#and want thin mints

[caterpillarinacave]

y’all I just got the MOTHERLOAD of all pastries

#I have not eaten this much in months #My aunt found a cool bakery like an hour away so we made it this whole thing #I stay over at her house we leave at 5:30 #We buy donut for her students (12 or 15) #then the following: #Two homemade pop tarts two tag-a-long Girl Scout cookie donuts 2 thin mint GS donuts a French cruller with vanilla frosting a caramel role #3 plain cake donut one cake donut with chocolate frosting one chantilly cream mousse cake four macarons in espresso chocolate rasberry and #Black berry (I wanted lemon but panicked and said rasberry) a ham and cheese croissantFollowed by two loafs of bread and an orange spice te #And McDonald’s Hashbrowns #To be clear this is all being shared and my aunt planned to spend a decent chunk of money #It was something like 112 bucks? #Not as bad as I thought tbh #We had four boxes of baked goods. Four. Boxes. #You know what I eat every other day of my life? A bowl of yogurt in the morning and a bowl of veggies with egg at night #I don’t usually consume the amount of calories I just ate in a week #Mutuals sending you pastries #So early morning roads showing up at peoples doors and handing them treats + tea? Pretty much perfect

[cheapcheapfaker]

okay i will say though, things not on my pregnancy bingo: my armpits started hurting and when i curiously looked up if that could, for some ungodly reason, be a pregnancy side effect.

one, it IS a side effect

two, it’s because there’s MAMMARY TISSUE in there. ACCESSORY BREAST TISSUE. titty tissue lurks in your armpits.

and three. THREE. You may fucking leak MILK from there. You may have MILKY PITS. If the odds are not in my favor my sore armpits may EXCRETE MILK.

#the bean #not baby but preg related ig. #the thing about pregnancy is that you can go to your obgyn #and say hey. my pussy is kind of dry and also its playing the sounds of the wailing damned #and they’d be like oh yeah. thats fine. that’s normal. 1% chance. it happens. #hormones are insane. hormones literally can make our body do anything. up to and including milk pits i guess #anyway have you guys seen those aluminum free deoderants in those weird ass smells like Girl Scout cookies #i think they’re specifically made for people who armpit feed tbh #i cant think of any other reason why id want my pits to smell like thin mints

[hawnks]

do you ever think about that soft distinctive hum hawks would make like the soft tune right under his breath when you catch him off guard and he realizes he wants you so badly he's going to have to control himself even if youre in public

WAHHHHHHHH

#His Noises #little bird man noises #holds your hand just a lil too tight for the rest of the evening #catches his eyes straying to the thin straps of your top every few minutes #wants to chew on your shoulder just there #cute aggression #wants to gnaw on you a lil #waggghhhh #🥺 #mint talks

[hidefdoritos]

.

#disordered eating and PTSD stuff in the tags #I think that eating is maybe a safe strategy for me #like I can assure myself that I'm at ease and my basic needs are met #problem being that now as I'm getting counseling and digging everything up #I'm having all kinds of nightmares and flashbacks and sleeping like garbage #so I've been eating. uh. a lot. #some days are better than others #but I've had some legendary binge days lately #which is starting to show on my body #got a pair of jeans that isn't buttoning atm #and I feel fan-fucking-tastic abt that tyvm #and the body image issues bleed into the trauma #(maybe if I was *ugly* he wouldn't have touched me) #(maybe if I'm *uglier* they'll never touch me again) #(and maybe if I'm the *ugliest* then I'll just die alone) #lots and lots and lots of body image issues #desperate to be attractive enough to be loved BUT repulsive enough to be feared #anyway I'm lying awake after a nightmare eating thin mints and noticing the handfuls of fat on my body #which I think is incredible and captivating on anyone else but still judge myself so harshly for #maybe this is a testament to how badly I want to be alive.

[secundus-cinaedus]

i missed girl scout cookie season this year and my fat ass is genuinely still so sad about it

#my internal cookie clock is like ''where are the cookies mate we're overdue'' #gotta wait another 6 months now... #i just want some thin mints with a cup of coffee #щ

[adrenaline-void]

screw your zodiac sign, what’s your go-to girl scout cookie?

#girl scouts #cookies #camp counselor #camp #just a reminder for everyone #cookie season is starting soon #so go support the tiny capitalistic children #i have learned far more about someone from their cookie order then i ever have from their zodiac #like #old men mostly want the lemon ones and trefoils #lemon because it goes well with their coffee and trefoils because it reminds them of their youth #the cliche popular girls split exactly one box of thin mints #because it's a classic #and one time i did have a girl ask me if they would make her thinner #i said yes #i wanted the money #don't judge me for my poor morals as a ten year old #the drunk people at the golf tournament always want samoas #like they all want samoas #and the taxi drivers driving their asses home want tagalongs #they have good taste

[ahaura]

not to be rude but we have been waiting 20 minutes...

#hvaña #ma'am i want to go get girl scout cookies before public school lets out i NEED thin mints like air rn

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

on hold with the county council...... i can feel the last shreds of my sanity slipping away..... their hold music is one singular piece of classical music played over and over, occasionally jarringly stopped for someone to tell me my call is important but to fuck off online instead...... it's been 35 minutes.........

#i want to punch someone #if i could do this online i WOULD 😭 don't u understand that???? this is my only option 😭 #but every 5 minutes they tell me to ''save time and go online instead!'' #shaking the bars of my cage #this might be my last straw. my thirteenth reason. my wafer thin mint....... #🧃

[especially-the-beans]

#girl scout cookies #poll #mostly want to see how big a margin thin mints gets lol

[crowrelli]

"Thin mint shake" this is PINE SOL. this is TREE. this is SHOE CLEANER

#i got a new cake pen a while back and i swear this shit is pinesol #its like smoking a fucking pine needle #i had the chery crumble and it was amazing but this one is disgusting #i wanted thin mint shake!!!!!!!!! #ugh #tw drug use

[underwhelmingalchemist]

Becoming a girl scout cookie dealer was not on my 2023 bingo card, but I'm not complaining

#to be clear i'm not reselling them or anything #i just have friends in different regions and countries that want me to send them cookies they don't have #so basically i'll be rolling up to booths when they open and being like 'hey can i just have like... a case of thin mints

[dying-suffering-french-stalkers]

outsourcing my girl scout cookie requests to my parents who live in the Good Cookie Region

#i want PROPER thin mints from the eastern side of the state thank you very much #little brownie bakers supremacy

[a-treatise-on-velociraptors]

Thinking about girl scouts, and how when I was a kid I loved traipsing around the woods and learning how to tie knots and dreaming about going backpacking and bow hunting and roughing it in the wilderness, and I was like "girl scouts! yeah! we'll go camping and learn to shoot a bow and stuff!" and idk if it was just my troop sucking or what, but we never did. The most camping we did was an extremely organized campout at the zoo where the only thing qualifying it as camping was the fact we were in tents. The most we did with archery was read about it. But by god did we do a cooking unit and a sewing unit and spend hours upon hours upon hours competing for prizes by selling cookies door to door.

#*now* i love the kind of stuff we did in girl scouts i love sewing #but as a kid? i fucking hated it #i wanted to learn how to filet a fish not dress in a thin mint costume to try and win a lava lamp #also our troop leader's daughter won nearly every single competitive thing because her mom helped her do stuff it was never fair

[keeps-ache]

was feeling sad but the Home Smell makes everything right

#just me hi #heyy yeahhh #came back from a car ride :) #i was Thinking (we all know how that goes lol) and the sad thoughts were pestering me #and then i step inside home and that Weird and Suspicous Spicy Smell made the world become right again #also- we went to the wall mart and for some reason i was really sensitive to all the mint smells in there?? they made me light-headed :/ #why do trashbags need to smell like mint. what're you putting in that thin fricken bag. a body??? the mint isn't masking that honey #walked by a stand with mint gum and i could Smell It and it sucked lol #it's nooooooooooooot a good smellllll #the fake mint smells like poison trying to be sugar so so bad #it just wants to fool you so bad just take a nibble just a little bite just a small chomp just a bite- #!! BAM !! #THAT'S how it get's ya >:| #and then you die and you get put in a mint-scented trash bag that rips open when you pick it up because you put more than 10 lbs in it :/ #you know what is a good smell though? fake lemongrass #yeah. it still makes me lightheaded and occasionally makes my head hurt. but darn it if it doesn't make me wanna take the biggest whiff- #-in the history of the universe i don't know what does #lavender can burn though. if i could i'd personally eradicate all lavender scented things on the planet. they not good #basil sucks nothing else to say there #ALMOND SOAP IS REALLY REALLY GOOD SMELLING. it makes my hand-texture feel weird buT IT SMELLS REALLY GOOD #i don't even LIKE almonds but oh my STARS. ALMOND SOAP #A L M O N D S O A P #rosemary sucks too #okay done here bye bye :>

[umbral-helianthus]

Just would like to put out there.

Do not ingest xylitol. It should NOT BE IN CANDY OF ALL THINGS.

It's not candy, it's most likely a laxative that I'm pretty sure was concocted in the pits of hell

#xylitol #artificial sweeteners #aspartame and sucrolose you're on thin ice #i just wanted some licorice mints #but no #i get stomach demons

[parmerjohn]

.

#when Sabrina says I wanted thin mints and you said you knew a guy #that’s about buying weed yeah?