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fnf-amateur-writing · 2 years

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I’m back and I’m sorry to bring sadness but I need some comfort because my Christmas went terribly. Could I have some Updike and Sarvente (seperate) with an S/O who feels dejected and upset because of a Christmas gone wrong? Family started fighting and they stayed in their room the entire day. —☕️

Me on my way to bring Hot Beverage Anon some love

TW: Some mild angst with happy ending.

Updike and Sarvente (separate) with S/O upset over bad Christmas

Updike:

You were probably already getting tired by now, and so was Updike. The clock said it was past nine PM, and it was finally time for Updike to get his things together and leave after another long shift on Christmas. But he didn't see it as any sort of setback for his personal life. Since Boxing Day is on Sunday, he can take a short break to spend time with you.

Right as Updike put his phone back in his pocket, he took it out again; he remembered something. You always called him at some point when it was a holiday, wishing him well and saying general sweet words, but not today. But it wasn't surprising you forgot, you were out to spend the day with your parents--along side a dinner shared with the rest of your family.

You were going to stay there overnight, he may as well phone you instead before you sleep. After dialing, the call was almost dropped automatically before you answered on the last second.

"Hello," you said. It sounded like you didn't even check to see who called, since you would normally say "hey" and his name when he called. And there's another thing he picked up on as well: you sounded off, something more than being tired. Sick, maybe? But if you were, he's sure you'd tell him without asking.

"Hello, (Y/N), you didn't call earlier, and I wanted to know how you are doing."

"Fine," you say in a tone that easily exposed your lie, "I was kind of in my old bedroom for most of the time, anyways."

"(Y/N), you don't sound like you're 'fine'," his tone now becoming more serious. Then, to make things more dodgy, you began to speak more quietly. "I just didn't feel that safe out there with the family drama going on, that's all."

You didn't say you weren't feeling good, or you were uncomfortable, but you weren't feeling "safe"? But there wasn't time to ask more questions, because you clearly wanted the conversation to end.

"It's fine, I'll be back in the morning. Love you."

"Love you, too." And that's why he's not letting you stay there for much longer.

~~~

Your anxiety was finally wearing off somewhat, and you maybe could've gotten some sleep, but no, the few relatives that still lingered about the house are yelling again. Now it was starting to get annoying, too, and you had to try and tune them out again. However, you can't tune out an argument when you suddenly hear them scream your name.

Panic took over, what were you supposed to do? Just unlock the door and face hell? But just standing there could make them more angry. In your contemplation, you listened in closer to the door. And there was a bit of hope, and immense shock, when you heard Updike among the yelling. You kept thinking that he didn't have to, especially since his arrival may be more harmful.

However, being that Updike can give people quite the talk-down, you did get the little amount of confidence you needed to slowly crack open the door and walk down to the living room. Maybe you could help him talk it out... No, not that simple in this family. You could only hope for the best now.

Peaking into the living room, Updike noticed you as quickly as you did him. You never seen his hair so dark before he literally lightened up at the sight of you. There wasn't time, now, he was taking you out. "We need to go, come on," he said, grabbing your hand and almost running out the door. "What, I don't even have my phone!" you nearly stutter, no longer paying mind to the swears coming from behind.

"It'll be fine, you need to come home, now." Seeing that you didn't even have your shoes on you, he picked you as well. He was rushing, but he put you in the passenger seat of his car as gently as possible. Even when Updike got in himself, he didn't bother to pause for a breath, he simply started the car and drove as soon as he could. You kept quiet the whole drive, still shaking in some shock, and he decided it was best for him to also stay silent until you two were home.

~~~

"... Do you want any tea?" Updike softly asked, guiding you to the couch.

"Uh, chamomile?" you speak up for the first time in a while. "I'll be right back, dear," he pats your head before leaving. Finally, even without your things, you could actually calm down. And it's about time, too, it's only an hour before midnight. Good thing it's the weekend.

For the next few minutes, you kept thinking about what had happened earlier. Your mind was currently a mess of memories without chronological order. And you didn't snap out until, in which only felt like a minute, Updike came back with a cup of tea. When you took the cup and saucer, he sat right next to you, rubbing your back.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better. Thanks, Gabriel."

It was quiet again, and you didn't see Updike was sort of studying your face as you sipped away. You seemed to be holding some emotions back.

"(Y/N)?"

"Yeah?"

"It's okay to cry, if you need to."

... You needed to hear that.

Sarvente:

You sworn you heard a window get smashed earlier, but you didn't want to leave your room to check; using the bathroom was the only thing you would leave to do. Still, what if that one damn relative found a reason to yell at you the few minutes you left. "But we're a family!" you could already imagine them saying. But family issues don't just work themselves out like a Disney movie.

It was a bit early to sleep, but it was night and the lights were off (to ward off any attention). Plus, sleeping means this mini hell will be over sooner. You were already in bed, so once you pulled the blanket over, you slowly began drifting off. Or that's what you planned until the window in your room started opening.

You immediately sat up, scared, but not knowing what to do. But you sort of calmed down when you recognised the silhouette of an ushanka. It was Ruv, and he looked around briefly before whispering, "why haven't you been to services?"

Crap, you forgot about church! Sarvente must've sent Ruv out to get you. "Ruv, I'm sorry, I--" "Hush, explain it to Sarv," Ruv interrupts, minding the fact your family was still here. He better make it quick before they catch him practically kidnapping you. "Last service in an hour," he says, scooping you out of bed and gong back out the window.

"Hold on, I gotta get dressed!" you whisper yell to him. If the last service is in an hour, than you certainly have time to get changed before then. "She made you an outfit, now shut," he orders. Fine, you kept your mouth shut. But you were still anxious. Family was already off the rails, and now you felt paranoid your girlfriend may yell at you, too.

~~~

"Ruv, are they here?" Sarvente instinctively shouts, from the room she was organising your outfit in, upon hearing the large front doors. She takes a peak into the main room, running over once she caught glimpse of you. Despite your fears, she happily picks you off the ground in an embrace. "Oooohh, bless this holy night!" she said in a sing song tone while squeezing you. "Your skin is freezing. Ruv, I find it sinful you didn't at least share your jacket!" Ruv responds in an uninterested shrug before walking off. You're not his partner.

"Well, sorry I didn't come earlier Sarv, I kind of--"

"Oh, it's fine, dear! Going to church at night does have a nice feel to it."

"No, it's because I had a bad day and forgot," you correct. Sarv's face showed shock; you never just forget to go to church! And how could you be having a bad day when celebrating one of the greatest miracles? "Did you at least remember to eat? You look more thin than usual."

"I did, but I was too scared to go to the kitchen," you mutter. Maybe you were really worried about her worrying too much. You try not to get her involved in your problems, since she can be quite the mom-girlfriend.

"Family problems?" she asked.

"How did you know?"

She sighs, "I see it all the time, every Easter and Christmas. I see so many disarray families that crowd together in a pew just because they think they have to. But if my church isn't a refuge from struggle, then I need to do something. Now," she pecks you on the forehead, "I made a big dinner earlier, and you can have as much as you want. I also made you a cute church outfit as a gift. And during service, I can sit you next to this lovely elderly couple that always goes to evening services. And then..."

"I'm sorry, just a bit of." You wiped your eyes. She really is such a sweetheart. "Are you crying?" You didn't answer, but it was obvious anyways. "I'm happy I got to be with you," you explain. "Sweety," she puts another kiss on your face, "you can always come here. You can even stay, and we would share my bed every night."

You actually smile for once. "Thanks, I think I'll consider that."

#fnf x reader #fnf imagines #updike x reader #sarvente x reader

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toujoursmiraculous · 3 years

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Thoughts and Reaction to Guiltrip!

Alright, so this one is a bit more of a serious one for me. But I'll be going in order of the episode so the more serious talk will be a bit further down! First thing we get is this lovely moment:

I've already addressed it in a post, but I'll say it again here. Guiltrip is episode 11, several episodes take place before Guiltrip that we haven't seen yet, so this is awhile after Marinette and Luka broke up. We also know that Marinette has always had feelings for Adrien, even when she was with Luka. Luka always knew that fact too. None of this is new and is to be expected, obviously, when Love Square is endgame. But! I also want to point out here that this is just a soft look. Very gentle, very common. I see people looking at each other both in real life and in other shows all the time. A look that says "I adore you". And I think it's sweet! Very subtle, but enough. Something's wrong with Rose. We never get told (in this episode anyway) what it is, but it's a chronic illness that's a worry in Rose's life, ever since she was young. I feel really bad for Juleka, knowing that her friend's been struggling with an illness, and whenever something happens she has to worry about it alone. Also that really sucks when you try to cheer somebody up and make a joke, that because you were mislead about a situation you end up making things worse. Poor Marinette. :c Adrien when he realizes he's bumped into someone (and the pink bubbles to remind us of Marinette's feelings for him):

Adrien when he realizes just who it was he bumped into!:

Scroll up now and look at how Marinette was looking at Adrien earlier that day. It's the exact same look. Yet, something feels different from usual to me, idk. But continuing on. Marinette gets slightly jumbled with her words, but manages to give herself a kick and says nope not now! Good for her! You can't expect to change overnight, but she's working on it.

She looks to the side, gathering her surroundings for a split second and she misses the top step. I'd like to say that this is just a joke for the show but well, this kind of thing has happened to me a lot because I'm that much of a klutz so I feel for her here. (On Halloween I forgot that there was another step as I was walking down as I wasn't paying attention. I couldn't walk on my foot for 2 weeks. It's a serious problem, guys. Really. xDD) Marinette had told Adrien she's concerned it was something she said that upset Juleka and Adrien tells her while sometimes she doesn't make sense, what she says is never mean. This scene reminds me of when Ladybug's worried about something and Chat Noir's there to keep her grounded and remind her of how things really are. I very much appreciate seeing such a scene with Adrienette! Makes the Love Square much more rounded. Also the way he stops her and says let him go talk to her to try to help the situation and any possible misunderstandings from taking place. ;-;

Can I just say... oh my gosh. He went from determined, to hearing Marinette trying to comfort her, to looking with confidence "This girl is amazing." and the whole Ladynoir vibe I'm getting from this scene makes me happy. The thing that's unrealistic about this scene though is you expect to tell me that 8 kids went down those stairs and came up behind them and Marinette, Adrien, and Juleka didn't hear? XD Now here's where the serious comes in. Rose is hospitalized with an illness we don't know about, but has been a long-term thing that has Juleka really worried a lot. That must be so stressful :c I'm going to be honest and say I never really saw Julerose romantically. Like I can see how people do, but to me, I could see that their bond was really unique. It didn't really fit completely in the "BFF" category either. But if felt like there was more to them that I didn't really understand. I think the best example off the top of my head was during Zombizou, when Rose was going to help Chloe after she slid down Chat's stick and she went too fast for him to catch her. Juleka seemed especially worried and concerned for her. Rose never seemed to get concerned about Juleka in the same way Juleka was about Rose. Juleka's always been more protective and worried and it was always one of those things that made me go "hmm, interesting". Now this episode finally explains why and I'm honestly super glad for it. Because this kind of a relationship is not a common one in media, especially kids media. Partially because having such serious illnesses in young people is not particularly common, and having someone who's so caring and protective of that person is even less common. And most people probably don't realize how amazing it is to have health problems and then have someone in their life who acts like Juleka does for Rose. I had a life-threatening illness as a kid, one that still affects me greatly today. When in school, my friends knew about it without me having to say anything unfortunately, and while they didn't usually treat me differently, sometimes they were pretty ignorant and didn't understand why I wasn't "normal" like them. They asked questions that were harder ones to answer, and tended to forget my answers. I got a lot of "I know you have X problem but I still don't see why you can't..." as well as thinking I was lying if I said I wasn't well and couldn't go to a party, and that was hard to deal with, being limited in what you can do which makes you different and being judged for things out of your control. So seeing these kids who only know something's wrong with her, but are willing to do so much to make her life better and happier, not judging her at all, wanting to take care of her no questions asked was really heart-warming for me. I only had one friend during that time that was anything close to this. I never had to explain anything to him if I didn't want to. He never asked me personal questions I didn't want to answer. And he seemed to know what he could do to make things for me easier if I was having a hard time without me ever saying so. And this is another reminder to me that this show is aimed at kids. To show kids that they'll likely encounter someone around their age that's going through something serious like a health problem, and what that kid needs most is kindness and not to be made to feel like they're even more different from the other kids than they already feel. The way they handled that aspect of it for such a short, limited intro to it, I think they did good. I discussed this next bit with a friend. She mentioned it first, the trope where those with chronic or serious illnesses are usually an "inspiration". With this episode, you kind of get the feeling that because Rose's been through so much, she's therefore a really positive and bubbly person and it kind of gives off the vibe that if you don't view things the way she does, then you're not doing it right. "What matters isn't the problem, but how you handle it." While I agree with this, and that when you come out of or regularly deal with

such hard times, automatically trying to see the world better and brighter can easily happen, but it's not exactly realistic either, at least not to the extent Rose and other people the media has portrayed. For one, I think you have to have always been more of that kind of person from the start to realistically be so positive. As my friend said and I agree, positivity is just who Rose is, she's not who she is just for the sake of a trope. But honestly, when you've gone through something so difficult, and if life continues to throw you more difficulties on top of it, being positive so much can sometimes turn into a negative and be harmful too. When you've been through a lot, it's important to allow yourself to feel the negative too because it's part of dealing with such problems. And if you've been through a lot in life and you haven't come out of it being all sunshine and rainbows, always looking on the brighter side of things, that's perfectly okay. Life's hard and tends not to work out how we'd like, or even for the better sometimes. If being positive and hopeful after struggling is hard to do, you're not bad or wrong for feeling that way, everybody handles things differently. c: ANYWAY, moving on to the rest of the episode! Juleka being all irritated and worried that the class was going to expose her spilling Rose's secret xD While the situation isn't ideal, it's nice that this is the most involved she's seemed with everyone in the entire duration of the show. But Rose knows something's up, and I love that she talks to her about it and realizes that she should've told everyone herself instead of Juleka being the only one who knew. Which has been such a burden on her. (Oh no, what if this is a reflection of Alya knowing Marinette's Ladybug later on? I'm hoping not.) Ugh these children and how much they care about Rose! These kids are the absolute best. But then they kind of ruin it a little with going overboard. Which, frankly, I think is just ignorance of her situation really. I mean, we don't know what exactly is wrong with Rose. Just that she ends up in the hospital. If they knew about her condition, what causes her to get sick, what to look out for, etc, they'd be much more informed and much less likely to be frantic whenever something's not perfectly "normal" with her. All of these kids are going to be overprotective parents someday, aren't they?

Okay so like... are Adrien and Marinette going to question at all how Ladybug and Chat Noir showed up immediately after Juleka was akumatized, and no damage had happened outside of the school for it to be known to the public? Literally the only ones that could've possibly known were the class to have shown up that fast. ??? I am confusion. "I can't help my best friend face his father." "No, Nino..." Two things: The fact that THIS is what he's feeling guilty about? My poor Nino! Dx I just love him, he really doesn't get enough love and appreciation imo. Also, um, isn't Ladybug like right by Chat? Didn't she hear that? What? Idk but I feel like we're really missing something here. Usually we get things that are kind of hints, that make us wonder if they know right, but this? This is a bit too blaring-in-your-face, and there's two major things so close together. Really strange. Chat about to use Cataclysm on himself. Good grief that was not expected. Chat Blanc threatened to destroy himself along with everything else. Now Chat Noir while affected with negative emotions from an akuma almost Cataclysmed himself. This show really is getting deep and dark isn't it. o.o Also is there something Adrien needs to work out with someone...? Daizzi and Rose saying the other's so cute, ugh they're both so cute! And Pigella's costume and transformation is so adorable omg. Okay so Pigella's power allows people to see their biggest wish, the thing that'd make them the most happy and feel positive emotions. I know some people probably think "That's it?" Considering that Shadow Moth preys on people's negative emotions, such a power is actually extremely useful facing Shadow Moth. (And let's not forget, that while that's her power, she has the ability to fight and make a difference just from being transformed too) BUT AWWW Juleka's wish! And her face when Pigella said it aloud. ;-; Am I the only one wondering if Pigella may someday use her power on Shadow Moth and that's how they learn his motive? I'm so impressed with how Rose knew how to handle everything. She knew she can't slip up with Juleka. She knew to sneak away to detransform and come back as Rose. She knew to subtly give the Miraculous back so nobody would ever know she had it. Even Chat Noir had no idea! I don't know why, I'm just so very proud of that. "She doesn't need a Miraculous to be a superhero." She really has the characteristics of one, and I can't wait to see more of Pigella. Also I'm really wondering. This scene here:

All the kids that are part of that friend group are there...except Marinette and Adrien, of course. Alya knows why Marinette isn't there. But is she wondering about why Adrien isn't there too? LOL Marinette being like "I'm taking your pillow back, sorry! Gotta wait for it like everyone else." and the boys being like LE GASP. Marinette's right, she's not fragile! The fact Rose jokes with her and makes everyone laugh, and Chloe saying "Hey, why doesn't everyone laugh when I say something like that?!" Adrien: Because in your case, it's never a joke. Chloe: Hm, that's true. Which is super funny, especially how he just so casually says it. But also it really shows again how Chloe wants to be liked. She wishes the kids would laugh when she makes comments, but it's because they're said in a serious/obnoxious way, instead of making light of something like in Rose's case here, that they don't. I know she talked about it with Ladybug in an episode, but it again shows that that's what she'd like. All that needs to happen is someone helping her get there. Maybe Zoe and Luka will somehow help with that later on. Anyway, this was a really great episode! I feel like some things might not make quite as much sense as they should if we got it in order, but what can you do when Gloob has to air them? Even a friend of mine who's been doing what she can to avoid spoilers, still got spoiled. She's having to delete tumblr to avoid future spoilers because people can't help themselves and tag things properly. So thanks Gloob. :P All we wanted was the episodes in order. We've waited this long for S4, we can wait a bit longer. But they gotta make money I guess. I'm glad other countries are trying their best to keep it in order anyway. c: Guiltrip also has some really great Adrienette moments, and covered a more serious topic which was really interesting and shows how much the show's changing. Especially with some of the choice of camera angles and movements! Like the zoom-in on the door with Adrien and Marinette, the boys LE GASP scene. Very cool artistic choices! Looking forward to the episodes that come before this one to try to help fill in some of the gaps! And apologies to those that frequently read these posts from me, I started writing it up late and couldn't finish so you get it the day after instead. xD

#ml #miraculous ladybug #ml spoilers #ml season 4 spoilers #guiltrip spoilers #adrienette #juleka couffaine #rose lavillant #adrien agreste #marinette dupain-cheng #thoughts and reaction to guiltrip #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #miraculous ladybug spoilers

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acertainsomeone · 3 years

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Finding us- EdSer one shot

If he had any doubts before, this incident cleared them altogether. Eda Yildiz had not only taken over his holding and life but his dog as well. He couldn't come to terms with the fact that his best friend, his dog, whom he had brought up since he was a baby, had turned his back on him. Ever since he proposed to Selin, Eda had asked Seyfi bey to get Sirius back to Bolat place. Not that she didn't love him anymore, she found it appropriate that the dog was returned to his rightful owner. She didn't wish anymore for Serkan to treat her worse, if fate planned, his memories will come back otherwise she was not going to desperately beg him to choose her over Selin. It wasn't about pride. Her love was much more than self-respect. She realized that Serkan was scared of her because she managed to strike chords of his heart that were nonexistent for him. If she pushed him further, if she hovered over his head, he would be irked and god forbid if something serious happened to his health, she won't be able to forgive herself.

Sirius wasn't home, this was twice in the last three days that he had managed to escape. Serkan's pride was too much to call Eda and ask her to pay a visit to Sirius. Usually, he came back wagging his tail, it wasn't hard to spot him around but this time Serkan panicked. He checked the entire neighborhood and every possible place where Sirius could've gone. He had lost his memories; he couldn't afford to lose him.

"Where are you oğlum ?" He drove across the seats of Istanbul in apprehension. His heart skipped a beat thinking of a much worse possibility. Sirius wasn't among those dogs who get along with people, forget strangers.

What if somebody tried to harm him?

It wasn't hard to come across such crackheads, who would hurt animals for their pleasure.

"Alo" Serkan answered his phone in panic upon seeing Eda's name on the screen. She was going to chide him enough for being so careless.

As if he wasn't to be blamed in her eyes already

"No need to wander around the streets, Sirius is with me. I'm sending you the location. Hadi gel." Her voice was devoid of any emotions, she didn't let him speak and hung up asap.

Did he make a mistake?

What was this place? And why would Sirius come here? He wondered while climbing the steps of the apartment. He entered and found a wounded Sirius lying in Eda's lap. He was asleep, and Eda was caressing his head.

"SIRIUS!" He cried in panic, and Eda glared at him for being so loud.

"Shhhh you're gonna wake him."

'What happened?" He asked incredulously. Sitting beside Eda, caressing his only best friend with affection.

"I think he ran from your place - to find me. He would've expected me to be at the park. Few children hit him there. Thankfully, I was there for a walk and spotted him immediately."

"What park? I checked all places where he could be."

"There are places that became Sirius's preference, if not yours." She rolled her eyes

"Anyways Serkan, tell me in all honesty, can you take care of him or not? I can't risk his life like this."

He was about to fight back with a 'he's my dog' but he knew that would've turned into a nasty conversation. He owed a thank you to Eda.

"Teşekkürler Eda."

Eda looked at him plainly. It was hurting him to see her eyes without that love he was used to seeing ever since he came back. Why was it bothering him? He pushed her away, that's what he wanted.

"You stay with him tonight. He needs to rest."

"What is this place?" Serkan asked

"Home." She sighed in reverence. "I mean your home, you shifted here."

"Neden."

"I'll leave that story for your fiancé to tell after all she had been telling you everything, and you only believe her."

Eda picked her bag and stood up. "There's food in the fridge. Sirius's food is by the coffee table. And- your room is upstairs." She seemed in a hurry. He felt she was only telling him this to fulfill an obligation. He could feel her restless. But why? He had no idea

Serkan examined his room carefully. He was amazed Selin hadn't told him about moving out. The bedroom screamed that he was in a relationship with her Eda Yildiz.

Yok, the bed was made and broken lamps were fixed.

It had their memories. Her memories and belongings. Belongings that he would've never allowed in his premises.

Her clothes and undergarments were piled up along his. Her toothbrush and other toiletries were neatly placed in the bathroom. It didn't seem that they were placed there recently.

A weird sensation was pulling him towards those things. He ran his fingers through her belongings, having flashbacks. They were vivid.

For the first time, he heard her cackling voice too. It was blurry but even his bones could tell that they were in bed, and – he was doing things to make her laugh.

It can't be me

He shook his head in denial.

Serkan opened a drawer and found a USB. It wasn't the USB that grabbed his attention but the flower and note attached to it. That was his handwriting

"For us to remember all the good times- just in case."

***

"Serkannn!! Would you stop? Look at my state." A sleepy yet annoyed Eda shrieked at Serkan, who was prolly filming a video. He chuckled at her words, not paying attention to whatever she said.

"Eda I know how you look like without clothes." She threw a pillow at his head, and the video disrupted. "Watch out!"

"Are you filming us naked in bed?"

"Hayır, I'm filming this for us to remember that you can't stay mad at me for long." He replied in amusement. This was one of those nights when she had been mad at him but they made out in less than a moment.

"You think too highly of yourself Serkan bolat."

"I've got the brightest star for myself. Shouldn't I?"

"Can you stop this? I have to get up Serkan!"

"How about first you record a message for an 80-year-old Eda, who might've forgotten me?"

"How are you sure that it can't be you."

"I love you way too much to forget you. More than you could. We can bet on that." He winked at her shamelessly

"Tamam." She wasn't going to fight him on this. Eda moved forward cautiously wrapping her naked self with the duvet and kissed Serkan on the tip of his nose.

"This message is for old, yet madly in love Mr. and Mrs. Bolat! No matter how hard the times are, no matter how grave misunderstandings can be, no matter how bleak the road of hope is, we will find our way back, together."

"Always." He said with a smile and pulled her into a kiss. The video was for them so it didn't matter if it was all being recorded in that state.

***

We don't choose our parents, we don't choose our family, and at times life doesn't allow us to choose our partner as well. He would've never in his right mind made an illogical choice of falling for Eda Yildiz.

Yet he did

Did he make a mistake?

Because all that he had given her in this relationship was pain, so far.

The video brought back a bunch of memories. Their first kiss, first fight, first night, and the last goodbye.

Serkan was mercilessly driving on the empty roads of Istanbul. It was raining heavily and he was drenched. This rain could've made him sick, terribly

But did he even care anymore?

He had hurt the most important person in his life. He ruined everything

How could he forget her of all people? Serkan always claimed to love Eda more than she could. His love was fragile

He sobbed mercilessly, wishing to hit the car somewhere and end this pain. Events of the past few weeks circulated in front of his eyes. The way he was indifferent towards her. The way he resisted her touch and broke her heart all over again.

I never deserved her

He smacked his head against the steering wheel. His tears blocked his vision and he had no idea that he was driving beyond the speed limit with an absolutely insane state of mind.

Suddenly it grew all dark. He couldn't see anything. It felt that the steering wheel was moving in its own direction

All he could hear was noise. Eda's cries and his broken promises.

He was sitting in the police station absentmindedly. Eda was completing the formalities. They hadn't had any eye contact so far else he would've started crying right there. She took him by his arm as if he was lifeless.

"Serkan noldu? You were absolutely fine when I left." She asked him apprehensively, careful not to touch him. "Do you want me to call someone? Selin-"

She stopped immediately. He looked at her for the first time.

The gaze

Eda caught her breath. It was him.

It was really him

She knew that man

Those eyes, they weren't of a stranger. Those eyes recognized her, and she had seen love for her in them. But why was she seeing something stronger than love right now? Anguish

"Serkan!" She gasped unbelievingly. Her hands wrapped around his face possessively as if he'd leave this time if she didn't hold him tight

"I-" he was struggling with words. Should he tell her how scared he was when the pilot told them that the plane was going to crash? How he cursed himself for leaving her behind? Or how much he loves her? Where do I begin

Eda sobbed with happiness. She did not know what to say anymore. He was there, right in front of her. Her Serkan. Her robot bolat

The man who loved her

They were sitting at the shore. Looking blankly at the sea. The waves were calm but their hearts weren't. He had held her hand, and the grip was so strong that it was hurting her a bit but she didn't complain۔

"Eda" he broke the silence

"I don't even have words to ask for your forgiveness. I made another mistake, I broke your heart once again, didn't fulfill my promise, and became the reason for your tears." He was stuttering۔ words weren't leaving his mouth easily whereas Eda kept on looking at him with tears in her eyes

"What I did in the last few weeks can't be forgiven. I've hurt you. I won't beg you to return back to me. I can't make mistakes repeatedly and expect you to stand by the road waiting for me. I-" He stopped and his voice broke further

"Eda you might not want me back in your life but can you please forgive me? One last time? I won't be able to live with the fact that you hate me. Just don't hate me please"

He was begging her, his hands joined together in front of her pleading for forgiveness. His eyes were screaming in pain. He won't be able to bear that hate in this heart. If she stopped caring for him, he won't even bat an eye, but accepting the fact that she despises him? Serkan Bolat would die.

He knew he was being selfish. Yet again, he was thinking of himself. But he was selfish, he never deserved someone as selfless as Eda Yildiz. He disgraced their love, he ruined their relationship, and now if she wished to discontinue this fragile relationship, he won't subject.

"I failed our love Eda. I failed you." She could tell that he was not able to breathe properly. Eda's heart sunk the moment he adjoined his hands in front of her. With each pleading, it felt as if someone was squeezing her heart mercilessly.

"Fate failed us Serkan." She sniffed between her sobs. Her hands cupped his face immediately. She wanted to protect him, she wanted to curl his masculine self among her soft frame. She wished to provide him that comfort and safety his heart seek for the last few months.

He was asking her to forgive him. He feared that she hated him now. How could she?

Serkan had become more than a partner for her, he was a part of her. We don't detach ourselves from what lies within us.

He looked at her disbelievingly. Eda wiped his face with her palms. No more crying. They had enough, more than enough. The pain they had endured was enough for a lifetime.

"We'll leave. Somewhere far away, nobody could find us. Away from this mess, this hate, this chaos. Serkan we have each other. We are not going to let them ruin our happiness."

Was she for real?

"Tamam?" Eda pestered. He nodded in return, unable to say something.

"Seni cok seviyorum." Serkan mumbled only for her to hear as she adorned his face with delicate kisses.

"I have so much to tell you." She sighed in between.

"Where are you taking us?" He did not know why he was asking this. It didn't matter, the question came out of his mouth involuntarily.

"We are going to look for phoenixes." He did not know what that meant but he need not ask. As long as she was there, he didn't have to worry about anything. Eda embraced him protectively like a child. He was in his safe haven.

He was finally saved from the crash.

#eda yildiz #edser #serkan bolat #sen çal kapimi #sen cal kapimi #sen çal kapımı #sen cal kapımı #turkishdizi #hande erçel #kerem bürsin #edser fic

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silverinia · 3 years

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I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

#Christine Baranski #Christmas On The Square #dolly parton #shitty movie reviews by yours truly

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prurientpuddlejumper · 4 years

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A Deep and Rapid River, Ch. 8 [18+]

<- Chapter 7 | Chapter 9 ->

Summary: PANIC.

Bess’s face is paper-white, her irises like pin-pricks in her eyes. She stands frozen in the doorway, unable to comprehend what she was utterly unprepared to see upon entry.

“B-Bess?” you stammer stupidly, also barely processing the reality of the situation.

The noise was enough to snap her out of her paralysis, and, like a rabbit freed from a snare, she turns and bolts.

She only makes it a few paces from the door, into the yard, when she staggers to a halt, breathing hard, muscles shaking, her hands clenching into fists. She roars like a lion—a savage, feral battle cry summoning courage she doesn’t have—and charges back into the barn. In one swift motion she crouches, still running, and snatches the pitchfork from the floor.

Brandishing the weapon at the enormous monster pinning you to the wall, she screams, “LET GO OF HER, YOU FREAK!”

She was ready for a fight that she knew she might lose. She wasn’t expecting the horrific brute to just stand there, slack-jawed. She wasn’t expecting you to shriek and throw your arms around your attacker, protecting it.

Her eyes drift down to your legs wrapped around his waist. Your bodies intertwined. Undressed.

Her tight-lipped grimace of fear evolves into a different kind of wide-eyed dread. This wasn’t an attack. Her rescue attempt wasn’t wanted. This was… what the fuck was this?! She drops the pitchfork and runs, and this time she doesn’t come back.

You feel your whole world spinning.

Nothing is real.

You can barely see.

It feels like you’re being strained through a narrow tube, squeezed like an apple in a cider press. You are vaguely aware of some pathetic whimpering noises, which you realize are coming from your throat.

The creature pulls out his flaccid cock from between your legs, and a flood of cum shocks you awake.

“Oh my god, oh god, oh fuck!” you repeat on loop as he sets you down, pacing as soon as your feet hit the floor. “Fuck. Oh my god.” She saw you—she saw you doing that! With your skirts around your waist and—you barely have time to be humiliated (though apparently embarrassment and terror can coexist, evidenced by your burning-hot face) because more importantly she saw him!

The look on her face. She was horrified. Horrified by what you were doing. What did she think was happening? Some kind of satanic ritual? Some dark witchcraft with a demon or evil spirit? That’s what everyone thinks, isn’t it? That you were being haunted by dark forces—and now they’ll know it’s true! All those suspicions and rumors confirmed tenfold!

Stupid!

You shouldn’t have been so quick to try to defend him from her—if you played along and acted as if he were attacking you, he could have escaped and you could've…

Could have what? Salvaged your own reputation and destroyed his once and for all? No. Your body moved on instinct anyway. Even rationally knowing she posed no real danger to him, you couldn’t let her threaten him without jumping in the way.

“Maybe she will understand,” the creature suggests. This time he is the voice of reason, placing a steadying hand on your shoulder to stop your pacing and muttering aloud. “The girl is your friend.”

You bark a cynical laugh. “Did it look like she understands? Maybe—maybe—if I could explain, but she’s gone. She—” Oh god. Your parents. She must have run straight to the house and told them what she saw!

You risk a peek outside, and glance up the hill. They aren’t storming down from the house at this very moment.

“They hitched the mule to the cart this morning, to bring jugs of milk to town to sell,” the creature explains. In your panic, you’d forgotten. One blessing on this cursed day.

“Bess must have run home, then. At a full sprint, that means we have about five minutes until the whole town is alerted, and about five minutes after that until they break down the barn door with torches and guns.” Finally you’re starting to think again, to plan. “What do we do?”

He clenches his jaw. He had hoped that your promise could come true. That you might be able to introduce him to others, and this time, with your aid, he would not be driven away. Though it was an accident, perhaps being seen by your friend was an opportunity.

But from experience, he knew you were right. That girl was certain to scream ‘monster’ to the entire town, and the hunter who had just sighted him not an hour before would validate her tale, and would be all too happy to learn where the vile creature was living. Any chance of a cordial introduction was ruined. His greatest concern now was your safety—being discovered as his ally placed you in grave danger of being hurt by a mob intent on killing him.

“We must run.”

“But where? There’s nowhere to go! We can’t just show up in a neighboring town—we’ll have the exact same problem, only worse, because I’ll be a stranger to them too.”

“Before our meeting, I wandered for many months in the wilderness, away from the persecution human eyes. The desert mountains and dreary glaciers were my refuge. The caves of ice were a dwelling to me, and the only one which man does not grudge.”

“Are you joking? We can’t just run away into the woods—I’ll starve! You might be fine, but I…” You’re breathing too fast, too shallow. The edges of your vision start closing in again. He takes your shoulders, enveloping them in his warm hands

“Food will be more plentiful now, berries and edible greens more abundant. Mousserons are growing. I will take care of you, I swear it.”

It isn’t terribly convincing, at least not to your panic-addled mind. You imagine yourself huddled and shivering on a floor of damp leaf litter, unable to feel your fingers. Goosebumps rush down your arms just picturing your freezing state. Feverish. What if you get sick?!

He senses the nightmares swirling before your eyes, and knows his words have done nothing to reassure you. There’s one more card he has yet to play which may yet abate your fear, though he is loath to admit it. “I know a place we may find shelter. Perhaps a home.”

“How? Where?”

“Geneva. Victor Frankenstein.”

Your eyes snap to his. “Your father? But, you despised him. He abandoned you. What makes you think he would help us now?”

“When I was first given the spark of life by his hand, I arose an uncoordinated, senseless mass of flesh. Endowed of all my present hideousness yet lacking any sign of intelligence, I must, in my infancy, truly have been a horror to behold. My creator could never have imagined I would ever find myself a companion so lovely.

“Such negligence on his part is why I hated him. To create a being capable of sensitive thought, who desired only to be loved, and was too ugly ever to be loved. Why must he have made me able to feel such longing!—such intense emotion!—yet deny me the possibility of companionship? For the maddening solitude he abandoned me to, I wished to inflict upon him suffering matching my own.

“Yet now, any reason I held for anger against him is dissipated. You make me happy to have been created. If the sorrow of my creation is the price to be paid for finding you, then I would happily pay it again. Therefore, for your sake, I can put aside resentment to beseech his aid.

“Perhaps his horror will have diminished now that I can petition myself to him rationally, and have a beautiful, charming mate to attest to my character. He is a scientist. He cannot be so prejudiced against me, whom he created, that he would not be moved by our tale.

“If he is not, regardless, I will not be so easily abandoned this time. He owes me a debt, as a father. He must help. He will help.”

A flicker of hope ignites inside you. If you have a destination—a benefactor—towards which you can run, then perhaps you won’t die like a lost lamb separated from the flock. You nod in understanding. Frankenstein may not willingly offer hospitality, but he will be convinced to give it one way or another—and if your daemon is willing to confront his past for your sake, then you must at least be willing to try.

“OK. I can pack all the supplies I’ll need to survive for a few weeks… warm clothing, blankets, food, what coin I have… and we’ll figure it out from there!”

Yes. This could work, this could really work!

Your spirits kick into high gear. “Hurry—we must hurry! How much time have we wasted talking? You are in the most danger if you are seen. I’ll pack a bag and meet you at my hiding spot behind the boulders in five minutes. Go!”

He kisses you quickly on the lips, and you both dash away to your respective tasks.

********

Your feet pound up the creaky wooden staircase to your bedroom. Your home is small and rustic, but built large enough by your ancestors (out of wood from the surrounding forest) that you were afforded your own private room. It was a bedroom meant to be shared by many siblings, but you were the only one to survive past childhood. Heat filtered up to it from the cast-iron stove through loose floorboards, though on the coldest nights you slept in the kitchen.

It is dark for midday. Even after you throw open the shutters, you need to light a tallow candle to locate your belongings, and start shoving them into your pack. The sky outside is overcast with gray, foreboding clouds.

You look around for the last time at all of your needle-pointing hanging from the walls, charcoal drawings of birds and flowers sketched longingly on a winter day, and pages and pages of writing hidden under the mattress, bearing far too much of your heart to be found. It was a room full of yearning to leave, but it was yours. And you were leaving.

You squish the mass of fabrics down to make room for hardtack, carrots, cheese, and a jug of water you intend to steal from the kitchen. Less space is freed up than you hoped. You pull out a blanket that would have only gotten soaked and moldy the first time it rained anyway.

Will this really be enough to survive? It will have to be, you tell yourself as you sling the straps over your shoulders. It’s time to go.

The sound of voices and hoof-beats drift in through the walls. A jolt shoots through your chest. They were too close. If you ran out the door now, they would almost certainly see you. Shit. You weren’t an especially fast runner, you’d never lose whoever it was in a fair race. You pray they’ll head straight down to the barn looking for the creature, who should already be safely waiting at your meeting place. Then, once they’ve passed, you can slip out quietly and disappear into the trees.

The door opens.

Your hope is crushed beneath the threshold.

Is this it? Are you going to die? Is a mob going to pull you, screaming, heels dragging, from your home and burn you as a witch? Your breath catches in your throat, and you try to swallow but find that you can’t. All you can think is, I don’t want to die.

By a strange miracle, your terror is short-lived. There are only a handful of voices, not an angry mob, and two of them are your parents. Maybe they hadn’t heard yet. Maybe your best friend didn’t stir up a riot to hunt you down and kill you. Maybe, somehow, it was going to be OK.

They call your name. “Are you here? Come downstairs, we have a matter of urgent importance to discuss. Immediately.”

Maybe not.

You finally swallow the lump in your throat, and, tucking the bag behind your bedroom door, slowly descend the creaky stairs.

Your mother and father both have their arms crossed, and a different, yet equally stern expression upon their faces. Your father looks as though he could skin you alive and but would be too annoyed by the effort. Your mother looks at you disapprovingly, but with an odd smile threatening to show in the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes and mouth—as if she had just won a game you had forced her to play.

As you continue down the stairs, a third person comes into view. A young man with sandy blond hair. Ferdinand. Hairs raise on the back of your neck. What the hell is he doing here? The look on his face is almost the same as your mother’s, except his smile is unrestrained, vicious.

“Hello, darling! Wonderful news. We’re getting married!”

#frankenstein #Frankenstein's Monster #monster x reader #the creature x reader #monster x human #my writing #much shorter update I hope it doesn't feel rushed? I wrote it surprisingly quickly #everything starts happening really fast now

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