#astral.txt

[astral-mariner]

Vegebul headcanons: Vegeta fell for Bulma first

So lots of ppl in fanfic often write Bulma falling for Vegeta first. I see it the other way around.

The ship explodes while he's training, and he suddenly has all this downtime he never had while serving under Freeza. They've had surface-level conversations before, gotten at each other's throats over alien-human misunderstandings as well as serious moral and/or experiential differences. But while he's recovering, he gets a bit stir-crazy and just...finds himself around Bulma rather often, and they actually start to get to know each other.

Bulma finds him dark and mysterious---fascinating to her in an almost scientific way because he's so like a human but so different at the same time. She admires his tenacity; though he would never characterize himself as a victim, she knows he's faced grief and hardship, and carrying on with such clarity of purpose anyway is heartening in a way. Meanwhile, Vegeta just doesn't understand why this woman insists on talking to him, making sure he takes care of himself... He can understand her providing gear and housing---she and her friends need him for the upcoming battle. But the interest, openness, and basic kindness she displays baffles him, especially when he is a sworn enemy of Kakarot's. With Nappa and Raditz things were always complicated. So many roles and expectations with him being their prince. But with this Earth woman, there are no expectations at all. So he doesn't know what to do with her.

He won't let himself think of her as beautiful even if his eyes linger on her. He has just seen so few women like her. Certainly, he's never spent so much time with one either. Always on his way to a new planet. No real friends or consistency of any kind. That's not to say he regards her as a friend. Of course not. He tells himself that she's useful. She has resources, power. And she pursues her own ends with intensity and fearlessness---saiyan qualities he understands.

And then she's in his thoughts day and night. He thinks of her scent or her voice when he's trying to train, when he's lying awake and can't sleep. That sparkle in her eyes when he challenges her, but it doesn't shake her in the slightest. Her laugh, her little touches. He's head over heels for her long before they have sex, but he has no context for feelings like that. He just feels like he's losing his mind.

And it scares the shit out of him. How can he focus on transforming and defeating the one who took his birthright and Freeza's death from him when this woman is just fucking haunting him? He doesn't even know it's romantic attraction. He won't even accept that he's sexually attracted even though his body reacts to hers however fiercely he avoids looking at or touching her.

Meanwhile, Bulma has just broken up with Yamcha. She's not really in a place where she's thinking about a new relationship. She might want to have some fun here and there now that she's single, sure, but she's much more focused on the arrival of the Androids. Especially since she knows how hard her future self worked to warn everyone and give them a chance to have a different outcome than she did. And Vegeta is a powerful asset to have on her side. As much of a jerk as he can be, he works tirelessly to prepare himself for the battle, and helping him become stronger may make a difference in their survival.

Sure, it tickles her scientist brain to have an alien living on her property she can ask about space and otherworldly tech whenever she wants. And Vegeta himself has a fascinating (if dark and disturbing) personal history. He's not what she expects in some ways. Proud, and yet also very reserved and even shy. Aggressive and intense, but at the same time thoughtful, introspective, and so dedicated to his calling that she realizes it's a spiritual thing for him, perhaps even religious.

She finds herself enjoying his company even when she knows that she shouldn't. He's not exactly a true ally. He's not a good person. But he's just so...interesting. And he's more attractive than he seems to realize. She indulges a fantasy or two of what he might be like in bed. But it's not serious. She knows she shouldn't. It would never work out. It would be so fucking complicated and fraught for everyone involved. There's no way an alien man would have the same (or even compatible) ideas about relationships or sex. Even if Vegeta did, he'd never fucking tolerate having a frank conversation about it. He's really kind of a prude.

And yet...they spend more time with each other, and the tension between them just builds. Over months and months, it builds slowly but surely. And one day, it just fucking breaks. One evening, they end up closer than usual. Touching each other, and it gets really intense really fast. No time to really discuss where things are going or what anything means---they just need each other in that moment. And it works out. Somehow. It's almost too easy. Despite all the cultural differences. They have sex, and it feels...good.

For Vegeta, sexuality had previously always been something tainted with negativity. What's the point of having a drive for sex, after all, when you're the last of your kind, and fleeting pleasures are hardly more than distractions? But with Bulma, everything just felt so fucking right and good. Like finally getting to experience all the things he'd always wondered about and longed for even if he never admitted it to himself. Things he thought were impossible. Having sex in a situation where he had a real choice in the matter. With a woman when he had spent his whole life having to accept the fact that no saiyan women had survived. On top of everything, not only does he want her---desperately---but she wants him in return. How she squirms when he touches her, how her scent changes, how she trembles and whimpers when he gets to do all the things he never let himself want before.

It just completely and utterly unravels him, and he can't get enough of her. He thought that, just maybe, if he gave in and slept with her, she wouldn't fucking haunt him anymore, but it just gets fucking worse. He needs her like water. Like if he doesn't get to be in her presence and touch her, he will just fucking lose it even more than he already has. And it fucking terrifies him. He's only ever wanted one thing: to transform and make things right after Freeza destroyed everything. But now he's preoccupied, and he can't handle it. He doesn't know what to do. What any of it means. What he really wants out of any of it. And he has no idea what she wants either. Only that however many times he tries to stay away from her, they always end up tangled up again. He couldn't even tell her how he feels even if he wanted to because he's so clueless about what's happening to him.

Meanwhile Bulma is just absolutely floored by how intense everything is from the beginning. She wonders if it's a saiyan thing, or if he's just intense like that himself. She doesn't know what Vegeta's full history with sex is, but she knows it's complicated. All she knows is that he kisses her like it's his last day on Earth. That he fucks her like he couldn't resist her if he tried (and he does try). And she can't help but ride that high. She brings this mysterious, strong, and austere man to his knees, and her power over him is intoxicating. She knows she shouldn't play around with someone so dangerous even if she's convinced he'll become an ally eventually. She knows that most of her friends wouldn't approve. It's not like she wants to DATE Vegeta. But gods...his desperation, the way he almost worships her, how wild and even frightening he can be---she can't help but indulge herself at least a little bit even if it's against her better judgment. It's not serious, after all. It's not like Vegeta of all people would even want to be some kind of partner to her anyway. He just wants sex (right?), and that's all she wants too. So she proposes a friends-with-benefits situation that they are determined to keep on the down-low.

Vegeta's head is just spinning at all of this. He still doesn't fucking know what to do with her. He can't have an attachment to her---especially not now when his sole focus needs to be transforming---but imagining his life without her is just... So he just lets her call it whatever she pleases, as long as no one else is involved and no one else knows about it. The weakness all the more glaring and real if other people know about it. He can tell himself he is just having sex with her so he can stay focused on training. Nothing more than that. Certainly not.

Over the course of it, Vegeta's feelings for her just intensify. If he was head over heels before they had sex, the more time they spend and the more intimate they become, he only falls more madly in love with her. And while Bulma tells herself that feelings aren't really involved for her beyond the friendship she develops with him, she has little pangs of romantic longing that hit her out of nowhere from time to time. Almost hard not to when the sex is the way that it is. She wonders sometimes if he has feelings for her. Real feelings. But he just couldn't, right? She's just being a silly hopeless romantic like she was when she was younger, and she's over that. He's an alien with a tortured past, and he's not boyfriend material, and she's fine with that. That's not what she wants anyway. Certainly not right now with the end of the world around the corner.

We all know how things go down after this, though, don't we?

But yeah. I headcanon Vegeta falls first and harder, whereas Bulma falls gradually after they become involved. Bulma has experienced good relationships before, and she wasn't looking for a romance with Vegeta in the wake of her breakup. Vegeta, on the other hand, hasn't experienced romantic love or sexual attraction where things weren't fucked up and fraught in some way before. So his "relationship" (re: passionate affair) with Bulma means so much more to him even if he couldn't articulate it. It completely blows him away, but he doesn't have the context or emotional insight to make sense of it. So he just panics, lol.

#yes I am planning to write a 3 Year Gap fic eventually #once I finish my Vegeta/Raditz under Freeza fic #vegebul #vegeta #bulma #I wrote a super shitty one waaaay back in the day #and my thoughts have evolved a lot over time #headcanons #astral.txt

[lesbiansexvirus]

there is a sexual or even perverse nature to changing a car tire

#astral.txt

[simstorydirect]

simstorydirect's masterlist now features 50 stories!

if you want to add yours, fill out this form

#i wanted to do a little celebration post #for fun #astral.txt #and yes i did learn illustrator specifically for this yet it failed. what about it

[pm5-archive]

Okay, this has probably been a long time coming at this point, but: I am uninstalling Tumblr. The final straw has been multiple mutuals passing around a huge donation post with links to multiple fascist organizations, as opposed to fact-checking what things are listed, though other bouts of misinformation being spread en masse during other major world events contributed to it.

Also, I just don't like Tumblr all that much and I suspect staying on here has made my mental health worse.

I'm probably not going to log back in for a while. Discord is Astin#5148, not super active on there but if you need to get in touch that's how.

Bye lol

#astral.txt

[penistrite]

Anyways! In news that isn't just me remaking! I've been working more on that one murder sim game I've always wanted to make.

#astral.txt

[astral-mariner]

vegeta/raditz headcanons

I'm actually surprised this pairing isn't more popular! I feel like once people really think about it, there's a lot of appeal, and there's plenty of places even in canon to imagine a relationship more complex than mere comrades. Feelings/headcanons dump on why:

Vegeta and Raditz are, to their knowledge, the last two young people left alive of their species. Sure, Vegeta might look down on Raditz for being low-class and considerably weaker than him, but as much as Vegeta might deny it, they share a history, a culture, and a bond (re: trauma bond).

They traveled and fought together before the destruction of their planet. Makes you wonder how Raditz ended up fighting alongside Vegeta. Lots of interesting speculations available here. (In the V/R story I'm writing, for example, Raditz reveals that he won a tournament to become Vegeta's fighting partner---even besting several elite saiyans of similar ages.) Makes you wonder, too, if Raditz fighting with Vegeta instead of another noble was something unheard of or scandalous.

And while we all know saiyans and humans aren't quite the same, I don't think it's a stretch to imagine they experience emotions like love/affection, loneliness, and grief in some similar ways. Even if these emotions are labeled "soft" or "weak" by their culture. (Here, too, I don't imagine their culture is a monolith: Vegeta, for example, probably faces more pressure to be "cold-hearted" or free of attachment than Raditz does because of his role and figurehead status.) So we end up with three saiyans, all of whom face varying degrees of pressure to move past the loss of their home and people, who must nevertheless find some kind of solace in each other in order to carry on. Meaning and purpose are definitely more elusive when Freeza controls every aspect of your life. When the people and culture that gave context to what matters to you are simply...gone. No more than memories.

The saiyans certainly put on a front of strength and invulnerability. Vegeta more than any of them. He doesn't care that his home is gone. He doesn't care that he'll never see his parents again. It makes sense that he has to tell himself that in a lot of ways: he's constantly facing new and unrelenting horrors under Freeza, both that he inflicts and that are inflicted upon him. If he stopped to grieve or acknowledge the wrongs being done, he wouldn't be able to pick himself back up and keep going. Forcing himself not to care is a defense mechanism.

But even then, there are moments of weakness. He punishes Raditz and Nappa when the immense burden of loss becomes too much for them to bear. When the purging assignments remind them all too much of how their own people were destroyed. And yet...the reason Vegeta punishes them so severely is because he sees those same vulnerabilities in himself. He needs to suppress and smother them. Violently.

Raditz doesn't blame Vegeta for the abuse he deals out as much as he could. As far as he (Raditz) understands, Vegeta has to be the way that he is in order to be as strong as possible and make at least something right after all that's happened. Nevertheless, he senses that, deep down, Vegeta struggles with loss and isolation as much as they all do. Even if no one ever acknowledges it outright.

Despite all the bullshit and unhealthy coping mechanisms, it's no great leap to imagine Vegeta and Raditz having their moments in spite of them. Vegeta might still regard Raditz as lesser; Raditz might still find Vegeta awful and insufferable. Yet Raditz admires Vegeta for his strength and determination; he hopes Vegeta really can live up to the legends to which they all cling in the absence of all else.

Meanwhile, Vegeta sees in Raditz someone who, in some ways, has more freedom than he does. Freedom to express the feelings he himself must stifle. Raditz will never be the Super Saiyan of legend. There will be no great consequence if he admits he misses his mother---just a little embarrassment and maybe some dishonor. And Vegeta longs for those things as much as he tells himself he hates them. To be able to let loose and lay down the burden of his rank.

Though as we know from canon, Vegeta seemed unmoved by Raditz's death. Even said he and Nappa were better off without him. This tells us a lot about their dynamic, but there's lots of room for speculation here too. Things must've always been fraught between them. Vegeta's pride and resentment got in the way. (And you can imagine that there was fear involved too: just as Vegeta had lost everything, he could lose Raditz and Nappa at any time; there would only be more pain if he let himself become attached.) Perhaps there were some truly awful fights between them. Perhaps they had a sort of love/hate relationship with each other. Two young people, the last of their kind---yet cultural, personal, and circumstantial obstacles drive them apart and prevent them from having any kind of loving, uncomplicated partnership.

Even then, though, there's still a certain inevitability to it. Vegeta can tell himself over and over he needs no one and wants nothing but power, but it doesn't make it true. He's still a young man like any other young man. He can't survive completely on his own as much as he wants to, and when Freeza has worn him down, and Raditz is there offering just the littlest touch of companionship, it shakes his defenses in a way more pain and trauma never could. (The same thing happens again with Bulma after he returns to Earth, but to an even greater degree.)

Anyway, this ship has a ton of potential! Angst, drama, trauma-bonding, love/hate, intensity---all things you can get out of it. And still quite plausible in canon. I'd love to see more art and fics exploring the possibilities! I'll definitely share some. I particularly enjoy the dark, angsty side of those possibilities myself... Stay tuned for more ramblings :)

#astral.txt #vegeta #raditz #headcanons #I will get everyone aboard this angsty ship with me

[las-lunas-de-saturno]

"La llama gemela no se busca; ella misma te encuentra en el momento exacto.Se sentará a tu lado mágicamente y fluiran como viejos y maravillosos amigos milenarios multidimensionales" 🌌🖤🌀🪐🌙

#llama gemela #astral #astraldestiny #astral.txt #amigos milenarios #destino #love #textos #textos astrales #friends #alma gemela #algun dia #en algún lugar #futuro #wishes #imagenes astrales #viaje astral #memories #en esta vida #en otra vida #planetas

[celestial-mangoshakes]

viren and aaravos are aries/scorpio solidarity

#tdp #the dragon prince #viravos #aaravos #viren #tdp viren #tdp aaravos #calling it now before im wrong #astral.txt

[guybortion]

me: *does a face mask and nothing else and calls it self-care*

#astral.txt #text

[astral-mariner]

I'd say that probably one of the most common but very difficult flaws to wrangle in creative writing---even stories that are well written (good grammar, etc.)---is a lack of subtlety.

Pretty much every writer has heard the "show don't tell" adage, but where you can really set your writing apart is doing an emotional version of show-don't-tell. What do I mean by this? For example, rather than describe how your character is feeling and why, an author can show how that character is feeling. What is the character's body language? What are they trying to convey and/or conceal? When they speak, is their dialogue straightforward and honest, or are they putting up a front of some kind to protect themselves, conceal their true feelings, mislead someone, delude themselves, etc.?

Give the reader all the social cues and narrative clues about why the character is saying and doing the things they say/do, but then leave it to the reader to interpret them. It makes for a much more engaging and realistic experience. Like real life---we don't always understand what's going through another person's head, and we have to get to know them to be able to understand them. Your readers will feel like they are getting to know your characters, and it will be a rewarding experience, as the characters will feel more multidimensional and real. Because they aren't just out there right in the open, explained. Rather, they reveal and conceal themselves by their words, actions, thoughts, and how all those things play against each other and even contradict.

A writer doesn't have to have something like an unreliable narrator to make this work, but it's an amazing idea to take cues from the subtlety unreliable narration can provide. A richer, more complex reading experience where the reader has to get to know the characters to understand what's really happening, what they are really feeling.

#writing #astral.txt

[astral-mariner]

Hello, followers! So I'm having a big surgery tomorrow. Wish me luck---it's something that's been in the making for a decade. I wanted to provide a writing sample before my surgery, but I got a cold and had to work a ton beforehand, so I didn't get to it.

But! I will be off work for twelve weeks following my surgery. And I'll have a bunch of time to write if my brain isn't mush. I'd love to finish my V/R fic, but I'll definitely at least get something for y'all to read before I finish.

#astral.txt

[astral-mariner]

Fun fact: My handle is a reference to this track that means a lot to me. It'll tell you a lot about my taste/aesthetic too. It's dark, cinematic, intense, and emotional. It's a black metal track, but there's still a certain beauty to it. The lyrics, which I've copied below, are about weathering trauma, and despite lamenting the resulting numbness and isolation, there's a hope and a call at the end for someone to connect with someone else despite everything.

My favorite characters in fandom are ones who SURVIVE and find meaning in their lives in spite of the horrors they face. Vegeta falls into this category, of course. Some of my other favorites are Guts from Berserk and Frodo and Sam from LOTR.

I love dark media, but I love it because it can be strangely comforting. If you've faced hardship in your life (as we all have), knowing you're not alone in your struggles is powerful. And knowing that there is still meaning, beauty, and connection to be found in the aftermath is healing.

#astral.txt #astral gets personal