? Find out. Wait till the monster subsides and he's broken and alone and just. Take that chance. Find out.

See - No one ever really understood why I put up with it all for as long as I could, and I guess I still sound like a moron rn when ur reading this. But if you know, I think you'll understand.

See - Cause me and u Ven. We are so close. man. We are so the same. You're better than I could ever be, but you understand who I am, and if you can understand who I am, you'll understand why I can’t give up on him once you know.

See - Tell E I love him so much. I'll be off grid for a while, gimme a week ok, and then I'll send a vid call and we can all talk.

See - Sorry I won't make it tonight.

See - Sorry, Ven.

-- Encrypted contact ends --

#borderlands #borderlands 3 #bl3 #troy calypso #tyreen calypso #calypso twins #seifa #leech lord #my hcs #my writing #oc: ven #oc: jak-knife #jak-knife #ven

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actuallykiwi · 4 years

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Yeah, so no one is ever gonna send in asks, so imma do this cause I love these. Bite me

S I G H T

1. Baby blue/periwinkle, yellow, and pink (in that order)

2. Olive and army green. Blech

3. Yes, I've worn glasses since 6th grade

4. Nope

5. My phone? Tumblr? Stuff and things

S O U N D

6. Imagine Dragons, Lindsey Stirling, Hozier, For King & Country, anything electronic and I'm a sucker for cinematic soundtracks

7. OOF, umm.... My favorite song is Walking the Wire-Imagine Dragons, then Headphones-Britt Nicole, Wasteland Baby!-Hozier, Walking on Sunshine-Katrina & the Waves, and Home-Philip Philips

8. Don't quite understand the question, but anything electronic, whether original song, remix, etc., but I adore mashups as well (if that counts)

9. A good thunderstorm, keyboard typing (odd, right?), ocean waves, forest sounds, and children laughter (especially babies UGH)

10. *EDITED BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT SAID WEARING PFFFT* My ceiling fan, can't sleep without it

S M E L L

11. I can be, but due to getting a stuffy nose a lot, I tend to take great big whiffs when I smell something, so it can be harsh at times. (Especially with a gassy bf)

12. Lemon, coconut, strawberry, vanilla, and gasoline. Hoooo yeah boi, I could get high from that smell

13. Do not care for it. Makes my eyes water

14. As of right now, honey. My other conditioner smells like roses

15. LOVE perfume. I don't put layers of it on though, unless it's just not strong. I have one bottle that isn't very strong, and one that two small sprits does the trick

T A S T E

16. Strawberries and watermelon. Grapes are okay too

17. Tough tie between sweet tea and Code Red Mountain Dew

18. THOSE STUPID BEAN-BOOZLED JELLY BEANS. ESPECIALLY THE FREAKING BABY WIPES FLAVOR, IT IS HORRID

19. LOL I have stories. My northerner friends got me to try peanut butter sandwiches dipped in chili. It's.. not horrible, tbh. But I don't regularly do that, so. BUT whats really good is some French fries dipped in vanilla ice cream or whipped cream. MM LAWD YES

20. Peppermint and spearmint.

T O U C H

21. It depends how uncomfortable it is. Most of the time, no

22. Chalkboards. I cannot write on them or brush my hand across them. Also cannot handle stickiness or a lot of gel-like substances. "Sticky and wet makes mommy upset" -Mrs. Benson, iCarly

23. HAHA NOPE

24. Gosh I've had so many. Uhhh, probably my current ravenclaw sweatpants. And I used to have a pink fuzzy north face jacket, and I attracted crowds with how soft that thing was.

25. HECK YES I GIVE REAL HUGS, NOT THAT "PAT PAT" BUSINESS!! YOU WANT YOUR BACK POPPED?? GET OVER HERE, BRO I GOTCHU

O T H E R

26. I do actually! I have this keen awareness of when people are upset, even when they don't show it. Body language, slight change of voice, I can catch anything that seems off about someone. I've been told this looooong before I ever self-proclaimed it. I've been a slight therapist to people that noticed me noticing.

27. Not really? But I have dejavu a LOT. I think my parallel universe self and I are close.

28. Only in fortune cookies. Honestly don't remember most of them, but my sister predicted my birth?? So that's cool?

29. Not really, but even though my sister is 7 years older than me, we have a twin-like mindset. We know exactly what the other is feeling and, yes, complete each other's thoughts and sentences. We've been told it's terrifying.

30. Yes, twice. Not trying to force religion down anyone's throat, but they were both at church. Years ago, I actually saw a woman toss her walker to the floor and start dancing after years of struggling with major arthritis (?) and other body pains. And the other was just a couple years ago: a man that spent most of his life blind got his vision back after his wife passed away from cancer. And I know plenty of people that have recovered from that.

So that's that! If you read all that, thank you, and I promise to read yours if you share as well. :)

#sensory asks #learn about me #no one was gonna ask anyways so #why not #actuallykiwi

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