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multigenderswag · 11 months

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people are only trans/nonbinary allies when it suits THEIR identity and it sickens me.

it’s so widespread I can’t even do anything about it except seethe in silence because I don’t want to get hunted down and embarrassed again.

if people could look outside of what accepting trans/nb people would mean for THEIR sexuality for one fucking second i guarantee you there would be less discourse in this dumpster fire of community

yes, this is about man lesbians/woman gays.

I saw someone call a demiboy lesbian “straight” and then have the audacity to say “nonbinary lesbians are valid!1!”. PICK A FUCKING SIDE.

hi yes last anon i forgot my last point so-called “trans allies” also like to ignore the idea of male and female not being mutually exclusive. I pray they get their asses handed to them one day by some fellow multigender folk because at this point direct confrontation is the only that that’ll get them to see the cold light of day and stop being part of the problem. they don’t like to accept us because they can’t handle the thought of being attracted to the opposite gender, even if it’s in the most slim way- so much so that they can’t see that *we’re not forcing them to DATE us, we’re asking them to ACCEPT and INCLUDE us.* if there’s someone in a community they don’t want to date it’s fine until that person happens to be genderqueer/trans/enby. and that’s very telling about how accepting they really are.

Trans liberation, and honestly any kind of activism for any marginalized group, would not be possible if people only ever stood up for their own identity. We need to support each other in order to have any strength.

Some people really will only expand their view of sexuality and gender until they find something that fits, and then stop there, and don't bother learning about or advocating for anyone else. And that's not how activism works! If aroallo people like me never made any effort to understand and accept and stand up for asexual folks, the aspec community as a whole wouldn't get very far. And like you said, if trans/nonbinary people only cared about their own gender identity, and never made an effort to learn about and stand up for the variety of trans/nonbinary identities that exist in the community, the trans community wouldn't get very far!

It's disgusting to insist that someone's sexuality is something they say it isn't. Did that demiboy identify as straight? If the answer to that is no, don't call them straight. It's very simple, really.

Did they not hear the contradiction? Do they listen to themselves speak? At this point, I'm convinced some of the "lesbian means NON MEN loving NON MEN" crowd includes nonbinary lesbians because they see nonbinary people as women. Nonbinary can mean woman with short hair or woman who uses they/them pronouns or maybe even woman who got top surgery, but god forbid nonbinary lesbians call themselves men or go on T or get bottom surgery or be someone who was assigned male at birth and doesn't want to medically transition. Basically, they only support nonbinary people if they can conveniently view them as "basically a woman."

There's no way to be a trans ally if you view "male" and "female" as mutually exclusive or as polar opposites. That shit is Gender Binary 101, and deconstructing it should be one of the first steps of being a trans ally. It shouldn't be something that other trans and nonbinary people believe so commonly. Not only does this mindset exclude multigender people who are both men and women, but it hurts binary trans people who are connected to or feel like they used to be their assigned gender.

"We can't accept men who identify as lesbians, because then they will invade lesbian spaces and force lesbians to date them." Does this sound like TERF talking about lesbian trans women, or a so-called trans ally talking about multigender lesbians? Trick question, it sounds like both, because they're practically indistinguishable from each other. So many trans allies, even trans/nonbinary people themselves, will make the exact same arguments as TERFs and not see a single thing wrong with it, and it's awful.

You're not helping the trans community if you only accept identities that are convenient for you.

#lesbian #multigender lesbian #male lesbian #transmultiphobia #damn i went off. shoutout to anyone who read this far #sexuality #asks

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starridge · 3 years

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Hey, you don’t have to post this, but I thought I'd let you know, as an aro-spec person who enjoys your content, it seems a bit. Iffy, to make Jules Aro. Like, you're totally free to do whatever you want with your characters and I honestly to trust you to handle it well. but. having the character who is like. The bad guy of the group. Who's been stated to be homophobic on multiple occasions. And is otherwise stated to be cishet. As Aro. With the whole pervasive stereotype of aro people being like. Unable to show love in any capacity and therefore being 'evil'. And existing outside the rest of the lgbt community. It's just a bit uncomfortable. Especially when you're talking about how he's aro and then joking about how he's evil and deserves to die in the same breathe. Again, this isn't an attack or anything, I love your content and I think you're a very talented person, but it might just be worth examining a bit. Thanks for taking the time to read this, have a nice rest of your day/night :)

Your concerns are completely valid, and if it's something that's actively harmful it's something I can change, but.

I know this isn't a catch-all excuse, but I do want to start off by saying pretty much the whole reason I started considering him aro was because of an aroallo friend repeatedly encouraging me to make him aroallo after I'd talked about how I think that, while it's not relevant at all to the story, I can't see him desiring a romantic relationship. Jules being homophobic is a joke from other people (I don't really joke about it myself because I don't think he is?), but the story is set in Victorian England, where homophobia was the societal expectation. And I called him cishet aro in the tags because it was shorter to type than "cisgender heterosexual aromantic" within the character limit of the tags. When I typed it out in an ask, I called him heterosexual aromantic. Referring to him as cishet aro was the result of a character limit, not exclusion.

As for the jokes, I can see how they come across poorly. While I intended them to be "him being aromantic has no bearing on his actions and shouldn't sway his perception more positive or more negative", my intentions don't matter if it's not read that way, and even my original intent could be unintentionally malicious.

I felt that him being aro had no bearing on his character or motivations and just reflected something about his character, as his end goal is entirely motivated from his status as a rich white man from a high social standing. I'm asexual and arospec (though the arospec thing isn't something I talk about a lot because I don't feel it's personally too important to go into specifics with that part of my identity) so I really do understand the importance of taking aspec/arospec characters with extra care, especially in queer stories. But again, I do know that my intentions don't matter if it's harmful regardless.

#Again I don't want it to seem like I'm shutting down criticism and I'm very open to discussing this and listening #I tried to respond succinctly but it's late so forgive any poor wording on my part

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